The Fifty State Roadtrip
by aspiringAnimator
Summary: "Alright! Listen up, scrubs. Each of you represents your home state! You may not tell anyone your name! You have to go by the state that you're from. Capiche? Fifty contestants. Five teams. One prize. Let's do this." Featuring 50 brand new OCs. Updated Wednesdays and weekends. Please review! EPISODE 30: Aftermath 2
1. Table of Contents

_The Fifty State Roadtrip_

**TABLE OF CONTENTS**

**ACT 1 - July 6th to August 20th**

Episode 1 - Pulchritudinous  
Episode 2 - Frostbite  
Episode 3 - Hot, Steamy Noises  
Episode 4 - Revolution  
Episode 5 - A Minor Setback  
Episode 6 - Risk  
Episode 7 - Gotta Go Fast  
Episode 8 - How to Fabulous  
Episode 9 - The Not Very Civil War  
Episode 10 - Deserted in the Desert  
Episode 11 - I'm on a Boat  
Episode 12 - All of the Plots  
Episode 13 - Fugitives  
Episode 14 - The Show Must Go On

**INTERMISSION 1 - August 24th**

Episode 15 - Aftermath 1

**ACT 2 - August 27th to October 12th**

Episode 16 - The United States of Blaineley  
Episode 17 - Caving In  
Episode 18 - Driver Re-Education  
Episode 19 - Just Plane Terrible  
Episode 20 - The Douche is Back  
Episode 21 - The Last Dance  
Episode 22 - Hypnophobia  
Episode 23 - The September Debates  
Episode 24 - Art from the Heart  
Episode 25 - 2RUDE4U  
Episode 26 - The SAT  
Episode 27 - Gay  
Episode 28 - The Second Civil War  
Episode 29 - Five Teams Will Become Two

**INTERMISSION 2 - October 15th**

Episode 30 - Aftermath 2


	2. Pulchritudinous

**BEGINNING OF ACT 1**

**EPISODE 1: PULCHRITUDINOUS**

_"What's a... fifteen letter word for beautiful?" - Maine_

**Sunday, July 6th, 2014. Washington, DC. 10:01 AM.**

"Alright! Listen up, scrubs!"

Chris McLean stood in the hot summer sun in front of the Washington Monument. Before him, five buses awaited, and in front of that, stood exactly fifty teenagers.

"Each of you represents your home state! You may not tell anyone your name! You have to go by the state that you're from. Capiche?"

A tall guy with black hair nervously looked around. He was sweating profusely. "So... I would go by, what, Michigan?"

Chris grinned, and looked satisfied. "Correct-a-mundo. Fifty states. Twice a week. Twenty-five weeks."

Nobody said anything. Chris glanced around, beady eyes growing suspicious. "...okay. So... that's fine with everyone? By now usually someone blurts out that it isn't fair. Well, alright. Due to our size, we'll be splitting up into teams. Five teams, to be exact, all coordinated by where your state is! When I call your name, go stand in a group with the rest of your team. Alabama!"

A tall, burly, red haired guy with lots of freckles walked over and stood away from the other contestants. Everyone looked apprehensive. "Arkansas!" Chris continued. A shy looking black kid went to stand over with Alabama. "Florida!"

A short, African American girl went to stand over with the other two guys. She had pigtails. "Georgia!" Chris continued, and at that, a brown haired girl with a sporty red t-shirt went to go stand. "Louisiana!"

A black girl with long hair and a t-shirt sporting the name "New Orleans Saints" walked over to stand with her new teammates. "Mississippi!" Chris called, and a girl with long blonde hair and tanned skin walked over to the other kids. "Let's see... Missouri!"

Another African American girl went to stand over with her six other new teammates. She had long sleeves on, but short, stylish hair. Nobody glanced at each other as Chris continued to call out the names. "South Carolina!"

An excited-looking blonde-haired girl with ponytails went to go stand over with her new teammates. She waved over at a brown-haired girl with a similar face, who waved back, although with less enthusiasm. Chris eyed the two for a moment suspiciously, and then called, "Tennessee!", prompting a brown-haired girl with a pink shirt and overalls to join the team. One last name on the list, and "Texas!" was the last to join that team. A tall, brown haired guy with a build like a linebacker joined them. Chris closed his notepad, and began, "You ten will make up the-"

"Hey!" a girl suddenly yelled from the team. "Yes, South Carolina, what is it?" Chris asked, with his head in his hands already. The blonde-haired girl pointed at the crowd of forty other kids, and cried, "You forgot North Carolina. She's my sister."

Chris glanced over at the brown-haired girl wearing a pink shirt and a skeptical face. "Uh... yeah, sorry about that, but, uh... you know, you _are_ in the southern team for a reason. We... can't exactly put a girl from the state of _North_ Carolina in the southern team."

Before South Carolina had a chance to argue, Chris began yelling again. "Okay! You ten are all from the south. I need you guys to pick a name that suits your states. Go."

The ten all just stood there awkwardly. It was about as mentally engaging as you would expect from putting ten random teenagers together in one spot without any prior stimulation. "Uh..." Texas began slowly. "How about Team Touchdown?"

It didn't seem like there were any problems with this name to the rest of the team, as nods were shared around. A few kids from the rest of the states snorted. "Okay... Team... Touchdown it is," Chris muttered, writing down the name in his notepad. "Okay. You guys go over there and stand in the shade under the monument or something. Alright, next team. When I call your name, go stand... I dunno, away from everyone else. Connecticut!"

A scrawny, brown haired kid with glasses went to stand away from the crowd. With a nod of his head, Chris then shouted, "Delaware!", which prompted an intelligent-looking mixed girl with long hair to stand with Connecticut. "Okay... this is gonna take too long if I yell for each of you individually, and we've only got thirty minutes of air-time," Chris slowly began as he checked his watch. "Uh... alright, let's just call the rest out in groups of three or something. Maine, Massachusetts, and New Hampshire!"

Maine, a short girl with pigtails and a light green shirt, went to stand with the others. Massachusetts followed, an average-looking kid with hair the color of sand and a purple sweater vest. Glasses donned his face. Lastly, New Hampshire joined them, a tall girl with long black hair. Chris nodded satisfactorily, and then yelled, "New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania!"

New Jersey wore sunglasses and had a white tank top on underneath a heavy leather jacket. "S'up, Chris?" he cried as he walked forward, extending a hand. Chris backed away slightly, and muttered, "Keep walking."

New York was a tall young man, wearing a dark brown sweater, and even darker brown hair. He eyed his teammates cautiously, as Pennsylvania followed him. She wore braces, partially obscured by her incredibly bushy brown hair. "Last two..." Chris said, looking down the list. "Rhode Island, and Vermont."

A cute-looking girl with red hair bounced forward, with a red t-shirt that read, "Rhode Island", along with a picture of her state. Vermont followed her, who was a pretty average-looking African American young man, sporting a yellow t-shirt. "And, if I'm not mistaken, that's ten people, right?" Chris asked. Nobody responded. "Okay... this is going to be a long year," he sighed. "Figure out a name for your team, so we can get this moving along."

The team shifted around slightly, wary of each other. "Um..." New York began. "Well, think of a good trait. Of, like, America, that could represent all of us."

Massachusetts thought for a moment. "I dunno. Team Freedom? Team Democracy?"

"I like Team Democracy!" Maine piped up, and it seemed agreed upon. "Okay! Team Democracy it is, for the north-easterners," Chris mumbled, writing in his pad. "Alright. You guys go over there. Don't, like, forget about what team you're in or anything. Next up... I'll do it by threes again. Alaska, Arizona, and California!"

Three girls all withdrew themselves from the shrinking crowd. Alaska was a tall, beautiful girl with long blonde hair. She was wearing a heavy white jacket, however. "It's burning up here," she sighed, tugging at the sleeves. "You sure?" Arizona asked her, a red-haired tan girl with a short t-shirt on. "Feels cool up here."

"Yeah, I don't think you could get a tan or anything like that up _here_," a blonde-haired girl wearing sunglasses stated as a matter-of-factly. "Like, this up _north."_

"Yeah, thanks for that, California," Chris said quickly. Under his breath, he added, "Just wait until you host the show three times up in Canada... alright! Next three. Hawaii, Idaho, and Montana."

A tanned guy with black hair walked up. He looked like a native pacific islander. Hawaii. With him, stood Idaho, a young-looking black guy with tall brown hair, and Montana, whose long brown hair seemed to be trying to hide her tiny face. "You guys go join the other three," Chris explained when they just stood there. "Alright. Four more, and then we're done with this team. Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington!"

A girl with short red hair walked up. She must be Nevada. With her, stood three guys. New Mexico was a buff-looking, but friendly dude with a visor and sunglasses underneath short, cropped blonde hair. At his side was Oregon, a guy with sandy-colored hair and a short, stylish purple t-shirt. He looked withdrawn and shy, but seemed fit. "Hi," he muttered somewhat unnecessarily. And lastly was Washington. He had somewhat shaggy brown hair and glasses, but a face that seemed to analyze everything around him. He stood at Oregon's side. "You ten make up the Pacific team!" Chris announced. "Figure out a name that sounds good. I'll be right here."

"Yo, hey guys!" New Mexico suddenly yelled, extending a hand towards Idaho, who shook it cautiously. "M'name's... uh, 'New Mexico'. I was thinkin'... what if we had a name, like, Victory, or somethin'?"

"Uh, yeah, we've already had a team with that na-" Chris began, only to be cut off by praises of New Mexico's excellent idea. "Okay! Team Victory it is... again," Chris muttered, angrily scribbling in his notepad. "You ten, go stand over there. In the meantime... next team. When I call your name step forward yadda-yadda-yadda. Colorado, Iowa, and Kansas."

Three guys stepped forward. Colorado seemed like a strong, intelligent brown-haired guy. Iowa wore glasses, and was pretty thin. Kansas, a big black dude, wore overalls over a dark-green shirt. Chris nodded. "Let's get this show on the road. Minnesota and Nebraska, go join 'em."

Minnesota was a blonde-haired girl with a heavy jacket on, while Nebraska looked like he would rather be anywhere else right now. His black hair matched his dark grey t-shirt, which read in childish font, "Go get 'em, tiger!" A few kids smirked at it. Chris eyed the two new contestants carefully, and then shouted, "North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota!"

North Dakota and South Dakota walked closely together. While North Dakota's hair was long, black, and beautiful, there was something about her face that seemed malicious. South Dakota's hair was short, and she wore a more kind expression. "I assume you two are sisters?" Chris asked when they approached. He only got a stiff nod from North Dakota. Following in their wake was Oklahoma, a short-haired girl with braces, overalls, and an eager, yet off-putting smile. "Okay..." Chris muttered, flipping through the pages. "Last up are Utah and Wyoming. Come on out."

Two guys walked forward carefully towards their new teammates. "Jesus, they're not going to bite," Chris criticized. "They're your teammates, for crying out loud. You'll have to spend the better part of a year with them. Get cozy."

Wyoming said nothing. He was scrawny African-American dude, with an orange t-shirt. Utah glanced around nervously, and said nothing. He was wearing short little shorts. Chris sighed. "Okay. Terrific leadership already. Figure out a name, and we can-"

"Team Dakota," a voice suddenly rang out. A lone eyebrow crept up Chris's face. "Uh, sorry?"

North Dakota stepped forward. "You want us to have a name that shows off our good qualities, right?"

"Um. Yeah, but-"

"Then Team Dakota."

There was a brief silence, but nobody from the team seemed willing to argue. "Okay! Team Dakota it is, then," Chris decided with a smug grin. "Finally. Last team. Y'know, I think I regret splitting everyone up into five teams like this... when I call your name, go stand over there... Illinois, Indiana, and Kentucky."

Illinois was a tall, gangly black kid with round glasses that made him look like Harry Potter or something. Beside him, stood Indiana, a girl with dark red hair who didn't seem to care too much for all of this. She was attractive, though. Kentucky, however, stood awkwardly with the other two. He wore a light blue t-shirt, and shorts that were much too short for someone like him. "What's happenin', yo?" he asked Chris, who eyed him suspiciously.

There was a brief silence for about three full seconds.

"Okay! Next up is Maryland, Michigan, and... North Carolina."

Maryland, a young-looking black girl with her hair in a bun, stood with her teammates. Michigan did the same. He was the same guy who had spoken out earlier. North Carolina seemed slightly distraught at being separated by her sister, but obeyed. Chris nodded satisfactorily, and finally shouted, "Ohio, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wisconsin! God, I hate lists so much now."

Ohio seemed like a fairly average young dude, and stood with the others. Virginia was a large black girl, but possessed a face that seemed hardened with maturity and intelligence. West Virginia was the opposite, a red haired kid who just looked excited to be there. Wisconsin stood with them, an easy-going looking guy with a thin sweater on. "Hi!" West Virginia said quickly, extending a hand to Wisconsin, who shook it politely. "I'm West Virginia! And you... must be Virginia!"

He had immediately turned on the girl beside him, who stepped back instinctively. "Uh," she said slowly. "Do I know you?"

West Virginia shook his head quickly. "Oh, no! No. I looked you up online, though, right when I found out you were gonna be my partner! I didn't know you lived in Richmond! _HEH_! I've been there before!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_1_mp3**

"I'm really not into winning that much! I'm really not! Between you and me, I'm just in it for the girls. My mom told me you have to be friendly and persistent! That gets you the chicks! _HEH_! Don't you worry, I'm gettin' there!"

West Virginia

**10:45 AM.**  


Virginia looked uncomfortable, and glanced over at Chris, who got the message. "Figure out a team name, kids!" Chris shouted. "I'm gonna focus on never looking at a list ever again in my life."

"What kind of name should we have?" Michigan asked, keen to not be left out of any conversation. Virginia thought for a moment, but was cut off by Kentucky shouting, "We could be Team Onion! Because of layers... and... and, it's like... it's like, we've got the outer layers, with, with Maryland, and West Virginia, and you got yer middle layers, with Virginia, and Indiana, and Michi-"

"What are you talking about?" Ohio asked bluntly. Kentucky stared at him. "What? Team Onion! Because, it's... it's symbolic. For layers."

"Okay, and what are the layers supposed to represent?" Virginia asked immediately.

"How attractive teammates are."

"Okay..." Michigan said, shaking his head slowly. "Yeah, we're not going to do that. At all. Any other ideas?"

"And why am I on the outer layer?!" West Virginia suddenly yelled.

"Uh... how about... Team... America?" Virginia quickly suggested. "So, you know, it seems like we're the _true_ team. Or somethin'. I dunno."

Ohio was nodding slowly. "That's... actually a pretty good idea. Okay. All in favor of Team America?"

Everyone except Kentucky raised their hands. "Finally," Chris mumbled, writing into his pad. "Team America it is, then."

He closed his notebook, and then stood to address the five teams. "Okay! These are your teammates! Each team gets their own bus. There are five bunk beds on that thing. In the meantime... we've got our first challenge to do."

Everyone stood silently in their respective teams, listening intently to Chris. "We're gonna do a relay race!" Chris announced. "It's a good first episode thing. So my producers tell me. Everyone get in an order that you like, and we can start. You need to run around the Washington Monument once, and pass the peg to the next person in line. First team to get through everyone wins. Alright?"

While some people looked terrified at the prospect of their team depending on them, others appeared confident. The camera crews got into place. Most of them looked like college interns. "Everyone ready?" Chris shouted, holding up a magnum towards the sky. "On a count of three, and then I fire a blank. One. Two. Three-"

The gun fired, and one person from each team took off. The most eager teammates, to be blunt. Texas from Team Touchdown, New Jersey from Team Democracy, New Mexico from Team Victory, Oklahoma from Team Dakota, and West Virginia from Team America. Instantly, West Virginia and Oklahoma fell behind the other three runners. "Come on!" Wisconsin yelled at West Virginia. "You've got this!"

Texas took the lead, sprinting at a lightning pace around the tall obelisk. Alabama stood ready to receive the peg, and took off. New Jersey, almost collapsing with exhaustion, handed off his peg to Delaware. "You've.. you've got this!" he shouted in a weak attempt at support.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_2_mp3**

"I think I did my part. I mean, me getting second is good enough. It's not like we lost. I mean... we didn't exactly get first. Or second. Or third... but it's not like we _lost_. Hey, I _did my part_."

New Jersey

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, and Vermont.

**Team Victory** - Alaska, Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, Utah, and Wyoming.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wisconsin.

**10:56 AM.**

The teams were in a close tie, but Team Victory was in the lead as Washington passed the peg to Montana, nearly worn out. Team Dakota, however, was falling behind. "Come on! Hurry it _up_!" North Dakota screamed. South Dakota crossed her arms, and muttered, "He's not going fast enough."

Wyoming, from Team Dakota, was running as fast as possible around the monument, but not fast enough. Soon, he was overtaken by Ohio. When he arrived, he passed the peg to Minnesota, who took off. "What's your deal?" North Dakota yelled. "We were in third, and now we're dead last."

He didn't say anything, but was just doubled over, panting. North Dakota threw her arms up towards the sky, and cried, "Ugh. You'd better hope Minnesota can run."

It turns out, she could. She speedily passed Maryland _and_ Massachusetts, to Team Dakota's delight.

"Come on! _Run_!" New York cried, urging on Massachusetts, who, upon his arrival, skillfully tossed his peg to Connecticut. "We've got this..." New York said as though to himself. "We can do this. Only if Connecticut pulls us ahead... oh, come on..."

Connecticut was being overtaken by Oregon, who seemed to be trying his heart out there. A few moments later, and Connecticut passed on the peg to New York, the last member of their team to run. Team Touchdown had already finished, and once Oregon got through, Team Victory would be, too. New York took off, sprinting, as South Dakota gave the peg to North Dakota from Team Dakota. "It's all on you!" she yelled. They were in third place.

However, they were falling behind. North Dakota wasn't nearly as physically adept as her other teammates, as she was passed by North Carolina, Team America's final player. Behind her, New York was catching up. "No!" she screamed, as New York ran ahead, finally arriving at his team, putting them in fourth. "What?" Colorado from Team Dakota yelled. "We were in third! Come _on_!"

"Shut up!" North Dakota yelled, throwing the peg onto the ground. "Just shut up, right now. Ugh. We lost, didn't we?"

"Yep!" announced a triumphant Chris. "Dead last, actually. Team Touchdown! You got in first! Team Victory's second, Team America's third, and Team Democracy is fourth! Hope you like voting, Team Dakota, because someone's getting booted. Hah! I wonder how embarrassing it's gonna be to be kicked off the show first. Anyways! Into the buses, everyone! We'll do the voting at a rest stop or something."

**3:14 PM.**

"Okay..." North Dakota said to herself, pacing the rumbling bus as it headed towards a rest stop on the outskirts of DC. "Okay. You're with me, An... er, 'South Dakota'. Right? Remember, we're going to the top two, and we split the prize money."

Her sister nodded. North Dakota seemed satisfied. "Okay. Without me doing anything... chances are, they might vote for me. And then this team'll be doomed, and you'll be doomed, and then I don't get any money. We need to get people to support us. Who _is_ on this team, anyways?"

South Dakota glanced up at a chart on the wall of the vibrating bus. "Um... 'Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Minnesota-'"

"Good, Minnesota," North Dakota said, nodding. "She ran fast, she's good to keep. I'll talk to her. Who else?"

"'Nebraska, Oklahoma-'"

"Oklahoma's the nerdy girl, right? The one with the dumb overalls?"

"I think so."

"Good, we can take her. I'll bet she'd love an alliance or something. As for the guys... they don't look like they've got any bones. We shouldn't have to worry. Okay. Now we need a scapegoat to take all the votes. Who did poorly this round? Like, the worst out of everyone. And don't you dare say me."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_3_mp3**

"I know how people think. See, after today, whatever I messed up on is gonna be old news. Who cares what I did last week, when there's things happening right now? People are so stupid. They think present-tense. They forget what happened."

North Dakota

**7:00 PM.**

Ten teenagers stood around Chris in front of a gas station. "Okay!" he announced. "We're kind of... running on a tight budget, here, so I'm just gonna toss snacks to people who didn't get voted off. Kind of like the marshmallows. And the awards. Except we can't afford awards, and they're all sold out of marshmallows. I'll specifically tell you how many people voted for you, too. Kind of like a neat twist. I'm not sure yet. We're 'testing the waters', as my producer likes to put it. Anyways. Here goes. Colorado, you get some Cheetos. Nobody voted for you, brother."

Colorado caught the bag. "Iowa! Nobody voted for you, man. I've got some Oreo's right here."

"Kansas! You're good, dude. No votes. I think I've got some... a bag of chips. Right here, dude."

"Minnesota. Nice job out there. No votes. Here's a bag for you."

"Oklahoma! Here you go. No votes."

"South Dakota, you too. You get a bag. Nobody voted for you. You can get 'Los Pollos Tortilla Chips'."

"Utah! Here you go, man. Bag for you. No votes."

He eyed the three remaining contestants. North Dakota, Nebraska, and Wyoming. "The rest of you got at least one vote. Let's see if I can ramp up the 'drama' or whatever by standing still for a few moments and not saying anything. We'll add suspenseful music later or something."

...

"Nebraska. Just kidding with you, dude. I've got a Gatorade for you right here. You did get one vote, though."

It was just between North Dakota and Wyoming now. Wyoming hung his head in shame, while North Dakota just seemed annoyed at getting any votes at all.

A few more seconds passed as Chris held only one bag of Funyuns. "And... this bag goes to..."

...

"North Dakota! You got three votes. Here you go!"

Wyoming's shoulders drooped, as he stood up. Chris shrugged. "Sorry, dude. No bags left. You got like six votes, man. Your cab's waiting for you."

A yellow taxi sat beside the gas station. Chris turned around and clapped his hands together. "Alright!" he announced. "We're going on a roadtrip. Who's ready?"

Nobody in Team Dakota answered. North Dakota was busy glaring at everyone, trying to decipher who'd voted for her. "Okay, then..." Chris said, letting his arms drop. "Well, get on the bus. Since that was... Wyoming who left... we're now scheduled to be in Yellowstone National Park by Wednesday. We've got a long drive ahead of us."

**8:23 PM.**

Team Democracy's bus rumbled along. Massachusetts had already unpacked his bag, and was playing computer games on his laptop. Connecticut sat twiddling his thumbs as Virginia's countryside rushed past. Maine and Rhode Island were working together on a crossword puzzle. Every few seconds, Connecticut glanced over at Rhode Island. Massachusetts noticed this, and smirked. "Dude, you haven't got a chance," he muttered, not even looking up. Connecticut's glare flew over to Massachusetts. "What? I - no, I wasn't - what are you even talking about? I... shut up. Man, dude."

Massachusetts grinned, typing out something in his game. "Nah, don't worry, you can trust me."

"What's a... fifteen letter word for beautiful?" Maine suddenly asked the two guys. Everyone else was in their bunks. "I... uh..." Connecticut stammered. "Hmmm," Massachusetts wondered. "That's a hard one."

"The second letter's a U, and the last letter's an S..." Rhode Island added.

"Try... 'pulchritudinous' or something," Massachusetts suggested without missing a beat. Connecticut looked disgusted. "Ew, what does that mean?"

"It means beautiful, from what I know. My English teacher loved that word. Does that fit?"

For a few moments, Rhode Island was just counting out the letters with Maine. "That... that fits," she admitted, astounded. "I think that's it. That's a long word."

Connecticut seemed impressed by Massachusetts now.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_4_mp3**

"Okay. I'm not too good with girls. Like... I can't talk right. Not like I can with guys, you know? I can talk to a guy, they're my friend, but girls... I just can't concentrate. Damn. Massachusetts knows his stuff. How come he can talk like that? I need to get him to help me or something. And if we lose a challenge, I'll have someone to back me up in voting. Alright. I got this."

Connecticut

**ELIMINATED:** Wyoming.


	3. Frostbite

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, and Vermont.

**Team Victory** - Alaska, Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wisconsin.

**EPISODE 2: FROSTBITE**

_"Like I said. I can think. I'm not smart." - Washington_

**Wednesday, July 9th, 2014. Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming. 7:10 AM.**

Five heavy charter buses lugged their way throughout the mountains of Wyoming. Forty-nine teenagers sat within them, all anxiously awaiting the next challenge after about three days of slow driving.

"I am so, so, so utterly bored," Alabama moaned in Team Touchdown's bus. Louisiana glanced over at him. "I bet we could'a been here like yesterday," she complained. "They wanna get here exactly on Wednesday just to stay on schedule or whatever."

Alabama tossed a baseball up in the air, and caught it. The buses were sizely monsters. In the front was the living areas. The middle housed the bedrooms, all bunkbeds, and in the very back was the bathroom, currently taken up by Tennessee and Georgia doing their makeup. Texas leaned against the wall, reading a Lacrosse magazine. "I dunno, I'm pretty glad to be with some of you guys compared to those eggheads we saw," Texas snorted. "Dudes with tight shorts and no bones. Y'know, y'all, I bet all these challenges are gonna be physical. Jumpin' through hoops an' stuff. Hey, Alabama, where you from?"

Alabama looked up from the couch. "Mobile. I call it the armpit of the South."

Texas was nodding his head, laughing. "Haha. Nice. I'm from Houston, myself. And... judging from that t-shirt you're still wearing, Louisiana, I'd say you're from N'awlins, am I right?"

She nodded, and deadpanned, "Gulf Coast. Woo hoo." The bus was silent for a few moments as Texas glanced around. "Where's that third dude?" Texas suddenly asked. "Arkansas. The black guy. There's only three of us guys in this team. Where is he?"

Alabama shrugged. "Man, y'all, I saw him readin' a book or somethin'. He kinda shooed me away. Dude's bunkin' with a chick. Florida, I think."

Texas nodded slowly and solemnly. From the front of the bus, the driver's radio suddenly crackled. "ETA five minutes!" a familiar voice cried out. "We'll get them all together and then start it off. This is Chris: out!"

**7:31 AM.**

Five buses slowly came to a stop in the middle of a valley. Tall mountain peaks rose all around, lit by the bright morning sun. Contestants squinted as they climbed out; the only stops the buses had made over the past three days were at various convenience stores along the way. Chris was shining his pearly whites at the contestants. "Have a good few days?" he asked cockily. "Today, we're doing something a little special. Welcome to Yellowstone National Park."

Nobody did anything. A few people yawned rather loudly. It seemed a few people had just woken up. New Jersey glanced around sleepily, and then performed an over-exaggerated slow-clap for Chris. Chris held his hand up haltingly. "Yeah, thanks," he said, clearly annoyed. "All of you guys are doing an obstacle course. The kind folks over at the 'Cheyenne Fun House Company' were kind enough to sponsor us with some obstacle courses! No, you won't be jumping over geysers or anything like that. Alright? I figure we can just... you know. Hop right to it."

There was only silence. Chris held his head in his hands for a moment, and then spoke. "You know, you guys were a lot more feisty in your audition videos. Like... like this kid. Idaho."

Idaho suddenly stepped back. "This kid," Chris yelled to the mute teenagers, "video-taped himself skateboarding through a half-pipe and drinking a Pepsi. We get him here and he hasn't spoken once! It kind of feels like you kids were lying to us in your audition videos! To make yourselves look good!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_5_mp3**

"Alright, to my defense? My brother was the skateboarder in that video. I was just filming. Dude didn't even _want_ to be on TV, so I used it. Sorry if that, uh, disappoints some of you guys."

Idaho

**7:42 AM.**

A few people looked indignant, but Chris was keen to get the show moving on. "Alright, well, don't be nervous from talking, alright?" he announced. "I know you guys barely know each other, but... Jesus. A few cries of, 'That's not in the contract I signed!' or 'You're heartless!' would be nice. Okay..."

It seemed like Chris just needed to let that out. He stood there for a moment or two, and then flashed his famous television smile. "Alright! First team to reach the end of the obstacle course wins. Last team loses!"

Something clicked into place in Hawaii's mind at that moment. "Hey!" he yelled. "Since Team Dakota's only got nine people, they'll get through it faster than the rest of us!"

Chris only shrugged. "Meh. It'll balance out the teams more or something. Alright! Get into positions. One person at a time."

The teams lined up. Alaska was still wearing her heavy coat, and panting. Nevada glanced at her. "Are you alright?" she asked, and continued, "It's not _that_ hot up here. Just wait until we get to _my_ state, heh."

Ahead, a huge spawl of metal parts and fixtures awaited. It all looked fairly dangerous, and ill-suited for a bunch of sixteen-year-olds, but Chris evidently did not care, as he wore his sly little grin. "Ready?" he cried, holding the gun up that shot blanks. "Set! Go-"

The gun cracked, and people from each team sped off towards the obstacle course. Initially, there was a lot of shoving and pushing - Maryland was knocked over into the dirt by Utah on accident - but soon the teams were running in single-file line, with Alabama in the front and Maryland in the last. "Go! You can do it!" Virginia cheered, waving at Maryland as she ran off.

**8:12 AM.**

Montana, running for Team Victory, hopped over a spinning wooden log in the middle of the track. Ahead, far worse contraptions awaited. She jumped to the side of a swinging metal bar, and nearly tripped on a fallen pine tree that looked like it wasn't even part of the obstacle course. Behind her, Utah was catching up menacingly. She jumped through a set of wooden beams, and began climbing a rope ladder. Alabama had already reached the top, and pressed a button, signaling the time for the next member of Team Touchdown to begin. At last, she reached the top, and slammed her fist on the button.

**8:16 AM.**

"Alaska! That's you!" Washington yelled, waving his arm frantically for Alaska to go forwards. "Agh!" she cried, stumbling. "I can't. It's... ah... it's too hot. I can't breathe. I can't breathe! Agh! How can you _stand_ this?"

Washington groaned, and ran forward. "I'll go on ahead!" he announced to his teammates, adjusting his glasses. "Someone get her some water or something!"

**8:33 AM.**

Kansas, of Team Dakota, hurriedly pressed the button at the top of the rope ladder, joining the dozen other contestants who'd already arrived. He waved at his team about a hundred yards away to send another person into the course, and collapsed. Beside him, stood Washington, who anxiously paced the dirt floor. "C'mon... c'mon..." he muttered. It had been about four minutes since he pressed the button. Lo and behold, California appeared from a tangle of wires, the final obstacle, and began climbing the rope ladder with a great deal of difficulty. "Where were you?" Washington asked. She whined, and climbed up to join him. After she pressed the button, she explained, "Alaska didn't want to come. She's still down there. They might send her now. I don't know. Is my hair messed up?"

"I - what? Oh, no, it looks fine," he lied, glancing at the dirt-crusted golden locks. "Alaska needs to get here soon, though... Team Touchdown's already halfway done."

"Oh... are you _sure_ my hair isn't messed up?"

**8:52 AM.**

Massachusetts waved at New York, about a hundred yards ahead, who had just climbed the rope ladder and pressed the button. "Go!" he ushered Pennsylvania, who nodded and quickly tied her bushy hair into an even bushier ponytail. She disappeared into the twisted metal labyrinth, and was seen no more. Massachusetts paced a little bit; their team was falling behind again. It was only by a small margin that they hadn't cocked up on last week's challenge. Was it likely that they would screw up on this week's?

Minutes later, Pennsylvania was already climbing up the rope ladder. Massachusetts cheered, and at the sound of the button, ran into the mess. Beside the ever-shrinking Team Democracy, however, was Alaska, being coaxed by Arizona and New Mexico.

Chris approached the three. "What's wrong with her?" he asked, slightly disgusted. "I dunno! She's too hot or somethin'!" New Mexico proclaimed, waving his visor to generate a breeze for Alaska. "I mean, she _is_... hot... but, like, temperature-wise. Um. Yeah. Yo, can we get some more water here?"

Their show's host shrugged, and smiled. "Nah. We're saving it for the interns. The interns, like you, are unpaid, but unlike you, are essential to the show's technical operation."

With that, he walked off, to Arizona's indignation. "Agh! She might have heat stroke or something. I... what was that?"

The button was clearly being pressed over and over again by Oregon. He waved frantically at them. "Aw, shiz, I gotta go," New Mexico yelped. "Yo, get her cooled down! We might have a chance at winning this!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_6_mp3**

"I don't think it was Alaska's fault. Girl's got issues! I can respect that. Like, with heat an' stuff. Back in ABQ, sometimes the pavement would literally feel like you're walkin' on hot coals. But... it was cool up in Yellowstone. At least, I thought it was."

New Mexico

**8:59 AM.**

"Done!" Minnesota cried, pressing down the button one last time for Team Dakota. They were finished, and the first team to do so. Moments later, and South Carolina ascended the ladder, joining her sister from Team America and completing the course for Team Touchdown. A few more minutes, and Illinois would arrive, finishing off Team America.

"Ugh!" New York cried, head in his hands. "We can't be competing for last like this again."

Connecticut was thoughtfully scratching his head. "No, no, no. Once Maine gets here, we're done. Team Victory's still got three more people left. We've got this."

New Mexico's head suddenly popped up at the top of the rope climb. Washington saw, and immediately sprung into action, slamming his hand down on the button. He pressed again, and again, but the two figures at the beginning didn't move. "It's Alaska, isn't it?" he asked, heart sinking. "Yup," New Mexico said, grunting as he pulled himself up. His shades almost fell off. "Arizona stayed behind with her. I'm not sure if they'll... oh, here's someone."

Maine and Illinois came flying out of the obstacles, and began attacking the rope climb up. Maine climbed at lightning speeds, and pressed the button, putting Team Democracy in third. Belated cheers were in the air, as Illinois defeatedly pressed the button for Team America, putting them in fourth.

"Yo!" Chris yelled, approaching. "What's the deal, Victory? You've got two contestants left behind. It's the chopping block for you guys tonight."

Montana moaned, considering that she was the second person to get up there in the first place. "Okay!" Chris said, clapping his hands together. "Well, Team Victory, I'll be seeing you guys at the rest stop tonight! The rest of you, get on your buses. We gotta figure out where we're going this weekend... and I have a good feeling that it'll be... somewhere up _north_."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_7_mp3**

"I don't know what happened. I collapsed. It's too hot down here. I mean, I'm just so accustomed to it being daytime all day long during July, and cooler temperatures. I've lived in Alaska my whole life. I just... ugh. I wanted to get out of a small town, go see the real America. Ha. Well, I got what I wanted. The real America? It sucks."

Alaska

**4:43 PM.**

Five buses rumbled towards the nearest rest stop. Washington paced the floor of Team Victory's bus, thinking deeply. Oregon was watching him curiously. "What do you think?" he asked in a slightly shy voice. Washington stopped. "You know how when you've got frostbite? How the doctors have to cut off your limb?"

"Um. Ew. Yeah. Why?"

"If... Alaska can't handle being in the heat anywhere, she may end up having to be kicked off. Think about what happens when we end up having to go to a place like... like Florida or something."

Oregon looked let down at this, but proclaimed, "Yeah... I guess. I can't really think of anybody else who did a bad job. Arizona was nice by staying behind to help her."

"Gotta agree," Idaho announced, walking into the main living area of the bus. Washington glanced up at him, and nodded, stating, "I mean, she's probably really good at a bunch of things. But you saw her back in DC. She couldn't stand the heat. And I know where she's coming from. I get hot too, sometimes. It gets cold up in Seattle. But... I don't almost get heat-stroke like her. And besides, I think most people are gonna vote for her anyways, like it or not."

Montana, unnoticed up until this point, was reading an Outdoors magazine, and agreed. "I'm with you guys," she mused, flipping the pages nonchalantly. "I was the second person up on that platform, and we ended up dead last. I say we boot her."

Nobody really said anything after that, as it seemed most were in agreement.

**7:02 PM.**

"When I call your name, you get a snack. Today, they only had Doritos, but there's all sorts of flavors. Two kinds, actually. You'll love 'em. California!"

A bag of chips sailed over her head, as she extended manicured hands to grasp at the air. "Idaho, Montana, and New Mexico!"

Three bags of Doritos went flying. One of them landed on top of the bus. Chris just seemed to be flinging them now. "Oregon... and... Washington! Everyone I just called got zero votes. Nice job."

Only Nevada, Alaska, Arizona, and Hawaii remained. Chris stared at them meaningfully. "All of you guys got at least one vote. When I call your name... you get chips! Again, specifically Doritos this time. And I tell you how many voted for you. Hawaii. One vote, brother. What happened?"

A bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos landed into his arms casually. He shrugged, and glanced around at everyone, wondering who it was. Chris threw another bag of Doritos at Nevada, which landed on her chest. She grabbed at it gratefully. "One vote, Nevada!" Chris called in a sing-song voice. He then looked at the now chip-less Alaska and Arizona, who glanced at each other fearfully.

"Boy, I wonder who it'll be!" Chris said loudly, smiling, clearly using these teenager's hopes for his own advantage. He waited a while, just waving a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos like a conductor's baton.

"Is this where the music comes in?" Washington deadpanned as he squinted through his glasses. "Shush!" Chris hushed. "The producers love the pauses. Annnd... Arizona. Two votes for you, darling."

Arizona let the bag fall to the ground. "That's not fair!" she yelled, pointing at Alaska who'd already stood up. "She can't help being in the heat! She's lived in... in almost sub-zero temperatures her whole life!"

"It's not _that_ cold all the time, Arizona," Alaska said dully, picking up her bag. "But I should've just expected as much from... a team like this." Oregon hung his head in shame. A few of the team members looked guilty. "Anyways, see you guys later!" Alaska yelled, walking towards the waiting taxi. "Don't you wanna know how many people voted for you?" Chris called after her, arms devoid of chips.

"I can do the math!" she yelled back. "I'm not stupid. Six votes. Thanks again for the ride."

"Well, alright, then," Chris muttered, shrugging. "Looks like we _are_ going north. Sounds like... a bucket of fun, huh? I get to show you guys the, um, traditional Canadian countryside on the way there, yeah? It's a good time."

The now nine contestants in Team Victory shuffled their way to the bus for departure.

**10:25 PM.**

Washington was staring at the Montanan countryside fly by in the night. Stars littered the sky, as headlights rushed by every few seconds. Hawaii cautiously joined him. "You alright, brother?" he asked tentatively. Washington glanced, and nodded stiffly. "Um. Yeah."

Hawaii nodded, and looked outside. "Looks nice. The countryside, I mean," he hurriedly and unnecessarily added. Washington gave him a glance. "You were the one who voted for Nevada, weren't you?"

"Nah," Hawaii responded. "I went for Arizona. She could've gotten Alaska up and running again. Too gentle. I figured it didn't count anyways, since Alaska was doomed."

Washington nodded at that. Hawaii was watching him closely. "You look determined," he observed.

"Yeah, well, Hitler was determined, too. I don't see that as a good trait."

"But you're smart."

Washington laughed, and sat down on the couch in the rumbling bus. "Ha. Yeah, I'm not smart, no. I can think, sort of, but I'm not, like, textbook smart."

"Ohhh, gotcha, bro. You're, like, not book-smart... but you're street-smart! Haha! Respect, bro!"

"Uh. No... no, not like that."

Washington glanced over at the tiny kitchen. Oregon was making a sandwich, humming a bouncy tune as he laid out the ham and cheese.

Washington opened his mouth for a moment, and then spoke. "I... I... I know how people _think_. I can see it. I know how people react to things, and what they think about other people. I mean, not immediately, I have to know them first, but it doesn't take... doesn't take long. Like, Oregon, there," Washington said, lowering his voice to a whisper. "He's... he's hiding something, I think. I'm not sure yet. This is just speculation. Best if you don't press him about it."

Hawaii seemed confused. "Okay, so... tell me. What, hypothetically, would happen if I asked out California? I mean, damn, dude, you gotta admit, she's smoking hot, bro."

Washington winced slightly. "I figure she'd do the stereotypical thing of denying you immediately... and then, it'd depend on if she was willing to go for Idaho or New Mexico. If not, then she'd act like she hates you, but secretly likes you."

Hawaii's eyes were wide. "Man! Okay, okay, thanks for that, dude. I... didn't think it was a lost cause. Jeez. You are smart."

"Like I said. I can think. I'm not smart."

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming and Alaska.


	4. Hot, Steamy Noises

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, and Vermont.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wisconsin.

**EPISODE 3: HOT, STEAMY NOISES**

_"You're interested in her, aren't you?" - Massachusetts_

**Saturday, July 12th, 2014. Alaskan Range, Alaska. 12:40 AM.**

Team America's bus, along with four others, rattled along the curvy road up the mountains of Alaska. Most of its occupants were still asleep.

Ohio groaned, and raised his head. He'd accidentaly fallen asleep on the couch again. He squinted out the window of the shaking bus, and squinted. The dim sun was on the northern horizon, creating a hazy orange hue over the land. "Man..." he mumbled. "What time is it?"

Indiana, who was working on a Sudoku puzzle up until that point, noticed that Ohio had stirred. She had remained quiet for most of her time on the show so far. "Oh, you're awake," she deadpanned with a bored expression. "I dunno. It's like midnight or something. Go back to bed."

Ohio was now just confused. "Huh?" he asked, looking around. "But the sun's up. It's gotta be at least-"

"Nope, she's right!"

West Virginia came bouncing into the room. "It's 12:42 AM, AKST! Since we're in Alaska now, the sun's up all the time during summer! _HEH_! Party all day long, am I right? _HEHEHEH_!"

Ohio looked uncomfortable, and elected to just lie down for a few more hours, when Virginia walked into the room, wearing a nightgown and scratching her back. "Hey," she asked sleepily, "anyone see my toothbrush around anywhere?"

West Virginia revolved on the spot to face Virginia with an off-putting smile. "Oh, right here!" he exclaimed, and unveiled the bristled utensil from somewhere in the depths of his pants. "I just wanted to make sure it was safe while you were asleep, since we're partners and all. _HEH!_ Here you go!"

Virginia stepped back from West Virginia, and stared at the toothbrush uncomfortably. "Uhhh..." she slowly began, clearly unnerved. "Okay... West Virginia? You need to cool it, string bean."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_8_mp3**

"Look, I ain't got nothin' on the little white ginger. But seriously? That's just too far. He thinks I'm his partner or somethin', just cause our states are like right by each other. I mean... I get it, he can't get _enough_ of big ol' Virginia, but... that's creepy."

Virginia

**12:43 AM.**

For a few moments, everyone stood around not saying much, staring at West Virginia, whose shoulders began to slump. "Um..." Ohio began, glancing at Viginia's uncomfort. "West Virginia... why don't you go... somewhere... away... er, no, I think Arkansas needs your help. I hear him calling you. He needs help putting his socks on or something."

West Virginia's confused expression gave way to bright happiness as he understood. "Oh, well, okay then!" he exclaimed. "Anything for a teammate! Like they say, a friend in need is a _friend indeed_!"

The redhead waltzed out of the room, allowing Virginia to finally breathe out. "Wow," Indiana remarked in a flat tone, "I literally _can't even_ with you guys right now."

"Thanks," Virginia mumbled to Ohio, who waved his hand sleepily. "Don't sweat it," he responded, rubbing his eyes. "Dudes like him just need to chill. He's kind of... um. Stalkerish."

Virginia chuckled, as Ohio laid down on the couch once more, drifting back into a much-needed sleep.

**5:15 AM.**

Five AM. Team Touchdown's bus rumbled its way up the Alaskan mountain side. "Yo!" Texas yelled to a drowsy Alabama. "I'm tellin' y'all! It's been sunny out there for _hours_, and it's like five AM!"

Alabama shook his head, and scoffed. "Nah, dude. Can't be that early. Sun's too high. Your clock's wrong."

"All our clocks are wrong!" Texas exclaimed. "We're in Canada or somethin'. Oh, man, dude, I bet we're in, uh, Quebec. Any of y'all know how to speak French?"

Upon hearing this, Florida, who was sitting on the couch beside Arkansas, rolled her eyes, and resumed working on her crossword puzzle.

"Yo, Tex! If you breathe on the window like _this_, little ice crystals pop up!"

"No way, Al. I don't believe it. No way. There's no wa - OH MY GAWD"

Florida leaned closer to Arkansas, and whispered, "Oh, my. They already have nicknames for each other. I think we should expect a happy announcement by the end of the week."

Arkansas suddenly burst into a fit of coughing, which he covered up with his book. "Sorry!" he mumbled, eyes watering. "Sorry. Ignore me, um... 'Big Al',"

The two guys ignored their immobile teammates, and continued in their fascination with the window, making hot, steamy noises on the glass and laughing hysterically at the frigid results. "Dude, there's so much snow out there!" Texas proclaimed, staring out the window of the moving bus. Arkansas, upon hearing this, looked up and out of the window to take a look. There was less than an inch, and it appeared to be melting. He resumed reading. "Wow..." Alabama whispered, looking out. "It's like... it's like a winter _wonderland_."

**9:11 AM.**

"_Contestants_!" a familiar voice cried, amplified by a bullhorn. Five buses all rested on the peak of a snow-capped mountain, in front of forty-eight teenagers. Their sadistic, yet amiable host wore his bright, probably trademarked smile, and gestured at the slope in front of them. "Who wants to go skiing?"

Colorado's ears perked up almost instantaneously. "Interns!" Chris yelled through the bullhorn, prompting several college-aged interns to walk forward, carrying many sets of skis. "Bring out... the skis! Okay, contestants. Now, as a show of hands, how many of you have gone skiing before?"

About twelve people raised their hands shakily. Most of them were from Team Dakota and Team Democracy. Absolutely nobody raised their hand from Team Touchdown. "Perfect!" Chris said, smiling maliciously. "I want each one of you to make it down this slope on skis! All you gotta do is make it to the bottom without falling. No second tries, okay? You get one point for trying... and three points for making it to the bottom. No points if you don't try."

A few people looked confident, but for the most part, everyone appeared terrified. It was clear that few people actually knew how to ski. "Well, get together!" Chris yelled, sitting down comfortably in a lawn chair. "Figure out what order you want and strap in. I'll be waiting riiight _here_."

"Okay!" North Dakota yelled, the first person out of any of the teams to take action. "Alright, I want a show of hands again! How many of _you_ know how to ski?"

Minnesota, Utah, and Colorado raised their hands. South Dakota suddenly remembered something. "Oooh!" she said. "Um, 'North Dakota', remember that ski trip we went to last Thanksgiving?"

A stiff nod was received from North Dakota. "Yes. I remember the ambulances. So, we have these guys go first so we can find out if it's safe or not. These twigs," she said, waving her hand towards Kansas, Nebraska, and Iowa, "they can go after them. Alright?"

There were a few hurried nods from the members of Team Dakota. Everyone was too terrified to speak out. North Dakota looked satisfied. "Good. They can show you how to strap in or whatever."

**9:41 AM.**

Team Touchdown, however, was having a little more trouble. Nobody seemed to know how to wear their skis except Alabama, who claimed to have been "water skiing" before. "It's real simple, y'all," he explained. "Y'just gotta keep your feet straight. That's all it takes. I dunno what these poles do, but just don't turn your feet or anythin'. Remember. You're just slidin' on the snow. That's all it is."

"I can't get these on!" Mississippi wailed, stamping her feet in the snow and discarding the long boards. "Hold on, now," Alabama muttered, coaxing Mississippi to try them on. "Come on, now, I'll help you."

Alabama gazed up into Mississippi's eyes for a moment, and then looked away. "Nice and snug, now. Can't have you fallin' out or anything," he explained, fixing the boards to her shoes. Both Texas and Arkansas seemed impressed.

**9:49 AM.**

"Alright, since the only person on this team who knows how to ski is North Carolina," Michigan explained to Team America, "we'll just have to wing it. I'm sure it can't be that hard. Just... go straight, right?"

There were a few nods from teammates. "And remember," Michigan reminded them, "you get points for trying. So... at least try, even if you don't think you'll make it."

**9:53 AM.**

New Jersey sat on the snow with his skis at his side. "I don't know what to do!" he complained. "I've never done this before. Snow is depressing."

Massachusetts knelt beside him. "Hmm," he muttered, examining the skis. "It's not too hard. Just... put on the skis. It's like strapping on boots. I went skiing one winter, and it was okay. Just try for the team, alright?"

"Yeah!" encouraged Delaware, who already had hers strapped on. "You just... put them on, and go!"

She slid away, pulled forward by the ski poles to go investigate why Maine was sitting on the ground doing nothing. New Jersey watched Delaware recede, and commented, "I like her. Y'know what? I think I _will_ ski!"

Massachusetts smiled, and patted New Jersey on the back. "Well, good on you, Jersey. C'mon, I think we're starting soon."

**9:59 AM.**

"You guys ready?" called Chris, who stood at the top of the hill carrying a magnum. "Each team sends out their first skier when I fire! You can send them out as fast as you want, but remember, the points are where if you actually make it or not! So, take your time. Ready?"

The five teams seemed ready for the competition. For Team Victory, Oregon stood with his purple skis, ready to go. Team Democracy's Pennsylvania was going first. North Carolina was Team America's first choice, Colorado for Team Dakota, and Alabama for Team Touchdown. "Set!" Chris yelled, pointing the gun in the air. "Go-"

CRACK. The sound of the gun sent the first five skiers downwards, all racing quickly down the steep slope. The first contestants fared well, as they all had experience with skiing before in some shape or form. Even Alabama scored three points for his team, to their delight. Nobody fell, and all the points were awarded to the teams. Within a few minutes, they had arrived at the finish line, putting all teams at a tie.

"Go!" New York shouted, letting Massachusetts go next for Team Democracy. After Alabama completed the slope, Mississippi immediately went afterwards, with a shout of, "Let me try!"

Within the span of four seconds, she fell, crumpling to a halt about twenty feet down the slope. "Ouch!" Chris commented, smiling with an amused twinkle in his eye. "One point for Team Touchdown! Not impressive!"

Mississippi's fall immediately deterred the other members of Team Touchdown from going forth and trying. When Missouri was ushered forth to the slope, she immediately began shaking her head. "No!" she yelled. "No. I don't like steep slopes. I don't like them at all. I don't like it. Make someone else do it."

"Is that a zero for Missouri?" Chris called in a sing-song voice, to which Missouri nodded shamefully. "For shame, Missouri, for shame!" Chris said, writing it down in his notepad as the members of Team Touchdown glared at her.

"Don't worry, I got this! Yaaay!" California yelled from Team Victory, and pushed herself down the slope. For a hundred yards or so, things seemed alright. "You've got it!" New Mexico yelled, cheering her on. Washington glanced up at New Mexico's sunglasses. "It's like forty degrees up here," he commented. "Aren't you going to take those off?"

New Mexico smiled, and shook his head. "Nah, brother! The shades mean I've got this under contro-"

California suddenly took a spill, right near the end. "Oh, Jesus," Arizona whispered, gasping. "Someone needs to check on her. She might be hurt."

Chris gave California a thumbs down, and said, "I'm sure someone will!"

**10:10 AM.**

"Beat him down!" North Dakota screamed, cheering on Utah, who had just descended the slope. It was close between Utah and Vermont from Team Democracy. Utah heard North Dakota, and cautiously slid in front of Vermont's path, who skidded just out of the way, causing him to take a plummet into the snow. "Yes!" North Dakota cried. "That's how it's done!"

"_What_?" New York yelled. "That's _cheating_! Chris, disqualify Team Dakota!"

Chris just shrugged. "I never said you couldn't trip up the other contestants! Interestingly played, North Dakota. One point for Vermont, and... Utah finished, so three points for him."

New York stood in disbelief at Chris's nonchalant attitude towards the trip. "I can't believe this," he muttered, as New Hampshire was sent down the slope.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_9_mp3**

"Oh, come on. Wait, you're asking me if I should be ashamed? You're serious? This is a reality show. There's a million dollars for the person that wins. I doubled my chances with my sister joining the show with me. If anybody doesn't like _tactics_, they can kiss my ass, because I don't care. If Vermont or whoever wanted that million badly enough, he could have just used the same tactics. It's a fair game out there. Don't patronize me with your questions."

North Dakota

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_10_mp3**

"I am so, so, so sorry. I don't know why I did that. I... I was so close to the finish line, and I saw Vermont, and for some reason I thought he was gonna beat me and take the point or something - and I heard North Dakota _screaming_ at me, and I didn't want to let down the team, and so... I cut across Vermont. I didn't mean for him to... to fall like that. Or for him to get a concussion."

Utah

**10:32 AM.**

"Are you guys gonna go, or what?"

Chris McLean was standing on the mountain. Eight contestants remained, who absolutely refused to take the plunge down the mountain. Rhode Island, North Dakota, Arizona, West Virginia, Arkansas, and Missouri all stood awkwardly. Everyone else had at least gotten one point for their team. "Well, okay, then," Chris said, sighing. "Time to tally up!"

For a few minutes, Chris sat doing basic addition while the eight contestants waited on him. Everyone else was at the bottom enjoying refreshments. "Ah!" Chris said, tapping his notepad with a pencil. "Looks like we have a winner! Team Victory, with twenty total points!"

Arizona sighed in relief, and sat down on the snow. Chris smiled, and continued, "Team America got second with nineteen points, Team Democracy in third with seventeen points, Team Dakota in fourth with sixteen points... and Team Touchdown. Last place. Ten points. Quite literally, the only person who finished on your team was Alabama."

Both Arkansas and Missouri groaned, letting their heads hang. "It'll be fun to find out who gets kicked off!" Chris added unnecessarily, winking at the two contestants. "I can hardly wait. Meet up in the buses. Someone get Vermont his ambulance, or whatever he needs. I'll see you guys... later."

**3:59 PM.**

Team Touchdown's bus sped down the steep mountainside slopes of Alaska. Most of the team was silent, and still soaking wet, as seven of them had fallen into the snow at one point or another. Only Alabama seemed confident in his safety in the evening's voting, and as such, took up a quiet conversation with Texas and Mississippi.

"Alright, y'all," he whispered. "Someone's goin' home tonight. Now... I don't know 'bout y'all," he muttered, "but I see it as a game between Missouri an' Arkansas. What do y'all think?"

Texas nodded righteously. "They could'a tried," he pointed out. "Hell, I might've made it to the bottom. But at least I tried. And Mississippi."

Curiously, Alabama avoided looking at Mississippi. "Well, here's what I'm thinkin'," Alabama muttered, directing the conversation away. "I'm thinkin' we keep the black dude. Arkansas. We can't have a team with just two guys. It ain't right."

Mississippi screwed up her face. "I like Missouri. Y'know, y'all, she painted my nails the other day."

Texas turned on her, and harshly whispered, "Girl, when do you think paintin' nails is gonna be challenge? Exactly. Like I said, all these challenges are _physical_. We just slipped up, 'cause nobody knows how to ski."

The blonde shrank at that statement. Alabama nodded slowly. "Which is why I say we keep Arkansas," he muttered. "And anyways, he's smart or somethin'. I know that's important."

Texas shook his head sadly. "Man, dude, like I'm tellin' you. All these challenges are physical. Relay race. Obstacle course. Skiing. I bet when we get to my state, we'll end up ridin' horses or somethin'. I say we boot the nerdy dude. He's just gonna hold us back."

Alabama glared at Texas. "Whatever, man. One of 'em's goin' home. I know that."

**7:01 PM.**

Ten teenagers shivered in the parking lot of a supermarket in Anchorage, a few hours drive from the mountains. The sun was high up, even though it was around 7 PM. "Alright, kids," Chris teased, wielding a plastic bag full of candy. "I've got candy for _nine _of you. That means one of you is going home. You've all voted. Now, it's time to see. Team Touchdown hasn't gone through voting yet, so lemme explain how it works. I call your name, and tell you how many votes you got, going from least votes to most votes. I will begin. Alabama! Zero votes, my man."

Alabama caught a small package. He frowned at it. "What the hell's a 'Crunchie'?"

"It's _Canadian candy_, Alabama!" Chris yelled, evidently annoyed. "I'm sorry, but this was all we could pick up on the way here. Deal with it. Florida! You get some Smarties. No votes."

The young girl caught it, and glanced at the box, which depicted candies that looked more like Skittles. "These aren't Smarties," she told him. "Canadian Smarties aren't the same," Chris sighed, with his head in his hands. "How many times do I have to say that? Try something new for once. Georgia! Zero votes. Smarties for you, too."

The brown haired girl picked up the box, which had simply fallen to the pavement. "Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, and Tennessee!" Chris yelled, tossing out candies in lightning quick succession at each of the girls. "No votes! Good job."

Chris held only two more candies, which he waved tauntingly in front of the three remaining contestants: Texas, Arkansas, and Missouri. "Each of you three got at least one vote!" he called. "I have an Aero right here for the next person, who is... Texas! One vote, dude."

Texas caught the green packet, and looked around cautiously. "Arkansas and Missouri," Chris then said, chuckling. "Nine votes total were directed towards you two. Coincidentally... one of you got five votes, and the other got four. The final Coffee Crisp goes to..."

Arkansas gulped. Missouri glanced around, terrified, knowing that at least four people had voted for her... to be kicked off. Chris just stood there, with his permanent grin.

"Arkansas!"

You could visibly see the relief on Arkansas's face, as he grabbed for the Coffee Crisp. "Sorry, Missouri!" Chris then declared. "You got the five votes. Your taxi awaits you. I think you have a long... _long_ drive home."

Missouri turned around to face her team. There were tears in her eyes, but she stood strong. "Why?" she asked them. "What did I do to deserve this? I've been... I've been nice to every single one of you."

"There's plenty of time for crying on the way home!" Chris exclaimed, patting her on the back. "Tissues are complimentary in 'La Cab del Losers'. Grab your things, and hop in."

Missouri stood for a few more moments, looking at each of her teammates, who all avoided her glare. Then, with an exaggerated huff, she turned around, and went to round up her items from the bus. "Well!" Chris decided. "This has been eventful. We are now scheduled to be in Saint Louis this Wednesday! Are you guys _ready_?"

Nobody said anything, as the teenagers of Team Touchdown awkwardly shifted where they stood. Chris crossed his arms. "Whoa now, kids, don't get _too_ crazy. Anyways. To the buses! All aboard!"

**11:36 PM.**

It was late at night on Team Democracy's bus, but the sun was still just above the horizon to the north. Connecticut was sitting on his bunk, the bottom one. Above him, lay Massachusetts, who was reading the July PC Gamer magazine. On the second bunk bed in the small room, New York was laying on the top. Vermont owned the one below him, but he was somewhere else. There was a moment of silence, and then Connecticut muttered, with a sly grin, "Well, at least we got in third. That's a lot better than fourth, huh?"

New York just glanced at Connecticut, and rolled over, trying to get sleep. Massachusetts chuckled, and flipped the page. "I guess. The only person who didn't go was... Rhode Island, right?"

Connecticut looked down. "Um. Yes."

"You're interested in her, aren't you?"

"I - no, man, I - dude, shush. No. I don't know what you're talking about."

Massachusetts rolled his eyes. "I can _tell_ when a guy is interested in someone. You should go for it, dude."

Connecticut furrowed his brow at that. "Wait, why can you specifically tell when a _guy_ is interested in-"

"Like, for instance, New York here. I saw him eyeing Pennsylvania."

New York, who had been eavesdropping up until that point, rolled back over, and blearily glanced at Massachusetts. He shook his head softly, and chuckled, "It may have crossed my mind."

"See?" Massachusetts reasoned, and went back to reading his article about the Oculus Rift. Connecticut sat there for a few more moments. "You... really think I should go for it?"

"Sure. Why not?" the bespectacled teen said with a casual wave of his hand. "It'd probably help in keeping people from being voted off. Just don't, like, become distracted or anything."

Connecticut was just slowly nodding, and went back to scrolling down social media on his phone. "Isn't this show aired live?" he asked Massachusetts. The top bunker looked down. "No. The episodes air a week after they're filmed, from what I know. Why?"

"Twitter says we're trending."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_11_mp3**

"Connecticut's a good guy. I can tell. I think his infatuation with Rhode Island is a bit silly, considering that eventually one of them's going to be separated from the other, but his heart's in the right place. New York? He's a good leader. He pushed us not to lose in the past three challenges. Delaware's physically fit. New Jersey... he's a creep, I'll say that. He asked me _several_ times if it was socially acceptable to photograph people without their knowledge, and I saw him staring at Delaware's butt. That's not okay. But... apart from him? I think we have a good team going here, one more... sophisticated than any of the southerners. We've got this."

Massachusetts

**11:39 PM.**

**ELIMINATED:** Wyoming, Alaska, and Missouri.


	5. Revolution

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, and Vermont.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wisconsin.

**EPISODE 4: REVOLUTION**

_"Hey, it's just some friendly advice." - New York_

**Wednesday, July 16th, 2014. Saint Louis, Missouri. 8:04 AM.**

"Oh, wow! We're almost there!"

Oklahoma was staring out the window of Team Dakota's bus, clearly captivated by the view. They were approaching the city of Saint Louis, Missouri. "Look at the view out there!"

The huge arch dominated the skyline, slightly taller than any of the other buildings. Before it, lay the sleepy Mississippi River. Oklahoma's breath fogged up as she stared out the glass, utterly entranced.

Nebraska approached, and craned his neck to take a look. "Man," he muttered. "I've been here before. I never though I'd go here for a gameshow, heh. What do you think Chris is gonna make us do?"

North Dakota entered that part of the bus, prompting Nebraska and Oklahoma to immediately sit back down. "Oklahoma," she said haughtily, "it's time to make me and South Dakota's beds. Did you forget?"

"Oh!" Oklahoma stammered, immediately standing up. "Oh... oh! I'm... I'm sorry! I forgot, I'll... do that now!"

North Dakota exited right as South Dakota walked in cautiously, giving her sister a wide berth. "Um..." South Dakota mumbled, "ignore her. I can do it. She gets a bit... _touchy_ on challenge days."

Oklahoma avoided South Dakota's gaze, and stammered, "No, no, it's no problem at all! I'm just so glad to have you guys as friends. We... _are_ a team, after all!"

The overalled girl ran into the bedrooms, leaving South Dakota standing there. "Um..." she said. "well, it's challenge day! Exciting, huh?"

Nebraska avoided South Dakota's peer, and satisfied himself with examining his thumbs. South Dakota sighed, and sat down in a stool as the city grew nearer.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_12_mp3**

"I appreciate what my sister's doing for me. She really knows how to... um. Take control of a situation, and she really, _really_ has the team viewing her as a leader, or something like that. But... isn't the point of a gameshow to have fun? What's the fun in spending six months with nine other people when you can't have any enjoyment, and you're so... so busy with trying to win? I guess I shouldn't complain. I've got five hundred thousand dollars in my future."

South Dakota

**8:45 AM.**

Team Democracy's bus. Driving through the streets of Saint Louis in the vain hopes that there will be parking somewhere for the challenge. Nine AM.

Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, and Vermont all sat in the living room of the bus. Massachusetts was on his laptop, playing a video game. Vermont was reading. Rhode Island was staring out the window out the sights, making little "Ooh!"s every few seconds. Connecticut sat awkwardly, twiddling his thumbs. Every few moments, Massachusetts glanced up at Connecticut, who seemed to be making no moves whatsoever. And then, it clicked in Massachusetts's head.

He stood up, and said, "Come on, Vermont. I think I heard New York. He needs our help with... something."

Vermont looked confused, but the mute teenager consented to follow Massachusetts out of the room. Connecticut sat glancing nervously, and then spoke.

"Um. Hi."

Rhode Island's gaze flew over, as she was evidently startled. "Oh, my god!" she muttered. "You scared me."

"Ah... um... sorry, sorry... listen... I was thinking..."

**8:48 AM.**

Chris sat in a small tent in a park in front of the capitol building, watching a panel of TV monitors. "Oh my god," he muttered, letting his head fall into his hands. "This has to be the most awkward moment in television history."

**8:49 AM.**

Rhode Island blinked. "Oh, wow. Um... sure. I'd love to. You're sweet." And with that, she bounced out of the room, into which Massachusetts entered, now accompanied by New York. New York cringed, and muttered, "That was one of the most uncomfortable things I've ever seen in my life. You know that, right?"

It didn't matter to Connecticut, who seemed high as a cloud right now. "I don't care," he breathed. "I did it. We're together or something. I've never done anything like that before now."

Massachusetts and New York exchanged glances. "Wait, you've _never_ had a girlfr-"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_12_mp3**

"_YES_! I _knew_ I could do it! Ohhh, man, I was ready to just quit right then and there, but she said yes, and I don't know _why_ but I think we're a thing now! Ha_hah_! I am on fire. Oh, man. This is the beginning of a new era. I can do anything."

Connecticut.

**9:12 AM.**

"Contestants!" Chris yelled with an annoyed expression in a park downtown. Behind him stood the tall and proud City Hall, and behind that, the Gateway Arch, a symbol of the gate to the west. "I'm not impressed! Now, granted, we _are_ doing _reaaally_ well with ratings right now. But someone here has been watching the episodes."

He angrily glared at the forty-seven contestants. "Some of you may be asking, with feigned innocent stares, 'What is he talking about? I, a _teenager_, am completely innocent!' What I mean is... you may know that the episodes are starting to air right now. And some of you have been watching them, and watching the confessional tapes. This is _forbidden_! You're not supposed to know the other contestants confessional tapes! If everyone knows their confessional isn't private to the other contestants, nobody will reveal their juicy secrets! Secrets that will _boost ratings_! So... I'm going to have to confiscate your phones and electronic devices."

"_WHAT_?!" was the collective cry of forty-seven teenagers. Chris smiled maliciously. "Don't worry, I've got the Interns going through the buses right now, taking anything that might get you connected to the Internet. You'll get them _back_ if you get booted off. Er, sorry - _when_ you get booted off. Now. Who's ready for our fourth challenge?"

Nobody said anything. Everyone was too stunned with Chris's news to speak. California was doubled over sobbing, as a plastic box of electronics was hauled out from Team Victory's bus. Chris was just grinning sadistically at the teenagers.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_13_mp3**

"I don't get Chris's fetish with being an asshole. He, like, specifically enjoys ticking us off. I've watched all the Total Drama seasons up until this point for strategy and I can tell you that he was definitely like that the whole time. Also, Heather? She was a complete idiot about how she handled things. There's a difference between being a leader and being a psychopath. Alejandro was a much better candidate."

North Dakota

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_14_mp3**

"Oh, no. No, no, no. I need my laptop. I need it! He can't get away with this. This is _illegal_."

Washington

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_15_mp3**

"_NO"_

California

**9:16 AM.**

A few contestants were wailing. Chris had his fingers in his ears, and was just yelling, "_LALALALALALA_" as a band of twelve contestants were preparing to raid the Interns for their electronics back. "For the _REVOLUTION_!" Washington cried, leading the group of misfits wielding pool noodles against the Interns.

"_Stop_!" Chris ordered. "No! No revolutions! _Bad_! You don't get a million dollars for having a revolution, contestants! You get kicked off!"

The disgruntled teenagers threw down the pool noodles, but not before angrily staring at Chris and cautiously eyeing the plastic boxes of phones and tablets. "You kids brought this on yourselves!" Chris yelled, glaring at the dozens of kids. "You just _had_ to look online and watch the first and second episodes. Yeah, well, no more phones for you. Okay. Now that everyone's had their little _uprising_ or whatever, we seriously need to get going with our fourth challenge. We're doing a scavenger hunt."

At this news, most people seemed interested, and took their attention away from the electronics. Chris smiled his copy-written smile, and explained, "There are four different items you must find. I give you guys a clue, and then you run around throughout the city trying to find it. First team to find it is safe! Nobody on that team will be eliminated, and they can come back here for refreshments. I then give out the next clue to everyone else via radio. The team that gets no clue correct loses. Alright?"

Washington finally dropped his pool noodle, and looked up at Chris, evaluating the challenge ahead. New York seemed to be nodding, as though he was prepared for such a challenge. "Is everyone ready for your first clue?" Chris asked, looking around. "I will say it once. No repeats. It's up to you guys to _actually listen_."

"The first clue is this: where do red birds live?"

A few people on the teams began to immediately try to decrypt the message. "Red birds..." Rhode Island wondered. "Where would you find a bird? Maybe... the zoo?"

With that, Team Democracy immediately ran to the zoo, which was quite a while west. Washington was thinking. "It can't be that simple," he explained. "Why would he specify that the birds are _red_? Maybe it's like the name of a company or something..."

Chris just smiled at Team Victory, as they immediately ran downtown. Upon North Dakota's orders, Team Dakota followed them. Virginia was sitting with her head in her hands. "Ugh. I don't know," she complained. "If we just had our phones, we could... I dunno. Look it up."

Ohio looked up instantly at that. "Oh. I think we could," he explained. "We could just go to the library and look it up. If we're lucky, Chris is talking about it on Twitter right now, or something."

Team America just ran off, leaving Team Touchdown still just standing there. "All physical challenges, huh, Tex?" Alabama deadpanned, glancing up at the Texan. "Shut up, man!" he yelled back. "I'm tryin' to think!"

Arkansas just stood there. "Red bird?" he wondered. "Isn't that like the baseball team here?"

Everyone turned to stare at him. "What?"

"Like," he explained, "the baseball team. The Cardinals. A Cardinal is a type of red bird."

As Texas just stared, South Carolina excitedly jumped, and cried, "That's it! That's _it_! The baseball stadium is just a few blocks from here! Let's _go_!"

**9:45 AM.**

"Where are we?" Pennsylvania asked New York as Team Democracy trudged west. "To the zoo," Rhode Island explained. "It's exactly where we'd find something like a red bird. It's probably the only place you'd be able to find it."

The radio crackled suddenly, making them all jump. "Team Touchdown wins the first clue!" Chris crackled through static. "They are safe! The correct answer was the Busch stadium housing the Saint Louis Cardinals! Nice job, Arkansas! Next clue is this!"

Team Democracy groaned, as they then strained to listen. "Bill Nye!" was the only thing that came out of the radio. "That is all!"

Massachusetts just stared at the radio after an angry glare at Rhode Island. "Was Saint Louis his birthplace or something?" Connecticut asked. "Maybe his home is a museum. Where would that be?"

"I don't know," New York admitted. "We need one of those informational brochures or something."

**9:58 AM.**

"Alright..." Ohio mumbled, typing something out into Google at the Saint Louis Public Library. "We're looking for Bill Nye's connection to Saint Louis. Let's see here..."

He typed it out, and squinted at the screen. "It looks like... in 2012 he did some sort of lecture at the Saint Louis Science Center, but that's it."

Virginia sighed, and rubbed her forehead. "Well, we might as well try that," she reasoned. "Come on. Look up where it is. Maybe we can get there soon."

**10:01 AM.**

"Did we come up here for nothing?" Oregon sighed, looking out the view of the top floor of a downtown office building. "Maybe," Washington admitted, "Also... what's 'Bill Nye' supposed to mean? What does he have to do with the clue?"

"Oh, don't act like you don't know," North Dakota sighed, approaching Washington, who took an involuntary step back. "Uh, what are you guys doing here?" he asked, and continued, "We got here first. And besides, there's no birds up here." North Dakota got closer to Washington, who looked uncomfortable. "You know where the Bill Nye clue is," she whispered. "Tell me, and I can assure you it'll be worth your time."

She grabbed his arm, leaving him to wriggle out. "No," he harshly whispered, looking slightly disgusted. "I'm not... interested, and that means exactly what it sounds like it means. Find it on your own."

Team Victory left, but not before New Mexico flipped Team Dakota off as the elevator doors closed. "Argh!" North Dakota exclaimed. "This is ridiculous! You. Nebraska. You're smart or something. Tell us who Bill Nye is."

Nebraska looked terrified. "Um... he's a scientist or something. He did the kids show."

Just then, the radio blared, "Nice job, Team America!" causing everyone to jump. "The Saint Louis Science Center is the correct location! The third clue is the following. It's not so much as a clue as it is... just a blatant admittance to what the location is. Your next location is at the _Saint Louis Citygarden_! Go, go, _go_!"

**10:08 AM.**

"That's right near here!" New Mexico shouted, sunglasses dancing dangerously about his face, as Team Victory sprinted down the sidewalks of Saint Louis, dodging disgruntled businessmen. "Come on! It's some park! It's got sculptures! We've got this!"

**10:10 AM.**

"Come _on_!" New York yelled, sprinting east towards the city. They'd trudged a long, long way towards the zoo, only to find themselves far, far away from everyone else. "This is your fault, Rhode Island!"

"Hey!" Connecticut shouted. "At least she gave us a suggestion as to where to go! You just stood there doing nothing!"

New York turned on him, and called, "I was doing _nothing_? _You_ were too busy making goo-goo eyes at Rhode Island to know what you were doing! And now we're going to lose! You'd better pray that we find that last clue."

**10:15 AM.**

Two teams converged on the Citygarden simultaneously, only to find out that Team Victory had already made it triumphantly. "Nice going, Team Victory!" Chris yelled, smiling broadly. "There's only one more clue! Team Dakota. Team Democracy. You must decipher this clue. Alright? Sorry about the last clue, by the way!"

"You mean where the previous clue was just a blatant race to the finish line?" Massachusetts deadpanned, glaring at Chris, who shrugged. "We like to have fun here!" Chris admitted. "Lighten up. Your clue is the following."

"What do stoners and airplanes have in common?"

Everyone froze. "Is that the beginning to a terrible joke?" New Mexico asked, sipping a Fanta and sitting down on the grass with the rest of his team. "Sort of!" Chris said, smiling. "It's the clue to the next location... and the last location."

Massachusetts nodded slowly. "Well... the obvious answer is that-"

New Jersey blurted out, "They're both really high! So... what's the highest point in the city?"

There was approximately one second in which nobody did anything. And then, Team Dakota sprinted off towards the Gateway Arch.

"_After them_!" New York yelled, leading the charge following Team Dakota. The Gateway Arch was just past City Hall, but the race between Team Dakota and Team Democracy was growing thin.

"There are two elevators!" North Dakota screamed to her team. "I take one, and South takes the other! _Don't let them in_!"

North Dakota and South Dakota split towards the two bases of the arch, each shoving the elevator attendants aside.

"No!" Connecticut shouted, banging on the elevator door as it shut. "_Nooo_! They can't do that! Chris, doesn't every team member have to meet at the location? It's just two members of their team!"

Chris shrugged. "I dunno! This makes for good drama, though! I like it!"

A few moments passed, in which Team Democracy all waited anxiously. And then, Chris's radio blared, in a screeching voice, "_I've got it! We're here!_"

"Team Dakota has found the fourth location!" Chris shouted with a broad smile. "Which means... Team Democracy! You _lost_! Hahahahah! That was a lot of fun. It'll be interesting to find out who's going to be voted out! Team Touchdown, Team America, Team Victory, and Team Dakota, go and rest. It'll be time to vote... _very_ soon."

**12:10 PM.**

"Aw, man..."

Connecticut was lying on the couch of Team Democracy's bus as it roared out of the city. "This was our first loss," he sighed, rolling over. "We should've done well, too."

New York glanced at Connecticut. "You got distracted by Rhode Island," he pointed out. Connecticut immediately bolted upright, and shouted, "No, I didn't! I haven't spoken to her since this morning! We've been so busy! Don't pin the blame on me. It was everyone else's fault just as much."

Massachusetts was sitting at the kitchen table, re-reading his magazine. "I dunno," he muttered. "I think the biggest issue here is that Chris took away everything from us. No phones. No laptops. No tablets. How are we supposed to _live_?"

Delaware, who sat across from him, mentioned, "Hey, just a few years ago, kids our age didn't have electronics like this. My sister told me she didn't get a phone until she was in high school."

This tale of cellular abstinence inexplicably wowed everyone in the bus. "Whoa, really?" Connecticut mused, impressed. "What did people _do_ in those ancient times?"

"Strap in!" a crackling voice shouted over the radio. "We'll be at a rest stop soon. It's time to vote, Team Democracy! Who will be our loser for today?"

Massachusetts rolled his eyes. "I think it's fair game with the voting," he muttered. "Nobody did _that_ poorly. It'll be a close vote."

**6:59 PM.**

Chris stood there, smiling, arms full of gas station snacks. "Isn't this _fun_?" he asked them with a broad grin. "I get to watch all of your teams slowly dwindle down. Heh! This is going to be interesting. When I call your name, you get a snack, and I tell you how many people voted for you, alright? If you get no snacks... you don't get to come back. _Ever_. I will begin. First off... Delaware, Maine, and Massachusetts! _Mentats for all_! No votes!"

The three contestants gratefully grabbed the snacks. Chris smiled mischievously, and then said, tossing out candy bars, "New Hampshire, Pennsylvania, and Vermont! Zero votes for all of you guys. Now... the rest of you..."

New York, Rhode Island, New Jersey, and Connecticut all remained. Chris waved three packs of Skittles in the air. "You all got at least one vote!" he announced.

There was a brief silence. New York looked angrily around.

"New Jersey! Here you go, man. One vote."

The leather jacketed young man caught the Skittles, looking down at the pavement. Chris smiled.

**t50sr_roadtrip_16_mp3**

"It was just me, New York, and Rhode Island. I was praying, freaking _praying_ that it was New York who was going home. I mean, he didn't, so... I guess I'm not very good at that sort of thing."

Connecticut

**7:01 PM.**

"New York! Two votes!"

Connecticut and Rhode Island exchanged horrified glances, eyes filling with tears. Massachusetts was just watching, jaw wide. Chris smiled broadly, and said, "Uh oh! One packet of Skittles... and two lovers. It's like Romeo and Juliet!"

_Oh, no..._

"The final snack goes to..."

_Oh, no, no, no... please..._

"to..."

_Just say it. Rhode Island, right? That means I'm going home. I deserve it, too-_

"Connecticut! Three votes."

Connecticut's expression froze, as Rhode Island's eyes watered up. "_No_!" he yelled. "You can't keep me on this show!"

"Yes, I can!" Chris decided, smiling. "You signed a contract! Rhode Island, sorry. No Skittles for you. Four votes. You're going home!"

Connecticut looked around, flustered, and looked towards Rhode Island. "This is my fault," he stammered. "I drew our team's attention to you. I screwed up our chances of winning. I'm the one who should be going home."

"No, you're not! Say goodbye, Rhode Island!"

Without so much as a wave, Rhode Island was pushed roughly by an Intern towards the awaiting taxi. "I-" she began, right as the car door slammed. Chris gave a friendly wave. "Thanks for playing!" he called after her, as the car drove off. "Come back soon! Just kidding. You're never going to be on this show again. Hahaha!"

Team Democracy was speechless, after experiencing their first voting ceremony. Nobody was safe from being voted off. Mess up once during the challenges... and you were going home.

**9:02 PM.**

The mood inside Team Democracy's bus was depressing, to be frank. They'd lost their first challenge, and hadn't even won a single one since they began. Connecticut seemed particularly upset; the sight of Rhode Island's now empty bunk brought him to choked tears. Massachusetts was just lying on the floor, looking up.

New York, sitting on the couch and reading a book, looked down at his fellow team member and asked, "Computer withdrawal?"

Massachusetts just gave a sad nod, to which New York sighed, and leaned forward, saying "Oh, and... you don't think there's any room for romance in this show, huh?"

The bespectacled teen, still lying on the floor, sat up, and looked at New York with bleary eyes. "I think the worst part is that Rhode Island didn't even do much wrong. She just told us to go to the zoo, which was a decent suggestion when you look at it objectively. I just... I dunno. We've got to start winning. Soon."

New York just sat on the couching, thinking, as Massachusetts sat beside him. "So," New York began, as Massachusetts glanced out the window.

"So?"

"So, are you interested in anyone on the team?"

Massachusetts sighed, and put his head in his hands. "Man, dude, not now. This is a day of mourning."

"Oh, come on, Massachusetts. You know that I think Pennsylvania's cute."

Connecticut walked in with dreary eyes, and flopped on the final seat of the couch, now surrounding Massachusetts. "You really want to know?" Massachusetts asked, doubt in his expression. New York grinned, and said, "Lay it on me, man."

"I'm bisexual."

New York blinked. "You're what?"

Connecticut looked over, as though he wasn't paying any attention. "What?"

"It means I like guys and girls."

New York stared off into the distance, and muttered, "Wow... that explains a lot, too..."

"What things? Massachusetts, what are you guys talking about?"

"That I'm bi."

"You're what?"

"It means I like-"

"Yeah, we get it," New York cut him off with his hand. "It's fine by me, Massachusetts, I don't judge. But my question still stands."

Massachusetts sighed, and looked up. "It really doesn't matter," he explained. "We've only been on this show for about two weeks, guys. I'd like to actually... you know, get to _know_ some of my teammates before getting into... um... romantic things. And, you know, it's not like it'd last. Sooner or later, one of us would get voted off."

New York leaned closer to Massachusetts, and muttered, "The fans love it."

"What?"

"They love the romantic things. They eat it up. When this episode airs next week, you can expect about a hundred Connecticut and Rhode Island fan fictions or whatever."

Connecticut looked up again. "Wait, what?"

"I'm telling you," New York concluded, "if you want to last on this show, you're going to have to pair up with somebody. Also, congratulations. Everybody back home knows that you're bisexual now."

Massachusetts rolled his eyes, and muttered, "They already knew that..."

"And now millions more people know it, too."

Massachusetts groaned, and let his head back. "You know, this is why I didn't want to tell you guys." New York looked satisfied, and leaned back. "Hey, it's just some friendly advice," he said, flashing a smile.

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, and Rhode Island.


	6. A Minor Setback

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, and Vermont.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wisconsin.

**EPISODE 5: A MINOR SETBACK**

_"Am I your friend?" - Oregon_

**Saturday, July 19th, 2014. Providence, Rhode Island. 6:10 AM.**

A sleepy sun rose over the eastern horizon. A two lane interstate sat vacant. And then, five tour buses soared by at excessive speeds.

Team America's bus. While the majority of its occupants were sound asleep, a few had already risen, eager to start the day's challenge early.

Wisconsin was sitting on the couch, looking out the window, and gazing at the passing trees. Kentucky and North Carolina were in the same room. North Carolina was doodling in her sketchbook, while Kentucky was... artistically digging at the interiors of his nostrils. Every few moments, North Carolina glanced up at Kentucky, and scooted away from him just slightly.

"I can predict who gets voted off!" Kentucky suddenly announced to the silent bus. Wisconsin glanced around, and dully muttered, "Is that so?"

Kentucky nodded erratically. "Today... Team... Touchdown is gonna lose, and Georgia'll be voted off."

North Carolina looked at him skeptically. "Uh huh. I recall you stating last week that Pennsylvania would be voted off."

The Kentuckian shook his head. "I didn't say that."

North Carolina appeared appalled, but didn't press the issue, contenting herself with just rolling her eyes and going back to drawing. At that moment, Indiana walked in, stretching with a sleepy gaze. "'Mornin'," she muttered. "You guys ready to lose finally?"

Wisconsin glanced at the bored looking girl. "What?"

Indiana shrugged, and opened a box of Poptarts. "All the other teams have lost. I figure it's our turn now."

The only person to react to that was Wisconsin, who turned around towards the window, mumbling, "Way to be optimistic."

**7:14 AM.**

The sun rises a little higher over the swaying treetops. Team Victory's bus, along with four others, slowly makes its way through the small state.

New Mexico sat on a kitchen stool, paging through a mountain biking catalog. "Man..." he mused, flipping through the pages. "This stuff is cool. I hope we get a biking challenge sometime..."

Washington looked up from his book. "Maybe," he mumbled. "I don't know what we could do for a state like Rhode Island, though... hm."

The tanned, sunglasses-wearing dude glanced up nervously. "Um, Washington... this is kind of random, but... you're good with girls, right?"

Washington blinked behind his glasses. "Um. No... no, you must have me confused with someone else. That's not really my realm of... expertise, if you know what I mean."

"Well, I'm... thinkin' of askin' out-"

"Who?" Oregon suddenly asked, walking in with just his boxers and a t-shirt. New Mexico averted his glance to somewhere else, but continued, "Um... Arizona. I... I really like her. She's nice. She stayed behind to help Alaska. And I've gotten to know her a little better, too... y'know, just over the past few days."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_17_mp3**

"I don't wanna go on and on about it... but I really like her. Arizona, that is. We've been talking a lot over the past few days... and... argh! She's so nice. Did you know she worked as a volunteer for the Phoenix Zoo taking care of monkeys? Seriously... how much nicer can you be than _that_? And her hair is so nice. It's orange... like the desert. I don't wanna be a creep or anything about it, though. I can't screw this up. I really felt a connection with her."

New Mexico

**7:17 AM.**

Washington's eyebrow was creeping higher and higher up his forehead, but Oregon had his hands clapped together with big eyes. "Oh my gosh..." he whispered. "You so should! Oh, she would love a guy like you. You should go for it, New Mexico. You'd be so cute together."

"You really think so?" he replied, to which Washington slowly shook his head. "I don't know, man. What if you two break up or something? It... just doesn't seem like a good idea."

New Mexico's heart could be seen plummeting to the floor. "Oh, don't listen to him, New Mexico," Oregon explained nervously. "Washington's probably never had a girlfriend before."

Washington let his gaze wander, and muttered, "Yeah, that's... _technically_ true..."

Oregon ignored him, and plowed on. "I think this team could use a cute couple. I bet the fans would love it. You two would be just perfect."

New Mexico had been nodding slowly, grin widening. "You know what? I think I will. I'm not sure when... but trust me, it'll happen. Thanks, Oregon."

The teen smiled in return, and said, "My pleasure. See, Washington? Couples _unite_ teams."

Washington just rolled his eyes, and just continued reading.

**9:52 AM.**

"Cont_eeessstaaants_!"

Forty-six weary teenagers piled out of five tour buses in the small city of Providence. Chris just stood there, smiling at them, holding his bullhorn at mouth level. "We've got a fun challenge ahead of us today!"

A few people outwardly groaned. Evidently, going from Alaska to Missouri and then all the way to Rhode Island had quite an effect on one's sleeping schedule. Chris frowned. "That's not the Total Drama spirit, now. Come on! This is going to be a fun challenge!"

Around fifty percent of the contestants just crossed their arms. "You know how Rhode Island is the smallest state, right?" Chris asked, grin growing wider. A few people nodded, looking skeptical. "Well... you guys are gonna run from one end to the other!"

There were just stares. And then, Kentucky burst out laughing, shouting loudly, "That's a _good_ one! Hahahahah!"

Chris's grin vanished. "It's about twenty miles from here to Connecticut!" he announced. "First team to get there wins. Everyone has to make it across the state line. This is a _marathon_, people! Across an entire state! Who's ready?"

Nobody did anything. Chris's frown deepened. "It's just an easy twenty miles from here to Connecticut. You guys _hav__e_ to do it, y'know. Just imagine the million dollar prize waiting for you! Now, on the sound of my gun, you guys are going to take off west, alright?"

A few contestants sighed resignedly. Nobody wanted to spend their day trekking across an entire state, but the million dollar prize _was_ taunting. "Get ready!" Chris shouted to the forty-six contestants. "Get set! Go-"

CRACK. The magnum fired off, the cue for everyone to take off. Some people began sprinting, while others took it at a light jog. "Remember to pace yourselves!" Michigan informed his team as he jogged ahead. "That's what this challenge is all about, I think. Just take it easy."

**10:06 AM.**

North Carolina and South Carolina were walking together, no longer bound by teams, and just chatting, when suddenly the blurred figure of Texas sprinted by. "Oh, my gosh!" they both cried. Texas was in the lead, that was for certain. Behind him, ran New Jersey, sprinting to keep up, Alabama, and Montana. It was certainly very close. "They're going to get tired out," South Carolina predicted, as she and her sister steadily made their way through the streets of Providence.

**10:17 AM.**

"Mind if we walk with you?" Washington asked New York, accompanied by Oregon as the three jogged through the suburbs of Providence, gaining stares as they ran by. "Not at all," New York said. "Especially since team boundaries apparently mean nothing for this challenge. How's your team?"

Washington smiled, and said, "Good, I think. We've got kind of a varied bunch. I guess you guys were the ones to just go through voting, huh?"

New York ran his hand through his hair, and muttered, "...yeah. It wasn't fun, especially considering Connecticut wanted to play match maker or whatever. But it's all good now. Wait... here he is now."

Connecticut and Massachusetts walked up to join them. "Hi," Washington greeted. "This is Washington and... Oregon, was it?" New York explained. "Washington, this is Massachusetts and Connecticut." The two newest teenagers nodded, smiling politely. Inter-team diplomacy was proving to be interesting. "Hi," Oregon stammered, nodding towards Team Democracy. "So," New York said, glancing at Oregon's tight purple t-shirt. "you two are... together...?"

Washington and Oregon glanced at each other. "Um, no," Washington hurriedly stated as Oregon avoided everyone's stares. "No, nothing like that." To that, New York nodded. "Got it. I guess you guys have picked up on the fact that this is a stamina challenge? Considering the fact that you two didn't immediately sprint off into the distance like most people."

Oregon smiled, and nodded. "Um, yeah. And besides, I don't think I would be able to keep up just... _running_ for, what, twenty miles? Washington says Team Touchdown is gonna lose."

New York nodded stiffly, and frowned. "I don't like them. I think they're idiots. Until a team merge happens or something, I don't want anything to do with them."

The five guys walked a few more moments in silence. And then, Connecticut spoke. "Um, do you guys think it's at all possible for contestants to get back on the show? Because on some Total Drama seasons, that happened."

Massachusetts pondered upon that for a few moments. "It's not unheard of. If Chris thinks bringing someone back into the game will boost ratings, then I'm positive he'd at least try. Why?"

"Oh. No reason."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_18_mp3**

"I... was just hoping Rhode Island could come back into the game. It's not impossible. Chris, if you're watching this, please make it happen. I will do anything. I mean... I barely know her, but... I dunno. I feel a lot more alone on this show now."_  
_

Connecticut

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_19_mp3**

"Ahahahaha! This kid is hilarious."

Chris

**11:11 AM.**

"March!" North Dakota ordered to her seven soldiers. South Dakota walked beside her, as the team marched through the farmlands outside Providence. The forty-six contestants were beginning to thin now, as people who couldn't keep up began to be left behind. Not from Team Dakota, however. Everyone marched in a straight line, heading west. "You are infantry!" she cried. "We are leading the march to Connecticut! You _must_ keep up. That includes _you_, Iowa! Stay in formation!"

"My legs are hurting!" he complained. North Dakota groaned. "Where's my thrall? Oklahoma!"

"Yes, Glorious Leader?" Oklahoma asked with a wavering voice. "Find me a long stick or something!" North Dakota ordered. "I need to hit Iowa with it."

A figure was growing closer in the distance ahead. "Quickly, pass this loser, team!" North Dakota said, excited. They were shocked to discover that it was Texas, who was drenched in sweat, and heaving heavily, with unfocused and bleary eyes. "I can't do it," he gasped, as Team Dakota marched onward. "You see, everyone?" North Dakota explained. "That's what happens when you don't pace yourself. Let Texas be a lesson to you. Keep up!"

**11:54 AM.**

The halfway mark. It was around noon by that time. A heavy New England summer sun beamed down on all of the contestants now. Most people were walking in groups now, regardless of teams. California, Arizona, South Carolina, North Carolina, and much of Team Touchdown's girls made up one such group, all fervently discussing the latest developments in the music industry when all of a sudden, Chris drove by in a golf cart. "Keep moving, girls!" he shouted, holding a bullhorn. "Chatting about deadbeat singers isn't going to get you a million dollars! It's going to make your team lose!"

He sped off. "Oh, my gosh, guys," Tennessee suddenly realized. "What if this challenge makes us get arthritis or something? Oh, my gosh, I don't think I could live with that."

She received sympathetic nods from many of her teammates. "Yeah, my feet are killing me," Georgia revealed. "I wish we could... like... take a car or something."

From the distance, a shout of, "You can't use vehicles for this challenge!" went up in the air from Chris's golf cart. The girls groaned. "Hey!" South Carolina yelped. "Who's that?"

A figure was in the distance, lying face down in a field of grass. The eight girls ran up to look. It was Montana, lying in the grass as though she were dead. "Oh, my god!" Mississippi cried. "I don't like bodies!"

Montana suddenly stirred. She was sweltering, with sweat running down her forehead in beady little drops. "Ugh..." she mumbled. "Oh... damn," Arizona whispered. "I think she's in trouble. Yo! Where's Chris?"

A few moments later, a golf cart rolled up. "What's up?" he asked, with a bored expression. Arizona pointed at Montana. "I think she ran too fast or something. She's in critical condition."

Chris looked just plain disgusted. "Ew. I'll get the Interns to get her to a hospital or something... I guess. Hospital bills aren't fun, you know."

The show's host cautiously loaded Montana's limp frame into his golf cart, and drove east.

**3:14 PM.**

It was around late afternoon near the Connecticut-Rhode Island state line. The first contestants were showing up; Michigan, Virginia, and Ohio arrived. "Welcome to Connecticut!" Chris shouted. "You guys are from Team America, huh? Well, if the other seven of you get here soon, you guys will-"

The sound of clomping shoes could be heard in the distance. Chris squinted, and peered over the fields to see nine tightly organized teenagers all marching in unison. "It looks like we have a winner!" Chris yelled, as Team Dakota approached. "That's everyone from Team Dakota! First place, you guys. Impressive work."

North Dakota bowed sweetly. "Thank you, Chris," she said. "All it takes is just some decent leadership."

Within a few more moments, the rest of Team America arrived, along with the group of girls. "Hey!" Louisiana suddenly yelped, glancing around. "Where's Texas and Alabama? I thought they'd be here by now."

"We passed them, remember?" Georgia responded, doubled over. "They'll be here soon."

It was over an hour before there was any sign of the runners who had sprinted off at the beginning, however. By five PM, everyone from Team Victory and Team Democracy had arrived except for Montana and New Jersey, respectively. Chris stood impatiently, as the teams mingled and everyone chatted. Suddenly, he pointed. "There they are!"

Texas appeared on the horizon, carrying Alabama in shaking, sweaty arms. "We... we made it!" he gasped, collapsing at the state line. Not far behind, New Jersey plodded closer. "That's everyone, isn't it?" Maine asked, running her fingers through her hair nervously. "Well..." Chris muttered, looking down at his chart of the teams. "Not everyone. Montana, um, sort of collapsed a little earlier. But that's okay! Because that means everyone except Team Victory wins!"

Cheers went up in the air. "Wait, what?" Hawaii cried. "Chris, yo, help us out here. Where is she?"

Chris shrugged. "I'm not sure. I just gave her to the Interns. Maybe they took her to a hospital or something. Anyways! Team Victory, you're on the chopping block tonight! That's the second time for you guys!"

Washington groaned. "This isn't fair. She's out of action. Can't that... I dunno, qualify as a forfeit on her part?"

Their host shook his head sadly, smiled a bright smile, and patted Washington on the head genially. "Nope! Into the buses, everyone!"

**4:01 PM.**

The air in Team Victory's bus was stiff. New Mexico was sitting on the couch with Hawaii, heads in their hands. "This bites," Hawaii muttered, to which New Mexico nodded his head sadly. "Yeah, man. We're the first team to lose twice."

Hawaii looked sadly at the floor. And then... his face grew bright. "Yo... how 'bout I don't vote for you, and you don't vote for me?"

New Mexico gave Hawaii a fist bump. "Deal. I wasn't gonna vote for you anyways, dude. But... man, who _should_ be voted out?"

Washington crept in, and headed straight for the microwave. "Yo! Washington!" Hawaii called. "Who do you think we should vote off?"

His hand was frozen on the Easy-Mac. "Um..." he stammered. "I'm not really sure. The obvious choice would be Montana, but... guys, she's really good at athletic stuff, and most of these challenges are physical, from what I've seen."

New Mexico looked around, eyes obscured by his shades. "Where is Montana, anyway?"

"In the hospital," Washington responded, pouring a packet of cheese into the Easy-Mac bowl. "Rhode Island Hospital. I'd hate to think about what happens if she's put out of action..."

Hawaii glanced around, and then leaned forward furtively, whispered, "Yeah, but... what if she _does_ get put out of action? We can't count on her being alright, bro. We gotta vote soon, anyways."

Arizona looked up. She had been sitting at the kitchen table the entire time, unnoticed by the others. "It wasn't her fault that she collapsed like that," she explained. "If anything, we should be trying to help her to get well again."

"I have to agree," New Mexico immediately stated, looking over at Arizona, who smiled appreciatively. Hawaii rolled his eyes, as the microwave timer went off.

**7:00 PM.**

"Having a good Saturday, campers?" Chris teased, as the occupants of Team Victory's bus cautiously climbed out into the parking lot of a gas station near the border of Connecticut. "You guys know how this works," their host continued. "I call your name, you get snacks, everyone's happy except one person, who will be leaving and never returning. Ever. Joining us, finally, is... Montana!"

Montana climbed out of the back of an ambulance, looking a little pale but otherwise fine. She smiled nervously, and sat down on the pavement with everyone else. "I will begin!" Chris yelled, smiling. "In rapid fire succession this time! Arizona, California, Idaho, Nevada, New Mexico! You five can share this bag of candy. Zero votes for all of you guys!"

A heavy bag of assorted candy was tossed into the hands of New Mexico. Chris smiled maliciously, and turned to the remaining four contestants: Oregon, Hawaii, Washington, and Montana. "All of _you_ guys..." he began, "...got at least one vote. Time for the drama."

Chris proceeded to stand there for approximately five seconds, holding three individual Kit Kats. "Hawaii!" he declared. "One vote, man. Here you go."

Hawaii caught it gratefully, leaving only Oregon, Washington, and Montana. Oregon's eyes were watering up, as Chris just stood there, smiling. "Washington! You get the penultimate Kit Kat! Just one vote, man. Haha! This is fun."

It was down to just Oregon and Montana. Oregon was glancing around, terrified, evidently wondering why anyone would have voted for him. Montana didn't look surprised that she was one of the last two. "The final Kit Kat goes to..." Chris began tauntingly.

"Oregon! One vote for you, dude. I was just kidding."

Oregon sighed visibly, leaving Montana devoid of any candy. "Sorry, Montana," Chris said, shrugging. "You got like six votes. You're going home. The Cab for the losers awaits."

Montana stood up, glaring at everyone. It seemed that she was not angry at her teammates for voting her off, but she was more angry at the fact that she was the fifth person on the entire show to be voted off. As she walked off towards the taxi, she yelled, "You guys might want to think of having a name change! Team Victory isn't so fitting anymore."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_20_mp3**

"Am I surprised I got voted off? No. I don't really think so. I actually _tried_ out there, and what does that get me? A face full of mud and a hospital bill for my parents. I think I'm most pissed that I was the fifth person booted off this show, out of, like, what, fifty? And I know I'm better than some of those losers on the other teams. Anyways. It's been fun."

Montana

**7:04 PM.**

Chris just smiled at her as she walked past, amused. "Well! Eight more contestants on this team," he reminded the remaining contestants. "Who will be the next to go down? Find out next Wednesday! The excitement! The drama! The commercialization of fifty teenagers' dreams! Hahahaha! Oh, god, I love this job."

**8:30 PM.**

"This is literal hell," Oregon groaned to himself from the interior of Team Victory's bus. Washington glanced over at him, while New Mexico just resumed making nachos. "Like... one by one, we get voted off," Oregon elaborated. "It's terrible. Do you know my odds of winning? They're like... one in fifty. What percentage is that, Washington?"

"Two percent."

"Right. That's like a ninety-eight percent chance of me getting kicked off this show. I mean, I try to be optimistic about... well... _everything_, but this... it's dehumanizing."

Washington nodded, staring up at the ceiling. "I know what you mean," he mumbled. "I think the reason she got voted off was that she didn't really... have any friends. Nobody really felt obliged to protect her, y'know?"

Oregon nodded slowly at that. "I... almost got voted off tonight. That could have been me." Washington scoffed at this, laughing. "She had six votes. You had one. I think Chris just wanted to get you riled up or whatever."

Oregon appeared disappointed. "So... to win at this, you're supposed to have friends to back you up, right?"

"Mm-hmm."

...

"Am I your friend?"

Washington looked over at Oregon, and hesitated. "Um. Yeah, you are. New Mexico's my friend, too,"

New Mexico smiled down at Washington. "Don't worry, guys," he declared, confidence radiating off of him, "we'll definitely win the next one. Just a minor setback, that's all."

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, and Montana.


	7. Risk

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, and Vermont.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wisconsin.

**EPISODE 6: RISK**

_"I __will_ find the perpetrator among you people. And it's not going to be pretty when I do." - North Dakota

**Wednesday, July 23rd, 2014. Glacier National Park, Montana. 8:12 AM.**

The five buses slowly made their way through the Rocky Mountains in northern Montana. Ten percent of the contestants had already been voted off, and it had been around two and a half weeks. However, no longer was the atmosphere in the buses stiff, and awkward; people had begun to finally get to know their fellow teammates.

In Team Democracy's bus, you could find Massachusetts, Maine, and Connecticut playing board games, since "there's nothing else to do around here, anyways."

In Team Touchdown's bus, chances are, Alabama and Texas would be debating the upcoming 2014 football schedule, while the girls either sat around chatting, or avoiding each other completely.

In Team Dakota's bus, North Dakota might be getting her nails done, or reading a magazine. Everyone else on that team doesn't matter; why would they?

In Team Victory's bus, board games were played, books were read, and people generally had a good time getting to know each other. California demonstrated the multiple uses of nail polish remover, and New Mexico played ping pong with the wall.

Not much happened in Team America's bus. Most of its occupants were too timid to take up conversation, and those that weren't... tended to act out _too_ much.

"West Virginia!" Virginia yelled one morning. "Little man. Stop it. You don't need to disinfect my bed."

The red headed kid looked up, evidently surprised. "Oh! Hi, Virginia! Good morning! Don't worry, this is non-toxic disinfectant! For you, anyways. _HEH!_"

Virginia glared at him. "I'mma count to five, and you'd better be outta this room or I _swear_ I'll kick you right off this bus. One."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_21_mp3**

"From my time on this show so far, I've learned that Virginia is a really tough nut to crack! I've used the three P's, though! Pursue, Politeness, and Persistence! Emphasis on the persistence, _HEH_! I just know me and her are going to the top two. We've got skills!"

West Virginia

**8:14 AM.**

"I'm going! _I'm going_!"

West Virginia was literally thrown out the door of Virginia's bunk room. "I'm warnin' you, little dude," she muttered, glaring at him. "You keep away from me. I've just about had it with you. Alright?"

The kid looked up at Virginia with big eyes. "But, I-" he began, only to be cut off by the door slamming right in front of him.

**9:30 AM.**

"Looks cool out there, doesn't it? Like something from Skyrim..." Connecticut mentioned, staring out the fogged window of Team Democracy's bus. Outside, tall, snow capped mountains dominated the scene. Four teenagers sat at the kitchen table, playing Risk: Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Maine. "Your move," Massachusetts mumbled, glancing up at Connecticut, who asked, "Oh. How many troops do I get this round, again?"

"Seven," Maine informed him. The troops were placed in the majority of Africa, which was the base of his operations. "Okay..." Connecticut murmured, looking around the board. "Alright... my Egypt attacks your Middle East, Maine."

They rolled, only to discover that Connecticut had lost that battle. Smiling satisfactorily, Maine scooped up a few of his troops, and put them back in the box. Connecticut groaned, and looked out the window again. "I'm bored. When do you guys think we'll get there?"

Massachusetts glanced out the window, as Vermont placed down troops in Australia. "I dunno," Massachusetts responded. "Chris said we're going to 'Glacier National Park'. Any of you guys want a Hot Pocket? I'm thinking of heating up some right now."

"I'll take one," Connecticut called out. "Do you want me to move for you, Massachusetts?"

Massachusetts just nodded, handling the plastic wrappers carefully. At that moment, New York walked in, still wearing his pajamas, and yawning. "Mornin'," he greeted, sitting down on the couch. "You guys ready for today's challenge?"

Maine glanced upwards. "Y'know, I bet we're gonna have to-"

The bus suddenly slammed to a stop, throwing everyone onto the floor as a horrible, gut wrenching sound of twisted metal could be heard. The Risk board game was all over the floor now. Connecticut looked up cautiously from his uncomfortable position on the ground, and called out, "What happened?!"

New York stood up carefully, as the rest of Team Democracy crept into the living quarters. "Oh, god, we hit a fallen tree," he muttered, looking out the front window. Their driver, a college intern, had already gotten out, and was inspecting the damage.

**9:42 AM.**

Chris stood in front of forty-five teenagers in the foggy lower reaches of Glacier National Park. "Good morning, contestants," he yelled, although his expression was more of a scowl than his famous grin. "Due to recent events, we're having our schedule changed... and one of our drivers fired."

Everyone shifted around uncomfortably. Team Democracy's bus, leading the other four buses, had hit a fallen tree, and was smoking slightly from the grill. "We're going to go camping!" Chris McLean announced, surveying the contestants. "Each team has the task of going out to their individual destinations, sleeping there for the night, and then returning by eight AM sharp tomorrow. However... if you leave anybody behind, or don't make it to your campsite, your team goes to voting. If nobody is left behind, and you all make it here by eight, then this has the potential to be a no-vote challenge! Hahaha! Yeah. As if _all_ of you guys'll make it here by eight. Anyways! You guys wanna know the catch?"

A few people nodded cautiously, as Chris grinned maliciously at them. "You guys don't get any supplies!" he announced. "You must find your own food, make your own shelter, and _make it through the night_. Sound like fun?"

California shuddered involuntarily at the thought. A few people glanced around at each other warily. Chris unrolled a few sheets of paper, and tossed one to each team. "This is a map to your destination!" he yelled. "Each team has a different camp site. We've got hidden cameras there, just to make sure you actually go to the right place. Alright?"

Everyone stood there for a few moments, doing nothing. "What are you guys waiting for?" Chris yelled, waving his arms and grinning. "Go! I'll see you guys here at eight AM sharp."

North Dakota groaned, and grabbed her team's map. "Where are we going?" she asked. "South Dakota. Look at it. Tell me where we're going."

South Dakota timidly took it, eyeing her sister. "Um... it looks like we're on a mountain east of here... Chris, where are we on this map?"

Chris shrugged, smiling. "I dunno. Figure it out. It's not that hard."

Massachusetts tapped the map. "Right there!" he informed his team, pointing at a yellow road on the map. "This is us. Somewhere along this road. Now... our campsite is west of here. Which way is west?"

New York pointed behind Massachusetts. "Since the sun is up there, and it's morning, west should be the opposite direction," he reasoned. "And the map says we're on a river or something, so we can just follow that once we find it."

With that, Team Democracy ran off into the forest. "Isn't it more important that we find food and stuff first?" New Mexico cautiously reminded his team. "Like, we got a full day 'til we need to be back here. We can't get tired out an' hungry before we even get there. Let's focus on that first."

The four remaining teams began debating furiously over where they were on their maps, and where their campsites were relative to their current positions. Amid the yelling, North Dakota shouted, "Team, we're going this way. I don't care whether or not you guys think it's a good idea, because it is. Go."

Team Dakota resignedly marched off in a general eastern direction. Most of the other teams weren't entirely sure where they were on the map, but all eventually agreed on a single direction to go.

**10:11 AM.**

Ten AM. Team Dakota walked through the forest at a quick pace up the mountain. After a few minutes of silent marching, Utah stammered, "Um... can we stop to rest and figure out where we are?"

North Dakota glared at him. "No speaking unless spoken to. Have you completely forgotten the five laws of this team?"

**1. No speaking unless spoken to by either North Dakota or South Dakota.**

**2. All members of Team Dakota are to remain in their bunk rooms unless given permission to leave.**

**3. If you are told by North Dakota to vote off a certain teammate, then not doing so is treason against the team.**

**4. No conversing with any members of the other teams.**

**5. The breaking of any of these laws is an immediate vote-off.**

Utah shook his head sadly, and looked back down at the ground. North Dakota looked satisfied, and then asked her sister, "How much farther?"

South Dakota frowned, looking at the map. "I'm not sure. It's supposed to be right around here, but this mountain is a lot taller than I was expecting."

North Dakota scowled, and looked up at the sky, letting her beautiful black hair rest on her shoulders. "Hmm," she mused. "It looks like it's going to rain soon."

**12:21 PM.**

"C'mon! Let's _go_!" New York shouted to his teammates in a horrible rainstorm, holding his hands over his head. "The river's around here somewhere. We can make a shelter once we get there!"

Connecticut slipped, falling into the mud. "Ugh..." he muttered, wiping his shirt free of the sludge. "This is disgusting. I maintain my viewpoint that Chris is an asshole."

Massachusetts nodded, grinning at that. "You'd bet I'm with you on that, man. I think Chris _knew_ it was gonna rain today."

"Over there!" Delaware suddenly shouted, pointing at a clearing near a roaring river. "I think that's our spot!"

**2:59 PM.**

Three PM. Team Victory.

Oregon sat down resignedly on the rough forest floor, ringing out his clothes. "This is the spot, huh?" he asked, out of breath. Washington nodded in reply, picking up sticks. "Shoot..." he muttered. "This wood is too wet to burn. New Mexico! Try to find wood that was sheltered from the rain."

A few moments later, a shout from outside the clearing called, "Can't find any! This stuff is mucky."

Washington sighed. "Maybe we can set out a bunch of wood to dry before nightfall or something. Does anyone here know how to start a fire?"

Hawaii raised his hand, looking up. "I know how. It takes a little time, but if you've got enough dry wood, it's easy."

He received a wide smile in reply from Washington. "Fabulous. We've found our camp location. Now we just need to survive the night. Who wants to go with me hunting for a rabbit or something?"

Nobody volunteered. California looked slightly disgusted. "Can't we have, like, salad or something?" she inquired. Washington shook his head stiffly. "Um, no. We can't, unless you're willing to eat a bunch of random leaves from the trees. Nobody wants to come with me?"

Oregon sighed, and stood up. "I'll go with you," he announced. "It would suck if you fell down a cliff or something and broke your leg."

"Come on, then. I've got a sharp stick right here. Let's go."

**5:20 PM.**

Five PM. Team Touchdown.

The nine team members all sat around a roaring fire as the crickets chirped around them. Two frogs and a rabbit were roasting above the fire, impaled by a long, thin stick that Alabama was turning. "This is terrific," Arkansas complimented, chowing down on a rabbit leg. Florida nodded. "I never thought I'd say this," she managed to get out between bites, "but y'all are actually good at something for once. Want some?"

Florida offered South Carolina the remainder of her frog leg, which she turned down with a strained face. "Um. No thank you. I don't want to eat animals like that."

"It's good!" Texas told her, getting the rest of the slightly damp firewood ready. "You'll be hungry tonight. How's the shelter comin', y'all?"

Louisiana, Tennessee, and Georgia had all been assigned the task of constructing a stable, rainproof shelter. "Um..." Tennessee stammered. "Not so good. It keeps... falling? I can't get it to stand up straight. Oh, my gosh, I see a lizard."

Alabama approached, peering down at Tennessee's feet. "Huh. Y'all think it's edible?" he asked, squinting at it. South Carolina moaned at that, and laid on her back.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_22_mp3**

"That was one of the most fun challenges I've done so far on this show. Like, seriously? We got to go _huntin'_. I'd like to see them northerners try that. An' we got to eat _frogs_! Better than... Poptarts, or whatever we've been eatin' for the past few weeks. Y'know, it's good to get some protein, y'all."

Alabama

**6:12 PM.**

Six PM. Oregon and Washington crept through the darkening forest, glancing around warily at whatever might jump out of the shadows. "See anything?" Washington whispered, glancing around. Oregon shook his head, terrified. "If I die," he whispered, "and you survive, tell my family I love them."

Washington looked skeptical, and armed his sharpened stick a little higher at the darkness. "We'll be fine, don't worry. Just trust me, alright? Just... think about everyone's faces when we get back, holding a rabbit or a fox or something. I can assure you that you'll be a hero, man."

Oregon's face lit up a little more at that. "Hmm. I guess so. I just... I just _hate_ the dark. It's terrifying."

Washington glanced at his companion, and said, "Well, okay... just think about when we get back, Hawaii will have made that campfire. Think of how warm that'll be. Stay with me, here. If we just catch an animal off guard, we can definitely get it."

Suddenly, Oregon pointed off through a gap in the trees. "Look!" he whispered. "I see something. It looks big."

Washington squinted. "Okay. I'll use the spear on it, alright? It's got a little rock on it that might stun it or stab it or something."

The bespectacled teen threw the spear with all his might, which slammed into the hulking, furry mass. It rose, and Oregon's eyes went huge. "Oh, my god. That can't be... it... is that a _bear_?!"

"JUST _RUN._"

**7:11 PM.**

Seven PM. Team Dakota's team, marching tiredly through the forest. It was growing very dark now, matching North Dakota's shortening patience.

"South Dakota. Where are we? You said we took the right turn."

"I thought we did!" she yelled, glancing over the map. "There's not many landmarks on this thing! Our campsite is somewhere along the mountainside. Where _are_ we?"

The nine teenagers all stopped, looking around terrified at the woods around them. "I don't like this at all," Iowa muttered, staring around at the darkness with huge eyes. North Dakota glared at him, and then yelled, "Well, what do you want me to do about it? We can't have been the _only_ team that never found their campsite."

South Dakota yawned, and looked at the leaf-strewn forest floor. "Maybe we could just camp here," she reasoned, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "We've been walking around for the entire day. We could just... I don't know, get our rest, and then find our campsite."

North Dakota sighed at her sister, and sat down on the ground. "Okay, fine. Does anyone here know how to make a fire? If you do, I can assure you that you won't be voted off anytime soon."

Nobody volunteered, despite the tempting incentive. The moon began to dip below the horizon, a slight waning crescent that only dampened their spirits. It was starting to get late.

**8:01 PM.**

"Well, this isn't so bad, right?" Michigan asked, sitting around a dying campfire with his nine other teammates in the middle of the woods. Ohio shook his head slowly, and rubbed his eyes. "You're wrong on that. We don't have any food _or_ shelter."

Michigan sighed, but pointed out, "But we _are_ at our campsite. And it's not like we... _need_ food and shelter to win the challenge. All we need to do is to get back to Chris at eight AM tomorrow."

Ohio glanced at Michigan. "Sounds a little too optimistic. Do we even know where we are? I wouldn't be surprised if we got lost before even reaching Chris."

A scoff came from Michigan. "Don't worry, Ohio. We'll make it. No need for so much pessimism."

Kentucky had his hands full of berries that he'd picked. A few people were glancing at it, but didn't seem willing to try the random berries. "You guys sure you don't want any?" he asked, mouth full. "Because they're good! I don't know what kind they are, but they're good! They kind of taste like _figs_."

Virginia wrinkled her nose at that. "Um, nah, Kentucky, you can keep 'em. I'm just ready to get this challenge _over_ with."

**9:48 PM.**

Nine PM. The middle of the woods.

Oregon and Washington were sitting up on a tree limb, dangling precariously over a rather pissed off bear. Oregon kept glancing nervously below them, while Washington was lying on a branch against the trunk, eyes closed, as if trying to sleep. "I'm telling you," Oregon whispered, "it's not just going to go away. Those bears are patient. We can just... we can take him out, both of us. You can make another spear or something, and I'll make a lot of noise, and-"

Washington was just shaking his head. "No. We wait. And I don't think I can take out a giant bear like that on my own, dude. There's too much _risk_. In a situation like this, you wait for your enemy to slip up. To fall asleep, in this case. Now, try and get some rest. I'll protect you."

Oregon continued glancing fearfully at the bear, which was pacing around the tree, growling softly.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_22_mp3**

"Oh, my gawd, that was one of the most terrifying and uncomfortable nights I've ever had. My clothes got so dirty. I thought I was going to die. I thought Washington was going to die. And if we didn't die, I knew that we'd be voted off regardless. Probably me, since I'm not useful to our team in any way."

Oregon

**11:25 PM.**

Eleven PM. Team Victory's camp.

Hawaii had since gotten a fire started, but everyone was sitting around, stomachs growling. "I'm tellin' you guys," New Mexico pressed on, "they got lost or something. We need to send out a rescue party, or else our team is gonna lose."

Arizona nodded a stiff agreement to that. "What if Washington's injured or something?" she asked. "You guys don't expect Oregon to patch him up, do you? I mean, he's a sweet kid, but I'm not sure if he'd be up to that. They could both be in danger."

Hawaii groaned, and rolled over on his pile of leaves. "Or, they could be hauling a giant deer or something back for us. If we send people out to rescue them, those people could get lost, or worse. They're probably on their way back right now."

**3:43 AM.**

Three AM. The middle of the woods.

Oregon was sitting on a tree branch, sleeping peacefully. Washington was keeping a close eye on the bear below, but fighting back the sleep. His position was uncomfortable, to say the least. Every few minutes, Washington had to stop Oregon from just rolling straight out of the tree. He squinted below, and then suddenly nudged Oregon awake, who didn't seem too pleased.

"...what? What is it?"

"Look. The bear. It's asleep."

The hulking mass of fur was indeed lying down below their tree. It produced heavy, slow breathing, and showed every sign of being sound asleep. Oregon was wide awake now, and grabbed onto Washington's arm. "We're not really going to sneak down now, are we?" he whispered, looking down at the bear. "I don't think we have a choice," Washington responded, already stealthily climbing down. "It's either this, or we get voted off. C'mon. Just don't make noise."

A few labored minutes went by, in which Washington and Oregon cautiously climbed down ten feet to the forest floor. Indeed, the bear seemed completely out of it, but any false step, and certain death was inevitable. A minute later, and Washington carefully stepped down onto the ground, cautiously stepping away from the bear. Oregon followed, after almost falling, and the two crept away, right when-

SNAP. Oregon stepped on a twig, and the ensuing noise surprised him, sending him toppling to the forest floor roughly. "Oh, _fff_... get up! Get up!" Washington urged him, when the bear awoke, looking angry as ever. "Hurry!" Washington yelped, pulling a terrified Oregon up. "Come on!_ Run_!"

**4:13 AM.**

Four AM. Team Democracy's camp.

The fire had since died out, but the nine campers had all enjoyed a meal of cooked fish from the river. The shelters they had constructed were sturdy; Vermont had a unique knack for that sort of thing, apparently. Most of the campers were in a fitful half-sleep, but Connecticut lifted his head from the bed of leaves. He glanced around; he was sharing his shelter with Massachusetts, Vermont, and Delaware. "I gotta pee," he whispered. Massachusetts lifted his head groggily, and muttered, "Go, then. There's nothing out there that can hurt you. No risk."

Cautiously, Connecticut rose, and climbed out of his shelter. To the east, the sky began to brighten, as Connecticut tromped off away from the tents to pee hurriedly, right when a feminine yelp rose from the trees in the distance. Connecticut squinted into the darkness. "Who's there?" he called.

Two teenagers came sprinting into their camp, startling everybody who wasn't sound asleep. "Agh! Who the hell are you guys?" New York shouted, coming out of his tent, and glaring angrily at the two contestants. Oregon and Washington, looking utterly terrified to see this many people at once. "Ohhh, no," Washington gasped, staring around at the nine team members of Team Democracy. "Oh no. No, no, no, this can't be happening. Get _everyone up a tree! Right no_-"

The roar of a bear came from not far off, startling everyone. "Oh, _shit_!" New York screamed. "Everyone! _Up a tree_! _Now_!"

Everyone sprang into action, quickly scurrying up the nearest pine tree. A huge black bear burst into the clearing, roaring deafeningly at the eleven teenagers, who were terrified out of their wits. Within seconds, everyone was just out of reach from the bear, just in time.

**4:15 AM.**

Chris, in his bathrobe, sat in a large green tent, munching on some potato chips and squinting at a set of TV monitors. "Hmm," he mused, looking up. "Yo! Intern! You think it's a good idea to have all those kids in the middle of the woods like this?"

A college intern looked up at Chris with a terrified expression, and shrugged in response. Chris turned his attention to the display once more, and laughed at Team Democracy's monitor. "Ohhh, man. It's a good thing I've got forty-five waivers right here. This is hilarious."

**4:16 AM.**

"What do we _do_?!" Pennsylvania screamed, hanging onto a tree limb with her life. Massachusetts appeared terrified, and elected to just climb higher up the pine tree. "This is _your fault_!" New York shouted at Washington and Oregon. "These two idiots from Team 'Victory' brought it here!"

"I'm _sorry_!" Oregon wailed, tears in his eyes, while Washington just looked annoyed. "We almost died, New York!" he yelled. "I didn't mean to come here! We were looking for Chris!"

New York groaned, and rolled his eyes. "Well, _fantastic work_, then. Good job. Because now we're _all gonna die_!"

"Wait!" Maine suddenly shouted, pointing at New Jersey. "He's got a matchbox! Don't you?"

New Jersey, who up until this point had just been hugging the tree with a horrified expression, looked confused. "I... I do, in my pocket, but I don't see why-"

"Give it here!" Maine yelled, and New Jersey tossed her the package of matches. She lit one, and said, "Bears hate smoke, and fire! If I light this box on fire, and then throw it down at it, it should go away!"

New York, still staring angrily at Washington, gave an exasperated shrug, and said, "Okay! Try it, Maine."

Maine dropped the lit match into the box, which promptly burst into flames in her hands. She shrieked, and dropped it, letting it fall onto the bear's head. It roared, swiped at its head, and tromped off into the woods. A few moments passed, where New York held a finger to his lips, listening out for the bear's receding roars. "I think it's gone!" he whispered, and hopped down on to the ground. "We need to get out of here," Massachusetts whispered, landing onto a bed of leaves cautiously. He continued, "It's almost morning, anyways. Come on. The road is east of here. Washington, Oregon," he turned on the two, "I like you guys, so you can come with us. Just don't expect us to coddle you two or anything, alright?"

Oregon nodded stiffly, eyes puffy, while New York glared at Massachusetts. "They were the ones to get us in this mess!" he yelled. "We leave them behind. They abandoned their team, anyways."

Massachusetts crossed his arms, and put on a stout expression. "They could die if they get left out here like that. You're not seriously expecting me to advocate people _dying_, are you? Besides... we _like_ their team. Remember? If we have to merge with a team... _we merge with theirs_."

New York evidently remembered a previous conversation, and sighed defeatedly. "Okay. Okay, fine. Sorry about earlier, Washington."

Washington didn't look impressed, but accepted the sentiment regardless. "It's okay. We were all scared. Now come on. I don't want to have to wait for that damned bear to come back."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_23_mp3**

"I sort of lost it there, but... still. I don't appreciate it when a different team tries to sabotage _my_ own."

New York

**7:11 AM.**

Seven AM. Team Victory, Team America, and Team Touchdown had almost all returned to the buses, except for Washington and Oregon. Chris was just standing there, grinning mischievously at the teenagers.

"Come on, Chris!" New Mexico proclaimed, on his knees in a pseudo-serious pose to get Chris's attention. "Just tell us where they are! Surely _you_ know."

Chris smiled at him, and shook his head silently. New Mexico sighed, and yelled, "Please, Chris! I... your TV shows are amazing! I've watched all your interviews! You're the most handsome and intelligent television host in North America! C'mon, I'm begging you here!"

Chris McLean nodded at him. "I have to agree with all of those statements. However, my lips are sealed, and so is the fate of your two missing teammates."

New Mexico let his head fall. "Well, that's it, then," he groaned. "We lost. _Again_. Forever, we will mourn the deaths of our two beloved team members: Washington and Ore-"

"We're here!" Oregon cried, running alongside Washington. Behind the two, Team Democracy tromped forwards. "_Yes_!" Hawaii cheered, jumping up and down. "They made it! What happened?"

"It's a long, long story," Washington gasped, panting. "It involves a bear. Are we the last team to get here?"

"Not quite!" Chris announced. "Team Dakota has yet to arrive. However, the four teams that _have_ made it here, nice going! You all made it to your campsites, and made it back here by eight!"

"Wait," Washington suddenly said, "Oregon and I didn't sleep at our campsites. That's okay?"

Chris nodded. "The only thing your team had to satisfy was that every member actually _made _it to the site, and back by here at eight. Oh, here they come now!"

From the depths of the woods, Team Dakota approached. Everyone was dirty, tired, and had the bleary stare of sleep deprivation in their eyes. "We made it..." North Dakota announced, gasping for air. "We made it. Finally. It's not even eight yet. No voting."

"That's where you're wrong, North Dakota," Chris declared, winking. "_You_ guys... never actually made it to your camp grounds. You slept in the middle of the woods about half a mile away from it. You nine never even came close. Which means... Team Dakota is the only team that goes through voting today! I knew this would happen."

Oregon breathed a sigh of relief, and collapsed on the pavement. "Oh, thank gawd," he muttered, wiping the dirt off of his form-fitting purple t-shirt. "No voting for us today. That's... that's nice."

Chris smiled his pearly whites, and waved. "Into the buses, people!" he announced. "This was a fun episode! I'll see you guys at the voting ceremony, Team Dakota!"

North Dakota groaned, running her hands through her hair. "Damn it," she muttered.

**11:12 AM.**

"Alright, who do we vote off this time?"

North Dakota and South Dakota stood alone in the middle of the living room of the rumbling bus. The hilly landscape flew by, but it went unnoticed by the churning of North Dakota's mind. "Um..." South Dakota stammered, thinking. "Apart from you and I, there's seven options."

"I don't like Iowa that much," North Dakota admitted, thinking to herself. "He complains a lot, and broke the laws."

South Dakota sighed at her sister, and mumbled, "Well... I mean, I guess we _can_ vote him off... do you want me to go tell everybody?"

North Dakota nodded. "Make sure they understand that if they _don't_ vote for Iowa, they're next on the list." she called.

**7:04 PM.**

The nine team members of Team Dakota all sat on the pavement around Chris in a parking lot right outside the entrance to Glacier National Park. Out of the nine, Iowa looked the most terrified, glancing around fearfully at his teammates. North Dakota appeared confident. "Good evening, Team Dakota!" Chris yelled, holding a bag of candy. "I've got cheap convenience store candy for you guys today. I'll just toss a handful to those who're staying in the game, alright? You guys know how this works. If you don't get candy, you have to leave, and you can _never_ come back! I'll begin..."

"Colorado! Kansas! Minnesota! Nebraska! Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah! _No votes_!"

A shower of candies rained upon the seven announced contestants. Only North Dakota and Iowa remained. North Dakota rolled her eyes, as if predicting this would happen. There were tears streaming down Iowa's face. Chris almost looked as if he pitied Iowa. "Um... the final candy goes to..." he muttered, avoiding eye contact with Iowa.

...

"North Dakota. Two votes."

"_Two_ votes?"

North Dakota turned to face her team angrily. "I understand Iowa voting for me," she yelled. "But _two_ votes? Which one of you voted for me? Well?"

Iowa stood, as Chris clapped a hand to his back. "Sorry, Iowa!" he said, looking almost concerned. "Your cab awaits. You got seven votes. Buh-bye!"

The kid walked shamefully to the taxi, trying to hide the fact that he was crying. North Dakota just stood and glared at her team. "I'm not impressed," she whispered harshly, looking at everyone in the eyes. "Not impressed at all. I _will_ find the perpetrator among you people. And it's not going to be pretty when I do."

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, and Iowa.

**aspiringAnimator - **Whoa! I was _not_ expecting this chapter to be this long. Five thousand words? That's the longest yet! We're already about one tenth of the way done. This is a long fic (and I kick myself for jumping into one this long) but it's certainly something I can handle, as so far I always finish chapters several days beforehand. Updates are still Wednesdays and weekends (usually Saturdays).

Who are _you _rooting for in this story? Vote at my profile! There's a poll at the top of the page. This helps me gauge which characters are the fan favorites, and also lets me know which characters I need to flesh out more. Thanks for reading! And welcome to the author's note, in which I get you guys up to date on things. I wasn't planning on making author's notes, as I think it looks not very pretty, but it's necessary sometimes. Make sure to follow, favorite, and review! It does mean a lot to me.


	8. Gotta Go Fast

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, and Vermont.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wisconsin.

**EPISODE 7: GOTTA GO FAST**

_"How does it feel to have already lost two challenges when Team America's lost zero?" - Chris_

**Saturday, July 26th, 2014. Cedar Rapids, Iowa. 7:52 AM.**

"It's so... _flat_ out there..."

Virginia gazed out the windows of Team Democracy's bus. Indeed, outside, flat farmlands seemed to extend as far as the eye could see. Ohio, sitting on the couch, glanced out the window. "It really is," he admitted. "You can, like... see the horizon off in the distance. It's weird."

Virginia nodded slowly to that, right as Maryland walked in the room. "The toilet's clogged," she said with a wrinkled nose. "Who did it?"

Ohio and Virginia exchanged glances. "Not us," Ohio decided. Virginia rolled her eyes, and resumed gazing out the window. "Maybe Kentucky did it," she muttered. "He's a weird one. It'd be just like him. Oh," she added, as Maryland was about to retreat to the bunk rooms, "don't ask him if he did it or not. He'll just deny it."

"I'll take note of that," Maryland deadpanned, and headed into the back of the bus.

**8:17 AM.**

"You ever worked on a farm, Al?" Texas asked a drowsy Alabama, who was glancing over the back of a football magazine. Alabama shook his head. "I told you. I'm from the city. I ain't never worked on no farm."

"Oh," Texas muttered, looking out the windows of the bus. "I figured, y'know, since you're from Bama an' all. Like, they got them cotton farms over there."

Alabama frowned. "Nah, man, not everywhere. There's a lot of corn, I'll tell you that."

"I bet Mississippi's worked on a farm," Texas suggested, walking over to the microwave. "I know you've got a thing for her, dude. Y'all were gazin' into each other's eyes. It was real romant-"

Alabama blushed furiously. "Shut up, Tex!" he yelled. "Damn, dude. I think you're just mad, 'cause no girl's got the hots for you. You gay or somethin'?"

Texas whipped around, brandishing a box of Cheerios. "I ain't a faggot," he said sternly. A set of eyebrows raised from Alabama. "Whatever, dude," he muttered, flipping the page of his magazine. "As long as you ain't got the hots for me."

Texas's fists were curled up, right when Mississippi walked into the room, holding an empty bottle of root beer. "Hey, y'all," she greeted, dropping the bottle into the trash can. Texas saw his moment, and loudly stated, "Oh, Mississippi, I think Alabama had somethin' he wanted to say to you."

Glares were thrown from Alabama. "Oh, uh, nah, it's nothin'," Texas nudged his friend, and continued, "Nah, you were just tellin' me! Go on, tell her."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_24_mp3**

"Alright, Tex is my friend an' all, but he goes over the edge sometimes. Know what I mean? Like, that whole thing with, um... Mississippi? Not cool. Dude makes a big fuss 'bout everything. Now, I'd _gladly_ have him as my friend over most of them string bean dudes from the other teams, don't get me wrong."

Alabama

**8:20 AM.**

"I, uh..." Alabama stammered for a moment. "I was thinkin' 'bout all them, um, farms out there, and, uh..." Mississippi's eyebrow traveled higher and higher up her forehead. "Uh..." Alabama mumbled. "...and, I was wonderin' if you'd ever... worked on a farm?"

Texas facepalmed. "Yeah, when I was like seven," Mississippi responded cheerily. "It ain't fun."

A sigh escaped from Texas. "You think that's funny?" Mississippi snapped, turning on him. "Nah," Texas responded. "I'm just gonna do a bro a favor here, and tell you that Alabama is crazy for you. He fancies you. You're the light in his world. In this utterly _shitty_ game show, you're the only thing keepin' him goin'. He's liked you for a real long time."

Mississippi's eyes were wide. Alabama appeared apprehensive. "Wait, is that true?" she asked, flustered, turning to Alabama. "You actually _like_ me?"

Alabama glanced around, and evidently didn't see a way out of this. He nodded sheepishly. Mississippi began flapping her hands. "Oh, my gawsh," she yelled. "You're so sweet! I... I need to go. I'll... I'll see you, um... later, Alabama!"

She ran out of the room, towards the bunks. Texas held his hands out, and declared, "How was _that_?"

Alabama glared at Texas. "You have no class," he seethed. "But... thanks, dude. Damn... she left in a hurry."

Texas shrugged. "Typical reaction, I'd guess. She'll be back. She's havin' a freak down or somethin'."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_25_mp3**

"Oh, my gawsh! I had no idea he liked me like that! Oooh, the boys back home are gonna be so _jealous_! Me an' Alabama, we click, just like that. I can already tell."

Mississippi

**10:40 AM.**

Team Democracy's bus. After the incident in Montana, the bus's engine had been fixed, and another driver had been hired, this one slightly older, and more experienced. Delaware was teaching Connecticut how to sketch, while New Jersey sat with them, complimenting Delaware's appearance every few minutes.

"How does this look?" Connecticut asked, showing Delaware the sketchbook. It appeared that he had attempted drawing a rabbit, but the lining was poor, and there were smudges everywhere. "Um, better," Delaware said truthfully. She squinted at the drawing. "You draw good eyes, but I think you might want to work on the sketching part a little more. Remember, never press down hard with the pencil."

"You sure do know a lot about drawing," New Jersey suddenly blurted, after adjusting his shades. "Like... you're a pro."

Delaware glanced at him warily. "Right..." she mumbled. "Anyways... Connecticut, try again. You've definitely improved over the past few days. Keep it up."

"Thanks," Connecticut muttered shyly, and resumed drawing. New Jersey sat awkwardly for a few more moments, and then declared, "Well, I'm gonna make some macaroni and cheese. Delaware, d'you want any?"

"No, thanks. I'm good."

Connecticut raised his hand. "I might want some."

New Jersey glared at Connecticut. "Actually, I think I'm just gonna make some for myself," he decided, standing up and walking to the small kitchen. Connecticut glanced up briefly, and muttered, "Well, alright. Make up your mind, then."

"Good morning," Massachusetts chimed, walking into the room and wearing his sweater-vest, as always. He adjusted his glasses, and glanced down at the parchment that Connecticut was tracing on. "What are you drawing?" he asked, evidently interested.

"Oh, um..." Connecticut mumbled, partially covering his work with a hand. "It's nothing."

A moment of silence went by. "It's a... rabbit?" Massachusetts questioned, squinting at the paper. Connecticut sheepishly nodded a confirmation. "Ah," Massachusetts remarked. "Well, are you guys ready for today's challenge? I'm not sure what it's going to be, but... should be interesting."

Delaware leaned back in her chair, and checked her watch. "Anything's better than getting chased by bears, that's for sure," she commented, soliciting a chuckle from Connecticut.

**11:52 AM.**

Chris stood in the hot July sun in the middle of a field. The five buses had been parked side by side, and the forty-four occupants had filtered outside. Chris seemed slightly weary from almost a full month of driving, but still wore his award-winning smile. "Good morning, contestants!" he barked, holding a wrench. "Today, like all challenge days, is a special day!"

New Jersey groaned loudly, along with a few other contestants. "Shush!" Chris yelled, holding up a finger. "You don't even know what it is you're doing yet! Today... we're going to be building _cars_."

Around a dozen jaws dropped at that. A few people seemed interested, however. Chris grinned, and continued, "In this junk pile, you can find enough parts to get your vehicle started. There's also paint and things if you want to go out in style. Your frames are over there!"

He pointed at five rusty metal contraptions that only had a steering wheel, an engine, and the axles. "Tools are over there! For welding and stuff," Chris added slightly unnecessarily, pointing at another pile. "You guys have exactly _three hours_ to complete your design! And remember... it needs to be able to work. Chop-chop, kids. I'm going to go grab some lunch."

The forty-four contestants just stood there for a moment, unable to comprehend the task that was ahead. Did Chris _actually_ expect them to build a working car just from a frame and some scrap metal?

**11:59 AM.**

"This is absolutely ridiculous..." Washington muttered, checking over a rusty metal tube from the pile. "Hey, it ain't so bad," Idaho told him, inspecting the nozzle of a welder. "We get to build cars from scratch!"

"Yeah, exactly. We have to build cars from scratch," Washington repeated, throwing down the pipe. Team Touchdown, however, was faring slightly better.

"I'm tellin' y'all," Texas proclaimed, standing beside Team Touchdown's vehicle. "I've got _experience_ with bein' a mechanic. I used to fix up trucks that looked worse than this."

South Carolina appeared skeptical. "You sure you know what you're doin'?" she asked, glancing at the heap of rusted junk. "Look's kinda dangerous. I sure wouldn't want to go anywhere _near_ some of that stuff."

"Nah, it's real simple," Texas assured her. "You just put 'em together, and weld 'em, to make the metal stick. Yo! Al! You wanna give me a hand, here?"

Alabama had his arm around Mississippi's shoulder, and was pointing out interestingly-shaped clouds. Every few moments a giggle escaped from either of them. Texas rolled his eyes, and got back to work.

**12:20 PM.**

"I know a thing or two about welding, North Dakota, don't worry," a confident Colorado claimed to his team. North Dakota was evidently impressed. "You can ski _and_ you can weld? We're keeping you, as long as you don't mess this up. South Dakota! How's the engine doing?"

South Dakota was sitting in the frame, turning the key over and over again. "It won't start up!" she wailed. "There's fuel in it, but there's something wrong with the engine, I think. Does anyone think they can help?"

Utah chimed in, "Yeah, I'm a race car driver. I can fix it."

All eyes turned on him. "What?"

Utah stared back. "I... what?" he asked, slightly disturbed. "I drive stock cars. It's a lot of fun."

"Um... okay?" North Dakota said slowly, eyeing Utah with distrust. "We'll put that to the test, then. If you can fix whatever's wrong with that engine, then you get on my good side."

**12:41 PM.**

"Alright, this is officially hopeless," New Hampshire from Team Democracy decided, staring at a pile of scrap metal. "How are we supposed to make an actual... an actual _moving vehicle_ out of _this_ garbage?"

New York sighed in response, and sat on the ground with his head in his hands. "I don't know. I have no idea why Chris expects us to be able to know this kind of stuff. Most people here are _sixteen_, for crying out loud. The majority of the contestants probably don't even know what a trigonometric ratio is. You figured out how the welder works, Massachusetts?"

Massachusetts was sitting on a pile of tires, inspecting the instrument carefully. "It looks like you pull this trigger right here!" he called, indicating a small plastic trigger near the nozzle. "And then white-hot flames spurt out. I'm not sure how that's going to help us get this thing up and running, though... Chris is out of his mind."

New York nodded in agreement, throwing down a metal rod. "Argh! This is impossible."

**1:12 PM.**

One hour in. A cheer went up from Team America, as they got their engine up and running finally. "Looks like our no-loss streak is just gonna continue!" Wisconsin announced with a satisfied smile. "All that's left is tune ups and making the hull of the car. Michigan! You put those tires on yet?"

"Just about!" Michigan grunted, lying on his stomach and inspecting the axles. "There's a problem with making them line up with the braking pad. I'll have it fixed in no time."

Ohio rolled his eyes, glancing at his teammate. "I'm telling you, dude, you need to replace them. You can't just line them up again like that. Don't you know anything about how cars work?"

Michigan glanced at Ohio suspiciously. "Like it or not, I'm fixing it. Don't worry. Focus on your _own_ task."

"Good work, y'all!" Virginia cheered, giving a thumbs up to those who were working tirelessly on her team's vehicle. "With this kinda attitude, I'm absolutely sure we've got this challenge in the bag. Keep up the good work."

**1:34 PM.**

Oregon was painting the side of Team Victory's car with an elaborate red, orange, and yellow design. For the most part, the hull had been attached, and the engine was up and running. As New Mexico tinkered with tightening the wheels, Arizona approached Oregon, looking at the intricate design. "Oooh! Looks cute," she complimented, glancing over the pattern. "You think we'll get points for style?"

"I hope so," Oregon mumbled, dipping his paintbrush into the orange paint can once more. "Either way, it should boost... motivation, or something." He smiled, and finished with a flourish, as Washington approached from behind. "I like that!" he stated, evidently impressed. "We're doing really, really well. How're those wheels faring, New Mexico?"

"Alright," he grunted, hands oily as he fidgeted with a wrench at a wheel. "They're kind of rusted, but it's all good! Nothin' _we_ can't handle."

Washington nodded slowly. "Alright. Since Chris specifically stated that the cars need to work... it's obvious that someone's going to have to drive it, whether that's in a race, or what. Any volunteers?"

"I'll drive!" Hawaii decided, looking up from the engine he was tuning up. Washington grinned brightly, and adjusted his glasses. "Fabulous teamwork. I love it. You guys are all the best."

**1:40 PM.**

"Having fun?" an amused Chris asked the members of Team Democracy. Most members were just sitting on the ground, in front of the rusted frame of a broken down car. Connecticut, lying on his back, shook his head sadly. "That's a real shame!" Chris decided with a smile, straightening up. "I guess you guys are okay with losing, then?"

Massachusetts glanced around at his team. Only New York, Delaware, and Maine were helping him with putting on the hull. "Y'know, you guys could help," he mumbled heatedly. "We can't do this on our own."

"I would if I knew how," New Jersey explained, lying on his stomach and playing with a scurrying ladybug. "Really, I would. I just think I would, um... get in the way. Yeah, that works..."

New York glared at the team members who were just sitting on the ground. "The reason we haven't won a _single_ challenge so far," he seethed, "is because all the other teams don't have lazy contestants. Look at Team Dakota, for crying out loud. Every single person on their team is at least doing _something_. Sure, they might have been forced to do so, but still. Because of that, _they're not going to lose_. You, there. Vermont. C'mon and help us."

Vermont glanced upwards, terrified at the members of his team, and shook his head quickly. New York sighed. "You haven't said a single thing. At all. On this show so far. Ever."

"He's mute," Connecticut murmured, eyes closed with his hands behind his head. "Don't berate people for being different. Next thing we know, you'll be making fun of Massachusetts because he's gay."

"Bisexual!" Massachusetts corrected, concentrating on welding another piece of the hull onto the frame. New York narrowed his eyes at Connecticut. "First off, I'm from New York City," he began. "There are more lunatics per square mile there than anywhere else in the world. I've had _lots_ of experience with people being different. My best friend is a cross-dresser. My History teacher was a Pastafarian. What I _haven't_ had experience with is people not feeling like they should help out. Now come on, get up, and help us weld."

Connecticut groaned, and sat up sleepily. "Okay. Okay, fine," he decided. "I'll help out. Jesus."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_26_mp3**

"I don't really see the big deal with not being able to pitch in. New York thinks it's a choice. I don't know how to make a car! None of us do! Why does he expect us to instantly be able to help out when we can't? He's being unreasonable. And it's not New York's problem if Vermont doesn't want to talk."

Connecticut

**2:09 PM.**

Two hours in. A green camouflage design was being painted on Team Touchdown's car, as most of the hull was completely constructed. Georgia led the painting process, aided by Arkansas, Florida, and Louisiana. Texas was tinkering on the engine, making some last-minute adjustments, while Alabama and Mississippi were in their own little world.

"Hey!" Texas snapped, looking up at Alabama and Mississippi, who were cuddling cutely, sitting on a pile of tires. "Er..." Texas corrected himself, "...yo, Bama! I wanna know what you think 'bout this engine adjustment."

Alabama groaned, pecked Mississippi on the cheek, and walked over. "What's up, y'all?" he asked, glancing back at Mississippi every few moments.

"Well," Texas began, "I've experimented with pokin' holes in the muffler to make the engine louder. Y'know, to intimidate the other teams. But now some kinda fluid is escapin' from it, an' I'm not sure - _hey__!_"

Alabama had wandered back over to Mississippi, who was waiting rather impatiently. Texas opened his mouth to call him back, but decided against it at the last moment. He sighed, and continued to tinker on the engine.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_27_mp3**

"Man... Alabama's the only dude I actually _like_ on my team. Now, I respect his choice to hang with his girl, don't get me wrong. I would'a done the same if I was him. But man, I dunno... it's boring without him. He'll come 'round, I'm sure of that."

Texas

**2:59 PM.**

Five vehicles were lined up at the beginning of a dirt track. One person from each team had elected to drive, while the rest of the team looked on. Team Victory's car was a smooth and sleek one, decorated with a pretty orange, yellow, and red pattern on the sides. In the driver's seat, sat New Mexico, looking ready to go. For Team America, Indiana and North Carolina had decorated their vehicle in a shiny all-black color, with green touch-ups here and there for the effect. In the driver's seat, Ohio sat, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

Team Touchdown's car was quite bulky, and seemed almost armored. It was decorated in a camouflage pattern, and in its driving chair, Texas sat, determination etching his face. Beside that, Team Dakota's car rested. It appeared more sparse than most of the others, almost down to its bare bones. It also lacked any kind of decorations or paint whatsoever. North Dakota herself had elected to take the wheel, after much sparring with Utah, who had volunteered endlessly. And lastly, was Team Democracy's "car".

The car that was supposed to represent Team Democracy was certainly make-shift, that was for certain. Bits and pieces of metal had been attached to the frame, without any kind of logic behind them whatsoever. The engine was smeared with a black tar, something that not even a good scrub-down had been able to fix. There was a very small paint job done on the side by Massachusetts, who had wrote with purple paint "TEAM DEMOCRACY" in block letters. New Jersey sat slightly too confidently in the driver's seat.

The remaining thirty-nine contestants were just waiting behind the cars, anxious to get the show moving along. And lastly, Chris was yelling into a phone, as everyone waited on him.

"...no, I do _not_ know where the finale will be filmed! We've got _five months_ to figure it out... wait, you want us to do what?"

There was a pause. "You mean we can't have the sharks? Why _not?_"

One more pause, and then Chris groaned. "Fine. Your way. In the meantime, I gotta go, we're sort of filming right now... yes. Yes. Thank you. Goodbye."

The phone shut off with a click. Chris sighed, looking slightly depressed, and then flashed his bright, cheery smile at the contestants. "Are you guys ready?" he asked. A few people nodded, to which he held up a finger teasingly. "That was a hypothetical question! No answer needed. At the sound of my gun, each team will drive off, and begin the challenge. First person to finish the dirt track wins! Everyone ready?"

"Ready! Set! _Go-_"

CRACK. The five vehicles revved up, and roared off down the track without any problems. As far as the contestants could tell, the cars were working perfectly. Kentucky whooped loudly for his team.

"Yeaaah!" Texas yelled, speeding down the track faster and faster. The track was fairly short, but a number of obstacles were there to impede their progress. As Texas skillfully dodged a pile of overturned barrels, he spotted a narrow, rickety bridge up ahead over a pit of mud. He overtook New Jersey, sped up, and roared _right over_ the pit, making it to the other side. New Jersey went over right afterwards, followed by North Dakota, New Mexico, and Ohio. The race was on.

"Eat _this!_" North Dakota screamed, smashing into the side of Team America's car. Ohio almost spun out of control, but by using the steering wheel skillfully, he managed to pull himself back on track. "Chris! She's cheating!" he yelled into the camera on the front of the car.

Chris, of course, back at the finish line, merely shrugged, grinning bemusedly.

New Jersey swerved in between cones, trying desperately to catch up with Texas. Behind him, North Dakota began to catch up, after cutting in front of New Mexico. Though the only thing that mattered was that he didn't end up in last, New Jersey was desperate for Team Democracy to finally win a challenge.

North Dakota sped up, trailing right behind New Jersey, but he didn't let her aside, swerving right in front of her when she tried to overtake him. She groaned, and looked around the dashboard for a certain weapon Nebraska had been keen to try to stick onto the car. She pressed a button, and-

PCHOOO, and two long spears were catapulted from the front of the vehicle. One soared off into the distance, while the other hit Team Democracy's car. It ripped through the tire, making New Jersey spin wildly out of control, coming to a halt off the side of the track in a huge cloud of dust.

"Oh, my god..." Massachusetts whispered, gazing out onto the track. North Dakota, New Mexico, and Ohio sped right past the twisted metal wreckage of Team Democracy's car. "Is he alright?"

Chris groaned. "Yo! New Jersey!" he called, waving at the rubble. "You need an ambulance or something? Because _apparently_ I'm not allowed to say that you can't have one."

A dirty hand went up from the wreckage of Team Democracy's car. It gave a thumbs up, as New Jersey groggily pulled himself up from the wreckage. "Oh, good," Chris said, relieved.

Thanks to Team Democracy's fall, Team Dakota had earned its place in second, after unsuccessful attempts at taking Texas down. Team Touchdown came in first, Team Dakota second, Team Victory third, and Team America in fourth. New Jersey trudged back to his team, as New York continued his crusade to make Chris change his mind.

"She _cheated!_" he exclaimed, pointing wildly at North Dakota, who was receiving high fives from her team. "She's done this before! She did this in Alaska, too! You can't let this slide, Chris."

"Actually, I can," he countered, slightly annoyed. "Your team could've done the same thing. Now... I think it's time to see a certain team through voting, am I correct?"

New York groaned. Massachusetts appeared pretty disappointed. "After all that work, too," he mumbled, head in his hands. "This sucks."

**4:13 PM.**

The air in Team Democracy's bus was stiff, and uneasy. As the five buses plowed onwards through Iowa, everyone was avoiding looking at each other. Connecticut was playing a game of checkers with himself. Vermont was just sitting in the corner, doing absolutely nothing. New York was pacing over and over again, and then asked the inevitable.

"Okay. So... we lost. Who are we considering for elimination?"

Connecticut looked up. "What?"

"We need to figure out who we're going to eliminate."

The teen just looked confused, letting the checkers game aside for now. "I don't know," Connecticut responded, and decided to focus on the game. New York groaned, and stomped off to the bunk rooms.

"Massachusetts!" New York yelled, startling him. "Jesus Christ, dude..." Massachusetts mumbled. "You almost gave me a heart attack. Y'know, you could knock."

"We need a game plan," New York stated, ignoring Massachusetts's discomfort. "We have to figure out who to vote off. The obvious choice is Vermont."

Massachusetts looked up, surprised. "What? No! Er... no, not Vermont. He's too sweet."

New York rolled his eyes. "Sweet means absolutely nothing when he ended up being _literally the only person who didn't help_. Even Connecticut pitched in a little."

"We can't just be mean to people who can't pull their weight. It's not Vermont's fault. Can't we just vote off New Jersey? I thought that was what we were doing. He lost us the game."

Another roll of the eyes. "Massachusetts. He probably did better driving than any of us on this team could have done. Even if he _did_ crash. Now, what's _not_ helping our team is mute people who aren't going to help at all."

Massachusetts stared at New York, contempt showing in his face. "Y'know, you're heartless," he mumbled, diverting his attention back to his PC Gamer magazine. "All you care about is winning. And, yeah, that's important, but... do you want our team to turn into a Team Dakota-type situation?"

"It _won't_ if everyone does what I tell them to do! And face it. Someone like Vermont would never win a game like this. Get real."

Massachusetts mumbled something. New York didn't hear it. "What was that?" New York asked a little too loudly. "I didn't quite catch that."

"...don't vote off Vermont. Anybody but him."

...

New York spoke uncertainly, "You don't... _like_ him, do you?"

There was a silence. New York turned around towards the door, head in his hands. "Ohhh, my God... seriously? _Him?_ He doesn't talk at all."

Massachusetts didn't say anything. New York sighed. "Why not Connecticut? Or Maine? They're all nice people. Dude, you've gotta pick your pairings better. You can't just go around falling for people who are obviously going to get booted off within a span of-"

"Leave. I'm serious, New York."

A rather lengthy silence went by. New York sighed, and quietly said, "Massachusetts. Vermont is going to be voted off eventuall-"

"Go."

One more awkward pause, and then New York trudged out the room.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_27_mp3**

"Wow. I didn't really expect that. Vermont? The guy doesn't talk at all. But... I really need Massachusetts on my side. He looks like the only other person on this team who can actually get us somewhere in this damn game. He'll... he'll forgive me after it's done. I'm sure of that. And then we'll start winning again."

New York

**7:02 PM.**

Chris shone a wide smile at the nine members of Team Democracy as they approached in a huge parking lot outside Cedar Rapids. The sky was growing dark with the evening already. Chris had his arms full of snacks. "Hello, contestants!" he grunted, dropping the snacks on the ground. "Hope you guys've had a fun challenge! How does it feel to have already lost two challenges when Team America's lost zero?"

Nobody responded to that. Everyone was glancing at each other warily. Chris sighed, and muttered, "Well, you're a fun bunch... when I call your name, I tell you how many people voted for you. If you get a snack, that means you're staying in the game. If you _don't_... then you go home, and can't come back on this show. Ever."

A pause went by.

"These votes are all over the place, you guys. But nevertheless... Delaware! Zero votes. Here's a bag of Cheetos."

"Maine and Massachusetts! I've got two packs of Skittles for you two riiight here. Zero votes!"

"New Hampshire and Pennsylvania. Hershey's Kisses for you guys. Sound good? No votes whatsoever."

A silence. Only New York, Connecticut, Vermont, and New Jersey remained. Chris smiled. "The rest of you got at least one vote! Uh oh! Time for the drama..."

...

"New York! Just one vote, brother."

New York caught a bag of Doritos graciously. Chris grinning devilishly. "Connecticut, Vermont, and New Jersey are left!" he announced. "The penultimate snack goes to..."

...

"Connecticut! Just one vote."

A bag of Funyuns landed on the pavement in front of Connecticut. He picked it up dully. Another pause went by, as Chris just smiled at the remaining two contestants. New Jersey looked terrified. Vermont just appeared surprised.

"The final bag of Jolly Ranchers goes to..."

...

...

...

"New Jersey! Two votes!"

A gasp of air escaped from New Jersey. Chris shrugged, and pointed at the taxi. "Sorry, Vermont! You got five votes, man. Your ride is waiting."

As Vermont trudged by, Massachusetts sat brooding on the pavement, packet of Skittles left untouched at his feet. A car door slammed, and a cab drove away.

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, and Vermont.

**aspiringAnimator - **Once again, I accidentally wrote a five thousand word chapter. Is that a good thing? Is writing 10,000 words every week _healthy_? Find out the answers to all of these exciting questions and more in the next exciting installment of... The Fifty State Roadtrip!

But seriously, though. Parts of this chapter weren't actually planned, including Massachussetts's affinity for Vermont. So, yeah, that wasn't actually the big planned LGBT couple. Did I just say too much? Nah.

Updates are Wednesdays and weekends as usual. I somehow have gotten used to writing 10,000 words a week. It is a dreadful disease.

Vote for the character that _YOU'RE_ rooting for at the poll on my profile! Make sure to follow, favorite, and review! Critique, criticisms, opinions, praise, whatever. All that good stuff. A surprise kiss will be delivered upon your cheek if you do! Maybe by me. Maybe by someone else. Maybe by someone you don't actually _want_ to get a kiss from. That's why it's a surprise.


	9. How to Fabulous

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wisconsin.

**EPISODE 8: HOW TO FABULOUS**

_"But what did I __do?" - West Virginia_

**Wednesday, July 30th, 2014. Burlington, Vermont. 9:20 AM.**

A cold shower ran in the back of Team America's bus. Carefully, Virginia scrubbed all the dirt off herself. It'd been a long month.

With a flick of her wrist, the water was shut off, and she stepped out. Surely, around four people must be waiting outside for their turn. Virginia dried herself off, and bumped into a certain someone right out the door.

"Oh, my - WEST VIRGINIA? WHAT ARE YOU DOING."

"Oh! _HEH! _Um... I... was just passing by! Don't worry-"

"No... no. You're coming with me."

"_HEH! _Sounds like fun! Where - ow, ow. Don't - _ow_ - You don't have to drag by by the ea - OW"

Virginia was dragging West Virginia by the ear, and threw him into his room. She shut the door. "You're staying in there, West Virginia!" she shouted. "Until you learn how to... to _behave_, and not creepily stalk people the way you do, you have to stay in. I'm lockin' this door."

There wasn't a lock on the outside of the bunk room, evidently. She contented herself with propping a chair underneath the doorknob. Ohio walked up cautiously, wary of Virginia's tactics.

"Um. What are you doing?"

"I'm... locking West Virginia in his bunk room."

"You know that's my room, too, right? There's four bunks in that room."

"Oh... um."

The door swung open again. "Alright, West Virginia, let that be a lesson to you!" Virginia shouted, stomping off. "Damn... little ginger brat."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_28_mp3**

"I've about _had it_ with that kid. I just wanna know why he won't leave _me_ alone. What'd I ever do to deserve the purgatory I live in, where this little red headed string bean is poppin' out of every door I see? I can't take a shower in peace anymore without knowin' he's listenin' to me sing 'Amazing Grace' from the other side. I've _tried_ bein' polite about it to the little kid, but... enough is _enough_."

Virginia

**9:36 AM.**

Team Democracy's bus rumbled its way throughout the steep hills of Vermont. Everyone seemed convinced the team was destined to never win a single challenge, which was actually a reasonable prediction when you looked at what had happened so far. Maine was trying to teach Massachusetts how to play Majong, but Massachusetts was being weirdly unresponsive the past few days. New Jersey, sitting alone on the couch, sighed, and leaned back.

"Do you guys know when Delaware's waking up?" he suddenly asked. Massachusetts glanced up at him, eyebrow raised. "Why do you care?"

New Jersey looked at the floor. "Oh, no reason. I'm just busy being a bad ass, that's all, and I gotta make sure my women know... know their place."

Maine looked over at New Jersey. "Your women?"

"Um... yes?"

Maine turned her attention away from the game of Majong, and folded her arms. "Okay, so you're saying you own women now?"

"No! No, like, they're... um."

A strained silence went by. Maine glared at New Jersey, while Massachusetts's eyes flicked back between the two. "I'm gonna make a sandwich," Massachusetts suddenly decided. "We can finish our game later today, Maine. Um... yeah."

**9:44 AM.**

"Yo! Bus driver!" Texas suddenly yelled. "Can we, like, stop an' play football or somethin'? We been cramped in here for 'bout a month now."

The Intern glanced over at Texas, and said nothing. Texas didn't seem pleased, but elected to sit down with Alabama and Mississippi, who were cuddling on the couch. "Damn..." Texas mumbled. "It's so boring in here."

His comment went unnoticed by Alabama. Texas rolled his eyes, and retreated to the bunk rooms.

Arkansas was sitting on his bed, reading a copy of "War of the Worlds". Florida was lying on the bed above him, listening to music, when Texas cautiously knocked on the door. "Yo! Arkansas!" Texas exclaimed, walking up to the teen. Arkansas glanced up nervously at Texas. "What is it?"

"Nothin'!" Texas said, sitting on the bunk opposite to Arkansas's. "Just checkin' in on things. Um..."

A silence went by. Arkansas resumed reading. Texas tentatively said, "So... how d'you like bein' on the show so far?"

"It's fun. There's more down time than I thought."

"Right on, right on..." Texas muttered, nodding his head at that. "Right, well, I was just checkin' in on things here. Hey, you wanna play poker or somethin'?"

Arkansas glanced at Texas over his book as Florida snorted at that. "Is Alabama ignoring you?" he asked. Texas was immediately surprised at his accuracy.

"Um. Nah, man, it's just... I'm... bored."

Arkansas sighed, and stood up, saving his place in his book. "Alright. Come on. We'll set up in the kitchen," he decided.

The two guys walked back into the living room. Alabama and Mississippi barely even noticed them. Texas withdrew a set of cards from a kitchen drawer, and laid them out on the small table. Alabama heard the cards, and quickly looked up to see the two sitting down awkwardly, about to play. "Hey, what are y'all doin'?" he asked, attention diverting from Mississippi for just a moment.

"Playin' poker."

"Can I play?"

"...yeah, sure."

Alabama joined the three, leaving Mississippi sitting all alone on the couch. She looked up at her new boyfriend slightly disappointed, but then proclaimed, "I wanna play, too."

"We're just getting started. Hop on up."

The four southerners began to play together, bonding over bets and a pack of cards. Texas was near winning, but Arkansas had a four-of-a-kind up his sleeve. Within half an hour, however, a crackled voice over the radio declared, "We're coming in hot! ETA is five minutes. This is Chris: signing off!"

**10:03 AM.**

"Good morning, contestants!" a cheerful Chris greeted the forty-three contestants. "Would you guys like to know why we're all standing in the middle of a closed off street in the city of Burlington?"

A few people glanced around. One or two shrugged. Chris sighed, and said, "First person to guess it correctly gets immunity."

"_Drag race!_" Kentucky immediately shouted.

"Pie eatin' contest," Mississippi suggested.

"Trivia show!" Connecticut exclaimed.

Washington asked tentatively, "Scavenger hunt again?"

"_Awake-a-thon!_" North Dakota screamed.

Oklahoma squealed, "Talent sh-" right when Chris shouted, "QUIET! I was kidding! _Jesus!_ Do I really have to give you guys _incentives_ for talking now? We're doing a _fashion show_."

Everyone went quiet. Kentucky snorted, evidently under the impression that it was a joke again. A number of girls became interested in the topic. "Each team will have to make three outfits for three different models from their team!" Chris yelled, amused by everyone's varied reactions. "You will present your outfits in front of three judges. I am the first one. For the second judge, allow me to introduce... Chef!"

A few people began to clap slowly. Chef walked up, clearly annoyed. "Yeah, I ain't sure why I'm here," he yelled. "I was promised I'd be paid for this."

"You're on our _retirement plan!_" Chris whispered loudly. "And the plan states you have to help us out every now and then. Our third and final judge is... Blaineley!"

A blonde woman walked up in an elaborate dress, smiling widely at the forty-three contestants. A few people shrunk back at her appearance. "Hi, there!" she exclaimed, patting Utah on the head sweetly. "My name is Blaineley! I'll help judge this challenge, okay?"

"Aren't you that lady who got fired from hosting, like... three shows?" Indiana asked, clearly unimpressed by the newcomer. Blaineley scowled at the young, nonchalant teenage girl briefly, and then flashed her cheery smile again. "Oh, these kids are a hoot, Chris! I don't know how you do it!" she exclaimed, pinching Indiana's cheek roughly. "So. _Cute._"

Indiana jerked away, and muttered, "We're _so very_ grateful to have you on here."

Blaineley smiled a wide, dead, broken smile, and exclaimed, "And I am _so_ happy to be here! It's almost as if I _actually have a career still, and that this isn't my only option of making any money!_"

"Um... right," Chris said, stepping in. "Contestants, you have one hour to make the _most_ attractive outfits for your team! Figure out who is going up as models! You can find clothing, sewing machines, cloth, and everything else you might need behind the curtain. Chop chop!"

**10:09 AM.**

Arizona held up a long piece of orange cloth, squinting at it scrutinizingly. "All we have to work with is a bunch of cloth," she murmured, setting it down. Oregon looked up from his sketchpad; he was already drawing out designs. "I think we could make this work!" he announced, sketching out the design for a dress. "It can't be _that_ hard. You've gotta think optimistically!"

Washington approached, looking cautiously at Oregon's drawings. "You sure you're okay with doing all the designs?" he asked, adjusting his glasses. Oregon nodded quickly. "Yes! I used to think up all kinds of styles in my free time. It's fun! You can make one, too, if you want."

A hand went up hesitantly from Washington. "Don't worry about it. You seem like you've got it under control, Oregon. Fabulous work."

Oregon looked sheepish, and continued with his work.

"Ooooh!" California squealed, running up to Washington. "Can I be a _model?_"

Washington shrugged. "Sure. We need three. California can do it... Arizona, you wanna go?"

Arizona shook her head. "No. It's degrading."

"Okay..."

Nevada raised her hand excitedly. "Can I be a model?" she asked. Washington shrugged. "I don't know. Why are all of you asking me?"

"You're the leader, right?"

Washington blinked. "What?"

"Of this team. I mean... right?"

"Uhhh... I... I wasn't aware? When did that happen?"

Hawaii approached. "Of course you are. You've taken charge successfully for almost every challenge," he told Washington. "If anyone should be leader of the 'great and powerful' Team Victory, it should be you."

Washington looked flustered. "Um, thanks, Hawaii, but... I was just helping out the team. I wasn't actually _trying_ to lead."

Hawaii shrugged, and set down a load of cloth by the sewing machine. "Everyone likes you, dude. I don't know why. You're lucky, man. I kind of wanted to be leader."

Washington's hands flew up. "Take it, then. I wasn't preparing with... with leading seven teenagers to their doom on this show."

A chuckle went up from Hawaii. "Little too late for that, I think. Embrace it, bro."

**10:25 AM.**

Texas and Alabama sat on two wooden crates behind the curtains of the stage, looking bored. Almost every single girl on their team were designing outfits, trying on clothes, and basically squabbling about who gets to be models. Even Florida was taking part, sketching out designs for elaborate dresses. Alabama sniffed, and wiped his nose absentmindedly.

"All _physical challenges_, huh, Tex?"

"Man, dude, not now."

**10:27 AM.**

"Which one of you nerds is good at drawing?" North Dakota blared, staring down Nebraska, Utah, and Kansas. Oklahoma raised her hand nervously, and said, "Um, Glorious Leader, I think I might be able to-"

"Fine, then," North Dakota said, exasperated. "You do the designs. The obvious first choices for the models are going to be South Dakota and I. Who else wants to be a model? Don't volunteer if you're ugly."

At that last sentence, nobody volunteered, upon fears that North Dakota considered them ugly. North Dakota groaned, and pointed at Minnesota. "You. Runner girl. You're modeling."

She appeared wary, but consented, as Oklahoma began sketching out the first few outfits. "Make sure you don't try anything daring, Oklahoma," North Dakota ordered. "Go nice and simple. I have no idea how they'll react to these designs, so it's best to play it safe."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_29_mp3**

"Okay, I know North Dakota says we're not allowed to make confessionals, but I just wanted to state on the record that she _terrifies_ me. I'm not allowed to talk to other people on the team. I've felt more stressed this past month than I have in my entire life. Every challenge day I'm terrified that we'll lose, and she'll decide to blame me. I mean, look at Iowa, for pete's sake. He was a nice guy, a little shy, but he complained _literally once_ and got booted!"

Nebraska

**10:31 AM.**

New York sighed, looking around at his team. "This is our chance to finally win!" he announced. Most people were just awkwardly holding cloth, and comparing colors. "We've got real potential here, for the simple fact that this _isn't a physical challenge_. Hey, Massachusetts. You're gay. You've got a natural-born desire to make fashionable clothing, right?"

Massachusetts glared at New York. "First off, I'm not even gay," he began. "I keep telling you guys. There is a _difference_ between bisexual and gay. I like girls as much as guys. And to answer your question, no, I'm not really _that_ artistic, or... feminine, to be honest."_  
_

New York looked disappointed. "Well, okay, fine then," he stuttered. "We need someone to think up outfit designs."

"I've done something like that before," Pennsylvania mused, looking over a sheet of cloth. New York avoided her gaze nervously, but stated, "Okay, good, let's see what you can do. As for the rest of you guys, at least _try_ to make some outfits, alright?"

New Jersey sighed, and threw down a piece of white cloth. "This ain't really my realm of expertise, bro," he informed New York. "I'm no good with makin' dresses."

New York was rubbing his forehead. "You don't have to make a dress. Just make anything that looks good. We've got real potential with this challenge. It's up to you guys to _apply yourselves_."

**10:34 AM.**

"We need to do a striped theme!" Ohio declared, holding orange and purple cloth together for comparison. "It's simple. It's stylish. It will keep us from getting in last."

"Orange and purple look terrible together, you know," Michigan commented passive-aggressively, walking by. "I have an idea!" West Virginia yelled.

Virginia subconsciously stepped away. Wisconsin perked his ears up, and asked, "What's your idea?"

"We all dress up like Virginia! _HEH!_ We ought to win first prize instantly with _her_ kind of flair!"

There was a silence that lasted about eight full seconds. Everybody stared at West Virginia, who eventually began to stammer, "We can, like... have really tight jeans, and beige jackets just like her, and fix our hair up to be all bushy-"

WHAM. Virginia had grabbed West Virginia by the collar of his dorky little polo shirt, and pinned him against a tall wooden beam. "I'm sick of askin' you nicely," she seethed. "Stay. _AWAY_. From. _Me_. I mean it."

West Virginia looked incredibly flustered. "It was just a sugges-"

"I _will_ file a restraining order once this show's over. You've crossed the line one too many times, little man."

Virginia set him down, and stomped off. Ohio approached him cautiously. "I really think you should leave her alone," he advised. "Your attitude towards her is gonna get you kicked off the team."

"I just don't know what to do!" West Virginia bawled, sitting on the ground cross-legged. "She - she _hates me__!_"

"I wonder why," Ohio mused, walking off.

**10:51 AM.**

"How do I look?" Nevada asked, twirling around in a brand new orange, silky dress. Oregon came up with the design himself. The base of the dress split off into red and yellow frizz, giving Nevada the appearance of being on fire. Idaho's jaw was wide. Washington noticed her dress, and gasped. "Oh, my gosh, that's amazing," he murmured. "Give it a spin. It looks like you're a bonfire or something."

"That's the general idea!" Oregon announced, grinning widely and pointing at his sketchbook. "I mean, she's not really on fire, obviously, but it should wow Chris and the other two judges. I... think we've got this in the bag. I saw someone from Team America wearing a bowl on their head."

New Mexico, who was passing by carrying a load of cloth, raised an eyebrow at that. "A bowl?"

Sure enough, over in Team America, Kentucky was prancing around wearing a bowl on his head, as West Virginia sobbed in the middle of the floor. New Mexico stared at them for a few moments, and remarked, "Let's... just be glad we're not on _that_ team."

**11:00 AM.**

"_TIME'S UP!_" Chris shouted through a bullhorn, sitting in one of three chairs in front of a stage. "Everyone get your stupid outfits on and prepare to _dazzle_ me! You guys ready to judge?"

Blaineley looked up from her phone finally, and shrugged, looking back down at it, evidently under the impression that there were no cameras watching her at the moment. Chef was asleep, laying his head on the table. "Wake up, big guy," Chris said, grinning amusedly. "It's time to fulfill your _contract!_ Contestants! Send out Team Touchdown's models!"

There was a minute or two of muffled noises from behind the curtain, and then, Georgia revealed herself. She was wearing what _appeared_ to be a football jersey, but pink, and bearing the number one. The jersey appeared tailored to be form-fitting, matching the skinny jeans she wore. Seconds later, Tennessee and Mississippi walked out, wearing similar outfits, except in purple and light blue, and with the numbers two and three. "I see Team Touchdown has gone with some outfits that reflect their team!" Chris yelled, scratching down something in a notepad. "Interesting. How many points are we going to award this team?"

Blaineley smiled widely with the knowledge that she was being filmed. "Well, I'd say these girls worked _very_ hard!" she said cheerily. "I give them a nine!"

Chris winced. "Well, I give it a seven. It could've been better."

Chef sniffed, and glared at the three girls on the stage. "I ain't a fan of girls playin' football!" he yelled. "I give 'em four points."

"Ouch!" Chris said, smiling. "That's it for Team Touchdown. Go on. Next up is Team Democracy!"

Maine, New Hampshire, and Pennsylvania all walked on stage, smiling brightly. They were wearing matching sets of what looked like sci-fi clothing, as though it were inspired by Star Trek or something. The design was sleek and modern, and all tailored by the hands of none other than Delaware.

"Futuristic!" Blaineley squealed feignedly. "So daring! I give these kids an eight!"

"I give 'em a seven," Chef decided, after approximately one second of deciding. "I liked them Star Wars movies."

Chris was scratching his chin. "I dunno, it doesn't look practical. I give it a six. Bring out Team Victory next!"

California, Nevada, and... Oregon all walked on stage. They were all wearing fiery orange dresses. Oregon was blushing furiously, and kept glancing at the curtains behind him, avoiding the judges stares.

"Uh. Oregon? Why are you wearing a dress?"

"...um, Arizona... Arizona didn't want to do it, says - says it's degrading, and there's no other girls, and none of the guys wanted to do it..."

"I love it!" Blaineley screamed. "This is daring! This is _fresh__!_ This is _new!_ Sending Oregon up there says that, _yes_, even _men_ can be fabulous! I give it a ten!"

Chris glanced at Blaineley. "It's nice and all, but... I'm not a fan of the, uh, cross-dressing, even if Oregon doesn't actually want to do it. Our network's gonna get hate mail for this. But, I have to judge, so I'll just give it a th-"

Suddenly, California and Nevada twirled around, letting the full effect come into play. Indeed, it appeared as though they were on _fire_. Even Oregon did a regretted, half-assed spin, blushing madly.

"...fine. I give it a seven."

Chef scratched his chin. "If you just ignore the dude that's standin' in a dress, it looks nice," he grunted. "Eight."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_30_mp3**

"Let me just clear something here. I don't want any rumors about me to start back home. I am _not_ a cross-dresser! I'm not even... not even, um, gay! Arizona didn't want to be a model, and California and Nevada were literally the only willing girls on our team. We'd already finished the designs for the dresses, so we couldn't change them, and absolutely none of the guys wanted to go up in a dress, so... and that's not even to say that _I_ wanted to go up in a dress, I didn't, there just wasn't any time, and Washington kept telling me to follow my heart or whatever, and I knew that if I didn't go up, then our team would lose, and that we can't have three losses when there's a team out there that's had zero, and... I'm rambling again, aren't I?"

Oregon

**11:09 AM.**

The participants from Team Victory all left in a hurry, Oregon especially. "Bring out Team Dakota!" Chris yelled, as the stage finally became empty once more.

North Dakota, South Dakota, and Minnesota all walked on stage, grinning brightly and beautifully, but wearing plain green, red, and blue long dresses. They walked up, and presented themselves.

"That's it?" Chris asked, surprised. "Just... a plain, one-color dress?"

...

"I like it! I give it a seven!" Blaineley cheered.

"Four."

"Meh, five."

"_What__?_" North Dakota screamed. "That's, what, sixteen in total? This is... this is an _outrage__!_ Team _Victory_ got _twenty-five_ points, and one of them was a _guy__!_"

Chris shrugged, grinning. "Hey, you guys played it safe. If you want to make a fashion statement, that is most definitely _not_ what you do. Next!"

Team Dakota stomped off stage. North Dakota's rage could be heard from the other side of the curtain. Chris winced, and yelled, "Bring out Team America! I'm ready to get this finished."

Kentucky, Wisconsin, and Illinois walked on stage. The three guys were wearing huge, plain white t-shirts that went down to their knees, and what looked like large metal bowls on their heads, such that their eyes were completely obstructed from view.

...

...

...

"_What_ are you guys even _wearing?_"_  
_

"Kentucky-Bot detects unauthorized voice command!" Kentucky yelled, eyes covered by the insane bowl he was wearing. "Exterminating... at a later date!"

...

"Two."

"Five!" Chef yelled. "Y'all are robots!"

"It's daring..." Blaineley began, unsure. "But... it looks bad. Four."

Stunned, the three men from Team America all retreated to behind the large curtain. "Contestants! You can all come out, now!" Chris yelled into a bullhorn, prompting the forty-three contestants to all come out from behind the curtains, looking wary. A few appeared to have already done the math in their heads, and knew who won. All of the models who had gone out on stage still wore their outfits except for Oregon, who appeared to have immediately taken his off in favor of the tight purple t-shirt he always wore. The several dozen teens waited patiently for Chris do some basic mathematics, and then he spoke.

"Team Victory comes in first place with twenty-five points!"

Cheers went up in the air from that team. Chris smiled, and looked back down at his notepad. "Team Democracy comes in second with twenty-one points, Team Touchdown in third with twenty points, and in fourth place..."

...

"...Team Dakota, with sixteen points! That means Team America, you lost with eleven points! Seriously, guys. What was even _up_ with those outfits?"

Michigan tried to explain, but was cut off by Blaineley shouting into the camera, "Well, it was fun to be on the show! Make sure to check out my newest upcoming show, The Canadian Celebrity Cha-"

"That's enough, Blaineley," Chris muttered, cutting her off. "Teams, into the buses. And Team America? I'll see you ten in voting for the first time! Looks like that no-loss streak of yours has come to an end. Hahahaha!

**6:41 PM.**

"One by one, I want you guys to get into the voting booth!" Chris told Team America as the sun set over a gas station near the state border. The "voting booth" was just a telephone booth, but it seemed soundproof enough. "You'll say who you're voting for. I know this is your first time doing this, so... try not to screw things up too much, alright?"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_31_mp3**

"I vote for Kentucky! His idea lost us the challenge! _HEH!_"

West Virginia

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_32_mp3**

"Personally, I think this entire thing is stupid, but I _have_ to vote, so... Kentucky. I guess. He's a creep.

Indiana

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_33_mp3**

"West Virginia. I've _tried_ bein' _nice_ to the little kid, but I just can't _stand_ it anymore."

Virginia

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_34_mp3**

"Michigan. He's so bossy, and thinks he's right all the time. He needs to learn to give leadership to someone else, because he sure as hell isn't fit for it."

Ohio

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_35_mp3**

"You know what? I pick Ohio. The guy disagrees with everything I say. He's rude, irresponsible, and manipulative. There's no need for that on this team."

Michigan

**6:58 PM.**

Chris frowned at the ten contestants seated in front of him. "The votes are in!" he yelled. "Let me tell you guys how this works. I give you a snack and tell you how many people voted for you. If you get no snacks... that means you got the most votes, and must leave the show in the taxi for the losers. And you can't come back. _Ever_."_  
_

A silence went by.

"Indiana. No votes."

A bag of Combos landed in her lap. "Maryland and North Carolina!" Chris then said. "Also no votes. Nice going."

A bottle of water went to each of them. North Carolina squinted at it, and asked, "This is a snack?"

"Hush! Virginia and Wisconsin! No votes for either of you!"

The two caught the candy gratefully. Chris grinned widely at the remaining contestants: West Virginia, Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky, and Illinois. "Well, boys, it looks like you got some votes!" he yelled. "That's five of you. Wow. The next bag of Oreos goes to..."

...

"...Illinois! One vote, man."

A bag was thrown. A silence. "The next bag is for..."

...

"...Michigan! Just one vote."

Michigan caught the bag of chips, and glanced around at his team. Chris frowned at Ohio, West Virginia, and Kentucky, and yelled, "The penultimate bag goes to..."

...

"Ohio. One vote. What happened, dude?"

Ohio shrugged, taking the bag of Doritos without qualms. Chris grinned at West Virginia and Kentucky. "Isn't this fun! Battle of the outcasts. The final snack goes to..."

West Virginia glanced around, terrified. Kentucky appeared as though in a permanent state of shock. Chris just smiled, holding the snack higher, and waving it around, drawing out the pause for as long as possible, apparently.

...

...

...

"Kentucky! Three votes."

Kentucky caught the bag of Cheetos, evidently satisfied now. West Virginia glanced around. "Where's mine?"

"Yours is in the loser wagon!" Chris shouted, pointing at a waiting taxi. "You got four votes, dude. Beat it." West Virginia's eyes began to water up. "But what did I _do?_" he cried, waving his arms around as he stood. "I - I tried so hard - I just _can't_ have been the first person voted off this team - who voted for me?"

Chris glanced around. "You want me to tell you?"

"Y - yes..."

Chris looked at his notepad as a few of the contestants sitting on the pavement's eyes grew wide with terror. "Uhhh, I guess I can bend the rules for this. Illinois, Kentucky, North Carolina, and Virginia voted-"

"_Virginia?_" West Virginia asked incredulously, apparently fighting back the tears still. "I... _why?_ I tried _s - so hard_ - to be nice, and... and you voted for me?"

Virginia looked away from West Virginia, looking regretful. West Virginia stood for one moment longer, staring at his team, and stomped off towards the taxi. Chris let out a long whistle as the footsteps receded. "Well," he began, looking shocked, "...that was an interesting episode."

A silence lasted for a few moments, as a car door slammed and the purring of an engine receded.

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, and West Virginia.

**aspiringAnimator** - Um, on that note, fun little episode. Let me know what you think via a review, favorite, follow, PM, or carrier pigeon. In addition, the poll for who you're rooting for is still up on my profile! Make your voice heard, or whatever. And, as always, we're updating on Wednesdays and weekends! I'm surprised by the amount of progress I've already made on this fic within the span of about a month! The good kind of surprise. Not the kind where you discover your entire life has been a lie.


	10. The Not Very Civil War

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia, and Wisconsin.

**EPISODE 9: THE NOT VERY CIVIL WAR**

_"You like New Mexico, don't you?" - Washington_

**Saturday, August 2nd, 2014. Harpers Ferry, West Virginia. 6:59 AM.**

Silence, save for the purring of five charter buses headed south. And then, an alarm clock blared.

New York sleepily extended an arm to slam on the snooze button, and groggily glanced around the bunk room. Below him, Vermont's bunk had rested empty for the past week. Across from New York's bunk bed, Massachusetts slept soundly above Connecticut, who was already up and reading. New York rubbed his eyes, and groaned.

Ugh. _Challenge Day_.

A few steps later, and he was in line for the shower, behind Delaware, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania. New Jersey offered to let Delaware go ahead of him three times. Delaware staunchly refused, as she grew more and more irritable as time went on. Within thirty minutes, it was New York's turn to finally enter the shower.

He shampooed his hair, scrubbing it generously as the bus made several shifts that forced him to quickly hold on to something. By the time he was dried off and wearing fresh clothes, it was around eight AM.

"This is your brain..." Massachusetts murmured to himself, standing in his pajamas over the kitchen stove holding an egg. He cracked it, and poured the contents into a frying pan. "...and this is your brain on drugs..."

New York walked in, scratching his back, wearing a fresh brown t-shirt. "What're you making?" he asked.

Massachusetts noticed him, cheery expression faltering slightly at his arrival. "Oh. Omelettes. New Jersey and Maine asked for some the other day."

New York frowned, and took his seat at the couch, frowning. "They did?"

"Well... sort of. Mainly they just surrounded me while I was fixing up my hair two days ago and started yelling 'Omelette Du Fromage!' in silly French accents over and over again. I thought they'd get a kick out of this, when I actually make some..."

New York rubbed his eyes again, and muttered, "You've sure got a weird sense of humor..."

**8:49 AM.**

Team Touchdown's bus steadily made its way through the hills of West Virginia. Inside, Texas sat absentmindedly with Alabama, who had Mississippi sitting on his lap rather awkwardly. "I really miss my phone," Mississippi whined, glancing out the window. Alabama nodded slowly, thinking of something else.

"Hey, y'all," Texas began, glancing around, "where's that Arkansas kid? We had fun playin' poker with him."

Alabama shrugged. "Don't push him. He's probably readin' or somethin' again. What do y'all think we'll be doin' for the challenge today?"

It was now Texas's turn to shrug. "Man, I dunno," he muttered. "Probably somethin' physical. They can't get away with doin' fashion shows every day."_  
_

"I liked doin' the fashion show!" Mississippi exclaimed, letting her head fall back on the couch. "We got to dress up an' stuff. Did y'all know Florida's real good at drawin'? She came up with the football designs."

There was a pause. It didn't seem like either of the guys were willing to discuss the design of dresses, no matter how football-themed they were. Mississippi sighed, and retreated to the bunk rooms, presumably to talk all about it with Georgia.

**9:53 AM.**

"Can any of you kids guess where we are?" Chris asked the now forty-two contestants when they'd finally all climbed out of the buses. "I'll give you a hint!" Chris exclaimed, pointing at the small town. "It has to do with history!"

Glances were exchanged. After a length pause, Chris dully said, "No? Well, this is the town of Harpers Ferry, the site of many a battle during the American Civil War. Can anyone guess what we'll be doing today?"

More silence. After a few seconds, New Jersey suggested, "Water balloon fight?"

...

"Go stand in the corner, New Jersey."

"But... yo. We're outside..."

"Then shut up and let me explain today's challenge. Today... we fight."

Chris kicked open several metal chests in front of him, revealing dozens of airsoft guns with ammunition. Chris grinned. "We're doing a civil war reenactment! Each team must defend their zone. There are five zones in the town. We have permission to do this for exactly one hour, so don't let me down, kids. The goal is to defend your location, while focusing on attacking other locations. If you lose your location... then you go to voting for the night. That means the potential for four people to be voted off tonight is real, regardless of how unlikely that is. Just so, there is potential for _nobody_ to be voted off tonight. It all depends on what happens during the battle."

"Oh, yeah. Each pellet has a tiny amount of anesthetic coating the outside of it. Meaning, if you get hit by one, the anesthetic coating the outside should seep into your skin. Don't be alarmed, you'll only be knocked cold for about two hours unless given a special drug that wakes you up, according to my medical Intern. And don't worry, the pellets are plastic. It's not like you'll start bleeding or anything."

A few people began taking guns. Chris smiled, and yelled, "I will give you ten minutes to get guns, get situated, and to find your way to your location. After that, you have fifty minutes to defend and to attack! And, to provide an incentive, since I know you guys love those..."

Plastic crates were lifted from the back of a cargo truck, bearing the inscriptions "TEAM AMERICA" and the such. Inside the boxes, hundreds of small devices sat. Chris grinned wickedly, and yelled, "For every location you control that was not originally yours by the end of the game... you get three days to use your previously confiscated electronics. Additionally, for every location you _liberate_, as in, it was previously captured but you gave it back to the original owner, you get an additional three days. Everyone in the liberated territory will be administered the wake-up drug."

Silence.

And then, every single contestant began plotting on how to take as many territories as possible. Chris smiled satisfactorily at the result, and yelled over the din, "I'll see you guys at lunch time!"

**9:57 AM.**

"Formations! Single file!"

North Dakota, holding a rather large automatic airsoft rifle, led her mock army up towards their assigned location, which was somewhere near a church in the center of town. Her sister walked beside her, carrying double airsoft pistols, and glancing around warily. "There!" she yelped, pointing at a tall steeple in the distance. "That's our church. It looks like we're in the center of town..."

"No matter," North Dakota reminded her sister. "This is the challenge we've been waiting for. Right when the buzzer rings, we attack the closest person to us, and close out all flanks. Then, we work our way towards the other locations."

A few people were shocked at her instant formulation of a plan. North Dakota then yelled, "This isn't a challenge where you sit around! We attack _quickly_ and _without mercy_. Execute all members of the team once the location is captured. And above all? Don't be stupid and get shot."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_36_mp3**

"It's times like these that I really respect my sister. I remember when we were little, she used to have giant toy infantry wars with me, complete with war crime trials afterwards. I have a box of chopped-off toy soldier heads at home. I'm not even kidding about that."

South Dakota

**9:59 AM.**

"So this is our location, huh?" Connecticut asked, glancing around. Team Democracy's hold-out location was a small, empty diner near the railroad tracks. To the north, the Potomac River sleepily made its way east. "I guess we can just hold out here," Massachusetts murmured, sitting on a bar stool. "I'm not sure if we're really up for marching into a territory and fighting. I mean, what do you guys think?"

Pennsylvania shrugged, sitting in a booth with a few of the other girls. New York muttered, "I don't really feel like it. I mean, I'd love to have my phone and all, but... I'm just worn out. Plus, we got in second place last challenge. That's the best we've ever done. I don't think we can top that."

Suddenly, off in the distance, a buzzer rang loud and clear. "That's the start!" Connecticut yelled, raising an airsoft shotgun in shaking hands. "We might have to watch for someone coming."

BRATTA-TAT-TATTA

Pellets battered the windows of the diner. New Jersey, Delaware, and New Hampshire, who were all standing outside, were hit, and within seconds fell on the ground, slumped over. "Get down!" Massachusetts screamed, pulling New York to the floor. More pellets were sprayed at the diner as the door was burst open. Massachusetts readied his pistol, and took aim at the door as he lay on his stomach. Beside him, Pennsylvania slumped onto the tiled floor. New York was hit in the leg, and fell. Massachusetts squinted, and saw a figure move up - he took aim - and shot.

BAP. A pellet struck Kansas in the forehead, letting him fall to the ground. "There's still one awake!" North Dakota screamed. She pointed her machine gun at Massachusetts, and unloaded around eight pellets into his face. His head hit the tile, and the pistol scattered right out of his hands. "Is that everybody? North Dakota asked, looking around the diner. "We lost Kansas," South Dakota murmured, inspecting the teen lying on the ground. "Take the guns from here. Put them in a box!" North Dakota ordered, and Utah and Nebraska immediately got on it. "That's one territory down! Yes!" North Dakota yelled.

**10:04 AM.**

"Did you guys hear that?" Wisconsin asked his team. Team America was situated on the outskirts of town, on a small farm that looked over Harpers Ferry. Ohio shrugged. "It sounded like a lot of popping..." Wisconsin added, readying his shotgun. "Yeah, I heard it too!" Virginia commented. "But the buzzer just rang. I guess someone's already been shot."

Just then, a buzzer rang in the distance, and a voice cried, "Team Dakota has captured Team Democracy's territory! Team Dakota now controls two out of five territories!"

Ohio groaned. "Already? Wow. What do we do?"

"Hold our position!" Virginia simply said, looking down at the town, where several figures patrolled. "Team Dakota may control the town now, but it's up to us to keep them from taking us, too. We stand strong together!"

**10:11 AM.**

Washington was pacing once again. The team was situated on a hillside west of the city. Down below in the town, Chris had just announced that Team Dakota had just captured Team Democracy's territory.

"What should we do? D'you think we need to attack?" New Mexico asked, looking around at his team and holding an assault rifle. Washington looked up. "North Dakota's going to keep attacking. That much is obvious. It looks like she just wanted to take someone by surprise at the start, but I think she'll keep going. Possibly up here. Now, the hard part for her is going to be holding _on_ to her territory."

New Mexico nodded at that slowly, evidently understanding. Washington continued, "She may be headed here soon to try to take our territory. We're all alone up here. I say we attack before she does. If possible... we take Team Democracy's territory, too."

"Can't we, like... liberate them?" Oregon asked politely. "Like, they could be a nice ally."

Washington shrugged, and looked wary. "You can't trust other teams in this situation. We might just be able to take the two territories, and hold on to 'em. Above all, don't get shot."

Nods were exchanged. "Alright. Are you guys ready?" Washington asked. "We march down and take Team Dakota's territory. Make sure nobody escapes, alright?"

"Let's do this!" New Mexico cheered, leading the battle cry. Even California got into it, waving her pistols around like crazy. The eight teens sprinted down the hill towards the town.

**10:16 AM.**

Colorado was patrolling the perimeter of the two territories controlled by Team Dakota, carrying a rather heavy airsoft shotgun. He paused, glancing around. The morning sun rose higher and higher as the day went on, but right now, his duty was to appease the Glorious Leader by defending the territory. Colorado paused, glancing into the woods outside town.

"Swear I saw something..." he murmured, raising his shotgun to point at the trees. Silence for a few moments. "Who goes there?" he yelled, looking into the darkness.

BAP. A sniper shot nailed him in the head. He yelped, but fell down with a thud on the ground. Silence, and then footsteps approached cautiously. "Are you sure he's not fakin', dude?" Hawaii asked walking up with the rest of his team. Washington held out a hand, and inspected Colorado's face. A slight bruise was right in the middle of his forehead. Washington nodded, and said, "He's down. Nice shot, Arizona."

She smiled, and reloaded her rifle with another pellet. "My pleasure. Let's go."

The troops marched deeper into the town, growing ever-more cautious of discovering more troops. "Look sharp!" Washington whispered, pointing carefully more patrols up ahead. It was Minnesota, who seemed to be having a hushed chat with Nebraska. They both looked incredibly afraid, as though either they knew that they were in danger, or that they were doing something they weren't supposed to. "I've got this!" Nevada suddenly exclaimed, rushing forward sneakily. "Wait!" Washington exclaimed, raising a hand. "Don't-"

Suddenly, Minnesota spotted Nevada, who froze. "Fire!" New Mexico shouted, and the eight teens rushed out to attack Minnesota and Nebraska.

The battle was quick, but intense. It ended with Nebraska sprinting off deeper into the town, leaving Minnesota's limp frame lying on the pavement. Washington gasped for breath. "We lose anyone?"

"Nevada," Oregon murmured, looking worried. "She got hit trying to sneak up... and we only took out Minnesota."

"We push forward, and fast," Washington decided, after dragging Nevada's body to a more secluded location. "Nebraska likely warned North Dakota that we're on our way. Come on. We attack!"

The now seven members of Team Victory rushed forwards, guns raised. Ahead, four teenagers stood around; North Dakota, South Dakota, Utah, and Oklahoma all saw Nebraska running up to them - there was a pause - North Dakota pointed towards the approaching army of Team Victory-

BRATTA-TAT-TATTA-TAT-TATTA. Nebraska was hit in the back of the head, and fell.

The firefight roared on. Instantly, Idaho from Team Victory was struck, and fell to the pavement. Oregon took aim at North Dakota, but was almost hit by a huge spray of pellets. A few moments later, and Arizona made the killing shot against Utah. Seconds later, and Oklahoma was down, courtesy of New Mexico. It was happening: Team Dakota was retreating into Team Democracy's diner.

A buzzer rang out, and Chris's amplified voice shouted, "Team Victory captures Team Dakota's original location! Just a reminder, there are thirty minutes remaining!"

"Stand strong!" North Dakota screamed, but was interrupted by a spray of pellets once more - South Dakota was hit, and tumbled to the floor. "Drop the gun, North Dakota!" Washington yelled, running up with his team. Nebraska's body lay on the road. North Dakota was the only surviving member of her team. "Drop the gun, and you don't get shot."

There was an instant of frigid silence. The standoff was strong. Eyes were swiveling between the two. And then North Dakota took aim-

BRATTA-TAT. California squealed loudly as a line of pellets slammed into her. She fell to the ground twitching. "_FIRE!_" Washington cried, and like a firing squad, Team Victory all unloaded upon North Dakota, who fell.

Silence.

And then, a buzzer rang out once more. Chris's voice shouted triumphantly, "Team Victory captures Team Democracy's original location! Team Victory, please raise your hands if you would like to liberate this location back to Team Democracy!"

A pause. By the instruction of Washington, no hands were raised.

"Team Democracy's original location has been captured by Team Victory! Team Victory now controls three out of five territories!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_37_mp3**

"I've got to give Washington props for that. I never knew the kid had it in him. Even though I'm actively plotting every single contestant's demise on my... er, Chris's show, I still respect that kid."

North Dakota

**10:24 AM.**

"Welp, looks like we lost!" Texas cried after hearing Chris's latest announcements. "Team Victory marches over here and takes the remainin' two teams. It's been fun, y'all."

"Now, hold on, it ain't over yet," Alabama cut in. "We still got thirty minutes left in this game. Now, the way I see it, we ain't winnin' this thing on our own. Y'all know what I'm gettin' at here?"

"I think I see what he means," Florida slowly said. "You think we should ally with Team America."

Alabama nodded. "Bingo. I ain't sure if they'll trust us or anythin', but it's our _best_ bet at beatin' Team Victory. Unless you guys wanna sit on our asses and get shot up."

"Hell, no!" Louisiana cheered. "We're the goddamned South!"

"Hell, yeah, we are!" Texas joined in. "We're gonna march right up to Team America and we are gonna _demand_ they help us take _back_ this town!"

Cheers went up in the air. "Then what are we waiting for?" Alabama shouted. "We _march!_"

**10:38 AM.**

Kentucky sat on the ground, absentmindedly picking at blades of grass. Around him, the members of Team America patrolled, keeping a keen eye on the town. It appeared as though Team Victory was busy trying to regroup and figure out what to do next.

"Any visuals?" Virginia asked her team. Ohio squinted in the distance, and frowned. "Negative. Everyone's just grouped up in the middle of town... wait."

Virginia glanced back at Ohio. "What?"

"...there's a ton of people... oh, God, I think Team Touchdown wants to fight."

"Positions, everybody!" Virginia screamed, and everybody got in a defensive stance, awaiting Team Touchdown's arrival. "Stand your ground!" Virginia shouted at the approaching team, but... they all had their hands up. "We come in peace!" Alabama shouted at Team America. "We seek to ally!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_38_mp3**

"Allyin' Team America may have been the best idea my boyfrien's had on this show yet. Team America's real nice! I never knew."

Mississippi

**10:42 AM.**

"Liberation, huh?" Virginia mused, thinking it over. Alabama looked at her expectantly. "We liberate Team Democracy and take Team Dakota's territory. Then, we take over Team Victory's. It's a flawless plan. We saw Team Victory, and they only have like _five people_. There's no way they can hold onto three territories."

Virginia was just nodding slowly at Alabama's plan. The two teams seemed to be mingling at the moment, particularly the girls. Arkansas found companionship in Michigan and Wisconsin. North Carolina was finally reunited with her sister, South Carolina. "Okay..." Virginia murmured. "Okay. We'll do it. On one condition."

"Lay it on me."

"We liberate Team Dakota."

...

"...why? North Dakota attacked first."

"Because," Virginia explained, "we can use the fact that we liberated her team for strategy later on. You know... get on her good side. If she's smart, someone like North Dakota is likely to be a finalist later in the game."

Alabama nodded. "Alright. We ready to go? We only got like twenty minutes to do this."

"Let's go!" Ohio cheered, as the two teams were united. "For freedom!"

Cheers of "_For freedom!_" went up in the air, as the two teams of nine marched down to the town.

**10:45 AM.**

The Battle of Harpers Ferry. August 2nd, 2014. Almost eleven AM.

A century and a half had passed since a battle was fought here. But now, it was time to go to war once again.

The teams of America and Touchdown marched forwards, propelled by sheer patriotism and a thrill for battle.

Of course, down in Team Victory, things were much, much different.

"I have a really, really bad feeling about this," Oregon worried, looking towards the hills. Washington glanced over at him. "We'll be fine. Remember, we have sheer size on our side. We control three territories. Each of their teams only controls one."

"But..." Oregon began, "that's the thing. We have to protect three territories, and we only have five people..."

"Shush," Washington muttered, reloading his assault rifle. "We'll be fine. I'll protect you if the need rises."

Oregon looked slightly grateful at that, smiling shyly. And then, the need arose.

BRATTA-TAT-TATTA. The sound of machine guns filled the air, as eighteen teenagers ran down the hills towards the town. Oregon was struck, and fell over without so much as a yelp. "Augh!" Washington screamed as his friend fell over. "_Fuck!_ No! _Oregon!_ Oh, God..."

Washington began sprinting back towards town, jumping over the limp frames of fallen members of Team Dakota along the way. "Retreat!" Washington screamed at Arizona and New Mexico, who were chatting along in the middle of the street. "They got Oregon! _Retreat!_"

Hawaii attempted taking a few shots at the approaching army, but there were just too many of them. And just like that, Team Dakota's original territory was retaken.

"Team America has taken Team Dakota's original territory!" a loudspeaker declared moments later. "Team America! Would you like to liberate this territory? Raise your hands if you would!"

Hands were raised, although slightly uncertainly. Chris declared, "Team Dakota's territory has been liberated! Team Dakota is back in the game!"

"You sure that was such a good idea?" Ohio asked Virginia, who waved him down as college interns rushed into the streets, administering anti-sleep drugs to all those who had fallen on Team Dakota. "It'll help us later on. I can promise you that," Virginia assured him.

A few minutes went by, and then the members of Team Dakota began to stir again. Nebraska groggily awoke. "Is it over?" he asked stupidly, glancing around from the pavement where he laid. "You're back in the game!" Texas announced to the now awoken team. "Now, we take the diner!"

Within minutes, Team Touchdown retook the diner, shooting down Arizona in the process, horrifying New Mexico. "Yes!" Tennessee shouted, as the territory was retaken. "We did it!"

"Team Touchdown has taken Team Democracy's territory!" Chris's amplified voice yelled. "Team Touchdown, please raise your hands if you would like to liberate this territory back to Team Democracy!"

"I never thought I'd be helping out a bunch of Yankees..." Texas muttered, raising his hands. Within moments, the interns appeared once more, administering wake-up drugs to the fallen members of Team Democracy. And minutes, later, they were awake. "What happened?" Massachusetts asked sleepily. "It's not over, is it?"

"You guys've been liberated," Texas explained dully. "We're busy trying to beat Team Victory into the hole they belong in. You guys with us?"

"What?" Massachusetts asked, fearful. "Why Team Victory? No! Team Dakota took us over! Get them!"

Texas raised a shotgun and pointed it at Massachusetts's face, as the other members of Team Democracy awoke. "If you don't help us, we'll shoot you all right here and now," Texas explained calmly.

...

"...okay, fine, we'll... help."

"Good. Now, to take Team Victory's territory!"

After enough people had risen, it was decided to lead the march to Team Victory's territory, the hillside west of town. By now, only three contestants remained from that team: Washington, Hawaii, and New Mexico. Thirty-four contestants, the added manpower of four fully awoken armies, marched upwards to exterminate the three from Team Victory who resisted.

"Oh, my God..." Washington muttered, as the sound of stomping boots approached. "Jeeesus. Why are they attacking us? And why did they resurrect North Dakota's army? She was planning to take them out!"

"I don't know, bro," Hawaii said, looking desperate at the town below. "But I think we should surrender."

"No!" Washington yelped. "If we do, we go to voting! We stand our ground. The timer should be up in ten minutes..."

"You think we can hold our own against thirty people?" New Mexico asked, skeptical. "We surrender."

Washington looked at the approaching teens, who were raising their guns at the three. "Agh... I wish there was a way out of this... I mean, they're all ganging up on _us!_ Even Team Democracy."

"Surrender now!" North Dakota exclaimed, leading the march. "Washington, New Mexico, and Hawaii! Surrender now, or you will be shot!"

They were surrounded. Hawaii and New Mexico put their guns down. North Dakota smirked, and pointed hers at Washington. "Does this seem familiar? Seriously, though. Drop the gun."

Washington glanced at New Mexico and Hawaii, who nodded, with their hands in the air. He cautiously set his assault rifle on the grass, and raised his hands above his head.

"Good."

BAP-BAP-BAP. New Mexico, Hawaii, and Washington were all shot in the forehead by members of Team Dakota. "Wait, what the hell, North Dakota?" New York yelled. "They surrendered! You weren't supposed to shoot them!"

"Team Dakota has captured Team Victory's original location! Just in time, too!" Chris's amplified voice cried. "The round is over! I will tally up how many days you kids get to use your electronics!"

There was a silence, as North Dakota smirked, having gained an extra three days to use electronics for her team. Virginia was looking regretful about liberating Team Dakota now. "Alright!" Chris yelled, approaching from the town in person. "That was awesome! Team Dakota! You get three days to use your electronics. Team Touchdown, for liberating one territory, you get three days, and Team America gets three days for liberating a territory. Team Victory is going to the chopping block tonight, it looks like!"

Silence.

And then, the phones were distributed to the teams. Cheers were in the air.

**12:49 PM.**

"My head..." Oregon murmured, lying on the couch of Team Victory's speeding bus. "It feels like someone shot me... like, with a real gun..."

Washington was sitting at the kitchen table, head in his hands. "Yeah... I can't believe we lost. This sucks. What'd we do wrong?"

New Mexico walked in with an ice pack on his forehead. "Well, we didn't liberate Team Democracy. That would probably have helped," he muttered. Washington nodded. "Yeah. I feel bad about that now. We really could have used, like, what? Eight extra people? By the time we defeated Team Dakota, we were down to five. Still not sure why everyone decided to gang up on us in the end."

...

"So... who do we vote off?" New Mexico inquired. "Everyone kind of did their part."

Washington shrugged, groaning with the physical effort. "I dunno. I don't want to think about it."

...

"So... who should we _not_ vote for? Y'know, just so I know how not to get on your bad side..."

Washington glanced at New Mexico, who was twiddling his thumbs and looking at the carpeted floor. Oregon looked up at the absence of noise. "I'm not a bad guy, New Mexico," Washington informed him. "I'm not going to vote someone off just because I don't like them or whatever. I'm not North Dakota..."

...

"...okay, fine. I'll make a list for you on who not to vote for."

Washington hastily scribbled it down on a piece of paper, and handed it to New Mexico. He carefully took it.

OREGON, NEW MEXICO, ARIZONA

"...this is a list?" New Mexico asked. Washington nodded. "These are the only people?"

Washington nodded again, eyes closed and head lying back. New Mexico chuckled, looking at the list. "Wow. I'm flattered. You don't really get attached to people, huh?"

A shake of the head from Washington, who then quietly said, "I try to take a rational approach to this show. If I let emotions get in the way, my chances of winning fall. My goal is to think objectively and without bias. And, that's not to say I don't have friends, by the way. I like everyone on this team right now. Those people," Washington gave a glance at New Mexico, "are the people who I specifically _wouldn't_ want you to vote off."

**7:01 PM.**

Chris smiled, looking at the eight teens in a rather large parking lot of a local grocery store in the outskirts of West Virginia. "You guys have a lot of firsts!" he yelled. "First team to lose their second person. First team to lose their _third_ person! Very exciting. When I call your name, you get a snack, yadda-yadda-yadda. You guys know the drill. I'll begin."

...

"Arizona, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington! No votes!"

Chris tossed packs of gum to each person he mentioned. He then proceeded to look deviously at the remaining four contestants: Idaho, Hawaii, California, and Nevada.

"Each of you got at least one vote! Uh oh, you might be saying. Why me? Well, I dunno. People just dislike you, I guess."

...

"Hawaii! One vote, brother."

A bag of gummy worms went to Hawaii, which he immediately opened. Chris grinned at the remaining three.

...

"Idaho! One vote! I've got some smarties right here."

The Canadian candy was tossed to Idaho, who took it appreciatively. There were only two contestants remaining: California and Nevada. Nevada glanced nervously around, while California smiled as though she were the star of the show now. "This is the last snack!" Chris yelled, pointing at a bottle of Gatorade in his hands. "This will grant you life! Freedom! But there's one bottle... and two of you."

Nothing. California kept her bright smile on. "No?" Chris said, slightly disappointed. "You don't care that you might be voted against?"

California glanced around at her team. "Isn't this some sort of election?" she asked, still smiling.

...

Everyone stared at her.

...

...

...

"I'm gonna regret this," Chris muttered, "but the last snack goes to California. Two votes."

California caught the Gatorade cheerfully. "Yaaay! Which one of you wants to be Vice President?"

Nevada stood, holding back the tears. "Sorry, Nevada," Chris mumbled. "You got four votes. Pack up your stuff, and hop in the cab of losers!"

A shy, "Bye, guys," was elicited from her, as tears welled up in her eyes. A few people avoided her gaze. She hesitated, and then ran into the bus to get her things. Chris smiled his famous, most likely copy-written smile, and said, "Well! Team Victory dwindles down to seven members. Who's next? What challenge will we have next Wednesday? Find out the answer to all of these questions, and more, on the next episode of: The Fifty State Roadtrip!"

**10:28 PM.**

It was late at night. Team Victory's bus followed the other buses, heading west to the next destination of Nevada. Oregon was busy sketching something out in his sketchpad, while Arizona and Washington sat across from each other at the kitchen table, playing "Who Am I", the game where you write something on the other person's forehead, and you have to guess what's on your forehead.

On Arizona's forehead, the word New Mexico sat. On Washington's forehead, Arizona had written Joseph Stalin.

...

"Am I a lady?" Washington asked. Arizona shook her head, and then asked, "Am I someone I know in real life?"

"Yes," Washington replied. "Am I someone who is currently alive?"

"Nope. Am I someone on this team?"

"Yes... jeez, I gave you an easy one. Am I a past president?"

"No. Am I... Oregon?"

"Wrong," Washington replied, grinning. "Now answer me this. Did I... live in the 1900's?"

"...yes. Am I you?"

"No, that'd be pretty conceited of me. Am I Winston Churchill?"

"Nope. Am I _me?_"

"Wrong again, Arizona. Am I... did I live in Europe?"

"I think so. Am I New Mexico?"

...

"...yes. Jesus, Arizona, you're pretty good at this."

Arizona took the note card off her forehead. Her face fell. "Um... just speaking in strict confidentiality here..." she muttered, looking at the name and glancing around. Only Oregon was in the room with them.

There was a pause. Washington then spoke.

"You like New Mexico, don't you?"

...

"No! Well... I mean, sort of... how'd you know?"

"Uh... lucky guess. But, hypothetically speaking, what if I told you he's _also_... shown attraction to you?"

Arizona looked uncertain. "I mean... well, since we're speaking purely hypothetically here... I would be interested in seeking companionship, but did he really say that to you?"

...

"Yep."

...

Arizona stood. "I think I need to go talk with him again. Thanks, Washington."

Washington gave a little wave as she walked out. "My pleasure. Good luck."

Oregon watched her stride out the room, and whistled. "Wow. You're a matchmaker, huh?" Washington glanced over at Oregon, and muttered, "I thought about what you said, about couples uniting teams, and I think it could be useful. This is just an experiment to see how well it works."

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, and Nevada.

**aspiringAnimator **- I officially need challenge ideas! While I have challenges for every single upcoming episode, I don't like some of them. Having fifty contestants means having like fifty challenges, and some of them are frankly quite dull. Send me ideas via review (preferably) or PM, whatever. I just need some good ones. The more interesting a challenge is, the more fun it is to write for! Look at this one, for instance. Military strategy? Hells of yes. Not only was this episode fun to write for, it was also one of the longest ones to date. So send in your ideas! Chances are, if it's good, it'll end up in the fic, blazoned down for all to see for eternity.

Also, the poll is still up, for voting on which contestant you're rooting for! It's at my profile if you wanna vote.


	11. Deserted in the Desert

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia, and Wisconsin.

**EPISODE 10: DESERTED IN THE DESERT**

_"So, does this mean we're actually together?" - Arizona_

**Wednesday, August 6th, 2014. Mojave Desert, Nevada. 10:12 AM.**

Five buses sped through the desert landscape of eastern Nevada. Most people were exhausted after the previous challenge, which featured just too much running around and physical activity. However, three teams enjoyed a little recreation: Teams America, Touchdown, and Dakota all had gained three total days to use electronics.

Well, mostly, anyways.

North Dakota had confiscated her team's electronics.

"We won it as a team!" Minnesota exclaimed, pointing at a plastic container holding dozens of phones. North Dakota glanced up at from her phone to look at Minnesota with a sneer. "No, I did. Besides, we can't have you contacting the outside world. It's too dangerous... for you, I mean. I wouldn't want you to find out what people are saying about you..."

Minnesota's eyes grew wide. "Wait, what? What are people saying about me?"

North Dakota shrugged. "Doesn't matter. But, according to this poll right here, I'm the fifth most talked about contestant on this show... I'm not sure where you on this list, but maybe you'll find a comfortable position near the bottom..."

With that, North Dakota turned, and sat down on the couch, flicking her finger over her phone. Minnesota scoffed, and turned to South Dakota. "Can you help me?"

South Dakota appeared wary, and glanced at her sister cautiously. "Uhhh... I don't know, Minnesota... if North Dakota says..."

"But you can use _your phone__!_" Minnesota exclaimed, pointing at a slight bulge in South Dakota's pocket. North Dakota noticed the conversation, and exclaimed from the couch, "That's because she's my _sister_, and is the only person on this team that I actually _like_. Now stop complaining and shut up."

Minnesota glared at North Dakota, yet retreated to the bunk rooms. She met with Nebraska briefly.

"Any good?" he asked in a low whisper. She shook her head. "Nope. No good. She's a tyrant."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_39_mp3**

"Okay, I admit it, and I'd better do this quickly before North Dakota notices I'm using the confessional. Nebraska and I are plotting to overthrow North Dakota. I was the one who voted for North Dakota. There, I said it. She's insane. She acts like she's a dictator. With her kind of attitude and reckless behavior, everyone on this team will end up being kicked off before we even merge, including me. This isn't just me trying to take power. This is Nebraska and I saving this team."

Minnesota

**11:03 AM.**

"I have a fan base of two hundred thousand people..."

Texas was gaping at his cell phone, which had finally been freed from its plastic container after the previous challenge. Fan sites were already up. Fan fictions had been hastily written. "Yo! Al!" Texas yelled. Alabama was cuddling with Mississippi over on the bus's couch. "What's up, Tex?" Alabama asked.

"What's Texabama mean? People've got all these stories on this website. Ahahahaha! Some of 'em are about me."

Alabama stood to take a look at Texas's phone, and told him, "I dunno. Texabama means we're on the same team or somethin'. Hey, check this out, y'all. I got twenty thousand followers on Twitter... man, I wish we could use these phones durin' the whole show. We're celebrities now. I bet my folks bought me a limousine already."

Texas nodded, reading the fic further. He frowned. "I dunno, dude, some of this looks like it's in another language. What's 'yaoi' mean? I think it's Chinese."

Alabama shrugged, and looked out the window. "We're in the desert now. Looks like one of them western movies..."

South Carolina waltzed in, and chimed, "Hey, y'all! We're in Nevada now! Chris said we'll be there soon, I think!"

"Good," Texas muttered, setting down his phone. "As much as I like playin' on my phone, sittin' in buses for three days straight kinda tends to get to your head. What's the challenge?"

"I ain't sure," South Carolina admitted, peering out the blinds. "But... it looks like we're in the middle of nowhere..."

**11:57 AM.**

Five buses sat idle in the middle of the Mojave Desert in southern Nevada. The hot August sun beamed down upon everyone, a sweltering heat that probably would've made Alaska collapse within moments, if she were still here. Chris was wearing a thin tank top, and shades. He seemed to be enjoying the sun. "Good afternoon, contestants! First things first. For the teams that won their electronics for the past three days, they are being confiscated as I speak. You might get them back later this season. I'm not too sure! I don't particularly care if you get to play with your phones or not."

A number of Interns were rummaging through the buses now. A few teenagers were forced to take theirs out of their pockets and give them up. Chris smiled, and continued, "Would you like to know why you're standing in the middle of the Mojave Desert, without civilization in sight?"

Nobody said anything. A few people shrugged. Chris's grin vanished. "Okay, fine, be that way. Your challenge is to get to Las Vegas. Do you know which direction Las Vegas is in? No! Do you know how far away from Las Vegas you are? No! First team to bring everyone from their team wins. Last team loses, and goes to voting. It's a simple challenge, kids! Just make your way through the desert."

A pause. Chris then waved. "Bye!" he yelled, and hopped into his limousine. Moments later, the five buses geared up, and sped away, reduced to nothing more than a cloud of dust in the distance.

Silence.

Forty-one teenagers were in the middle of the desert all by themselves, all alone, with no water, no food, and no shelter.

...

And then, the worst idea unimaginable was suggested by none other than Kentucky.

"Let's split up!"

A brief pause, as a few people glanced at him. And then, the five teams began walking their separate ways.

**12:20 PM.**

"Christ, it's hot..."

Oregon was waving his hand madly at his face. Washington had his shirt off, and was wearing it as a hood. "It's not so bad, guys!" New Mexico exclaimed. "I mean, yeah, it's a long distance, and we aren't sure where we are, but the temperature's not _that_ bad!"

Arizona walked comfortably right beside New Mexico. There seemed to be a connection between the two contestants. "I've felt worse heats," she mused. "We're probably one of the best teams suited for this challenge."

"Speak for yourself," Washington gasped, trudging slightly behind the others. "It's so scorchingly hot. I'm not sure what Chris is thinking. How's he going to film this? I don't see any camera crews, and it's not like there are microphones embedded in the sand..."

"He has his ways of filming," Hawaii informed wisely. "You'd be surprised by what they come up with these days, dudes. Yo, I wouldn't be surprised if we're being filmed by satellite or something."

"So, we're, like, being filmed all the time?" California asked, wearing a big pair of sunglasses. "Oooh! Neat! It's like we're on one of those reality shows!"

...

**12:29 PM.**

"...furthermore, if the sun is directly overhead, but moving at a rate of fifteen degrees across the sky per hour, we should really only need to wait for twenty minutes to find out which direction it's going, and figure out which direction Las Vegas is from here!"

Massachusetts finished his speech. Everyone stared at him.

...

"I don't follow that at all," Connecticut deadpanned. Massachusetts sighed, and announced, "Look, guys. All we really need to do is wait for twenty minutes. We prop something up, and watch its shadow move. Right now, the sun is almost in the middle of the sky, so... we can't figure out which direction north is. New York predicted we're north-east from Nevada, just judging on the geography, which is... really, really flat."

Everyone glanced around. Indeed, most of the other teams had already ran off in whichever direction they deemed fit. The horizon could be almost seen clearly, apart from some mountains to the west. "It seems like kind of a bad idea to just sit here for twenty minutes, though..." New Jersey worried. "And it is really... really hot."

Massachusetts shook his head sporadically. "Nope. Everyone else likely went in the wrong direction. Once we know which direction we're facing, we can work out which was Las Vegas is. Trust me on this, you guys. This could be the challenge that we _actually_ _win_."

**1:11 PM.**

One PM. Team America slowly trudged north through the desert.

"We need water..." Michigan gasped. Even Ohio nodded in agreement. Everyone was sweating profusely. "Why... why didn't Chris let us bring any... supplies?"

"I don't know," Virginia honestly answered. "He's... he's a maniac, he is. Where are we... where are we going?"

The team stopped to look around. All around, a flat expanse of plain sand extended as far as the eye could see. Wisconsin scratched his head, and muttered, "We're going to... to Vegas. I wish we had a map... I'm really good with maps..."

The sun beamed down on the nine teenagers. "Maybe we should take a break?" North Carolina suggested. Nods were shared, and the team sat down for a quick break.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_40_mp3**

"This show is stupid. The prize isn't even worth it anymore. Like, _oh__, I'm so sorry we couldn't trek hundreds of miles in the middle of the desert, Chris_. These challenges we're being forced to do are such a waste of time. I'm just here so I can get away from my parents."

Indiana

**2:04 PM.**

"Nah, man, I'm _tellin'_ you. They got a _freshman_ on the 2014 'Bama roster. David Cornwell. Look 'em up."

"Alabama's losin' this year. Hate to break it to ya, Al."

"No we ain't! And don't start spoutin' 'bout LSU again. They're dirty cheats."

"LSU's got Jared Foster. Dude's built like a freight train. Ain't no way you can put someone like David Cornwell 'gainst him. Never even heard of that dude before. That's how bad Alabama's gonna suck this year."

"Tex, you don't know _nothin'_ 'bout football. Your team couldn't catch a _fly ball_."_  
_

"Fly balls are from baseball, idiot! An' you know I don't go for Texas. LSU's gonna win this year, Bama. Y'all'd better mark my words."

"Whatever, man. Where are we?"

The two guys stopped. They'd been separated from their team. All around them, dry sands extended as far as the eye could see.

...

"We lost?"

"No we ain't, Tex. I bet if we had a, uh, circumference, we could figure out-"

"Circumferences are for circles, dummy!"

"Earth _is_ a circle!"

"You think Earth is a circle? Like a CD? Man, you're a special kind of stupid..."

"You _know_ what I mean, Tex. It's a ball. Where's my girl at?"

"Mississippi? Probably with all them other girls. And Arkansas. I bet he's rollin' in the chicks now."

"Dude, he's gay. I swear on my life."

"You kiddin', Al? That dude's got it good with Florida. Winkin' at each other an' shit."

"That's probably 'cause Florida's a lesb-"

"Wait, shut up, Alabama-"

"No, I'm tellin' you, they probably got a pact or somethin'-"

"Shut up! I hear somethin'!"

Alabama and Texas, all alone in the middle of the Mojave desert, stopped to listen. "You hear that?" Texas asked, glancing around at the flat landscape. Alabama scrunched his face up in concentration, and muttered, "Sounds like... sounds like cars or somethin'... we near a highway?"

"Hell, yeah, it's a highway! We're gonna hitch hike our way out of this mess. C'mon, Al! Wait 'til we see everyone's faces when we get there before everyone else."

**3:13 PM.**

Team Dakota stood on a tall hill, squinting around at their surroundings. All around, flat sands extended, apart from the small hill they stood upon. "That's it," North Dakota sighed. "We're going to die out here."

Nobody said anything, as talking immediately after the Glorious Leader is generally frowned upon.

"Wait. I just remembered."

North Dakota snapped her fingers, and grinned slyly. She reached into her pocket, and produced a small cellphone with a blue case. "I may have saved one before Chris took them all again."

Minnesota gaped. "Isn't that mine?"

"Yep. Is that a problem?"

Eyes were swiveling between the two girls. Minnesota shrugged, but glared at North Dakota. "No, no problems here." North Dakota nodded haughtily in satisfaction, and tapped into the phone's GPS system.

...

"We're about six miles from Las Vegas. It's should be over past those hills westwards."

Whoops went up in the air, as South Dakota worriedly whispered to her sister, "Are you sure this is such a good idea? You know we aren't supposed to use cell phones, Chris took them all..."

North Dakota waved her down as the team began to move again. "Relax," she whispered back. "This is Minnesota's phone. If there's a problem, Chris will blame her. Now let's hurry."

**4:50 PM.**

"I see it!" Pennsylvania suddenly yelled to her team as the eight ran south. "I see Las Vegas! Don't you guys see the buildings?"

Sure enough, tall buildings dotted the landscape up ahead. Team Democracy was growing close. "Haha! _Yes__!_ We're actually gonna win this thing!" New York cheered. Within half an hour, Team Democracy would be the first to reach the city, winning their first challenge for the very first time. The other teams, however... were far from getting anywhere _near_ civilization._  
_

A hazy sun began to dip below the sun-bleached horizon. Team Democracy had arrived in the designated location in Las Vegas. Team Victory had arrived less than an hour later by sheer luck, after heading in the same direction and then promptly turning around after several hours. An hour later, and Team Dakota arrived, after being aided by the GPS system North Dakota slyly kept. Only teams America and Touchdown remained.

The teams that _did_ arrive, however, were enjoying a pretty nice party in the parking lot of a motel. Team Victory and Team Democracy were playing a huge round of Truth or Dare using a spun bottle. By the orders of North Dakota, Team Dakota was sitting in a circle away from everyone. Doing nothing.

A bottle was spun, and pointed at Connecticut. "Truth or dare!" New Jersey declared, having just ripped a twenty dollar bill as his dare. "Truth," Connecticut stammered.

"What's your real name, bro?"

"WRONG QUESTION!" Chris screamed, running up and pointing at New Jersey. "You do _not_ ask contestants to reveal their names! Ever! Go stand in the corner, New Jersey!"

"But... yo. We're outside..."

"Then shut up and don't ask that question again."

A brief silence. Connecticut grinned, and grabbed the bottle. "Guess I don't have to answer that." He spun, and it pointed at California, who yelped in glee. "Truth or dare," Connecticut said.

"Dare!" she exclaimed back.

"I dare you to... convincingly act as though Massachusetts is your boyfriend."

"What?" Massachusetts yelped, startled. "Aw, no... man, why me?"

"Okay!" California consented, and walked up to Massachusetts, quickly stating, "You may be short and on the other team and gay and wear dorky sweater vests all the time, but you're really cute and I want to be your girlfriend!"

"He's gay?" a few people from Team Victory asked simultaneously.

"For the last time, I'm not g-"

"You win, California!" Connecticut exclaimed. "You get to spin the bottle now."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_41_mp3**

"I wouldn't _really_ want to date what's-his-name. It'd be like a cheerleader dating a kid from the Astronomy club or something. Gross. I didn't want to be mean, though. And he _is_ cute."

California

**4:57 PM.**

As Massachusetts blushed furiously, California clapped her hands in evident happiness, and reached for the bottle on the pavement. She spun. It landed on Arizona. "Truth or dare!" California asked her fellow teammate.

"Truth," the redheaded, tanned girl responded.

"Is it true that you're into New Mexico?"

There was a dead silence. Everyone was listening intently. Arizona fidgeted uncomfortably, and stammered, "Well, I mean, that's not... this isn't a good question..."

"It's a yes or no question, Arizona," Washington reminded, clearly intrigued. She looked around, and sighed.

"Um... yes..."

Silence. And then, the party was interrupted by two interlopers riding in the back of a pickup truck.

"YEE-HAW!"

A rusty red truck skidded into the motel parking lot. Texas and Alabama were standing in the back of it, riding it like a bull. The driver, a Hispanic-looking man with wrinkly skin and a toothy smile, let the truck come to a halt in the middle of the parking lot. "Aw, damn, there's already people here!" Alabama yelled, hopping out. "Hey, uh, 'muchas gracias, salvador'," Texas called after the driver, who waved and drove off. "So what'd we miss?" Alabama asked the thirty-something people already arrived.

...

"Where's the rest of your team?" Chris asked after a length pause. Texas and Alabama exchanged glances, and shrugged. "Why's it matter? We made it."

"You were supposed to arrive _with your entire team_. Where'd they go?"

"I dunno!" Alabama admitted, scratching his neck. "Arkansas's with 'em. They're probably fine."

"'Probably fine?'" Chris asked, unbelieving. "_Probably fine?_ If they're out there _dead_ or something, _I don't have any contestants! _What do you think happens to the ratings when like seven people are _dead__?_ Huh? What happens then?"

The argument was interrupted by a huge chant of "WE'RE HERE!"

Seven figures were rushing towards the motel from the distance. Chris's worried frowned instantly turned into a bright smile. "Oh, good. Team Touchdown finally pulls through. I was worried for a second there."

Florida, leading the Arkansas and the five girls, walked up, gasping. "We made it... we actually made it... we're not the last ones, are we?"

"Unfortunately, you are!" Chris confirmed, smiling widely. "Team Democracy came in first, as they were the first ones to make it here! Team Victory second, Team Dakota third, and-"

"What about Team America?" Oregon suddenly asked, looking around.

There was a pause. And then Chris gave himself a facepalm. "Oh. I forgot about them. Where _are_ they?"

The thirty-two people all stood in absolute silence, listening into the night. The moon began to rise over the motel, creating an eerie glow over the entire scene.

...

"Well, they'll probably make it back fine, right?"

Shrugs were exchanged. Chris smiled, and yelled, "Well! That was a fun episode, I think! Kids, into the buses. Having Team America lost in the wilderness means we get to save on gas prices! I'll see _you_ guys this weekend."

**11:42 PM.**

Silence.

Nine teenagers all sat in a semi-circle around Chris, who was frowning his sternest, yet TV-appropriate frown at the kids.

"_Three_ search-and-rescue teams."

...

"_Fourteen_ phone calls."_  
_

...

"_Six_ hours of _my life_ that _I_ can't get back while I was forced to track you kids down."

...

...

...

"Do _none_ of you care?!" Chris yelled.

The members of Team America glanced at each other cautiously. Chris shook his head again at the kids, and mentioned, "Y'know, I could just kick _all_ of you off right now. We could say you guys never found your way out of the wilderness. I bet the producers would've bought that. But... we've already done the voting. One of you is going home tonight. Serves you guys right."

...

"These votes are all over the place, by the way. It's like you're not even specifically targeting anyone else. Illinois, North Carolina, and Virginia. Zero votes. You three were literally the _only_ ones to not get any votes."

...

"Don't we get snacks?" Virginia asked tentatively. "Quiet!" Chris yelled, clearly not in the mood. "Not after what you nine put me through trying to find you guys. Now, the rest of you..."

Ohio, Maryland, Indiana, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Kentucky all sat. Chris grinned evilly, and continued, "...the rest of you got at least one vote."

...

"Maryland. Just one vote."

No snacks were thrown to her, as she sighed slightly. It seemed like nobody was safe. Chris yelled in a bored expression, "Michigan and Ohio! You both got one vote. Wonder why."

The two exchanged glances, evidently suspicious of the other. Chris smiled at the result, and looked at the remaining contestants. Indiana, Wisconsin, and Kentucky. "Really, I'm surprised this person is going home," Chris mused, looking casually at his fingernails. "I mean, there's no rhyme or reason to it. It's just, hey, this person got the most votes. Doesn't make sense. But someone's got to take the blame."

...

"Kentucky. One vote. You're safe, man."

Kentucky pumped his fist, mumbling, "Yeah..." to nobody in particular. It was left to Indiana and Wisconsin now. Indiana had a bored expression on her face. Wisconsin was fearful, and glanced around the empty parking lot in which Chris had designated their team for the elimination ceremony.

"One of you got two votes, and the other got three votes!" Chris shouted, clearly trying to amp up the tension to the audience. "It was a difference of just _one__ vote_."

...

...

...

"The final snack - er, not snack, just a declaration of safety - goes to..."

...

"...Indiana."

The girl looked slightly surprised. Wisconsin frowned, and stood up. "Thanks for playing!" Chris yelled after him. "Hope you had fun. Or maybe not. I don't particularly care. Just don't get dirt on the bus when you leave."

Wisconsin gathered his things, and departed for the taxi without another word. Chris's eyebrows were high up on his forehead, as the teen got in the taxi with a slam of the door. "Well! Down to eight people, Team America!" Chris declared. "Hope you guys have better luck next time. Losing two challenges almost right next to each other... not a good sign."

Chris gave a friendly, albeit menacing wave to the members of Team America climbed back into their bus in silence. "See you guys this weekend! Hahahahaha!

**12:06 AM.**

Team Victory's bus. Past midnight. The five buses steadily made their way north-east through the Mojave Desert, heading for whatever challenge awaited in Wisconsin.

Most people had retired to the bunk rooms for sleep. Only Arizona and Hawaii remained in the living room. Arizona was attempting to draw, while Hawaii was just fixing himself up a late-night snack.

"What a nightmare..." Arizona mumbled to herself, erasing a smudge on the parchment. Hawaii glanced over, and asked, "What's that, now?"

"That stupid... party..."

"Oh. You mean how you... uh..."

Arizona nodded in reply, pencil hovering precariously in mid-air above the paper. "You don't think he actually likes me back, do you?" she asked, turning her head to look at Hawaii. He shrugged. "I dunno. I mean... he might've mentioned it once or twice. Y'know... the notion of wanting to go out with you..."

"But why won't he say it to me?" she asked, head in her hands. "I mean... he didn't _seem_ like a shy guy, but-"

New Mexico suddenly appeared in the doorway, looking incredibly apprehensive. Hawaii noticed what was going on, and stammered, "Yeah, uh, I'm just gonna go... back into the bunk rooms..."

Hawaii absconded towards the bedrooms, leaving Arizona alone with New Mexico.

There was a brief silence. And then, New Mexico spoke.

"Hey... Arizona."

"Um... hi."

New Mexico elected to sit across from Arizona at the kitchen table. He looked her earnestly in the eyes. He'd even taken off his customary shades.

"I was... y'know, thinkin' about... about our time together..."

New Mexico seemed to be having trouble getting the words, out, but plowed on nonetheless. "About, like... me and you. You've been a great friend to me. But... you and I both know that there's not much time on these shows. If Team Victory lost again... I couldn't imagine what it'd be like without having you to talk to. You've been amazing, and I can't help but wonder if we could be... um... something... more?"

Arizona seemed awed by New Mexico's speech. After a brief pause, she slowly stated, "New Mexico... I don't know what to say. I... I mean, I feel the same way... sure, we may have to deal with dehumanizing challenges every few days, but I do know that there's one thing to make our time on this show better..."

"What?"

"...this."

Arizona leaned in, and kissed New Mexico from across the table, a brief, yet passionate kiss that only served to solidify the bond between the newly formed couple. New Mexico leaned out of it, and smiled somewhat sheepishly.

"That was... amazing."

"Yup."

"So, does this mean we're actually together?"

"I think so."

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, and Wisconsin.

**aspiringAnimator** - Hooray :D I finally got those two together. Also, good news! With episode ten, we are officially twenty percent done! Holy crap! That means twenty percent of the contestants have already been voted off. Forty remain. What will happen next on this ever-exciting series? Find out this weekend!

ALSO. I'm starting back school up tomorrow, August 7th. Yay. This means updates MIGHT be delayed to Sunday, but that still counts as the weekend, so it's all cool.

The poll is still up at my profile! Because we've hit the forty contestants remaining mark, I've had to take down the maximum number of votes to four per person, just for balancing.

And lastly, I always need good challenge ideas. Got one? Send it in a review, or PM. Or carrier pigeon. That works, too. Thanks for reading! I've managed to stay on schedule for a FULL MONTH. Woo!


	12. I'm on a Boat

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 11: I'M ON A BOAT**

_"You were just about the coolest person I met on this show." - Florida_

**Sunday, August 10th, 2014. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 10:12 AM.**

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_42_mp3**

"I plan on actually doing some good for this team. Nobody else wants to stand up to North Dakota. Nobody, even though _everybody_ hates her! Even her own sister isn't that crazy about her. That _must_ be saying something."

Minnesota

**10:13 AM.**

Team Dakota's bus sped down the interstate approaching Milwaukee. Past the city, the huge Lake Michigan could be seen looming in the distance.

Inside the bus, North Dakota was sitting on the couch reading a magazine. Half the team was already awake, and all eating breakfast in silence at the small kitchen table, glancing around warily at the rest of their team.

The funny thing is, if enough people on Team Dakota opposed North Dakota, she could easily be voted off. The problem was... Team Dakota absolutely lacked any kind of resilience like that. Apart from Minnesota and Nebraska, to some degree. But that was it.

"Listen up!" North Dakota shouted to her teammates at dawn. The city of Milwaukee approached ahead. "It's challenge day!"

A few members of the team gulped. Typically, challenge days were the most stressful, and North Dakota's temper was no exception. She glared at her team. At her side, stood South Dakota, looking particularly nervous. "I'm not sure exactly _what_ we're doing today," North Dakota seethed, "but you'd all better _do your part_. I mean it."

A moment or two passed as she just glared at the team. "Right..." she muttered. "Chris! I know you can hear me. How long until arrival?"

Silence. North Dakota rolled her eyes. "Right. We're being filmed twenty-four seven and Chris suddenly can't hear us. Whatever. We'll get there when we get there. And you'd all better be on your best behavior."

**10:48 AM.**

"You think it's gonna be cold up here?" Louisiana nervously asked her teammates of Team Touchdown. A few people shrugged. "It's the middle of the summer!" South Carolina yelped from her spot on the couch. Mississippi, which Alabama had his arm around, nodded to that. "It ain't gonna be like Alaska!" she stated. "Wisconsin ain't cold. We'll be fine."

"Hey, hasn't school started up by now?" South Carolina suddenly asked, glancing around at her team. Alabama shrugged, and checked the date on his watch. "I dunno. It's August. I sure am glad I ain't gotta be in school, though."

"Amen!" Louisiana shouted, and plopped down on the couch. "No more dumb assignments. No more trick questions. Aw, I bet everyone from back home is watchin' me on TV..."

A few looked nervous at that suggestion. "Yeah..." Alabama muttered. "I guess so..."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_43_mp3**

"Alright... here's the thing. Mississippi ain't actually... my only... current... girlfriend. Alright? I said it. I got a girl back home in Mobile. I'm... not gonna say any names, and I know she's probably pissed at me right about now. But the thing is... my heart really's with Mississippi. She's beautiful, and real charmin', and knows her way 'round makin' a mean bowl of grits, know what I mean? Mississippi's incredible. But... don't tell her I was with another girl right before this."

Alabama

**10:57 AM.**

"I actually _miss_ school," Connecticut somberly stated as Team Democracy's bus approached its destination. Massachusetts nodded in agreement, as he grew closer to beating Maine in their chess match. "Yeah..." he mumbled. "It's kind of weird to think about how we'll have to miss a whole semester. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to make that up. I wonder what my friends think of me now."

There was a pause. "Did your friends know that you're gay?" Connecticut bluntly asked, looking up from the couch. Massachusetts scowled, and was about to say something, when Maine suddenly let out, "He's bisexual. Not gay. There's a difference, Connecticut."

Massachusetts appeared surprised. "Thanks, Maine. And yes. You guys weren't the primary ones to repeatedly state my alleged attraction towards dudes."

"Speak English," Connecticut said, grinning. "Not everyone's a literal walking thesaurus like you."

Massachusetts rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Check, Maine."

Maine looked back down at the chessboard, smiling. She inspected the move. Massachusetts had cornered her king with a well-placed knight. With one move, she ousted Massachusett's knight with her queen. "Check-mate," she responded, leaning back and smiling widely.

"What?" Massachusetts yelped, looking down at the board. "No. I just had you in check. And look, if I move my bishop over and take out your queen, I'm out of check."

"Nope. My rook will still have a clear path towards your king."

There was a pause. "Argh..." Massachusetts muttered, and began moving his pieces off the board. "You win, Maine. I'm no good at chess, anyways."

"ETA in five minutes!" a familiar voice cried over the bus's radio. "Get your bathing suits ready, teams! This is Chris signing out!"

**11:11 AM.**

"Welcome to Lake Michigan!" Chris greeted the contestants, who had since changed into their bathing suits and were squinting in the sun. "There's just forty of you now! Hope you've had a fun month, kids."

"Why are we at the docks?" Indiana asked, looking around. Indeed, they all stood at one of the piers for a long line of sailboats. Ahead, the vast expanse of Lake Michigan extended to the horizon. "Because," Chris responded, as though he was expecting that question, "we're having a _boat race!_"

Groans went up in the air. Chris grinned widely at that. "How many of you know how to operate a sailboat?"

About nine people raised their hands. Most of them were from Team Touchdown and Team Democracy. "Great!" Chris yelled, clapping his hands together. "Here's the deal."

"Each team gets their own boat. Take your boat to the starting line. This is a race! First team to cross the finish line, which is about ten miles north of here, wins. The last team that does so loses. Is that clear with everybody?"

Nods were exchanged rather reluctantly. Chris's expression grew grim. "By the way... the producers called. They said if the ratings don't improve, they're cutting the budget for the show."

Jaws dropped. "But the ratings are spectacular!" Oregon exclaimed. Chris shrugged at that. "Compared to most shows, they're pretty good. But not compared to other seasons of Total Drama. 'We want Chef! We want Chef!' the fans exclaim. 'We want the old contestants! Alejandro! Heather! Noah!'. Personally, I'm absolutely sick of those kids. The old contestants are adults now. It's time to look to the future!"

Chris looked around at the forty contestants expectantly. He then blurted out, "The future is you! The forty of you are the future of this show. But nobody will believe me when I say that because you kids have _yet to prove yourselves_. Do me a favor and start some drama. Alright?"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_44_mp3**

"Ugh. I don't know what's wrong with the fans. Seriously, here I am doing all these confessionals and revealing my plans for everybody to watch. What more do you people want? But if Chris wants drama...? He'll get drama."

North Dakota

**11:16 AM.**

Five boats bobbed in the water by the docks. Carefully, they began to be loaded with the members of their respective teams. Nobody wore life jackets upon Chris's orders, because they "ruined the mood".

"Any of us know how to sail?" Washington asked his six teammates. Indeed, Team Victory seemed to be losing contestants rather quickly. Hawaii shrugged. "I've only driven motor boats before."

"Nobody else?" Washington asked desperately. "Alright... fine, Hawaii, you can drive."

"Oooh!" California exclaimed, jumping excitedly into the boat. "This is a sailboat!"

"Yes, it is," New Mexico stated slowly. Arizona was at his side. "Fantastic observation, California."

California smiled widely, oblivious to New Mexico's sarcasm. "I love these things! I used to drive these all the time with my daddy."

A brief pause. And then...

"Why didn't you say so?"

California blinked at Washington, who faced her. "Huh?"

"You know how to operate a sailboat?"

"Yes!" California squealed. "They're fun!"

Hawaii groaned. "Can't I just drive this time?" he asked. "It's not like we'll even need the sails to go forward."

Washington looked skeptical, as Oregon inspected the stern. "There's no motor on this thing..." he yelled to his teammates. Washington nodded. "Okay. Sorry Hawaii... but California's the only one who can operate the sails, or knows how to, for that matter. I guess you can steer, Hawaii."

He seemed satisfied, as California hopped up and down in glee, wearing only a bikini.

**11:19 AM.**

"Sailin's easy!" Alabama yelled. "It's like drivin' a car, 'cept you gotta watch which way the wind's goin'."

"Question!" Georgia yelled. "What's your question?" Alabama replied.

"We're not gonna sink, are we?"

A few chuckles were exchanged in Team Touchdown, but a few other people looked similarly concerned. Alabama realized the question was serious, and responded, "No, we ain't gonna sink. Trust me. I know my way 'round the water. We'll be fine."

"Doubt it..." Florida muttered. Oddly enough, Arkansas nodded in agreement rather secretively.

"What was that, Florida?"

...

"I said I doubt it. Do you even have your driver's license yet? And for that matter, your boater's license? These things aren't toys, or race cars, no matter what you think."

...

"Heheheh... Florida? I don't think you really know what you're talkin' 'bout. Why don't you go sit down with the other girls?"

...

"Um... I think she's right."

Alabama whipped around. Arkansas spoke. Texas crossed his arms, sizing Arkansas up.

...

"Huh. Is that what you think, Arkansas?" Alabama asked. Arkansas nodded nervously in reply, and elaborated, "Well... for one thing, knowing Chris... maybe there'll be a few traps in the water along the way. And... I don't think we don't know how old these boats are. Maybe there's something wrong with them. Maybe it could, um... run out of fuel on the way there, assuming this thing even uses fuel."

...

"That's an awful lot of maybes, Arkansas. Why don't you sit down, and let us worry 'bout it. You're in safe hands... little guy."

Arkansas reluctantly sat next to Florida under the stern gaze of Texas and Alabama. With a quick nod of the head, Texas unhooked the boat from the dock, as Alabama got set on working the sails.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_45_mp3**

"Ugh. What assholes. I think that's really all there is to say on the matter."

Florida

**11:29 AM.**

"Is everybody ready?" Chris yelled, sitting in a private, small motor boat beside the starting line for the race. Five sailboats were lined up and anchored. A steady breeze blew from the south, perfect conditions for a speedy race north.

"On your marks!"

...

"Get set..."

...

"GO-"

CRACK. Chris's magnum, which continued to only fire blanks, blasted off. Quickly, anchors were lifted up out of the water, and the boats were off rather speedily.

"Careful with the sails!" Virginia cried to her team, as Michigan fumbled around with the poles, and Maryland guiding the rudder. "We go as fast as possible! Head _north_, along the coast!"

**11:40 AM.**

Ten minutes in. Slowly, Team Touchdown's boat had taken the lead, followed by Team Victory and then Team Democracy.

Oregon leaned over the railing, looking down at the water as it skidded by. "Ahhh..." he gasped, looking at the lake around the boat. "It's so pretty out here. I love the water."

California smiled brightly, turning the sail to accommodate the wind. "I know, right? It's like... _so_ good for your pores. Like, you would not even know."

"We're doin' real well, guys!" New Mexico shouted, sitting with Arizona at the back of the boat. "We keep this up, and we'll stay out of voting for sure!"

Washington nodded, and adjusted his glasses against the breeze. "I sure hope so. It's nice to be in the lead for once."

**11:44 AM.**

"Argh! We're losing them!" New York shouted, as Team Dakota's boat overtook their own. "This sucks. We need to catch up!"

"It's not so easy to use these sails, y'know!" Delaware shouted to her team. Massachusetts and New Jersey both assisted her with the ropes. "I agree!" New Jersey yelled rather unnecessarily. "It is not!"

"C'mon..." New York muttered to himself, gripping the steering wheel tightly. "Can't this damn thing go any faster?"

New Hampshire glanced up warily at the sky above. "Uh... guys?" she asked, looking at the thickening gray clouds. "Does it seem stormy to anybody else?"

**12:06 PM.**

Thirty minutes in. The teams' progress was becoming impeded by strong winds blowing east. And rain. Lots of rain.

"Augh!" Ohio shouted, absolutely drenched in the torrents of water now pouring over the teams. "I can't see! Where are we going?"

Virginia yelled something in response, but her cry was drowned out by the incredible rain. "_Fuck!_" Ohio screamed. "This is _stupid!_"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_46_mp3**

"Okay. I don't like boats at all. Or rain. Boats are stupid. Rain is stupid. This show is stupid. Most of my teammates are stupid. But is all that worth a million bucks? Yes. Yes it is."

Ohio

**12:33 PM.**

Over an hour in. Chris McLean sat in his quietly bobbing boat near the finish line, wearing a rain poncho and some stylish shades. The brief storm had since passed, but the teams were nowhere to be seen. He squinted in the distance, and asked the nearest intern, "Yo, d'you think we should've checked the weather forecast?"

The intern appeared terrified, as per the usual reaction. Chris rolled his eyes, and lifted a pair of binoculars to his eyes. "Wait..." he muttered, looking into the distance. "I see them! What's wrong with their sails?"

**12:49 PM.**

"Don't tell me we can't sew this back together!" Texas cried, holding up bundles of cloth. The storm had finally subsided, but the fierce winds had ripped a number of holes in the sails of all the boats, particularly Team Touchdown's. "I don't know!" Alabama shouted. "There should be oars in some of the cabinets there. We can still avoid comin' in last if we use 'em. Now come _on_, y'all! We can do this!"

Mississippi was wailing, completely soaked in lake water. Georgia had her hands in her hair, sobbing, while sputtering over and over again, "We're gonna lose, y'all. It's over."

"It's _not_ over!" Texas yelled, as Team Victory's boat slid past theirs. "We can do this! Just... find the oars, we can do this, we won't lose-"

Just like that, Team Democracy's boat sped by. "No!" Alabama shouted. Team Dakota's boat was approaching rather speedily. "No. We can't lose this challenge. We _can't_."

**12:56 PM.**

...

...

...

"Team Touchdown has lost this challenge!"

A grinning Chris greeted the forty contestants as they wearily climbed out of their boats. Tired teens approached Chris cautiously. Chris just smiled at them, and declared, "Team Victory got in first place! Moments later, Team Democracy's came next, then Team Dakota's, Team America's, and lastly Team Touchdown! Nice sail, by the way."

The nine members of Team Touchdown all looked down sadly at their now tattered sail. Chris's grin widened at the looks on their faces. "Hope you guys have a fun voting ceremony!" he reminded them. "I've been looking forward to getting out of this state, anyway. Too close to the border. Too many... uh, unpleasant memories up there. Anyway! I'll see you guys soon. Back to the buses!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_47_mp3**

"I don't know where we went wrong. Like, within a split second our sail is just blown to hell. That could'a happened to anybody. Damn. I hate this. This ain't my fault."

Texas

**7:00 PM.**

A full moon rose slowly over the skyline of Milwaukee. It glowed a faint orange, hinting at the autumn that would come within the following months. The nine contestants of Team Touchdown all sat in a semi-circle around Chris, who grinned evilly, holding eight bags of chips. "What happened, you guys?" he yelled teasingly. "You guys had the most people who knew a thing about how boats worked! What's your deal?"

A brief pause. Alabama looked guilty. Chris sighed resignedly, and muttered lowly, "Remember what I said about trying not to be boring, kids. You guys do a terrific job when on your own, and talking among yourselves, but around me, for whatever reason, everyone on this show goes silent. Whatever. When I call your name, you get a snack, and you're safe. If you're left without a snack, it means everyone hates you."

Silence. Chris smiled, and held a bag of Doritos tauntingly. "First bag goes to... Georgia!"

Georgia caught the bag, and glanced around at her team. Jealous glares were thrown her way.

"Second bag is for Louisiana!"

Another bag was thrown. Chris smiled malevolently. "Mississippi gets the third bag."

Doritos were thrown Mississippi-wards. She smiled sheepishly.

"Fourth and fifth snacks go to South Carolina and Tennessee!"

They caught them. Chris surveyed the remaining contestants: Texas, Arkansas, Florida, and Alabama. "Interesting!" Chris shouted into the night. "Every single person that got zero votes was a girl. You four got at least one vote."

...

"Texas. One vote, brother."

A bag of Cheetos was thrown into his hands. He appeared grateful, to say the least. Chris smiled, looking at the remaining three. "Penultimate snack!" he announced unnecessarily. "It goes... to..."

...

...

...

"Alabama. Just one vote."

Alabama caught his snack, and stared at Arkansas and Florida. Arkansas was shocked, and glanced over at Florida. Florida didn't look surprised at all. Chris yelled, "The two of you got quite a few votes! Three votes for one of you, and four votes for the other. It was very close."

...

"So close!" Chris droned on, "I've never seen anything like it. Your team is really special-"

"For the love of God, please get on with it," Florida blurted out. "Go on. Say Arkansas. We all know I'm going home, anyway." Chris narrowed his eyes at her. "Listen, kid," he seethed, but caught himself, stopping in the middle of a sentence. "Er... whatever. You're getting just what you deserve tonight, Florida, because the final snack goes to..."

...

...

...

"Arkansas!"

Arkansas exhaled, as the bag of Funyuns landed on the pavement beside him. Florida grabbed her luggage, which she'd already packed. "Later, guys!" she yelled. "And bye, Arkansas. You were just about the coolest person I met on this show. I'll be rooting for you back home. Good luck."

Arkansas gave a sad wave to Florida, who receded into the distance. "Bye!" he shouted after her. "And... the same goes for you."

Chris surveyed the scene satisfactorily, and proceeded to declare, "This is only the beginning, Team Touchdown! There are many, many more voting ceremonies for your team. Mark my words. There are many to come."

There was a brief and awkward pause as Chris let that sink in for the tension. "Right!" he said, clapping his hands together cheerily. "See you all again in a few days! We got here late this Sunday, so... it looks like we might not make it to, uh, Florida on exactly Wednesday. We'll get there. Don't worry."

The members of Team Touchdown made their way back onto the hell-bus to take them to yet another challenge. Indeed... this was just the beginning.

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, and Florida.

**aspiringAnimator** - Everything you see above was written in the last four hours from my perspective. Wow. Talk about procrastination. I'm terribly sorry, by the way. I just managed to make the weekend update, and the weekend update is supposed to be the one that allows some leniency on my part, hence the vague "weekend" tag. Anyways. Sorry if this one seems short, or rushed, it's just that it was written very quickly after I decided that I don't particularly want to drop this fanfic. Not only that, but school started last week for me, and between the purgatory of schedule mishaps and the confusion of seeing people I do not know, I didn't find as much time for writing as I should have.

Anyways. Thanks for reading, by the way! Update _should_ be this Wednesday, but as Chris himself stated right above, I might not make it just because I've only got the next three days to write another five thousand words.

The poll is still up at my profile. Six votes! Niiice. Make sure to vote if you haven't. Don't you want to be a cool kid like _us?_ Of course you do. Don't be stupid.

Also, um... make sure to review. I do enjoy reading all of them, even if it's ranging from a polite compliment to some well thought-out constructive criticism.

That's all from me. Sorry for the long author's note, and congratulations if you actually read all that ;D


	13. All of the Plots

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 12: ALL OF THE PLOTS**

_"So... I guess we're fugitives now, huh?" - Oregon_

**Wednesday, August 13th, 2014. The Everglades, Florida. 9:20 AM.**

Week five of The Fifty State Roadtrip.

Chris dominated the celebrity scene. When he wasn't busy actually hosting the show, he was conducting interviews and attending high-class parties. People regarded him as a successful young adult who would be rising higher and higher up the social ladder. For now, life was good.

However, to thirty-nine cautious contestants currently driving south down the Florida Panhandle, Chris was a humorously sadistic authority figure bent on making their life on the road hell.

The atmosphere in Team America's bus was tense. After the eight of them had nearly lost the previous challenge up in Wisconsin, nobody was particularly jumping at the chance to declare leadership and take the blame for that blunder.

Ohio and Michigan merely glared at each other from across the room. Illinois was trying unsuccessfully to hit on Indiana, who satisfied herself with doodling on her sketchpad. Kentucky was playing with half-eaten Poptarts, acting as if they were pistols.

"Would you _leave me alone?_" Indiana snapped at Illinois. "Go bother someone else. While I'd _love_ to _hang out_ with you all day, Illinois, _somehow... _advancing my own artistic abilities seems a _tad_ bit more important to me."

Illinois's eyebrows soared. "Geez, _sorry_," he muttered, smirking at her slight dismay. "Your loss."

He exited the room, presumably to complain to anyone who would listen in the bunk rooms.

**9:33 AM.**

...

"South. Look at this."

South Dakota turned to see her sister examining a small mobile phone. The bus roared farther and farther south. "You're still holding onto that thing?" South Dakota tentatively asked. North Dakota waved down South Dakota's concerns. "Doesn't matter. Look at... _this confessional_."

She tapped play on the Youtube video.. It appeared to be a shoddy mobile phone recording of the previous week's episode. It depicted Minnesota sitting alone in a confessional booth, the tiny bathroom on each bus.

"_-plotting to overthrow North Dakota. I was the one who voted for North Dakota. There, I said it. She's insane. She acts like she's a dictator. With her kind of attitude and reckless behavior, everyone on this team will end up being kicked off before we even merge, including me. This isn't just me trying to take power-_"

North Dakota pressed pause, and looked grim. "We've got a perpetrator in our midst."

Her sister stared at the phone, which had cut off Minnesota in mid-sentence. "Minnesota?" South Dakota asked incredulously. "Not her. There's no way. I... just to hear her talk about you like that..."

"I know," North Dakota stated, smirking. "She mentioned Nebraska, too, but that kid doesn't have the muscle to oppose me. We let him squirm. It's Minnesota I'm worried about. I'm just hoping she hasn't started spreading lies among the team..."

There was a brief pause, as North Dakota and South Dakota stood in the middle of the bedroom.

"So... what do we do?" South Dakota nervously asked. North Dakota shrugged, and replied, "I'll think of a way to... get rid of Minnesota."

South Dakota looked disheartened, and refused to look at North Dakota. "I don't see why we have to..." she mumbled uncertainly. "I mean, couldn't we... I don't know... _convince_ Minnesota that you're not so bad?"

"No!" North Dakota blurted out. "She's off the deep end already. In a situation like this, where you have... _rebels_... you exterminate them immediately. Destroy any qualms of rebellion where they begin. Don't you know _anything_ about having a successful team? You're supposed to make all of the plots. All of them. Jeez, you're a real idiot sometimes."

South Dakota shrunk slightly at that, and quietly whispered, "Yeah... I guess."

**9:51 AM.**

"It's challenge day!" New York yelled as he entered the main room of the charter bus. New Jersey clapped in what he thought was an ironic gesture as New York entered. "No matter what the challenge is, we do our best. Understood?" New York asked everyone. Massachusetts gave a thumbs up, but wasn't really paying any attention, instead choosing to read a book. Connecticut was trying his best to make some visually impressive sketches, but kept coming up with blurred depictions of stick figures.

New York appeared somewhat unimpressed with everyone's nonchalant attitude towards arguably the most important days of the week. With a resigned sigh, he flopped down on the couch, and picked up a magazine.

There was a long, long way to go until the merge. Assuming it even happened. And that he'd still be around if it did.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_48_mp3**

"Ok, don't get me wrong here. I love my team. They're all really nice people, if a little unprepared for what we as a team have to go through during these challenges. But... sitting around all day isn't the way to do things. New Jersey won't stop hitting on everybody. Connecticut doesn't even try when it matters most, like when we had to construct a car... look, don't even force me to remember that challenge. The only people I actually like on this team are Massachusetts, Delaware, and Pennsylvania. They actually help. Usually. Don't tell anyone else I said that, though. Unity makes teams strong."

New York

**10:03 AM.**

Chris shone his deadly early morning smile at the thirty-nine contestants as they sleepily hopped out of the five buses. "Can anyone take a guess at where we are?" Chris shouted. "Take a look around."

The buses had parked on the side of the highway. On both sides of the road, marsh extended into the distance. A little ways away, tall trees shrouded a rather large swamp. Cattails lined the water's edge. This was the Everglades, a huge swampy area on the southern tip of Florida.

"Disney World!" Kentucky responded with a yell. A few people cheered, and began to clap in approval. "No!" Chris shouted, clearly annoyed. "No, we are _not_ in Disney World. Although that was the plan originally. No, today, kids, we are in the very heart of Everglades National Park!"

"Aw..." a few people simultaneously voiced. Chris smirked, and elaborated, "Each team will be in charge of getting their raft to the finish line. It's like the boat race! Except more dangerous. And with rafts my interns built in ten minutes. And featuring crocodiles."

"Uh..." Washington cut in, "but crocodiles aren't actually in Florida. I think you're thinking of alligato-"

"Shut up!" Chris commanded, smiling widely. "There are a few oars for each team. That'll be your only method of propulsion, unless some of you want to get in the water and push. You guys brought bathing suits, right?"

A few people glanced at each other. This didn't look like an especially fun challenge. Chris crossed his arms, and pointed sporadically towards the buses. "Well, go put them on!" he shouted. "I'll be waiting here with your rafts. Get a move on. We don't have all day."

**10:11 AM.**

"So... what do you think about this challenge?" Oregon slowly asked Washington as they stood alone in their bunk room undressing. Washington shrugged, and discarded his cargo pants into a small laundry bin. "I'm not sure. It looks like a repeat of the last challenge... except probably harder, considering that it'll be in a swamp this time, with who knows what kinds of dangers await."

"Oh," Oregon mumbled, as Washington took off his boxers without so much as a word. Flustered, he averted his glance away as he donned his own bathing suit, Oregon nervously stating, "Well, I think this challenge will be a lot more danger-based. With traps. We didn't have those last challenge."

There was a brief silence. Washington pulled on his own swimsuit, oblivious to Oregon's discomfort. "Maybe," he mused thoughtfully. "C'mon. I wouldn't want Chris to have an aneurysm or something if we get back six seconds later than we were supposed to."

**10:24 AM.**

The two arrived just in time to hear Chris elaborating to the contestants about the day's challenge. "You will need to watch out for crocodiles!" Chris shouted, smiling widely at the thought. "You must outrun _piranhas!_ Possibly an explosive or two! Who knows."

During Chris's speech, North Dakota was sneaking dark glances over at Minnesota every few seconds, who became increasingly nervous as the stares went on. It was clear: North Dakota was quite enjoying Minnesota in her terrified, unknowing stupor.

"What are you doing?" South Dakota asked her sister as Chris droned on and on. North Dakota held up a hand to stop South Dakota, and merely whispered, "Oh, you know. Just making the rest of Minnesota's limited time on this show as miserably confusing and stressful as possible."

"Oh... yeah, of course," South Dakota muttered, uncertain. "And so," Chris concluded with a flourish, happily oblivious to whatever was happening between the contestants, "that's why it's _probably_ best that you stay _out_ of the water. First team to make it to the end wins! Last team loses. Are you kids ready to get _rowing__?_"

Nobody said anything. Evidently, the prospect of spending the next few hours rowing rickety rafts through a treacherous swamp didn't seem particularly inviting to most people. Chris crossed his arms, and then said, "And if you _don't_ compete, you're disqualified from the show."

Instantaneously, every single contestant began making their way to the tiny rafts at the water's edge as quickly as possible. "Mind the poles, y'all!" Texas yelled, standing on his team's small craft. "Keep it steady! Where's them oars at?"

"Right here!" South Carolina chimed, and tossed one to Texas. "On your marks!" Chris yelled, carrying his magnum once again. "Get set!"

"GO-"

CRACK. The rafts were off. "Just go that way!" Chris yelled, grinning at everyone's messy start. A few people were in the water. Life jackets were not given out. "The finish line is just two miles away. Have fun!"

"Augh..." Michigan moaned, trudging through the thick water as the rest of his team began to board the raft. "This mud is disgusting. It's so thick."

Virginia glanced down nervously at the water below the craft. "Uhhh... hey, y'all, don't get in the water. There's some nasty stuff in there..."

With a grunt, Michigan plopped himself up and into his team's raft to join them. They pushed off, and were immediately in the lead, propelled by some rather erratic rowing. Within a few seconds, the other rafts slowly got under way, drifting deeper into the swamp lands.

"I don't like this..." Tennessee worriedly mumbled, looking into the murky water. Louisiana, who was holding onto a pole in the center of Team Touchdown's raft, shrugged as she said, "It ain't that bad! It's just goin' through the swamp. The gators ain't gonna bite you."

"Gators?" South Carolina yelped, looking into the water. "As in... alligators? Ohhh, no, wasn't Chris kidding?"

Alabama just rolled his eyes at the fretful girls, and rowed deeper into the swamp. Tall tree canopies began to blot out any light coming in from above. Beside them, in Team Dakota's raft, North Dakota was screaming at her rowers to paddle faster. "Best we stay in second," Alabama whispered to his girlfriend, Mississippi. "If there's traps up ahead, that means Team Dakota'll get in 'em first, heheheh." He then winked at her, and resumed rowing.

"There's something in the water!" Massachusetts shouted, jumping up and almost toppling Team Democracy's raft. Everyone turned their heads at him, and then down at the water just in time to catch a long reptilian tail slide past them.

"OH MY GOD!" Virginia screamed, jumping up. Others began screaming. Oars were abandoned, as the teams began to bunch up in the center of their rafts around the pole.

At that moment, North Dakota realized that everyone was too preoccupied with even paying any attention to the race anymore. "PADDLE!" she commanded her team, and instantly her six brave underlings began rowing as fast as possible. "We've got this in the bag!" North Dakota shouted.

Connecticut took his gaze away from the moving shapes in the swamp for just a second to glance up at Team Dakota rapidly paddling through the swamp. He blinked, and then an underwater trigger was activated-

BOOM. Team Dakota vanished in a ball of smoke and fire.

People started screaming, and began to jump off the rafts. Team Dakota's own raft was utterly destroyed. Bits of wood from the craft floated in the murky water. North Dakota, with her entire team, was screaming, waving around in the water. Pandemonium ensued.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_49_mp3**

"The bright side was that nobody died! Annnd... that's probably the only good thing about what happened."

Oregon

**10:40 AM.**

Thirty-nine teens sat shivering on the bank of a river. Chris was yelling into a cell phone. A few kids were crying. Those who had become submerged in the water were wearing shock blankets. An ambulance with a team of paramedics sat on standby.

"NO!" Chris shouted, one finger in his other ear to blot out the noise. "The explosives were _perfectly safe!_ Nobody was injured! That's what you don't get!"

There was a brief pause. Chris rolled his eyes, and stammered desperately, "It's _my show__!_ I can do whatever the hell I want on it. I don't wanna hear more of this _bullshit_ about replacing me."

...

"THEY WERE BARELY CROCODILES. The kids were _perfectly safe_. I don't - okay, fine, alligators, whatever makes you happy - listen to me - it was a set-"

A few people glanced up at Chris, who was now positively screaming into his phone. "YOU CAN'T REPLACE ME. I'm the BEST Canadian host. Forbes said so. Alright, you know what? _You're fired_."

...

"What do you _mean_ I can't fire you? Who said that?"

...

"Yeah, well, _he's_ fired."

...

"YOU CAN'T REPLACE ME - argh - shut _up!_"

Chris slammed the phone off, and threw it on the ground. It shattered into several pieces. He cursed, and kicked a tire on the ambulance. The paramedics rolled their eyes, and got back in the ambulance. Chris then stood for a few moments, thinking, when New Jersey approached cautiously.

"Uhhh... yo, Chris... is the show canceled?"

"No!" Chris screamed. "No it is _not_ canceled! Who said that? Not me! Not canceled. No way."

...

"But... yo, Chris, what was that phone call about, then-"

"Go _stand in a corner, New Jersey!_ What did I tell you?"

"...Chris, man, we've been over this, we're outside right now-"

"Shut up! I'm trying to concentrate."

Chris snapped his fingers, and looked up with a wicked smile. A few of the contestants winced. "If the network wants to get _rid_ of me..." Chris slowly began, smiling evilly, "then that's fine. But... heh... they'll have to catch me first."

There was a brief pause. A few of the teens looked confused. Chris clapped his hands, and took on his bright host personality again. "Alright, kids! Into the buses!"

"Uh... Chris?" Washington asked slowly, as the teams began filing into their respective buses. "The show isn't canceled, is it?"

"No!" Chris waved him down. "No, _you_ kids are fine. The network _loooves _you guys. So much that they're willing to get rid of an internationally known host over something as silly as a few tame crocodiles and a mild explosive or two. The show must go on. It's nothing without me. I am the _trademark of Total Drama!_"

"But this season doesn't have Total Drama in its name," Washington pointed out as the buses began to crank up. "It's called something else, isn't it?"

"Doesn't matter!" Chris shouted. "It's _my show!_ Now get in your bus before I decide you were the one _eliminated_ tonight, Washington."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_50_mp3**

"Huh. So it looks like we're on the run now. Just forty kids, an entire country, and a diabolical host bent on making this show go on no matter what. I like it. It's like we're hostages or something! This is waaay more fun."

New York

**5:10 PM.**

"And by the way!" Chris's voice crackled over the radio of Team Dakota's bus as it drove to the nearest gas station. "Team Dakota, because you fell into my C4 - er, I mean... small firecracker trap, you guys lost! Figure out who you're voting for! This is Chris: out! And step on it, interns! We're on a tighter schedule!"

North Dakota groaned, and faced her anxious team. "Alright, guys, we've got a problem," she informed them. "Chris has gone crazy. He got fired or something and now he's gone off the deep end."

There was a pause. Oklahoma raised her hand. "Yes, Oklahoma?" North Dakota asked exasperatedly.

"Who are we voting off?"

"AHEM."

"Oh... who are we voting off, g-Glorious Leader...?"

"Vote for whoever you want. Except for South and I, obviously."

This came as a surprise to everyone. Usually, North Dakota ordered everybody to vote for a specific person, and that person was just supposed to give up and go home. This time, however, North Dakota was just giving everyone the option to pick whoever they voted for.

"Are you _sure _about this?" South Dakota whispered fervently to North Dakota as everyone retreated to their bunk rooms until nightfall. "I mean, believe me, I _love_ the free will and the voting and stuff, but... it's so _unlike_ you."

North Dakota grinned slyly, and withdrew Minnesota's phone from her pocket. "Not quite," she began. "Look. We put this in Minnesota's pocket with an audible alarm to go off right after the voting, which Chris usually has around seven PM. It doesn't matter who really gets voted off, because Minnesota will be disqualified for smuggling electronics after they were taken again. It's a foolproof plan."

"Wow..." South Dakota whispered, staring at the phone. "You... sure do play dirty..."

North Dakota shrugged, and snuck the phone back into her pocket. "Who cares?" she asked.

**5:12 PM.**

"I'm telling you guys!" Nebraska quietly informed his teammates Kansas, Colorado, and Utah in the silence of their bunk room. "Minnesota has a plan. If we all band together, we can take out North Dakota and take _back_ this team! Aren't you guys _tired_ of being pushed around all the time?"

Colorado was nodding, arms crossed but looking approving, but Kansas and Utah appeared terrified. "She'll _kill us__!_" Kansas whispered, glancing around the small compartment. "Maybe not literally, but this plan will never work! Not enough people will vote for her! If she finds out about your plan..."

"She won't," Nebraska lied, faking his confidence. "She won't even know that you voted for her. It's an anonymous voting system. Trust us. By tomorrow morning, North Dakota will be _gone_."

Utah and Kansas still appeared scared out of their minds at the prospect of rebelling against North Dakota's authority. But there was no time to argue. The voting ceremony was drawing uncomfortably nearer as the sun slunk past the horizon.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_51_mp3**

"This is my chance to make history on Total Drama! North Dakota is an antagonist. The fans will _love_ me for taking her out! This is my chance to make it big. With North Dakota gone, I think our team could _really_ get far in this show."

Nebraska

**6:55 PM.**

"Chop-chop, kids!" Chris yelled, in a slightly shorter temper than usual. A near-full moon shone high overhead as Team Dakota filed out of their bus and into a parking lot in Homestead. "We don't have much time. When I call your name, blah-blah-blah. No snacks today. I'm... a little paranoid about entering stores at the moment. Colorado, Kansas, Oklahoma, South Dakota, Utah, yadda-yadda-yadda. You're all safe today. No votes."

The absence of snacks was slightly disturbing, and a little disappointing. Chris smiled malevolently at the remaining three contestants: Minnesota, North Dakota, and Nebraska. "Quite an interesting mix here!" Chris yelled, after checking his watch nervously and then scanning the sky for nonexistent black helicopters. "North Dakota, you've managed to garner at least one vote every single voting ceremony. And Minnesota, if the confessionals are indeed accurate... you're leading something of a resistance."

North Dakota glared at Minnesota, who sat haughtily and proud. "And lastly, there's just Nebraska," Chris continued, "and I'm not really sure why he's here right now. But he gets a snack - er, no snack today - and just one vote from his comrades."

Nebraska sighed, and closed his eyes. Chris's smile grew. It was just between the two young ladies Minnesota and North Dakota now. "I'm actually kind of relieved this person's going home!" Chris continued. "If she'd stayed on the team until the end of the game, I get the feeling that someone might have literally died due to her schemes."

"The person who's staying on this show is..."

...

...

...

...

...

"Minne-"

An alarm suddenly went off.

"-_in commotion! The elements in harmony! She blinded me with science, and hit me with technology!_"

Chris froze. His eyes narrowed. "...that had better not be a cellphone I'm hearing right now."

Minnesota was pink in the face, eyes wide and full of terror. There was a small bulge in her side pocket that had gone unnoticed by her until this very moment. Chris groaned, and performed the ultra-coveted 2X FACEPALM COMBO.

"Minnesota? Why exactly do you have a phone in your pocket?"

North Dakota smirked, and crossed her arms, intrigued. "Yeah, Minnesota!" she said with exaggerated shock. "Don't you _know_ you're not supposed to have phones on this show?"

"I - what - how did this even get here - this isn't mine!"

Chris took the phone out of Minnesota's hand. On the small screen, a timer blinked 0:00, with the caption "L8R, LOSER." He showed Minnesota the phone. "This isn't your phone?"

"Well - I mean, it is - but I gave it back, I swear - wait-"

"Sorry, Minnesota!" Chris said, glancing at his watch once again. "You are _disqualified!_ Head to the cab of losers right over there-"

"THAT BITCH!"

"Me?" North Dakota gasped, pointing to herself. Minnesota stomped up to North Dakota, first curled into a ball, ready to strike-

"Girls! Break it up!" Chris shouted, putting himself between the two. "Get a _hold_ of yourselves!"

Minnesota screamed, "It was _North Dakota all along!_ She - she hid my phone after they were supposed to be taken by you-"

"Likely story!" Chris decided, and lifted Minnesota, who was kicking at North Dakota. "Into the taxi you go!"

"SHE CHEATED!" Minnesota screamed, throwing away all haughty dignity she possessed moments ago. "Everyone! Remember what I said! She will _take you down without hesitation! _I-"_  
_

Minnesota was thrown into the taxi. A car door slammed, and a lock placed on the door by the driver. Chris gave a friendly wave as the car drove off. "Bye!" he yelled. "Have a fun ride back home! Alright, kids, we gotta be in Minnesota by this weekend. Who wants to play 'evade my network producers and become heroes'? I do!"

Team Dakota kept staring, even after the spectacle ended. North Dakota whistled, and clapped her hands. "Into the buses, everyone!" she yelled. "We have some... _things_ to discuss with a few of you."

**9:51 PM.**

Team Victory's bus steadily made its way towards the Floridan state line. It was pretty late in the evening. New Mexico and Arizona, who were now sharing bunk rooms together, had allegedly retired early to go to bed. Only Washington and Oregon remained. Washington was busy reading, while Oregon just sat on the couch eating a bowl of oatmeal.

There was an awkward silence for a while, until Oregon broke the silence and spoke.

"So... I guess we're fugitives now, huh?"

"Looks like it. I can honestly say I didn't expect all that to happen. Like, with Chris getting fired and all."

"Yeah..."

Oregon looked down at his brightly colored sneakers. Sitting beside him on the couch, Washington appeared to be pondering something. After a moment of silence, he remarked, "I'm not entirely sure how Chris expected that challenge to work. Those were literal, live alligators in the water. I'm surprised nobody drowned. And the explosive, what was up with that? I bet he hid more in that - oh, my God, are you crying?"

Oregon was sniffling, tears running down his face. Washington looked flustered, and put down his book. "Uh... Oregon, what's wrong? Did I say something?"

"No, it's nothing, I'm not - I'm not crying, Washington, it's just... God... that was... traumatic. I thought people had _died_."_  
_

Washington appeared to be at a loss for words to say. "Well... yeah, it was scary, alright. Are... you okay? Do you need to talk about something?"

Oregon looked at the carpeted floor of the bus as it sped into the night. He spoke with a wavering voice. "I mean... yeah, I guess... I shouldn't really tell you this, but..."

...

"...when I was four," Oregon began, looking off into the distance, "my family went on yearly trips to Waldo Lake. It's a little while east of Eugene. Anyway... one summer there was an accident. While we were there, one of the kids vacationing there, um... drowned."

Washington covered his mouth, concerned. "Jesus, that's awful, Oregon. What... what happened?"

"I was there. The kid jumped off a pier, but slipped right before. He hit his head on the wooden post. Ever since then, drowning... or, no, just swimming in water in general, triggers, like, this sort of traumatic reaction from me... things like the boat race from last weekend are fine, but... that was just too much today. People were screaming. Oh, just the screams... I'd thought someone from our team was drowning."

Washington was listening intently, and only elected to speak when Oregon was through talking. "Damn. I'm really sorry about that, Oregon. It's easy to see how you were triggered like that. I've studied up on triggers before. I'm here for you, dude. Whenever you wanna talk."

Oregon smiled slightly at that. "Thanks, Washington," he mumbled. "You're a nice guy. I appreciate the, um... sentiment."

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, and Minnesota.

**aspiringAnimator **- Hooray for traumatic experiences!

The poll is still up at my profile! And remember, reviews are _welcomed!_ I _love_ getting feedback, no matter how sweet or harsh it is. And sorry for such a late chapter! I barely made my Wednesday deadline. I've been writing nonstop for the past three hours, and also playing with a hamster. Sometimes at the same time!

And yeah, to confirm, Chris is fired... according to his producers, that is. But the _show must go on_.


	14. Fugitives

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 13: FUGITIVES**

_"So. You say you can bring Chris McLean to me."_

**Sunday, August 17th, 2014. Minneapolis, Minnesota. 9:01 AM.**

"We're live in five... four... three... two..."

A grim-faced blonde reporter sat at a studio desk. When the camera gave her the signal, she flashed a wide smile, and spoke in her cheeriest voice possible.

"Good morning, Twin Cities! It's 9:01 AM on August 17th. I'm Sandra Pittman at WCCO, and this is your nine o'clock morning news. A bit cloudy, there, Minneapolis! We're expecting a few showers this afternoon. Maybe thunderstorms, but not necessarily something worth canceling any weekend plans you might be having. Now, onto the news."

"Chris McLean, host of the internationally and immensely popular Total Drama reality television series, has reportedly gone missing last Wednesday, along with about forty teenagers ranging from sixteen to seventeen years old. According to reports and an eyewitness account from a paramedic on the scene, they had just gotten finished filming an episode in Florida for their newest season, 'The Fifty State Roadtrip', when McLean evidently made off with the kids. The network, CampTV, known for its teen-centered reality television shows, has pressed charges on McLean, including theft, kidnapping, and a violation of their contract."

"What makes this story _more_ interesting, however, is that according to a credible source who only goes by 'Sierra', the show's next stop would be right here in Minnesota! If you see McLean, and the aforementioned theft of 'five large black charter buses', you've been advised to contact local authorities immediately. Now, onto our weather forecast, Minneapolis. Like I mentioned earlier, we should be expecting some showers later this afternoon, but only a light drizzle, our meteorologist tells us. Take a closer look..."

**9:22 AM.**

"I'm... I'm safe in here..."

Chris was curled up in a ball in the back seat of his limousine, eyes flickering around, never settling on one thing for more than just a moment. He shuddered, and yelled, "Hey, Johnny! How long 'til we're there?"

The limousine driver, Chris's personal intern, glanced over his shoulder, and merely shrugged. Chris groaned, and looked ahead at the five large buses his limousine was following. "Nobody will find us. The show must go on. _The show must go on_."

The intern rolled his eyes. Ahead, the sprawling metropolis of Minneapolis greeted the buses, as Chris's sanity spiraled out of control after the last three days of ducking and hiding away from the police. It wasn't exactly _easy_ to smuggle five buses loaded with approximately thirty-eight children.

**9:40 AM.**

About nine AM. Team Victory's bus.

Most people were still in bed, attempting to gain a few extra minutes of sleep before Chris inevitably brought everyone outside. Not New Mexico and Arizona, though.

"I'm telling you. It's sickening. The way they treat child workers in places like Vietnam is terrible."

"Well... yeah, I'm not really disagreein' with you, Arizona."

"It's just so unfair. And the endless fighting just goes on and on in some countries. We need to be doing more to help them."

"Aww, yeah, I like the sound of that. We'd be shootin' 'em up! Hah!"

"_No_, not war - peace, New Mexico. There are children in many developing countries without access to education, clean drinking water, and healthy food."_  
_

New Mexico looked down at his shoes. It seemed like Arizona had just needed someone to vent to. She smiled, and held his hand. "I'm... sorry, New Mexico, it's just... thinking about injustices like that is terrible to me. I just can't even bear to think of all the people on this show who've been voted off already. I hate even having to pick someone to vote for."

New Mexico nodded. "Yeah. I know what you mean... you want some enchiladas? I'm real good at makin' 'em."

"No, thanks. I think we're almost there."

"Aww. I was hopin' to spend more time with you." He winked, and they briefly shared a kiss. It was probably good that nobody was watching them, aside from the millions of people at home, because it would be kind of awkward.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_52_mp3**

"I know some of my friends at home are probably wondering pretty hard at why I'm dating New Mexico. After all, I, uh... never really had a boyfriend before. And no, Allison, that one time in seventh grade didn't count. But New Mexico is different. I look past his love of guns, and fast food, and partying, and I can see what he really cares about. He has a heart of gold, and his frankly quite adorable attraction towards me shows me this. Deep down, he cares about the persecuted... the victims of our society. I want to show him that he can find something new to discover in everything."

Arizona

**9:53 AM.**

"_Get back in your room._"

North Dakota thrust a long wooden cane into Utah's chest. He was shaking with terror and something else.

"I - I really, _really_ need to go to the bathroom, we've been in there for almost four days now - agh!"

North Dakota had pushed him against the wall. Behind her, South Dakota watched, looking worried. "What was that?" North Dakota seethed, staring at Utah with her big black eyes. "Did you just try to _disagree with me?_" Hm, that's funny, because the one time I let you guys have free will and vote, _you all try to vote me off._ Am I wrong?"

"No!" Utah stammered, looking positively horrified. "I mean, yes, you're wrong, I didn't vote for you-"

"_Lies!_" she growled. "And _again_ with the disagreeing with me. Are you mentally retarded or something? Go _back in your room_. This is what you all get after trying to _rebel_."

Utah, still quaking with anxiety, shuffled back into his bunk room. North Dakota slammed the flimsy door behind him, and rubbed her eyes wearily. "What day is it, South?"

"Uh. Sunday? It's challenge day."

"Fuck."

"Um, language, North... there are cameras everywhere..."

"I don't give a damn. They can piss right off. Do you know how _close _I came to getting voted off a few nights ago? Chris was _literally in the process of saying Minnesota_. If it wasn't for my brilliant plan with the phone alarm, I'd be on a long car ride home right about now."

"Yeah, you mentioned it... several times, actually... look, I really don't feel comfortable with making everyone stay in their rooms all day long, it just seems so-"

"Oh, my God," North Dakota moaned, staring her sister dead in the eyes. "Don't start this again, little sister."

"...I'm only younger by, like, eight months."

"Doesn't matter. I'm still your superior."

**10:13 AM.**

"Out of the buses!" Chris nearly screamed. They had arrived at the enormous parking lot of a huge building on the edge of Minneapolis. It was rather crowded, but evidently all of the customers seemed to regard the contestants as just kids from a field trip or something. Chris's eyes darted back and forth between his contestants and the patrons, looking paranoid. The building they stood in front, however, bore the description, "MALL OF AMERICA".

California's face was alight at seeing the huge mall. A few of the other contestants looked just as intrigued. This was a national monument, after all.

"Is this everybody?" Chris asked, looking around at the thirty-eight contestants. "Okay... okay, good, good... today, we're mixing it up a little with the challenges."

"Originally, each team would be given one thousand dollars and told to purchase as many items as possible with that money. The team with the most items wins. The goal was to buy the cheapest stuff possible, so you could afford more items. Additionally, teams would keep all items they bought, regardless of whether or not they were electronics. But due to some... uh, _interesting_ recent events, we'll have to change it up a little."

"Instead of a thousand dollars, each team gets one hundred dollars, because I only have five hundred bucks on me right now. All teams still get to keep the items that they buy, though. Make sure to keep all your receipts. Oh, uh, one more rule. Apparently, it was tipped off by _someone_ that we were gonna be here, so... the place is swarming with cops."

A few people exchanged glances. Chris's glared hardened. "If you get caught by a guard or a cop or something, you're disqualified. And remember. You kids are _famous._ Chances are, you'll be recognized by some of the customers. Just... _try _not to get into too much trouble, alright? Think of this as... a prep to the nonexistent autograph sessions each of you will have to hold. Hahahaha."

Anxiety replaced the excited looks on everyone's faces. Being surrounded by swarms of fans who know every detail about you didn't seem too inviting. Chris checked his watch, and shouted, "I need you guys back here by eleven! That gives you guys one hour. Try not to buy something too heavy, alright? The team with the most items bought wins. Go!"

The five teams took off towards the huge mall.

**10:20 AM.**

"Alright, guys, let's go over our game plan," Michigan began as the eight members of Team America walked through the lobby of the huge mall. "We buy really cheap things. Maybe, just maybe, something useful for our team. I don't think we can buy a phone, because it'll be impossible to pay the phone bills, and we don't have much money, but surely there's something else useful we could get."

"Just something to connect to the internet would be nice," Virginia stated, looking thoughtful. "We could always use WiFi."

"I agree with Virginia," Ohio said quickly, eyeing Michigan. "But the challenge matters most. We buy cheap things only. If we get something expensive, that might be half our money down the drain. And then we'll lose."

Michigan sighed, and responded, "No, that's not necessarily true. I'm certain there's a team out there that'll succumb to the pressure of buying something shiny and expensive. We'll be fine."

Ohio was about to scoff out a rebuttal, when he nearly bumped right into a girl a little older than he was. She wasn't in the show at all. She wore a small pin on her shirt that read "Team America". Her eyes went wide.

"Oh my God. No way. It's... no way!"

"Uh. What?"

She gasped. "You're Ohio! Oh my God, she was right, you guys actually are here!"

"Hold on," Virginia asked cautiously, "who are you? And who was right?"

The girl looked apologetic, and stammered, "It was a girl on the Total Drama fan forums. She goes by ConnectichusettsLover612. She said that you guys might be here! She was one of the first ones to even get here, actually. There's about twenty of us. Oh, um, sorry, I'm Shelby."

"Well, great," Ohio muttered. "We last five minutes and we're already recognized. Listen, um... don't tell the cops we're here. Okay?"

Her jaw dropped. "Is it true, then? About how Chris went crazy? Everyone's talking about it on Twitter. Ohhh, man, wait until they find out I met you guys - can I get a picture with Michigan?"

"Um. I'm not sure if that's such a good idea..." Michigan stammered.

"No! It'll be fun. I just want proof that I met you guys."

"...how about an autograph instead?"

"Yeah, that works. Have you ever thought of changing your name to Alicia?"

"Uh. What? I'm a guy."

As Michigan hastily scribbled his signature onto a napkin, Virginia mumbled, "Okay... so, what do we do? People knew we were gonna be here. And I don't really like the prospect of being followed by a bunch of fans... no offense."

"None taken," Shelby said, shrugging. "So you guys are being followed by the cops, right?"

"That's right," Ohio responded, looking wary. "What's it matter?"

"Well... personally, I'm rooting for Team America. If you guys don't mind... I could keep the cops away from you guys while you... do whatever it is you're doing here. Is this part of a challenge?"

"Sort of. That... would actually be pretty handy. I didn't even think we had any fans."

Shelby's eyes went huge. "Ohhh, but you guys do. I'm working on a fan fiction where Michigan and Ohio, uh... um. Never mind."

Michigan and Ohio exchanged suspicious glances briefly.

**10:25 AM.**

"This place is huge!" Connecticut exclaimed, looking up at the glass skylights above. Indeed, attractions were around every corner. A Ferris Wheel awaited just ahead. "Remember, guys, we're just here for the challenge," New York reminded everyone. "This isn't a shopping spree. Chris gave us a one hundred dollar bill, and we need to spend it wisely."

"Oh, but look!" Massachusetts suddenly said, pointing at a store. "They've got an American Eagle Outfitters store... I really need a new sweater vest..."

"I - what?"

"I'm just going to go browse!" Massachusetts yelled. New York groaned, and ran after him. "We've only got an hour, Massachusetts! There's no _time_ for buying more of your sweater vests. Those things are like seventy dollars."

"Hush. It'll be just a minute."

Five minutes passed, during which Massachusetts inspected every sweater in the store. He recommended a few of his favorite off-brands to Connecticut and New York. He then bought a blue one for Connecticut for the comparatively cheap price of twenty dollars, despite Connecticut's staunch refusal of the gift. Right as New York was getting ready to send everyone out of the store, a potted plant tapped Pennsylvania on the shoulder.

"Augh!" she squealed, whipping around. "What the hell?"

Chris's head poked out of the plant slightly. "Pssst!" he whispered, after glancing around.

"Chris? Is that you? Why are you a plant?"

"Doesn't matter. You kids have thirty minutes remaining! This is Chris: out!"

Chris then awkwardly shuffled away, freezing in place any time a guard or a cop walked by. New York did a face palm. "Crap. Guys, it's been thirty minutes, and the only thing we've bought is an overpriced blue lump of fabric for Connecticut. What can we buy that's cheap?"

"Uh. Suggestion?" Delaware slowly said. New York pointed at her, and asked, "What is it?"

"How much does gum cost?"

...

"Like a quarter per pack."

"There's a candy store right over there. We could just buy, say, three hundred packs."

New York grinned widely, and planted a kiss on Delaware's forehead, leaving her pretty flustered. "Delaware? You're a genius," he earnestly said. "Now let's go. Hopefully they have enough in stock."

New York set off at a brisk pace towards the candy shop, only to nearly run over a particularly excited-looking teenage girl.

"Augh! Who are you?"

She stared at them with a wide, dead smile and big eyes. "Ohhhhh, my gawsh," she said slowly, pointing at each and every member of Team Democracy. "It's really you guys! I _knew_ you guys would be here."

"Hold on a second," Massachusetts said slowly, pointing at the fan. "You're... I recognize you. You're Sierra! From one of the past seasons. You were always all over Cody."

She squealed, and clapped her hands together rapidly. "Aaaaahhh! Massachusetts knows my name! You. Have. _No_ idea how much of a fan I am of you. Aaaannnd... Connecticut."

Sierra wheeled around the spot to face Connecticut with a wicked grin. He looked uncomfortable. "Um... do I know you?" he stammered.

"You're Connecticut. I have been _rooting for you_ from the beginning. I know _all_ about you. You're sixteen years old. You were born in New Haven. Your favorite color is baby blue. You played tee-ball when you were six. You have two sisters whom I have both met without their knowledge and you go to Wilbur Cross High School. I even know your real name! But I won't tell anyone." She giggle rather unnecessarily, heightening the discomfort between everyone. "Uhhh, sorry, Sierra..." New York began slowly, "I know you must be a big fan or whatever, but... we're in the middle of an important challenge here, and I'd appreciate it if you'd-"

She gasped before he could finish speaking. "Of _course_ I'll come along with you guys!" she exclaimed. "Team Democracy is the _best_. Do you want to see some of my fan art of my OTP? Some of it's a _liiittle_ inappropriate, but... I won't get in the way. I promise!"

**10:33 AM.**

"Holy hell! Check out all these new games!"

Texas and Alabama had dragged their entire team to the rather large Gamestop in the mall, much to the chagrin of most of the girls of their team. They had already purchased an Xbox controller and Grand Theft Auto IV, a purchase that sunk more than forty dollars of their money, and which was made despite the fact that there weren't any consoles to play the game with on the bus. That did little to cap their excitement, however.

"Tex! Look! They got preorders for the new Call of Duty!"

"Awww, check it out, bro! You ever played Dead Rising?"

"Yeah! Me an' my cousin played it all the time!"

Mississippi cautiously approached her boyfriend, after being pushed forward by a somewhat irate South Carolina. "Uh... Bama?" she tentatively asked. "Maybe we should get goin'... we need to think 'bout the challenge..."

"Huh?" Alabama asked, glancing behind him. "Oh. Yeah, we are! Chris said we get to keep all the stuff we buy. Y'all, this is some of the _most useful_ stuff in this entire mall!"

Mississippi looked doubtful at that. "But... we need to get cheap items, and all of this costs like forty dollars..." Alabama waved her down, and peered down at a few of the Playstation 4 titles. "Naaah. Don't worry 'bout it, hun. We ain't gonna lose the challenge."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_53_mp3**

"I don't really like making confessionals. It makes me feel like I'm admitting some secret, except for the fact that I don't actually have many secrets. But I will say this. The way Alabama and Texas have been, uh, leading us just isn't good for the team as a whole. Like... the way they voted off Florida like that? That wasn't cool. Now, I know I might not be just like my teammates. I don't like football that much, for instance. But that doesn't mean I don't have a voice about the going-on's in my team."

Arkansas

**10:40 AM.**

"And just _how_ do you know that this is the right stuff to buy, California?" Washington asked, carrying a cardboard box filled with the trinkets they'd bought. "I mean, no offense, it's just... you don't come off as the, um... intelligent type. Not - not usually, anyways, so... no offense."_  
_

She looked confused. "Well," she began, crossing off a few items off her list, "there's a whole system to buying things, y'know. I have a _lot_ of experience with working with small amounts of money. Like, oh my gawsh, you wouldn't even _believe_ the kind of stuff that's involved. There's a formula."

"Okay," Washington gasped, carrying the box a little higher. "And does it include _why_ I'm carrying five hundred condoms?"

"Because they're cheap!" Arizona explained, carrying her own box as she walked beside him in the crowded mall. "They go for like five cents a piece when you buy 'em in bulk. Where to next, California?"

"Well..." she stated, slowly. "I think we have enough items. Exactly one thousand five hundred. And there's about twenty-five dollars left... if we give each of us three dollars, that should be enough for each of us to buy a little trinket that we want. There's no way we can lose with _this _many condoms."

"That's the first time I've ever heard that phrase," Oregon mused with a small grin. "It kind of sucks that we don't have enough money each to buy anything significantly useful, though."

"Yo, wait," Hawaii suggested, holding his hand out as a signal for everyone to stop. "We might be able to. We could all pool our money in for somethin' real useful that we could all use."

California shrugged, as Washington nodded his head thoughtfully at that. "That's not a bad idea. What could we buy with just twenty-five dollars...?"

**10:48 AM.**

"I need some new earrings," North Dakota mused, looking over the jewels in a rather expensive store. Apart from South Dakota, the rest of her team was instructed to sit quiet and not interrupt her. "North?" South Dakota suddenly said, looking worried. "All we've bought is expensive things. We don't really have enough money to be thinking of... of earrings."

"We got an iPod Touch for fifty bucks," she snapped back, deserting the rather expensive pair of earrings. "That's _useful_. This way, we can connect to the internet if we need to. And even if we _do_ lose the challenge, I'm pretty sure we can live without a few of these numbnuts."

She jerked her thumb towards Kansas and Utah, who both looked down at the floor in shame. At that, South Dakota looked even more wary of her sister. "But... that's not really fair to the other members of the team..."

North Dakota stared at South Dakota. "Are you kidding me?" she asked incredulously. "Do you even know how leadership works? There's a leader, and then there's the followers. The leader has absolute control over the followers. If there wasn't absolute control, our team would immediately fall apart. Get a clue, sis."

"But that doesn't make sense," South Dakota pressed on, after a quick glance at the pleading eyes of her fellow teammates. "That's not how all of the other teams work. The other teams work based on, um, mutual interest, and working as a team, not pleasing the needs and wants of just one person-"

"I'm gonna say this nicely, South. Shut up. You don't know what you're talking about."

"I-"

"No. Shut up. You've had no experience in leadership whatsoever. Did _you_ become class president of sophomore year?"

"...no."

"Then shut up."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_54_mp3**

"Okay... I know my sister has good intentions. And she hasn't always been like this, believe it or not. Used to, all she cared about in school was getting good grades and beating her rivals, most of whom didn't even realize her animosity towards them. But now all she's obsessed with is leadership. She wants to be the best of the best. And frankly... it's a little unsettling."

South Dakota

**10:53**

"Okay, so far we've bought about... fifty items," Michigan said, looking over a list. Shelby, the fan, had left quite a while ago to distract the guards. "Most of it's candy and snacks. And a... laser pointer," he added, glancing over at Kentucky, who clapped his hands in glee. "So what next?"

"I think we need to buy more bulk items," Virginia stated worriedly, looking at their many bags. "I mean, we've got a lot of stuff, but... we can't just count on some team being really stupid and buying a lot of expensive stuff. This is a challenge, after all."

North Carolina stepped in, almost unnoticed, and mentioned, "I saw Team Victory carrying three big cardboard boxes. It looked like they were buying TV's or something. I'm not sure if we have to worry too much about buying cheap things anymore."

"They were?" Virginia asked, stupefied. "Well, alright. I guess... well, we have about forty dollars left... how about this. Each of y'all take five dollars and get something that you like, and we'll call it a day. It's almost been an hour, anyways."

Eagerly, each member of Team America took a five dollar bill, right when the entire team was spotted by a guard waving his fist at a teenage girl in the distance, who was sprinting away.

"Hey!" he shouted into his radio, pointing at the eight kids. "Those are the kids! Stay where you are! I found them!"

"Oh, _shit_..." Ohio muttered, dropping his money. "_Run!_"

**10:55 AM.**

Chris stood in a secluded corner of the mall, checking his watch and tapping his feet. He'd been listening to the local police radio chatter; it seemed that one of his teams had been discovered. He was biting his nails. If he lost eight kids, that would be a serious impact on the show. It would be even worse in a court room; eight witnesses to Chris's actions was a _lot_.

Moments later, however, teams Democracy, Victory, and Dakota came rushing up to him. "Where _were_ you guys?" he whispered harshly. "Did you get the stuff?"

"This isn't a drug deal, Chris!" New Jersey whispered back. "But yeah... I mean, we got a bunch of stuff..."

In an instant, Chris caught a glimpse of the girl who accompanied Team Democracy. "Oh my God."

"Chriiis! Heeeyyy!"

"This isn't happening."

"I'm baaack! Oh my gosh, these are the other teams!"

Chris dropped to his knees, and raised his hands in surrender. "I give up," he said earnestly. "I thought I would be rid of you _forever_."

Sierra's smile widened even further. "Can I staaay on the show?" she asked. "Come onnn. We have _history_, Chris!"

"_IT'S CALLED HISTORY BECAUSE IT'S OVER AND IT'S NEVER HAPPENING AGAIN SO STOP SENDING IN APPLICATIONS_."

"Awww, come on, Chris! Just for one episode."

"Shut up. We're doing the challenge right now. Give us some space."

North Dakota eyed Team Democracy and Team Victory's boxes suspiciously as Sierra inched closer to Connecticut. Even Chris looked surprised at the boxes. "You guys got that stuff with just a hundred bucks?" he asked incredulously. Just then, all eight members of Team Touchdown came running up, carrying two plastic bags each labeled "Gamestop". "Chriiis!" Texas yelled. "We need more money!"

"What?"

"Well, we ran out, and they've got the limited edition Xbox 360 up for sale, and we really really need a console to go with these games, so can you _please_ just lend us seventy more dollars-"

"Wait, how many items _did_ you guys get?"

Texas looked excited, and reached into the bags. "Ohhh, these are _gems_, y'all. We got one Xbox controller, GTA IV, Mass Effect 2 for Alabama... and if just had _seventy more dollars_ we could get an Xbox for cheap. There's this guy in an alley who says he can get us one-"

"You guys only bought _three items?_"

"Well, four, if y'all could just just lend us seventy more bucks-"

Chris groaned, and facepalmed. "You guys were supposed to buy cheap stuff."

"Well, we didn't buy _perfume _or _jewelry_ like everybody else, so we can't have spent that much money-"_  
_

"Ugh," Chris muttered, then glanced around, paranoid. "It doesn't matter. Where's Team America?"

"I know!" Sierra suddenly exclaimed. "One of my forum buddies is helping them out. They're currently-"

"_Help!_" Ohio suddenly shouted, running up to them with the rest of his team. "They're after us!"

"Who? The fans?" Chris asked, right before he saw who was really chasing them. There were about a dozen guards.

"_SCATTER!_"

All the teams separated. It was a frenzy of shouting and running. The guards were stunned; there were about forty kids to catch, making it impossible to take out any single culprit. "I'm gonna need backup!" one shouted into his radio. Minutes later, the teams were out the door, Chris leading the way. "Go! _Go!_" he screamed at the bus drivers waiting in the parking lot. "Everyone in! We gotta get out of here!"

"_Get back here!_" the guards shouted, waving their fists angrily at the buses. In less than ten seconds, everyone was on their respective buses and out of the parking lot, just managing to evade the police for the time being.

**12:02 PM.**

Team Victory's bus. Speeding at eighty miles per hour out of the city of Minneapolis. Noon.

"Sooo... condoms."

"Yep. Condoms."

The entire team sat in the common room of the bus for a team meeting. Three boxes of the stuff sat between the seven contestants. "Not just condoms, though!" Arizona reminded them. "For the easy price of twenty-five dollars, we also got..."

She withdrew a PDA from a bag. Idaho gaped at it. "Those things cost a fortune."

"Well, this one's a little old, but... it should be... useful?"

"Hmm," Washington murmured, inspecting the device. "It's got GPS systems, a calculator, a translator, a transmitter... no WiFi, though, so I guess we're gonna be in the dark about anything that happens on the outside. So who won the challenge?"

...

"_I'm glad you asked that, Washington!_" the radio from the dashboard of the bus blared. Chris seemed in a significantly better mood now that everyone was safe and sound on the buses. "_I took a look at everyone's receipts, aaannnd... Team Victory won the challenge with one thousand, five hundred one purchases made! Team Democracy came in second with three hundred eleven purchases made, Team America in third with seventy three purchases made, Team Dakota in fourth with twenty-eight purchases made, aaannnd... Team Touchdown: last place, with literally just three purchases made. Gooood job. Also, can someone please get Sierra off Team Democracy's bus?_"

Cheers went up in the air in Team Victory's humble little bus. "We did it!" Oregon yelled. "I wonder if we could do anything useful with all these condoms."

Disgusted looks were flung towards Oregon, who suddenly froze up. "_NO!_" he yelped. "Not like _that__!_ I mean something creative, like as, um... water balloons, or... um... never mind."

**6:55 PM.**

Sirens blared in the distance. Team Touchdown's bus was parked in the middle of a rather large, deserted parking lot of a soon to be built supermarket on the edge of town. Sierra stood with them, slightly crestfallen that she was being sent back to Canada after immediately placing herself back into the season. Chris seemed a little more paranoid than ever, and kept glancing towards the highway in the distance.

"Welcome to the voting ceremony, yadda-yadda-yadda, let's get to it. Today, I _do_ have snacks. Team America was kind enough to, uh... _relieve_ a bit of their candy. It mainly involved threatening them with an elimination ceremony until they gave it up. When I call your name, you get one, and that means you're safe. If you don't get one, it means everyone hates your guts, and you're heading home. Sound fun? Let's do it."

Everyone glanced around nervously at each other. There was no clear person to vote for this round. Chris grinned evilly, and began giving out snacks.

"Arkansas! Zero votes. Here you go!"

A bag of Oreo's landed in his lap. Chris continued, "Georgia and Louisiana! No votes. Cheetos for the both of you."

That just left Texas, Mississippi, Tennessee, Alabama, and South Carolina. Chris frowned. "The votes were everywhere today," he informed them. "A liiittle crazy. But whatever. This bag of Nutty Buddies goes to... Tennessee! Not sure why you got a vote."

She caught the bag gratefully. Chris eyed the remaining four teens.

"Next snack is for... Mississippi! One vote."

Chris looked over the final three. Texas, Alabama, and South Carolina. He shrugged. "The penultimate bag is for..."

...

"Alabama. One vote, dude."

He exhaled, and caught the bag of brownies with no trouble. It was down to just Texas and South Carolina now.

"It seems like this person would've been voted off, had it not been for an alliance of three to vote for the other person. The last bag goes to..."

...

...

...

"...Texas. Two votes."

He grinned in relief, as South Carolina stood up incredulously. "_What__?_" she exclaimed. "No! That's - why me?"

"I dunno. You got votes from three people who seem to be allied at the moment."

"Who?" she asked desperately, as an intern arrived with her bag. Chris shrugged. "It should be blatantly obvious to anybody who's been watching the show up until this point. Anyways. See you later, South Carolina. Hope your sis isn't too upset."

"Oh, no..." she muttered. "My sister. Chris, this is _your_ fault! If y'all just let me be on Team America with my sister, this never would have happened-"

"Yeah, whatever," Chris cut her off, evidently annoyed at this point. "I said, 'See you later'. That means go. You _too_, Sierra! I don't wanna see you here again, either."

South Carolina stared at her team. Most of the girls seemed shocked that she was the one going home tonight. With a huff, she stomped away with Sierra towards the cab, hoisting her pink travel bag a little higher as she walked.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_55_mp3**

"I do feel kinda bad about singlin' out South Carolina. Personally, I didn't even think it would work, it was just me, Alabama, an' his girlfriend all votin' 'gainst the same person. Secretly... I kinda felt like either me or Al would be goin' home, an' to be honest, we do kinda deserve it. But it looks like we've got the power to vote off anyone we want, so... we got nothin' to fear anymore."

Texas

**7:08 PM.**

"They _what__?_"

"I'm sorry, ma'am. They escaped right before we could catch them."

"Ugh. You people are pathetic."

Toronto, Canada. Early evening. Chris had evaded escape while the network producers tried desperately to hunt him down and release the kids.

"Is that it? Do you have anything else to tell us? I'm a busy woman, you know. Running a television network isn't exactly easy."

"Well... I have a client who feels as though she can take down Mr. McLean."

"What's her name?"

"She only goes by 'B'. She feels that once Chris is out of the way... she could be an excellent host for the season."

"Hmph. Any experience?"

"Oh, yes. Plenty."

"...bring her in."

A woman dressed in all black attire walked in. Long, blonde hair flowed from her head. She had a smug little grin on her face.

"So," the producer said, leaning back in her chair. "You say you can bring Chris McLean to me."

"Oh, yes," B said, smiling widely at the thought. "I know him better than most others. You'll have him by the end of the week."

"Good. Make sure there are no casualties. I hope this goes unsaid. This is a television network for kids, after all, and we feel that after some... _reeducation_, McLean could be fit for hosting once more. Thank you, 'B'."

...

"We don't have to use the code names," B awkwardly said. "There's nobody listening, and you know perfectly well who I am-"

"I like using the code names. It makes me feel like I'm the head of an evil corporation."

...

"Um. Okay, then."

"Good. Have McLean here by the end of the week. I expect your full attention on the matter. If you succeed... you will be the new host of the show."

******ELIMINATED:** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, and South Carolina.

**aspiringAnimator** - Upon the backs of a thousand chanting, brilliant angels, I bring you the thirteenth episode of The Fifty State Roadtrip! The crowd goes wild with dismay, and commits mass suicide. By the way, I was REAAALLY tempted to name this chapter "1,500 Condoms" just for fun, but I'm not sure that would be allowed.

Also... you may have noticed a change in style. There are no more X's lining the screen to signify changes in scene. Personally, I hated the X's, and I only used them because the horizontal line feature works like 50% of the time. What do you think?

The poll continues to be a thing that exists. Also, sorry for writing long chapters. This was surprisingly the longest yet. It's a bad habit of mine. I SEEM to be keeping up with the update schedule regardless of the fact that I have school every week day. Also, review! You need not an account. I really DO listen to my reviews... as you can see with a few characters in this chapter. Anyways, until next time.


	15. The Show Must Go On

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 14: THE SHOW MUST GO ON**

_"I can feel them converging around me as I speak." - Chris_

**Wednesday, August 20th, 2014. Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. 11:23 AM.**

"I can't believe it... she _actually got herself voted off?_"

North Carolina was voicing her woes to Indiana, who shrugged in response. "I mean," North Carolina continued, "I never, ever expected her to get very far in the game, but... we've only been in it for a month and a half."

"I dunno," Indiana muttered, sketching something out. "But you can't really see it as _that_ surprising, considering she was on a team with _so many_ simply _outstanding_ intellectuals."

"Okay, yeah," North Carolina admitted, rubbing her forehead. "Yeah... but still, that's the thing. I mean, compared to most of the people on that team, she was _smart_. But... whatever."

The two girls sat in silence for a few moments, as the steady sound of the bus droned on and on. North Carolina looked out the window with a sigh at the Atlantic Ocean. "Looks pretty," she muttered, pointing at the shimmering waters. Indiana shrugged in response, focusing on her drawing.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_56_mp3**

"To those of you at home listening to this, try to just disregard what I'm saying. This is a message to South Carolina. Sis? I'm sorry you got voted off. I'm not sure what happened, and don't worry, I have no intention of asking. I just hope you're not too broken up about it. What I mean is... it was just a silly game, and that's always what it was supposed to be. Yeah, we didn't get to be on the same team, and only saw each other briefly every few days, but we auditioned to have fun, didn't we? Anyways. Hope you're rooting for me back home. Tell Caleb I said hi."

North Carolina

**12:01 PM.**

"CampTV, McLean is beginning to slow," a masked agent muttered into a walkie-talkie. "Current speed is now twenty-eight miles per hour... maintaining speed."

"_Hope you know what you're doing!_" a woman's voice called from the radio. "_You think this is the day, agent B?_"_  
_

"Yep. Also, you really don't have to use the code words, they're frankly a bit silly-"

"_I like the code words._"

"They're unnece-"

"_I like them._"

...

Agent B's car was tailing the five large buses along the highways of South Carolina. Within an hour, they would be stopped for the fourteenth challenge of the show. It had been incredibly easy to find the buses; it's not exactly an easy task to hide five long black charter buses out of view. As far as the agent knew, Chris didn't even suspect she was tailing them. A bright August sun gleamed down upon them all. This was going to be a fun day.

**12:36**** PM.**

Chris peered out the tinted windows of his personal limousine. The gleaming bright Atlantic coast skidded by. He checked his watch, and told his driver, "Yo, we were supposed to be there five minutes ago! What gives?"

His only response was a shrug. Chris grumbled something, and nervously glanced around once more. For the past week or so, he couldn't shake the feeling that he was being watched.

"Alright..." he breathed, looking at the vehicle's surrounding. "Okay, this is good..."

He grabbed the walkie-talkie, and yelled into it, "Campers! I - I mean, contestants. Contestants. We're here. Stop the buses. We're getting out."

Chris shuddered, almost dreading the upcoming challenge. Usually, he was very pumped about hosting his own show, but after the most recent events, in addition to being charged with kidnapping, attempted assault, and who knows what else, he was growing to dread the whole process. But the show must go on.

The show must go on.

"Stop here," Chris grunted, and stepped out of the limo. He stretched, and looked around. The car was parked on the side of a long boardwalk. Down past the walkway, a sandy expanse greeted them, and past that, the murky gray Atlantic Ocean. There weren't many people; it was a Wednesday, and summer was beginning to wane already. Beside the limousine, five charter buses parked, each slowly letting out the thirty-seven contestants. Chris flashed his trademark smile, but it seemed slightly hampered. The smile was twitchy, and feigned. "Happy challenge day!" he greeted the contestants once the majority of them had filed out. Smiles grew; it seemed like a fun day at the beach was ahead.

This was not the case.

Kansas stepped out of Team Dakota's bus, squinting at the brightness. "We're going to the beach?" he asked Chris, who shook his head in reply.

"Nope! Well, sort of. But there's no need for bathing suits this time. I would change into mine, but I'm sort of wearing a bullet-proof vest, so..."

Chris awkwardly fidgeted. Ohio leaned over to Virginia, and whispered, "Please let him be joking."

...

"Anyway!" Chris said with a clap of his hands. "If you would all follow me!"

Chris descended the wooden steps down onto the beach. The contestants followed. A few had to strip off some of their clothes; the August sun evidently wasn't really doing it well for a few of the warmly-dressed northerners like New York and Delaware.

The thirty-eight people walked down the beach to the water, garnering stares as they went by. Seeing three dozen fully-dressed teenagers at the beach wasn't _entirely_ normal. Nevertheless, Chris pointed at the sand about twenty feet from the water.

"We're making sand castles!"

Groans went up in the air. A few people looked mildly excited, but quickly assumed a fallen expression when it was apparent that nobody else wanted to build sand castles but them. Chris frowned at the reaction. "That's not the spirit!" he yelled, trying in vain to garner excitement. "It's either this or we spend a week undercover. I was tempted, too, but I wanna stay on schedule. So get building!"

"Who's gonna judge them?" Arizona asked. Chris froze for a few moments, thinking, as though he hadn't actually planned this out. "I will!" he decided. "We usually have three judges, but... we're sort of... yeah. Not in a position where I can actually get the judges here. Anyways. Chop chop. Two hours. Get to it."

**12:54 PM.**

"Does anyone know where the shovel is?" Tennessee asked over the din of people shouting and yelling and building. "Right here!" Georgia responded, tossing her the tool. "Coming through!" Arkansas yelled, carrying a large pail of water. "I don't wanna spill this. It'd be another trip back to the water."

Mississippi stood, doing nothing but looking intently at Texas and Alabama, who were sitting in the sand about ten feet away from the sand castle. "Hey..." she slowly asked, "can't we let Texas and Alabama build with us?"

"No!" Louisiana said firmly, covered in sand. "This is payback for last round. Today, the girls get to build. We're tired of being left out."

Whoops went up in the air from most of the girls, and a quiet cough from Arkansas, who glanced at Louisiana pointedly. "Oh," she muttered. "And Arkansas."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_57_mp3**

"Lemme say this right off the bat. I really like the guys of our team! They're real fun to be 'round. But like _hell_ are they gonna run the show on this team. 'Specially not after last challenge. Not exactly leadership material, know what I mean? But anyways. It was just for this episode as payback. An' buildin' sand castles is fun! I never knew."

Louisiana

**12:55 PM.**

Texas sighed, and kicked at the sand absentmindedly. "Damn, dude..." he mumbled. "I mean, I wouldn't'a been exactly thrilled 'bout buildin' me some sand castles, but... c'mon, dude. You're lettin' your girlfriend kick your butt. Wear the pants of the relationship."

Alabama sighed, mirroring Texas. "Nah, man," he replied, looking out over the ocean. "It _was_ our fault we lost yesterday, and we didn't even take the blame. So... yeah, I think we deserve this. Plus, yeah, I wouldn't'a been too excited 'bout buildin' me a little princess tower out'a sand, know what I mean?"

Texas chuckled, grinning. "Arkansas seems to be havin' a blast," he remarked, looking at his five teammates in the sand. Alabama looked over the beach in deep thought. He then broke the brief silence.

"Well..." Alabama began, thinking. "Some people like doin' some things that others might not like. We're all different. And if Arkansas really wants to build some sand castles, or read books, then... damn it, I ain't gonna stop him."

...

"You ain't goin' through _character development_, are you, Al?"

"Shut up, man! I'm just thinkin' out loud here."

"Excuse me!" a woman's voice quietly said. Texas turned around carefully to see a tall, skinny, blonde woman wearing shades and some raggedy clothing. She had a newspaper to cover most of her face. "Hi! I was just wondering what was going on here."

"Who're you?" Texas asked the lady. She waved a hand like it didn't matter. "Never mind that!" she cried, and then leaned in. "So... is this for... a reality television show?"

"Yeah. Why?" Texas asked. Alabama then turned around to join Texas in the conversation, looking curious. The woman smiled widely, wearing bright cherry red lipstick. "Well, I was looking over at that host over there," she said slowly, as though Texas and Alabama were mentally handicapped. "And I recognized him as _the_ Chris McLean!"

"Yeah...?"

"He sure does seem like a mean guy, doesn't he?" she added, expression covered by her over sized shades. Alabama shrugged, and mumbled, "He's alri-"

"What would be your reactions to a new host?"

...

She smiled widely at them, evidently patiently awaiting their response. However... there was something slightly menacing about her. For one thing, she smelled strongly of dead flowers.

"Uhhh... a new host?"

"Yes! For The Fifty State Roadtrip," she explained slowly, smiling even wider. Alabama frowned, and said, "Wait, ain't you that lady from-"

There was then an instant in which Chris looked over casually towards Team Touchdown's group. The woman sprang up, and shouted, "I need to go. I'll see you kids later!"

She flounced off rather quickly, leaving Texas and Alabama without a response. The two merely shrugged, while Texas muttered, "That was weird."

**1:09 PM.**

"How does this look?" Massachusetts asked, indicating a tall spiral tower he'd constructed. Connecticut looked it up and down, and nodded his approval. "It looks nice!" he commented, filling up a pail with sand. "I think we need to make our sand castle really tall. Like... like a skyscraper or something..."

"That's... an idea," Massachusetts said slowly. "I'm not sure how practical that would be, though, but... um. It's something."

Connecticut nodded vigorously, clearly dreaming up plans for a sand tower to reach to the stars. Massachusetts rolled his eyes, and set his attention back on the task at hand. But a few moments later, he found his mind distracted by other thoughts.

"Um... Connecticut?"

"Hmm. Hm?"

"What do you think, hypothetically, if I liked someone from our team?"

"Hmm. Yes... wait. What?"

"Purely hypothetically, obviously."

"Wow. Really, Massachusetts?" Connecticut asked in disbelief. "Well... lemme guess. New Jersey."

"Huh? Wait, What? Ew, no. It's-"

"New York, then."

"It's not a guy! Jesus, Connecticut."

...

"But you're gay."

"Oh my God," Massachusetts groaned, facepalming. "I keep telling you, I'm - forget it. I didn't say anything."

"No, wait, what were you gonna say? C'mon, you can tell me. I'm the only one on this team with any experience in romance on this show."

...

Massachusetts sighed. "Well. It's Maine," he said quietly, avoiding any eye contact.

...

"Oh. A girl? Huh. So you're not gay, then?"

"Oh my God, Connecticut. I told you. I'm bi."

"But didn't you have a thing for Vermont at one point?"

"Do you even know what bisexual means?"

Connecticut drew up a blank face. "It's like..." he began, gesturing in ways that did not help. "It's another word for gay."

"It's not."

"It isn't?" Connecticut asked, in absolute disbelief.

"It means I'm attracted to both genders. Y'know, you're making this harder than it needs to be."

...

"So you like her?"

Massachusetts sighed quietly, and looked down at the sand. The rest of his team was diligently working under the guide of New York. "I guess," he admitted. "I mean... it's kind of silly, I think, but I think we've grown to be pretty good friends over the last few weeks, and... I dunno. She's kind of a fun person to be around."

Connecticut coughed, grinning slightly. Massachusetts stared at him. "What?" he asked, bewildered.

"Well... she's no Rhode Island."

Massachusetts laughed out loud. "You've still got a crush on her?" he asked, unbelieving. "She's gone, man. Sorry. And I don't think Chris is bringing anybody back into the show."

New York heard the laughter, and pointed at the two guys. "Hey!" he yelled. "We've got a sand castle to build here. We could use your help."

"Coming!" Connecticut called, and stood up. "Don't worry, dude," he said, smiling. "I won't tell her. Or anyone, I guess."

"Thanks, Connecticut," Massachusetts replied with a tiny grin, and grabbed a shovel.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_58_mp3**

"I should, um, probably clarify my attraction to Maine here. It's not, like, a random thing. I've known Maine for a few weeks now, and generally, she's a pretty nice person to be around. She was sympathetic to the fact that I'm bi, and is probably one of the few people on this show I could call an honest friend. So... yeah, this isn't coming out of nowhere or anything like that. And... I was thinking about what New York said. About, y'know, pairing up with other people on the show, and how it might help you later on. I just hope I'm not about to, like, jump head first into reject city."

Massachusetts

**1:16 PM.**

"What if we, like... use _underwear as a flag?_"

"We're not doing that, Kentucky."

"But... it would be so funny..."

The members of Team America worked on constructing what was to be one of the most intricately designed sand castles to be seen yet. Though it was starting to pale in comparison to Team Victory's spiraling towers, there was no way it would take Team America into last place. The team was pretty much set for this challenge.

Until the bickering began.

"Michigan, I don't think it's a good idea to use more water. It's compact enough as it is."

"It's _fine_, Ohio. There's no need to worry. I'm just cementing what we have already."

...

"Right, because you're so very good at designing."

"Are you being sarcastic, Ohio?"

"Of _course_ not."_  
_

...

Eyes began to roll from the other members of the team. For the last three weeks or so, Ohio and Michigan had done nothing but hurl passive-aggressive comments at each other, like, "_Someone_ forgot to empty the trash can last night. I wonder who."

Virginia had long discarded the very notion of trying to separate them, or stop the bickering. The two spent every moment together doing nothing but hating each other. It would've been cute if it wasn't severely distracting to everyone else.

"Well, _I'm_ not the one who clogged the toilet last month."

"Are you implying_I_ was the one who did that, Ohio?"

"I'm not sure. I'm just saying it wasn't me."

There was a brief pause. Ohio reached out a hand, and-

"Ohio! Watch it. You almost knocked over that column."

"Don't tell me what to watch, Michigan. I'll watch what I want."

"You're being unreasonable."

"And you're being stupid."

Michigan gaped at his teammate. "That's not very mature..." he muttered under his breath. Ohio fumed.

"What'd you say?"

"Like you care."

"No, tell me. I am absolutely _ensconced_ in the folds of your personal infatuation with me, Michigan."

"I - what? Forget it, dude, we've got to work on this."

...

"Ohio. You almost knocked over another column."

"My hand was nowhere near that column! You've got to stop bossing everyone around."

Virginia cleared her throat. "Um. Guys?" she quietly said. "Can you keep it down? We're trying to work here."

"Look what you did, Michigan. You made Virginia upset."

Virginia looked taken aback at Ohio. "What the hell, Ohio?" she said, looking over him suspiciously. "What's gotten into you? I'm not ups-"

"Yeah, Ohio. What's even gotten _into_ you?"

Ohio's fists curled up into a ball. "Shut up. All of you."

Michigan eyed Ohio rather cautiously now, and scooted away from him. "Jeez."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_59_mp3**

"Okay. That might have gone a little overboard. But still, my point stands strong. Ohio's rude and irresponsible. He starts every argument! Almost _always_ I'm just sitting there, minding my own business, and then Ohio comes along, and he's always trying to mess with me. I _like_ to think that we could've been good friends if we had actually tried, but... I don't know if I'd want to be friends with someone like _him_.

Michigan

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_60_mp3**

"What's Michigan's deal? He's always butting in and telling me what to do. And bossy, too. He starts every argument! He's such a meddler. Always bugging and fussing and meddling. What's his deal? He thinks _he_ actually has what it takes to be a leader. Y'know what? I think he's even conspiring against me now. Probably wants to kick me off the show. I... guess I'll be forced to take him out before he gets me out of the game. And no, we're not _rivals_, or whatever people are calling us. That's not a thing. Stop that."

Ohio

**1:35 PM.**

North Dakota's scowl grew deeper and deeper as she surveyed her team's pitiable creation. There were less than thirty minutes left on the clock, and the best her team had been able to construct was a rather damp looking mound of sand with a few piles around it here and there. After a while, even South Dakota began to help her team make it look a little nicer, but to no avail.

"So what do we do?" South Dakota murmured, looking worriedly at her five teammates all diligently trying their best. "I mean... I don't think we're winning with something like this."

North Dakota didn't respond, and just looked around the sunny beach to sneak peeks at the other teams' sculptures. By far, Team Victory's towering monolith of a creation was in the lead in terms of aesthetic appeal; Oregon, the primary architect, had been forced to use a ladder to reach the highest points.

North Dakota grinned slyly. "I've got a plan," she muttered, and walked off. South Dakota was left standing there with her mouth open, gaping at her sister's "dramatic" exit. "What's that supposed to mean?" she cried after her.

"Well..." she began, pausing before she left. "Our team clearly has no artistic ability. If we can find a way to, oh, I don't know... make one of the _other_ team's castles look worse than ours, then we might win."

South Dakota appeared confused. "And... just _how_ are we going to do that? It'd better not involve chea-"

"I'll be right back," North Dakota finished with a sneaky grin, and set off for Team Victory's structure. South Dakota shook her head slowly at her sister, and elected to get back to work on her own team's work.

**1:38 PM.**

"It's magnificent..." Washington gaped, looking up at the sand castle. A huge pit laid about fifteen feet away, from where they got their sand used to build it. Oregon glanced down from his perch on the ladder, and waved, grinning widely.

"Cool, huh?" Hawaii remarked, looking up at the structure. Washington nodded. "Yeah. Careful, it's not too sturdy... but I think we've got this challenge in the bag. It looks like a skyscraper, almost."

Over about five feet away, Arizona and New Mexico stood side by side, holding hands, and looking up at the castle. "Wow..." Arizona breathed, looking up. "It was a lot of work, but I think it _really_ paid off."

New Mexico nodded, grinning, wearing his iconic shades against the bright southern sun. "You think there might be a prize?" he wondered. "It'd be nice if we got somethin' useful for our team. Somethin' that could, like, connect to the internet."

"We've got our PDA," she reminded him. "It's going to come in handy. I just know it. And anyways, I think the main prize is that we _don't_ go to voting tonight. Our team is at its bare bones enough as it is."

"Yeah, I guess..." New Mexico mumbled, gripping her hand a little tighter.

A few feet away, Idaho was lifting a pail of water up to Oregon via the step ladder. He climbed down, began to walk the perimeter of Team Victory's castle. He tripped on an outstretched leg.

"Oh, _sh_-"

He tumbled, and fell onto the ladder. Oregon shrieked, lost his grip, and toppled to the sandy ground below. The ladder swayed precariously back and forth, right before it fell onto the structure. After a lot of shouting, screaming, and running, the structure had been reduced to a large pile of sand.

There was a long period of silence in which everyone stared at the decimated structure. Chris came running up.

"What the _hell_ just happened?"

Idaho was sitting in the pile, looking incredibly terrified and confused.

"I... I tripped on something, I fell-"

Groans went up from Team Victory, while the other teams rejoiced. Chris sighed, and checked his watch. "Well," he began, "it's about time for judging, so let's get this on with, I guess. Team Touchdown. Show me your castle."

Team Touchdown's structure was a whimsically-designed, elaborate structure that looked a lot like Hogwarts. Chris grinned at it, nodding. "I like this one!" he decided. "It's detailed. I give Team Touchdown seven points."

Arkansas delivered high-fives to his teammates. Chris smiled, and moved onto Team Democracy. Before Chris, stood an array of artistic, yet simple towers of sand. It looked like a futuristic city.

"Hmmm. Six, I guess. Decent. Next up!"

Chris moved onto Team Victory's now decimated castle. He sighed. "Y'know, I actually liked this one a lot!" he announced to the awaiting contestants. "Buuut... in this state? I'd give it a two. It's just a pile of sand."

Washington crossed his arms in defiance, looking outright furious. Oregon was holding back tears, looking at the pile of sand like he'd lost a brother. Chris rolled his eyes, and moved onto Team Dakota. The castle from Team Dakota wasn't very impressive at all. It could probably be best described as "minimalistic". North Dakota's gaze went back and forth from hers to Team Victory's. With enough luck... the ruse she'd concocted would put Team Victory in dead last.

"I give this one a four. It's not that good."

Chris moved onto Team America's huge creation. It was a pure, rectified fortress of sand, seemingly impenetrable. Chris nodded his head in approval, overlooking the design. "I like this!" he decided, squinting. "This team has a lot of artistic talent. I'm gonna have to give Team America... an eight!"

A roar of cheers went up from the team, everyone jumping up and celebrating. Even Michigan and Ohio shared a rather awkward embrace, after which they quickly stepped away from each other as soon as it was over. "Yes!" Virginia cheered. "We did it!"

"Which means!" Chris continued, looking over Team Victory with a devilish grin. "Which means... Team Victory is going to voting today. Not too surprising."

Washington groaned, and rubbed his eyes. "But Chris," he began, "Our sand castle was surely one of the best. It was an accident. Idaho didn't mean to do that. Wait..."

"Too bad, so sad!" Chris said, making a mock pouting face at Washington. "You kids are going to be the first to have a six-person group. Like I said... lots of firsts with this group here. To the buses! And fast. I think we're being followed."

As the teams entered the buses, Washington glanced over at North Dakota, who stared straight back at him. He got the message.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_61_mp3**

"That was a dirty move. Someone like North Dakota is going to get far in this game, if she keeps playing her cards the way she is. I wonder if this was the first time she's deliberately sabotaged my teammates. Well, regardless... it looks like Idaho's going home tonight, even though that probably wasn't his fault. I feel sorry for the big guy."

Washington

**6:54 PM.**

"Hurry it up!" Chris yelled, beckoning the seven members of Team Victory out of their bus. A waning crescent moon began to dip below the horizon. "We're on a tight schedule, kids. I can feel them converging around me as I speak."

Hawaii rolled his eyes at Chris's paranoia, and sat down on the pavement with the rest of his teammates. Chris looked around them again. Team Victory's bus had evidently parked in the middle of a deserted parking lot outside Charleston. Chris looked at a long list, and shook his head slightly, eyes bulging.

"We're gonna do this fast this time, since I'm not sure how much time I have left... when I call your name, blah-blah-blah, no snacks today because I am currently a wanted man... there. Here we go. Arizona, Hawaii, New Mexico, Washington, California, and Oregon. Blah-blah-blah, you're all safe, California and Oregon, you both got one vote."

Idaho was the only person whose name wasn't called. "Wait... what?" he stammered.

"You got five votes, Idaho. Beat it."

"I... it was an accident, I swear-"

Chris checked his watch again. "I'm not gonna ask you again. Go home. Your time on Team Victory is up. You didn't talk much, anyways, and I am _ONE HUNDRED_ percent sure you faked your skateboarding audition tape."

Idaho was about to say something, but was interrupted just at the last moment.

He was interrupted by a helicopter.

"_Christian 'Chris' McLean!_" a voice on a loudspeaker cried. Approaching police sirens were wailing. "_You are wanted for the kidnapping and attempted assault of thirty-seven minors! Hands in the air!_"

Chris squinted up at the helicopter. A bright spotlight was on him. The members of Team Victory began backing away slowly. "What?!" he screamed. "You're got to be _kidding_ me! This is _MY SHOW!_"

"Not anymore, it isn't!"

An elaborately-dressed woman in a bright red dress stepped out of a limousine as half a dozen police cars began converging around Chris and the now six members of Team Victory. California screamed, and began yelling something about her innocence to never trying drugs. The woman, whipping off the shades to reveal a bright smile, exposed herself to be none other than Blaineley.

"_Blaineley?_"

"That's right!" she shouted, waving her arms dramatically at the scene. Armed police officers began surrounding Chris, who had his hands in the air. "I declare you," Blaineley yelled with unnecessary flourish, "Chris McLean, to be _banished_ from hosting this show!"

"This is _my_ show! Hey, hands off! You can't do this!"

"Not anymore, it isn't! I, Blaineley O'Halloran, am now the new host of Total Drama... which one is this, again?"

"The Fifty State Roadtrip. Bitch."

Blaineley cheered, and began waving her hands around a lot, impeded by the snugness of her dress. "Total Drama _The Fifty State Roadtrip!_" she squealed. "You, Chris McLean, are _fired__!_"

Chris rolled his eyes as his hands were rather forcefully handcuffed together. "This is so stupid..." he muttered. "Hey, Blaineley? You suck at being dramatic."

She gasped exaggeratedly. "I am _shocked!_" she cried, hand on her heart. "I hope _prison_ beats some manners into that mouth of yours, Chris!"_  
_

"I was being _nice_ about letting you be a judge during that once fashion challenge, anyway! Since you were in such a _high need_ of a job. When you called me, hah, you were outright sob-"_  
_

"And that's all the time we have today!" Blaineley decided, looking straight at the cameras that were now focused right on her. "What will happen next time on Total Drama The Fifty State Roadtrip?" she asked. "Find out with your brand new host... me!"

She began screaming with laughter. A few members of Team Victory inched away from her. "See you next time!" she cried, waving at Chris as he was shoved into the back of a South Carolina police cruiser. "Hope the tabloids go easy on you!"

**END OF ACT 1**

******ELIMINATED:** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, and Idaho.

**aspiringAnimator -** And so ends Act 1. Yes, this is being split up into four separate acts, with an intermission in between each. I decided so. I waved my wand, and it was done. Even though magic continues to be fake, despite my best wishes every day.

So. What do you guys think of the story so far? Is the writing good? Do you think there are some characters that need more fleshing out? Wait, what am I saying, of course there are. A character like Maryland has had like two lines during this entire story so far. Hey, I'm working with like thirty-six characters here.

If you're disappointed your state has already been voted off... I dunno what to tell you. All of the eliminations have been planned for months before now. I rarely make exceptions. If it makes you feel any better, I think Florida and Alaska were originally supposed to be finalists.

Anyway! Review! Follow! Favorite! It helps a lot, believe it or not. I've been happy with how well this story's been received so far, and I'm eager to write more.


	16. Aftermath 1

**AFTERMATH TEAMS**

**Supporting Team Touchdown** - Idaho, Missouri, and Wisconsin.

**Supporting Team Democracy** - Minnesota, Rhode Island, and Vermont.

**Supporting Team Victory** - Alaska, Florida, and Nevada.

**Supporting Team Dakota** - Iowa, Montana, and Wyoming.

**Supporting Team America** - South Carolina and West Virginia.

**BEGINNING OF INTERMISSION 1**

**EPISODE 15: AFTERMATH 1**

_"__Don't trust Ohio." - Michigan_

**Sunday, August 24th, 2014. Toronto, Canada. 6:00 PM.**

"Welcome... to first 'The Fifty State Roadtrip' Aftermath!"

A crowd cheers. Blaineley smiled widely as she stood on stage and held a microphone. "I," she began with flourish, "am the _new host_ on the actual show! But first... let's meet our losers!"

More cheering. Blaineley waved her arms around a lot while giggling ecstatically, and then pointed at the curtain on the left. Wyoming, dressed in a decent looking tuxedo, appeared, waving nervously at the crowd.

"Welcome to the Aftermath, Wyoming! _You_ made _history_ a month and a half ago as the _first person_ to get voted off! In fact, as far as everyone knows, you never even got to say anything, you were kicked out so fast! What do you have to say about that?"

Wyoming fumbled for the microphone, and quickly muttered, "Well, um... I don't know. From what I've seen on the show so far, I'm a little glad I didn't have to go through what some of these guys are doing."

"I know right!" Blaineley screamed, and the audience laughed on cue. "Well, Wyoming," she said, grinning a little more, "take your seat in the peanut gallery, because you've got a few of your friends arriving! Bring out: the beautiful, the blonde, and the sensitive to excessive heat: _Alaskaaa!_"

Alaska walked on stage, waving silently at the audience and wearing a heavy white jacket. "Evening," she said into the microphone. "It's interesting to be here tonight."

"So, Alaska," Blaineley stated, looking her in the eyes. "What _happened_ during your time on the show? Why was your blunder such an incredibly terrible one?"

"Well," Alaska began, sweeping her long blonde hair out of her eyes, "it was just the climate, I suppose. Honestly, I was expecting this season to be filmed up in Canada, like all the other Total Drama seasons."

"You were wrong!" Blaineley cried, giggling hysterically. "Go take a seat. Up next is a small town girl, thrown right into the heart of a big game. Give it up for Missouri!"

The audience applauded, as Missouri walked on stage wearing a cheap looking pink dress. "Hey, y'all," she said. Blaineley suppressed a laugh at Missouri's accent, and quickly said, "So. How does it feel to have been the first person voted off of Team Touchdown? You had quite the voting ceremony!"

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_1_mp3**

_"Sorry, Missouri!" Chris then declared. "You got the five votes. Your taxi awaits you. I think you have a long... long drive home."_

_Missouri turned around to face her team. There were tears in her eyes, but she stood strong. "Why?" she asked them. "What did I do to deserve this? I've been... I've been nice to every single one of you."_

Missouri winced as the clip from the show played. "Ummm..." she said slowly, after it finished, fidgeting slightly. "I dunno... I just kinda thought I'd last a little longer than three episodes..."

"Wrong again!" Blaineley squealed, clapping her hands together. "Now go take a seat. Coming right at us, as the fans call it, is the dear, voted-off member of the Romeo and Juliet pairing early in the season: otherwise known as Rhode Island! Come on stage!"

Rhode Island, with her bushy red hair and wide smile, walked on stage to meet Blaineley. "Hi," she stammered.

"So. Connecticut, am I right? Your short-lived relationship with him sent the fans _wild_ as people were scrambling to take note of the very first couple on the show so far. Unfortunately, you were voted off that very same episode! The comparison to the ill-fated Romeo and Juliet is remarkable. Any thoughts?"

"Ummm... I don't know about that, really," she slowly said with care. "I mean, he's nice and all, but I've kind of... put him out of my mind since I was voted off. It's actually been kind of painful to watch him still missing me in some of the more recent episodes..."

Blaineley gasped dramatically, and faced the audience. "Did you people hear that?" she said with overt flourish. "Rhode Island has completely _forgotten_ about Connecticut! On _multiple_ occasions he wished you could come back into the game."

Rhode Island shifted around uncomfortably. After a lengthy pause in which there was no response, Blaineley sighed, and pointed at the benches. "Pop a seat down there, Rhode," she said. "Up next is the second contestant voted off of Team Victory. Say hello to Montana!"

Montana walked up without a smile. She was wearing plain, every-day clothing. "Yep," was all she said.

"So Montana. Before coming here, you've told us that you're currently rooting for Team Dakota, instead of your own team. Interesting move, but why?"

"Well," Montana began, looking thoughtful. "Team Victory is going to lose. That's why. Everyone on it's too soft. I'm supporting Team Dakota, because I'm pretty certain that North Dakota is going to easily take this game."

"Interesting!" Blaineley commented, giving the audience a wink. "Well, sit down in the peanut gallery with your friends, and we'll talk more about that later, because Iowa's coming up next! Come on out, Iowa!"

Iowa grinned shyly, and walked onstage, wearing a suit that seemed a size too small for him. "Hello," he stammered, walking up to the ever-intimidating Blaineley.

"So, Iowa! You've garnered yourself an unexpected fan base after you revealed a few weeks ago that Justin Bieber is your cousin. Do you have anything to say about this?"

"Well, um, actually, he's a second cousin once removed, not a first cousin. I haven't even met him."

"That's boring. Go sit down, Iowa, so we can get on with the next loser. Come on out, Vermont!"

Vermont walked on stage, wearing a tuxedo and waving. He did not say anything. "So," Blaineley began, looking keen to keep this moving. "Rumors have it that you're mute to all but your best friends. Is this true?"

He did not say anything.

"Moving on. In the very episode that you were voted off, Massachusetts, one of the most-liked contestants on the show so far, revealed he was somewhat attracted to you. Fans went wild ten minutes later into the episode when you were voted off. How did this make you feel? And do you reciprocate Massachusetts's feelings?"

He did not say anything. Blaineley rubbed her eyes, and merely pointed towards at the other losers on the bench. "Just go sit down, mutey," she said huffily. "Let's bring out our favorite stalker-ginger combo: West Virginia!"

West Virginia, smiling widely, walked on stage to greet Blaineley. "Hi, Blaineley!" he chimed. Blaineley gave him a pat on the head, and lied, "It's so good to meet you! So. Let's talk about _Virginia_."

"Oh!" West Virginia yelped. "No, don't worry, I've thought a _lot_ about it these past few weeks, and I've decided."

"On... what?"

"I forgive her for voting for me! _HEH!_" he declared, smiling widely. Blaineley appeared confused. "I... don't think she regretted that," she said slowly.

"No, it's better now!" West Virginia insisted. "I know _so_ much more about her than I used to! She was born and raised in Richmond, Virginia, has one little brother, attended-"

"Okay, that's enough, West Virginia," Blaineley decided, pushing him away in the face cheerily. "I'd love for you to talk more, but we've got more contestants to meet! Come out, Nevada!"

Nevada, wearing a beautiful orange dress to match her hair, waved as she walked onstage, smiling brightly. "Good evening, Blaineley!" she stated elegantly, approaching the microphone. "It's good to be here."

"Likewise!" Blaineley responded. "So how are you liking your time off the show so far? Is there anything you missed?" Nevada thought about that one for a few moments. "Traveling all over the country," she decided after a pause. "That was pretty interesting. Other than that... I'm not sure. It was a lot of work for, as Washington said, a two percent chance at winning a million dollars."

"Very observant, Nevada!" Blaineley commented with a wide grin. "Take a seat. Our next loser is Wisconsin, hailing for the prestigious Team America. Say hi, Wisconsin!"

Wisconsin walked on stage, wearing a suit and tie. "Hi," he said, extending a friendly hand to Blaineley, who inched away somewhat noticeably. "Anyway!" she yelled into the microphone. "After he was voted off, Wisconsin has made ripples in the online community by starting his very own gaming channel on Youtube. How do you react to this recent popularity, Wisconsin?"

"Um. I dunno. I had like twenty thousand followers on Twitter when I got home after getting voted off, so I tweeted that I'd start a Youtube channel, and... it was pretty easy."

"Fascinating!" Blaineley lied again. "Head on down to the peanut gallery with your friends so I can introduce the last few losers. Up next is the immensely popular Florida, and the very first person to oppose Team Touchdown! Come on up!"

Florida walked on stage, wearing jeans and a comfortable-looking jacket. "Hey," she merely said.

"You sparked absolute rage from a few of the fans from the South when you mentioned your opposition towards your team, and congratulations from everyone else. Here's a clip."

"Oh boy."

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_2_mp3**

_"What was that, Florida?"_

_..._

_"I said I doubt it. Do you even have your driver's license yet? And for that matter, your boater's license? These things aren't toys, or race cars, no matter what you think."_

_..._

_"Heheheh... Florida? I don't think you really know what you're talkin' 'bout. Why don't you go sit down with the other girls?"_

Florida seemed unimpressed by Blaineley's tactic to get her stirred up. "Is that it?" she asked dully.

"Well, fans were really curious to hear your side, especially after you got voted off in the eleventh episode!"

"My side? Well, Alabama and Texas are two over-controlling, hillbilly-sounding dudes in a team full of seven girls. And Arkansas."

"Oooh!" Blaineley squealed, clapping her hands together ecstatically. "Funny you should mention Arkansas. Rumors have been spreading... that you may have a _thing_ for him."

The audience gasped, and held their breath. Florida crossed her arms, annoyed, and spoke. "Arkansas is the most tolerable guy on that team," she merely stated. "I wasn't impressed with the tiny amount of camera time he got. It seemed like for the entire show so far, all the cameras were pointed right at those two rednecks and the girlfriend. I'd spoken to a few of the other girls on Team Touchdown, and they felt the same way."

Gasps filled the rooms. "Draaamaaa!" Blaineley gasped. "Florida, we can continue this once we've finished introducing everyone else! For now, let's bring out a current fan favorite: Minnesota!"

Minnesota, wearing an elegant light blue dress, walked on stage, grinning at Blaineley, who gave her a sympathetic pat on the arm. "You had quite the elimination ceremony, Minnesota!" Blaineley started off. "Not only did you garner enough of your team's support to actually almost succeed in voting North Dakota off, but in a shocking turn of events, it ended up that North Dakota set you up all along! How've you fared since such a dramatic episode?"

"Well," Minnesota began, looking thoughtfully into the audience. "I've only been home for about a week so far, but it's a nice change of pace. I'm just really hoping Nebraska can finish what I started. We were so close at taking her out, too."

"Indeed," Blaineley agreed, nodding her head solemnly. "It was definitely an episode to remember. We'll talk more about it later. Take your seat, Minnesota, because here comes South Carolina! Come on out!"

South Carolina walked on stage, smiling brightly and wearing an attractive dress. "So, South Carolina," Blaineley began seriously. "How did you feel when you discovered Texas, Alabama, and Mississippi all voted for you to avoid getting voted off themselves?"

"That's what happened?" South Carolina said bluntly, blinking. "I... wait, really?"

Blaineley, hungry for an outburst, loudly said into her microphone, "Yes! People did not just randomly vote for you, South Carolina. It was an act of treachery, indeed. In fact, that episode is airing tonight, people! Catch it tonight at 8 PM EST, or 7 PM CST on CampTV! Spoilers are ahead in this show for the two episodes to follow."

South Carolina awkwardly joined the other dozen contestants in the peanut gallery after Blaineley waved her away. "Lastly," Blaineley declared into her microphone, "we have Idaho, who was voted off just last Wednesday! Say hi, Idaho!"

The big guy came on stage, wearing a handsome tuxedo and a small smile. "Good evening. It's a pleasure to be here," he stammered into the microphone.

"So. Idaho. Just _how_ does it feel to have been voted off for something that wasn't even your fault? I suppose you're feeling quite the animosity towards Miss Dakota!"

"Um... yeah, kinda. It could've been anyone from our team... I just hope they all don't hate me. I never really made any friends."

The audience went "Awww" right on cue. Blaineley patted him on the head, feigning sympathy, and pointed towards the thirteen other losers at the benches. "Take a seat, Idaho, so we can begin with tonight's Aftermath!" she said. Blaineley then faced the audience with a wide, wide smile. "The thirty-six real contestants have been given a free day today!" she shouted. "But what they _don't_ know... is that someone is being voted off tonight. And these fourteen losers are going to pick which team's going to the voting ceremony. Sound like fun?"

The fourteen losers so far looked impressed, and cheered. Blaineley smiled evilly. "But before we can get into all that," she announced, "we've got to begin the recap. From the very beginning, this season seems to be completely full of drama. In the first few episodes, we got to meet our fifty contestants and see a glimpse of the incredible journey they were about to make. In fact, if Chris - er, I mean, if _I_ stay on schedule, we should be done by Christmas!"

The audience applauded for no very clear reason. Blaineley bowed, and smiled widely at the cameras. "But enough of that. Fans have been absolutely _clamoring_ over a montage of West Virginia moments. So, without further ado: let the clip roll!"

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_3_mp3**

_"I'm West Virginia! And you... must be Virginia!"_

_He had immediately turned on the girl beside him, who stepped back instinctively. "Uh," she said slowly. "Do I know you?"_

_West Virginia shook his head quickly. "Oh, no! No. I looked you up online, though, right when I found out you were gonna be my partner! I didn't know you lived in Richmond! HEH! I've been there before!"_

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_4_mp3**

_West Virginia revolved on the spot to face Virginia with an off-putting smile. "Oh, right here!" he exclaimed, and unveiled the bristled utensil from somewhere in the depths of his pants. "I just wanted to make sure it was safe while you were asleep, since we're partners and all. HEH! Here you go!"_

_Virginia stepped back from West Virginia, and stared at the toothbrush uncomfortably. "Uhhh..." she slowly began, clearly unnerved. "Okay... West Virginia? You need to cool it, string bean."_

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_5_mp3**

_"West Virginia!" Virginia yelled one morning. "Little man. Stop it. You don't need to disinfect my bed."_

_The red headed kid looked up, evidently surprised. "Oh! Hi, Virginia! Good morning! Don't worry, this is non-toxic disinfectant! For you, anyways. HEH!"_

_Virginia glared at him. "I'mma count to five, and you'd better be outta this room or I swear I'll kick you right off this bus."_

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_6_mp3**

_"Oh, my - WEST VIRGINIA? WHAT ARE YOU DOING."_

_"Oh! HEH! Um... I... was just passing by! Don't worry-"_

_"No... no. You're coming with me."_

_"HEH! Sounds like fun! Where - ow, ow. Don't - ow - You don't have to drag by by the ea - OW"_

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_7_mp3**

_West Virginia glanced around. "Where's mine?"_

_"Yours is in the loser wagon!" Chris shouted, pointing at a waiting taxi. "You got four votes, dude. Beat it." West Virginia's eyes began to water up. "But what did I do?" he cried, waving his arms around as he stood. "I - I tried so hard - I just can't have been the first person voted off this team - who voted for me?"_

_Chris glanced around. "You want me to tell you?"_

_"Y - yes..."_

_Chris looked at his notepad as a few of the contestants sitting on the pavement's eyes grew wide with terror. "Uhhh, I guess I can bend the rules for this. Illinois, Kentucky, North Carolina, and Virginia voted-"_

_"Virginia?" West Virginia asked incredulously, apparently fighting back the tears still. "I... why? I tried s - so hard - to be nice, and... and you voted for me?"_

The clip shut off after that. West Virginia was looking particularly bashful at the moment. "So, West Virginia," Blaineley began, turning to the boy. "You garnered a _lot_ of attention for yourself for the few episodes that you were on the show! What happened, sweetheart?"_  
_

"Um..." West Virginia stammered, looking at his thumbs. "Well... I guess I... came on too... strong? Maybe... Virginia somehow thought I was annoying or something, _HEH!_ I'm not sure how, though."

"It's a mystery!" Blaineley loudly spoke into the microphone. "One we may never solve. It's a shame, though! I was secretly rooting for you. You're just so cute!"

She then pinched his cheeks, as he attempted to twist away from her. Blaineley bared her teeth, and slowly said, "So. _Cute._"

"Um, yeah, well," West Virginia said, ducking away from Blaineley. "My, uh, heart's with Virginia! _HEH!_ Can we... um... switch to the next person?"

"Of _course!_" Blaineley screamed, and sent West Virginia back to the benches. "In fact, I was _really_ wanting to talk more with Minnesota and her struggles with North Dakota! Come on up, Minnesota."

Minnesota obliged, standing up from the bench, and approaching Blaineley. "Well... it's a long story, Blaineley," Minnesota slowly admitted. "One that begins from the very first few episodes."

"Oooh!" Blaineley squealed, clapping her hands together. "The cameras never showed it, then! Do go on."

"Well... it was right around episode six," Minnesota began, looking thoughtful. "The camping episode. North Dakota made us lose by her absolutely terrible leadership. So... I voted for her. I was the only person who voted for her, apart from the guy who got kicked off that night. North Dakota... flew into an outrage, and vowed to find whoever did it. For my safety, it wasn't until episode ten that I revealed myself. By that time, I had gotten Nebraska on my side."

"You mentioned Nebraska earlier!" Blaineley commented. "So you really think he might be able to carry out what you started? Rebellion, and whatnot?"

"Well... _maybe_," Minnesota said with a sigh. "We were so close the night I got voted off. But North Dakota cheated! She-"

"Oh, yes!" Blaineley squealed. "What a _smashing_ voting ceremony that was. In fact, we've got the clip right here!"

Minnesota went white as a ghost. "Um, no, that won't be necessary," she stammered, "It was kind of embarrassing, and-"

"Roll it!"

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_8_mp3**

_"Minnesota? Why exactly do you have a phone in your pocket?"_

_North Dakota smirked, and crossed her arms, intrigued. "Yeah, Minnesota!" she said with exaggerated shock. "Don't you know you're not supposed to have phones on this show?"_

_"I - what - how did this even get here - this isn't mine!"_

_Chris took the phone out of Minnesota's hand. On the small screen, a timer blinked 0:00, with the caption "L8R, LOSER." He showed Minnesota the phone. "This isn't your phone?"_

_"Well - I mean, it is - but I gave it back, I swear - wait-"_

_"Sorry, Minnesota!" Chris said, glancing at his watch once again. "You are disqualified! Head to the cab of losers right over there-"_

_"THAT BITCH!"_

Minnesota was covering her face with her hands briefly. Once the clip was over, she revealed her face, which was looking more than a little embarrassed. Blaineley was feigning being stunned. "What an outburst!" Blaineley cried to the audience. "You were _very_ upset!"

"Well... yeah," Minnesota mumbled, looking at the floor. "I... don't really want to talk about it. What's done is done, and I have a feeling that North Dakota will get what she deserves in the end."

"So noble!" Blaineley gasped. "Well, I think that's all the time we have for you. We need to get on with the most important section of the Aftermath: the debate section! Here's how this will work."

"Each of the fourteen losers so far have already divided up into five teams, based on who they're supporting. We will then launch into a debate, which basically means everyone will be arguing with each other for fifteen minutes. Sound like fun?"

The losers cheered from the peanut gallery. Blaineley then pointed at five podiums at the front of the stage, and yelled, "Send out your best person for each team, and we can get this _staaarted!_"

For Team America, South Carolina stepped up to the plate. Montana was representing Team Dakota, Florida for Team Victory, Rhode Island for Team Democracy, and Missouri for Team Touchdown. "Missouri, you get to start with the opening statements!" Blaineley decided.

"Right. Well. Hi, y'all. My name's, uh, not Missouri, but I'll just keep goin' 'long with it for now. Um, the reason I still support my team is because... um... they're a bunch of good folk, and there ain't anybody bad on that team, far as I know-"

"I'd like to make a counter to that statement," Florida suddenly said, raising her hand for Team Victory. Blaineley shrugged, and permitted it. "Team Touchdown," Florida began, "is the most self-centered band of illiterates that I've ever had the misfortune to be teamed up with. Not only did they vote me off for disagreeing with them once, but they have racist and homophobic tendencies as well."

"Oh!" Blaineley yelped, looking at the cameras. "Well, I'm going to have to stop you there, Florida, because we need to stay politically correct on this show. Um... Rhode Island, how about you say a word in Team Democracy's favor?"

Rhode Island went a little pale at that, but spoke regardless. "Um... she mumbled quietly into her microphone. "Well, I support Team Democracy, because for the time that I was on the team, it was generally pretty nice... Maine and Pennsylvania were pretty nice to me on the show, and so was Massachusetts, and Connecticut, I guess. I just don't think they're really worthy of getting picked for the voting ceremony. I think Team Dakota would be better suited for that."

"Oooh!" Blaineley interjected suddenly. "Montana, care to make a rebuttal?"

"My pleasure," Montana stated, looking grim. "Friends, North Dakota is the most powerful contestant on the show so far. In the event that Team Dakota was to go to the chopping block tonight, we all know that North Dakota would _not_ be voted off. And I support her. So far, she's the only character _on_ this show with any backbone, and a determination to do what's best for her team-"

"Objection!" South Carolina suddenly yelled. Blaineley pointed at her, and let South Carolina speak. "You say that she does what's best for her team," South Carolina slowly said. "But I've watched a few episodes since I was voted off a week or two ago, and in the, uh, Mall of America challenge, she almost loses the game because she was buying things selfishly. That's not teamwork. That's a dictatorship."

"Well, maybe a dictatorship is what's effective!" Montana snapped back. "Right now, I'm trying to figure out why you're supporting Team America, or why anyone would, for that matter. That team's stupidity almost matches Team Touchdown's. Either everyone's busy worrying about themselves because there's no leader on that team, or they're listening to Michigan and Ohio bicker all the time. That team needs to go."

There was a brief pause. And then Rhode Island slowly nodded her head. "I... kinda agree," she slowly said, looking at the floor. "That team has too much arguing in it. If that keeps up... there's no way that team can last past the merge. I think Team America should go down."

"Now, hold on a minute!" West Virginia interjected, panicked, when Blaineley held a finger at the kid. "Tut, tut, West Virginia!" she scolded. "You're not up on the podium."

"No! We need Team America!" South Carolina insisted, nearly knocking her podium over in her frenzy. "My _sister's_ on that team, and I am rooting for _her!_"

Missouri, after a long period in which she pondered the dilemma, ended up agreeing with Montana. "Yeah..." she slowly stated, "Apart from Team Dakota, Team 'merica is real argumentative. Nobody's friends in that team, if you hadn't noticed-"

"North Carolina and Indiana are friends!" South Carolina whined, rocking back and forth on her feet. "They get along! And... and Ohio and Virginia!"

"...that's it?" Florida slowly said in disbelief. "Okay, wow, you can only think of four people max who are friends. I don't support my old team, Touchdown, in any way, but at least most people on that team were friends. But to have a team like America where nobody likes each other is crazy."

"But... wait," Rhode Island interjected. "I think we're forgetting who the real enemy is here. North Dakota. She's obviously the craziest person on the show. I think it's important that we don't forget about her."

"_Yes!_" South Dakota screamed, pointing at Rhode Island. "_Thank you_, Rhode Island! She's right. North Dakota is a menace to her team and to the entire show."

"At least she's not spineless like Team America!" Montana countered. "Which is why _Team America_ needs to fall."

Blaineley jumped up, and announced, "It seems we've come to a division of two possible team to vote off tonight! Team Dakota and Team America. For those of you voting for Team Dakota, raise your hands!"

Rhode Island and Montana both raised their hands. Florida looked indecisive, while Montana glared at them.

"For those of you voting for Team _America_, raise _your_ hands!"

Montana and Missouri raised their hands. After a long pause, Florida finally consented, raising her hand.

"Then we have come to a conclusion! Team America is going to the voting ceremony tonight, and you get to watch it here live!" Blaineley declared, pointing at the huge television screen. "As of now, the eight members of Team America are being notified of their loss. Let's switch to the bus camera!"

**6:34 PM.**

Five buses sat in the parking lot of a huge theater, though outside the theater, there was little commotion. Inside Team America's bus, the eight occupants listened at the tiny radio in the bus's front cabin.

"_Then we have come to a conclusion! Team America is going to the voting ceremony tonight, and you get to watch it here live! As of now, the eight members of Team America are being notified of their loss. Let's switch to the bus camera!_"

Virginia groaned, and rubbed her forehead. "Can't they give us a _break?_" she muttered. "This team has been through _enough_ as it is. They need to just... leave us alone, I guess."

"Yeah..." Michigan mumbled, looking down at the floor. Ohio eyed him cautiously.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_62_mp3**

"Okay. I am _positive_ that Michigan is plotting against me. I'm sure of it. But I can't let him get me down, oh, no. I've got friends on this team, and I think they'll be glad to help me out here. Let's see... Virginia's a big ally. I could convince Indiana and North Carolina to help me out here. I'll promise them immunity later on or something. And... okay, look, guys. I'm not the bad guy here. It's just... _Michigan is the bad guy!_ Isn't it _obvious?_ I mean, the entire way he's acted is detrimental to our team. I mean... nobody else has really commented on it other than me, but... I don't know. I just don't _like_ him. I don't know why."

Ohio

**6:57 PM.**

Eight teenagers sat in the middle of a parking lot in a semi circle, as Blaineley shuffled her way towards them in her elaborate red dress. "Hiii!" she squealed. "Isn't it great to _be here?_"

"I can think of a _few_ places I'd rather be than at a voting ceremony," Indiana remarked. Blaineley glared at her, but proceeded nonetheless. "Well, are the votes in?" she asked, when an intern handed her a large wooden box. "Oh, good. Now. Since Chris is... _gone_, the producers have decided that those terrible old snacks you guys used to get weren't up to Total Drama standards! And also, we got a few copyright violations by displaying the brand names on international television. So... we're using marshmallows again! Just like old times!"

She produced a bag filled with seven marshmallows, and grinned maliciously at the contestants. "How exciting!" she squealed again.

Nobody said anything. There were nervous glances between Michigan and Ohio; a few of the team members seemed to have figured out what was going to happen tonight.

"Okay, I guess you guys aren't that into being cheered up as I am. That's fine! I'll start with the marshmallow-giving. Illinois! You got zero votes, and one marshmallow. Here you go!"

The fluffy, squishy snack was thrown right at his forehead, and bounced off onto the ground. He did not seem to react much to it.

"Indiana! Zero votes. You are just _so cute._"

Indiana scowled at the new host. "And you are just _so_ making me wish Chris was back, and that's saying something," she retorted. Blaineley looked mildly offended, but carried on regardless. "Maryland! No votes, dear."

Maryland caught her marshmallow gratefully. Blaineley smiled sweetly. "Last two. North Carolina and Virginia. No votes for either of you!"

Marshmallows were thrown. There were only three contestants remaining now: Ohio, Kentucky, and Michigan. Blaineley attempted looking seriously at them, as the cameras zoomed in to see the reactions on the three contestants' faces. "You three all got at least one vote!" she declared, waving her arm "dramatically" at the three. "The penultimate marshmallow goes... to..."

...

...

...

"Kentucky! One vote!"

Kentucky caught the marshmallow gratefully, as at least a thousand fans gasped around the world. It was happening. The showdown between Ohio and Michigan. This moment had been predicted in fan fiction long before now. Blaineley looked smugly at the team's reaction to this startling revelation. "One of you got three votes!" she announced. "And the other... got four. It seems, Ohio and Michigan, that a few of your fellow teammates have come to your aid. But which ones? And how many? Well... the final marshmallow goes to..."

...

...

...

...

...

"...Ohio!"

"_Yes!_" Ohio yelled out loud, letting the marshmallow fall to the pavement behind him. "Ohhh, _yes!_ Haha!"

Michigan just had his eyes closed. Blaineley attempted looking sympathetic, and pointed towards the bus. "Your stuff's in there, Michigan!" she told him. "Best get to it. Any final words?"

Michigan thought for a moment. And then he spoke.

"I'm not particularly sure why I'm being voted off tonight. That's not because I don't care. I do. But this team is going down."

There was a dead silence as he looked intently at his seven ex-teammates.

"I don't say that because I dislike this team or anything. I believe we could've had something a lot better than whatever it is now. But this team isn't going to even make it to the merge like this. I really wish I could've stayed on to help us. To push us a little further. But, obviously, that's not going to happen."

He sighed, and was about to retreat into the bus, before he added one more comment. "One more thing," he said slowly.

"_Don't trust Ohio._"

Those three words resonated into the early Toronto evening. A few people looked worried. North Carolina was looking like she regretted her decision. A few moments later, Michigan appeared from the bus, with his rather large duffel bag in tote. "Well, looks like I'm off," he said, looking towards the taxi in the distance. "A handshake, Ohio?"

Michigan extended a hand towards Ohio, who still sat on the pavement below. There was a pause. Ohio didn't accept.

"Right..." Michigan muttered, and headed towards the cab. "Bye for now."

As Michigan walked off into the distance, Blaineley looked visibly disappointed. "Oh, poo," she mumbled. "I was hoping there'd be a lot more screaming than that. Well, no matter, because there's plenty more drama in store for whatever show this is. I'm Blaineley! Check back on CampTV Wednesdays and weekends at 8/7 central for the good stuff!"

**END OF INTERMISSION 1**

******ELIMINATED:** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, and Michigan.

**aspiringAnimator** - And that was the Aftermath! Second-longest chapter yet, to boot. I'd been looking forward to this episode for a while now. I should say something first, though. Michigan was always planned to be voted off this episode. In the first draft, when I was planning all this out in late June, it was supposed to be really random, because he didn't know anybody and didn't dislike Ohio. But this sort of sub-plot involving him and Ohio kind of got bigger than I was expecting! So I'm expanding onto Ohio's character a _lot_ in Act 2. A lot of things are going to happen next Act! I'm pretty excited. And don't worry, Michigan shows up in the next Aftermath chapter.

Favorite, follow, review, _whatever_ makes you happy. Whatever makes you happy makes me happy! And a happy aspiringAnimator means more chapters on schedule, which I have successfully stuck to for a month and a half now. To be honest, I thought I wouldn't make it past episode nine! But I'm glad I have.


	17. The United States of Blaineley

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, North Carolina, Ohio, and Virginia.

**BEGINNING OF ACT 2**

**EPISODE 16: THE UNITED STATES OF BLAINELEY**

_"__YOU?" - Oregon_

**Wednesday, August 27th, 2014. Grand Rapids, Michigan. 7:58 AM.**

There were now thirty-five contestants left on the show. Fifteen had already been voted off. By now, it was late August. Most of the contestants were supposed to be in school by now, but obviously were too busy being on national television for petty things like high school.

"Alright, guys!" Ohio yelled to his bus, clapping his hands. It was early in the morning for most people. North Carolina, who was making cereal, glanced over at Ohio with an annoyed expression.

"It's challenge day, guys. Today is our day to get our heads in the game. From here on out, we _win!_"

There were only a few people in the living quarters of the bus. Most other people were in their bunk beds still. When he realized his grand speech wasn't making any waves, Ohio began to scowl.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_63_mp3**

"Okay. Now that Michigan is gone, everything should be good now. I mean... I _won_. He's out of the game. So, if everything's smooth sailing from here on out... then why am I having such a hard time leading my own team? There's no more arguing. No more... Michigan telling me what to do. So why isn't anybody _listening_ to me?"_  
_

Ohio

**9:26 AM.**

Most of Team Democracy's bus's occupants had gradually woken up as the day went on. By nine o'clock, Massachusetts, New York, Connecticut and Maine were all squeezed on the couch watching the news.

"Wow..." Maine murmured, watching the broadcast. "I can't believe we're on national television."

The news of Chris's arrest had finally broken into the media. News stories were aflutter about his "dramatic standoff" with the local South Carolina police department, and Blaineley. In fact, The Fifty State Roadtrip had become one of the most talked about shows since Breaking Bad.

"Hey! That's me!" New York yelled, pointing at the television, which depicted a photograph of Team Democracy making sand castles. New York was standing with his mouth open, eyes glaring, and pointing angrily at Connecticut and Massachusetts. Massachusetts laughed at the image. "Wow. Man, now I _really_ want to get on the internet. I wanna know what people back home are saying about me."

"Hey... where _are_ you from, Massachusetts?" Connecticut suddenly asked. Massachusetts appeared confused.

"Uh. I'm from Massachusetts. That should've been obvio-"

"No, no, I mean... what city?"

"Oh. I never said? I'm from Boston."

"Cool," Connecticut murmured, looking off into the distance. "I've been to Boston a few times before. Many times, actually. I usually go there for Christmas-"

New Jersey suddenly walked into the room, glancing around. Apart from the four teens on the couch, Delaware and Pennsylvania were sitting at the tiny kitchen table, eating omelettes.

"Hey, Delaware," New Jersey smoothly said, pulling up a chair and giving a wink. "Are those scrambled eggs? You're a really good cook, you know that?"

Delaware slowly inched her head away from New Jersey, and muttered, "Um... no, Massachusetts made these... and they're omelettes..."

"Yeah, yeah, sure," New Jersey said, not paying any attention whatsoever to what she just said. "So, I couldn't help but notice... you've just got the most _beautiful__ eyes_..."

Delaware then began looking towards New York and Massachusetts on the couch, eyes pleading for help. New York jumped up, and quickly said, "Hey, New Jersey, I need your help in the bathroom. The window's jammed, and I need someone, uh... strong? To help me... fix it."

After a few seconds of no response, it was obvious that New Jersey hadn't heard New York at all. "Delaware..." New Jersey crooned, "your skin is just... so soft, and chocolaty... the - the color, I mean, not literal chocolate-"

"Okay, big guy, enough of that," New York quickly interrupted, and pulled New Jersey towards the back of the bus. "We've got a window to unjam."

"Wait, hold on, New York, I was just-"

"Nooo, you weren't. This way."

New York hastily dragged New Jersey towards his bunkroom, and shut the door. New Jersey was livid. "What the hell, dude?" he yelled, waving his arms around. "I was _moments_ away from gettin' Delaware to be into me." New York sighed, and rubbed his head, looking out the small, vibrating window of the bus. "No, you weren't," he interjected. "Delaware was uncomfortable. Everyone could tell. And... that's not really how you court someone. You're supposed to be-"

"Court her? I wasn't tryin' to _sue_ her or nothin'-"

"I - what? Not _that_ type of court - look, bud, the way you're hitting on pretty much _all of the girls on this team_ is embarrassing. I don't mean to be rude, but... if you want someone to like you, it's best not to be so forward about it."_  
_

New Jersey groaned, and rested his head against the wall, looking a little depressed. "So... what am I supposed to do?" he mumbled, looking blearily at New York. "Man, the 'way I hit on girls', or however you put it - that stuff just _worked_ on the girls back home. They ate _up_ that sh-"

"Well, these girls are different," New York affirmed, looking sternly at New Jersey. "It's smart of you to try and get fan support by demonstrating attraction towards 'em, but the way you do it just isn't effective. Also, by the way, stop hitting on Pennsylvania."

"Huh? Awww, man, dude, why? She's got this big bushy hair and she just looks so cu-"

"Because I said so. I'm sorry, bro. Just... lay off 'em for a while, alright? This has been going on for a long time."

New Jersey looked disappointed. "Yeah... yeah, okay, man... fine."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_64_mp3**

"Man, I don't even know what _happened_. What went wrong? Back home, I had girls all _over _me, yo. And now that I'm famous, I'll have even more! So why isn't Delaware diggin' it? This show doesn't make any sense."

New Jersey

**10:40 AM.**

The small city of Grand Rapids rose all around them. A bright August sun shone down over all of Michigan. The Wolverine State. Or, the Great Lakes State, but we're going with The Wolverine State because it sounds way cooler.

The five buses were parked on the edge of Veterans' Memorial Park in the heart of the city. A wide perimeter of metal barriers were up around the park; it seemed a few dozen fans had accumulated, cheering as the contestants climbed out.

"Wow..." California gasped, as she stepped out of Team Victory's bus. "It's almost like we're famous!"

A few pointed stares were directed her way, but most people seemed too occupied by the fans to pay her much attention. Before long, Blaineley appeared from Chris's limousine, waving the kids along.

"Yes, yes, you're all adored in the eyes of a million teenage girls. Fame is really quite exciting. Move it along! We've got challenges to do!"

The thirty-five contestants were all shuffled towards the center of the park, where a camera crew was set up. Blaineley smiled brightly, directing the kids to bunch up in the center.

"Um, excuse me..." Washington slowly said, "but what exactly is today's challenge?"

"Ohhh, I don't know," Blaineley said loudly, shrugging as she did so. "I thought we'd... just wing it today! It'll be fun!"

This was the first sign that things would be going downhill with this host. There were many more signs to come.

"Okay!" Blaineley announced, looking around at everyone. "Let's think of what we could do as a challenge... hmm."

A few moments went by, in which Blaineley simply stood there and tapped her cheek thoughtfully. "Oooh!" she squealed after some time. "I know! Okay... I'm gonna need all the teams but Team Touchdown to go back into the buses! We'll do these one at a time. It'll be _exciting!_"

Everyone hesitated for a few moments, and then receded back towards the bus, all except for the seven members of Team Touchdown. Blaineley beamed at them all, and as soon as everyone else was out of earshot, she declared, "You seven are going to... oh, I don't know... run around in a circle! That sounds like fun! Yes!"

...

Texas was about to protest, when Alabama nudged him slightly, and whispered, "Easy win, dude. Just roll with it."

"Yaaay!" Blaineley cheered, and pointed at the fountain in the center of the park. "Run around that a bunch of times! The fans will _love_ it."

The members of Team Touchdown did as they were told, sprinting around the fountain about a dozen times to please Blaineley. She squealed. She clapped her hands a lot, and jumped up and down. She did this all with the guarantee that the cameras were focused on her at all times, of course.

Finally, she snapped her fingers, and yelled, "Okay, that's enough, Team Touchdown! Go back to your bus."

**11:03 AM.**

"Bring out Team Victory!"

The few contestants that were left of that team trudged up to Blaineley. She frowned, and counted briefly. "There's only six of you?" she asked, dumbfounded. Before her, stood Hawaii, Oregon, California, Washington, Arizona, and New Mexico. The last two were holding hands. Blaineley then beamed at them all, and waved her hand like it didn't matter. "Ignore me," she said. "Your team's challenge... is... ummm..."

...

"I... guess... try to make me laugh! Oh, that'll be fun."

The contestants glanced at each other, slightly worried. "Uh... does anybody have any good jokes?" Washington asked slowly, looking around at his team with pleading eyes.

"I've got one," Hawaii sighed, and stepped up, approaching Blaineley. "What do priests and McDonald's have in common?"

...

"They both like to stick their meats in ten-year-old buns."

New Mexico burst into laughter, as did Oregon. A chuckle was even solicited from Arizona. However... Blaineley didn't seem too impressed. "Pedophilia and health violations _aren't_ a laughing matter, Hawaii," she scolded him. "Send someone up with a better joke."

Washington looked around at his teammates, and whispered, "Um... does anybody have any jokes that... Blaineley might like?"

New Mexico looked down at his girlfriend pleadingly, who shrugged. Suddenly, California stepped up. "I've got one," she stammered. "My daddy tells this one sometimes. Men go shopping to buy what they want, but women go shopping to find out what they want."

California let that sink in. It took about two exact seconds for the meaning of the joke to hit Blaineley. She giggled hysterically, and clapped her hands together, laughing wildly. "Okay, okay, that's a good one," she admitted, still shaking slightly with laughter. "You kids go on back and tell everyone to come outside. I'm ready for lunch."

**11:32 AM.**

"Whoa..." Texas muttered, looking at a delivery truck in the middle of the park labeled "Kelly's Catering, Grand Rapids, MI". Blaineley was speaking feverishly to the driver of the van, and waving her hands around a bunch. She suddenly noticed the contestants all standing there, and whipped around, smiling widely.

"Is that food for us?" Kentucky shouted, pointing at the tables of food. Blaineley looked confused. "The food? Ohhh, no, kids. No, no, no. This is for the interns and camera crew. Did you guys _seriously_ think we'd waste CampTV funds on you guys?"

There was a long, long silence. After there was no response, Blaineley put on a scowl, and turned towards the food.

There were no cameras pointed her way. She no longer needed to smile.

This was the second sign that things would be going downhill with this host.

"I like Chris a lot better..." Oregon whispered to Washington. "He was sadistic, and mean, but... always, you know... optimistic about it!"

"Kind of like yourself," Washington muttered back, and then hastily added, "Um, the optimistic part, not the creepy sadism part."

Oregon giggled, and covered his mouth when Blaineley turned her head to glance over at the contestants. "It's hot out here!" she snapped, and then pointed at Colorado and Kansas. "You two. Fan me."

"Uhhh... what?"

"Fan. Me."

It seemed Colorado and Kansas were rather used to orders from a higher authority, because the two of them immediately grabbed a few towels from the table and began fanning Blaineley as she ate a small salad. Everybody else was looking sadly at all the food, which the camera crew eagerly dug into. Blaineley grimaced at the contestants, and snarled, "What are you kids staring at? And fan faster, whatever your names are. We've got a ten minute lunch break, and my producer's on my ass again - _hey!_ Hands off the camera equipment, grubby."

One of the lower-ranking interns was attempting to inspect a camera, but set it right back on the fold-up table once Blaineley yelled at him. Blaineley, now satisfied, snapped, "One of you kids. Get a napkin and wipe my mouth. My makeup crew isn't here. Chop-chop."

After nobody immediately offered themselves up, Blaineley scowled further, and instead pointed a finger at Indiana. "You. Wipe my mouth."

"Ew. While I'd love to smear Bar-B-Que sauce all over your surely beautiful face, I think I'll pass."

"_What_ did you say to me?"

Blaineley stood up and faced Indiana within a blink of the eye. "Watch your tongue," she snarled at the sixteen-year-old. "This is _my_ show now, and I'll be damned before I let some kid tell me what to do."

Indiana rolled her eyes, and simply said, "Yeah. Impressive. I am literally peeing my pants right now in fear. I think I'm going back to the bus."

With that, Indiana simply turned around and walked back towards Team America's bus. Blaineley looked livid, and was likely about to grab Indiana's neck, when a fed camera-man yelled, "We're rolling, in five... four... three... two..."

Blaineley's outraged expression instantly morphed into a cheerful smile. "Welcome back from the break!" she announced to the camera with a painfully-wide grin. "Up next in these incredibly difficult challenges is Team America. Can they withstand the pressure? Let's find out!"

She then angrily mouthed to the contestants, "_Send everyone but Team America back to the buses!_" Everyone promptly hightailed it out of there except for Team America. "Where's the kid?" Blaineley yelled, looking towards the buses. "The sarcastic girl. From Team America. We need everyone."

Minutes later, Indiana was forced back outside. "What a pleasant surprise," she deadpanned at Blaineley.

"Okay, Team America," Blaineley said thoughtfully. "Let's have you seven... hmm... do some jumping jacks. Do five."

Exasperated glances were exchanged between the members, but everyone consented, doing the jumping jacks like this was some sort of bizarre fitness class in the park. Blaineley grinned smugly. "Okay!" she announced. "Now... bow!"

Everyone but Kentucky took a bow. "Um. Sweetheart?" Blaineley said, staring at him pointedly. "I'm gonna need you to bow for me, honey. It's part of the challenge."

"But I don't want to," Kentucky stated flatly, looking confusedly. Ohio glanced up at Kentucky, and tugged his arm. "Do it, dude," he whispered hurriedly. "It's just a bow. It's not the end of the world."

Indiana had also refused to bow. "This is stupid," she stated outright. "What was the real challenge? I'd love to have known what was really scheduled for the state of Michigan."

"That's none of your business!" Blaineley screamed. Her temper was clearly going through the roof. "Team America, _go back to your bus!_ I have _had_ it with just about _everyone_ today! Gary... Gary, make sure to cut out that footage from just now. The footage of me. My... my hair was messed up. Bring out Team Democracy."

**11:45 AM.**

Team Democracy, the only team still holding on to eight total members, nervously approached Blaineley from their bus. It seemed everyone had been watching her outbursts closely. "Um... we're here," Delaware stammered, approaching Blaineley.

"Huh? Oh. Your challenge..." Blaineley murmured, looking up. It seemed she had just been occupied by her phone. "Your challenge... let's... have... you kids... go... buy me a soda. From the store. That's your challenge."

New York was confused. "Um. Miss, are you sure that's the-"

"Yes, I'm positive. Get me a root beer. A&W. None of that Barq's crap."

"Uhhh..."

"What are you standing there for?" Blaineley snapped, looking up once more from her Twitter account. "Get a move on! We don't have all day, and the caterers didn't bring drinks."

"Come on, guys..." Massachusetts mumbled, leading everyone into the city. The fans outside the barriers had begun to dwindle, but nearly tried to run Team Democracy over as they exited into the streets of Grand Rapids. The police were forced to intervene, making a small path the eight could walk through to get to the store.

The store was a tiny little corner shop downtown. An Indian man greeted them with a small wave, evidently eager such a huge amount of teens were entering his store. "Let's see... what exactly did Blaineley ask for, again?" Maine asked, looking at the long aisles. "She wanted root beer?"

New Jersey shrugged, shuffling slightly closer to Maine as he did so. "I guess. Hey... yo, Delaware, you want me to treat you to somethin'?"

"No, thanks. I'm good."

"It'll be _real_ fancy, like one of them glass bottles of Coke-"

"I said I'm _good_, New Jersey. Really."

New Jersey frowned, as Massachusetts carried a can of Barq's root beer to the counter, and pulled a dollar out of his wallet. "Receipt, please," he muttered, as the man made the purchase. Connecticut looked longingly over the long aisles, and mumbled, "Man... I wish I'd brought my money."

"Thank you!" Massachusetts said to the man as he put the soda into the bag. "Alright, guys, let's go! I guess all Blaineley wanted was a root beer. This challenge was easy."

**12:07 PM.**

"This is _BARQ'S ROOT BEER._"

Blaineley was screaming at Massachusetts full in the face, who had moments earlier come cheerily offering her the beverage. Team Democracy all stood on the sidelines, looking utterly pitiful.

"I _SPECIFICALLY ASKED FOR A&W._ Do you _not_ know how to follow _simple instructions?_ Jesus! Go back to your bus, Team Democracy, and bring out Team Dakota so we can finally go. Ugh. You weren't filming just now, were you, Gary?"

"Nada."

"Good."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_65_mp3**

"It's _root beer!_ It all looks the same! How was I supposed to know what brand she wanted? Ugh, I feel terrible about it. I tried offering her to go back and pay for a different one, with my own money again, but she just sort of scoffed at me and poured the soda out on my shoes."

Massachusetts

**12:11 PM.**

"Alright, so great for you to be here, challenge day, yadda-yadda-yadda," Blaineley greeted Team Dakota dully as the seven approached. "I assume you kids want a challenge or something, right? Okaaay... challenge, challenge, challenge... hm."

North Dakota stood patiently, standing in front of her team, waiting for Blaineley's word. Blaineley snapped her fingers, and muttered, "Okay, how about this. What's nine plus seven?"

...

"Uh. Sixteen?"

"Good. You can go."

South Dakota gaped at Blaineley. "That's it?" she asked. "Just... just a simple math problem? _Anybody_ can do that! Why, I-"

"Not now," North Dakota whispered harshly into her sister's ear. "Just move on and be glad she didn't give us something hard."

**12:15 PM**

"Alright, everybody! Challenges are over. Let's tally up the results."

The thirty-five contestants all approached Blaineley cautiously, as a high noon sun beamed down upon the city. Blaineley appeared thoughtful for a moment.

"Hmm. Let's say... Team Touchdown, Team Victory, and Team Dakota are all safe. They did what I asked. Out of Team Democracy and Team America, I choose..."

...

...

...

"I guess Team America can go to voting tonight."

The seven members of Team America all groaned. "That takes us down to six people!" Ohio complained. "That's basically _Team Victory_ status!"

"Hey!" New Mexico protested. "We're not doing _that_ badly."

"You're right, you're not!" Blaineley agreed. "Which is why the six of you _aren't_ going to the chopping block tonight. Team America? I'll see _all_ of you guys tonight."

Blaineley cast Indiana a rather wicked grin, and flounced off. "Back into the buses, everyone!" she declared. "It's time for _voting! _How fun. Let's see _just how far_ we can dwindle down Team America."

**4:57 PM.**

"Okay, guys. Who are we voting off?"

Ohio addressed all of his teammates in the living quarters of Team America's bus. After only Virginia and Illinois showed up, he was forced to yell at everyone until they attended his meeting. He looked at them all seriously, and raised his hand. "As leader of this team, I nominate Indiana."

A single eyebrow rose from her. "Okay. And exactly _why__?_" she asked, arms crossed.

"Because I think Blaineley doesn't like you. And if she doesn't like you, she'll just continue to make life hell for our team."

"Yeah, but I think Indiana did a pretty amusing job," North Carolina commented. "She was hilarious, and just seeing the look on Blaineley's face was worth it. I want to vote off Kentucky."

A few sympathetic nods went around. "Awww, why?" Kentucky whined.

"No, we're voting off Indiana, and that's final," Ohio seethed. "We vote as a _team_. That's how we'll get through this. Trust me. With me as leader, we're already doing better."

"Except for the fact that we lost the first challenge we got with you as leader," Indiana pointed out. "Maybe we're _cursed__ now_, brought on by... I dunno, Michigan being voted off."

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, and things like that are exactly why you're being voted off tonight, Indiana," Ohio asserted. "There's no curse. We just had a bad day, is all. Now stop acting like babies and lighten up. We're doing just _fine_ as a team."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_66_mp3**

"Alright, Ohio's one of my closest friends on this show, but... I don't know, y'all, but seein' him as leader just kinda seems off-puttin'. Y'know? Like... ever since Michigan got voted off, I've just had a bad feelin' about all this deep down inside me. Maybe I'm just being paranoid."

Virginia

**7:02 PM.**

"Good evening, everybody!" Blaineley chimed to the seven contestants as they exited the bus and into the almost empty parking lot of a Walmart. Blaineley was all smiles now with the knowledge that a few cameras were pointed her way. "We should be having an _exciting_ voting ceremony tonight! I'm so excited!"

The contestants didn't seem as pumped as her, oddly enough, and instead chose to just take their seats on the ground. Blaineley pouted at the lack of a reaction, but withdrew a bag of marshmallows, and declared, "Well, I've got marshmallows for six of you! And don't any of you dare say you miss Chris. He's not coming back. _Ever_. Never, ever, ever. So just go ahead and put that silly thought back in your head for now as I give out these marshmallows."

"Maryland! No votes!"

A marshmallow was tossed her way. Blaineley grinned widely at the remaining six. "North Carolina! Here's a marshmallow. No votes."

...

"Ohio and Virginia! Two marshmallows. No votes for either of you."

That just left Indiana, Illinois, and Kentucky. Blaineley smiled sweetly at the boys, and scowled briefly at Indiana. "Just two marshmallows, and three of you!" she announced. "Each of you got at least one vote. But who will make it out tonight?"

...

"Illinois. Just one vote. You get a marshmallow."

He caught it gratefully, and glanced around nervously at everyone. Blaineley narrowed her eyes.

"I was not happy with tonight's result. However... I have to go along with whatever the majority wants, and evidently the majority wants a dim-witted, sarcastic, moody little teenage girl! Kentucky, you got four votes, beat it."

Ohio scowled at his five teammates as Indiana smiled slightly. "Awww, _whyyy?_" Kentucky cried. "What did I ever do?"

"You wore a bowl on your head."

"You suggested our team be called Team Onion."

"You repeatedly-"

"Okay! Okay, I'm going..." Kentucky mumbled, gathering his things. "I guess you guys aren't a fan of people who are _eccentric_, I guess."

Kentucky grabbed his bags from the bus, and walked off towards the taxi without another word. There was a lengthy silence as a car door slammed in the distance. Blaineley was about to reach into her purse for a cigarette, when Indiana suddenly piped up, "Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you guys. I'm a lesbian."

There was an even longer pause. "Um..." Virginia said slowly, "is now _really_ the best time to be coming out of the closet? I mean, considering we just lost a challenge, and all."

Silence.

**10:25 PM.**

Team Victory's bus steadily rumbled along the smooth roads south into the mid-west. Most of its occupants were asleep. Only Washington was awake, reading a newspaper article while lying on the couch sleepily.

He turned the page. There was a black-and-white photo of Chris McLean in orange prison garb. Washington sighed, and put the newspaper aside, right as Oregon walked in timidly.

"Oh, um, sorry if I'm disturbing you, Washington..."

"It's no problem. What do you need?"

"Well..."

Oregon hesitated, and then sat down beside Washington, looking afraid to speak. Washington studied his expression, and eventually just said, "Alright. You're about to reveal something to me. What is it?"

"Um... wow, how'd you know?"

"Lucky guess."

"Oh... okay, well... Washington, you're my best friend in this show, and I think it's fitting that you know this about me first. Okay... this is kind of hard to say, actually-"

"Wait," Washington suddenly intervened. "If we're about to start confessing things, first think. Is this something you want a camera to know about, and therefore millions of people?"

Oregon froze. "Um. I - I... no, not really."

"Hm. Okay. Well, while we're confessing things, I might as well get this off my chest. I'm gay."

"Yeah, that's fine if you don't wanna - wait, _what?_"

Oregon's jaw went wide at Washington. "_YOU?_"

"What's the matter?"

"But... you're so... you're not feminine at all! How are you gay?"

"Not all gay guys are feminine."

"Well, I know that, it's just... _really?_"

"Yep. What'd you want to tell me, Oregon? I can probably disable the cameras if need be."

Oregon hesitated at that, and then plowed on. "I just can't believe... do the others know yet?"

"No. But they will eventually."

...

"Wow. I didn't know there were so many gay guys on this show."

Washington frowned at that, and leaned back on the couch, thinking. "All we know is that Massachusetts is gay or something," he reasoned. "That's... what? Two in fifty total contestants? Including me? That's not so surprising."

"Yeah... I... I guess. Um... thanks for telling me, Washington, I understand that was probably - probably really - really _hard_ to, um... get off your chest..."

"Nah. I'm not really, uh, prone to getting nervous."

There was a really long, awkward pause, that was only broken by Oregon stammering, "Well, I should - should probably be getting back to bed, now..."

"Alright. See you tomorrow."

******ELIMINATED:** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, and Kentucky.

**aspiringAnimator** - Hahah, wow, I didn't initially plan for so many people to come out of the closet this episode. But this is the highly-coveted second Act, so I've got to get a few plot arcs moving. But yeah, Washington and Indiana were always planned to be gay. That was always going to be a thing. Hope I'm not pushing too much LGBT stuff. There's pleeenty of straight romance in this fic soon enough.

Review! I love it when you guys do that. Also, favorite and follow, if you haven't! When you do that, a tiny winged baby delivers you messages when this story gets updated. How cool is that? WOW. 21st century magic going on here, people.

The poll continues to be a thing, and will be a thing until this story ends. I assume most of you guys have heard me going on and on about it, so I'll shut up. Also, woo, we're approaching the two month mark soon! I will throw a party, and then crash it personally.


	18. Caving In

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Maryland, North Carolina, Ohio, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 17: CAVING IN**

_"I don't belong in here!" - New Hampshire_

**Sunday, August 31st, 2014. Mammoth Cave National Park, Kentucky. 10:19 AM.**

The last shimmers of an August sun were currently beaming down upon the five buses as they made their way through Kentucky. Soon, September would arrive, and with it the slightly chillier temperatures in some of the more northern regions.

As of now, a small yellow tinge was growing upon a few of the trees along the Kentucky countryside, a sign of the brilliant autumnal foliage that was to come. The Fifty State Roadtrip was only just getting underway, and the incredible media scandal roused by Chris's arrest in the weeks prior only helped push the show towards fame.

However... while you were on the show yourself... things were different. It was a lot harder to think about fame when you were too busy worrying about not getting voted off.

Such was the case in Team Dakota's bus.

Nebraska, Kansas, and Utah all sat around the tiny table in the living quarters of their bus. On the couch, North Dakota sat, swiping her finger along her recently-bought iPod Touch. Every few moments she grinned smugly. A long wooden cane sat in her lap, which she was beginning to use frequently for drubbings against teammates that acted out against her regime.

Kansas sneezed, soliciting a glare from North Dakota. Evidently, her temper was not difficult to set off.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_67_mp3**

"Okay. I hate this show now. I need to make this quick, since... we're... not actually supposed to use the confessionals. But seriously, I hate being on this show. Or this team. Whatever. I think North Dakota suspects I was involved in treason against her... this... this isn't what I expected reality television to be like! I want to continue in Minnesota's footsteps, and try to take North Dakota down, but... I dunno. I'm too tired of failing my teammates. I almost _want_ to go home, and go back to school. Since there's basically no chance of me winning the prize."

Nebraska

**10:50 AM.**

"Well, you could have at least _told_ me!"

"I don't see why this is such a big deal."

"You being lesbian _is_ a big deal! I'm supposed to be your friend!"

North Carolina was yelling at Indiana in the confines of Team America's bus. All five buses had stopped at a gas station, filling up on fuel. The rest of Team America, small numbers though they were, were inside, buying snacks.

Indiana sighed. "It doesn't matter. Why do you care? My sexuality is about as uninteresting as the color of my hair."

"It's a _big_ thing, Indiana! We're _friends_. Friends tell each other stuff!"

"Well, Carolina, I didn't realize we were supposed to make friendship bracelets and tell each other our most heart-felt secrets and desires. Oh my goodness, did you know Jessica likes Brad? What a _surprise!_ We are all blown away by this startling revelation."

"_Damn it_, Indiana! You're always so sarcastic about everything! Can't you stop making everything such a big _joke?_"

"Girl, lighten up. You always blow everything out of proportions. So what if I'm a lesbian? It doesn't matter. Our team is cursed, so we're probably going to the voting ceremony tonight again. And with any luck, I'll be the one going home."

At that moment, Ohio had walked in, staring at the two of them, and holding a bag of gummy worms. "Cursed?" he asked. "No. Indiana, we're _not_ cursed, cut that garbage out. It was just... two bad losses. That's all. I'm sure we'll recuperate. Now stop being such a downer. It's not like _Michigan_ was the one holding our team together."

Indiana rolled her eyes, and North Carolina groaned in response to Indiana's absolutely dull response to just about everything. Ohio retreated to his bunk room, probably to drop off his snacks.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_68_mp3**

"Why doesn't Indiana tell me anything? We're _friends_. That's what friends do. If I was a lesbian, I would've told her! I - I mean... y'know, probably. I don't want to make a bigger deal about it than it needs to be, but... still."

North Carolina

**11:08 AM.**

Slowly, the five buses stopped at the end of a long, long trail in the middle of the woods. Blaineley awaited at the end of the trail, her limousine waiting patiently at her side. She beamed a wide, dead smile as the contestants climbed out of the buses and the cameras switched on. "_Good morning_, contestants!" she greeted. "As you can see, I am _still the host!_ So please stop making confessionals wishing otherwise. We're not going to use them."

There was a long silence, as the rest of the thirty-four contestants climbed out of the buses. Once everyone was ready and listening patiently, Blaineley began to speak.

"There has been... a change in plans. I am no longer allowed to decide what the challenges will be-"

A huge cheer erupted from the contestants. Texas was fist pumping the air, and Alabama swooped up Mississippi for a rather silly kiss. Blaineley began to scowl. "Quiet!" she screeched. "I am _still_ your host! It's just... the producers didn't _like_ my hand-crafted challenges last episode, so... they've chosen them for us instead. But that's okay! That's... that's fine! It's fine... anyway, here's today's challenge. Does anybody know where we are?"

New Jersey raised his hand, and yelled, "The middle of the woods?"

...

"Go stand in the corner, New Jersey," Blaineley reprimanded with a harsh glare.

"But... ma'am... we're outside..."

"Then shoosh! And listen to me." She finished off with a wide smile, and adjusted her hair. "This is Mammoth Cave National Park!" she yelled, gesturing vaguely towards the scenery around them. "Some of the world's largest cave systems are beneath our feet. And you kids are gonna be exploring them."

Blaineley then pointed at a huge rock face behind her, the side of a mountain. In the center of that rockface... a long, thin crevice was clearly visible, one that seemed to dip into a pitch black dark void. Blaineley's grin widened spectacularly at everyone's reactions to seeing the cave.

"By... like, ourselves?" California whimpered. Blaineley laughed. "Of course not! Each contestant will have their own personal trainer to help guide them through the treacherous passages." At that, everyone breathed out a sigh of relief. Blaineley waited a couple more seconds, and then laughed.

"Ahahahahahaaa! You _actually_ think we've got the money to _do_ that? Ohhh, you kids are so gullible. I can see why Chris loved you all so much. No, your job is to get through these caves to the end with only your team to help you! First team to make it to the end wins. But watch out. There are many pathways, and only one correct exit... so! I'll see you kids later. Oh, wait..."

She kicked open a large metal box. "Flashlights for everyone!" she yelled. "Not all of them have good batteries, so... fight amongst yourselves, I suppose. I'm going _shopping!_ See you all when the challenge is over!"

**11:31 AM.**

Team Democracy carefully made their way into the cave. Since their bus was usually the one to lead the other four teams' buses, it was fitting that they would be going first into the pitch black depths. Flickering flashlights bounced along the damp cave walls, illuminating the long, pointy stalagmites that protruded from the ground everywhere. New York was leading the way, pointing his flashlight ahead with a determined grip. Behind them, Team America followed in the distance.

"This place smells weird..." Connecticut remarked, glancing at the slick cave walls. "Like mold, or... or rubber. Or something."

New York held out a hand. "Careful, guys," he cautioned. "Watch your footing. The cave's starting to go down now. Don't slip."

The eight members of Team Democracy carefully made their way down the slope, descending deeper into the darkness. Suddenly, the path split off into two different directions. One twisted out of view, while the other seemed to keep going down. New York frowned, and muttered, "Which way should we go? It's a split path..."

Massachusetts shrugged in response. "Beats me. Blaineley probably _wants_ us to get lost."

New Hampshire, in one of her rare words bouts of communication, suggested, "Maybe we should take the path on the right? The one that turns suddenly."

An exhausted sigh came from New York. "Alright," he consented. "If it's a dead end, we turn back. We don't want to get too far behind the others if it is."

**11:46 AM.**

Team Victory, following close behind Team America, slowly descended deeper into the mammoth-sized cave. Eerie shadows were cast upon the slick walls by their flashlights. It was creepy, that much was for certain.

Faaar up ahead, Team Democracy turned right at a split path. After a brief discussion, Team America followed them. By the time Team Victory arrived at the split, however, it was impossible to hear teams America or Democracy.

"Which way should we go?" Arizona asked, peering into the void. "Hmm..." Washington murmured, glancing between the two options. "Well... nobody's gone down the path on the left. It might not be a terrible idea to go that way. Plus, it keeps going down, and it's a little wider."

"You're the boss," Hawaii remarked, shrugging. And just like that, Team Victory was descending even deeper into the caverns, the only source of illumination being their hand-held flashlights. All of a sudden, California gasped, nearly dropping her flashlight. "What if we get lost?" she yelped.

Washington grinned slyly. "If it comes to that... we've got this," he said, and pulled out the PDA the team had purchased from the Mall of America challenge. "It should show us our GPS, assuming we can get a signal down here. And if we can't, it still has a compass _and_ a depth measure. I've been experimenting with it a little. This way, we'll know exactly how far down we are."

That seemed to quell California's fears, and the team delved further into the depths. Indeed, the cave _did_ seem to be getting wider; small pools of water had collected on the cave floor in a few places. Drops of water dripped down from the ceiling every few moments, making soft splatting noises on the stalagmites they landed upon.

"Hey, Washington," Oregon whispered, catching up. Washington smiled slightly, and murmured, "Hey. What's up?"

"Oh... nothing, just wanted to chat."

The two began to slightly lag behind the other four members of their team as they all splashed through the shallow, murky puddles of the cave.

After a length pause, Oregon tentatively asked, "So... you're gay."

"Yep."

"Were you out of the closet at home?"

Washington thought about that for a moment. "Sort of..." he muttered. "To some people. The week before I left for DC - y'know, for this show - the situation had started to become... um... slightly out of hand."

"Like how?"

"Well, news had started to get out. Hold on - I need to start from the beginning."

Oregon listened patiently as the group proceeded deeper into the caverns. Washington sighed, and explained, "This goes back to... 2013. I was a sophomore at school in Seattle. I didn't know anybody, since I'd just moved to a new school.. But I met a guy named... um. Let's say his name was... Andrew. Well... this guy was absolutely _brilliant_. I mean that. It's part of the reason I started thinking a lot more analytically about - well, everything. Things between us... started to get a little... _involved_ by Christmas."

Eyebrows raised from Oregon. "By early 2014, we were... dating," Washington explained, showing nervousness in his voice for the first time since the show started. "But it was a very hushed matter. My parents are really conservative, and they'd blow their gasket once they knew. But a _lot_ of people began to suspect what was going on once the school year was almost over. Most people were supportive, but... I couldn't let my parents know."

The cave grew silent, as Washington looked more and more somber. "It... it grew so complicated. I liked him a lot - brilliant thinker. Taught me everything I know about psychology. But I... I had to cut it off. My parents couldn't know. But... he grew kind of angry about that, and... um. Told everyone I was gay. It was a nightmare."

The rest of Team Victory was now far ahead, flashing their lights all over the walls of the cave. "So..." Washington concluded, "I applied for every reality show that I could. Ones that would take me away from home. And I got accepted by this one. The Fifty State Roadtrip. It seemed like a way to not only get away from home, but to exercise my thinking skills and meet new people. And... here I am."

"Wow..." Oregon murmured, looking down at the cave floor. "I didn't know. It... um... sounds like you had a lot on your plate, Washington."

"Yeah. You could say that. It was a long year. But... if I win on this show, I might actually be free from all that. Which is why we should probably catch up with the others."

"Oh! Right," Oregon stammered, and the two jogged ahead to catch up with the rest of their team.

**12:25 PM.**

"Any idea where we are?" Virginia wearily asked Ohio. Team America, who had all been following Team Democracy, lost them about half an hour earlier. Now, they were all alone in the pitch-black cave.

"I don't know..." Ohio moaned, rubbing his eyes. "I'm getting tired of walking around, and it's hard to breathe down here. I need some fresh air."

North Carolina nodded in agreement to that. "Yeah. Maybe we should all sit down and take a break."

At that suggestion, it was agreed that was a good idea, and the six members of Team America all sat down to rest. A deep, mournful tune began whistling through the caverns. They were all alone. In a manner of speaking, of course.

A few minutes later, a growl came from the corner. Ohio bolted upright, looking warily into the dark. "Who's there?" he yelped. A few of his bored teammates glanced around sleepily. The growl continued, right in their direction.

A pissed-off bear lumbered from the shadows, sniffing at the six teens. Everyone jumped up, instantly alert. "Don't make a move," Ohio whispered. "It can't see us unless we move. I'll go get h-"

The bear roared. Maryland screamed, and Illinois fell down, sobbing hysterically. "RUN!" Virginia shouted, and each person took off in the darkness, the bear in hot pursuit.

**12:29 PM.**

A distant, distorted scream echoed off the cave walls. "Did you hear something?" South Dakota nervously asked her sister, who wielded all seven of the team's flashlights. North Dakota shrugged in response. "It probably doesn't matter. We keep following Team Victory like this, and we avoid going to the voting ceremony tonight."

"But how do we know they're going the right way...?"

"They've got some fancy PDA or whatever. And also fifteen hundred condoms, from what I know-"

"What?"

"Never mind, South."

The seven contestants from Team Dakota tromped deeper into the cave. Stalactites pointed down from the ceilings, creating an ominous spectacle from above. Eerie shadows bounced along the cave walls. Up ahead, the six tiny lights of Team Victory receded into the distance. North Dakota adjusted her pace to keep up, when Oklahoma suddenly appeared beside her. "Do you need anything, Glorious Leader?" she asked in a timid voice.

"What we need is to win this challenge. And for Chris to become our host again. I hate Blaineley, she's not very imaginative."

"Oh."

Oklahoma walked hesitantly beside North Dakota and South Dakota. "Er... is there anything I can do to gain your favor, Glorious Leader?" Oklahoma asked after a few more moments of walking.

"If you want me to like you, Oklahoma, just stay out of my way."

"...oh."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_69_mp3**

"I've gotten just a few too many complaints about me not letting anybody else use the confessionals. Okay, by 'complaints', I mean slightly reproachful glares when I remind everyone. Well, for one thing, this is _my team_. I have the right to tell people what they can and cannot do. Why does everyone always want to use the confessional? Like I remind everyone, if you want to use the confessional booth, that means that _you have a secret_. And secrets are bad. At least, they are when I don't know them."

North Dakota

**12:37 PM.**

Heavy footsteps thudded along a slick cave floor. North Carolina sprinted along a pitch black, narrow corridor. A bear roared triumphantly far behind her. She ran further, only to-

WHAM. She collided with Indiana.

"Shit!" Indiana yelped, and looked up to see who she'd ran straight into. "North Carolina? Where are you going? The bear's in the direction you're running."

"I - but I thought - behind me-"

"The exit's this way. I saw a light. Come on."

North Carolina then followed Indiana deeper into the chasm. Drawn-out yelps erupted far behind them, echoing around the walls like some kind of twisted auditorium.

"Where _are_ we?" North Carolina yelled, but Indiana didn't respond. Instead, Indiana pulled North Carolina into the light-

The two of them were outside now, having climbed out of a narrow hole in a tall rock face. There was nobody around, just the tall swaying pine trees and stout, green-and-yellow birch trees. North Carolina caught her breath, and looked around. "There's nobody here," she gasped. Indiana sighed, and surveyed the forest around them. "Yeah... there isn't," she agreed. "C'mon. Blaineley probably expected everyone to come out of a different hole. Let's look around."

**12:48 PM.**

"Fifty-four bottles of beer on the wall, fifty-four bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around, fifty-three bottles of beer on the wall..."

Texas sang a merry tune as Team Touchdown descended deeper into the abyss of the cave. Despite the fact that none of them had heard anybody else for the past hour, almost everyone seemed in good spirits. Except Arkansas.

Arkansas was looking worried. "You're _sure_ we're not lost?" he tentatively asked Mississippi, who looked down at him with a confused expression. "Lost?" she asked, bewildered. "My boyfrien's leadin' us. Alabama. We ain't gonna get lost."

That didn't seem good enough for Arkansas, but he refrained from complaining again for a while. The cave was getting thinner and thinner now; the seven members of Team Touchdown were now forced to squeeze through, walking sideways with their stomach's tucked in. Alabama was having a little trouble.

"Forty-nine bottles of beer on the wall, forty-nine bottles of... eugh... ow. Take one down, dah-dah-dah-dah... forty-eight... I can't go any further, y'all."

"Aw. I liked that song, Texas-"

"Naw, bro, I mean I literally can't fit through this cave no more. It's too tight."

Everyone shifted around uncomfortably, and seemed to be having similar issues. "We gonna turn back?" Tennessee asked. Alabama looked around wearily, and muttered, "Yeah... I guess so. We been goin' down this corridor for a while now, though... it's gonna take a while."

The team resignedly turned around, and began heading down the opposite direction in the tunnel. Suddenly, a light flickered.

"My light's goin' out!" Georgia yelped, shaking her flashlight up and down and smacking it with the palm of her hand over and over again. Within moments, however, it died for good. She threw it on the floor with a pouting face, as Texas muttered, "Well... we got six others. We'll be fi-"

Just like that, Texas's light went out, too, but without any flickering. He tried turning it back on, but the switch wouldn't budge. "Damn! My light's broke too!" he yelled, hitting it on the wall.

"Well, hitting it won't help anything!" Arkansas cautioned. "All this means is that we'll have to hurry."

"I didn't _ask_ you, Arkansas! This ain't helpin' anything - now my light's out, too!"

One by one, each person's flashlight cut out. Once Mississippi's light went out for good, they were in the dark.

...

...

...

"Forty-eight bottles of beer on the wall, forty-eight bottles of beer..."

**1:03 PM.**

Team Democracy trudged through the narrowing corridors of the cave. The day was beginning to wear on, now, and this showed in the eight teammates expressions. New Hampshire, who had been providing minor suggestions on directions, had now resigned to following far back behind the others, utterly worn out. Massachusetts, who was almost always tolerant and respectful, had grown snappy and tired. The fact that no other teams had been heard from for the last hour wasn't helping anything.

"Guys, I really think we're lost," Connecticut mourned. "We must have taken a wrong turn somewhere, and I _really_ don't feel comfortable down here-"

"It's fine, Connecticut," New York affirmed, looking ahead with sleepy eyes. "We're not lost. The exit's... just ahead. I'm sure of it."

The team walked ahead in uncertainty, impeded by tiredness. The path ahead was uncertain, and rife with danger. In fact, just half an hour earlier, distant yells had been heard from far away, echoing all over the cave walls and eventually sounding like horrible hyena calls. But now, there was nothing.

They came at a split in the path again. "We go left," New York decided. Massachusetts rolled his eyes, clearly tired out of his wits from all this. "Who says you get to decide?" he snapped. "Doesn't matter which way we go. We'll just be lost as ever."

New York looked a little taken aback. "What's your deal, Massachusetts?" he asked, eyebrows raised. "We're fine. We'll be out of here. I'm... sure of it."

Massachusetts was quiet for a few more minutes as the eight tromped deeper into the cave. After a while, he said, "I can't breathe. The air quality down here is simply _terrible_."

"It really is," New York agreed. "But it should... it should be getting better as we get to the exit. I mean... right?"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_70_mp3**

"Thinking back on it, I was probably a little too rude down there. I blame the air supply, I think. But... yeah. I'm sorry. I just really hate caves."

Massachusetts

**1:20 PM.**

"I really don't like this place..." Oregon murmured, looking worriedly around the cave. The six members of Team Victory trudged through knee-deep water in the depths of the cave. Ahead, a steady breeze lifted their hair. After a brief silence, Washington looked up at New Mexico, and remarked, "You really gotta wear shades in a cave, too?"

"Shades are cool, Washington. I'll buy you some at the next rest stop."

"...but you wear them _all the time_."

Arizona hugged New Mexico's arm with a small grin. "He looks good in them," she explained. "And I can vouch for that."

Washington shrugged, with an amused smile. Suddenly, New Mexico pointed ahead. "Look, guys!" he yelled. "A light!"

Far off at the end of the cave, light streamed in. California gasped, and clapped her hands. Hawaii jumped, and fist-pumped the air. "Yeah!" he cheered. "We made it! Come on, guys!"

Team Victory rushed towards the light, and climbed out the opening, finding themselves outside for the first time in hours. Sure enough, Blaineley stood waiting with her camera crew. "Oh, finally," she said, grimacing at Team Victory. "Someone finally made their way out of the cave other than these two idiots."

She jerked a thumb behind her, where Indiana and North Carolina stood. Indiana scowled at Blaineley. "Aw. And I was having such a fun time with our _lovable host_, too," she commented, smirking. Blaineley rolled her eyes at Indiana's snide remarks, and waved her arms. "Well, we've finally got a winning team. Where is everybody, anyway?"

Washington shrugged, looking back into the cave. "I'm not sure," he admitted. "I think Team Dakota was following us for a while back there, but - wait-"

And just like that, the entirety of Team Dakota climbed out of the exit to the cave. North Dakota gasped in the fresh air, after her sister helped haul her out. "Whew!" she panted. "We made it."

Blaineley nodded, looking worried for the first time in a while. "We're still missing three teams..." she murmured, biting her long fingernails. "It's... _okay_ if a few contestants go missing, right?"

...

**2:13 PM.**

"Okay. Virginia!"

"Here!"

"Illinois?"

"I'm here."

"Maryland?"

"Here!"

"Okay..." Ohio murmured. "Okay, we're just missing Indiana and North Carolina now. Now, I'm not sure where they are, but we've got to find the exit to this place. That bear's probably not too far behind us. Alright? Now let's go."

The four ran forward, splashing through small puddles. Ahead, a dull blue light shone around a crack, when-

CRASH. The four slammed into a huge party of people. "Argh! What the hell?" Texas shouted, almost knocked over by Ohio's running. "Team America?"

The two teams stared at each other for but a second. Any alliance they'd had since the Civil War challenge was gone, right when everyone noticed the exit was right ahead.

"GO!" Ohio shouted, running forward, but was only knocked to the side by Alabama. The two teams rushed forward, and burst into the sunlight.

"Whoa!" Washington yelled, as eleven contestants burst out of a crack in the rocks. "More people?"

Alabama ran forward, gasping. "We made it!" he yelled. "We - we made it ahead of Team America... we beat them..."

"We beat you guys!" Ohio countered, pointing his finger accusatorily towards Team Touchdown. "_We_ did!"

"No, you didn't!" Blaineley yelled, grinning widely. "Which means... Team America is going to the voting ceremony! Woo! Third time in a row!"

"_NO!_" Virginia yelled. "Not _again!_"

An uproar began from Team America. Indiana was arguing with Blaineley, who had her hand extended and right in Indiana's face. Ohio was screaming at Team Touchdown. "We _can't lose! _We've lost _twice in a row_ already!"

New York, with the rest of his team behind him, climbed out of the rock face wearily, looking around at almost three-dozen contestants arguing at each other. "What's going on?" he asked.

Everyone turned their heads to look at Team Democracy. Blaineley's jaw dropped. "Oh. There was still another team left?" she asked. "I keep forgetting there are like five teams on this show. Well, that settles it! It looks like Team Democracy lost this time."

The members of Team Democracy all collectively groaned, as the six from Team America all sighed in relief. "You mean we lost?" Massachusetts asked, unbelieving. "I can't believe it. We've only been in there for..."

Massachusetts checked his watch. His eyes bulged. "Oh. Three hours."

Blaineley smiled at that, and gave Team Democracy an intimidating wave. "Time to break that eight-member team down, Democracy!" she yelled. "Follow me to the buses! We've got a voting ceremony coming up."

**6:56 PM.**

"Pennsylvania!"

Pennsylvania caught her marshmallow. The voting ceremony was already underway. Blaineley frowned at Pennsylvania. "You were literally the only person to not get any votes. This team's voting is all over the place."

Everybody but Pennsylvania gaped in shock. At least one vote for each person. This was no good sign.

"Connecticut. One vote."

A marshmallow was thrown, and then gratefully caught. "Delaware! One vote..."

Delaware caught her marshmallow. Blaineley grinned at the depleting numbers of Team Democracy. "Maine!" Blaineley called, and tossed a marshmallow.

"Massachusetts, New Jersey, and... New York! One vote each."

The three guys all caught their marshmallows. Blaineley smiled widely at the last person. The only one who hadn't gotten a marshmallow.

New Hampshire. She looked around with a confused expression. "Where's mine?" she asked, realization slowly dawning onto her face.

"In the taxi," Blaineley explained slowly, as though New Hampshire was stupid or something. "You're going home. You got two votes!"

"I... two... wait, why?"

"I'm not sure. Seems random to me! Into the cab you go!"

"Wait!" New Hampshire yelled. "No! Why me? Why not - why not Connecticut, or Maine, or - agh! Please!"

Blaineley tossed a purple duffel bag into New Hampshire's arms. "Bye!" she yelled, waving her hand sweetly. "You're off the show. You didn't speak much, anyway. Too quiet!"

"No!"

New Hampshire was thrown into the car. Her face appeared at the window. "No! Let me back on!" she yelled in muffled tones, banging on the window with her fist. "I don't belong in here!"

The taxi began to drive off. Pennsylvania looked disappointed, but Blaineley's thrill at hosting her very own show only grew. "Thanks for watching!" she yelled. "New episodes on CampTV on weekends and Wednesdays. Will the 'curse' upon Team America ever be lifted? Will Team Democracy ever win physically demanding challenges? And will Chris ever come back on this show? Well, I _can_ tell you that the answer to that last one is no. Ahahaha!"

She gave a wave and a smile to the camera. Once it was shut off... her expression quickly switched back to that of a deep scowl.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_71_mp3**

"I liked New Hampshire a lot. She was really nice, and... she was my friend. I mean, I have other friends, too, like Maine, and Delaware, and New York, but... I think I was New Hampshire's _only_ friend. I didn't see anybody else jumping to her defense..."

Pennsylvania

******ELIMINATED:** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, and New Hampshire.

**aspiringAnimator** - Blughhh. Writing, writing, and writing for the past three hours. Sorry. I just happen to have very little time after school to write, so... y'know how it is. All my writing is usually restricted to weekends now. But hey, I managed to make the deadline! Sorry if a few parts of this episode seem rushed, like the ending. New Hampshire was never a really important character, and I... just didn't feel like she deserved an overtly-elaborate voting ceremony. She's the last person I can say that about from that team, though.

By the way, I've put in a Table of Contents at the beginning! As, y'know, an intro to the story, and to show where we currently are. It's mainly for navigating between the acts.

Make sure to review! I know some of you guys are keeping up with this story, and I am absolutely thrilled about that. But I need _feedback!_ Suggestions! Criticisms! All of that stuff makes a writer stronger. Like me! So not only are you helping me, but you're also helping the content become better. Hey, you might even end up in the story itself. That happens sometimes.


	19. Driver Re-Education

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Maryland, North Carolina, Ohio, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 18: DRIVER RE-EDUCATION**

_"You comin' or nah?" - Chef_

**Wednesday, September 3rd, 2014. Concord, New Hampshire. 10:00 AM.**

"Five... four... three... two..."

"Good morning, Twin Cities!" a cheery faced reported sung. "I'm Sandra Pittman of WCCO, and this is your nine o'clock morning news. Today is September 3rd, 2014, and the time is exactly nine o'clock AM. Bit chilly this morning, Minneapolis! Temperatures are expected to drop into the mid fifties in the mornings this week, and then swinging back up into the seventies by next Sunday. Hope you've gotten ready for fall! Snowfall is expected to pile up later this year as usual once November rolls around. Let's see what we've got in news."

There was a brief pause as the news anchor shuffled some papers on her desk. She then looked up into the camera with a happy smile. "Christian 'Chris' McLean," she began, "noted host of the internationally popular teenage television reality series, Total Drama, has cropped up on our radar once more. After his scandalous arrest in the middle of filming an episode a few weeks ago, he was sent into prison this Monday with charges pressed by CampTV, the show's network. However, this morning, fans of the show gathered around the CampTV headquarters in Toronto in protest. Take a look."

The video feed then switched to shaking footage of someone filming the scene in Toronto. About fifty teenage girls were crowded around the doors of a tall building, wielding signs and chanting simultaneously. The feed then swapped back to Pittman, who put on her extra-grim face for this spectacle. "That was the scene early this morning," she explained. "It's been reported that thousands of fans have been outraged in the decision, and that McLean has been an integral part of the Total Drama series. In fact, I have a call from a fan right now! Say hello... er, what was your name, sweetheart?"

"_Sierra!_" a static-laden voice rang out. Pittman smiled sweetly, and gave a friendly wave to the camera. "You're live with WCCO, Sierra!" she greeted. "So tell me. How _exactly_ has the online community received such news?"

"_Well, naturally we were all outraged!_" Sierra explained over the phone. "_Total Drama has always been hosted by Chris! So I, ConnectichusettsLover612, and a bunch of other of my forum buddies like __ChrisSupportersUnited413 and WolverineStateGirl1812_ started a protest!"

"Amazing," Pittman breathed, checking her watch. "Well, I'll have to talk with you later, Sierra, as we're almost out of time. Say farewell!"

"_But wait! I'm not done! Don't forget to support Connecticut! He's the most_-"

The call was suddenly cut off for no apparent reason, as Sandra smiled blankly into the camera. "What a sweet girl," she sighed. "Well. Onto the weather. Dan, if you'd be so kind, show us how we're doing by the weekend, in terms of rainfall! I know we're in for a chilly one."

**10:36 AM.**

"Alright! Is everyone here?" Washington asked. The six members of Team Victory were all seated in the living quarters of the bus. In the middle of them all, three heavy, unopened cardboard boxes sat, each bearing the inscription "CONDOMS: 500 COUNT". Arizona was using a box to rest her elbows. "Okay, good..." Washington murmured. "I call a team meeting. Today is September 3rd, 2014, and the time is... seven thirty-seven AM-"

New Mexico hastily interrupted, stating, "Uh, my watch says eight thirty-five-"

"Yeah, I know mine's probably wrong," Washington explained, looking slightly weary. "I haven't bothered changing the hour since we travel so much. But that's not the point. The reason I've called this meeting is to discuss how far we've come in the competition so far."

Everyone listened patiently. Even California had taken a pause from looking at herself in the mirror to hear Washington's words. "It's been two months since we all stepped foot on this bus," he explained calmly. "In the process, we lost four team members. Let's all remember Montana, Nevada, Idaho, and Alaska. They were all pretty good competitors."

The six of them bowed their heads slightly in remembrance. Washington looked up grimly once a moment had passed. "If my calculations are correct, the show should be over on Christmas Day," he said. "And that's not even considering the possibility that another contestant might be added, or that multiple people will be eliminated one day. But I've got one piece of advice for all of us."

His five teammates all leaned in towards Washington. "Don't get cocky," Washington reminded. "Over-confidence leads to downfall. It happens every time. We're doing _okay_ as of now, as long as we don't lose any more challenges until the merge. Whenever that is."

"Whew!" New Mexico breathed, leaning back. "I was afraid you were about to tell us that _everything depended on victory_. That's a weight off my shoulders."

Arizona giggled, as Washington smiled tiredly. "Yeah, yeah, I know," he admitted. "It's a daunting task. But I think we can do it. I believe in everyone on this team. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, but when all of us get together, I _know_ we're unstoppable."

Hawaii began clapping semi-sarcastically, yet he was grinning broadly. "Well put, bro," he complimented. "I think we got this game in the _bag!_"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_72_mp3**

"Alright, I didn't ask to be leader. But... holding meetings and stuff is a lot of fun. I like it. And I like most people in my team. Even California, who can... _sometimes_ be a little embarrassing to our team. But that's okay. Because together, we can make it in this game. I have confidence in that. And, psychologically, if you believe in something hard enough, it's more likely to come true. Due to confidence and stuff. Or self-esteem. I dunno. I read it somewhere."

Washington

**11:04 AM.**

Team Democracy's bus steadily made its way north across the New Hampshire state line. A dull September sun shone down on the hills and valleys of the state. A gentle breeze rustled the tall, yellowing birch trees.

Massachusetts was sitting on the couch of the bus, watching the local New Hampshire news. Over near the kitchen area, New Jersey was making a sandwich.

"_...yesterday, the Merrimack Police Department did the Ice Bucket Challenge in memory of recently-deceased, seventeen-year veteran of the force, Sergeant Ed Payne, who died of ALS Monday night. Payne was diagnosed with ALS three years ago, and news of the disease was devastating on the department. Police Chief Mark Doyle had something to say on the matter, stating..._"

Massachusetts rolled his eyes, and flipped the channel. "Hey, Jersey," he suddenly yelled. "What's an 'ice bucket challenge?'"

"Huh?" he asked, whipping around and diverting his attention from the sandwich he was making. "Oh. An... ice bucket challenge? Is that something new?"

Massachusetts shrugged as Maine walked in. "Hey, guys," she greeted, and sat down next to Massachusetts on the couch. "What's on TV?"

"Oh..." Massachusetts muttered, "not much. Just some local stations."

The two sat in silence, as New Jersey finished, and took his sandwich to his bunk room. After a while, Massachusetts slowly asked, "Were... you friends with New Hampshire?"

Maine didn't respond for a brief moment. She then hung her head. "Sort of..." she admitted. "She didn't really have many friends. It's kind of a shame she got voted off so randomly. But at least we're still doing well as a team."

Massachusetts nodded in response. "Yeah... sorry, I just didn't know if you were a little broken up about it, that's all."

Maine shook her head, a small smile on her face. "No. I don't think so. Most of my friends are still on the show, thank heavens."

**11:51 AM.**

The Toronto South Detention Centre. Toronto, Canada.

Hundreds of inmates were housed in this facility. Yet there was one important celebrity recently housed within the walls that we can't forget.

This was not the first time Chris McLean had been arrested. The first time involved a lot of toxic waste and some _minor explosives_. This second time involved crocodiles... and just a few _more_ minor explosives.

Chris, in his orange prison jumpsuit, sat glumly on his prison bed with his head in his hands and staring sadly at the floor. His hair was greasy and un-washed since the day he'd arrived; Chris had staunchly refused to go to the shower rooms for reasons he'd left unspecified.

His career was over. He was laughed out of his own show. His contestants were probably rejoicing in his absence, and that witch _Blaineley_ was certainly taking all his well-deserved paychecks._  
_

No. He deserved to host Total Drama. It was his show! Why can't the producers just _see_ that?

Chris kicked at a small pebble on the dusty floor of his cell, and mumbled, "Just a minor explosive... a _minor_ explosive. Oh, they'll see. They'll _all_ see. Eventually. I'll show them."

He squeezed his eyes shut, and flopped back down on his bed as the bell rang for lunch time. Rather unlike him, he began to cry silently. This was all so unfair.

**12:14 PM.**

"Good morning, happy contestants!" Blaineley squealed as the thirty-three remaining contestants wearily climbed out of the five buses and onto the sidewalks of Concord. "Hope you've all had a great labor day weekend!"

"Labor day already passed?" Ohio asked. Blaineley waved a hand like it didn't matter. Around her, a few of the contestants began to realize they'd spent a total of _two entire months_ on this show. "Okay!" Blaineley yelled. "In a show of hands, how many of you have your driver's license already?"

About eight people raised their hands cautiously. Blaineley frowned. "That's it?" she asked. "Well... okay. That means this challenge is going to be _extra_ interesting! Heheheheh. But first, a word of congratulations."

Blaineley beamed at the thirty-three teenagers standing before her. "Although I've only been host for a few weeks so far," she explained, "I would like to congratulate _all_ of you on a job well done. We're two months into the show!"

New Jersey began clapping slowly, expression dull. Blaineley scowled, but remembered she was on camera. "Oh, hush, it'll be fun!" she reassured them. "But first we've got to do our challenge! This challenge is all about following the rules. Namely... the rules of the road."_  
_

A loud, collective groan came from each of the five teams. Blaineley put her hands on her hips for the cameras. "Well, you _have_ to do it, otherwise you're disqualified!" she yelled. "So perk up. Each team must choose _one person_ to drive for their team! Pick wisely. I'll be sitting _right here_."

Blaineley snapped her fingers, and the cameras shut off. Her expression resumed to that of a scowl, as she picked up an A&W Root Beer from an intern's ice chest, and sat in a plastic lawn chair.

**12:17 PM.**

"Okay, well, obviously I'm driving," North Dakota declared to her team. "Unless one of you are some kind of driving prodigy or whatever."

"But you don't even have your learner's permit," South Dakota whispered to her sister in the commotion. "Maybe we should find someone who does."

North Dakota rolled her eyes, and groaned. "Fiiine," she moaned. "Raise your hand if you have your license. I swear I saw a hand or two earlier."

Only Utah raised his hand. North Dakota narrowed her eyes at him. "You can drive?" she asked.

"I... um... yeah. I'm a race car driver. I told you guys before-"

"Sure. Whatever. You're up. Screw us over, and you're dead. Everyone cool with this?"

Of course, nobody spoke out. She nodded her head affirmatively. "Good. Utah is representing us because he says he can. This is _me_ trying to be _nice_ here."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_73_mp3**

"Of course I know that Utah can't actually drive. Do you guys think I'm an idiot or something? Like I said, I know about _everything_ that happens on this show. I'm letting Utah drive, because... for one thing, nobody on my team knows how to drive. And if we _do _lose, it gives everyone reason to blame _him_, and not me. Not that people would vote for me. I'm just saying."

North Dakota

**12:18 PM.**

"Okay, guys!" New York yelled, smiling. "This challenge is well-suited to us. I think we could win. But we need to figure out who among us can actually drive. So... let's raise our hands again."

Delaware, Maine, and New York himself all raised their hands. "Okay," New York said, impressed. "I didn't know so many of us actually knew how. So who actually _wants_ to drive?"

Only Delaware raised her hand now, with a smug, confident grin. "I've had my license for almost a year now," she informed them. "I think I could do this. I mean... it's just a driving test... right?"

New York shrugged, but smiled widely. "If you think you can do it, then I believe you," he told her seriously. Suddenly, New Jersey popped up beside her, and brightly told her, "Good luck, doll. I bet you're the best driver _on_ this show."

She sidled away from him slightly. "Right..." New York murmured. "Well, let's all wait for Blaineley to decide whenever it's time to begin the challenge."

**12:25 PM.**

"Alright, y'all!" Texas yelled to his team. "So, if we're all in agreement, Alabama's drivin'!"

The whole team had been bickering for the past ten minutes now over who should be the one to drive. Arkansas was the only person on the team who actually had his driver's license, but both Texas and Mississippi wanted Alabama to drive, because it was "in his NASCAR blood", or something. Arkansas hadn't really pushed very hard for himself to be permitted to drive, but Tennessee, Louisiana, and Georgia all wanted him to.

"Y'all ain't even got your learner's permit!" Tennessee argued. "Arkansas needs to drive!"

"No, really, no thanks, Tennessee, I don't care whether or not if I-"

"Well, _we_ do!" Tennessee yelled right back at Arkansas. "We won't lose if _you_ drive! This ain't a race, Bama!"

"We don't know that!" Alabama argued. "If I was Chris, and I was sittin' there thinkin' up challenges, I'd think of a race!"

"But we ain't got Chris no more! And besides, we already did a race!"

Texas whistled loudly. "We gotta choose," he reminded them all as he eyed Blaineley standing up from her chair. "An' I pick Bama. And that's that."

"Time is _up!_" Blaineley shouted at the five teams. "You've had _plenty_ of time to figure out who's driving. I want one person from each team to follow me. We'll be doing this challenge one at a time. First up is Team Democracy! But that's right after the break!"

Blaineley stared into the camera with a wide, dead smile for several moments. Everyone exchanged glances. Did she finally lose it?

"And we're back!" she said with a large flourish. "First up is Team Democracy. Send up your contestant!"

Delaware nervously stood up, and shuffled over to Blaineley, who gave her a pseud-endearing pat on the head. "What's-her-name here will be driving for Team Democracy!" Blaineley announced. "Young lady, go take a seat in the car with your _instructor!_"_  
_

Chef emerged, frowning deeply at Blaineley and the rest of the contestants. "I don't get paid 'nough for this..." he muttered, and climbed into the passenger seat of the car. He then patted the driver's seat with a huge hand. "Come on, girl!" he yelled from the car. "I don't got all day!"

Delaware carefully climbed into the driver's seat of the car. She checked her mirrors. She buckled her seat belt, and shifted into drive.

"I. Don't. Have. All. Day!" Chef reminded her. "I'm sorry! I'm _sorry!_" she cried, and began driving off. Chef leaned back in his seat. "Take a right up here!" he told her.

Delaware turned right at the stop sign. There were very few other vehicles around, but Chef's presence was making her shake physically. "Now take a left!" he barked. The car skidded as it turned, almost throwing Chef onto his side, had it not been for his seat belt, which somehow stretched all the way across his stomach. "Minus twelve points!" he yelled. "Don't be makin' more mistakes, now!"

Evidently, Chef's "encouragement" took such a toll on Delaware that when she pulled up to the sidewalk, as her team anxiously awaited her, Chef had taken off a total of thirty-three points, leaving her at just sixty-seven total. She was on the verge of tears as her team received her. Blaineley merely smiled widely at them all. "Team Democracy takes the lead with sixty-seven points!" she declared. "Who will be able to top it? Well... let's have Team Touchdown try their hand at it!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_74_mp3**

"I feel humiliated. I should have driven perfectly! Especially considering I'm one of the only people on this show who recently turned seventeen, thank you very much. It's not like my birthday was celebrated by more than a few people on here. But anyways... I should've driven better than I did. It's just... that Chef guy is so intimidating."

Delaware

**12:47 PM.**

Alabama climbed into the tiny little student driver car. Chef sat beside him, wearing an annoyed expression. "Let's see how well you can drive, ginger!" he barked. Alabama nodded in response, confident. He buckled his seat belt, and pulled out of the parking space.

"You didn't check yo' mirrors just then!" Chef yelled. "Minus six points!"

"Oh, my bad," Alabama quickly apologized. But then a fleeting idea suddenly took hold. "You watch football, Chef?"

"Do I watch - hell, _yeah_, I watch football! Them New Orleans Saints are gonna _take_ the national championship this year."

Alabama grinned smugly, as Chef was distracted by the talk of football. "Well," Alabama countered as he drove smoothly along the streets of Concord, "Y'all can't forget about them 49'ers. And 'specially not the Seahawks, after last year's super bowl. I'd bet on the..."

**1:02 PM.**

The tiny little vehicle pulled up to the sidewalk, and to the anxiously awaiting members of Team Touchdown. Chef climbed out of the car, and yelled, "Ninety-four points!"

A huge cheer rose from Team Touchdown, as everyone went to congratulate Alabama. "Dude," Texas whispered, "What'd you do?"

"Simple," Alabama said, smiling smugly. "I just started talking about football. He was so distracted that he never noticed I ran a red light at one point."

"Ninety-four points for Team Touchdown!" Blaineley announced, smiling wide for the cameras. "A very impressive performance, especially considering Alabama didn't even have his learner's permit! Up next... is Team Victory! Send up your competitor!"

Team Victory had made a vote to see who would drive. It was between Arizona and Washington. Washington had won by two votes, since New Mexico was the only one who faithfully voted for Arizona. Washington cautiously walked up, looking slightly apprehensive. "Oooh!" Blaineley croned. "The handsome ladies man from Team Victory!"

"Um, I don't think that accurately describes me-"

"Never you mind, Washington! So. Do you have your license?"

"Uh, I was going to get it before I got on the show, but some stuff happened, so I just have my learner's-"

"Fantastic! That means this is still legal. Hop in with Chef, and take him for a ride!"

Washington cautiously climbed into the car with Chef, who didn't seem too happy with the change in driver. "You know anythin' 'bout football?" Chef barked.

"Um, sort of - I mean, not really..."

Chef's scowl deepened. "Drive!" he ordered, and Washington obeyed.

...

Needless to say, Chef was not happy with Washington's driving. When the car pulled up, Washington immediately freed himself, stumbling out and wiping Chef's spittle off his glasses. "He just kept _yelling!_" Washington gasped. "He - he wouldn't stop - gah, I need to breathe-"

As Oregon and New Mexico helped support Washington, Blaineley asked, "So what's the final score, Chef?"

"Fifty-two! That boy needs to learn his _parallel parkin'!_"

"Uh oh!" Blaineley squealed, smiling at Team Victory's misfortune. "That puts you guys in last place! You six had better hope one of these other teams will be worse than _you_ kids were. Bring on out... North Dakota!"

Utah was rather roughly pushed forward. Blaineley appeared confused. "Sweetie, are you lost?" she asked in a sickly-sweet tone.

"Um... no, I'm driving for Team Dakota..."

"Oh," Blaineley deadpanned. "Well. That was unexpected. Um... you can... hop in the car, I guess..."

Utah did as he was instructed. Funnily enough, the last two months had made him exceptionally receptive to receiving orders from superiors. "Hi. I drive race cars," he told Chef as he buckled up.

A lone eyebrow rose on Chef's visage. "Oh, really, now?" he asked. "Do these look like race tracks to you, boy? This is a _neighborhood_."

"Right! Right!" Utah exclaimed, inspecting the mirrors. "I know, I just meant, I drive stock cars sometimes, and... never mind."

Utah changed gears out of park, and drove right behind him into the back of a parked car.

**1:23 PM.**

"I didn't _mean_ to put it in reverse!" Utah exclaimed, as he and South Dakota inspected the damage. "Usually on stock cars you switch gears the opposite direction! How was I supposed to know that would put it in reverse?"

"Because it _says R_," North Dakota shouted in his face. "R means _reverse_. Or, in your case, retard."

Blaineley was yelling at a bunch of insurance agents, who had been waiting this entire time in case something happened. Once she finished, she turned to the contestants with a grim face. "Contestants!" she yelled. "Due to the damage the car has incurred, it will unfortunately not be able to be used in this challenge any more. In addition, due to Team Dakota's simply _outstanding performance_, Chef has awarded Utah..."

"Ten points!" he yelled. "For wearin' yo' seat belt."

"Ah. Ten points," Blaineley repeated, as every team but Team Dakota celebrated. "However, there is a bright side to all this!" she continued, interrupting the jubilation. "The insurance company has decided to give us one extra rental car! Because this show happens to have incredibly good insurance. I mean, we weren't going to have fifty underage teenagers partying for six months without some insurance to back it all up. So, it looks like Team America will be doing the challenge after all!"

What used to be joyful celebration in Team America instantly turned to gloom. "Oh, no..." Maryland murmured. "I think we _are_ cursed. We're going to lose this, aren't we?"

"We are _not_ cursed!" Ohio yelled. "We're sticking to the plan. Virginia drives, and we do better than Utah, which shouldn't _really be that much of a challenge_. Alright? Now stop being so pessimistic about everything. Virginia, you're up."

Virginia gulped, and stepped forward towards Blaineley, as a new car pulled up. Chef climbed in the passenger seat, and patted on the driver's seat with a wicked grin. "Go on!" Blaineley urged her. "I wanna get this done before two."

Virginia climbed into the car, strapping herself into the driver's seat. She checked her mirrors. She buckled her seat belt. She even indicated as she pulled out of the parking space, and drove out onto the road.

...

And twenty minutes later, the brand new car arrived with a dent in the hood. Blaineley was fuming.

"_Seriously?_" she screamed as Virginia climbed out of the car to inspect the damage. "I give you kids a _brand new car_ and you _trash it immediately?_"

"To be fair, it was just a stop sign," Virginia remarked, as Chef climbed out. Blaineley rubbed her forehead. "Well?" she asked. "What's the score? I am sick to _death_ of challenges that require a lot of legal documentation afterwards."

Chef scratched his chin, looking around at a desperate Team America. "Ehhh..." he grunted. "I... give... twenty points. For actually makin' it onto the road for a while."

The six from Team America all cheered, clapping their hands and whooping. Blaineley sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Okay... okay, great," she mumbled. "Team Dakota, I'll see you all... in voting. I need to lie down for a while."

**7:00 PM.**

A tired Blaineley looked around at a distraught Team Dakota. A waxing half moon shone high above, as a gentle breeze rustled the green leaves of the New Hampshire trees. Blaineley held a bag of marshmallows in her bag, and didn't seem to be too happy to be there.

"When I call your name, blah-blah-blah, marshmallows. Go to cab, never come back, yadda-yadda-yadda. Even though we _all_ know who's going home tonight."

Everyone looked pointedly at Utah, who was fighting to suppress the tears. Blaineley yawned, and began tossing the fluffed treats. "Colorado, Kansas. North Dakota. Oklahoma. South Dakota. Zero votes for all."

The five who had their names called all caught their marshmallows. Blaineley raised an eyebrow. "This is also the first Team Dakota voting ceremony in which North Dakota has _not_ gotten a vote," Blaineley remarked. "Intriguing. But this just leaves Nebraska and Utah."

Nebraska was incredibly confused. "Wait, me?" he asked. "Why did I get a vote?"

Blaineley smiled mischievously, and shrugged. "I dunno. But you get the last marshmallow. Like that was a surprise. Utah, you got six votes. Pack it up and go home."

Nebraska rounded on Utah, confused. "Utah? What the hell?" he asked accusingly. "Why'd you vote for me?"

Utah glared back at Nebraska. "Because you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Utah shrugged in response pointedly. "It means you and Minnesota were planning to do something, but failed. It was _your duty_ to finish what she started."

"Whoa, hold on," Nebraska said nervously, stepping back. "I wasn't a part of that, let's all be civil, here-"

"No. You're letting this team go to the _shits_ because you're too afraid to get everyone to vote for North Dakota. Admit it. Without Minnesota to lead you, you've got no purpose, and are too afraid to even raise a _single hand_ in opposition to this bitch."_  
_

Utah jerked a thumb towards North Dakota, who raised an eyebrow. "Utah. Get out of here," she commanded. Utah shrugged. "Whatever. If only I'd gotten into Team Victory. Maybe then I'd actually have an _efficient team_."

"But North Dakota is quite right. You need to go," Blaineley reminded, and tossed a large duffel bag into his arms. "Go on, Utah! Your ride's waiting."

Utah stared out at his team for a moment longer, and then departed. Blaineley smiled widely at the remaining six contestants on Team Dakota. "Well! We've had a good run so far," she told them. "Two months in! How will the next few fare? And who will be voted off next? Find out next time on The Fifty State Roadtrip!"

There was a silence. After a while, Kansas asked, "Um. Are you talking to us?"

Blaineley glared at him as the cameras shut off. "Who do you think you are?" she yelled. "Interrupting me in the middle of an outro. Be grateful I don't kick your sorry ass off this show this instant. Now get back in your buses and shut up until the next challenge."

**9:29 PM.**

The Toronto South Detention Centre. Late evening.

Chris was sobbing in the corner of his cell. He hadn't left it all day. His meals were now delivered to him via a flap in the door. He hadn't even touched the food, instead choosing to cry silently into his mashed potatoes. His orange prison garments were dirty from him lying on the floor all day, even though he had a perfectly good bunk bed. After a while, Chris sat up, bleary eyed. There was a knock on his prison door.

"Go away!" he screamed, chucking his milk carton at the metal. "I'm - I'm _filming!_ Where are my interns? Are they here yet?"

"You dumbass!" a gruff voice yelled. "It's me!"

Chris's eyes flew open. "Wait... it can't be..."

The door was slowly opened, revealing Chef, standing there in his mucky old clothes as usual. He had his arms crossed. "We're bustin' outta here!" he yelled. And instantly, Chris was the happiest man in the world. "Yes!" he cried. "We're breaking out! Ahahahahahahaaa! I knew I could count on you, Chef! I _knew_ you'd come for me!"

"Whatever. You comin' or nah?"

"Will you carry me out?"

Chef crossed his arms in disgust. "I want a raise!" he barked.

"Done. And you're back on the show. Man, we are _busting _out of here!"

As Chef carried Chris out of the cell over his shoulder, he spoke into his walkie-talkie, "I got him, Miss. We gonna be outside in just a few minutes. He ain't thinkin' straight, though."

"_Doesn't matter,_" a female voice responded. "_Chris's bail is paid. You've got him thinking you're breaking him out, yes? __Bring him to the station. We'll have him reeducated soon enough._"

"Uhhh..." Chef muttered into the radio, "Don't mean to be rude or nothin', but... _why_ exactly are we lettin' Chris off on all that stuff he did?"

"_Because these fans are driving me crazy! They won't let us out of the building. And ratings have absolutely plummeted since Agent B was enacted host. I've got no choice but to give everyone what they want: Chris._"

******ELIMINATED:** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, and Utah.

**aspiringAnimator** - Short author's note today, because I'm out of time and I'm not sure whether or not you guys actually read these notes or are annoyed by them. One of the chapters was in the wrong order. After I put the table of contents in, for some reason episodes two and three switched places and they stayed like that for a week. It's fixed now, I just wanted to clarify.

Follow, favorite, and review! I'm loving how people are keeping up with the story. If you've actually read this far without skipping anything, well, you are a _true fan_. And don't worry. Things will begin to heat up for everyone in the upcoming episodes. This is the highly-touted ACT 2, after all.


	20. Just Plane Terrible

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Maryland, North Carolina, Ohio, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 19: JUST PLANE TERRIBLE**

_"The fans don't mean __anything! _They are there to provide _ratings, _and that is _it!" - Blaineley_

**Sunday, September 7th, 2014. Arches National Park, Utah. 6:54 AM.**

Utah.

A state of beauty, of elegance, of wilderness, and of...

Beehives?

No, seriously. Utah is called the "beehive state". Nobody knows why. It is a mystery, and one that could probably never be solved. It is, perhaps, the ultimate riddle.

Five buses, carrying just thirty-two contestants now, slowly made their way through this state of beauty and isolation. A pale September sun peeked over a mountain to the east. Multicolored sand dunes rolled all around them, creating the appearance of a wavy expanse of sand that extended for miles. This was Arches National Park, a chunk of undisturbed land, perfect for hosting the next challenge for The Fifty State Roadtrip.

Most of the contestants were currently asleep, as everyone's sleeping schedules were always ravaged by traveling all over the country every few days. However, in Team America's bus, two young individuals were still awake.

North Carolina and Indiana chatted in the living quarters of their bus, as a warm orange light drifted in through the windows.

"Wow. They made you wear a _uniform_ at your school?"

"Yeah..." North Carolina confirmed, blinking sleepily. "Everyone had to wear them. I'm surprised there are schools that don't make you."

Indiana shook her head slowly, thinking. "I knew a system like that existed, I just thought... it was sort of rare," she admitted. "At my school, they just sort of let us wear what we wanted, as long as it was appropriate."

North Carolina let her head fall back, and groaned. "God. I wish I could just wear what I want during school. I'm kind of relieved that I don't have to go this semester."

"Tell me about it. You think your friends are rooting for you back home?"

North Carolina thought for a moment. "Hmm. I'm not sure," she admitted. "Actually... I'm kind of not _wanting_ to go back home at the moment. I mean, yeah, my sister is there, and my family, but... I didn't want to be famous or anything. I just thought this would be a fun thing to do for a while."

Indiana laughed, and swept her red hair out of her eyes. "Yeah. Because this show has been the most absolutely joyful adventure yet. Especially with this brand new 'host'."

She then tossed a pointed look at the upper corner, where she assumed a hidden camera was located. After all, everyone was being filmed all the time, no matter what, no exceptions.

**7:57 AM.**

Team Democracy's bus. Early morning. As the five buses approached their destination, our faithful contestants had finally begun to rouse from their slumber and do something interesting for once.

Massachusetts was frying eggs on the stove, while Delaware helped with the spices, and Maine set up a chess board. The lone, tiny TV on the bus was tuned into the nearest local news station, which was showing an advertisement for the local fair.

"Breakfast is ready!" Massachusetts called. "Scrambled eggs. If you want some, come and get it."

His teammates began lining up for the food. This was all standard procedure now, ever since Massachusetts began cooking for the team in mid-July. As Delaware stood awaiting with a plate in hand, New Jersey popped up behind her.

"Hey, Delaware," he murmured, grabbing for a styrofoam plate. She inched slightly away, and muttered. "Oh, hi... New Jersey. Did... you need something?"

"Oh, no, no, just... sayin' hey," he responded nervously, as New York surveyed the two with a disapproving stare. New Jersey scooped up some eggs and bacon onto his plate, almost knocking the spoon right out of Delaware's hand. "Oh, sorry, sorry," he quickly stammered. After a long pause, he plucked up the courage, and slowly asked, "Uh, Delaware... I thought you'd want to - er, no - I was wonderin' if you'd... maybe... want... to go out sometime?"

Delaware blinked, and sighed, as though she'd been expecting this for a long time. As the bus grew silent with anticipation, since it was near-impossible not to eavesdrop, Delaware slowly stated, "Um... I'd rather not."

"What? Why? I mean... yeah, that's hella cool - and - and all, but, yo, don't leave me hangin' here-"

"Because I don't really like you that much."

Delaware winced, as though she herself didn't like what she was saying, but that it needed to be said regardless. "You're..." Delaware began, trying to articulate as a few of her teammates left the room in a hurry, "you're... just kind of... too... pushy? And... that might have been okay for some of your friends back home, but... jeez, how do I say this..."

As Massachusetts became the last to leave, carrying his plate of scrambled eggs and taking care not to spill any, he left just New York, Delaware, and New Jersey in the main room. "What Delaware's trying to say, Jersey," New York cut in, looking earnestly into New Jersey's eyes, "is that she'd just prefer to be left alone right now, and... if you really like her, or care for her, or whatever, that you should give her some space."

"...oh."

New Jersey took a few steps back. His plate of scrambled eggs went abandoned on the table. "I... yeah, no, it's... it's cool, bros, I just... yeah..."

He exited in a hurry. New York and Delaware exchanged glances nervously.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_75_mp3**

"Man, I think I blew it. It's over. Any chance of me hookin' up with Delaware are _gone_, yo. I was tryin' to do what New York said! Y'know, bein' courteous an' shit! Sayin' 'please' an' 'thank you' like I'm some Puritan gentleman 'bout to visit his estate in the god damned seventeenth century. Ughhh... man, I don't _need_ any of this right now..."

New Jersey

**8:22 AM.**

Team Dakota's bus. Her team had awoken at eight AM, like they always do, and were currently seated around the tiny kitchen table and eating. North Dakota sat rigidly next to her sister on the couch, and was smirking at the iPod Touch in her hands.

"_Minnesota? Why exactly do you have a phone in your pocket?_"

"_Yeah, Minnesota! Don't you know you're not supposed to have phones on this show?_"

"_I - what - how did this even get here - this isn't mine!_"

"_This isn't your phone?_"

"_Well - I mean, it is - but I gave it back, I swear - wait-_"

"_Sorry, Minnesota! You are disqualified! Head to the cab of losers right over there-_"

"_THAT BITCH!_"

North Dakota burst out laughing at the last part, and paused the video. "Ohhh, I was in my best form then, sis," she mused, giggling at Minnesota's previous fate. "Best voting ceremony yet. Serves her right, too."

South Dakota, on the other hand, looked a little less enthusiastic about taunting people from her team, regardless of whether or not they were still on the show. "Hey... North?" she quietly muttered. "I... I don't think it's so good to make fun of people like that..."

"No, no, watch this part, South," North Dakota assured her sister, and scrolled to a new part of the video.

"_Into the taxi you go!_"

"_SHE CHEATED! Everyone! Remember what I said! She will take you down without hesitation! I-_"_  
_

"_Bye! Have a fun ride back home! Alright, kids, we gotta be in Minnesota by this weekend. Who wants to play 'evade my network producers and become heroes'? I do!_"

North Dakota was giggling uncontrollably at the old footage, as Oklahoma and Colorado stood to empty their trash and leave. Nobody spoke but North and South Dakota. It was usually forbidden, and by this point everyone was too timid and obedient to argue otherwise.

**9:09 AM.**

Team Touchdown's own bus slowly rolled along the highways of Utah, following directly behind Team Democracy's. Huge, puffy clouds lined the horizon, which was dotted with rocky mountains all around.

Texas and Alabama were somewhere in the back of the bus, probably playing cards as they claimed. Most of the girls were watching the CampTV reality show "Big Sister" in the living quarters. Arkansas was reading a newspaper.

"Isn't this show kind of stupid?" Louisiana suddenly pointed out, frowning at the tiny screen. "Like, this ain't reality TV. All they doin' is livin' with each other. It ain't like they have to travel all over the country."

"I know, right?" Mississippi agreed, inspecting her nails. "This show is _waaay_ better than that one."

Nods were exchanged all among the girls of the bus. There was a rather long pause, which was only broken by Tennessee minutes later.

"Um... hey, y'all, is it just me, or... are Bama and Tex gettin' kind of... I dunno... aggressive?"

The girls exchanged nervous glances. Georgia slunk deeper into her seat. "Like," Tennessee explained clumsily, "The way they've... I guess... taken leadership as somethin' they _have_ to have, know what I mean? And who says they even get to make all the decisions anyway? Is it just 'cause they're guys? Why can't some of us girls-"

"Um, Tennessee," Mississippi hastily muttered, "Maybe it's not such a good idea to be thinkin' some of those things-"

"Why not? We're a _team_. That means we work together for everyone's benefit! Arkansas, you agree, right?"

Arkansas suddenly looked up from the newspaper, glancing around nervously. "Huh?" was all he uttered.

"You agree that we shouldn't all be led by just Bama and Tex, right?"

Arkansas glanced awkwardly between Mississippi and Tennessee. Louisiana just rolled her eyes and redirected her attention back to the show. "Uh..." Arkansas mumbled, "I dunno. They're okay guys, I guess... they're sometimes funny, and good to be around."

Tennessee rolled her eyes, and sighed, as Arkansas just went back to reading his newspaper.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_76_mp3**

"I ain't tryin' to start some sort of rebellion here. Alright? I don't wanna pull a Florida and cause a big stink 'bout all this. Now, I like Bama and Tex. They're real cool dudes. But they need to give some of the girls a chance to do somethin' for our team! They can't be the stars of the show all the time."

Tennessee

**9:42 AM.**

"Gooood _morning_, everyone!" Blaineley squealed as thirty-two contestants carefully climbed out of the five buses in the middle of the desert expanse of Utah. A warm sun blasted everyone as a greeting; even though it was now September, there was no saying goodbye to the heat just yet.

New Mexico stretched as he climbed out of Team Victory's bus, his iconic shades glinting a reflected sunlight. "What are we doin' today?" he asked, yawning. Blaineley smiled widely in response. "We're flying planes!" she announced, gesturing spastically to a long, flat expanse of dusty pavement not far away, that vaguely resembled a runway.

Just about everyone looked absolutely _terrified_ at the instant she said that. Blaineley pushed on, "Although... I... _haven't_ been getting any calls from my network's producers, nor will they answer my messages on what challenge we _were_ supposed to do today, I've decided to whip something up myself! So, behold! The Grand County board of public tourism has allowed the rent of five small, single propeller planes for use on our show today. And one person from each of your teams is going to be flying them. It'll be a _race!_ And don't worry. All of the pilots will have headsets, for use in contacting each other while in the air! Neat, huh?"

Nervous glances were exchanged between the contestants. Blaineley couldn't really be serious, could she? Now, more than ever, everyone was severely wishing Chris was back. But in reality, Chris would probably be doing the same sadistic shit to them regardless, but in a more amusing and friendly manner.

**9:47 AM.**

"Okay, guys," a grim-faced Washington muttered, approaching the five members of his team. "As much as I hate this, we've got to pick a person from our team to fly one of these planes. Now, before we go any further, do _any_ of you happen to have _any_ flying experience whatsoever?"

Hawaii raised his hand, to the surprise of just about everyone. "Yo, I do," he said nonchalantly. "Well, I mean, sort of. My uncle runs a tourist trap back home, and takes people on all these tours of Hawaii by plane. I've done the flying a few times."

Washington breathed a huge sigh of relief, as all the members of Team Victory whooped and cheered. "Fantastic, then!" Washington exclaimed, a huge smile on his visage. "We'll do that, then, if you don't mind."

Hawaii shrugged, a small grin on his face. "No biggie. It's good to get some practice, anyways."

**9:51 AM.**

Ohio held six straws in his hand. They were cut at different lengths, but were positioned in his grip in a way that made it impossible to tell how long each were. He looked seriously at each of his teammates: Virginia, Indiana, North Carolina, Maryland, and Illinois. "Everyone take a straw," he muttered. "The person with the shortest straw... has to fly for us. Since evidently nobody here actually knows how."

As Maryland grabbed one, she exclaimed, "_Nobody_ on this show knows how! This is a suicide challenge. But we've got to do it anyways, so..."

Each contestant took a straw. Ohio kept the one nobody picked, and then everyone inspected their straws.

Virginia was fortunate enough to have the longest, but North Carolina had picked the shortest straw. She groaned, and covered her eyes with her hands. "Why me?" she whispered. "I don't know how to fly!"

"It's simple," Indiana comforted. "Or, at least, it's simple for a death machine with a whirling blade that lets it _fly_. It's like driving a car, except one without wheels, and it can fly, and there's no normal steering wheel, and you have to land it, and... wow, I'm not explaining this well, am I?"

North Carolina shook her head, looking outright terrified now. "Look," Ohio stated, "just do your best and try not to die. Alright? If we're lucky, someone will crash before the challenge even ends. And I can bet you that won't be us."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_77_mp3**

"I really hope that what Ohio says is true and that we're not cursed. But, hell, we keep losin' challenges! Sometimes people tell me I'm a bit too, uh, what's the word... super... superstitious? But how can you say that we're _not_ cursed? I mean, just look at what happened _this_ challenge! We're not even sure if North Carolina's gonna ever be able to walk again."

Virginia

**9:54 AM.**

"Everyone in your planes!" Blaineley cheered, waving her hands around a lot unnecessarily. Team America and Team Victory's contestants were North Carolina and Hawaii, respectively. From Team Democracy, Maine would be flying. North Dakota would, of course be representing Team Dakota, and Texas was going to fly for Team Touchdown. "Your objective is the great stone spire about a mile from here to the north! Loop around that, and come back here! First team to successfully land wins! If any planes crash... then that team's going to the voting ceremony."

The camera crews got into place, as one person from each team nervously climbed into a plane. With a turn of the key and a flick of the wrist, each plane started up, single propellers on the front now spinning wildly. Blaineley grinned at the spectacle, as though she were about to witness a grand fireworks display. "When I count to three, take off, and head north!" she shouted over the din. "One! Two..."

"Three!"

Slowly, each of the five planes began to move, gaining speed along the runway remarkably quickly. Hawaii's plane began to lift into the air miraculously; and one by one, each plane slowly rose up off the ground.

"Um, hey... Blaineley?" Washington suddenly said, tugging on the host's shirt. She looked down at him, snarling, "What? What's your deal?"

"Uh... is it _legal_ to have five planes flying that close together, when none of the pilots have their licenses?"

...

Blaineley smiled pseudo-sweetly, and patted Washington on the head. "You are just so _cute!_" was the only response she gave him.

**10:01 AM.**

"Radio check, one, two, three!" Texas yelled into his microphone as his plane soared over the desert expanse of Arches National Park. "Come in. Do y'all have your headsets on yet?"

"_I have mine on!_" Maine's voice yelled into his ear. "_Same_," North Carolina nervously notified. "_Copy that. Team Victory is here too,_" Hawaii stated. And seconds later, North Dakota muttered, "_Yeah. I'm here. But don't expect me to be friendly with you guys_."_  
_

"I ain't sayin' that!" Texas yelled into his headset, glancing to the left outside his window. About a hundred feet away, North Dakota's plane precariously flew. "But like it or not, we're gonna have to work together to do this challenge. Alright? Now, let's just state the obvious, and know that _if we crash_, we're probably gonna die. So let's make sure that _none_ of us crash. I'm serious, y'all. No tricks, alright, North Dakota? I know you looove all them tricks."

"_Yeah. I've got all kinds of magic tricks. Like making you disappear right off the show._"_  
_

"Real funny. We only gotta do this for a little bit, an' then we land, and we'll all be fine. Look sharp, now. There's one of them arches up ahead. Do we gotta fly through these?"

"_Yes, yes you do!_" Blaineley's voice erupted into Texas's ears. "_Everyone has to fly through the arches! There's only one on the route to the spire, though, so make it count!_"

The sound of North Carolina groaning could be heard through the headset. Texas frowned. "You alright?" he yelled. "Who was that?"

"_Me_," North Carolina whined. "_Sorry. I'm just terrified out of my wits right now._"

"_You're not alone, then__,_" Maine reassured her. "_The only 'flying experience' I ever got was playing Kirby Air Ride with my little brother on the Gamecube._"

The arch was approaching. "_Watch your wings, everyone!_" Hawaii reminded. "_Don't let them clip the edges of the arch. Just keep it all steady._"

"_God, I hate inter-team teamwork..._" North Dakota lamented, as if nobody could hear her quietly mutter that.

Slowly, Texas pushed down on his controls - the plane began to descend toward the naturally-created arch - and just like that, he sped right through, ending up ahead of the others. Behind him, the other teams' planes miraculously made it through the arch.

"_Ohhh, oh my god, oh my god..._" North Carolina mumbled to herself. "_Ohhh-kay. Okay, I did it, I'm not dead, yes..._"

A small chuckle was heard from Hawaii. "_You alright?_" he asked. "_Try not to let the flying overwhelm you. We're already almost halfway there._"

True to his word, a tall stone spire could be seen not far in the distance. "We've just gotta loop around that, and then fly back to the strip!" Texas proclaimed, concentrating on not jittering his controls too much. "The hard part's gonna be landin', y'all. Everyone just take it easy."

One by one, the five planes swooped around the tall obelisk. As they carefully steadied out once that was over, Hawaii had overtaken Texas. North Dakota was in last, surprisingly, just behind North Carolina.

"Keep 'er steady!" Texas yelled. "We're halfway there. It's time to fly back to the runway and land. Make sure to watch out for that arch. We gotta go through it again, don't we?"

"_That's correct!_" Blaineley shouted into his eardrums. "_And remember, last team to land wins!_"

"Right, right, got it..." Texas muttered, glancing at Hawaii up ahead of him. "Y'all, the arch is comin' up, we might wanna get into place-"

"_North Dakota is getting too close to me!_" North Carolina cried, panicked. "_Back off! I won't be able to make it through the arch if you're this close!_"

"_Hey! North Dakota, play fair, stay away from North Carolina!_" Hawaii could be heard yelling. "_North Dakota. Come in. Do you copy? I know you can hear me._"

The arch was approaching rather quickly now. Texas glanced behind him out the window; North Dakota's plane was certainly closing in on North Carolina's. "What are y'all doin' back there?" Texas asked into his head piece. There was no response from North Dakota, only nervous squealing from North Carolina. Up ahead, Hawaii soared through the arch - next came Texas - Maine - and then-

BOOM. North Carolina's plane's wing clipped a leg of the arch. With one of her wings gone, her single propeller plane began soaring down, spinning wildly out of control-

"_Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-_"

"Shit! North Carolina's down!" Texas yelled into his headset. A gasp was heard, and then an "_Oh my god!_" from Maine. A few seconds later, a second boom could be heard, this one louder, and more crushing. There were now only four planes in the sky. "_NORTH DAKOTA! COME IN. DO YOU READ?_" Hawaii screamed, as the runway neared. With a twitch of his controls, Texas steadily landed right after Hawaii. Maine came in third, and North Dakota was now in fourth.

As Texas unbuckled his seatbelt, Blaineley came sprinting up, waving her hands as usual and looking positively outraged. "What the _fuck_ just happened?" she screamed, throwing a clipboard down on the ground. "Where's Team America's contestant?" she asked. "What _happened?_"

"She _crashed!_" Hawaii screamed, pointing at North Dakota. "North Dakota _killed her!_"_  
_

"Oh my god. No. This isn't happening," Maine sobbed, as North Dakota herself countered, "I didn't - what? Me? You're mistaken. She was a bad pilot."

Blaineley had her head in her hands, thinking for a moment, as the rest of the contestants began sprinting up. "Where's North Carolina?" Indiana yelled, looking mortified. "What happened?"

"North Dakota killed her!" Hawaii screamed again.

"Hang on, y'all, we don't know if she's dead or not," Texas reminded them all.

"Then - oh, my god - _has nobody called an ambulance yet? _Jesus _CHRIST!_ This isn't a cartoon! She might be _dying!_"

Now even North Dakota looked worried. "None of us have phones anymore, though," she quietly whispered, no longer as loud and commanding as she once was.

"Then we use Blaineley's phone. Blaineley. Stop being so pathetic and let us use your phone," Indiana stated determinedly, hand outstretched. Blaineley looked up slowly, eyes wide. "Huh?" was all she uttered, and Indiana flew into a rage.

"YOU. ARE. SUPPOSED. TO. BE. THE. _ADULT_," Indiana seethed. "But since you're too busy being a crybaby, that responsibility's fallen upon us. Now let us use your phone to actually do something about this. Since _someone_ decided, 'oh, wow, it'd be an absolutely _fantastic_ idea to take away all electronics from contestants!'"_  
_

"No... no, yeah, use my phone," Blaineley whispered, looking terrified at what was going on, and "powerless" to do anything about it. Indiana grabbed it, and dialed for an ambulance, as the rest of Team America sprinted off north to find North Carolina's crashed plane.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_78_mp3**

"Okay. Here goes. I'm... sorry about what I did. Really, I am. I did _not_ mean for it to go like that. I just... kind of... wanted... North Carolina to, like, have to fly away from me, and pull back! I didn't think she would be an idiot about it and fly straight into the arch. But... yeah... I feel awful about it now. I just didn't want to lose another damned challenge."

North Dakota

**10:53 AM.**

About half an hour had passed. More than thirty contestants from varying teams were all sitting around, eating pizza from about a dozen boxes. As Oregon bit into a slice next to him, Massachusetts commented, "Funny. It takes almost an hour for an ambulance to arrive, and half an hour for _pizza_ to arrive."

"Well, we are pretty much in the middle of nowhere," Washington added. "Nearest big hospital's not for a hundred miles. But yeah, this is getting ridiculous. At least the park has a decent Domino's."

Oregon nodded rapidly to that, as Blaineley strode around, biting her fingernails. A few feet away, North Carolina laid on a mattress taken from her own bunk. She was still unconscious, though had briefly woken up about ten minutes earlier, in which she threw a pebble at North Dakota's foot, laughed, and then fell unconscious once more.

Ohio was looking annoyed at all this. "I can't believe this," he had repeatedly stated over the past hour. "Now one of my teammates isn't as useful anymore." Whenever Indiana heard this, she chucked an empty pizza box at him.

But finally, at almost eleven AM, distant sirens could be heard. "Finally..." Hawaii muttered, who had witnessed North Carolina's catastrophe first-hand. And, sure enough, the ambulance showed up, and two bored-looking paramedics hopped out.

"We'll take 'er, ma'am," one said, and unfolded a yellow and white gurney. They both lifted North Carolina's unconscious body onto it, and rolled it into the ambulance. "What's her name?" one of the paramedics finally asked. "Y'know, so we can get back with you guys 'bout it."

"Oh... what?" Blaineley said, still somewhat dazed. "Oh. North Carolina."

The paramedic scoffed. "Yeah. Right. And my name is Ireland. Seriously. What's the girl's real name?"

"How am I supposed to know?" Blaineley yelled, waving her arms around as her hair only got messier and messier. "Her name is North Carolina! Write that down!"

His eyebrows rose, but the paramedic finally consented, scribbling on his clipboard rapidly. "Right. We'll be in touch," he informed her. "Miss... 'Mildred Stacey Andrews O'Halloran-'"

"Yes! Great! Thank you!" Blaineley quickly yelled, waving the paramedics away. "That's barely my name! But go on. You have ambulancing to do."

As the ambulance drove away, carrying North Carolina, Blaineley sighed, rubbing her eyes. "Listen, kids," she said to everyone, "I've tried over and over again to tell the producers what's happened, but either they're ignoring me, or I can't get any phone service out in this wasteland. I am utterly exhausted. How about we all call it a day?"

At least this could be agreed on by everyone. Blaineley waved a weary hand, and shouted, "Into the buses, everyone! And yes, Team America, you still have to go through with the voting ceremony. Best get to it."

**6:54**

A September sun dipped below the horizon, letting its gold hues evaporate over all the land, giving way to the stars. Team America's bus sat all alone in the middle of a convenience store parking lot in a small town near the national park. Five teenagers all sat around Blaineley.

"Come on... she should be here any minute," Blaineley whined, checking her watch. But, lo and behold, an ambulance finally pulled up, letting out its occupant: North Carolina. She was in a full body cast, and being rolled around in a wheelchair. "Oh, finally," Blaineley sighed. "Wheel her over here for the voting. Is she stupid or something now? Can she still communicate with us?"

"Yes, I can," North Carolina seethed, scowling at Blaineley. "But do go on. I am absolutely exploding with excitement for this voting ceremony."

"Well, great!" Blaineley said, now smiling again. "Viewers, we are now going to begin tonight's voting ceremony! Team America will be the _first team ever_ to be taken down to only five contestants! The votes are in. It's now time to find out... who will be going."

She held a bag of marshmallows in her hand. She smiled widely, as a voice cried out, "_You're_ the one who'll be going, Blaineley!"

Blaineley looked annoyed. "Who said that?" she yelled. "Is that...?"

None other than _Chris_ emerged from the shadows, Chef by his side. He was wearing a brand new pair of shades, and smiling brilliantly. "Who wants _snacks?_" he asked. He spotted the bag of marshmallows in Blaineley's hand. "Are those marshmallows?" he suddenly asked. "Get those out of here."

"I - _what_ - CHRIS, how did you get here?" Blaineley shouted, taking a few steps back. "You're supposed to be in jail!"

"And you're supposed to be planning the next Aftermath show!" Chris said, smiling bemusedly as the contestants of Team America realized what was going on. "Tut tut, Blaineley. What are you doing on the set of my show? This is no place for someone of your... girth? Let's go with girth."

"You're - _you're insane!_ Chef! Chef, do your job and arrest this man!"

"I am doin' my job!" he yelled, arms crossed and smirking slightly. "And that's bein' back on this show and doin' _Chef Things_. An' you gonna have to go."

Blaineley was now panicking. She raised her microphone over her head, and seemingly out of Chris's reach. "You can't make me!" she cried. "This is _my show now!_ Your producers - I mean, _my producers_ said so! They told me I would _take your job! _You almost killed a few contestants almost a month ago from some major explosives!"

"Ahem. Correction? Minor explosives," Chris stated as-a-matter-of-factly, grinning at Blaineley's predicament. "And if the current video logs are to be correct, _you_ almost killed a contestant _just today_ by enacting an _unauthorized challenge!_ I'm sorry, Blaineley, but the fans have _spoken_. And they have chosen Chris McLean as their master."

"The fans don't mean _anything!_" Blaineley screeched, hand in her hair, and raising her microphone higher. "They are there to provide _ratings, _and that is _it!_ They are ungrateful little teenagers who have the pure _laziness_ to watch this garbage!"

"Ahem. Blaineley? You're on camera right now. Those 'ungrateful little teenagers' can hear you."

"I. Don't. _Care!_" she screamed. "You can't make me leave! I don't care what any of you say! This is _my show!_ All the contestants love me!"

Indiana scoffed at that, and crossed her arms, annoyed. "Yeah. Speak for yourself. I'm pretty sure _not everyone's_ a _huge fan_ of you, Blaineley."

Blaineley gave Indiana the finger, right when Chef scooped up the old host. "Hey!" she yelled, slamming her fists on the man's muscular arms. "Put me down! That is an _order!_"

"Take her away, Chef!" Chris yelled, with a wave of his hand and a grin on his face. He then faced the six members of Team America. "Wow. Down to six, huh?" he asked. "I leave you kids for just a _few weeks_... right, let's have a look here... ah, no surprise. When I call your name, you get a SNACK. Not a marshmallow. Seriously. What was she thinking? Snacks are the coolest."

Illinois began clapping his hands at that, but was quickly shushed by Ohio. As the screams and yells of Blaineley receded into the distance, Chris finally began, happy to once more be the host of The Fifty State Roadtrip. "Illinois, Indiana, Maryland, and Virginia!" he yelled, tossing candy to each of them. "Zero votes for the lot of ya. Seems like everyone picked two people to vote for tonight. Ohio... and North Carolina."

All gazes drifted towards North Carolina, who grunted in annoyance, stuck in her stiff, full body cast. Chris raised his eyebrows. "Looks like this team's gone terrible," he muttered. "Seriously, I liked this team at the start. You guys didn't lose a challenge until, like, eight challenges in! What happened? Well, whatever. The final snack goes to...

...

...

...

"Ohio!"

Ohio grabbed at a sailing bag of gummy worms gratefully. Chris looked at him seriously, and said, "Two votes, Ohio. Looks like North Carolina wasn't the only one who voted for you. But my lips are sealed. Sorry, North Carolina, it looks like your team just doesn't see you as useful anymore!"

"Whatever," North Carolina mumbled, looking just a little crestfallen. "Just take me towards the taxi so I can leave."

Indiana decided to take up this honor, standing to be the one to push North Carolina to her cab. Indiana seemed somewhat depressed.

Chris, frowning slightly at the spectacle, now turned to face the cameras. "So! It looks like I'm back on the show," he stated again, smiling genuinely. "It's great to be back. Heh. Another contestant down from Team America! Could it be the result of this 'curse' I've heard about? And will... well, okay, I don't actually have anything else to say. It's been a while! Catch me and The Fifty State Roadtrip on Wednesdays and weekends this fall on CampTV! Annnd... we good?" Chris gave a thumbs up to the camera men. "Alright. We're good."

Unlikely Blaineley, Chris just kept on smiling after the cameras stopped rolling. He was born for television. "So! Kids. I'm glad to be back," he greeted. "Hope you guys are ready for some _actually_ good challenges, because I've got something... _special_ in mind for the next one. But you'll just have to wait! Because we've gotta be in North Carolina by Wednesday, and we're half a continent away. Into the buses we go!"

******ELIMINATED:** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, and North Carolina.

**aspiringAnimator** - Chris is back! YES! No more having to manually remember that there are two E's in the word "Blaineley". She was a really fun character, though! And she still hosts the Aftermaths, don't worry.

And just to clear something up about North Carolina and Indiana. While Indiana is, in fact, gay, North Carolina isn't. Indiana _might_ have had a thing for North Carolina, but it looks like that will never be fully realized, since North Carolina's gonna be spending the next few weeks in a hospital. Sorry. I'm really bad at writing lesbian romance, but at least it seems I kind of succeeded, at least according to one reviewer a little earlier. And no. That was not the LGBT couple of the season.

Favorite, follow, and review! My heart goes a-flutter when you guys do that. I check my email, and whoa! It looks like someone reviewed my story. "Yes," I think to myself. "That is the best. I love that." That is my exact thought process.


	21. The Douche is Back

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Maryland, Ohio, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 20: THE DOUCHE IS BACK**

_"This is where I belong." - Ohio_

**Monday, September 8th, 2014. Fort Scott, Kansas. 2:09 PM.**

Five buses sped towards east, towards North Carolina. Back-and-forth, they'd gone all over the United States for the past two months now, from the hot July sun of Missouri, to the late August breezes of Florida, and now to the cool, windy mornings of September in North Carolina.

Although the actual challenge day wasn't for a few more days. Currently, the buses were roaring through Kansas on their journey east. In Team Victory's bus, it was business as usual, since it was a regular, no-challenge day. Most contestants were hanging out in their bunk rooms, but Washington was reading the Sunday newspaper, while Oregon was playing with a Rubik's cube he'd picked up at the store a week ago. Minutes earlier, California had appeared, desperately looking for her lipstick, but when it was discovered that neither Oregon nor Washington had taken it, she ran back to her bunk room.

"Hey, Oregon," Washington suddenly asked, not taking his eyes off the newspaper. "Hm?" Oregon responded, setting down his completely unsolved Rubik's cube for just a moment.

"What _was_ it you were about to tell me?" Washington murmured. Oregon looked confused. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"The night I came out to you. You know."

"Oh..." Oregon quietly said. "Well, it doesn't really-"

"_Kids, we're taking a quick rest stop up ahead!_" a familiar voice yelled over the intercom. "_We're almost in Missouri, so we're stopping at the state line. This is Chris: out!_"

Arizona peeked her head out of her bunk room. "What was that?" she asked. "Did Blaineley say something over the radio?"

Washington was just staring at the radio, as Oregon sputtered, "No - no, that was - that was Chris! Oh my gawd, how'd he-"

"_Everyone settle down!_" Chris screamed over the radio. "_Yes, Team Touchdown, that means you! Put the furniture down. Yes, yes, it's a big celebration. I, the famous Chris McLean and ORIGINAL host of The Fifty State Roadtrip, have replaced Blaineley. Finally. Sorry if I didn't get around to notifying most of you guys. But that's right. The douche is back, baby._"

New Mexico popped out of his bunk room and into the living quarters, pumping his fist into the air. "Yeaaah!" he shouted, sunglasses slightly askew. "I heard the news! Chris is _back!_"

He then swooped up Arizona for a quick kiss, who was giggling incessantly. Washington raised his eyebrows, and returned his gaze towards the paper.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_79_mp3**

"YES! Chris is _back!_ Woohoo! No more stupid Blaineley and her self-absorbed fakeness. Man, I missed Chris. He's the coolest."

New Mexico

**Wednesday, September 10th, 2014. Raleigh, North Carolina. 11:21 AM.**

The five buses now finally pulled up to a stop in the suburbs of Raleigh. A high noon sun dominated the tree-lined sky. In the distance, the tall buildings of downtown Raleigh stood ominous and foreboding. The buses were stopped right in the parking lot of what appeared to be a large elementary school. A sizely sign that sat above its double doors read "Washington Elementary School". As the thirty-one contestants climbed out of the buses, Chris stepped back, arms wide, and did a bow. Chef, who stood next to Chris, rolled his eyes. A few people clapped for Chris, and didn't even mean it as a joke.

"Hello again, kids!" he announced, smiling widely to see his old contestants again. "It's been about half a month since I hosted! But enough about me. Let's see who we're missing."

Chris surveyed the contestants carefully. "Alright..." he muttered. "Looks like... we're missing Michigan... North Carolina... maybe Kentucky? Probably a few others... wow, Team America really went down the drain..."

Connecticut suddenly raised his hand, and immediately asked, "What's today's challenge? Why are we at a school?"

Initially, Chris seemed annoyed at Connecticut's intrusion, but answered nonetheless, "No, we're not going to school. In fact, today's challenge has nothing to do with schools. The tourism board of Raleigh was kind enough to provide us with this school's gym today for the purpose of our challenge. Tell me, how many of you kids know what the game _mafia_ is?"

Eyes went wide. About a third of everyone raised their hands. Chris grinned mischievously, and clapped his hands together with relish. "Fantastic!" he yelled, eyeing them all. "That... is the basics of today's challenge. Let Chef, my newest, old-time assistant, tell you the rules."

"The rules here are simple!" Chef barked, striding back and forth like a military sergeant. "Each o' yo' teams picks three people to represent y'all. That makes fifteen total. All o' them go in the gym, and play mafia."

"But what _is_ mafia?" Ohio asked keenly, trying not to be left out of the rules for this game. Chef wrinkled his nose at the interjection. "Fifteen young post-pubescent boys an' girls go in that gym!" he yelled, looking annoyed at having to explain all this. "_Three_ o' them are mafia. Them three have the power to kill one person a 'night'. In the 'days', everybody has to vote on someone to hang. Three of the townspeople are investigators. They got the 'bility to find out at night if someone's a mafia, but only one a night. Everybody understand?"_  
_

Most people were looking confused. Some appeared excited. Chris frowned this time, and explained further, "The goal of the three mafia members is to kill all townspeople but themselves! The goal of the nine townspeople is to hang all the mafia members, although nobody knows who the mafia members are. And the goal of the three investigators is to find all the mafia members. Everybody understand now?"

Shrugs went around. Chris smiled brightly, and declared, "Everybody pick three people to represent your team! These three will go into the gymnasium and play mafia. Oh! To win this challenge, contestants, you must have at least one of your teammates survive throughout the game! Which means, yes, this has the potential for multiple people to go to the voting ceremony tonight. As if that ever happens. Now pick your representatives! I'll be waiting right here."

Immediately, before any of the other teams did anything, North Dakota announced to her team, "Obviously, South Dakota and I are going in there. But we need one more person. Any takers?"

Hesitation took hold over Colorado, Nebraska, Kansas, and Oklahoma. Nobody wanted to speak. North Dakota rolled her eyes, and pointed at Oklahoma. "Let's make it a team of three girls," she said. "Don't screw this up, Oklahoma."

"Y-yes, I - I mean, of course not, Glorious... Leader..."

And just like that, before any of the other teams could begin to discuss who was going in, Team Dakota had already picked their contestants. As Ohio eyed them, he announced to his own team, "Well, all of us know _I'm_ going in there, but I need two people with m-"

"Who says _you_ get to go in?" Maryland suddenly interjected. "What if all of us want to do it?" To that, Ohio scowled in annoyance at Maryland's insubordination. "Because," he explained slowly, "I'm the best bet for our team. I'll actually get us through this challenge. But I need two more people. Virginia, you wanna come with me?"

Virginia sighed. "Looks like I don't got much choice," she murmured. Ohio looked a little taken aback, but surveyed the rest of his team nonetheless. Indiana raised a bored hand, and asked, "Can I go? I'd like to get my elimination over with as soon as possible."

"With me as our leader, trust me, we won't lose this challenge," Ohio responded, grinning slightly. "And before you guys say anything, no, we are _not_ cursed. So, we've got me, Virginia, and Indiana representing Team America. I've got a good feeling about this challenge."

After twenty more minutes, the three representatives from each team had all been chosen. Washington, Oregon, and Arizona from Team Victory; New York, Massachusetts, and Maine from Team Democracy; Louisiana, Texas, and Arkansas from Team Touchdown. Chris beckoned toward the brightly-lit gym, giving a card to each contestant as they passed. "Your card will either say 'Investigator', 'Townsperson', or 'Mafia'!" he informed them. "That determines your role. Let's get this moving, people! I'm sure the fans who haven't played mafia are all confused as to how this works."

**DAY 1.**

**CURRENT REMAINING TOWNSPEOPLE** - Arizona, Arkansas, Indiana, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts, New York, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, South Dakota, Texas, Virginia, and Washington.

The fifteen contestants filed into the gym. It was wide and spacious. Fifteen metal chairs were in the center of the basketball court. "So how does this work, again?" Oklahoma asked, as she took a seat beside South Dakota. "Like, are we _roleplaying_, or what?"

"Something like that!" Chris said, smiling, as everyone took their seats. "During the days, citizens vote on someone to hang, but since no crimes have been committed yet... we'll just have to wait for nightfall."

Texas groaned. "Chris, come _on!_" he whined. "That's gonna be _hours_ from now! Y'all, I ain't sittin' here in a circle playin' _musical chairs_ waitin' for it to get dark outside-"

"Not _literal_ nightfall!" Chris snapped. "I guess I should've been clearer. No, daytime lasts for about two minutes. Then we turn out the lights, and close the blinds over the windows. Everyone closes their eyes. And trust me. We have cameras to tell if you're peeking."

That shut Texas up pretty quickly. "Well, this should be pretty fun!" Oregon exclaimed, smiling at everyone. "It's a lot of fun to get to meet a lot of the other teams!"

Not everyone seemed as excited as Oregon was. "Yeah..." New York murmured. "Sure. Chris, this is a _psychological_ game, right? As in, you have to figure out who among us is mafia?"

"That is correct, New York!" Chris confirmed. "Now, I'm going up to the commentator's box to keep an eye on everything. I'll say anything that needs to be said through the loudspeakers. When it's nighttime, the lights will turn off, and everyone will close their eyes! Sound good?"

Nods went around. This was pretty exciting so far. "So, one of us gets _murdered_ every night?" Louisiana asked, slightly wary about all this. "It's like we're detectives!"_  
_

"_Only three of you are the actual detectives!_" Chris reminded. "_So... there's that. Alright, kids, lights out!_"

The huge overhanging lights all clicked off. South Dakota squealed at the unexpected change, as everyone covered their eyes patiently.

"_Mafia, please open your eyes! Acknowledge your teammates._"

...

"_Point at the person you want to kill!_"

...

"_It has to be a unanimous vote. Pick only one person._"

...

"_One of you is pointing at your fellow mafia-member. Stop that._"_  
_

...

"_Thank you, mafia. Please close your eyes. Investigators! Open your eyes.__ Acknowledge your teammates._"_  
_

...

"_Point at the person that you think might be mafia. It has to be a - a unanimous vote! Stop picking different people._"

...

"_Investigators, that person is not a mafia. Please close your eyes now, investigators._"

...

"_Everyone open your eyes!_"

**DAY 2.**

**CURRENT REMAINING TOWNSPEOPLE** - Arizona, Arkansas, Indiana, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts, New York, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, South Dakota, Texas, Virginia, and Washington.

Bright lights flooded the gym. There was a lot of squinting around. The chair next to South Dakota was empty.

"_Oklahoma was brutally murdered last night!_" Chris announced. You could practically hear him grinning with amused malice up in the commentator's box. "_She was not an investigator. Everyone, you have two minutes to debate, after which we will have the lynching ceremony!_"

Everyone was just staring at the empty chair. "Wow, she got murdered?" Massachusetts mused thoughtfully. "Okay, so this is like - this is like Clue. The board game."

There was a brief silence. "Okay, guys," New York eventually said, looking around at the apprehensive faces around. "Everyone forget about team boundaries. In this challenge, obviously it's townspeople versus mafia. There are... let's see... one, two... eleven townspeople, and three mafias. Do... the investigators have any info to share with us?"

"Nope," Arkansas sadly said, looking down at his feet. There was a dead silence seconds later. Everyone stared at him as his eyes went as wide as dinner plates, figuratively. "What? What is it?" he asked.

"I... don't think you were supposed to tell us you're an investigator," Ohio slowly informed him. "That makes you a target."

"Oh. Crap."

"So who are the other investigators?" Virginia eagerly asked. Everyone else seemed pretty eager to know, too.

"Uh. I don't think I should tell you, for their own safety-"

"It'll be fine!" Virginia assured him. "It's best that we're all open with each other 'bout all this. If we know who the investigators are, we'll have a better chance of winnin' as the townspeople!"

"I don't think it works that way," Washington muttered quietly. "Other investigators, you guys should probably keep quiet. We wouldn't want the mafia to know exactly who the investigators are-"

"_Time is up!_" Chris announced. "_Are there any votes yet?_"

Nobody did anything but anxiously stare at everyone else in the circle, and occasionally at Oklahoma's empty chair. North Dakota was just smirking at them all.

"_No votes?_" Chris asked over the intercom, clearly confused. "_Well. Alright, then. Lights out! It's time for the second night._"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_80_mp3**

"Alright. To be honest, I thought I had all of those chumps. Psychological games are what I excel at. And nobody was even taking that game seriously. Any time a contestant died, we all just started blabbering about how great a person they were, even though they weren't _actually_ dead."

North Dakota

**DAY 3.**

**CURRENT REMAINING TOWNSPEOPLE** - Arizona, Indiana, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts, New York, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, South Dakota, Texas, Virginia, and Washington.

The lights were turned on again, after the second night, in which the mafias spent at least fifty full seconds deciding who to murder. Once they decided, and the investigators once again didn't find any mafia members, the lights were turned back on.

There were two empty chairs now. Everyone wildly looked around to figure out who was missing, right up until Chris spoiled it by yelling, "_Arkansas was killed last night! He was an investigator!__ You all have two minutes to debate!_"

"No!" Louisiana yelled, panic-stricken. "We lost our investigator!"

"To be fair, he had it comin'," Texas said thoughtfully. Maine frowned at all this, and quietly muttered, "Aw. I liked that guy. He seemed nice."

Massachusetts nodded, thinking. "Yeah. Arkansas was cool. I wish he hadn't died."

"Yeah..." Indiana muttered, a sly grin on her face. "Arkansas was one of the best people in the town. He didn't deserve this!"

"_Yeah!_" Oregon exclaimed, caught up in the mob mentality. "Arkansas was the _best!_ And now he's dead. We... I know what we should do. We gotta figure out who did this."

"The mafia will be taken _down!_" New York decided, grimacing determinedly at everyone. "We need a lead. Anything. Anything at all that could tell us who killed Arkansas."

"You know..." Indiana slowly said, a plausible fear creeping over her face, "I... I'm not too sure about Arizona. I saw her looking at Arkansas right before the lights went out."

"What?" Arizona exclaimed, mortified. "I - no - I mean, what are you talking about? I haven't talked at _all_ since we got in here! What reason would I have for killing Arkansas?"

"Because you're one of the mafia!" Ohio yelled, pointing angrily at Arizona. "Admit it! You wanted to kill poor, sweet, precious Arkansas. You monster."

And just like that, everyone was convinced Arizona murdered Arkansas. "_It sounds like we have a plausible candidate ripe for the voting!_" Chris declared via microphone. "_Arizona, you have thirty seconds to state your defense. Please stand._"

Arizona stood up, terrified out of her wits. "You've got to believe me!" she cried. "I - why would I kill Arkansas? He's nice! He's so nice. And he was an investigator! He's _on our side!_ The side of the townspeople!"

"You're a liar!" Virginia evidently decided. "_Ahem!_" Chris reminded. "_Only the defendant may speak. Arizona, if you'd continue?_"

"Yeah," Arizona began, "Arkansas was a good guy. But - but that doesn't mean we go blood-thirsty for the first person we think of! Think about it, everyone!"

Both Washington and North Dakota were gazing at Arizona with a sort of vague understanding as to what was _really_ going on, right when South Dakota stood from her chair and shrieked, "I don't trust her! She's dating that shady guy who always wears sunglasses!"

"I - _New Mexico?_ What does he have to do with any of this?"

Evidently, South Dakota couldn't answer that particular question, but still pointed a distrusting finger at Arizona. "_Contestants!_" Chris yelled from above. "_Raise your hands if you vote for Arizona! It must be a fifty-percent vote or above!_"

One by one, the contestants began raising their hands determinedly, staring down Arizona. In fact, everybody but Washington, Oregon, and North Dakota raised their hands. Oregon, because obviously Arizona was on his actual team, outside the game, and losing the challenge would be bad. "_That looks like a majority to me!_" Chris decided. "_Arizona, you have been hung!_"

Chef appeared from behind, and grabbed Arizona's arms, and muffled her mouth with duct tape. She squealed, and kicked at him, and was dragged away and out of the gymnasium. Everyone eagerly looked up toward's Chris's position, wishing to find out if they were correct or not.

...

"_Arizona was NOT a mafia member. In fact, she wasn't even an investigator, either._"

Shock went over everyone's faces. "You're... you're _sure?_" New York asked hesitantly. Chris didn't reply, and instead let the situation sink in. After a few moments, South Dakota, who'd earlier voted against Arizona with hefty extremity, wailed, crying, "Oh, _no!_ She was innocent! I... _why'd_ we do that? We all teamed up on her."

Everyone was looking incredibly guilty. "_Lights off!_" Chris then yelled. "_It's time for someone else to get murdered tonight._"

The lights shut off, as everyone closed their eyes. There was a brief pause, during which Chris waited for everyone to get situated before beginning for the third time.

"_Mafia members, please open your eyes and point to the person you want dead by next morning._"

...

"_Any day, now._"

...

"_Thank you, mafia. Please close your eyes. Our two remaining investigators: open your eyes._"

Texas and Louisiana nervously opened their eyes to look glance at each other in the dark. Everyone else had their eyes covered with their hands.

"_Investigators, please point to the person you want to find out whether or not is mafia._"

Louisiana pointed at Virginia. Texas pointed at North Dakota. There was a long pause.

"_Investigators. You HAVE to pick the same person._"

Texas was now aggressively pointing at North Dakota, while Louisiana insisted on Virginia, never budging. After at least half a minute of silent glaring, Texas finally switched, and pointed towards Virginia.

"_Investigators, the person you are pointing at IS a mafia member._"

There was a dead silence to that. Even contestants with covered eyes who were bouncing their legs up and down in boredom stopped immediately. Everybody heard that, but only the investigators knew who they pointed at...

"_Investigators, please close your eyes. Thank you._"_  
_

**DAY 4.**

**CURRENT REMAINING TOWNSPEOPLE** - Indiana, Louisiana, Massachusetts, New York, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, South Dakota, Texas, Virginia, and Washington.

Once again, lights flooded the gymnasium as everyone squinted in the new brightness. It was obvious what was on everyone's minds: who did the investigators find out were mafia?

There was a brand new empty chair right next to Massachusetts. "_Contestants, Maine was murdered by the mafia last night!_" Chris announced. "_She was just an ordinary townsperson. You all have two minutes to debate starting... now._"

"Okay, everyone," New York began, keen to keep his steady grasp upon leadership. "It's... obvious to _all_ of us that the investigators have found out one of the mafia. So... who is it, investigators?"

Nobody said anything. Louisiana shifted uncomfortably in her seat, as everyone waited for the investigators to show themselves.

"Come on. There's nothing to be afraid of," Ohio assured. "The investigators who saw who the mafia member was needs to stand up and reveal themselves immediately. Otherwise, you'll be going against the town's best interests."

Massachusetts nodded in affirmation to that. "Investigators, you'll really be helping out the town by telling us who you discovered were mafia," he insisted. "The more mafia we take out early on in the game, the better of a chance the town has of surviving this."_  
_

Slowly, Louisiana stood, shocking Texas. "Okay... _I'm_ one of the investigators," she quietly revealed. Silence filled the echoey gym. Apprehensive faces greeted her. "So who's the mafia you discovered?" Washington asked, awaiting her response patiently.

...

"Um... Virginia."

Virginia let out a sigh, as though she'd been expecting that, but drew herself up high and proud. "_Me?_" she asked in disbelief. "I - she's lying! She has to be lying."

Massachusetts frowned. "Well, there's still two investigators, right?" he said slowly. "Can the other investigator confirm what Louisiana is saying?"

There was a long silence. Louisiana didn't dare look at anyone specific in the face, lest they be called out for being the other investigator. "Either you guys believe me, or we're another townsperson down," Louisiana reminded them, looking terrified now. "I've said what I know. And, guys... we _really_ need to start taking some of these mafia out. And Virginia is one of them."

Virginia didn't respond to that, but contented herself with looking around at everyone's varied reactions. Some people were outright fearful. "_Is that a candidate for a vote, I hear?_" Chris's voice boomed through the gym. "_Virginia is up for vote, then! Virginia, do you have a defense?_"

Virginia surveyed everyone. Nobody wanted to trust her, but some people seemed uncertain of Louisiana's words. "Everybody," she said, standing, "if I was mafia, I would _not_ have killed Arkansas."

She sat back down. This resonated with everyone. "Arkansas will be missed," she added a few seconds later, and wiped away a "tear" from her eye.

...

"_Raise your hand if you vote for Virginia!_"

Six people raised their hands. Louisiana, Texas, Washington, South Dakota, Massachusetts, and Oregon. Only New York, North Dakota, Ohio, and Indiana refrained from raising their hands. "_That's... six votes out of eleven remaining contestants!_" Chris yelled. "_Virginia has been lynched! Chef, take her away!_"

Virginia sighed, as the big man tried picking her up around the waist. When Virginia didn't budge, he just dragged her away, looking particularly disgruntled at handling all the dirty work. There were now ten remaining. Everyone awaited Chris's reveal of Virginia's real role.

...

"_Virginia was, in fact, a mafia! Nice work, town._"

Everyone cheered. Literally everyone. All ten. A few of them were faking for reasons to benefit themselves. "We did it!" Ohio yelled, after giving Oregon a high-five. "One down! Woo!"

"_Alright, everyone, settle down,_" Chris commanded from his perch in the commentator's box. "_Don't forget the fact that there are still two mafia members remaining. Everyone, hands over your eyes as we begin the fourth__ night._"

**DAY 5.**

**CURRENT REMAINING TOWNSPEOPLE** - Indiana, Massachusetts, New York, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, South Dakota, Texas, and Washington.

After another agonizingly long night in which everyone shifted around uncomfortably, and one person was fitfully dragged away at the end, the lights finally came back on for the fifth day.

There were now only nine more "alive" contestants left. Six empty chairs sat foreboding. Seven townspeople versus two mafia. Should've been easy, right?

"_Louisiana was killed last night by the two remaining mafia!_" Chris informed them in a booming voice. "_She was indeed an investigator! This means there is only one more investigator left. Discussion time! You all have two minutes._"

Nobody spoke for about ten full seconds. Wide eyes glanced around fearfully. After Louisiana, who had spoken out against the mafia last round, was killed, nobody seemed to want to speak. This silence was only broken by Ohio.

"So... there's still two mafia left," he reminded them. "I don't suppose the investigator found any clues last night?"

"You heard Chris," Washington quietly muttered, looking at Ohio suspiciously. "All of us did. '_That person is not a mafia member_', Chris said. In fact, it would be wise for the investigator to stay quiet for now..."

"Right, yeah, you're right..." Ohio mumbled, looking down. "Well. We still need to think about someone to hang today."

North Dakota scowled, and scuffed her shoe along the ground. "This game is stupid," she muttered. "Every one of you don't know who the killer is. It's pathetic, really."

New York glared at North Dakota. "Really? Okay, so, share your ideas with us, then," he snapped. "Go on, tell us. We'd love to know who the last two mafia are."

"Guys, don't trust her," Indiana warned everyone. "We've all seen how badly her team is treated by her. I'd take anything she says with a grain of salt."

North Dakota just smirked knowingly at Indiana. "Yeah, don't believe _anything_ I say," North Dakota chimed ruthlessly. "Take it from Indiana herself. Who _totally_ didn't 'accidentally' get Arizona hung a few days ago. Unless we all forgot about that?"

At that, nobody knew who to trust. Indiana looked a little taken aback at North Dakota's comment, while North Dakota just looked smug, as though she had the entire game figured out by now.

"_Uh... do we have any possible votes?_" Chris asked uncertainly. "_Or are we not gonna hang someone today?_"

"I vote for North Dakota!" Oregon cried, raising his hand. "She's... she's obviously the _antagonist_. And Chris probably made her a mafia member because she's perfect for it. I mean, right?"_  
_

There were nods to that. "I agree," Massachusetts mused thoughtfully. "And she hasn't been very nice while she _has_ been here."

"Oh, so now we're just going to vote off people because they're not _kind_ enough for you?" North Dakota rebutted, looking indignant. "_Compassion_, or whatever, doesn't get you far in this game. It's the ability to think. Duh. If you vote for me, that's just another innoc-"

"I vote for her, too!" Ohio decided, raising his hand as well. A few other people began raising theirs. In fact, the only people who didn't were Texas, Washington, and South Dakota. "Everyone! Think about what you're doing!" South Dakota protested, looking panicked. "I've known my sister for _many_ years, and I can personally tell you that she _isn't_ the bad guy this time! Or - bad _woman_, whatever!"

"Hey, y'all, South Dakota's right," Texas unexpectedly announced, looking warily at everyone who had their hands raised. "Trust me, y'all. It would be a _real_ bad idea to vote off North Dakota. She's innocent."

"How do you even _know_ that?" Indiana shouted. Texas looked uneasy, and merely mumbled, "She's - I - I just _know_, alright? Trust me."

Since Texas wasn't willing to offer up any proof, there ended up being six total votes for North Dakota out of nine. "_That looks like a majority to me!_" Chris announced. "_Chef, take North Dakota away!_"

Chef grunted something foul under his breath, and appeared to drag North Dakota away from the circle of chairs. "Augh! Hey! I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO _DEFEND MYSELF,_ Chris! You idiots just made a big mistake!" she screamed. "I actually _know_ who the last two mafias are! I figured it out. So everyone here is _doomed_ now."

Washington frowned, as North Dakota was carried away by Chef. "Well?" Washington asked, as the sound of a slamming door echoed throughout the room. "She was innocent, wasn't she?"

"_Yep!_" Chris shouted with glee. "_North Dakota was completely innocent. She wasn't even an investigator._"

This news really disappointed a lot of people. "Oh, come on..." New York muttered, looking down wearily. "This sucks. I guess we gotta go through another night, then?"

"_Yes, yes you do!_" Chris responded. "_Lights, please!_"

**DAY 6.**

******CURRENT REMAINING TOWNSPEOPLE** - Indiana, Massachusetts, Ohio, Oregon, South Dakota, Texas, and Washington.

By day six, there were only seven remaining townspeople, and eight empty chairs. More than half of original contestants had either been killed or hanged. Uneasy glances went between the teams; there was still at least one representative from each team, so no team had actually lost the challenge yet.

"_New York was brutally murdered last night!_" Chris declared. "_He was a simple townsperson. There are now only seven people left! Think wisely from here on out. You have two minutes to debate._"

After a brief silence, Washington spoke up. "I think I've figured out a way to determine who among us could or could not be mafia," he announced. "It's actually a little interesting. Think about it this way. A member of the mafia wouldn't want to kill someone from his own team. That would lessen his likelihood of his own team winning. So... let's look at who's died so far."

Everyone was intrigued, yet a little apprehensive. Up until this point, Washington had not said much. "New York was just murdered, so that rules out Massachusetts," Washington said, standing up. "Louisiana was killed the night before, so that rules out Texas. Oklahoma was killed the first night, so that probably rules out South Dakota. That just leaves me, Oregon, Ohio, and Indiana."

A long, long silence filled the air after Washington had finished. He looked around expectantly at them all. Massachusetts appeared impressed. "I find it interesting that you included yourself and Oregon in that list," he remarked. Washington shrugged. "I can't expect you all to trust me," he said. "But hopefully what I've said so far has convinced you. And I can't leave Oregon out of that list. Because everyone knows he's _definitely_ a mafia."

A few chuckles went around, as Oregon grew slightly indignant at that. "Hey!" he exclaimed. "I... I could be a mafia if I wanted."

"But, wait," Ohio suddenly intervened. "What if, as you say, a mafia member _did_, in fact, murder someone on their own team? It's possible. We can't rule out Massachusetts, Texas, and South Dakota."

"That is true," Washington obliged. "But highly unlikely. Despite the fact that we _are_ all together in this room, and all have similar goals, we all want our teams to succeed. Which is why I currently suspect both Indiana and Ohio to be mafia members."

"Well, since I _know_ I'm not a mafia member, I suspect Oregon!" Indiana cried, pointing at him. "You _did_ say he was a possibility! And for that matter, why should we all trust you? It sounds like you're against the town."

"Whatever. Trust me, or don't trust me," Washington sighed, sitting back down in his chair. "I've said the truth. You can all choose whether or not to believe me."

"I... really think he makes a good point," South Dakota murmured worriedly. "And... it would make sense. Two of the investigators were both from the southern team... I bet anything that Texas is the other investigator..."

"That could just be coincidence!" Indiana exclaimed. Ohio was looking concerned as well. "Guys, let's not jump to hasty conclusions," he quietly told them all. "Throwing around accusations like this is only going to make us hang another innocent person. Personally, I'm in favor of hanging Oregon."

Nobody seemed to agree with him. Only Texas appeared unsure. "I dunno, Washington's made a really good point," Massachusetts murmured, worried. "But I say Indiana's the biggest culprit here. North Dakota was right. Indiana _did_ accuse Arizona for little reason..."

"_Looks like another candidate has been suggested_," Chris announced cheerily. "_Indiana, what's your defense?_"

"You guys are making a mistake!" Indiana insisted, now standing. "Don't vote for me! This is Washington trying to _trick_ you all! Haven't you guys figured it out! _Washington_ is in the mafia!"

Washington was about to make a rebuttal, when Chris cleared his throat loudly into the microphone. "_No talking when the defendant is speaking!_" he reminded. "_I kind of messed up earlier, and North Dakota didn't really get to defend herself, so... I'm trying, okay?_"

"Thank you!" Indiana gasped. "Look. Everyone," she stated sincerely. "Ohio and I are _not _in the mafia. Alright? I don't know where this _crazy_ notion came from, but teams have _nothing_ to do with determining who or who isn't in the mafia. That'd be stupid! Now, listen. Washington is playing _all_ of you. If you lynch me, he'll just kill you all tonight. Mark my words."

"_Contestants!__ Please raise your hand if you vote for Indiana_," Chris then said.

Cautiously, Washington raised his hand first. Then came Massachusetts and South Dakota. Eventually, Oregon nervously raised his hand.

"_Then it's settled!_" Chris announced, and a clap could be heard through the microphone. "_That's four votes out of seven. Majority rules. Take her way, Chef!_"_  
_

"My pleasure," Chef grunted, hauling Indiana away. "Do what _I_ couldn't do, South Dakota!" she screamed, kicking at Chris. "Kill the rest of them! South Dakota, you _must_-"

"That's enough outta you!" Chef barked, and slapped a strip of duct tape over Indiana's jabbering mouth as he carried her out the door. And just like that, everyone nervously stared at South Dakota.

...

"_Indiana was indeed a mafia member._" Chris nervously muttered into the microphone. "_It's time for the sixth night._"

And that was that.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_81_mp3**

"Heheheheheh. I _loved_ being a villain for a little while. I mean, I would never act _that_ bitchy or desperate 24/7, but it was a lot of fun while it lasted. And that way I turned everyone against Arizona? Absolutely flawless."

Indiana

**DAY 7.**

**CURRENT REMAINING TOWNSPEOPLE** - Massachusetts, Ohio, Oregon, South Dakota, and Texas.

Lights, bright and glaring, were turned on again in the gymnasium. An early afternoon sun once again drifted through the windows as the contestants all uncovered their eyes.

There were now five contestants left. One mafia member, one investigator, and three regular townspeople.

"_Washington died a grisly death last night!_" Chris declared. "_He was just a plain old townsperson. __Today marks the seventh day. There are now five remaining contestants! Two minute's debate. Go!_"

Oregon had his head in his hands, as Washington's seat beside him sat empty. "Okay, guys, this is getting serious," Ohio began, after nobody spoke for around twenty seconds. "Seriously, the investigator needs to show themselves now. It doesn't matter if you don't know anything. Any help at all would be good. Because... if Indiana was telling the truth, South Dakota is indeed the last mafia member."

"But I'm _not!_" South Dakota exclaimed, looking on the verge of tears. "I don't know _why_ she said that! I really don't know _what_ to think anymore."

"What _I_ don't get is why _I've_ survived this long," Oregon said after a long silence from him. "I should've died _long_ before now."

"Well, at least we know he wasn't lying to us," Texas muttered. "But... I dunno, y'all... it might be Ohio. I wouldn't trust what Indiana said."

Ohio scoffed, looking particularly pretentious. "Me?" he questioned angrily. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm the only one trying to lead us all and keep the mafia from killing us. There's only one of them and four of us. We can do this, you guys. It's South Dakota."

Massachusetts nodded slowly and solemnly, warily glancing over at the only remaining girl. "That way Indiana was screaming at South Dakota to keep going..." he muttered, "it was just... it has to be South Dakota. We never suspected it up until now."

Right as Oregon was beginning to nod to that, Texas yelled out, "_Wait!_ It ain't South Dakota. Trust me on this, y'all-"

"Why should we just trust you?" Ohio countered, looking annoyed. "It's so obviously South Dakota."

Texas was just shaking his head, looking at South Dakota earnestly. "No. It ain't her," he insisted.

"Well, we're going to need some proof."

Texas teetered for a bit, on the edge of revealing something, and then finally gave in. "Alright. I'm the detective," he said bashfully. "And I pointed at South Dakota last night and Chris said she wasn't mafia. Y'all heard him. Which means... I don't think it's Massachusetts, an' I _highly_ doubt it's Oregon. So... it's Ohio."

"Now, hold on just a minute, here-" Ohio interrupted.

"Think about it, y'all! All the investigators are from my team, Team Touchdown. If Ohio's mafia, that means all the mafia are from Team America! And the rest of y'all are all just townspeople."

"Let's think this through, guys. Don't listen to Texas-"

"But trust me on this one thing: South Dakota ain't a mafia member. And if I'm right, it sure as hell's Ohio."

Texas's words stung deep. Ohio looked around cautiously at everyone. Even Massachusetts's mind seemed to be changed, as he looked down at the floor thoughtfully.

"_So. Is that it?_" Chris asked, looking down at them all through a layer of glass. "_Well, fine. Ohio. Care to state anything in your defense?_"

Ohio stood, shaking slightly. "Guys," he began, "I don't even know where to begin. Texas's idea that due to _some coincidence,_ everyone from Team America was made mafia is outrageous. And that just brings up another point. How can we even _trust_ Texas? He might be lying about being an investigator. For all we know, he could be in cahoots with South Dakota."

Once again, opinions were changed. Nobody knew who to believe anymore. Oregon's eyes swiveled between Ohio and Texas, unsure of whom to trust.

Ohio sighed, and expanded, "Vote for me, and the innocents are doomed to die. The _real_ investigator will be dead. Yes, that's right. _I'm_ the real investigator."

"That's a _dirty stinkin' lie!_" Texas proclaimed, but was quieted by a grimacing Chef in the distance, arms folded. Ohio sneered at Texas, and continued, "Oh, that's right. Texas is in cahoots with South Dakota."

"None of this even _matters!_" South Dakota squealed, evidently fed up with all of this. "All of you guys are just _bickering and fighting!_ It's not getting anything done! Augh! At least on my team there's peace and quiet. Nobody ever argues."

"_Alright, that's enough!_" Chris yelled over the microphone. "_It's time to vote. Raise your hand if you vote for Ohio so we can get this over with._"

Texas's hand immediately shot into the air. After a few seconds, Massachusetts's went up, too. Oregon, sighing at the ridiculousness of all of this, eventually raised his hand, too. And lastly, South Dakota raised hers, shaking her head wearily.

"_Wow. That's four votes. That's literally everybody except Ohio. Sorry, Ohio! You've been hung for your crimes._"

"DAMN IT!" he yelled, as Chef restrained him from behind, lifting him over his shoulders, like a fireman's carry. Moments later, Chris climbed down to greet the last four. "Well?" Texas asked. "Was he a bad guy?"_  
_

"Indeed, he was!" Chris declared. "And that means this game has been won by the innocents! Nice job, everyone!"

Oregon, South Dakota, Massachusetts, and Texas all cheered, as more than two dozen other contestants entered the gym to find out what had happened. Chris, standing on top of a small stool, yelled into a bullhorn, "Team America was the only team to lose all three of its original contestants! That means they're going to voting!"

Virginia and Maryland both groaned simultaneously, approaching Ohio. "What gives?" Maryland asked, looking distraught. "What even happened in this gym? What was the challenge?"

Ohio just waved her away, looking depressed. "I don't wanna talk about it..." he muttered.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_82_mp3**

"That was... absolutely... the worst challenge ever. I _had _it in the bag, too! If only I could have survived for one more night, I could have easily taken down one of the other teams! Maybe all of them, if Texas hadn't popped up in the middle of nowhere and announced he was an investigator. Ugh. Another loss for Team America."

Ohio

**4:48 PM.**

Five buses casually drove through the streets of Raleigh, headed to the city limits for a good place to host the voting ceremony. The air in Team America was absolutely solid; the prospect of going to _yet another_ voting ceremony was not one to look forward to.

Illinois was tossing a tennis ball in the air over and over again, catching it every time with a bored expression. Maryland was similarly inactive, and was taking a nap in one of the bedrooms; she had nothing to fear, since she wasn't involved in the challenge, and therefore could not be blamed for what happened. It was a conflict between Indiana, Ohio, and Virginia that was growing troublesome.

The three hadn't spoken at all since the challenge. Each of them blamed the other two for their team's loss. But as seven PM loomed nearer and nearer, it was all a matter of getting Illinois and Maryland to be on their side. The team had no more unity. It was just five contestants who shared the same bus now. You couldn't even call Ohio and Virginia friends anymore.

"I'm telling you," Indiana whispered to Illinois, who laid on the couch, looking bored. "Ohio is bad news. He's literally _cursed_. I think whatever Michigan said that night he was voted off must have cursed us all. If we get Ohio out of the game... then the curse will go away. And we'll all make it to the merge. Whenever that is."

Illinois was barely listening to Indiana, but responded, "Okay. So you want me to vote with you against Ohio, correct?"

"That's right."

Illinois looked her in the face. "You realize I don't do anything for free."

Indiana gulped, and looked a little nervous. "Well, yeah," she stammered. "But I can assure you if you help me against Ohio, I'll protect you later on in the game."

"Boooring," Illinois replied, looking back at the tennis ball he held. "Be a little more creative than that. Right when this team breaks apart during the merge, you'll have completely forgotten all this."

Indiana rolled her eyes, and rubbed her forehead. "Okay. What do you want me to do, then, your highness?" she sarcastically asked.

"I want a girlfriend on this show."

Another roll of the eyes from Indiana. "Uh-huh. I do too," she answered, looking irate. "Get to the point."

"You're gonna have to be my girlfriend."

Illinois was looking smug as ever. Indiana stood, crossing her arms. "Did you not get the part about me being gay?" she asked, pissed off. "No, I'm not being your weird, perverted girlfriend. Ask Maryland. Jesus, you're a weirdo."

Indiana was about to leave, but poked her head around the door at the last second. "Oh. And seriously, though, do vote against Ohio," she reminded him in a dull tone. He waved her away.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_83_mp3**

"I vote for Ohio. Nothing more needs to be said than that. This curse seriously sucks."

Indiana

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_84_mp3**

"I... I vote Indiana. I really can't bring myself to vote against Ohio, no matter what supposed curse we got. I really hope this ain't a bad move."

Virginia

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_85_mp3**

"I vote for Indiana. I think she's conspiring against me. Seriously, there _is no curse_. We just happen to be losing almost every challenge at the moment. It's no big deal."

Ohio

**7:00 PM.**

Seven at night. One empty bus patiently sat in the middle of a supermarket's parking lot. A full moon drifted overhead.

"Really, Team America?" Chris asked, looking a little annoyed. "You guys love me _that much?_ Why are you losing all the challenges all of a sudden? When I left you guys, you all had like - like seven people left! And now you're almost down to four! What happened?"

Nobody responded. Too many were too busy glancing around nervously. Chris sighed, and looked at a clipboard. "Aye, aye, aye..." he murmured, peering over the results. "What a voting ceremony. Well, let's get started. When I call your name, you get a snack, yadda-yadda-yadda. Illinois. Zero votes."

Illinois caught a handful of Smarties from Chris. "Maryland. No votes, either," Chris then said.. More snacks were thrown. He then looked meaningfully at the remaining three: Virginia, Ohio, and Indiana.

...

"Virginia. Just kidding. You got no votes for some reason."

She gratefully grabbed for the popcorn bag that was thrown her way. It was now just between Ohio and Indiana.

"One of you got three votes, and the other got two," Chris explained, grinning like some kind of deviant. "This is actually a little surprising to me. But... the final snack... goes to..."

M&M's were tauntingly raised into the air by Chris. He lingered for just a moment, and then...

...

...

...

"...Indiana."

Even Indiana was shocked, as a tiny bag of M&M's went tumbling to the pavement at her feet.. Ohio glanced around, confused, right until the realization of what happened hit him full in the face. "WHAT?" he exclaimed. "You guys voted off your _leader?_"

Maryland shrugged, opening up a package of powdered sugar donuts. "You were cursed," she pointed out in between bites. "And our team kept losing right when you decided to be _leader_ or whatever, so..."

"No! This _isn't fair!_" Ohio exclaimed, jumping up. "_I_ should be going to the finalists! Chris, tell me there's been some sort of mistake. I _can't_ be voted off before we're even halfway into the season!"

"Oh," Chris suddenly said, looking down at his clipboard. "Sorry. There _was_ a mistake. Sorry, Indiana, you're going home."

"Really?" Ohio yelped, not expecting that at all. Chris started laughing hysterically. "Hah! Nope!" he yelled. "I was just kidding. Yeah, you really are going home, Ohio. Go cuddle with Michigan and your weird fan that showed up in that episode a month ago."

"I'm not moving," Ohio obstinately declared, standing right in place. "This is where I belong. Right here in Team America."

"Nope! Ohio, you belong in Cleveland!" Chris yelled, and waved for Chef to come and remove Ohio. "Or should I say Brendan? Whups! Forgot for a second that I'm not supposed to reveal your real names!"

"Fuck you!" Ohio yelled. "It's pronounced Brandon!"

"I think it's pronounced, 'Hey, Chef, come remove this kid from the premises'."

"Y'don't gotta ask me twice," Chef responded, a sly grin on his huge face, as he picked up Ohio and started walking towards the cab. Ohio kicked, and pounded, but was no match for Chef's hulking strength. Right before the car door slammed, Ohio flipped Chris off. "Whoa! Watch the birdie, there, Ohio!" Chris yelled. "Think of the kids! Hm. Let's see, here."

Chris surveyed the pitiful remainder of Team America. He then sighed. "You guys really are depressing, you know," he informed them. "Hope at least a few of you make it past the merge."

Virginia raised a hand. "When is the merge?" she asked. Chris shrugged. "I dunno! Not for a while, I think," he admitted. "Maybe in a month or so. We've still got a ways to wait. Hang in there, kids."

Chris then turned to the cameras, a bright smile on his face. "Well! What an exciting episode this has been!" he announced. "Make sure to catch The Fifty State Roadtrip Wednesdays and weekends at 8/7 central on CampTV." Chris then rolled his eyes, as though he was required to say that little bit. "What will happen next?" he asked. "Will Team America keep losing challenges, or... was the 'curse' really broken? Find out the answers to these exciting questions and _more_ on the next installment of... The Fifty State Roadtrip!"

The intern holding the camera gave a thumbs up, and shut it off. Chris stretched, groaning. "Wow. I am beat," he sighed. "You kids want Chinese food? There's a good place not far from here."

******ELIMINATED:** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, and Ohio.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **Applause2014, Knifez, AudiLion, Jinxup116, BabyIt'sBrynlee, GrassBlade-Chan, Winkie4, Anatee Apple-Hime Takaramono, DaleJr.88, I-love- Ouran-host-club, Guest, ConcernedMidWest, Curcle, and manateebacon!

**aspiringAnimator** - OH MY GODDD. A new record was broken, as this was the longest chapter yet. Wow.

See that "SPECIAL THANKS TO" up there? Those are people who've reviewed! Every new chapter from now on, I make a list full of people who have reviewed within the last four days. Since that's the first "SPECIAL THANKS TO" list, everybody who has ever reviewed was included. BUT! That's only for this time. Next time, only people who have reviewed on this chapter will be featured on the list. So review every week! That's how you maintain a position on that list. This is all to encourage reviews, and reviews encourage me to keep writing. Feedback is sweet.

The poll on my profile has been updated! You can now only vote for three people, since there are now only thirty contestants remaining. If you haven't voted on the poll yet, then what the _hell_ are you doing here? Just kidding. I love you. Yes, you, specifically. The one reading this right now.

(Sorry for kicking off Ohio. He was always planned to go this episode, right from the start. But Team America will live on, mark my words.)


	22. The Last Dance

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota.

**Team America** - **(**Illinois and Indiana**)** and **(**Maryland and Virginia**)**.

**EPISODE 21: THE LAST DANCE**

_"Wh - why's __he_ going home? He's so nice!" - Tennessee

**Sunday, September 14th, 2014. Cleveland, Ohio. 7:02 AM.**

The cool winds of the Great Lakes swept past five long black charter buses as they sped north into Ohio. Ohio, historically settled in the mid eighteenth century as the frontier, was now a quiet backwater to the huge cities in the east. Yellow-green trees swayed in the breeze, as schoolchildren all over the state rejoiced in the fact that the weekend had come.

For the exactly thirty contestants left on The Fifty State Roadtrip, however, things were a little different. The only thing greeting contestants when they were booted off was an unimpressed welcome by their old friends, a huge local media circus surrounding their return, and the fact that they missed weeks, if not months of school during their absence.

But until that point, the thirty contestants would enjoy a tenuous peace. Memories of home were fleeting. Most contestants had made their buses much more like home; artwork, posters, photos, news clippings, and more hung from the walls. In Team Democracy's bus, Pennsylvania had taken it upon herself to hang up orange, yellow, and red construction paper chains to commemorate the coming of fall.

As Maine helped Pennsylvania hang up the final few lengths of the paper chain, New Jersey tentatively approached Massachusetts, who was sitting on the couch reading the September issue of the PC Gamer magazine. "Hey... Massachusetts?" New Jersey slowly asked. "I need some advice, yo."

Massachusetts closed the magazine, and looked up at his newest interrogator. "Alright," Massachusetts sighed, consenting. "Is it something... private? Do you need to tell me somewhere other than the middle of the bus?"

"Nah, nah, here's good," New Jersey reassured him, and plopped down besides Massachusetts. "It... um... involves a girl."

"Okay," Massachusetts replied disinterestedly, reopening his magazine. "Who?"

New Jersey cautiously glanced around. Pennsylvania went back to her bunk room, while Maine stayed behind to search through the cupboards for some cereal. "Delaware," he murmured to Massachusetts. "Ah," Massachusetts responded, unsurprised. For a few moments, Massachusetts was just reading an article about the revival of the Wii U, while New Jersey waited patiently. "So..." New Jersey continued, after Massachusetts didn't say any more. "My problem is that... I mean... she ain't really... takin' very well to my... advances."

"Yeah. I've noticed," Massachusetts responded. "Actually, if I want to be perfectly level with you, New Jersey, everybody on the bus has noticed. It's just about _impossible_ to have any kind of romantic relations on this show without literally everyone finding out about it within twenty minutes."

"...oh," New Jersey responded, looking down at his thumbs. "Well... you got any advice?"

Massachusetts rubbed his forehead, and exasperatedly asked, "Why are you asking me? I mean, I am completely flattered and all, and I'll give you advice, but... why not New York? He loooves talking about romance. He's like the Karkat of our team."

"The what?"

"Never mind," Massachusetts murmured. "My advice to you... is... to... uhhh... follow... your heart?"

New Jersey sat there for a moment, absolutely still, as Maine carried her bowl of cereal back to the bunk rooms, giving a small glance at Massachusetts on her way out. "Follow my heart..." New Jersey repeated slowly. "Yeah," Massachusetts affirmed, looking back down to his magazine. "Like, y'know... just do what feels right. If something clicks, then go with that. Be yourself. Don't let anybody tell you what to do."

"Yeah... be myself..." New Jersey repeated, as Massachusetts rolled his eyes and went back to his magazine.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_86_mp3**

"I don't mean to be rude to New Jersey. I think he tries to hard sometimes at seeming tough, and trying to get girls to like him. He's just too impressionable. I told him not to let anyone tell him what to do, and then he proceeded to let _me_ tell him what to do. I just hope this doesn't end badly down the line for everyone."

Massachusetts

**9:33 AM.**

Team America was broken.

After Ohio was voted off for good, the entire team was in disarray. That is to say, four teenagers were scrambling to figure out what to do. Before Ohio had forcefully taken the position of leader, the team had absolutely zero experience in the leadership and management departments. And soon, of course, _alliances_ began to form.

Virginia had convinced Maryland to support her, as she suspected both Indiana and Illinois were working together. Illinois recruited Indiana, because he suspected Virginia was working with Maryland. A general, distrustful atmosphere soon formed in the team between the two hastily-created, two-person alliances. It was like the Cold War, except with more teenagers, and less nuclear missiles.

So, as a result of all these high tensions, pretty much nobody spoke to one another, except in rushed, necessary conversation. Indiana seemed to be the only one who didn't care too terribly much about the alliances, and instead elected to just do what she usually did, to the slight annoyance of her supposed partner, Illinois.

"Indiana!" he whispered harshly as she plopped down on the couch to watch some TV. "Didn't you hear me?"

Indiana raised an eyebrow as she watched some CampTV, and muttered, "Guess not. What is it?"

"You're supposed to be spying on Virginia and Maryland. They're-"

Suddenly, Indiana groaned, resting her head back. Illinois appeared confused, as Indiana dully mumbled, "My god... seriously, Illinois, there's not even any alliances. I don't know why you've convinced yourself that there are. Jesus, why did all the guys on this team have to be such creeps? Now leave me alone, I didn't agree to anything."

"Oh, yes you did," Illinois countered smugly, folding his arms. "I helped you take Ohio out. I didn't do that for free. You're going to help me survive, if our team loses another challenge."

"But we won't!" Indiana cried, looking irritated now. "The curse is broken! Ohio is gone! He's probably hate-snogging Michigan or something!"

Illinois looked disgusted, and walked toward the kitchen for food. "Well, regardless," Illinois muttered, "you're going to help me, whether you like it or not. It's us versus them, Indiana. Us. Versus. Them."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_87_mp3**

"With Ohio gone, I can finally start doing more around this team. Not to mention... I _am_ the last man left on this team. Heheheh. Those are good odds, am I right?"

Illinois

**10:03 AM.**

The tall, bustling city of Cleveland, Ohio stood before five charter buses parked on a dock. Behind them, the great freshwater expanse of Lake Erie extended to the horizon, creating the illusion of a huge ocean.

"Good morning, kids!" Chris greeted the thirty contestants. "Hope you slept well! Today, we visit the absolute beauty of Cleveland... tall buildings, cool breezes, and... rock and roll!"

He then gestured grandly towards a white building behind him, grinning broadly. Everyone looked around confusedly. Even Chef had no idea what the hell Chris was talking about.

New Jersey raised a hand. "Yo, Chris... it's just a building," he pointed out. Chris sighed, and rubbed his forehead. "Yeah. 'It's just a building'," he repeated. "New Jersey, go stand in a corner."

"...Chris, there's no corners, I told you, we're outsi-"

"I _KNOW_ we're outside - okay, y'know what? Forget it. I'm not continuing this running gag today. What you kids are looking at is the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame! So, from that, can anyone guess what our challenge is?"

Alabama raised a hand, and suggested, "Do we gotta... do some kinda rock 'n' roll trivia show?"

Chris shook his head. "Nope! Good guess, though," he admitted. "Follow me!"

He then began leading the thirty contestants into the museum, which had been emptied of any other patrons once the staff discovered The Fifty State Roadtrip would be filming a challenge there. "Here you have the Beatles, KISS, Nirvana, et cetera," Chris told them all as they all briskly walked past the exhibits. He pointed at a few electric guitars resting on podiums, and of huge prints of the Beatles posing for an album cover. "AC/DC, Elvis, Pink Floyd... it's all here," he told them. "Maybe another time you kids can come back and actually take a look at all the exhibits! Hahah! I'm joking, of course. You'll probably never come back here."

Chris and Chef then led everyone though a huge set of double doors and onto a giant stage. Ahead, rows upon rows of seats awaited. Chris then proudly planted his hands on his hips, and announced, "We're doing a singing competition!"

Every girl who'd dreamed of becoming a famous singer started squealing, while the majority of contestants who couldn't care less just face-palmed at the stupidity of it all. "You just _had_ to have _some_ kind of singing on this show, didn't you, Chris?" Indiana quipped. "Shoosh!" Chris hushed. "The producers _love_ the singing. We can actually make _money_ off of it. A lot. Now, here's how this challenge goes. Each team picks one person to sing for them! There will be three judges to score them: myself, Chef, and... _Blaineley_."

A miserable-looking Blaineley wearing a dirtied red dress walked up unsteadily, hardly able to balance in her high heels. Nevertheless, she smiled wearily at the cameras. "_Hellooo_, kids," she greeted, wincing. "Thought you'd be rid of me for any time longer than a week, huh?"

At the sight of Blaineley, a few people began groaning. "Oh, come _on!_" New York yelled. "Blaineley's _judging us?_ You realize she hates our guts, right?"

Blaineley gasped dramatically at that. "I do not!" she protested, looking straight into the cameras. "I am a fair, wise, and _tolerant_ host - I mean, _was_. I'm not a host anymore. _Somehow_... my position was revoked."

Chris grinned bemusedly at Blaineley. "Riiight..." he slowly responded. "Well! In any case... figure out who's singing for each team, contestants! You have twenty minutes. Make sure you pick someone who can _actually_ sing. Or not! This show could always use a little humor._  
_

**10:28**

"Oh my gawd, a singing challenge!" Oregon exclaimed, clapping his hands together excitedly. "I love musicals. Who should we pick to sing?"

"Well... if you want to sing, I guess... volunteer?" Washington asked, looking around at his five teammates. Nobody jumped forward. "Right, that's about what I expected..." he mused. "We'll have to get everyone to try out, then. Oregon, you said you like musicals?"

Oregon's eyes went wide. "Oh... no, I mean, I do," he explained, "but... only when I'm in the audience. I could never, _never_ perform in front of an audience..."

"Technically, you're in front of an audience of millions of people right now," Washington pointed out, grinning slightly and gesturing towards the camera crew not far away. "But that's fine. Does anybody have any experience with singing? Any at all?"

Arizona stepped forward after a tiny nudge from her boyfriend, New Mexico. She looked a little embarrassed, but admitted, "Well... I sang in my third grade play..."

"Well, okay. Sing something. Do the do-re-mi thing."

"...the what?" Arizona asked, looking confused now. Washington tapped his cheeks, searching for the right words. "You know! The... the song from that movie, the Sound of Music."

"_Oh!_" Arizona exclaimed, understanding. "Ohhh. I know what you're talking about now. Um, okay, let's see..."

She cleared her throat, and sang, "_Do... Re... Mi... Fa... Sol, La, Ti, Do!_"

Everyone was impressed. New Mexico was gazing at his girlfriend with awe. Oregon had his hands together, and whispered, "Oh my gosh, you have such a pretty voice..." Even Hawaii appeared impressed.

"Okay..." Washington slowly said, "okay, we're _definitely_ gonna use you, Arizona. Know any songs?"

She appeared thoughtful for a moment. "I know a bunch of Christmas songs!" she exclaimed. "My family goes caroling sometimes, even though it never snows in Phoenix... also, I can play the piano, if that helps..."

"Fabulous," Washington declared, surveying his small team. "Do whatever song feels right to you."

**10:32 AM.**

A few of the other teams had already begun selecting their candidates, but in Team Touchdown... there were a few problems. Namely, the fact that nobody was terribly good at singing.

"I'm tellin' y'all!" Mississippi insisted. "I'm real good at singin'! They - they chose me to sing for my church! In choir! I'm - I'm real good, y'all-"

"No, y'all should go with me," Tennessee countered. "I helped my brother's band with backup lyrics! I've been in professional stuff! Y'all-"

"Every one of y'all needs to hush!" Texas shouted, looking sternly at the four girls who all insisted upon being the one to sing. "We can only pick _one_ person. Now, I know all of y'all wanna be that one person, but we need someone who can _actually __sing_-"

"I can sing!"

"Tex, you _know_ I can sing-"

Texas took a few steps back from the pleading girls, and reproachfully shouted, "No offense, y'all, but I've heard y'all singin' in the showers. And it ain't pretty sometimes. Just sometimes! But really, y'all, I can only pick one person. So why don't some of y'all back off? Again, no offense, ladies."

Georgia and Louisiana both sighed, and stepped back, as though they knew they probably wouldn't be fit for the job. After a lot of consideration, Tennessee withdrew as well, leaving only Mississippi eagerly volunteering. Texas sighed, and was incredibly tempted to do a face-palm. "You really think you can sing, huh, Mississippi?" he asked uncertainly. "Hey," Alabama suddenly interjected, glancing at Mississippi bashfully, "Let her sing, Tex. She wants to sing, so let her sing. An' I know she's got a _beautiful_ singin' voice."

Alabama and Mississippi shared a brief, gag-worthy kiss, as Texas rolled his eyes. "Fine," he allowed. "But if she loses us the challenge, it's on her. Don't forget that."

**10:33 AM.**

"Well, we gotta pick _someone__!_" Virginia cried. "Can't we put our differences aside for just a _moment?_"

The four remaining members of Team America were jabbering away at each other, bickering over who to pick for the singing challenge. "Yeah, well, Indiana's our best candidate!" Illinois argued back. "After all, I don't think _any_ of us can sing but her."

Virginia began gesturing frantically towards Maryland. "Mary can sing!" she cried. "_I_ can sing too! _You_ just don't want us to, 'cause you think there's some kind of _alliance_ thing goin' on. We are a _team together_."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_88_mp3**

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Maryland and I _are_ teamed up. But that's just 'cause Illinois is tryin' to get Indiana on his side and make an alliance! And I don't even know _why!_ But I needed him to pick either me or Mary, 'cause that'll give us a leg up against him if we _do_ win this challenge. Here's to hopin' that curse is really gone."

Virginia

**10:34 AM.**

"This is so stupid..." Indiana murmured as everyone else argued. "You guys are making such a big deal over this. Just pick Maryland so we can start the challenge."

"_Thank you_, Indiana!" Virginia cried, looking gratefully at her. "At least _someone's_ makin' sense." Illinois rolled his eyes at that, arms folded, when he noticed Chris waving at everyone for them to wrap up selection. "Whatever," he consented. "But if she loses it for us, then we vote her off. And that's final._  
_

"Gather round!" Chris yelled at everybody. "Has everyone chosen their candidates for singing? Because we're about to begin. Tell me the songs so we can pull them up in the sound booth up there."

**11:02 AM.**

The lights dimmed. A curtain parted.

Twenty-five contestants all sat in rows upon rows of seats, eagerly looking toward an illuminated, wide stage. In the front row, Blaineley, Chris, and Chef Hatchet all sat side by side, looking scrutinizingly at a terrified-looking Delaware.

"_Um_..." she said into a propped up microphone. "_I am singing Amazing Grace. So... yeah._"

New Jersey rose from his seat in the audience, and began clapping like crazy, which went on for about ten seconds until New York had the good sense to finally yank him down. There was a long pause, as Delaware readied herself.

"_Amaaaziiing Grace... how sweet the sound... that saved a wretch like meee..._"

Her melody filled the auditorium, amplified by loudspeakers. Her teammates and friends sat watching, transfixed. No longer did the challenge matter. Everything about reality TV seemed so insignificant when faced with such a beautiful melody.

"_I once was lost... but now, am found... was blind, buuut now, I see..._"

Connecticut was watching attentively, when a tiny noise beside him caused him to whip around to find New Jersey quite literally sobbing.

"It's... it's so - so b - _beautiful_," he gasped. Connecticut inched away from him.

"_T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear... and Grace, my fears relieved... how precious did that Graaace appear, the hooour I fiiirst belieeeved..._"

"She has such a pretty voice," Oregon whispered to Hawaii beside him. Hawaii glanced at Oregon, and muttered, "Guys don't say 'pretty'."

"Oh. Um, sorry..."

"_Through maaany dangers, toils and snares... I have alreeeady come... 'Tis Grace thaaat brought me safe thus far... and Grace will lead me home._"

Delaware stood up straight nervously, awaiting the judges' responses, when suddenly-

New Jersey sprung up from his seat, clapping wildly. "_BRAVO!_" he shouted. "Bravo!"

There was a brief moment of awkwardness, until other claps were heard, these coming from Maine and Pennsylvania. Moments later, and the entirety of Team Democracy was clapping for Delaware, paying no regard to the amount of people who were staring at them. Once the din had finally died down, Delaware bowed, smiling sheepishly at the three judges.

"Hmmm..." Chris muttered, stroking his chin. "It was simple, I'll say that, but you managed to pull it off spectacularly, Delaware. I give you an eight out of ten!"

Chef nodded furiously, wiping a stray tear from his eye. "Beautiful..." he croaked. "I give you a nine outta ten. Real amazin'."

The two judges looked over at Blaineley expectantly, who groaned and looked up at Delaware tiredly. "I gotta judge, don't I?" she mumbled. "Well, alright. I was kind of hoping for something with a little more... something to it. Amazing Grace is great and all, but... you know, I _might_ be inclined to give higher scores if I was the actual host of the show..."

There was a long pause as Blaineley waited patiently for someone to answer that. When no response came, she sighed, and said, "I give it a seven out of ten. Only because it wasn't bad for the boring song that it was."

Delaware bowed, mumbled, "Thank you..." into the microphone, and gratefully stepped off stage, to the warm welcome of her team. One down, four to go.

**11:09 AM.**

"_Oh, t__he weaaather outsiiide is frightful..._"

Arizona was all alone on the stage, wearing a long, silky red dress and sitting at an ebony grand piano. She was a master at playing it, and sung her harmonious lyrics into a microphone propped up near her mouth.

"_But the fiiire... is so delightful... and since we've no place to gooo... let it snow, let it snow, let it snooow..._"

"Now _that's_ harmony," New Mexico whispered to California. "Arizona... she's _really_ classy."

"_It doesn't show signs of stopping..._" Arizona sang, averting her eyes from the audience, "_and I've brooought some corn for popping... the lights are turned way down looow... let it snow, let it snow, let it snooow..._"

She began to ramp up her piano-playing, filling the air with a crescendo of notes, to which she sang, "_When we finally kiss goodnight... how I'll hate going out in the storm! But if you really hold me tight... all the way home I'll be warm!_"

Even though it wasn't even near time for Christmas yet, the entire room began to fill with a festive mood. Green and red lights were shining along the walls, courtesy of the backup intern who was operating the lighting controls.

"_The fire is slooowly dying... and, my dear, we're still goodbying... but as long as you love me so... let it snow, let it snow, let it snooow!_"

At the end, Arizona nervously looked over to the audience, sweeping some of her orange hair out of her eyes as she did so. There was a pause, and then-

The entirety of Team Victory began applauding loudly, as well as a few members from Team Democracy and a few girls from Team Touchdown, which all lasted for about half a minute. "You go, girl!" New Mexico cheered, clapping erratically. When the din had finally died down, Arizona looked to the three judges for their responses.

"I liked it a lot!" Chris complemented. "That was actually pretty lively and fun. I give it a nine."

A resounding cheer came from the five seated members of Team Victory. A pause, and then-

"It ain't Christmas!" Chef barked. "It's the middle of September! But... y'all did pretty good with this one. I guess I give it a seven."

Blaineley clicked her tongue, looking at Arizona curiously. "Now, _that_ was what I was talking about," she mused, glancing to the other two judges. "Style _and_ fun. The show isn't _about_ talent. It's about looking good _while_ sounding good. And this girl, whatever her name is, nailed it, in my book. Could've chosen a livelier song, though. Eight out of ten."

Arizona bowed, blushing furiously, and descended the steps. "Not bad, Team Victory!" Chris congratulated from where he sat into a bullhorn. "But there are still more to come. Bring out Team Touchdown's singer!"

**11:15 AM.**

The lights dimmed once more, as everyone from Team Touchdown eagerly awaited their very own contestant to begin her song. The curtains parted... and Mississippi sat on a stool wielding a guitar. She was looking positively terrified.

About twenty seconds went by, during which she did absolutely nothing but stare into the audience with a horrified expression, even though there were only about thirty people watching her. "Um. Sweetheart?" Blaineley said, slightly irritated. "You're supposed to sing."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_89_mp3**

"Okay. It looks like it's pretty obvious who we should vote off tonight. I mean, we _did_ lose the challenge 'cause of her. I'm just thinkin' it's gonna be hard gettin' everyone to actually vote 'gainst her."

Tennessee

**11:17 AM.**

In an instant, Mississippi suddenly realized where she was. She strummed her guitar once, and sang, "_Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone. I'll be waitin'; all there's left to do is run. You'll be the prince an' I'll be the princess... it's a love story, baby, just say, 'Yes...'_"

"Oh, my god, she's singing a Taylor Swift song..." Texas muttered, massaging his forehead with his hand. Alabama glanced over at his friend, irritated, and nudged him roughly. "Shush!" he told Texas. "That's my _girlfriend an' future wife_ up there. Let her sing."

"_'__Cause you were Romeo; I was a scarlet letter, an' my daddy said, 'Stay away from Juliet.' But you were everythin' to me, I was beggin' you, 'Please don't go...'_"

Mississippi's singing was a little bit off key, and it seemed that the guitar was only there for aesthetic purposes, other than to be strummed every few seconds for emphasis on a few notes. Everyone sat awkwardly as Mississippi continued her song, unaware that there were any problems with her less than impressive performance.

"_He knelt to the ground an' pulled out a ring an' said, "Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone. I love you, and that's all I really know. I talked to your dad; you'll pick out a white dress. It's a love story, baby, just say, 'Yes.'_"

Mississippi was certainly putting her heart into it, that was for sure. During the last parts of the song, she started strumming the guitar over and over again, even though there were no specific notes she was aiming for. Nevertheless, she stood up from her stool once it was over and smiled sheepishly at the three judges.

"Uhhh..." Chris muttered, scratching the back of his head. "Maybe... hey, Chef, you wanna get this one before me?"

Chef groaned, as though he lamented having to be the one to say it. "Right..." he muttered. "Um. Yeah... you ain't the best at singin'."

Mississippi's smile stayed on her face, though it faltered slightly when she heard that. Chef looked a little guilty, yet said, "I'm gonna give you a... um... five outta ten..."

Chris nodded slowly, leaned into his microphone, and admitted, "Yeah... sorry, but you get a four from me... it... it just wasn't that great. Sorry."

Mississippi's face was frozen. She began breathing faster.

Blaineley rolled her eyes, and snapped, "I don't see why you guys are being so nice to her. She's clearly got no singing talent. So I give her a two. She shouldn't even be up there, really."

And at that, Mississippi snapped. Her eyes erupted into a fit of tears, as she gasped and ran off the stage, leaving behind her guitar resting on the stage. As her wails receded back into the audience, Chris sighed, and yelled, "Alright, bring out whatever Team America's got!"

**11:23 AM.**

It was now Team America's turn in the spotlight once more. A curtain parted to reveal Maryland standing alone in front of a microphone. She cleared her throat nervously, and greeted, "Hi... I'm... Maryland. From Team America. And I'm going to be, um, singing... 'The Best of Both Worlds' by Hannah Montana..."

"Oh, my god, _please_ tell me that's not the song she's singing..." Virginia whispered desperately in the audience. "_Please_ don't be the song she's singing. Oh, please, please... anything but a _Hannah Montana_ song..."

Funky pop music erupted from the loudspeakers all around them. This was the karaoke version of the soundtrack. This was a song destined for ten-year-old girls watching Disney Channel.

"_You get the limo out front... hottest styles, every shoe, every color..._"

"Please kill me now..." New York whispered to Pennsylvania, who then shook silently with giggles.

"_Yeah, when you're famous it can be kinda fun. It's really you, but no one ever discovers..._"

"_In some ways you're just like all your friends... but on stage you're a star!_"

"_You get the best of both worlds... chill it out, take it slow, then you rock out the show..._"

"I can't take this anymore," Hawaii whispered, standing up. "Where are you going?" Washington asked. "We've all gotta sit here no matter how terrible it is. And she's not that bad of a singer."

"I... I'm going to the restroom, that's it," Hawaii assured him, and disappeared up the aisle into the back doors.

"_You get the best of both worlds! Mix it all together and you know that it's the best of both worlds!_"

"Okay, okay, we're good!" Chris interrupted, and snapped his fingers. The microphone was turned off. "_Excellent_ work, Maryland," he lied. "Fantastic stuff. How about that?"

"Why'd you turn it off?" Maryland asked, looking confused. "We were just starting out."

...

"Um..." Chris began, thinking for a moment. "Because... of... _copyright!_ Yes! Copyright! Can't have Disney suing CampTV over a Hannah Montana song. No sir-ee. No way we could afford that. So... let's get to judging! Blaineley?"

Blaineley spat out her gum into a small trash can nearby. "Four out of ten," she remarked, casually looking over her fingernails. "Decent singing, but terrible song choice."

"But Hannah Montana's a _classic!_" Maryland insisted, looking like she was on the verge of tears. "And - and you said it yourself, this is a challenge based on singing ability, not song choice-"

"Sorry, kid," Chris muttered, shrugging. "But song choice matters a _lot,_ believe it or not. I give you... meh. A six out of ten. Just because I'm feeling nice today."

Both Chris and Blaineley looked over towards Chef, who slouched into his chair. "I mean, I dunno..." he muttered. "I... it's an okay song..."

Chris stared at Chef, inching away from the huge dude slowly. "You... you like Hannah Montana?" he asked incredulously. To that, Chef grew defensive, shouting, "I mean - it ain't bad - the music, I mean - I - just... eight out of ten."

Maryland gasped in relief. That put Team America above Team Touchdown, luckily enough. "Th - thank you," she stammered, and then proceeded to scamper off stage to rejoin her team in the audience. Chris then glanced down at a notepad, and yelled, "Alright, we're almost done everybody! Bring out Team Dakota's singer! I am _ready_ to finish this challenge."

**11:35 AM.**

Silence. The auditorium was bathed in darkness. And then, a curtain parted.

None other than Kansas stood on stage, all alone, holding a microphone. Beams of light shone everywhere. For the first time since the beginning of the show... he looked like he was rather enjoying himself. And then a beat began.

"So... _why'd_ you go with Kansas?" South Dakota asked her sister in a hushed whisper. North Dakota glanced down at South, and smiled slightly. "Because I didn't want to do it. And if he messes up, then he gets voted off. It's simple."

"...oh."

"My name is Kansas," he greeted, looking over the audience as the beat grew stronger. "I represent Team Dakota, and I'm going to be singing The Last Dance, by Limousines."

The song wasn't one that most people had heard of. In the audience, it seemed only Washington, Colorado, and Connecticut had recognized the song. The beat was an electronic one, growing louder, and then-

"_We could see forever from here... city lights and setting sun. We could see it through the ceiling... the sky is falling down..._"

Beams of light shone everywhere, moving rapidly, making everything feel like a concert. Kansas sung, "_We could see the angels swirling... vultures in circles now... we could see the road with no end, when all is said and done..._"

Kansas stood, flinging his arm behind him, eyes closed, and sang, "_And even when my palms get sweaty, I'm not gonna let you down! Ripping up a wedding dress and burning down our tiny house!_"

"Wow. He can sing," North Dakota murmured. "And... not badly, actually..." The lights focused on Kansas, as he put his heart into it, singing, "_We could be the rolling thunder! We could be THE LAST DANCE! I might be wrong, but I've been right for so long..._"

"_We've got it! What everyone else is just jealous of... so please, darling, you know I'm out of my mind with you!_"

"How is he _that good__?_" Washington whispered, gazing at the spectacle on stage: Kansas, all alone, singing his heart out, finally free from the conformity of his own team. "I mean... he's nailing _all of the lyrics_. All of them."

"_We've got it! What everyone else is just dreaming of... please... darling, you know I'm out of my mind, of my miiind..._"

"_Keep our balance... keep our balance... we keep our balance..._"

The tune gradually died down, as did the lights. A brief moment of silence, and then-

Everybody from Team Dakota except for North Dakota all stood and applauded for Kansas, their hero.

Even Chris wiped a tear from his eye. "That... was amazing. It really, truly was," he quietly acknowledged. Blaineley stood from her seat, and shouted, "Yes! _That_ is what I have been looking for! _That_ right there, ladies and gentlemen. Kid, whatever your name is, I give you a _ten_. You _rocked it_."

"His name is _Kansas!_" Chris sternly reminded Blaineley, "and he is now my _favorite_ kid from Team Dakota. I give him a nine."

"_Hey!_" North Dakota cried from the back row. "I - _I'm here too,_ you know!"

It was now Chef's turn to stand. "I ain't _that_ big a fan of electro-whatever that was," he told everyone, "but that was just about the best damned thing I seen all week. Felt just like a concert. I give ya a seven."

And now, everyone from Team Dakota cheered, even North Dakota. "We _won!_" she screamed. When Kansas arrived, beaming complacently at everyone, he received a huge hug and congratulations. "Dude, that was _terrific!_" Colorado yelled. "Just amazing. Damn. Kansas, you _rock_."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_90_mp3**

"This... is the first confessional I've ever made. And will probably be the last, for as long as North Dakota controls my team. I... just wanted to say... I don't regret doing this show anymore. I used to. It used to be a nightmare. It still is, to some extent. But... for just a moment, being able to rock out to my favorite song... it was _incredible_. Absolutely... absolutely amazing. I was actually _me_. I wasn't North Dakota's puppet, or 'that shy kid from Team Dakota. No, not Nebraska, the _other_ shy kid'. It... it was the best thing I've done in a long, long time."

Kansas

**11:39 AM.**

"Alright, alright!" Chris yelled, waving his hands. "Settle down, kids. We've got scoring to do. According to these results, the teams' scores are..."

...

"In first place, Team Dakota, with twenty-six points!"

Another cheer rose from the six. Chris raised a hand haltingly, and continued, "Tied for second, Teams Democracy and Victory both received twenty-_four_ points! In third place, we have Team America with eighteen points, and in last place... Team Touchdown. Eleven points out of thirty possible. Sorry, Touchdown, but you're going to the voting ceremony tonight!"

The seven groaned, dreading the possibility of losing another teammate. Chris beamed, amused. "Fantastic. Is anyone else hungry as hell? I'm sure there's a fast food place around here somewhere. Into the buses, everyone!"

**12:14 PM.**

Thirty contestants all crowded into an already packed McDonald's in downtown Cleveland. The previous customers had all been led out by police escorts, as this _was,_ in fact, a television show cast. As staff frantically prepared three dozen meals, everyone clumped together, regardless of team designation. It was chaos, sure, but nobody cared; everyone was discussing the victories and songs performed by the five singers.

"Delaware..." New Jersey began, taking a seat in a grimy, plastic chair next to her. "You were _amazing_. Like, wow. That way you sang Amazing Grace, it was like... my _heart_ was ready to _jump out_. Y'know what I mean?"

"Sure..." Delaware responded, cautiously sipping from her iced tea. "Whatever you say, Jersey."

"No, like... you were _beautiful_ up there..."

"Mhmmm. You've informed me multiple times."

As New Jersey persistently and determinedly hit on Delaware, North Dakota shielded her team away from everyone, even though a number of people from the other teams were desperate to talk to Kansas, who had become something of a celebrity after his rocking performance. Everybody wanted to talk to him.

"Stay back!" North Dakota yelled. "Our team doesn't need _any_ interference from the lesser teams. Keep away."

"Awww, come _on!_" Georgia whined. "He's... he's just _so cool!_"

North Dakota sneered at Georgia, and told her, "Try living with this kid for two months. He and Nebraska sleep with a night light on. Now move away, or I'll - I'll spill this drink all over you all."

Slowly, the crowd dissipated, leaving only disappointed girls. California huffed, and returned to Team Victory. "No luck," she reported, pouting. "He's... amazing. I would, like, _so_ have him for a boyfriend... how am I the hottest girl on this show, and yet I don't have a boyfriend yet?"

New Mexico shrugged, arm around Arizona. "No clue," he admitted, and popped a fry into his mouth. "But I _do_ know something. And that's the fact that Arizona is the most _amazing_ singer I know. Who cares about Kansas? He is _nothing_ compared to my girl."

California groaned, and slammed her head down lightly on the plastic table. "Ugh. Gawd. You two are so freakishly _adorable_ together."

Oregon dug into a salad. In between bites, he mentioned, "Washington told me the other day that Team Dakota's, like... like a dictatorship. Is that true? I always thought North Dakota was a mean girl, but... a _dictatorship?_"

Washington shrugged, sitting beside Oregon and eating a small hamburger. "Looks that way," he mumbled. "And she's really, really smart, mind you. Probably a lot smarter than me. I'd just stay away from her until we _have_ to deal with her."

Oregon then glanced nervously at Washington, and corrected, "Uh, I'm pretty sure _you're_ way smarter than her, Washington. This is _the_ most fun team. That much is for sure."

California's gaze drifted up to flick between Oregon and Washington. "Oh my gaaawd..." she muttered, nearly laying her head on a bed of salad. "I revoke my earlier statement. _You_ two are the most freakishly adorable together."

Washington stared bemusedly at California between mid-bite, as Oregon blushed furiously and instead diverted his attention to his half-eaten salad. Hawaii raised an eyebrow.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_91_mp3**

"Why does _everybody_ think Washington and I are a thing? I - this is the second time! The first time was ages ago, and it was from people that weren't even from my team, but... I... I'm not gay! I'm, um, really not! I just... I don't know. I just really like Washington's company. He's smart."

Oregon

**7:01 PM.**

"Hurry it up!" Chris yelled. "I haven't got all night, and right now we are _seriously_ pushing the film budget. Only thirty minutes per episode, kids! How are we supposed to fit all this footage into it?"

He received no response from the seven members of Team Touchdown, who all patiently awaited Chris's verdict on who was going home. There was an air of tension in the air; evidently a lot of people suspected Mississippi, but she was Alabama's girlfriend...

"When I call your name, you get a snack, blah-blah-blah," Chris began, evidently not really wanting to go into specifics. "The person who is voted off _cannot_ come back. So... sorry about that. Alabama, Georgia, and Louisiana! No votes."

Three tiny packets of Skittles were tossed to the safe contestants' way. Chris surveyed the remaining four, and shouted, "Tennessee... and Texas! No votes for either of _you!_ Looks like all the votes were directed between two people tonight. It's a little weird, but whatever."

Snacks were thrown, leaving only Mississippi... and Arkansas. Chris appeared grim. "Mississippi lost the challenge for this team!" he yelled. "However... she is _protected_ by a few of the most powerful members of this team. So... there's a problem there. Possibly an alliance is forming. Who knows. Arkansas, on the other hand, has widely been seen as a detriment to the team for the past two months. The only guy that's quiet can be _very_ easy to single out. However... the final bag of Doritos goes to..."

...

...

...

...

...

"...Mississippi."

The girl breathed a huge sigh of relief, as the bag landed into her waiting arms. Tennessee sprang up, and cried, "_Hey!_ Arkansas didn't even _do_ anything! Wh - why's _he_ going home? He's so nice!"

No tears were shed. Arkansas waved a hand gently, and murmured, "It's okay. I don't... I don't really mind. I've kind of been missing home, actually-"

"But _Mississippi's_ the one who should be going home!" Tennessee continued to protest. Louisiana nodded her head in agreement, but the others didn't seem to agree.

Arkansas lifted a heavy duffel bag from the depths of the bus, and saluted everybody. "Nice knowing all of you guys!" he said. "It's been a lot of fun. Um... good luck, team."

With that, he set off towards the cab in the distance, leaving a grim silence over the parking lot. The alliance that had condemned Arkansas off the team was growing slightly more powerful. Its presence could no longer be ignored.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_92_mp3**

"I kinda feel bad 'bout tellin' Tex, Miss'ssippi, an' Georgia to vote off Arkansas. He... he was a cool dude, I'll admit that much. But hell if I'm lettin' anyone take out my girlfriend. An' I mean that. She's everything to me. So, _sorry_ if I think she's a _little_ more important than some little... little nerd who I don't even know that well. Alright? Sorry."

Alabama

**ELIMINATED:** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, and Arkansas.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **Winkie4, Curcle, and GrassBlade-Chan!

**aspiringAnimator** - That moment when you try to type the word "song" but accidentally type "dong" and make yourself laugh out loud. And then you hate yourself slightly more because you just laughed at the fact that you accidentally typed the word "dong".

Onto the news. See those parentheses up there in the "Current Teams"? That's an alliance. I'm now including it any time an alliance is made officially. Expect more of that, especially as the teams grow ever-smaller before the merge.

Also, I _highly_ recommend you listen to the song Kansas sung. It's called The Last Dance, by the Limousines. It's not bad, and it probably makes this chapter make more sense when you can actually recognize that song.

Keep reviewing, and you _too_ can earn a spot on that list up above me! I like the response it's gotten so far. Are you terrified out of your wits about reviewing? Well, review as a guest! I still include guest reviews in that list. Anyways, until next time, everyone! I am beginning to pride myself on actually making the update on schedule every single deadline.


	23. Hypnophobia

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - **(**Alabama, Mississippi, and Texas**)**, Georgia, Louisiana, and Tennessee.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota.

**Team America** - **(**Illinois and Indiana**)** and **(**Maryland and Virginia**)**.

**EPISODE 22: HYPNOPHOBIA**

_"You guys are __really_ depressing. Did I say that before? Because you are." - Chris

**Monday, September 15th, 2014. Hot Springs National Park, Arkansas. 9:56 AM.**

Silence. A forest awoke slowly, cool breezes rustling its yellow leaves, until-

WHOOSH. Five long black buses sped by, heading to destinations unknown. Twenty-nine contestants remained on the show. Slowly... the buses were becoming devoid of people. No longer were they the bustling, crowded vehicles they once were.

For example, in Team Touchdown's bus, almost half of all the beds were empty now. It was growing depressing, seeing your bunk mate disappear one night, never to return, leaving only a tidy mattress behind.

It was actually rather scary.

As a sleepy, mid-September sun rose over the hills of Arkansas, Tennessee met with Georgia and Louisiana in the middle of the bus rather secretively.

"Okay, y'all," Tennessee whispered to the other two girls. "We got a problem.

Louisiana nodded furtively, while Georgia just looked confused. Tennessee frowned, yet continued, "It's real obvious by now... that there's somethin' of an alliance between Bama, his girlfriend, and his friend Tex. An' if we don't all wanna get voted off one by one before we even get to the merge... I think we ought to do somethin' 'bout it."

"I gotta agree," Louisiana murmured, glancing at the front of the bus at the intern driving it. "I mean... they hardly ever even speak to us anymore, or invite us to their... their card games. It's like we're hardly even on the team!"

"They have card games?" Georgia rather stupidly asked, and was shushed by Tennessee. "Point is," Tennessee reiterated, "there's three of us... and three of them. We got the upper hand, 'cause they don't know we're plannin' anythin'. But one side's goin' down, one way or another. An' I intend it not to be us."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_93_mp3**

"I absolutely _hate_ the fact that this team's... kinda fallin' apart. Used to, everyone was friends... it ain't like this on the other teams, right?"

Louisiana

**11:12 AM.**

"I need relationship advice, yo."

It was nearing the middle of the day in Team Democracy's bus, which rolled along the hills of Arkansas slowly, approaching their destination already, even though it was only Monday.

New Jersey approached Connecticut, looking serious. When Connecticut didn't respond, he groaned. "Connecticut. Yo. You hear me?"

"Huh?" Connecticut suddenly asked, whose nose was deep inside a thick Harry Potter book. "Oh. Sorry, Jersey. I was a tad busy. What do you want?"

"I... I need advice."

Connecticut scooted over on the bus's couch, allowing New Jersey to sit beside him. "What kind of advice?" he asked, curious, and not predicting the answer.

"...relationship advice," New Jersey revealed vaguely. Connecticut smiled a little, and looked down toward his book, shutting it. "You were smart to come to me, then. If you hadn't noticed, I'm the only person on this team with any romantic experience on this show."

When New Jersey looked doubtful at Connecticut's seriousness, Connecticut elaborated, "Okay, _sure_, it only lasted less than twelve hours, and she doesn't even like me anymore, and she's _gone_, but... I can help you out. It's about Delaware, isn't it?"

New Jersey nodded pitifully, completely shedding his "tough guy" exterior. Connecticut looked sympathetic, and murmured, "I assume I'm not the first person you went to for help."

He then shook his head pointedly. "Right..." Connecticut muttered. "Well... here's some advice. Right now, she kind of... seems... I dunno. Put off by you, I guess. You're kind of up-in-her-face about a lot of things."

New Jersey looked confused, and simply grabbed Connecticut's shirt desperately, stating nervously, "Yo, I - I know, I know, but - just - _tell me _what I'm doin' wrong. Exactly what I'm doin'! Tell me what to _do!_ N - New York told me to - to just _lay off_ her... Massachusetts says to 'follow my heart', whatever the hell that means - just _tell me exactly what it is I gotta do_. I can't be seen by my bros back home without a girl for two months now. It ain't happenin'."

Connecticut shakily backed away from New Jersey, and flattened his slightly crumpled t-shirt. "Well..." Connecticut muttered, pondering the question. "I guess... if _nothing_ else is working... you could always try harder."

...

"Try... _harder?_ You mean I ain't even tryin' _hard_ enough?"

"Could be," Connecticut reasoned, opening up his book again. "Be persistent about it, I guess. And be forward. That's how I got hooked up with Rhode Island. I just came out and told her."

New Jersey nodded slowly to that, as if he finally understood everything now. "I gotta... I gotta try _harder_ to win her heart..." he muttered, thinking deeply.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_94_mp3**

"Man, Connecticut's a real cool dude. He's the one who's actually _helpin'_ me with Delaware. Everyone else was just tellin' me to 'follow my heart' and 'do what's right'. Man, screw that garbage. Connecticut's right. That's not how I got chicks back home."

New Jersey

**1:21 PM.**

"Everybody out!" Chris ordered on that Monday afternoon. "We've got a _challenge to do!_"

Virginia groaned as she stepped out of her bus with the other three members of her team. "_Today?_" she asked incredulously. "We're doin' one today? We just _had_ one yesterday! It's Monday, Chris."

Chris grinned slyly to Virginia, and countered, "Well... this challenge is gonna take a few days to do. I'm calling it the Hypnophobia challenge. Hahahah."

Hawaii raised a hand, and proceeded to ask, "Yo, what's hypno... hyp... hypnobolia mean?"

"It's pronounced 'Hypnophobia'," Chris informed him, "and it means 'the fear of sleep'. Or at least, that's what Google told me a few minutes ago when I looked it up. Now, from that... can anyone guess what the challenge is?"

North Dakota raised her hand knowingly, smirking at the other contestants with their hands raised. "We're doing an 'Awake-A-Thon'," she stated as a matter-of-factly. "I remember the show did one in the very first season. Very creative, Chris. Using a challenge you've _already come up with before_."

Chris frowned at North Dakota, a little annoyed, yet confirmed it. "Yes!" he declared, eyeing North Dakota suspiciously. "An 'Awake-A-Thon'. First team to have all of their contestants fall asleep loses. Last team wins. This time, I'm at least hoping it'll last a few days. At _least_."

He then gestured vaguely to the forests around all of them. "This is your campground!" he declared. "There are cameras _everywhere_ here. If you gotta pee, there are bathrooms in the buses, as well as everything you might need. Coffee _is_ allowed... but I'm _very_ certain it'll become a valued commodity, because of how little there is in there. Materials for tents can be found in a few of the storage cabinets in the buses. Please, everyone, settle in. This challenge... is gonna take a long time. Don't fall asleep."

A few contestants began to retreat back into the buses, to retrieve some items they evidently needed. Chris pulled out his cell phone, and announced, "I'm ordering some pizza. I saw a Papa John's on the way over here. Is cheese alright with everyone?"

"I'm lactose intolerant!" Nebraska suddenly shouted out. Chris's eyebrows raised, as he muttered, "Don't care. Cheese for everyone, then. Got it. They'll be here soon."

**3:14 PM.**

The twenty-nine states were all sitting around a camp fire, chowing down from several dozen boxes of pizza. Chris was sitting in a lawn chair, wearing sunglasses, and attempting in vain to tan with his shirt off in the September sun. Several chairs and couches had been dragged out of the buses and into the clearing in the middle of the forest. The entirety of Team Victory and a few members from Democracy and Touchdown were all playing Duck-Duck-Goose.

"Duck... duck... duck..." Alabama muttered, walking around the circle. It was fairly obvious who he was going to pick, as Mississippi bounced where she sat excitedly. The two had been hogging all the turns, each picking the other every time.

As Alabama was getting ready to tap Mississippi on the head, Washington cleared his throat loudly, and quietly said, "Um... hey, guy from Touchdown... maybe it's an okay idea to... pick someone else for a change? Y'know... so we can all play."

A ton of people sitting in the circle started nodding their heads. Alabama was surprised there was ever a problem, yet consented, finally picking Maine. Surprisingly, she caught him, forcing Alabama to sit in the middle of the circle of contestants until god knew when.

"I think this is a pretty fun challenge!" New Mexico suddenly said, sunglasses glinting as Maine tapped lightly on everyone's heads, mumbling "Duck..." as she did so. "Like," New Mexico continued, "we don't gotta do much. All we need to do is not fall asleep."

Suddenly, Massachusetts from Team Democracy gasped, and dropped his pizza slice. "Holy crap, you guys," he quickly said, peering down at his fallen pizza. "What if the pizza is laced with - with _sleeping drugs_ or something?"

Slowly, everyone put down their pizzas, no longer hungry. "That... wow, that really does sound like something Chris would do..." Arizona mused worriedly. "I hope that's not the case."

Chris heard that, and promptly yelled from his plastic lawn chair, "Wow, thanks guys. You can't even trust me to give you pizza any more. Wooow. Also, that's not really a bad idea..."

"_Chris!_"

"I'm _kidding_. Probably."

**11:41 PM.**

The sun had set by now. A roaring campfire crackled in the middle of all the contestants. A perfect half-moon hung above everyone. Most people were reading books, sitting around the fire roasting marshmallows, or playing board games. Or... they were already asleep.

Such was the case with four contestants already: Georgia, Mississippi, Maryland, and California. All four girls had fallen asleep right when they typically would, if this weren't a challenge. California had even argued that she needed to get her "beauty sleep".

For everyone else, though, it was all a matter of staying awake that was the challenge. For this, New York, Massachusetts, Maine, Pennsylvania, Connecticut, and Delaware all played a game of Risk together. New Jersey just sort of hovered above them, pointing out mistakes and hitting on Delaware every few minutes, to the encouragement of Connecticut.

"It's your turn, York," Connecticut reminded, holding the dice out for him. "Yeah, I know," New York responded, peering down at his army. "How many troops do I get this round?"

"I dunno. I think you get... like, twelve."

"Mmmk."

New Jersey leaned over the board, and asked, "Wow, you're really trying to take Asia?"

"You're not playing, Jersey."

"Well, I mean, y'know... yo, it just... most of Delaware's territory is there, and-"

He was interrupted by a rather loud huff from Delaware. "New Jersey," she began, during her rare moments of irritation, "I really don't need your help right now. Please... just... find another team to play with. The top number of players in Risk is six..."

When New Jersey didn't respond, Delaware pointed towards Team Victory, and said, "Why don't you go play with them? They're playing Apples to Apples."

New Jersey took a few plodding steps back, and mumbled, "No, yeah, I know, I'll... I'll go, um... do that..."

...

"Alright," Hawaii said, holding up a green card. "The card says 'Tamed' on it. Be creative, guys. Give me something funny."

As Washington frowned, New Mexico held up a red card. "'Jennifer Lopez'," he announced, and handed the card over. Hawaii started laughing.

"So, this is like Cards Against Humanity, but not dirty?" Arizona asked, looking over her deck of cards. Hawaii nodded, and said, "Sort of. Except we don't go in turns, the green card goes to whoever wins."

"I've got one for 'Tamed'," Washington decided, and held out a card. "'My Personality'."

Hawaii was now shaking with laughter, and gasped, "Oh, wooow. Sorry, guys, but Washington takes the cake with this one-"

"Awww, I didn't even get to show mine," Oregon whined, as Washington selected a green card from the deck. "The card is... 'Angry'," he announced. "Show me something that makes you 'Angry'. Make me laugh!"

Suddenly the five noticed a figure approaching. Arizona squinted, and whispered, "Who's that?"

It was none other than New Jersey, of course. He awkwardly stood there, arms folded, looking incredibly nervous. "Hi," was all he said.

"Um. Hi," Washington said with a small wave. "You need something? Wait... you're... Connecticut... right?"

"No," he said quickly, shaking his head. "I'm, um... New Jersey. From, uh... Team Democracy..."

Washington then peeked behind New Jersey to look at the team. "Oh. They're playing Risk," he commented. "And Risk is... six players only, so..."

"So... I'm here..." New Jersey finished. "Hi, again."

Oregon patted the ground next to him gently, smiling. "You're welcome to join us," he offered. New Jersey hesitated, but finally sat down. "So..." he mumbled. "What are you guys... playing?"

"Apples to Apples," Arizona said, looking over her cards that would work for the word "Angry". "It's like Cards Against Humanity, but cleaner."

"Gotcha, gotcha..." New Jersey said slowly, taking a few red cards from the stack. "So... somethin' that makes you... angry?" he asked incredulously.

"Mhmm," Washington affirmed, as New Mexico handed him a card that said "Marriage", which only elicited a small chuckle from Washington.

Hawaii offered "Basketballs", which didn't make any sense. After a long pause, Oregon gave Washington "Taxes". Arizona only offered up the word "Adolf Hitler". When it was finally New Jersey's turn, he turned in a card that said "Chris McLean".

There was a long silence, broken only by Washington eventually saying, "Wow. There's... there's _actually_ a Chris McLean card in here?"

New Mexico looked down at the deck of red cards, and remarked, "There's _lots_ of celebrities in here. I'm not surprised." To that, Washington shrugged, and took the "Chris McLean" card. "Well, that one wins, then," he said. "I can't possibly think of a better fitting card than that one. Here you go, um... New Jersey. You get to draw a green card."

"Hear, hear!" Arizona giggled, as New Jersey drew a green card that had the word "Expensive" on it.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_95_mp3**

"I dunno... I'm... I'm not really feelin' it with these Team Victory people. I mean, sure, they're real nice guys, all of them, but... it just feels awkward, since I'm not even on their team. And I could _tell_ they felt sorry for me when they though I was left out! And I _wasn't_ left out of my own team! I was just... y'know... late to the Risk party."

New Jersey

**Tuesday, September 16th, 2014. Hot Springs National Park, Arkansas. 8:07 AM.**

A warm morning sun peeked through the tall pine trees of Hot Springs National Park. Over a dozen contestants slept soundly on the ground, not even making it through the first night. Chris was nowhere to be found; he was likely asleep in his own trailer a mile from here.

Only Alabama and Louisiana remained from Team Touchdown. In Team America, Indiana was quite literally the only person to not fall asleep, as she calmly sketched and listened to her iPod. In Team Touchdown, Maine, Connecticut, and Pennsylvania had all fallen asleep. Team Victory still had only one sleeper, California. However, in Team Dakota, the only person who had been permitted to sleep was South Dakota. Everyone else was wide awake.

"Keep _sharp_, you guys," North Dakota snapped, brandishing a long wooden cane at her four loyal followers. "If I catch any of you falling asleep, and we lose, then you're getting voted off."

"Yes, Glorious Leader," Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, and Oklahoma all simultaneously responded, looking straight ahead. North Dakota seemed satisfied, and rubbed her eyes. "God. I'm getting tired."

Just then, Illinois groggily lifted his head from the forest floor, peering around and brushing sticks and dirt off his hair. "Ow..." he muttered. "Did I fall asleep?"

Indiana nodded in response. "All of you guys did," she murmured. "One by one. Maryland, Virginia, and then you, Illinois. _Nice going_."

"The sarcasm isn't necessary, y'know," he responded sleepily, and yawned. "Jeez," he continued. "Well, you haven't fallen asleep, at least. Just don't, alright? We can't lose another challenge."

"Ah. Oh boy, a challenge that completely depends on me now," she droned, looking a little bored. "Sounds like _fun_."

Illinois shot Indiana a glare, and glanced nervously at the still unconscious figures of Virginia and Maryland.

Over on another edge of the clearing, a discarded game of Apples to Apples sat. In its place, Arizona was teaching all of the boys on her team how to knit. The only person who had actually made any good progress was Oregon, who claimed to have knit scarves before.

"Mine's stuck again..." Hawaii muttered, looking at his knitting needles. "This is impossible."

"No, look, it's not!" Oregon insisted, holding up his own half-completed length of fabric. "I made a little criss-cross design along the middle... it just takes a lot of patience."

New Mexico yawned, stretching. "I dunno, guys... this challenge's pretty boring," he muttered. "Any of you guys want some food? I'm thinkin' of heading back into the bus for some Hot Pockets or something."

"I'll take one," Washington murmured, as Hawaii raised his hand as well.

**7:30 PM.**

The second day was nearly over. At this point, Alabama was the only contestant from Team Touchdown. In Team Democracy, the only remaining contestants were New York, Delaware, and Massachusetts. New Jersey had just fallen asleep, curled into a ball a short distance away. Oregon and Arizona had fallen in Team Victory, joining California, who had since woke up. Things were a little different in Team Dakota, however.

"Come _on!_" North Dakota screamed, kicking Kansas in the gut, who was lying unconscious in the grass. "Wake _up!_ You are _not_ falling asleep on me, kid."

"Hey, hey, hey, leave him alone," Colorado intervened, trying to get North Dakota to stop, but she just turned on him instead. "Don't _tell_ me what to do!" she snapped. "All _you_ need to do is focus on staying awake."

"Hey, um... be easy on them, sis," South Dakota murmured, climbing out of her team's bus. She evidently had been awake for a while. "They don't deserve that kind of treatment..."

North Dakota groaned, and slid her cane back into its "holster". "_Fine_," North Dakota moaned. "But they should be pulling their weight. Seriously. This is unacceptable."

South Dakota rolled her eyes a little irritably at her sister, and grabbed a blanket from the bus, lying it over Kansas. "And don't forget, he _did_ win us the challenge just two days ago," she reminded North Dakota. "Just saying. Maybe Kansas deserves a little more respect."

It was North Dakota's turn to roll her eyes, as she strode off, kicking a can in her way. "Whatever."

Just then, Chris climbed out of a limo, smiling brightly at the contestants. Half of everyone was lying on the ground, asleep, but awoke when they heard-

"_HELLO, CONTESTANTS!_" Chris shouted into a bullhorn, making a few people squeal out of fear. "_JUST A QUICK EVENING STATUS UPDATE! JUST TO LET YOU GUYS KNOW._"_  
_

The bullhorn was shut off, as Chris grinned around at everyone. Most people had immediately woken up at his yell, terrified at the fact that they'd accidentally fallen asleep, letting down their teams.

"Ahem!" Chris began. "It's seven thirty-two PM of the second night! Currently, eleven contestants are still awake! They are as follows: Alabama, from Team Touchdown... New York, Massachusetts, and Delaware from Team Democracy... Washington, New Mexico, and Hawaii from Team Victory... and North Dakota, Oklahoma, Colorado, and Nebraska from Team Dakota! Which means-"

"_Hey!_" Illinois shouted, interrupting Chris. "You forgot Indiana. She's still awake."

Chris grinned at Illinois, clearly very amused. "Is that so?" he asked. "Why not take a look at her real quick for me?"

Slowly, Illinois revolved on the spot to look at Indiana. She was propped up against a large boulder in a sitting position. However, there was something very wrong with her head. It was tilted at a forty-five degree angle. And she was snoring. Illinois face palmed.

"_Which means_..." Chris continued, as though he were never interrupted, "Team America has officially lost the challenge, because all four of its contestants have fallen asleep before the other teams!"

Sleepy cheers went up into the air from everyone else. Illinois stared defeatedly at Indiana's unconscious form. "Does that mean the challenge is over?" New York asked eagerly. Chris grinned further.

"Nope!" he responded. "In fact, to keep this going for a _little_ while longer... I've devised a, uh... sort of _reward_ for the team to last the _longest_ in this challenge. Behold!"

Five boxes filled to the brim with electronics were currently being hauled out of a truck by some interns. Chris beamed at everyone. "For the team to last the longest," he began, "every team member will gain unrestricted use of their cellular devices until the weekend! How's that sound?"_  
_

There was a long silence, as everyone stared eagerly at the electronics. "Well! That's all I have to share with you kids for now," Chris then said, looking around at everyone with another grin. "I'm heading back to the trailer. _Don't_ fall asleep."

**Wednesday, September 17th, 2014. Hot Springs National Park, Arkansas. 4:48 PM.**

A third sun began to descend towards the horizon once more. It was now Wednesday.

Over fifty hours had passed since the beginning of the challenge. Most people had fallen asleep by now, and had woken up again, and had gotten on with their lives, mainly just hanging out in their buses as usual. Except for three remaining contestants.

New York.

North Dakota.

Washington.

Those three had endured sleep deprivation beyond measure, absolutely desperate to win the prize for their team. After North Dakota's strategy of "beat everybody who falls asleep with a cane" failed, she set out to be the one to win for her team. New York, was propelled by ambitions to be the hero and win back the phones and electronics for his team. Washington, on the other hand, simply seemed used to staying awake, though this was clearly much longer than usual.

The point of the challenge, of course, had been to stay awake as long as possible. But at this point, Chris was absolutely sick to death of it.

"_Alright!_" he screamed at everyone rather unexpectedly. "You _win!_"

New York blinked, eyes shadowy and struggling to stay open. "We... we what?" he asked stupidly.

"You win," Chris muttered, sighing. "I honestly didn't think anyone would get anywhere past last night. But _Jesus_, you guys! Why won't you fall _asleep__?_"

Washington just offered a shrug. North Dakota appeared offended. Chris waved a hand carelessly, and announced, "Team Democracy, Team Dakota, and Team Victory have all won use of their phones and electronics until this weekend. Team Touchdown, sorry, but Alabama fell asleep this morning, so your team doesn't get any. As for the _losing_ team..."

Chris then faced the four members of Team America, grinning maliciously. "_Wow,_" was all he began with. "Really. You kids just _love_ voting. _You_ guys should have gone with the name Democracy! It'd be so much more fitting."

Indiana groaned, rubbing her head tiredly. Illinois glared at his three teammates, right until Chris clapped his hands, and yelled, "Chop, chop! Time for voting. Interns... interns, go dish out their stuff to the winning teams. As for Team America, get in the bus. We're going for a quick drive to the nearest parking lot available."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_96_mp3**

"Ohhh, no. No, no, no. This is bad. This is _really_ bad. I think our team might still be cursed. As in, _somehow_, Michigan's legacy still lives with us, regardless of the fact that Ohio's gone. _Damn!_ Why does our team just _suck_ so bad?"

Illinois

**5:15 PM.**

One bus roared through the Arkansas countryside. Team America's. There wasn't much time before it would be stopped, votes would be cast, and one of the four remaining would be going home.

Everybody was panicking. There was no way this was ending well.

"It was _your fault!_" Virginia cried at Illinois. "You - you've kept this team _apart_ with your _stupid alliances!_ It was better under Ohio! At least he kept us together!"

"Oh, _please!_" Illinois shouted. "This is ridiculous. There _are_ no alliances. Get that crazy idea out of your head. And if it's _anybody's_ fault, it's _yours,_ Virginia. You actually were _friends_ with Ohio."

"What's _that_ got to do with anything?"

"_GUYS!_" Indiana shouted from her position on the couch. "Shut _up!_ I'm trying to read here."

Virginia threw her arms off exasperatedly. "Screw this..." she muttered. "I'm gonna go find Maryland."

"Oh, sure!" Illinois called after her as she ran out. "Go run to your _alliance partner_. What a great fat lot of good that'll do."

Illinois rubbed his head vigorously, and proceeded to kick a table. "_AGH!_" he screamed. "This is _terrible_. It's a dead tie between the four of us. Two of us and two of them."

"You say 'us' like I'm actually _allied_ with you," Indiana pointed out, looking uninterested. Illinois groaned, and yelled, "Do you just not _care_, Indiana? Is that what it's like to be you? You just don't care about _anything? _Well, _boy howdy,_ that would be _swell_ if I didn't have to care about the show. It's just a _game!_ It's not like there's a _million dollars at stake here!_ And my reputation!"

Indiana scoffed, muttering, "_What_ reputation? Is it your rep for being such a huge pervert and weirdo all the time? Because you have _all_ the 'reputation' in that department."

"Shut up. I'm trying to think."

A few moments went by. Illinois sighed. "I just don't see a way past any of this," he whined. "The voting part, I mean. The two of us will pick one of them to vote off. And they'll pick one of us to vote off. It's a _dead end tie_ either way."

"Maybe that means nobody'll be voted off."

Illinois laughed at loud at Indiana's comment. "Right. And I'm Winston Churchill. Trust me, Indiana, _someone's getting voted off_. And I'm not going to let it be one of us."

**6:57 PM.**

"_Hello_, soon-to-be triplet!" Chris greeted the four members of Team America. "Have a good nap after that challenge?" he asked. "Well, doesn't matter. One of the four of you is going home."

There was a long silence after that remark. Chris narrowed his eyes. "Well, let's get started. I'm just gonna come out and say before we start that this was an exact tie. Two votes for Virginia. Two votes for Illinois."

This was to be expected, of course. Nobody was surprised. "However," Chris continued, "we _do_ have methods to break ties on this show. Interestingly enough, I've never had to use it before now! You guys remember drawing _straws_, right?"

Chris produced four straws in his hand. The bottoms couldn't be seen. The tops all _looked_ like equal heights, but if anything was known about drawing straws, it was that one of them was way shorter than the others. Chris smiled malevolently. "I took a look at some of the footage I missed!" he mentioned. "And in that plane challenge - boy, what a catastrophe _that_ was - I noticed you guys drew straws to figure out who was flying. So now, you'll be drawing straws to figure out who's leaving! Neat, huh?"

Illinois gulped. "Let's just get this over with..." he mumbled, and took a straw. In his hand, it was incredibly hard to tell how long it was, because there were no other straws to compare it to. Indiana rolled her eyes, muttered, "This is stupid..." and plucked a second straw from Chris's hand. It was the same length as Illinois's.

"Ah! Look at that!" Chris said, pointing at the two straws held by Illinois and Indiana. "Looks like neither of them are going home. So... that means..."

He rounded on Virginia and Maryland. Behind him, Illinois was silently fist-pumping the air in triumph. There was a brief silence as Chris offered the two remaining straws. It was utterly impossible to tell which was shorter.

"Guess... I'll... take..." Virginia began, sucking in her breath. "..._this_ one..."

She pulled it out of Chris's hand, and compared it to the ones Illinois and Indiana pulled out.

It was the same size.

Maryland was left with the last one. When she pulled _it_ out... it was about two inches shorter than all the others.

"Uh oh!" Chris yelled, grinning at the simply hilarious result. "Looks like Maryland got the short one!"

Virginia sighed in defeat, as Maryland merely shrugged, trying to downplay what had just happened to her. Tears were beginning to collect in her eyes. Without so much as another word, she retreated back into the bus to fetch her things. Chris's eyebrows were doing some sort of dance as he tried to gauge the proper reaction to all this.

"Looks... like... Maryland's going home, then?" he suggested. Moments later, and Maryland had her bright pink backpack on her back, filled with everything she brought on the show. "Bye, guys..." she whispered. And then, she hugged Virginia, who was a little bit bigger than her.

Illinois was looking slightly guilty, as Maryland gave a friendly good-bye wave to Indiana. She then walked right past Illinois, and towards the taxi in the distance.

Chris sighed, and looked over the remaining three contestants of Team America: Indiana, Virginia, and Illinois. "You guys are _really_ depressing," he mentioned again. "Did I say that before? Because you are. Stop losing challenges, you guys! The fans are getting upset. Anyway. Back into the buses, I guess. It's time to meet up with everyone else."

As Chris climbed into his limo, Illinois stopped Virginia right before she was about to board the bus. "What? What is it?" she asked, looking a little afraid. She was, after all, outnumbered two-to-one. Illinois merely smiled in return. "I just wanted to say that you're forgiven," he told her. "For... ah... straying from the flock. But your alliance partner is gone now, and after a brief consideration, I... have decided to let you become formally partnered with me and Indiana."

"I see..." Virginia mused, looking a little worried. "So lemme get this straight. I got no choice in this. You're letting me back into your group because you _need_me, not because you like who I am or anything. And on top of all that, if our team loses again, I'll be the first to be voted off. Is that close?"

Illinois's eyes narrowed. "Just watch your step," he warned. "I'm doing this because I'm _nice,_ not because I want to or anything. But also, because unity makes teams strong."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_97_mp3**

"I'm no idiot. Not accepting Virginia back would be suicidal. I mean, I've only got _Indiana_ on my side, for crying out loud. This team is literally _nothing_ anymore. But... make the best with what you're given. Having Virginia on my side _does_ mean unity. And if we want to survive to the merge, _unity_ is what'll stop us from losing again, and again, and again. This can't be the losing team. It just can't be."

Illinois

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, and Maryland.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO:** TheWriterGirl09271998 and Winkie4!

**aspiringAnimator -** Fireworks go off. I bow grandly, and unveil a giant white curtain. But alas! 'Tis only yet another episode of The Fifty State Roadtrip. Everybody is really disappointed and walks away.

Here's your Wednesday episode on schedule! I hope I don't really screw up my grades by spending so much time on these. I'm in AP, y'know. But hey, this is only for another three months, and if I can handle two and a half, then I can handle another three.

Please review! You'll get your name up there, and BOOM. Everybody knows you. Wow. The crowd goes wild with your name. "Yes," they cry in unison. "That is great. We love that. Show us your name again." You can't ignore their requests. You _have_ to review. Your name _must_ go on that list for generations to come.


	24. The September Debates

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - **(**Alabama, Mississippi, and Texas**) **and **(**Georgia, Louisiana, and Tennessee**)**.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 23: THE SEPTEMBER DEBATES**

_"I know what's goin' on." - Texas_

**Sunday, September 21st, 2014. Baltimore, Maryland. 9:11 AM.**

Baltimore.

In the mid 17th century, Lord Baltimore received a charter to establish a colony north of the Chesapeake Bay area, intended as a haven for persecuted Catholics from England. Almost four hundred years later, and it's one of the most diverse cities on the Atlantic coast.

"Hey! Wait up!" Hawaii yelled to his team as they walked along the crowded downtown streets of Baltimore. A light, chilly sprinkle of rain was coming down from stark steel clouds. Huge skyscrapers loomed all around them, as did tall businessmen, who seemed to regard the crowd of twenty-something teenagers as a nuisance, rather than international celebrities.

"Guys, there's a Macy's up here!" Oregon announced. "We can't just skip _all_ the shops! Come _on!_ California and I will only be a second!"

As California and Oregon both ran into the huge department store, the rest of Team Victory groaned as the other teams passed them by, sightseeing during a rare moment that Chris hadn't assigned them to stay in the bus.

"God, it's cold out here..." Washington muttered, shrinking into his deep blue scarf. "I don't get it. We don't need to go shopping at _every_ place we see."

"To be fair, though," Arizona reminded him, "we haven't been in a big city for what feels like weeks... it's a nice change in place. And it's not like we'll ever come back to Baltimore on our own time..."

"I might!" Delaware said, walking up to them. "My aunt lives here," she informed them all. "So sometimes I get to stay at her apartment."

A few other members of Team Democracy walked up. "It's really not that cold," Maine murmured, looking up at the dark, rainy skies. "Just wait 'til some of you guys see snow. Shouldn't be long, after all."

New Mexico's face lit up at the mention of snow. "But it's September," he reminded Maine. "So... we're not getting snow for a _long_ time."

Maine shrugged, after nearly being knocked down by a suited man who seemed late to a meeting. "Trust me, these weeks will go by faster than you'd think," she murmured. "I wonder if we'll be doing a Halloween-themed challenge when that comes around."

Just then, a figure popped up, startling them all. "Hi, guys!" Chris yelled, dusting himself off. Pennsylvania squealed, and jerked back from him. "Sorry if I just gave you all a scare," he muttered, winking, "but _remember_, we've all got a challenge to do at noon today-"

"Yeah, whatever, Chris," New Jersey told him. "We're just lookin' around. It's not like we get to roam around a big city _every_ day-"

"Don't make me tell you to go stand in the corner again, Jersey!" Chris cried, looking more than outraged. "I'm just _saying_, everyone, that we all need to be at City Hall by noon for today's challenge."

"What _is_ today's challenge, anyway?" Washington asked keenly. Chris just gave a vague, mysterious shrug. "Who knows? Not me," he lied. "Just make sure everyone gets to City Hall on time, and we'll be good. Alright? Alright."

And just like that, Chris disappeared into the fray of people, like a mysterious ghost... or, rather, an incredibly douchey guy who's a sucker for drama.

**11:38 AM.**

The trio of Team America casually strode through the streets of Baltimore, looking at all the shopping and businesses all around. With them, Georgia, Louisiana, and Tennessee had tagged along, strangely enough.

"Where the hell's City Hall?" Illinois mumbled, kicking a soda can in his way. "We've been walking around for hours now in this stupid, over-sized city. My legs are killing me."

"Oh _no_, walking around in a first-world country while we're on an internationally famous TV show is just so _terrible_," Indiana remarked, smirking slightly. Illinois scowled at her, and replied, "_Really_ not in the mood for your sarcasm right now, Indiana."

The six walked in silence for a few minutes longer, utterly lost within the city of Baltimore. And then, Virginia asked, "So... _why_ are you three followin' us again? I mean, I'm not complainin', but... don't you got your _own_ team to hang out with?"

Tennessee looked down momentarily. "Um, yeah..." she mumbled. "But... I dunno, we just kind of wanted to be with a different team for a little bit... I hope y'all don't mind."

"Hey! Y'all, check it out!" Georgia exclaimed pointing at a large building a few blocks away. "Ain't that the capital building?"

Louisiana peered closer at what she was pointing at. There was a large American flag above a wide dome on the roof. "I think that's it!" she replied. "Come on! Hopefully Chris hasn't started the challenge yet..."

The six ran up to the structure, to find Chris waving at them as he stood in front of a crowd of about twenty other contestants. "There you kids are!" he yelled as the six approached. "I was about to start the challenge without you! Whatever. Sit tight, and lemme explain the challenge."

Chris stood up straight, and faced the twenty-eight contestants standing in front of him. "We're doing a debate!" he announced. "It's a little special. You must volunteer to debate on behalf of your team. It's only one person at a time, and all in order to change my opinion on a certain topic-"

"Excuse me," Washington interrupted, shrinking slightly at Chris's instantaneous glare. "But what exactly _is_ the topic-"

"I was about to _get_ to that!" Chris yelled. "The debate topic of the day is 'Which Team is Better'! You must convince me that your team is better than all the other teams. Whichever team _does_ that, in my opinion, wins! And whichever team does the worst job in my opinion, loses. Sounds like fun?"

The challenge seemed daunting to a lot of people. After all... Chris was a very, _very_ erratic guy. Chris clapped his hands, and declared, "Well. Into the court room, everybody! We've only got it rented for an hour, and this stuff costs a _ton_, so... make the most of it! Chef, escort our contestants inside!"

Everyone nervously entered, by the menacing beckoning of Chef himself. Inside, a high dome was stationed high above, letting in a gentle noon light. Ahead, a huge circular room awaited. A large podium rested in the center of the room. Far around it, dozens of chairs sat. Fifty-six feet nervously walked along the marble floors, creating little tapping noises as they walked in. "Behold!" Chris declared, gesturing to the huge room. "Cool, huh? This is where we'll be debating. Now take yours seats, kids. We need to begin."

All of the contestants started filing into the chairs surrounding the center podium, being seated according to teams. Once everyone was situated, Chris clapped his hands officially, and cried, "I need a volunteer for the opening statements!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_98_mp3**

"I didn't really _want_ to be the first volunteer, but... nobody else accepted. So everyone sitting there for over two minutes, nervously glancing at each other, so I just said, 'screw it, I'm gonna be _that guy_'. But in all, I think I did a good job of representing my team."

New York

**12:02 PM.**

"Great!" Chris shouted, after New York had finally volunteered. "Finally, we got someone to come up. Alright, New York, let's hear what you got."

New York nervously shuffled out of his chair, and towards the tall podium. Once he finally stood up there, he began to shrink slightly at the daunting task of having to face everybody on the show.

"Um. Hi," he said into the microphone nervously. "For those of you who don't know, um... I'm New York. I represent Team Democracy."

New Jersey suddenly stood from his seat, and started clapping for New York. "_Woo!_" he cried. "Go Democracy!"

"Uh, yeah, thanks, Jersey," New York said irritably, gesturing for him to sit down. "I suppose I'm here to give the opening statements. Well, Chris, if you want to know which team is best, it's obviously Team Democracy."

Slowly, everybody from all the other teams began to resent New York as he elaborated. "I mean," New York continued, "we're one of the only teams so far that hasn't completely devolved into either a dictatorship or a two-sided alliance feud. Not only that, but out of _all_ the teams, we have the most people. We've kept seven out of our initial ten. You can't say that about a team like America."

"Hey!" Illinois cried out in retaliation, but he was quieted by Chris. "Shoosh!" Chris whispered. "You can only talk when you're up on the podium."

"Like I was saying," New York continued, as if he hadn't been interrupted by Illinois. "Team Democracy... is the way to go. And sure, we're not perfect, but nobody is. If anything, though, we _are_ the most intelligent team. For example..."

New York's words were getting nowhere for a few of the contestants. In fact, Mississippi and Georgia were whispering away in the audience, chatting about the boys on the other teams.

"I don't know, Mississippi..." Georgia whispered, nervously glancing around. "What about that Connecticut kid? He had a girlfriend one time!"

"Yeah, for one day!" Mississippi reminded Georgia. "If you were his girlfriend, the same thing would probably happen to you! Think of someone else."

"Hmm..." Georgia muttered, peering around at all the other contestants in the stands as New York droned on and on. "How about... Illinois?"

Mississippi wrinkled her nose at that. "Ew," she mumbled. "Indiana told me that kid is a pervert or a weirdo or something."

"But he _did_ make it to the final three in his team-"

"Doesn't matter. Pick someone else."

Georgia groaned rather loudly. "Everybody else is taken, though!" she whispered to Mississippi. "And if they're not taken, they're a creep, or gay, or otherwise _unavailable!_ I bet Michigan would've been a nice guy..."

"Texas is always an option, Georgia..."

"Hey!" Chris suddenly yelled at the two girls, who instantly went as white as a sheet. "What did I say? No talking unless you're up on the podium!"

New York stood there for a few moments, eyeing Georgia and Mississippi suspiciously. "And that's exactly what I'm talking about," he said after nervously coming his hair with his hand. "The other teams don't take this show seriously. Chatting in the audience like that isn't good conduct. But you don't find that with Team Democracy. So... that's my point."

"Well said!" Chris acknowledged. "Does anyone want to volunteer for a rebuttal?"

Surprisingly, Virginia immediately stood up for her team, looking determined. "I do!" she announced, raising her hand. Chris shrugged, and waved her towards the podium, which New York was currently climbing down. When Virginia had finally taken her place at the tall podium, she declared, "Team America... is often seen as the underdogs. Especially lately. But does that mean we should be judged any different? Sure, we're a three person team, but the fact that we can stand up to all these other teams with just our small size speaks for itself! Hell, I'd say-"

"Objection!" North Dakota yelled, smirking slightly. Chris sighed, and said, "Objection allowed, what's your point, North Dakota?"

North Dakota stood from her chair, and said, "Team America has lost almost every challenge since that Aftermath. If they're not bickering, they're forging terrible alliances that last only for less than a week. That team's going to be the first to go. Instead, look at my team, Chris. Six people out of ten remaining, after _twenty-two challenges_ so far. What does that say? Says a lot, in my opinion."

Chris was nodding, looking a little impressed at North Dakota's tactics. "Go sit down, Virginia," he said. "Would anybody like to refute North Dakota's point and come up to the podium?"

After several agonizingly long moments, in which nobody volunteered, Massachusetts finally stood, representing his team. "Yeah. I guess I do," he muttered, climbing out of his chair, and stepping over to the tall wooden podium. Once he was ready to address everybody, he cleared his throat, and muttered, "...hi. I'm Massachusetts. We've all heard the tales of horror from Team Dakota. Just last week I heard one about how North Dakota doesn't feed her teammates, or that she has several cell phones hoarded up. Well, all those tales are true. Probably. From what I've seen thus far, Team Dakota is one of the most sickening teams to possibly have the misfortune of being on. I have the deepest sympathies for anyone who was assigned to her team."

His words resonated widely with everyone. Nebraska was looking a little guilty, evidently for abandoning his hopes of rebellion against North Dakota. North Dakota, on the other hand, was looking incredibly, increasingly pissed at Massachusetts.

"New York was right in his words about Team Democracy," Massachusetts continued, looking a little more nervous now. "We're _the__ largest_ team in the game. That has to speak for itself. We have _survived_."

"Very nice, Massachusetts!" Chris complimented. "Take a seat. Anybody want to come up next?"

Louisiana raised a hand. "I would like to represent Team Touchdown!" she declared. Chris pointed at Massachusetts for him to climb down from the podium, and directed Louisiana to go take her place. "Right," she said once she was finally in place. "I'm Louisiana."

...

"Anyway," she continued, looking slightly flustered, "Team Touchdown is the best team, 'cause, um... because we ain't... fake?"

Chris didn't look impressed. "Like," Louisiana explained, "none of us are tryin' to be someone that we ain't. We're real. We're not like the other teams. _And_, we have a _little _more than _three members_."

Illinois scoffed at that, but didn't say anything for fear of being called out by Chris again. Chris waited a few more seconds, and then asked, "Is that all?", to which Louisiana nodded her head stiffly. "Well, alright, then," Chris decided, and checked his watch. "Let's see... it's about twelve thirty, so... let's all take a lunch break!"

Everyone cheered inside the huge, echoing room. "Who's the caterer?" Alabama eagerly asked. "Chef!" Chris announced, pointing at the apron'd man at the door. "He's cooked up a _delicious_ buffet for everyone. Come on, kids, into the lobby."

**12:34 PM.**

Chris led the kids back into the main lobby, where a row of tables were set up before a menacing looking Chef Hatchet, who had his arms folded and a menacing sneer on his visage. On the tables, lumps of brown sludge awaited, dripping wetly before them. Chris checked his watch, and announced, "I'm gonna go outside to where they've got the catering trucks for the camera crew. We ordered Chik-fil-A!"

Chris then disappeared out the front door, leaving the twenty-eight contestants all alone. Nebraska nervously raised a hand, and asked, "Um... is that food safe?"

"Safe?" Chef barked, looking down at the slop. "Why - _boy_, I ought'a knock some sense into that thick skull o' yours. My mama taught me this recipe."

Everyone looked confused now, peering curiously at the heinous mixture. "Nah, just kiddin'," Chef said with a chuckle. "I mainly just use whatever grease is left up on the floor in the kitchen an' cook that with a couple slabs o' hamburger meat. Makes yo' toots come out like _fire_."

And with that, it was utterly and completely assured that nobody would touch that food until the halftime ended.

"Man, this challenge is pretty boring, am I right?" New Jersey lamented to a few of his teammates. Delaware frowned, and mumbled, "Well.. I don't know, I kind of had fun... it's a lot of fun to just go up there and talk about your viewpoints and try to get Chris to see your way."

"Oh, yeah, totally!" New Jersey instantly said after a moment's worth of blinking. "Yeah, it's - wow - yes, definitely. Sign me _up_. Hells of yes. Debate is _so cool!_"

New York face palmed, as Delaware began to inch away from New Jersey again.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_99_mp3**

"I think I've got a problem on my hands. I've sort of been trying to ignore it or hope it'll go away, but... I'm talking about the Jersey-Delaware problem. New Jersey will _not_ leave Delaware alone. Now, I value Delaware a _lot;_ she's a fantastic friend, and a great person, but... we _need_ someone physical like New Jersey. Without him, our best bet is - is _me_, and I am _terrible_ at everything physical! So that's saying something. I just doubt anyone's gonna actually believe me when I say that we need him."

New York

**12:41 PM.**

"Alright, kids, we're running late!" Chris announced, running into the lobby rather unexpectedly. "Have you all had your fill? Wait, don't answer that. I don't care. Everyone, let's get back into the debate room, we've only got about twenty more minutes and we still haven't heard from one of the teams."

Nobody really seemed to want to argue against getting away from Chef's brown slop, so everyone went back into the debate room without much qualms.

When most people had finally taken their places, Chris checked his watch again, and yelled, "Alright, Team Victory, I need a representative! We haven't heard from you guys yet, so let's make this snappy."

Everyone in Team Victory all looked instantly to Washington, who sighed and stood. "I guess that's me," Washington muttered, climbing down from his chair and heading to the podium. He cleared his throat, and then looked seriously at everyone.

"Hi. I'm Washington," he greeted. "What I've primarily noticed in this debate thus far is everyone talking about their teams, and... _omitting_ any bad parts. I find this to be bad form. So, instead... I'm going to tell why each individual person on this team is a valued addition."

This was an unexpected development. Chris seemed curious, while everyone from Team Victory who _wasn't_ Washington were all immediately trying to hide in their seats. After Washington waited for a few seconds, he began, "California! The beauty of the West Coast. As she stated herself, it is an absolute _tragedy_ that she is still single after so long on the show. But the reason she's a fantastic member of this team is her _common sense_, something a lot of us are missing every now and then. Sure, she sometimes says things that don't make too much sense, but between you and me, she knows a _lot_ more about you than she lets on. Plus, she has terrific knowledge in shopping."

California put a small hand to her mouth, a little embarrassed, yet said bashfully, "It's true. I clock in at twenty hours a week shopping."

Washington grinned for a moment, and then pressed on. "Hawaii!" he yelled. "His skills in piloting can't be matched. Not only that, but he's an excellent mechanic, and pretty open about his feelings. I don't mean to embarrass you," Washington disclaimed, as Hawaii sunk into his chair, absolutely flustered, "I just want everyone to know why you're part of the reason why you're so valued. But moving on to Arizona."

Washington then smiled at the red-head, who was looking a little apprehensive as to what Washington would say. "Arizona is one of the brightest contestants I know on this show," Washington claimed, looking around at everyone. "She's compassionate and caring. _She_ was the one who stayed behind for Alaska when Alaska had heat stroke in the _second challenge_. _She_ was the one who was concerned about Montana's health, after she collapsed in Rhode Island. Arizona cares for the weak, for the minorities, and for those who otherwise cannot care for themselves. She is absolutely _irreplaceable._"

Arizona had her head in her hands, and was blushing furiously at everyone's curious stares toward her. Washington let his words sink in for a moment longer, and then declared, "New Mexico! The absolute_ powerhouse_ of the team. His strength cannot be matched. Not only that, but he's probably the _coolest contestant on the show_. He wears shades indoors. You can't get cooler than that."

New Mexico grinned a little at that, laughing to himself, light flicking off his shades. "And, not only that," Washington continued, "but he and Arizona make just about the most _perfect_ pairing I've ever seen. They are _so_ cute together."

To that, New Mexico scooted a little closer to Arizona, and put his arm around her, forcing her to blush an ever-deeper red and bury her head into her arms. "And lastly... Oregon," Washington finally said.

"Oregon... is one of my closest friends on this show so far," Washington explained, looking a little nervous for the first time. "He's incredibly nice, fiercely loyal, and has a fabulous fashion sense. He was kind enough not to judge me when I... well, I mean... he's not a judgmental person, is all I'm saying. He's... he's my friend, and honestly one of the truest ones I've had in my entire life, even before this show. So... yeah."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_100_mp3**

"Okay, wow... Washington is officially the _sweetest_ guy on the show. Ever. Hands down. Gawd, I'm probably just _gushing_ here about him, but it's true. If I had to date any guy on this show, it would be him. Um, except for the fact that I'm not gay like him. Or that I'd even consider, uh... doing something like that."

Oregon

**12:53 PM.**

"You see," Washington continued, as Oregon was blushing furiously and trying to hide his face with his hands, "it's not about omitting the parts of your team that you don't like. For example, a team with literally just _Hawaii_ in it wouldn't work out at all - but a team with everybody _except_ Hawaii would never be completed. Everyone has a part to play. And that is _exactly_ what a team is."

Chris, after a long, thoughtful pause, glanced down to check at his watch, and nearly jumped. "Alright, anyone wanna refute that? Because we're almost out of time," Chris explained. "City Council's coming in here in thirty minutes, and we gotta make it seem like we were never here-"

Before Chris could finish his sentence, New Jersey jumped up spastically from his chair. "I got somethin' to say!" he announced, and tromped over to the podium, nearly knocking Washington out of the way with brute force. "Alright. Yo, everybody!" he yelled, raising a hand. "I'm New Jersey! And I got somethin' to say!"

"New Jersey, go stand in a corner!" Chris yelled. "We're indoors, so maybe this time you can actually do that-"

"I can't stand in a corner if this is a _circular room, Chris!_" New Jersey suddenly shouted, looking triumphant. "Hah! One step ahead of you. Anyways. I'm not here to talk about corners. I'm here to talk about _Team Democracy_."

New York was gesturing frantically for New Jersey to come sit down, but his spastic waving was ignored. "Y'see," New Jersey explained, waving his hand vaguely towards his team, "Team Democracy is obviously a million times better than Team Victory."

There was a long pause, as Chris evidently decided to entertain the notion of actually listening to New Jersey for a moment. "And?" he eventually asked, irritated.

New Jersey blinked, confused. "What?" he asked.

"_Why_ is Team Democracy better? I need a reason."

New Jersey then folded his arms, slightly irritated. "Because we just are!" he insisted. "I mean, we've got _Delaware!_ What more evidence do you even _want?_"

Chris nodded slowly to that. "Oookay..." he mumbled. "Well. I think I've seen enough. Challenge over! Team Victory won, and Team Democracy lost."

"_What?_" New York shouted from his seat. "We did _excellently _at the start! Why - why'd _we_ lose? Why not some of the teams who only had _one_ representative, like, oh, I don't know, _every team but ours!_"

"Sorry!" Chris decided, shrugging. "But we've gotta get going if we wanna stay on time. Alright? Everyone to the buses!"

"Wait!" Virginia cried, tugging on Chris's arm. "What about the teams that got in second, and third, and fourth? What order were they in?"

Chris shrugged, looking a little creeped out by Virginia's insistence. "I don't know. You kids should know by now that only the winners and losers matter on this show," he explained, already walking out the door of the capital building and into the cool Maryland air. "Who cares about which teams got in second and third and so on? Not me!"

And that was all there was to it, evidently.

**5:16 PM.**

Team Democracy's bus sped out of the city of Baltimore, as a hazy orange sun began to dip below the horizon. As it was the Fall Equinox, day was temporarily the same length as night.

Three teenage guys rested in their bunk room; Massachusetts was reading the recently-delivered October issue of the PC Gamer magazine. Connecticut was reading some book up above Massachusetts, while New York was simply lying on his bunk, and looking up at the ceiling, or rather, the bottom of Vermont's long-empty bunk. Quite some time went by before anybody spoke; it seemed nobody wanted to break the delicate silence that often preceded an uncertain voting ceremony. But the silence was finally broken by New York.

"So..." New York began tentatively. "Who are we voting off tonight? It's gonna be between Delaware and New Jersey."

Massachusetts's head jerked to stare at New York. "What?" he asked. "Wait, you're actually considering voting for someone _other_ than New Jersey?"

New York grew a little defensive, and merely shrugged. "I mean..." New York stammered, "if... if Delaware's gone, then... then maybe New Jersey will get his head in the game..."

"But _why_ would you ever prefer New Jersey over Delaware?" Connecticut suddenly asked. "I mean. Delaware's actually _sane_."

"_Well_," New York elaborated, "if you just let me explain, I'll tell you. It's because New Jersey's our current best hope for any physically demanding challenges. If we kick him off... then we've got _nobody_. And we'll just end up losing more people."

Connecticut just rolled his eyes and went back to his book, but New York's words seemed to have a little more effect on Massachusetts. "Well..." Massachusetts murmured, "I mean... yeah, that's true, but I would _waaay_ prefer Delaware on our team than New Jersey. I'm sorry, but... I would."

"But what happens once we come across more physical challenges? We lose. And it'd be within the realm of possibility that you, or me, or anybody could be voted off! So we _need_ New Jersey. Even if it's just to stay above the water."

Massachusetts sighed in response, and tossed his magazine aside. "Jeez, this is tough..." he mumbled. "I'll... let me think about it, York..."

At that, Connecticut leaned over the edge of his bunk to stare at Massachusetts. "You're not seriously considering keeping New Jersey, are you?"

"Well... I don't know, Connecticut! I mean, New York makes a good point... ugh, let me think about it, guys. I'll... I'll vote during the ceremony. That's what I'll do."

**7:01 PM.**

"Come on, kids!" Chris yelled, waiting for the occupants of Team Democracy to finally climb out of their bus. "I don't wanna wait all day! And besides, it's about time we finally took this team down a peg to six players."

Once everyone was seated, Chris grinned mischievously, and crossed a name off his notepad. "Very interesting result tonight!" he added, digging around in a plastic bag for whatever candy he'd bought for the voting ceremony. "I think this is gonna be an important one! Alright, let's see... when I call your name, you get a snack, and if you don't, then you go home, can't come back, _et cetera_. Are we all ready to begin?"

Nobody responded. It was generally understood by now that Chris's questions were never meant to be answer. And before anybody could, he grinned, and tossed a Gatorade to Connecticut. "Great!" Chris began. "Connecticut, zero votes. Maine! No votes for you either, sweetie. Same goes for you, too, Massachusetts."

Snacks were thrown to both Maine and Massachusetts, who sat right beside each other. A moment later, and-

"Pennsylvania! Last one with no votes!" Chris announced. "So that just leaves... New Jersey, New York, and Delaware! Uh oh! Triple trouble!"

The three exchanged nervous glances. New York was especially confused as to why he was included. Chris waggled his eyebrows a bunch, paused, and then...

"New York!" he yelled, tossing a box of Nerds to him. "Two votes, actually. But you're safe. As for Delaware and New Jersey..."

New Jersey was now having a panic attack, as he quickly realized it was literally either him or Delaware that was going home. "No!" he suddenly shouted, jumping up. "Make _me_ go home! Not her!"

"The final snack goes to..."

"Chris! Listen to me! Give it to her! _Not_ me! Damn it, are you even listening to me?"

Chris had both his eyes shut, and was holding a bag of chips high in the air somewhat tauntingly. A sly grin spread on his face. "To..."

...

...

...

"New Jersey!"

The bag of chips went flying, and landed a few feet away from New Jersey, which he didn't even try to grab for. "_No!_" New Jersey cried, as Delaware stared sadly around at her team. Right when she was about to retreat to get her belongings from the bus, New Jersey cried out, "_Wait!_ Chris, bro, tell me. _Tell me_ who voted for Delaware. Come on, bro, help me out here."_  
_

Chris was about to instantly decline, but saw the potential for drama. "Well..." he murmured, "I _guess_ I can bend the rules for this. The three people who voted for Delaware were... New York, Massachusetts, and Pennsylvania."

The three contestants Chris just called out's faces were frozen in terror. "_Chris!_" New York hissed. "What the _hell_, man? You're _never_ supposed to tell!"

Chris shrugged in response, as Delaware lifted her already packed backpack from the bus. "Sorry!" he told New York. "But I've decided to make an exception. Bye-bye, Delaware!"

New Jersey was absolutely livid as Delaware walked away towards the taxi. "This is mother - _motherfuckin' unacceptable!_" he screamed. Everyone flinched, and stepped back slightly. "New Jersey, we picked you," New York insisted. "We wanted you over Delaware. That's good, that means we like you. You can get your head in the game now-"

"Ugh, you don't _fucking understand!_" New Jersey shouted. "As _usual_. If it was between me and Delaware, I'd _want_ Delaware to stay in the game. And you _completely blew that for her_. _You_ made that decision for her. How do you think she _feels_ right now?"

That last sentence stung, and New York evidently decided to back down a bit. New Jersey stared angrily at the three who'd voted for Delaware, and then turned to the two who hadn't: Maine and Connecticut. "Maine! Connecticut!" he yelled. "You're in my alliance now."

"Aw, what?"

"Come on. I don't wanna be in an alliance."

"Well, like it or not, you are!" New Jersey insisted, staring down New York, who seemed utterly helpless, as though he hadn't expected this at all. "New York... Pennsylvania... even Massachusetts... they're all the enemy."

"But I like Massachusetts," Connecticut and Maine said simultaneously, and then recoiled at their sync in saying that. New Jersey ignored the two, and waved a hand. "Into the bus, _alliance_," he yelled. "We've got planning to do."

**11:22 PM.**

Late at night. The five buses were all parked in a parking lot in Baltimore, since the state of Delaware really wasn't so far away that they needed to start driving already.

Most people in Team Touchdown's bus were asleep at this point. But there was a confrontation between two.

"I know what's goin' on."

Texas was facing Georgia, who looked absolutely terrified. Texas frowned a little. "You and a few of the other girls are in an alliance. Don't try an' deny it, now. I heard y'all whisperin' 'bout it the other night."

"I... I really don't know what you mean," Georgia insisted, shrinking a little. "We ain't plannin' anything-"

At this Texas put his hands on his hips, and glanced around cautiously. "Listen, I'm gonna cut you a deal, here," he muttered. "You join up with me, Mississippi, an' Alabama... an' we won't vote you off. You don't even gotta tell your alliance members."

Georgia was shaking her head, stepping away, but Texas grabbed her arm a little too forcefully. "Hey," he whispered, "now, you gotta remember to honor your part of the bargain. You vote for who we say to vote for... an' I can see us gettin' along real well, Georgia. And if not... then I know who's gonna be the first to go."

There was no denying it anymore. Georgia hung her head in shame, and merely whispered, "Okay."

Texas nodded in satisfaction. "Good. Glad to have you on our side, Georgia," he told her honestly. "I bet Miss'ssippi's gonna be real happy you're on our side. I'll catch you later, Georgia."

And with that, Texas retreated to his bunk rooms, leaving Georgia to mull over her current problems, all alone in the main room of the bus.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_101_mp3**

"Gettin' Georgia on our side's real important. This means it's four 'gainst two. With any luck... we'll crush Tennessee an' Louisiana. Hell, if I'm lucky, I can nab Louisiana an' get her on our side and just label Tennessee as a traitor. I got this team on _lock_, y'all."

Texas

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, and Delaware.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO:** Curcle, Winkie4, Lily, and BlueIce RedFire!

**aspiringAnimator** - Not much to say here. I have a Youtube channel now, if that's news. Check it out via the link on my profile. I can't put a link here, because FanFiction won't let you highlight text.

To those of you just now catching up to this chapter and wondering if there was an issue in production, well, you're spot on, because there was. When I finished it, I accidentally clicked exit, and lost about four thousand words of work, which usually equates to about three to four hours of work! So I spent the last week or so fixing it. It's all there now, as you can see, just not as high quality as it originally was.


	25. Art from the Heart

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - **(**Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, and Texas**) **and **(**Louisiana and Tennessee**)**.

**Team Democracy** - **(**Connecticut, Maine, and New Jersey**)**, Massachusetts, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 24: ART FROM THE HEART**

_"No, __YOU_ go stand in a corner!" - New Jersey

**Wednesday, September 24th, 2014. Wilmington, Delaware. 8:53 AM.**

"What do you _mean_ they lost the footage?"

Chris was screaming into his cell phone as his limousine drove him and the five buses behind it straight into Delaware. He paused for a few more moments, listening.

"Wait, _how long?_ They won't even be able to get back the footage for a while? Je_sus_... okay, y'know what? Fire the intern that lost the footage of the episode. How much did they lose?"

...

"They lost _half the episode?_ Agh... crap. Okay. Fire _all_ the interns that were involved in that. All of them."

...

"Yeah, I _know_ they're unpaid, just - just fire them anyway. I don't want them touching this show again. Damn. This is gonna put us back a few weeks, isn't it?"

Chris paused for a moment, looking hopeful, only to be let down.

"Yeah. Yeah, it is... alright, thanks, Pete... yeah. I'll let them know. Ciao."

He then punched his finger on the disconnect button, and threw his phone on the floor of his limo. "Aaaaugh..." he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. He stayed like that for a few moments, and then pressed a small button on a radio.

"Morning, contestants!" he yelled, peeking out the limousine windows. "I've got some bad news. Some of the new _interns_ lost _half of last episode's footage_. Yeah. They say they left some of the flash drives back in Baltimore. Sooo... it's gonna take them a while to go and get it back. In the meantime, we gotta keep on schedule, so _yes_, we _do_ have a challenge today."_  
_

Chris rubbed his forehead. "Our next stop is Wilmington!" he reminded everyone. "So sit tight. We'll be there before you know it. I know, a _thirty minute drive_ has just been terrible today. This is Chris... out."

He let go of the button, only imagining everyone's reactions to what he just said. Maybe the contestants didn't care that they'd lost half of last episode's footage. They were nearing the half-way point, after all, and were probably growing a little cocky.

**9:02 AM.**

"You heard Chris!" New Jersey yelled, staring around angrily at the contents of Team Democracy's bus. Their numbers had finally matched that of most the other teams. "_Alliance _meeting!" New Jersey continued. "That means you two."_  
_

He then pointed at Connecticut, who was drawing in his sketchbook at the kitchen table, and Maine, who was sitting beside Massachusetts and watching the news together. She groaned. "New Jersey, we're _not in an allianc_-"

Without even waiting for her reply, New Jersey yanked Maine's arm, and gestured for Connecticut to come as well. He brought the two into an empty bunk room, and folded his arms.

"Alright, guys," New Jersey began. "It's us versus them, yo. New York, Pennsylvania, and Massachusetts. We need strategies. Any ideas?"

Connecticut rolled his eyes, and then rubbed his arms sleepily. "Jersey, it's too early for this," he reasoned. "And we're not in an alliance with you. If anything, we're in the alliance of Team _Democracy_."

"Oh, yes you _are_ in an alliance with me!" New Jersey now yelled. "_You_ two didn't vote for Delaware. That means I can trust you guys. Those _other_ three, though... they can't be trusted. They all _knew_ how I felt about Delaware."

Maine was looking a little annoyed. "Can I please go back to sit with Massachusetts?" she asked. "We were actually getting a taste of the outside world for once. I appreciate you wanting to include me on your little 'alliance', New Jersey, but... really, there's no need. Delaware's gone, and there's nothing that's going to change that-"

"So you're just gonna _let_ that jerk-off York vote off whoever he wants?" New Jersey yelled. "Delaware was _off limits_."

"Okay, but to be fair, York wanted you on the team," Connecticut reminded New Jersey. "He said that he had to pick between you and Delaware. So he picked you. You should feel flattered."

"That - that _doesn't matter!_" New Jersey cried, looking frustrated. "The point is, he voted off Delaware because he _knew_ it would get under my skin! I... I just _know_ it! And we _can't_ let that slide!"

"Well, I can," Maine decided, making a move to exit. "I'm gonna go back to watching TV with Massachusetts."

Before New Jersey could stop her, Maine had left the small bunk room. New Jersey groaned, and grabbed Connecticut by the collar. "Look... _bro_," New Jersey seethed, "you _gotta_ help me here. I can't be voted off the instant we lose another challenge. You... just... _keep me in the game_. Alright? _Please_. I wanna make... make Delaware proud."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessonal_102_mp3**

"I honestly can't help feeling _sorry_ for New Jersey. I mean, it's this guy who, for the past two months, has fantasized about some random girl from our team liking him, and now she's gone, and... he's kind of... psychotic now? And he's _completely_ ignored the fact that I voted for him a few nights ago. But... I'll help him. I don't want to see him keep hurting over Delaware."

Connecticut

**9:14 AM.**

"Come _on_, Georgia. _Talk_ to me."

Tennessee was gently tugging on Georgia's arm, as their bus grew ever-closer to Wilmington. Georgia was trying to go back into her bunk room so she could be alone, and was looking increasingly nervous at Tennessee's presence.

"We're alliance partners, remember?" Tennessee reminded Georgia. "Me, you, and Louisiana. So... don't worry. You can tell us anything."

At that, Georgia mumbled something incoherent under her breath. Tennessee leaned in, confused. "What?"

"I'm... not actually... in your alliance anymore," Georgia admitted, nervously fidgeting on the spot. Tennessee blinked, and said, "Wait, what? Why not?"

A brief silence went by. "Because, um..." Georgia began, "...Texas told me to, um... join his alliance... so that I'd be safe from being voted off."

Tennessee took a few involuntary steps back, now downright frightened. "You didn't," Tennessee stated slowly, as though she were trying to convince herself more than Georgia. "_Please_ tell me you didn't join sides with the guys. Georgia! Haven't you learned anything from their lack in leadership skills?"

Georgia seemed on the brink of tears now. "I'm _sorry!_" she insisted. "I just... Mississippi isn't that bad, and... and they're not bad people... Tennessee, you should really give them a chance. They don't want alliances to form."

It was now Tennessee's turn to look just plain hurt. She gave a contemptuous stare at Georgia for a few moments, and then stormed off into her own bunk room.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_103_mp3**

"I cannot _believe_ Georgia took the word of some - of some _guy_ and decided to side with them! And for what? For _safety_? First chance they get, they're voting her off, once me and Louisiana are nicely out of the way. I can tell Georgia just wants to be safe, but we _need_ her! Ugh. I hate Texas."

Tennessee

**9:28 AM.**

"Welcome to the tiny state of Delaware!" Chris greeted, as the doors of the five buses opened to release their twenty-seven total occupants, who all stood blinking in the surprisingly bright, early Autumn sun. Before them, a small city rose. Wilmington. Past that, the murky Atlantic Ocean awaited. The morning sun shone brightly over the ocean, casting rays of the warming sun over the landscape.

The five buses were all parked in front of a huge, modular looking brick building. A huge white banner hung above the double doors of the building, reading, "THE DELAWARE ART MUSEUM". Interns were milling about, setting up camera equipment and microphones all over the area. Chris looked around, squinting slightly, and yelled, "We're doing an art-themed challenge! Though I guess most of our viewers at home have figured that out from the episode title. Come on, kids! Follow me inside!"

Cautiously, the twenty-seven contestants all followed Chris into the museum. "Mind the absolutely priceless sculptures, by the way!" Chris reminded them all. "Wouldn't want to break one or something."

Before long, everyone was led into a huge open lobby. Skylights let in hazy sunlight from above. All over the floor, boxes of art supplies and tarps to protect the tile were laid out everywhere.

"Your challenge is simple!" Chris announced, striding back and forth like a military sergeant. "Make a sculpture. Make a painting. Do _something_ artistic. I and two other judges will judge each piece! Me and Chef are the first two judges, whereas the third is... well... just say hello again, Blaineley!"

Blaineley appeared, looking not very happy that she was there. She'd already noticed that the camera crew wasn't done setting up, as she had a pretty noticeable sneer on her face. "Good _morning_, contestants," she spat, fixing her hair slightly and checking her phone. "It's so _very_ good to see you all again."

Indiana crossed her arms, peering at Blaineley with a skeptical expression. "Looks like someone has finally begun to understand the art of sarcasm," she quipped. Blaineley didn't seem especially pleased to see Indiana. "And it looks like _someone_ has somehow managed to stay on the show!" Blaineley squealed with fake enthusiasm. "What a surprise that has been!"

"Whoa, cool it!" Chris insisted, pushing the two apart as a burly Chef approached. "No cat fights until the cameras are rolling! Heheh. But seriously. We've got until _noon_ to do this challenge! Yes, you have a bit more time today, so no grumbling. I'll order lunch once everyone's done."

To that last sentence, everyone cheered, to which Chris put his hands up defensively, and cried, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! I mean I'm buying lunch for the _interns_ and _camera crew_ who work on the show. Though, to be fair, not even _they_ have done such a great job lately. What with the rampant losses of _hours worth_ of film."

A few of the interns started shuffling away from Chris, fearing an outburst. But Chris's expression remained as genial as ever. "Everyone go ahead and get started!" he declared. "_Impress_ me!"

**9:33 AM.**

As members from all five teams started work, the only team with three remaining contestants were at a slight loss on what to do.

"Y'know, you guys could always me for advice..." Illinois reminded the two girls as he sat on the tiled floor looking bored. "I'm... artistic. Probably."

"No, _thanks_, we're good," Indiana decided, holding up two cans of paint to compare the colors. "What do you think, Virginia? What kind of sculpture should we do?"

Virginia shrugged in response. "We could do a mannequin of some kind..." she suggested. "If we make a big mold and painted it 'artistically', that might impress Chris..."

"Yeah, but... that's not very artistic, I want our piece to _mean_ something to Chris... that's what art's all about."

Illinois rolled his eyes, and idly peered at a stray paintbrush on the floor. "Well, you two seem to have this challenge under control," he decided. "I'm gonna go walk around and see what's up with the other teams."

Virginia glanced at him with an accusing stare, but Indiana just muttered, "Fine. Go on. Abandon your teammates."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_104_mp3**

"Maaan. Hah. I bet everyone else is jealous of me. One guy. The _only_ guy on my team. Like I said. _Fantastic_ odds. And don't worry, Indiana and Virginia'll come around. I bet Indiana was just _lying_ about being lez. Probably."

Illinois

**10:09 AM.**

"Yo, Washington, if I lean any farther, I'll fall!" Hawaii advised his team. Upon Oregon's direction, they had started working on what was going to be an incredibly huge, yet visually impressive carved wooden statue of Chris McLean himself. Hawaii was standing on a ladder, and nervously chipping away wooden fragments away from Chris's soon-to-be nose. "Don't worry, you're not falling," Washington assured Hawaii, keeping a steady grip on the ladder. "Oregon, how do you think the progress is coming along?"

Oregon looked up at the sound of his name. "What?" he asked. "Oh. Um... it looks good so far. We've mainly just been working on the head, though... maybe someone needs to get started on shaping his body."

"Leave it to me," New Mexico insisted, grabbing a saw and approaching Chris's large torso. "I'll get it done in _no_ time."

"I have to say, Oregon, you're really shaping up to be pretty good at all this creative stuff," Washington complimented, to which Oregon looked away. "I mean it. I bet Chris will _love_ this statue."

"Yeah..." Oregon mumbled, looking bashful. "I guess..."

Oregon then started nervously shuffling away, and over to go take count of the supplies again, leaving Washington in one of his more rare moments of confusion.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_105_mp3**

"I'm... really having a hard time being around Washington. I don't really know why, he's just... it's not that he's not my friend anymore, it's not that, it's just... I don't know. I feel really confused about it and I'm not sure who to talk to."

Oregon

**10:37 AM.**

"Higher."

...

"_Higher_."

...

"No, not that high. That looks stupid."

Nebraska muttered something under his breath as he painstakingly stretched to fit the canvas, lifting a pink ribbon which would be used to border the picture. Inside the frame, North Dakota had drawn a simplistic drawing. She called it "abstract". Her teammates, excluding South Dakota, called it garbage. It was a mystery as to what Chris would call it when it came time for judging.

"I... agh, really, I'm trying my best, Glorious-" Nebraska began, right before he was smacked with North Dakota's long wooden cane. "Did I _ask_ you to speak?" she snapped. "Oh, wait. No, I didn't. So shut up. This piece will get us through the challenge. It's 'artsy', whatever that means."

It really wasn't a very impressive art piece. Quite literally, it was just a bunch of lines overlapping each other, with a few of the interiors colored in with what appeared to be crayon on canvas. Bordering the edges, Nebraska was currently hanging up a long strand of pink ribbon.

"Sis... I really don't know," South Dakota murmured, looking worried. "I mean, I think it's great and all that you've taken up art, but are you so sure that this is going to be enough to make Chris _not_ pick ours as the loser-"

"Don't worry," North Dakota reassured. "There are three judges. That pink ribbon will probably make Blaineley go wild. Or something. Bam, ten out of ten from her, and we're safe from being the team that's voted off."

"Yeah, but are you _sure_ she'll-"

"_One and a half hours remaining!_" Chris reminded everyone with his favorite bullhorn. "_Carry_ _on!_"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_106_mp3**

"I gotta be quick here. And I know, I know. I... I should really be doing more to oppose North Dakota. Or, something, at least. But... she's just so intimidating. And nobody else will even consider rebellion. I think Oklahoma is legitimately convinced that North Dakota is our true leader or something. Colorado's... Colorado. He's a nice guy, but it sounds to me that he just wants to get to the merge. And Kansas is just as cowardly as me! So... I dunno. I kind of regret not doing more, is all. It's hard being on this team. It's hard and nobody understands."

Nebraska

**11:25 AM.**

Things were beginning to come to a close among all teams. Team Democracy had finally finished their rather hastily-completed banner that simply said the words "CHRIS" and "YES" over and over again, and so most of the members from that team were all sitting down, except for New Jersey, who had evidently taken it upon himself to stand over everyone while glaring at New York, Massachusetts, and Pennsylvania, all of whom seemed to be growing increasingly uncomfortable.

Team America was still working hard on their project, which ended up being a mannequin sculpted by Virginia, yet painted by Indiana, who was still working on the final touches. Illinois was sitting on the floor, looking somewhat bored as he absent-mindedly sketched on the tarp that was protecting the floor from any paint. In Team Touchdown, however, things were a little more than "tense".

The team had elected to work on a huge model football stadium, but they'd all spent over an hour arguing over which team should be represented. Louisiana had stubbornly stuck to the New Orleans Saints, while Alabama wasn't budging from the University of Alabama's football team. So, Mississippi had made a compromise, in which the stadium would have no logo and the Saints would be playing against the Elephants, even though one team was NFL and the other was SEC. But by the time the bickering had ceased, there was less than an hour to go in the project.

"I need more cardboard, y'all!" Texas yelled. "Hey! Tennessee, can you pass me some?"

Tennessee eyed Texas suspiciously, and scooted away from him. He groaned, and stretched to grab it. "Yeah, thanks," he muttered, a little more than peeved. "Guys, c'mon... there's no need for all this... Mississippi, what's the word you called it?"

"I called it sectionalism."

"Yeah. Yeah, sectionalism. Tennessee, Louisiana, c'mon... we're all a _team_, like it or not."

The two girls simply ignored Texas, and continued making tiny model people to fit in the stands.

"Bama," Texas suddenly whispered to Alabama, who was painting the field green. "Yo, Al... c'mon, help me out here. I'm tryin' to _unify_ our team. It ain't right havin' everyone opposed to one another."

Alabama shrugged. "Man, they can do what they want," he mumbled, swiping his green-tipped paintbrush back and forth over the cardboard field. "Personally, Tex, they wronged us by opposin' us. We need to vote 'em off first chance we get."

Texas didn't seem too amicable with that idea, but didn't argue the topic further.

**11:56 AM.**

"Okay! Let's see how you guys did!" Chris announced in mid-bite of a subway sandwich. It was high noon now; there was no going back. All the teams _had_ finished, however. With a small flourish, Chris, Chef, and Blaineley all approached Team Dakota's art piece altogether.

Indeed, it was quite literally a canvas with a bunch of overlapping lines. A few of the triangles that the lines created were colored in. With crayons. Bordering the piece was a long strand of pink ribbon. Chef was already grimacing at the monstrosity as he approached.

"Uhhh... this is it?" Chris asked. "This looks like something a sixth-grader might do in their spare time.

"It represents the boundary between reality and what you expect," North Dakota convincingly explained. "The ribbon represents the curtain, or the _veil_ between such realities."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_107_mp3**

"Of _course_ that's not what it means. I literally just made a bunch of lines and colored them in while I listened to music from my iPod Touch, the one I got from the mall challenge. And then I had Nebraska put up some ribbon. Bam. Now it means something. _Any_ artist knows you can bullcrap your way through any piece, as long as it '_means something_'."

North Dakota

**12:01 PM.**

Chris frowned a little. "Well, there _does_ seem to be some significance behind this piece," he reasoned. "So... I give it a six."

Chef snorted. "It's just some _lines_," he grunted. "Two."

It was now evidently Blaineley's turn to judge. "Well..." she mumbled. "I _do_ like the color choice for the ribbon. And it looks nice. So I give it an eight."

North Dakota smirked, as every other contestant on the show was shocked at Blaineley's response. "Well! That puts Team Dakota at... sixteen?" Chris announced. "Let's see how the next teams do. Team Democracy! Show us what you got."

Pennsylvania and Maine both grabbed one end of the banner they'd made, and unrolled it, letting it come to its true length, and spelling out the following.

CHRIS YES CHRIS YES CHRIS YES CHRIS YES

The three judges simply stood there. "This is it?" Chris asked, bemused. "Just... Chris and Yes over and over again? Who's idea was this?"

Nobody seemed willing to take credit for the current situation. Chris sighed, and said, "Well, five, just because you picked a good name to-"

"Two!" Chef barked, scratching his chin. "It ain't pretty and it don't make no sense."

"Yeah..." Blaineley said, "I'm gonna have to give this a three."

Chris did some basic addition in his head, and finally declared, "Uh oh! That puts Team Democracy in last with just... ten points. Will they stay in last? Find out... after the break!"

A few contestants began rolling eyes. Every now and then, Chris decided a "break" was needed, in which he would stand there staring at the camera for a few seconds. After an intern gave him a thumbs up, Chris yelled, "And we're back moments after judging Team Democracy, which is currently in last place with just ten points! Let's see... how Team Touchdown does!"

Team Touchdown's piece was a large model of a football stadium. Miniature football players, made out of tiny, colored balls of clay, were positioned with frightening accuracy and precision. In the stands, a few similar miniature fans rested.

"Uhhh, not a big fan of American football!" Chris admitted. "So I give this a-"

"I give it a nine!" Chef instantly decided. "Only 'cause y'all could'a made it look like the Saints are winnin' there."

Chris inched away from Chef, slightly irritated, and continued, "Yeah, thanks, Chef. I give it a six because it all looks accurate to me. Or about as accurate as you can get to a hockey fan like me. Go Toronto Maple Leafs!"

Blaineley sighed. "This isn't artistic!" she cried. "Who likes football? Don't answer that. The real answer is nobody. Nobody likes football."

Chef seemed ready to "forcibly remove" Blaineley from the facility, but Chris stepped in just in time. "Alright! That puts Team Touchdown in the lead with nineteen points total!" Chris announced to the cameras. "We've still got two more teams to check out! Will one of them sink below Team Democracy's score? Who knows! But for now... let's see Team America's piece."

With that, Chris led the other two judges and the cameras over to where Team America's sculpture rested. It was a mannequin... but its head seemed chopped off. Paint was intricately lathered on the mannequin, in colors like purple, blue, and green, yet a shockingly stark red was surrounding the severed neck area. This bright red color dripped down, eventually mingling with the other colors and creating a slightly red mixture around the torso. Indiana had been the one assigned the painting job. Illinois stood proudly beside the mannequin, as though he had completed it himself.

"Hmmm..." Chris muttered, stroking his chin and narrowing his eyes at the sculpture. "It's... it's artistic, I'll give you that. I give it a seven."

"Three!" Chef snapped. "It ain't right to depict a person with no head like that. It just ain't right. You don't gotta make it look like there's blood, is all I'm sayin'."

It was Blaineley's turn now. She squinted deceitfully at Indiana. "I wish I could give this sculpture a _zero_," Blaineley muttered, "but I suppose a _one_ will have to do."

"_What?_" Virginia cried. "Why - this doesn't deserve a one!"

Indiana nudged Virginia softly, and muttered, "She's just mad she got kicked off the show."

"Yeah, but she didn't give any of the _other_ teams scores that low!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_108_mp3**

"I don't really know why, but Blaineley _still_ hates me. Well, she's a _bitch_. Alright? Yeah, I said it. She's just _whining_ about how she got kicked off the show she hijacked. But nooo, Chris just _had_ to have her come back and judge every now and then. Probably out of sympathy for that woman."

Indiana

**12:09 PM.**

"Well..." Chris began, "I guess that makes Team America's total... carry the one..."

...

"Eleven! _Just barely_ above Team Democracy's!"

The six members of Team Democracy all groaned at their collective misfortune. Chris smiled maliciously. "But we still have one more team to judge!" he announced. "And I've been saving this one for last. Here's... Team _Victory's_ sculpture!"

At the thumbs-up from Washington, California pulled off a large white blanket from the tall wooden carving of none other than _Chris McLean_, standing in all his glory. Even his ChrisMcLeanSmile™ was reproduced in stunning accuracy. There was a long, long moment of silence as everyone stared in awe at the creation.

"_Ten out of ten!_" Chris screamed, running up to hug his own statue. "I _love_ it!"

Chef rolled his eyes, mumbled something foul under his breath, and yelled, "Eight outta ten! Only 'cause it's fair."

At the sound of that, Blaineley let out a long, long groan. "Oh my _god_," she whined. "It's so _obviously_ an attempt to cater to Chris's narcissistic whims. But... obviously, this carving took a lot of time, so... five out of ten."

Washington was about to protest on Oregon's behalf, but was quickly shushed by New Mexico. "Let it go, bro," New Mexico assured him. "We did better than all the other teams. If you argue she might take down the score even more."

Washington sighed, as Chris did some more basic addition in his head. "That makes Team Victory's final score to be twenty-three, placing them in top place again! Wow. Nice job, Team Victory! Two wins in a _row_."

Oregon was blushing furiously, as just about everybody in his team hugged him. "Yaaay! We _won!_" California squealed, clapping her hands.

"Nice going, Oregon!" Washington cheered. But before proper celebrations could begin, Chris started snapping his fingers over the din. "Hey!" he yelled. "Yes, yes, _good job_, Oregon, but we're on a tight schedule here. _Because_ Team Democracy lost again, they get to go to the voting ceremony! What fun. Does that sound like fun? That sounds a lot like fun to me. And trust me. I am _all_ about fun."

**1:21 PM.**

"We _have_ to vote off New Jersey."

Maine, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and even Pennsylvania were all rounding on New York in the middle of the bus, who remained firm on the issue. New Jersey was somewhere in his bunkroom, probably "strategizing" off by himself. "No," New York declined. "We _need_ someone who's physically capable for some of these challenges," New York advised. "We can't vote him off."

"But we have to vote _someone _off," Maine insisted. "And I'd prefer it to be Jersey. He's a... _nice_ guy, maybe, but he's gone mental! I'm sorry, New York, but you know it! We should've just voted him off so we'd still at least have Delaware. And maybe with her artistic ability, we wouldn't have lost this challenge!"

"Guys, I know, it's bad, but we _need_ him!" New York cried. "What are we gonna do when we have a physically challenging assessment? You all _know_ we'll fail!"

Massachusetts sighed, and looked at New York seriously. "Like it or not, New Jersey is going down tonight," Massachusetts informed him. "You may not like that, but you won't be able to change our opinions. If you're with us as a _team_, York, then you'll help us."

New York groaned, and rubbed his forehead wearily. "Don't say I didn't warn you guys when we lose a physical challenge later," he claimed. "Because we'll need him for those."

"Then... I dunno. Work out!" Connecticut suggested. "Get buff! _You_ could be our physical guru!"

"Okay. Wow. No. Please don't suggest that ever again, Connecticut."

"Aw."

**7:00 PM.**

Six teenagers were all sitting in a circle around Chris, who held a sheet of paper in his hands and was looking annoyed. "Really?" he yelled. "I _just_ saw you guys in voting. Can't you kids stop losing challenges for a bit?"

"We'll try," Maine dully notified. Chris didn't seem convinced, yet dangled a bag of candy over everyone. "Today, I'm just gonna shower you kids with candy every time I say a name," he decided. "That sounds a lot easier. Plus, it gives me an excuse to hit children!"

...

"Okay. Forget I said that last part. Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, and Pennsylvania! No votes! Yaaay, candy!"

Chris then sprinkled a huge volume of candy over the kids. As a Twix bar smacked Connecticut in the eye, Pennsylvania squealed, "Is this really necessary?!"

"Yes! Yes it is," Chris responded with a satisfied smile on his face. "That just leaves New York and New Jersey. Ooooh, I wonder who's going home?"

Nobody responded to that. It was pretty obvious to everybody, even New Jersey, who was just glaring around at everyone. Chris pulled out a Hershey's Kisses candy from the bag, and started waving it in the air. "New York? Or New Jersey?" he asked. "Who's going home? Either way, you won't have a very long drive home!"

"Just... shut up and say New York," New York muttered, rubbing his forehead at the stupidity of all this. Chris shrugged, and said, "New York! One vote. Good job."

The candy smacked New York in the forehead, as New Jersey stood. "Just so you all know," he seethed, "you _will_ all pay for this. Mark my words. _Nobody_ from Team Democracy is getting into the finalists."

"Good one, New Jersey," Chris said, somewhat amused. "Y'know what? Go stand in a corner, New Jersey. You-"

"No, _YOU_ go stand in a corner!" New Jersey screamed, kicking a stray soda can at Chris. "You - _argh!_ It wasn't _funny_ when you started telling me to go stand in corners. It _continued _to not be funny, yo. And it _still_ ain't funny! This 'running gag' of tellin' me to _go stand in corners_ is _retarded_. So _shut_ the _fuck_ up!"

"Whoa!" Chris yelped, faking surprise. "I am peeing my pants right now! Go on, Jersey. Go get your things. They're in the bus."

New Jersey looked ready to spout off more nonsense, but Chef's looming silhouette in the distance made him reconsider. Instead, New Jersey just gave Chris the finger, and stomped off to the bus to collect his things.

And with that, New Jersey was voted off The Fifty State Roadtrip. Twenty-six contestants remained.

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, and New Jersey.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO:** Anna Hartley, Guest, and Curcle!

**aspiringAnimator** - *frantically clicks save every two seconds as I'm writing*

Gah. I've literally spent the last five hours writing this entire chapter. It might seem a little lackluster, I know. I'm doing double duty trying to make up that chapter that I accidentally deleted half of, which I still have not completely finished rewriting. Haha! Remember when that happened less than a week ago? The ramifications are still affecting me today! Yay!

I'm also doing the Youtubes in my spare time, so check that out via the link in my profile if you've got time. Yes, this fanfiction has priority over my Youtube account, don't worry. We are also getting VERY near some plot points that I'm a little excited to start writing about. So... yeah.

It's a little sad to see New Jersey go. I liked him a lot as I was writing him; he sort of mentally lost it at the end, sure, but the running gag about how Chris tells him to go stand in a corner when they are, in fact, usually outside just sort of grew on me after I used it twice. But anyways. Review! Follow! Favorite! Do _all_ of those things, and perhaps the great god of aspiringAnimator will be _pleased_. Perhaps he will think you are worth sparing. Perhaps not.


	26. 2RUDE4U

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - **(**Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, and Texas**) **and **(**Louisiana and Tennessee**)**.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 25: 2RUDE4U**

_"It's just... I've been thinking about some things." - Oregon_

**Sunday, September 28th, 2014. Atlantic City, New Jersey. 10:05 AM.**

A dull breeze came from the Atlantic, shifting the golden-orange leaves of the many trees that dotted the landscape. Flat gray clouds coated the sky, threatening rain. And five charter buses slowly made their way up from Delaware. Fall was in full swing.

As the buses slowly rode along the coast, contestants prepared for the challenge that was sure to come this weekend. And for Texas, this meant doing whatever it took to unite the team.

"I understand y'all's concerns," he stated, facing Louisiana and Tennessee, who were sitting on the couch. Alabama stood beside him. "But I'm doin' everything I can to help y'all understand why it ain't such a good idea to be... to be formin' all these alliances."

"It ain't a _choice!_" Tennessee cried. "You, Bama, and Miss'ssippi already formed one!"

"No, we didn't! We're all just friends, is all-"

"No, y'all did. And we figured if it kept goin' as it is, we'll be voted off by y'all first. And then - and _then_ y'all went and recruited Georgia! So, yes, we _do_ have to make an alliance just to protect ourselves from y'all."

Texas sighed, and rubbed his forehead. "This is gettin' nowhere..." he muttered. Alabama nudged Texas, and mumbled, "C'mon, Tex... it's better not to have 'em on our side, anyway. Let 'em make their alliance. They'll just get voted off anyway."

That didn't seem to change Texas's mind. Tennessee stood, and said quietly, "Come on, Louisiana. You can't trust them."

Louisiana didn't budge. As Alabama trudged back to his bunkroom, Texas knelt down to gaze at Louisiana face-to-face, who was trying to avoid his stare.

"Louisiana. You can rejoin the team again. It don't have to be like this. We're all a _team,_ and that's how it's meant to be."

She didn't respond, instead simply gazing solemnly at the floor, evidently in thought. Tennessee stood at the doorway, looking apprehensive, and hastily said, "Louisiana, come _on_. You _know_ he'll just vote you off the first chance he gets."

Texas glared at Tennessee. A few seconds later, and Louisiana smiled sadly, and said, "Sorry... but... no, thanks, Texas."

With that, Tennessee stood from the couch, and followed Tennessee into her bunkroom, probably to discuss their next move. Texas groaned, put a hand to his forehead, and plopped down on the couch.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_109_mp3**

"We ain't, uh... I mean, we're _not_ doing so good. Er - so _well_. Whatever. Grammar don't matter. What _matters_ is the fact that Tennessee's tryin' to drag Louisiana down with her into the abyss of thinkin' me an' Bama are leadin' an alliance bent on destroyin' them. Which is _not true!_ Team Touchdown's all about everyone bein' friends! That's what it's always been! How come people from Team Victory an' Team Democracy get along so well? And don't tell me it's 'cause they're all liberals."

Texas

**10:20 AM.**

"We're _halfway there!_"

As the buses grew ever closer to Atlantic City, Team Democracy was throwing a small party for finally making it to the twenty-fifth episode, which marked the halfway point of the entire season. Massachusetts had even baked a cake for the other four members of the shrinking team. As everyone chowed down on chocolate cake, New York congratulated, "Nice going, guys! We made it to the halfway point."

Pennsylvania nodded in between bites, and expressed, "Yeah! And exactly five out of our ten people we started out with have made it this far, so maybe that's a good sign?"

"God, I hope so..." Maine muttered, wiping her mouth with a napkin. "I do feel kind of bad about New Jersey. He was funny sometimes, in that sort of desperate way, y'know?"

"Yeah..." Connecticut mumbled, looking down at the floor. "He was. To New Jersey, then."

Everyone saluted, and made a toast to New Jersey with their plastic cups of chocolate milk. "To New Jersey!"

They drank, right as the radio at the front of the bus crackled, "_Hey, hey, everybody! Chris here. We're about ten minutes away from Atlantic City, where today's challenge is gonna take place! So get ready, kids. This is Chris: out!_"

**10:32 AM.**

Twenty-six contestants stepped out of the buses and under the heavy, flat clouds of New Jersey. The roiling and tumbling gray Atlantic Ocean was not far, bringing the scent of sea over everyone. Chris gestured grandly towards the coast, and cried, "Welcome to the Jersey Shore!"

A few of the contestants didn't seem too impressed. "It's really dirty..." Oregon mumbled, kicking at a stray can of Pepsi on the ground. Chris crossed his arms, and yelled, "Well, get used to it, 'cause this is where today's challenge is being held. And, for today's challenge, we have our two special judges again! Say hi again, Blaineley."

In addition to Chef, Blaineley walked up, still looking a little miffed. "'Good' morning, kids," she greeted, after checking her phone. "I'm still in-between jobs, so it looks like I'm stuck with you all again."

Blaineley had failed to notice that the cameras were currently rolling. Indiana groaned, and pretended to slam her head against the side of Team America's bus. "Wow, it's like we have Blaineley as a host again since she's apparently here every challenge now!" she remarked, overflowing with fake enthusiasm. "What joy."

A few teenagers from some of the other teams began snickering, right up until Blaineley flashed them all a deadly smile. "Yes!" Blaineley cried, and then screamed with laughter. "The utter and simple _joy_ I am receiving by being here with a bunch of sniveling sixteen-year-olds is beyond comprehension! It is just _so_ great that I forgot to feel happiness from it."

Chris narrowed his eyes at Blaineley. "Behave, Blaineley," he muttered sternly. "You'll be with us for a challenge next weekend, too, and then we're not due to see you until the next Aftermath."

"Right, right, the Aftermath," Blaineley repeated dully. "The only show I actually host now. I used to host two shows. I wonder why I'm not hosting the second anymore? Oh, wait, I think someone stole it from me-"

"Blaineley, _most_ normal people don't even host _one_ show!" Chris cried, exasperated. "And Total Drama is _my_ show! _You_ took it away from me! And you only got kicked off because the fans hated you-"

She simply laughed loudly as a response to Chris, cutting him off. Chris looked ready to attack, but Chef held out a hand to stop him. "It ain't worth it, Chris," he warned. "It ain't worth it."

Once Chris was finally convinced that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to murder one of the judges on international television, he dusted himself off, and addressed the cameras again. "Today's challenge is a very simple one!" he announced, smiling his famous ChrisMcLeanSmile™. "It's something that will be challenging for _some_ of you, and _very_ easy for others. Now, answer me this, everybody. Do you like everyone on your team?"

The responses were quite varied. Everybody in teams Victory and Democracy were nodding their heads eagerly, but the same couldn't be said for the other three teams; literally nobody from Team Dakota reacted except for South Dakota.

"I see..." Chris commented, scribbling something down on his notepad. "Okay! This challenge will _definitely_ be interesting. Everyone will be partnered up, and assigned the task of being _incredibly_ rude to your partner. In front of judges. The more mean you are, the more points you get. However, I assume this will be pretty hard for some of you, so I've made the pairings even worse!"

This news wasn't taken very well by everyone. Chris looked down at a pre-prepared sheet, and called out, "Because Team Victory won two challenges in a row last week, _they_ get to go first! The pairings are: Hawaii and California, Arizona and New Mexico, and Washington and Oregon!"

No doubt, those "pairings" had been selected by specifically Chris; or worse, the fans, whose online presence seemed to be seeping into the show by the minute.

"California and Hawaii first!" Chris declared, checking his watch as the five buses simply rested on the boardwalk of Atlantic City. "I wanna do a test run. Let's hear it, you two."

The two eyed each other cautiously. "Um..." Hawaii began, facing her. "Yo, you're... you're really... not nice. Not a good person. Very not good. Bad, even."

California blinked, and after Hawaii didn't follow up on that, she stated, "Is that it? Oh, well, you're the dumbest, most immature, and ugliest person on our team. Everyone knows it. You smell a lot, too, even though New Mexico has offered several brands of deodorant he likes."

Everyone stared. California smiled a tiny bit, and said, "Was that good? Um... Chris?"

Chris's eyes swiveled between the two. "Wow," was all he said. "That was, um... impressive. Not for Hawaii, though, but I'm just gonna give you two a seven."

"I give 'em a five," Chef decided, stroking his huge chin. "'Cause Hawaii could'a done more."

"Yeah, well, I give them an eight," Blaineley said, looking the two over. "Very nice work. And I adore this team."

"That makes... twenty-two!" Chris shouted after a brief moment of mental math. "Er, sorry... twenty. We'll average all the scores together for the entire team once the everyone in the team has gone. Next! Let's have Oregon and Washington."

The two faced each other apprehensively. Oregon was tugging nervously at his own somewhat tight, purple t-shirt, while Washington just adjusted his glasses, anticipating the worse. But it never came.

"Ummm..." Oregon began, eyes glancing over at the three judges not far away every few seconds. "You're... you're a _bad_ person. You are not good. You... you have terrible fashion sense? And you need a haircut."

Washington grinned, amused, and glanced up at his own shaggy brown hair. "Well..." he responded, "Oregon, you are... weird. You make good grilled cheeses. Wait, hold on, that wasn't - okay - that wasn't an insult - your cooking is _bad_. I wouldn't have it for another day. So gross."

Chris rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure some of the fans would call all that adorable, _not_ insulting," he remarked. "I give you two a three."

"I give 'em a two!" Chef barked.

"Five. It was cute."

More mental math, and then, "That puts Oregon and Washington at ten!" Chris announced to everyone. "Exactly half of what California and Hawaii got. Come on, final pairing from Team Victory, so we can get this moving along."

...

Arizona and New Mexico were completely incapable of insulting each other. The worst thing Arizona said about her boyfriend was "smelly feet". Regardless, they ended up with a thirteen, which was a smidgen better than Washington and Oregon's score. In the end, Team Victory ended up with just a fourteen in total.

"Okay!" Chris shouted, once Team Victory was thoroughly completed. "Now that Team Victory is out of the way, I wanna get to some funny stuff. Bring out Team Dakota!"

The six members of Team Dakota stepped forward with North Dakota at the lead, replacing Team Victory. Chris clapped his hands together, and yelled, "The pairings are as follows! Oklahoma and Kansas, South Dakota and Colorado, and North Dakota and Nebraska! What fun. Let's start with... _North Dakota_, shall we?"

Of course, Chris's first pick was intentional, but North Dakota had no problems with smirking and turning to face Nebraska, who was looking positively terrified.

...

"Nebraska, you are the unworthiest sack of potatoes to fall into the hands of my team. Time and time again you've failed what you were assigned. You're weird, and fail to recognize even the most basic of cognitive functions, such as how to tell when trying to assist a rebellion is a futile endeavor. You're cowardly, weak, spineless, and are unable to tell the difference between even the most basic of trigonometric ratios, which are remarkably simple. Everything you say is a stuttered mess and you piss yourself every time you mess up at anything, which is often. Have you ever wondered what that hollow, desolate sound is, emanating through every crevice of your psyche? It's your incredibly obvious lack of a soul. You're welcome."

...

There was no response from Nebraska, who was frozen in place and shaking terribly. North Dakota smirked again, and faced Chris, who looked just as stunned as Nebraska.

"Ten out of ten."

"Yeh," Chef agreed, "ten."

Blaineley started clapping. "Happy to award ten points to _that_," she explained.

There was a brief silence, and then Chris shouted, "_Okay!_ Wow. Let's, um... wow, I think we're done here, because nothing can top that. But, we _have_ to film the whole episode, so... South Dakota and Colorado... you're up."

Needless to say, Colorado dished out a hefty dose of assholery to South Dakota, who was unable to come up with anything in response. The two were awarded a moderate twenty-one in total. When Kansas and Oklahoma came up, they did slightly worse; Kansas wasn't very able to come up with anything aside from a ton of stuttering, while Oklahoma was being a little too nice with her insults. They received a fifteen in total, and on average, the entire team got a twenty-two, putting them in first place.

"Good stuff..." Chris muttered, checking his watch and looking over his clipboard as Oklahoma and Kansas were finally finished being moderately rude to each other. "Okay. Now we need Team Democracy to get their butt in gear. Come on up, you five."

Connecticut, New York, Massachusetts, Maine, and Pennsylvania all approached, looking slightly apprehensive. Chris narrowed his eyes, and asked, "Okay, five isn't an even number, so we'll need one person to sit out. Who wants to volunteer-"

Connecticut raised a hand, and drawled, "Well, if nobody else wants to do it, then I guess I can. Good luck, you guys."

He received a few suspicious glances, but there seemed to be no objections. Chris raised an eyebrow, and referred to his notepad. "That means the pairings for Team Democracy _are_..." he began, "New York and Pennsylvania, and Massachusetts and Maine! Oh my. Maine and Massachusetts, how about you two come up first?"

The two slowly turned to face each other, looking quite nervous in the other's presence. Chris grinned bemusedly, and after not much happened for a few seconds, he encouraged, "Go on. You're being filmed. Right now."

"Oh. Um..." Maine began, adjusting her glasses slightly and avoiding looking at Massachusetts directly. "Well... Massachusetts... you're so gross. And... and every time I said I liked your food, I was... lying. And the fact that you also like guys creeps me out."

Massachusetts's eyes widened a little, appearing somewhat shocked. "Oh yeah?" he responded, as Maine tried to communicate without saying anything that she hadn't meant all that. "Yeah, well, you're - you're sometimes pretty boring! And I think you cheat when we play Risk. There's no way you could've won six battles in a row against me without lying about the dice results. And... and you..."

Massachusetts paused. Maine was actually looking legitimately hurt. "Hey... I didn't _really_ mean, um... some of that stuff?"

"You didn't?" Chris asked. "Well! I give you two a five. Only because it was moderately entertaining."

"Four!" Chef barked. Blaineley looked up from checking her phone, and asked, "Oh. Am I supposed to judge or something? Then seven. I don't know."

"...okay," Chris remarked, as Blaineley went straight back to perusing her Twitter account. "That puts Massachusetts's and Maine's score at... sixteen! Let's bring on New York and Pennsylvania to see how they do."

Maine stormed off, leaving Massachusetts incredibly confused as New York and Pennsylvania took her place. "You two ready?" Chris asked, looking up to the two teens. "Go!"

New York cleared his throat, and began before Pennsylvania could say anything. "Pennsylvania," he began, "I'm sorry to have to reveal this to you, but I don't like you as much as you think I do. You're a great person and all, and I love having you on my team, but... I just don't think I can make this work out anymore. I know I may have led you one a few weeks ago, and that's-"

"Hey!" Chris interrupted. "You're not being rude! I think you're being honest!"

"Shut up, Chris!" New York responded. "Anyway. I'm sorry to have to tell you this way. But I'm in this game to win, not to... to form relationships. And even then, it wouldn't be able to last for more than a few weeks. I'm... I'm sorry."

Pennsylvania was stunned. "What?" she asked. "Wait, you liked me? Hold on, was this a _thing?_"

"I... um. Yes? I thought it was obvious."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_110_mp3**

"I... had _no idea!_ How was _I_ supposed to know that's what New York felt about me? Nobody told me! And then he just _had_ to go and blurt out his feelings on television like he thought I knew! I bet I look like a bitch now. I bet I look like a bitch to all of my friends. Why couldn't have have just _told_ me? Maybe I would've reciprocated! Ugh. Maybe it's for the best. He's not exactly the most fun person to be around."

Pennsylvania

**10:49 AM.**

Before Pennsylvania had a chance to issue a response, Chris blurted out, "Alright, that's enough! We need to get going with the other teams, because there are people here and they're wondering why we're filming a TV show on the middle of the boardwalk and blocking up pedestrian traffic, so... I award a seven, just because of the obligatory 'drama' bonus you two have going on right now. Chef? Your score?"

"Meh. Six," he grunted, barely paying any attention to the two teens. "I'm hungry."

"Well, I award them a five," Blaineley murmured, looking thoughtful and brushing a speck of dirt off her dress. "Because New York didn't seem to know what he was doing just now."

"And that puts them at eighteen!" Chris announced to everyone. "And if we average sixteen and eighteen together, I think that makes seventeen! See? Don't even need an intern with a calculator for that. I am on _fire_ today."

Once a few moments went by, during which nobody acknowledged Chris's mathematical "prowess", Chris grumbled, "Well, send Team Democracy back. Current scores are... Team Dakota in first with twenty-two, Team Democracy in second with seventeen, and Team Victory in third with fourteen. Come on up, Team Touchdown!"

The five members of Team Democracy were all turned away, each of whom were quite confused and a little suspicious about each other now. The six of Team Touchdown took their places, eager to start the challenge.

"Texas and Louisiana!" Chris began. "Alabama and Mississippi! Tennessee and Georgia! Those are the pairings! Should be... interesting. Let's start with the love birds, shall we?"

Chris, of course, was referring to Alabama and Mississippi, who glanced at each other nervously. Chris grinned maliciously, and said, "Go on! I wanna see this."

"Um..." Alabama began. Mississippi glanced around nervously, eyes lingering on the cameras pointed her way. "Hi," was all she stammered.

"You're fat," Alabama said, appearing somewhat regretful. Mississippi gasped dramatically, and cried, "Well, you're a dumb-head!"

"No, you!"

"No. _You_, Bama!"

Before Alabama could shout another "No, you!" to Mississippi, Chris held his hands up and declared, "I can see this is getting nowhere! Thank you, Alabama and Mississippi. That was _very insightful_. Judges?"

"Two," Chef grunted, stealing a french fry from the hands of an unsuspecting intern. After a brief consideration, Blaineley awarded, "Six. Because I like this team. Because it's not Team America."

"Riiight..." Chris murmured. "Well, I give you two a four for effort. Which makes your final score... twelve! _Impressive_. I am just quaking in fear at your supposed rudeness!"

When nobody responded to that, Chris rubbed his forehead and elaborated, "That was sarcasm. Okay... let's have Texas and Louisiana now."

Alabama and Mississippi were quickly ushered out of the way of the cameras, letting Texas and Louisiana take their place. Chris kept checking his watch every few moments, somewhat eager to keep the show moving along. "Let's hear it, you two!" he cried. "I kind of wanna get this thing moving."

"Okay..." Texas began, sighing to himself as Louisiana stared at him suspiciously. "Louisiana," he began, "you would make a good addition to our alliance. You need to reconsider what you're doing with Tennessee. She'll drag you down-"

"Hey!" Chris yelled. "You're supposed to be insulting her-"

"Louisiana, listen to me. Join our alliance, and I can guarantee you'll be protected from being voted against until the merge."

"Texas, I'm warning you! Do you _want_ me to give you a zero? Because I can do that! I'm the host!"

"Yeah..." Texas mumbled, as everyone stared at him confusedly. "Now to the mean stuff. Louisiana, you're a whore. I never liked you. Christ, this is hard to say... you all know I don't mean this, right?"

Chris face palmed. "Okay. How about your response, Louisiana?" he asked. "I need something other than the insanity Texas is spewing. Come on, don't be shy. Destroy him."

Louisiana took a small breath, and faced Texas, who was quite a lot taller and considerably more muscular than she was. "Texas," she began, "You're cool, and all, but... I think you overestimate how much people like you. Your... only real friend on the show is Alabama, and that's just because he's literally the only other guy on the team right now. Also, that time you made burgers back in late July and everyone liked them? I'm... pretty sure everyone was lying. They were burnt. A lot."

Texas recoiled slightly, as though the news of spoiler hamburgers was enough to tip him over the edge. Louisiana looked slightly regretful, and stepped back, stating, "That's... all I have to say."

Chris whistled, and said, "Wow. Talk about revealing. Um, on that note... I think I give it a six, just for redeeming yourselves at the end there. Thoughts, judges?"

"Meh. Four," Chef decided after a small moment of thoughtful chin-scratching. "Just 'cause it ain't too right for a lady to tell a man off like that."

"Well, I give them an eight," Blaineley claimed, after inspecting her fingernails for any chips or bumps. "Louisiana did an excellent job at the end."

"In total, that's eighteen!" Chris announced. "And lastly, Tennessee and Georgia. Come on up so we can finish up Team Touchdown!"

...

In any event, Tennessee completely destroyed Georgia for leaving the alliance. Georgia was unable to effectively come up with anything in her own defense, and so the two were awarded a twenty-three. In average, Team Touchdown's final score was eighteen, putting them right above Team Democracy, replacing them to be in second place. Unless Team America screwed up spectacularly, Team Victory would be going to the voting ceremony. Of course, due to the fact that it was, indeed, Team _America_, it was within the realm of possibility that a screw up of such magnitude could happen.

Chris faced the only _three_ members of Team America: Indiana, Illinois, and Virginia. He grinned slightly. "Only two of you will be participating in today's challenge!" he announced. "Who will it be? Well, I already know, because I picked it out! Illinois and Indiana, come on up!"

Indiana groaned as she stepped up with Illinois, whose eyebrows were already waggling at the idea of getting to speak to Indiana again. "Not _him_," Indiana pleaded. "He's such a weirdo."

"Too bad, so sad!" Chris lamented, as he faked wiping away a tear. "It's part of the challenge! This'll be your _only_ chance, Team America. Let's hear it!"

The flat gray clouds above began to part a little, finally letting in some midday sunshine. Before Indiana had a chance to speak, Illinois blurted out, "You're not a lesbian."

Indiana groaned and was about to argue otherwise, before she was cut off by Illinois. "I know you aren't," he continued determinedly. "You can't be. I mean, it's wrong to be gay."

Washington raised a skeptical eyebrow at that, while a few members of Team Touchdown nodded along to Illinois's words, particularly Alabama. "So," Illinois continued, "I've decided that you're going to be my girlfriend. You know there's no avoiding that."

Indiana began faking barfing in an over-exaggerated manner. Chris was looking a little repulsed by Illinois now, but the kid plowed on. "You and me, Indiana. We can vote off Virginia just like the old days, where we were in an alliance together-"

"The _old _days?" Indiana repeated, unbelieving. "The old - Illinois, we were in an '_alliance_', as you call it, less than a few _weeks_ ago. Before that, we had Ohio ruling the team, and before _that_, it was just a chaos of nobody knowing what to do for two months straight. Illinois, you _repulse_ m-"_  
_

"Shut up!" Illinois interrupted. "You're going to be my girlfriend and that's _final_."

"God, I hate this show so much..."

"Hey!" Chris yelled. "That's enough! I mean, I am _all_ for the drama and all that, but you two aren't even doing the challenge properly. I give you a three. Stop it, you two."

"Speakin' of 'you two'," Chef repeated, "I _give_ y'all a two! That ain't anything good. Y'all are terrible at this."

And then came _Blaineley__'s_ response. She looked over the dwindling members of Team America. "Funny," she said. "I _knew_ this team would be going down. What with so many screw-ups and knuckle-heads and... _her_."

Blaineley's eyes rested a moment on Indiana, who backed away a little instinctively. Blaineley smirked some more, and said, "I give you two a _one_."

...

"And that means Team Dakota is the winner of this challenge!" Chris announced to the cameras. "In second came Team Touchdown, in third came Team Democracy, in fourth came Team Victory with fourteen points, and in last... Team America, with just _five points!_ A-_mazing_."

"Oh, come _on!_" Virginia cried. "_Chris! _You can't _really_ expect us to vote off another person, do you? We're _already_ down to _three people!_"

"And now you'll be down to _two!_" Chris told her, smiling at their predicament. "Wonder who's going home? Should be a clear-cut vote tonight! God, is it actually sunny now? Maybe we could all go to the beach..."

At his words, everyone but the members of Team America grew excited, even Blaineley. Nevertheless, Chris shrugged, and decided, "Nope! No time for the beach today. We've got voting to do. Into the buses, everyone!"

**7:06 PM.**

"Come on, out of the buses," Chris muttered to the three members of Team America as they climbed out into the cold night air of lower New Jersey. A half-moon slowly rose into the sky, making its way over tall, yellow-leafed birch trees. "Put your votes into the hat as usual, and I'll count them!"

Three votes were plopped into the hat. Chris took a look at each one, as Indiana, Virginia, and Illinois all sat down. It was pretty obvious who was going home, and Chris knew it.

"No surprise there," Chris muttered, tossing the scraps of paper aside and putting the elegant top hat back into a bag. "Okay!" he then announced, scratching a name off a list. "When I call your name, blah-blah-blah. You all know the drill. Today... I've only got _two_ boxes of Nerds. Who wants them?"

Illinois and Virginia both raised their hands. Surprisingly, Indiana didn't do anything, and only looked at Chris skeptically. Chris grinned a little bemusedly, and took a breath to say the first name:

"Indiana. No vote."

Indiana caught her box of Nerds. And just like that, it was down to Virginia and Illinois. No surprises. Chris held the box of Nerds a little higher, and looked down upon the two. Illinois appeared confident, but so did Virginia.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_111_mp3**

"Everything that happens tonight rests on Indiana voting off Virginia. I really hope she sees the light and does that. Me and her will finally be together. Sure, we had a rough patch in the beginning, and she _may_ be somewhat attracted to girls, but... that's _okay_. Because Virginia is going home tonight. And after that, it'll just be me and Indiana."

Illinois

**7:11 PM.**

"The final box of Nerds goes... to..."

...

...

...

"Vir-"

"Hold on," Indiana said, standing up. Oddly enough, her bag was already packed, and at the foot of the bus. Chris looked incredibly annoyed. "What the hell do you think you're _doing?_" he seethed. "I am in the _middle_ of some _seriously dramatic stuff here!_"

"I quit the show."

Everyone stared at Indiana. Chris's eyes widened, but after a moment of thought, his expression resumed to that of a complete tool. "No, you don't," he corrected. "You can't quit. It's in your contract."

Indiana swiftly kicked Chris in the balls, just like that. He doubled over, cried out in a girly voice, and collapsed onto the pavement. "Okay. How about now?" Indiana asked pseudo-sweetly.

"Engh... _fine!_ You win! You're _kicked off_, Indiana! Damn..."

Indiana stood, satisfied, and walked over to collect her bag. "What? Wait, _why?_" Virginia cried. "Indiana, _think about what you're doin'!_ Don't leave me with _this_ kid!"

There was no response to that from Indiana, who simply elected to give Virginia a big, big hug. "Sorry, Virginia," Indiana murmured. "But you're smart. You're _strong_. I get the feeling that you'll go very, very, _very_ far in this game. Just wait."_  
_

"How could you _do_ this to me?" Illinois asked, bleary-eyed. "I - come _on!_ What did I _do?_"

Indiana didn't give Illinois the satisfaction of receiving a response. "Well... looks like I'm off," Indiana muttered, glancing nervously at Chris's still-shaking body on the ground. "It's been fun. But not really. I think I'll be pretty happy to finally get home."

And with that, Indiana receded into the distance, heading towards the taxi. A few moments later, Chris got up, and dusted himself off angrily. "Good riddance..." he muttered, still pissed. "Well, at least Blaineley'll be happy that girl's gone. And I will be, too. But anyway. I... guess that's that? Illinois, you're still on the show."

Illinois thought to himself for a few moments, at the end of which, he blurted out, "Wait, I would have been _voted off?_"

"Yep."

"Pretty much," Virginia informed him.

...

**8:19 PM.**

_Exactly twenty-five contestants remained._ This was the true half-way point in the entire show.

Team Victory's bus rattled along with all the other buses, heading west towards the state of Indiana. They'd just narrowly escaped a voting ceremony, and in the end, managed to hold onto its six occupants. While Team Victory had early on seemed to be 'the team that keeps losing', it was now finally living up to its name.

Most contestants were in their bunk rooms doing whatever they usually did the night after a particularly brutal challenge. Of course, Washington was still in the main room on the couch, reading a book, or a newspaper, as usual.

This night he was reading a book. The television up above was on some news report about protests in Hong Kong, but it went ignored by him. The steady tick of the clock, the humming of the bus, and the soft sound of footsteps on carpet was all he heard.

Oregon peeked his head around the corner. He was already in his pajamas. "Hey, Washington..." he greeted, looking a little nervous. Washington glanced over at Oregon, and said, "Oh, hey. What's up?"

"Oh, um... nothing... hey, do you have a moment to talk?"

This seemed to surprise Washington, but he consented, and sat up on the couch, leaving room for Oregon to sit, which he did. The two sat in silence as Washington saved his place in his book. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Um..." Oregon began, looking incredibly hesitant. "Well, it's just that... I mean... okay, you know how you, um... came out... to me, as being gay?"

"Yes. That was a thing that happened. Why?"

"Well... I mean, I... this is kind of hard to admit. It's just... I've been thinking about some things. About, like... who I am, as a person, and what I believe, and what I know about myself, and..."

...

"Go on," Washington encouraged, looking a little expectant. Oregon cleared his throat, and said, "Well, you came out to me, so... I mean... I kind of owe it to you now. I... I'm-"

Just then, Hawaii burst into the room, yelling, "Washington! Yo, where's the scissors? Oh... hey, Oregon."

Washington stared blankly at Hawaii. "What?"

"The scissors, the scissors!" Hawaii cried, running his hands through his hair. "Where _are_ they?"

"Um. Why?"

"New Mexico put gum in his hair."

"What? _Again?_"

Hawaii nodded in response. Washington rolled his eyes, stood up from the couch, leaving Oregon behind, and muttered, "They're in the drawer. Here, I'll help."

And with that, Washington and Hawaii receded into the bunk rooms, leaving Oregon all alone on the couch in just his pajamas.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_112_mp3**

"I have a confession. I... know exactly what Oregon is doing. He's coming out of the closet. He's gay. It's obvious.

I've predicted this for a long time now. At least since late July. He's just waaay too feminine not to be. I remember him being actually a little excited about designing and trying on dresses during the fashion challenge. And recent events have only increased my suspicions. Hell, if Hawaii hadn't come in the room right then, Oregon probably would have said it then.

But I don't want to make Oregon come out. He needs to do this on his own terms. Me forcing him to or pressuring him or whatever won't help that at all. Early on, I suspected, but I didn't care. After what happened with, uh, 'Andrew', as I called it, I... haven't been too eager to jump into romantic relations with another guy. And besides, it wouldn't last. But... I don't know why, and I can't explain it, but I just feel an _obligation_ to protect Oregon. I _have_ to protect him. I can tell he's struggling internally. He's feeling a lot of things that he needs to figure out for himself. I've seen this since the start.

Washington

******ELIMINATED:** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, and Indiana.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO:** Knifez, Winkie4, Curcle, TheUnnamedOlivia, and Guest!

**aspiringAnimator** - Hooray for yet another chapter! The one that I accidentally deleted half of is not completed, by the way; don't worry, I'll let you guys know when it is!

We are _halfway there!_ So if your favorite state has made it this far, then congratulations. They are better than the average state. Also, we are getting shockingly close to the end of Act 2! I know; already, right? Just a heads up, because I get asked this a lot: the merge is scheduled to happen at the begin of Act 3, which will be in mid-October. Though we have an Intermission right before then. To clear _more_ things up... the five teams will be joining up into _two _teams! Exactly ten people each. How fun will that be? Will it be random teams? Or something else? Who knows? I do! Ahahahahaaaa! Ahah. Heh. Ahem.

My Youtube channel is still a thing! Check it out via my profile if you haven't. Also, the poll is still on my profile! Have you not voted? In that case, what is _wrong_ with you? Go do that!_  
_

And laaastly... I'm pretty happy with the number of reviewers! Keep 'em coming! You guys are the reason I do this: the reason I write ten-thousand words a week. For _fun_.


	27. The SAT

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - **(**Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, and Texas**) **and **(**Louisiana and Tennessee**)**.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota.

**Team America** - Illinois and Virginia.

**EPISODE 26: THE SAT**

_"Welcome back... to The Fifty State Roadtrip!" - Chris_

**Wednesday, October 1st, 2014. Indianapolis, Indiana. 5:58 AM.**

The gentle purring of five charter buses making their way through the hill-sides of Indiana is a lot more soothing than you'd expect. A sleepy sun rose over the eastern horizon, dotting pink hue over the clouds. Not a contestant was stirring from slumber, though it was challenge day. All was peaceful. And then-

"_GOOD MORNING, MY LOVELY TWENTY-FIVE CONTESTANTS! THIS IS PRINCIPAL CHRIS SPEAKING!_" a voice blared. New York jerked up in his bed and slammed his noggin on the bunk above. Connecticut rubbed his eyes sleepily and put his pillow over his ears to blot out the noise.

"_IT'S A SCHOOL MORNING, SWEETIES! Time to get dressed! Don't wanna be late for the bus!_"

"Ten more minutes..." Massachusetts moaned, pressing his face deeper into his pillow. "Just ten more minutes..."

When it became obvious that literally nobody was willing to get up and get dressed, Chris blared, "_It's part of today's challenge! So you have to do it._"

New York groaned loudly and swung his legs out of bed. Surprisingly, the bus wasn't even moving as it had been the entire night, but was actually parked for some reason. They were already at their destination. Within a few moments, New York was dressed, and out his bunk room.

Outside, New York was one of the only people who'd actually gotten up to see what was going on. The others were Washington, Maine, most of the members of Team Dakota except for South Dakota, and Virginia. Everybody else was still in bed, not very eager to start a day before the sun was even up. Chris grinned widely at everyone who showed up, and asked, "Who wants to take a test?"

New York squinted to the building behind Chris. It was a large high school, but completely empty. Chris caught him staring, and asked, "Oh, that? We've rented it out! Turns out it's been abandoned by the school board of Indianapolis for years due to lack of funds, but it's still completely operational! In fact, we have a new faculty member we'd like to introduce! Say hello to Mr. Hatchet!"

None other than Chef emerged, looking no happier than most of the kids to be awake this early. Nevertheless, he was wearing a nicely tailored suit, quite like the ones he wore during the awards ceremony of Total Drama Action. He was scowling today, however.

Just then, North Dakota noticed that the five buses were all painted yellow today. "Hey!" she yelled. "What the hell's up with that? Why are they yellow?"

"What are you _talking_ about?" Chris asked, faking legitimate confusion. "Those are school buses! They've _always_ been yellow! Now stop complaining. Where's everyone else? I called."

Slowly, more people started streaming out of the buses, though reluctantly at first. It wasn't until almost half-past six that everyone was finally up and running, ready for Chris to deliver news of what the day's challenge would entail.

"Each of you will be taking the SAT!" Chris announced, once everyone had arrived. "Just about all of you should have taken this before. The team with the highest average score wins, and the team with the lowest average score loses! It's a _very_ simple challenge to understand, yes... but quite difficult as you're actually taking it."

North Dakota groaned, and asked, "Why are we going to school? This is stupid. We were all promised we'd have an entire semester away from school."

Chris shrugged, and winked annoyingly. "It's part of the challenge!" Chris informed her. "And all of your contracts state that what I say, goes. Cheer up, everyone! Just do your best! Mr. Hatchet, please lead our loving students into the testing room!"

Chef grumbled something foul under his breath at Chris, yet waved a meaty hand to signal for the twenty-five contestants to follow him. "This way," was all he grunted, taking them all inside.

As everyone made their way through the empty, dusty halls, South Dakota leaned towards her sister, and whispered, "It's not all bad, North Dakota. Maybe... maybe you could go back to the old days for a day! Y'know... where you had your 'rivals' in school."

"Rivals are stupid," North Dakota muttered in reply. "And don't patronize me, sis. This is just for the challenge. It's not like... not like I'll become _obsessed_ over getting a higher score than someone else."

South Dakota looked doubtful at that, and merely allowed a small grin to take hold of her expression.

Within moments, the contestants were led into one small classroom. Dust covered the floors, and cobwebs hung from the ceiling. As Chef batted a broom at the low-hanging webs, Chris coughed a little, and advised, "Take your seats, kids. Doesn't matter where you sit as long as you're not cheating off of another camper - I mean - contestant. I keep forgetting this isn't the old season."

Nobody responded. A few people had their heads down, but others were trying to stay as attent as possible. It was quite clear that exhaustion and sleep deprivation was going to be a big, big factor in this challenge. Without explaining any more, Chris started passing out test papers. "You have four hours to complete this test!" he shouted, though few heard him. "At least _try_ not to fall asleep. Please."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_113_mp3**

"Okay. I used to think that the car-building challenge, or the drivers' test challenge, or even the awake-a-thon challenges were the hardest challenges. I was _dead wrong_. That... that SAT we took? It was _brutal_. When I wasn't actually falling asleep on my desk, I was choking on the dusty air and trying to focus on all those crazy problems I hadn't heard of before. I haven't been in school for about four months now! What do they _expect?_"

Connecticut

**7:10 AM.**

The sound of scratching pencils filled the room. Chris had already left, leaving Chef to watch over them all. Pages were being flipped in the immense test packet. It was likely that this one was much, much larger than the usual SAT test. And in a small corner, New Mexico chewed on his pencil thoughtfully, racking his brains for the answer to a particular problem.

_If a ball falls at a force of five Newtons, but is also being pushed by the breeze to the right with a force of one Newton, what is it's resultant vector? What? Yo, hold on, repeat that. How am I supposed to know? Do the test makers want me to test it right now?_

Briefly, New Mexico considered throwing his pencil across the room to test the problem, but doubted it would help him any with his response. Instead, he furtively glanced around him, to see if someone might have the answer. As he was in the corner, there were only a few other people: Colorado, who was bent over his test in concentration; Massachusetts, who seemed to be flying through the test; and Arizona, who, wow, was looking pretty good, and seemed to be getting through her test with ease.

_Focus! I gotta focus. Get my head in the game. Falls at five Newtons... what's a Newton? It's like that... Isaac guy. Yeah. Him. The apple guy. Does it gotta do with gravity? Maybe the ball's on the moon, and that's why it's falling... or... something... wow, it is hot in here. And bright. If I could just... shield my eyes from the light... that'd be pretty nice..._

Carefully, New Mexico leaned down, and covered his head with his arms, sighing in relief at no longer having to be subjected to the bright lights of the testing environment.

**7:22 AM.**

Massachusetts heard a thump beside him. He quickly glanced over; New Mexico had fallen asleep on his test, head landing with a bang. A few other people heard it, but Chef didn't seem to, who was just inspecting his toenails for some reason. Massachusetts shook his head briefly, and focused on the test.

_Okay. Hope this is the last of the Physics-based problems. If a projectile is launched at a thirty degree angle above the horizon at a force of fifteen Newtons, what are it's horizontal and vertical components? Oh, this is easy. I just need to use the Cosine and Sine functions and use thirty degrees for Theta. Wait, hold on, how am I supposed to do that without a graphing calculator?_

Massachusetts darted his head up, glancing around quickly to see if anybody else was in the same predicament. About a fourth of everyone was just lying with their heads down on their desks, but a few people worked diligently through the test. There were no calculators provided.

_Well... maybe I can figure out Cosine and Sine without a calculator. It's all based on Pythagorean's Theorem, after all. Let's see... Cosine would be the horizontal component, and the horizontal squared times the vertical squared equals the resultant, which we already know to be fifteen Newtons. However, I don't particularly see how this all plays out... I don't have a calculator. Were we supposed to get one? Maybe I should just skip and move onto the next one. Can't spend too long. Let's see... oooh, this problem's about graphing functions..._

**8:41 AM.**

Almost two hours had passed already. By now, just about everybody was awake and chugging through the test, with the exceptions of a few contestants who'd fallen sound asleep. In the smack middle of the room, Mississippi "sped" through her problems.

_This sucks real bad..._

She sighed, and glanced around for Alabama, who was somewhere in the front and appeared to be having as much trouble as her. She looked back down at her test, and racked her brain for the information she required.

_It's somethin' 'bout grammar. What's a pre...prepositional phrase? How am I supposed to know? This is stupid. This test is stupid. A prepositional phrase is... that thing. What are the options?_

She quickly skimmed over the four options she could choose for the answer.

_A: A noun.  
B. A verb.  
C. A sentence.  
D. A modifying phrase consisting of a preposition and its object._

She thought about the problem carefully, and eventually circled C, because someone had once told her that test answers were more likely to be C than anything else. Wow, Mississippi was on fire with this test. Nobody was stopping her now!

_Alrighty... question number hundred an' fifteen... correct the sentence. "Harry and I wanted to go with _ to the prom."_

_A: You guys  
B: Your  
C: Y'all  
D: You're_

_Well this one's real easy! It's y'all. Duh. Next question._

**8:59 AM.**

The steady click of the clock was really getting on Virginia's nerves. So was the incessant tapping of Texas's feet, and the angry sighing of Kansas every time he got stumped on a problem, which was often.

Virginia glanced around nervously. It was only her and Illinois, so if they both made a decent score, they could potentially stay out of voting. But when Virginia glanced off to her left, she realized Illinois was asleep, pencil still dangling in his hand.

She reached across the aisle, and made to shook his shoulder, when-

"_Hey!_" Chef barked suddenly. Virginia froze. His glare stung, as he shouted, "Keep yo' hands to yo' self, Virginia!"

"Sorry!" she whispered, and glanced over at Illinois. He hadn't stirred. She rolled her eyes, and continued work on the test.

_Alright... a logical problem. If there are two dogs, three cats, seven humans, and... hmm... it just wants me to count the legs? Wait, there's gotta be a trick or something to this one... there's no way it's that easy... hmm..._

**9:23 AM.**

The time limit slowly wore on, nearing its end. There was only a little more than thirty minutes remaining. North Dakota, situated in the very front of the room, was quite simply speeding through her test as fast as possible. The only other person who was near her speed was Washington, and she knew this. He sat not far away.

_Sis was right. For once. God damn that Washington. I bet he thinks he's going to beat me. Yeah, well, he's about to get a nasty surprise, because I'm nearly done..._

_The diameter of a circle with a circumference of seventeen centimeters? Four point six five centimeters! Next question. An object is falling at a speed of fifty meters per second at a constant velocity through air, and it's asking what this means... well, duh, that's its terminal velocity. Next question._

_Scientist who studied biological changes in animals over time... that's Darwin. Hah. The people who made these tests probably think I'm some idiot or something. No, I'm North Dakota. I actually have a successful team. Come onnn, just a few more problems..._

_Ugh, another function equation... they really need to give us calculators for these... eleven... point... two? I'll just circle eleven point one, that's close to what I got. Just a few more..._

A few tense moments went by during which North Dakota's pencil flew across her paper, analyzing questions, formulating responses and solutions, and finally-

CRACK. Her pencil slammed down on the desk as a satisfied smile crept across her face. A few people around her gaped at her. She peered over at Washington, who was still working on his test. And with that, North Dakota _knew_ she was the best. Nobody could beat her.

**9:49 AM.**

_I'm doing well. I just need to see if I can finish these last few problems before time's up..._

Washington studied over his previous set of answers, and deemed them good enough for submission. He nodded to himself, and flipped the page, revealing the final set of questions. As he worked over the first few, his mind began to wander again.

_I wonder who's going to win this challenge. I think if everyone tries, our team should do well. Likely, it'll be between Team Touchdown and Team America for the loss... is North Dakota staring at me? Wait, irrelevant, never mind. Let's think about our team. Arizona'll have a good score... not really sure about Hawaii... probably not California... and if Oregon does well, then..._

He glanced to his right, and saw Oregon working through the last fourth of the test, evidently stuck on some problem that had to do with graphing. For what seemed like minutes, Washington was pretty content to just watch Oregon slowly work on his test.

"_Five minutes_ remainin'!" Chef suddenly shouted, making Washington jump. _Five minutes. That's not so bad. These last few problems are just calculus-based, I think. An object falling at... constant velocity... no, that's not constant velocity, that's terminal velocity. Actually, technically it's never a constant velocity, the air would be thickening as you fell, but they must want me to put terminal velocity. I wonder which problem Oregon's on now? I wish I could help him. He could probably use the help. Maybe after the test I'll go over some things he may have missed... that might be fun. I'd be like a tutor. I wonder if he'd like that. Alright, next problem... oh, this one's about Darw-_

"Time is _up_, everyone!" Chris suddenly shouted, bursting into the dusty classroom and possibly giving a heart attack to a few contestants. Illinois jerked awake sleepily, as Chris continued to yell, "Put down your pencils and pass up your papers! Yes, that means _everybody!_"

Reluctantly, each contestant passed their test packet up to Chris, who collected them with a grin on his face. "We'll put these through the grading machine in a jiffy!" he announced. "While you wait, it's time for a delicious cafeteria-food lunch! Oh, the nostalgia. I'm sure you're all very excited."

Colorado raised a hand quickly, and asked, "Is there any chance that it's _not_ food cooked by Chef?"

"Not at all, Colorado! There is no chance that it's _not_ Chef's delicious food."

At that news, a few contestants started gagging at the thought of being forced to choke down Chef's food. Everyone began to file around the door to leave for the cafeteria.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_114_mp3**

"Wow. That was one of the worst challenges to date. I mean, yeah, I think I did pretty well on it, but just... _sitting there_ for nearly _four hours_ was too much. How can _anybody_ stand that?"

New York

**10:06 AM.**

The cafeteria at this particular deserted academy was much more like a gymnasium than an actual, respectable eating establishment. The ceiling was high and wide, and dotted with giant gym lights that took simply forever to light up. Circular tables dotted the room, offering an inviting place for teams to sit and regroup. But not everyone sat with their originally designated team.

For example, Virginia decided to sit with Team Democracy at their insistence, rather than sit with Illinois. Illinois, on the other hand, decided to go sit and meet Team Touchdown.

But even Team Touchdown itself was split. Tennessee was desperately trying to get Louisiana to come sit with her, but all she got in return was an invitation to sit with the entirety of Team Touchdown.

"Come _on_, Tennessee!" Louisiana insisted, patting the seat next to her at Team Touchdown's table. "We're all one _team_."_  
_

"No, we're two _alliances_, Louisiana," Tennessee argued. "You can't _sit_ with the enemy. Now come with _me!_"

Louisiana hesitated. "You can sit with us, Tennessee," she murmured quietly. "There don't need to be... all this... _animosity_ towards each other. It just ain't right. We're one team, and - hey!"

Before Louisiana could finish talking, Tennessee spun around and strode over to an empty table to go sit by herself. Louisiana's shoulders slumped slightly as she watched her friend recede away. Texas patted her on the back sympathetically, and muttered, "It's okay, Louisiana. You don't need her. You're one of us now."

Alabama looked up at Texas, glaring. Neither him nor Mississippi seemed too pleased that Texas was trying to get Louisiana into their alliance, which was already beginning to grow a little too big with Georgia's addition. Even Illinois seemed vaguely interested at what was going on.

"Yeah... I guess I am..." Louisiana mumbled in affirmation. "It's just... I wish Tennessee could see that we're all a team. I mean, she's got all these ideas, and I used to agree with her pretty staunchly, but... she's just... stubborn now."

Texas nodded sympathetically after carefully prodding the thick black sludge on his meal tray with a knife. "It's alright. You're with us now," Texas repeated, right when Chris burst through the doors and into the cafeteria. "I have the test results!" he revealed, wielding a huge stack of papers. Virtually everybody stood from their seats to get a better look at him.

"In first place!" Chris shouted, voice amplified by the absolute echo present in the room. "First place was awarded to..."

...

"Team Democracy, with an average of ninety-one! Nice going!"

All five of Team Democracy celebrated another of their somewhat rare victories. Shoulders from the other teams started to slump. "In second place!" Chris continued, glancing back down at the documents. "Second place goes to Team Victory, with an average of eighty-four! Third place is for Team Dakota, with an average of eighty-two! Good job, kids!"

That just left teams America and Touchdown. Tensions were high. Chris smirked, and held the grades a little higher. "Not too impressive scores, America and Touchdown!" he informed. "Not impressive at all. But... in fourth place, and thus safe from the voting ceremony tonight..." Chris started, closing his eyes for effect. "Is..."

...

...

...

"Team Touchdown, with an average of just sixty-nine!"

Alabama started snickering, as did a few other of the slightly more immature contestants. Chris looked annoyed. "And in last place, Team America, with an average of exactly forty!"

"_What?_" Virginia cried. "I thought I did well!"

"You did!" Chris confirmed. "In fact, you got an eighty, Virginia! It was your fellow teammate here that didn't actually _do_ the test, was the problem."

Virginia seethed with anger, and quickly spun around to face Illinois, who started backing away slowly. "Virginia," he quietly said. "It's okay. I... I just fell asleep, is all! You don't need to get angry! Please... I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to! Really!"

"_Shut up!_" Virginia screamed, and seemed ready to punch the guy. "I have _had_ it with you. Getting Maryland voted off. Acting like a douche to Indiana and making her quit. And now _this_. Because of you, there _is no__ Team America anymore_. Chris... Chris, we only have two people, how are we even supposed to vote?"

"Simple!" Chris told her. "We do a tie breaker! I was actually anticipating this might happen today, because Team America is simply _the best_ at losing all the challenges for the past few months."

North Dakota unexpectedly raised her hand just then. "Out of all the contestants, who got the top scores?" she demanded. Chris looked over the heavy stacks of paper, and said, "Ummm... okay. In third place, out of everybody, was Maine, with a ninety-six. In second place, Washington, with a ninety-eight, and in first place... _you_, North Dakota. With a ninety-nine."

North Dakota enjoyed a private moment of satisfaction at having beaten quite literally everybody. She acted as though she despised rivals, though she reveled in beating them. She even briefly considered flipping off a rather befuddled and annoyed Washington.

"Alright! Looks like we're gonna have to set up for a rather special _gameshow_," Chris cryptically revealed to just about everybody. "We're staying here for the rest of the day, kids, so get comfy. We meet back here at seven for the last voting ceremony of Team America! Who will make it? Who won't? Find out after the break!"

A few contestants started rolling their eyes; Chris was doing his obligatory "commercial break" thing again. After a few moments of just staring into the camera, it was shut off, and he stretched. "Welp. Interns, get cracking on the set up," he declared. "Let's make this a big deal."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_115_mp3**

"Honestly... I'm a little nervous about going up for this game show. I mean, it's me versus Virginia, right? And obviously, all the fans are going to be rooting for me, but... still. I just shake this bad feeling I've got. I can't help but wondering if this team was always cursed from the moment Michigan was kicked off. Maybe even before then. Who knows."

Illinois

**7:00 PM.**

"Welcome back... to The Fifty State Roadtrip!"

Chris stood in a handsome tuxedo in the middle of a cafeteria. Two podiums rested behind him, as he addressed the twenty-three contestants sitting patiently in the audience before him. "You're coming here _live_ to the official tie-breaker between Virginia and Illinois!"

New Mexico leaned toward an Intern, and whispered, "Hey, we're not _really_ doing this live, are we...?" To that, he got a stiff shake of the head, meaning no.

"Meet Virginia!" Chris announced, gesturing towards the girl. "For her audition tape, she simply bagged groceries at her local Whole Foods and told us why she was a perfect fit for the show. We were enchanted by her 'everyday girl' approach! But on the other hand..."

Chris face Illinois now. "Meet Illinois, straight from the heart of Chicago!" Chris introduced. "In his audition tape, Illinois showed us extensive footage of his Lego collection! He let us meet his tiny little dachshund, whom he calls Betsy! Who would've thought it would be _him_ to be one of the final two in Team America? Not me, that's for sure!"

Illinois's face burned with shame. Chris smirked, and addressed the audience of contestants once more. "We're doing something a little _fun_ today!" he announced. "It'll be a game show, with eight questions about each of dear, departed teammates! And by departed, of course, I mean voted off without hesitation. Whichever one of you with the most points wins!"

Virginia clapped her hands in excitement and determination, while Illinois stood fearlessly.

"Your first question is about a fan favorite: West Virginia! Here it is. Virginia, I _expect_ you to get this one!"

Virginia seemed as though she'd almost completely forgotten her escapades with West Virginia. It seemed like centuries ago. Chris looked over a note card, and asked, "In Act 1, Episode 3, where is it suspected that West Virginia hid Virginia's toothbrush for safekeeping? Is it..."

"A, under his bed...

B, next to the sink...

C, in his pants...

or D, in his hair?"

Illinois was stumped. "How am I supposed to know?" he argued. "This question is obviously tailored to Virginia!"

Virginia raised a hand, and quietly asked, "Is it... C? In his pants? Because I remember that one time pretty well."

"C is correct!" Chris shouted. "One point for Virginia! Next question. This one is about Wisconsin! Does anybody remember him? I'm pretty sure they don't! He never talked much. Anyways. True or false! Wisconsin said something the night he was voted off in Act 1, Episode 10."

Virginia raised a hand, and yelled, "True!"

"_Wrong!_ Bad guess, Virginia!" Chris yelled. After a moment of hesitation, Illinois raised a hand, and asked, "Uh... so it's false?"

"Correct! Illinois gets a point!" Chris awarded. "One to one! That means-"

"Hey!" Virginia yelled. "It was obvious once I was proved wrong that it was true, and not false! That's no fair!"

Chris shrugged. "Too bad! Third question. This one is about Michigan! The question is... Michigan's fan, who cornered him in Act 1, Episode 13. What was her name? Is it..."

"A, Shannon...

B, Shelby...

C, Alicia...

or D, Shelley?"

Illinois raised a hand, determined to get the right answer before Virginia this time. "The answer is C!" he yelled. "I remember her saying something about an Alicia!"

"Wrong, Illinois! Virginia, any guesses?"

Virginia thought about it for a moment. "Um... it wasn't Shannon, was it?" she asked tentatively.

"Wrooong! Both of you are wrong! The correct answer was B! No points, and you're still tied. Next question! This one's about Kentucky. In Act 1, Episode 1, what team name did Kentucky initially suggest for Team America? Was it..."

"A, Team Onion...

B, Team Orange...

C, Team Avocado...

or D, Team America?"

This question required some thinking. "Um..." Virginia thought. "Isn't it Team Onion? Because I remember tellin' him-"

"Correct!" Chris acknowledged. "One point for Virginia! It's two to one now. Question number five. This one's about North Carolina."

"In Act 1, Episode 5, which of these were North Carolina's very first words recorded into the episode? Was it..."

"A, 'Nice going, Indiana,'...

B, 'They really expect us to walk across the entire state?'...

C, 'Don't worry, guys. I know how to ski. It'll be fine,'...

or D, 'Uh huh. I recall you stating last week that Pennsylvania would be voted off,'?"

Virginia nearly jumped up from her podium. "B!" she cried. "It's B! I remember Episode 5 was the one where we had to walk across Rhode Island!"

"Wrooong! Decent guess, though!" Chris told her. "North Carolina never said that! Illinois, do you have a guess?"

Illinois shrugged. "A guess? Yeah," he muttered. "I guess D, because it's the only letter we haven't used in the multiple choice questions."

...

"Wow, Illinois... yes, it's D," Chris muttered, face-palming. "_Brilliant _deductive skills. It's tied again. Two to two. Let's kick this up a notch. Question number six! It's about Ohio!"

"True or false? The feud between Ohio and Michigan during Act 1, Episode 14 indirectly _or_ directly caused Team Victory's sand castle to fall down."

...

"Uh. True?" Virginia asked, before Illinois had a chance to say anything. "Because I remember that happening-"

"Wrong!"

...

"Okay, so it's false," Illinois stated matter-of-factly. Chris clapped his hands, and confirmed it. "Correct, Illinois! Two to three, in Illinois's favor! Looks like it's heating up! Question seven, about Maryland. Which of these was the first recorded line of Maryland in the entire show? Hint: this is from Act 1, Episode 7! Is it..."

"A, 'Wait, someone voted for me,'...

B, 'The toilet's clogged. Who did it?'...

C, 'West Virginia is being weird again,'...

or D, 'Does anyone wanna play Monopoly with me?'?"

Virginia gasped. "I remember this!" she cried. "She told me - about the toilet - it's B! I remember!"

"Correct!" Chris awarded. "It's now _tied again!_ Uh oh... that means this next question is the official tie-breaker!"

Chris was having way too much fun with this. It was beginning to get late, too. Chris looked over the final note card. "The final question!" he declared, slightly unnecessarily. "Question number eight. It's about Indiana. Which of the following is _not_ a statement Indiana said during her final episode, which was Act 2, Episode 25? Remember, which of these is _not_ something she said. Is it..."

"A, 'Wow, it's like we have Blaineley as a host again since she's apparently here every challenge now!'...

B, 'Not _him_. He's such a weirdo,'...

C, 'Fuck off, Blaineley,'...

or D, 'I think I'll be pretty happy to finally get home,'?"

Illinois raised his hand instantaneously, as did Virginia. "It's D!" Illinois screamed. "She never would've said something positive like that!"

"_WRONG!_" Chris shouted in return. "Dreadfully wrong! Those were actually her last words on the show! And it was literally less than a few days ago! How could you forget? Well... looks like it's up to Virginia. Do you know the right answer?"

Virginia hesitated, glancing at the expectant faces of more than two-dozen people, not even mentioning the cameras pointed her way. "Um..." she muttered. "I remember her saying A... and maybe B... but I don't think she would've... hm. Okay. My final answer is C."

...

...

...

"That is _correct, Virginia!_ Virginia, you _win!_ You are now the _only member of Team America!_"

"What?" Illinois cried. "Wait. No! No, Chris, there's gotta be a mistake!"

"No mistakes here! Get out of here, Illinois, before we have to restrain you."

Nobody seemed very sorry to see Illinois go kicking and screaming. It didn't appear he made very many friends at all, which was a mild shame. The only sound left of him was the clanging of a cafeteria door, signalling his departure. Virginia raised her hand.

"Um... since I'm the last person of Team America..." she began slowly. "What happens now?"

Chris shrugged. "This is your team!" he told her. "You're the last one. It's business as usual. If you lose a challenge, then you go home, simple as that. Hopefully, though, you'll at least stick around until the merge."

Chris was about to stride off towards the doors with everyone else, right before Virginia caught his arm with one last request. "Wait!" she yelled. "One last request."

"Ugh. God. Okay, what is it?"

"Can I change the name of the team to 'Team Virginia'?"

...

Chris glanced at his clipboard and sighed. "Yeah... sure, whatever..." he murmured. "Team Virginia it is. Happy?"

Virginia was more than happy. She was the last contestant standing on a team ravaged by destruction and voting ceremonies almost every other episode. She was the last woman standing. And in a show like this, where any day could be your last, this was definitely something worth celebrating.

******ELIMINATED:** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, and Illinois.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO:** Knifez, Winkie4, weeaboopunk, and Guest!

**aspiringAnimator -** And thus, the curse is lifted. Or something like that. Kind of weird finally having a one person team. It'll be fun to write for!

Also: EPISODE 23, THE SEPTEMBER DEBATES, IS FINALLY COMPLETELY REWRITTEN! Go check it out, if you were disappointed by the fact that it was half-finished due to my temporary stupidity. Sorry about that, again! It really shouldn't happen again, but FanFiction is rather finicky. Here's to hoping, eh?

Go vote on the poll! Have you not done that? Why not? Are you afraid? Are you gonna be a... _chicken?_ Go on. Give into peer pressure. Vote for the contestant _you_ are rooting for!

And lastly, review! Read! Favorite and follow if you love this story or something like that! We're on the home stretch to the end of Act 2 here, people. I'm excited. Especially for the merge. Think of all the writing opportunities with all these contestants mingling finally! Now Washington will finally have someone to talk to other than Oregon! Oh boy! Excitement!


	28. Gay

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - **(**Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, and Texas**) **and Tennessee.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota.

**Team Virginia** - Virginia.

**EPISODE 27: GAY**

_"We all have to confront our identities no matter what, Oregon. You can either try to run from it... or concede to it. And aren't you tired of running?" - Washington_

**Saturday, October 4th, 2014. Chicago, Illinois. 7:09 AM.**

Three months had finally passed in The Fifty State Roadtrip.

The show's popularity was beginning to mount again. It was even attracting international attention, with countries over in Europe and even Asia demanding editions of the show in their language. Chris was now regularly making it in the tabloids, as excited fans caught glimpses of him in various states. For now, however, he was leading the five buses a little further west, into Illinois.

One of those five buses was completely empty except for one person. And the driver, of course, but they never count. That one contestant was Virginia, who'd spent the previous few days simply _enjoying_ the benefit of solitude for once, from a team that was once full of bickering, yelling, whining-

Now, there was only _silence_. As a generous yellow sun rose over the horizon and above the yellow-leafed trees, Virginia sat to enjoy a Poptart. No longer did she have to argue about having to split it with Kentucky, or worried about West Virginia disinfecting her bed again. No more were the disgruntled mumblings of Ohio as he strode through the bus, complaining about Michigan's newest folly. She was finally all alone. She actually _survived_.

Virginia's day, up until the challenge, consisted of sleeping in late, watching TV to her heart's content, eating at least two packages of Poptarts, and using the shower for _more_ than five minutes. It was paradise.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_116_mp3**

"I gotta admit, I _am_ a little nervous about bein' on my own against a bunch of teams with no less than five people each. I guess I gotta toughen up, huh? Though... I'm not sure how I even _got_ this far without bein' tough."

Virginia

**9:23 AM.**

Team Democracy's bus rode in somber silence as it approached a huge city not far away at this point. The team was enjoying relative stability, after New Jersey was voted off. But even still, tensions had gradually been rising for the past month or so as a teammate got voted off, one by one. A situation like that could make anybody terrified for the future.

And New York couldn't help but wonder what would happen when the team happened to lose a challenge before the merge. Or two. It was possible, after all. When it happened, who would be voted off? Somehow... it seemed all too likely to be him. Or so he thought, anyways.

_Okay. So. Right now, we're good. We've done well as a team, especially last challenge. But what happens when we lose one?_

New York paced incessantly around his bunk room with a worried expression.

_So who do we need? Me, obviously. We need to keep Pennsylvania... and probably Massachusetts, if I want support after the merge... Connecticut, well, he's expendable. And so is Maine, though I doubt Massachusetts would be okay with me voting her off... I need to get someone on my side._

New York quietly opened the door of his bunk room, and peeked around the hallway. Pennsylvania was at the end of it, standing in front of the door to the bathroom, evidently waiting for Maine to finish her shower.

"Hey, Penn..." New York quietly greeted, startling Pennsylvania. "Jesus! York, you nearly scared me..." Pennsylvania muttered, though she seemed somewhat glad to see him. "What's up?"

"Well... we're friends, right, Penn?"

"When did you start calling me Penn?"

New York froze. "Maine calls you that, right?" he asked.

"Well... yeah, she does, but that's just her nickname for me... well, never mind, _yes_, we're friends, York. We all are. Why?"

New York sighed. Evidently, Pennsylvania was under the impression that everything was totally okay on the team, and that there was no need to worry about getting voted off when the time came. New York took a breath, and mentioned, "In... the event that our team lost a challenge soon... I... just want to make sure I have your support."

"York, I'm _not_ gonna vote you off. Don't worry-"

"No, not like that... I mean... I want you to _help me_ vote someone off."

Pennsylvania froze. "What?" she asked. "Who? Why would you want to do that?"

"Well. It's Connecticut. I... think he might be conspiring against the team."

Everything coming out of New York's mouth was baloney, and he knew it, but Pennsylvania didn't.

"But Connecticut is so nice! York, are you sure?"

New York hesitated at that, and then nodded his head affirmatively. "I'm pretty sure. Just... watch out for him, okay?"

**9:51 AM.**

Chicago. The Windy City.

Five buses sped towards the metropolis one morning under a sunny sky, though the air outside was rather chilly. Winds swept from Lake Michigan into the city as the contestants crowded around the windows of their buses to check out the view.

"Wow!" Georgia yelped. "Look at all those skyscrapers..."

The towers of Chicago themselves seemed to reach up to brush the sky with their points. The buses took the exit off the I-90 and into the city. It looked like the day's challenge would be filmed in this huge city. On the sidewalks, businessmen and women bustled their way past the buildings, all perpetually checking their watches.

The buses descended deeper into the city, as the view around them became shrouded in the shadows of the tall monoliths. The buses, though they _had _been painted back to black after the previous challenge, _did_ arouse a great deal of interest from a couple of the tourists roaming the streets. In fact, by the time the contestants had arrived at their destination, the current rumor among the people of Chicago was that a "big movie production was coming to town". They weren't too far off the mark.

Eventually, the destination became clear; the buses were approaching none other than the official Chicago Theatre. Its sign was all lit, and seemed ready for a Broadway performance, despite the fact that this was not New York City. With a long, whining creak, the five buses all stopped in front of the structure. Chris was already waiting for them, wearing a nice set of shades and a bright smile.

"Good morning, contestants!" he greeted. "Welcome to Chicago! It's pretty big, huh?"

Nobody answered him, but simply took in the sights and smells of the big city. Chris then addressed the theater. "As you've probably figured out, today's challenge has to do with acting!" he yelled. "So... we've got a few friendly judges again. You all know Chef, but say hello to Blaineley again!"

Blaineley appeared with a confident smirk, gazing disapprovingly over the exactly two dozen contestants. "Hello, Chris," she greeted. "I see Team America is at least five hundred times better now."

Blaineley jerked her thumb towards Virginia, who stood all alone. "No, that's Team 'Virginia' now," Chris explained. "She's kind of the only one left."

"I can tell, Chris. _Thanks_," Blaineley said spitefully. "Whatever. Am I here to judge, or not?"

"You are!" Chris reassured. "I've just gotta tell these kids what their challenge is first. Ahem. Each team will be acting out a play!"

Everyone listened attentively to Chris now as he explained. "You may choose a preexisting play, or you can write one yourself! Just remember, you've only got an hour to prepare, and then we're gonna go ahead and start. Pretty simple! I expect to be _fully_ impressed at the end of all this."

He then waved a hand impatiently for the kids to follow him into the theater. "Let's go!" he shouted. "Haven't got all day, and this place is a _hell_ of a lot more expensive to rent than you'd think."

**10:02 AM.**

"Alright. So. Game plan, guys," New Mexico yelled, urging Team Victory to gather round. All the teams were selecting actors and preparing ideas for their play. "Washington, you got any idea on what we ought'a do for the script?"

Washington thought about it for a brief moment. "I suppose we could... do a _modified_ version of... Romeo and Juliet?" he suggested. "As in, one with a different ending. Who wants to play Jul-"

"I do!" California squealed, jumping up and down. Washington's eyebrows rose above his glasses, and consented. "Alright. California's Juliet. Who's going to be Romeo?"

"I wanna be the funny guy," Hawaii stated blankly. "The... that guy. Mercury... or whatever his name is."

Washington stared at Hawaii for a second before comprehending. "Oh! You mean Mercutio?" he said. "Yeah, you can be him. We still need a Romeo, though."

Reluctantly, Oregon raised his hand after glancing over California for a brief moment. "I'll do it..." he mumbled. "I like acting a lot."

"Okay. Sweet. So who'll play Rosaline...? And what about Tybalt and the other characters?"

As Team Victory hashed out the details of their play, Virginia was sort of awkwardly doing her own thing, perusing a few solo scripts she liked, when all of a sudden, North Dakota appeared at her side.

"Hi!" North Dakota exclaimed, extending a hand. "I'm North Dakota. It's _so_ nice to meet you."

Virginia glanced at North Dakota, a little surprised, but shook her hand regardless. "Okay. I'm Virginia. Nice... to meet you, too."

North Dakota smiled semi-sweetly, and looked over whatever Virginia was doing. "Oh, you're all alone on your team?" she asked, as though she hadn't even known. "That's a bummer. If you're up to it... I suppose, whenever the merge happens, you could join _my_ team..."

"Oh, well, that's really kind of you, North Da-"

And just like that, New York appeared at Virginia's side. "New York. Pleasure to meet you," he greeted Virginia. "Are you two... discussing something? Because... Virginia, you shouldn't trust her. If you want... after the merge, I could offer you a place on my team."

Virginia was a little annoyed to see New York butt in on her conversation like that, but held her tongue when she heard his word of warning. North Dakota shot him a deadly glare, yet stated happily, "Oh, don't mind _us_, New York. Go on back over to your team."

Virginia, now caught up in whatever North Dakota and New York were arguing about, quietly stepped away, and towards the box of costumes.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_117_mp3**

"Poor, poor Virginia, all alone on her team. Sure, she's probably relishing the fact that she's got no teammates to worry about, yes... but she'll have to pick a team when the merge happens. I'm just trying to get her on my _good_ side. New alliance members are _always_ welcome. We... _do_ get to pick teams during the merge... right? Because I'm kind of hinging all my plans on that fact and it'd kind of be lame if that's now how it'll work."

North Dakota

**10:38 AM.**

"Turn, step, one, two, three, _left_, one, two, three, _right_, one, two, three, _jazz hands_..."

Massachusetts was leading his team in figuring out choreography, which he claimed would help immensely with the visuals of their play. For now, they were doing a musical about a young lad arriving in Chicago months before the Great Depression, which they'd dug out of a sealed box behind some curtains. New York would be the manager, while Connecticut was assigned the role of the young lad, whose name was simply "Danny". It would be an intricate play, sure, but hopefully one that would gain a couple extra points in terms of style.

Meanwhile, Team Touchdown was having some unforeseen problems in production. Mississippi and Georgia were having trouble fitting into their dresses, which would play a big role in their play adaptation of Cinderella.

"It's too tight 'round the waist!" Mississippi whined, jumping up and down in her dress. "It won't _fit__!_"_  
_

"Yeah, well, you're gonna play Cinderella, so you might as well do it anyways," Texas reminded her. "Think we need to do rehearsals? We only got like twenty more minutes left."

"Nah, we don't gotta do rehearsals," Alabama claimed, dressed in a rather pompous, regal outfit. "It ain't like a football game. You don't gotta practice."

Texas shrugged. The logic seemed sturdy enough to him. The only person who wasn't okay with all this was Tennessee, who was sulking in the corner.

"I don't see why I gotta be one of the stepsisters," she pouted. "This is awfully biased of y'all-"

"Yeah, well, I don't see much support of what you've got to say, Tennessee," Alabama snapped suddenly. "You'll do what you're told be be hopeful that we'll let you back on our side."  
At that, Tennessee shrunk, yet gazed at Louisiana for support. Louisiana noticed Tennessee staring, and inched away with an incredibly guilty expression.

**10:56 AM.**

"Oh, swear not by the moon, the... inconstant moon," California explained, peering closely at a script with Oregon as Washington supervised. "That monthly changes in her circled orb, lest that thigh-"

"It's thy."

"-thy love prove likewise variable," California finished after stuttering slightly. Oregon cleared his throat nervously, and asked in character, "What shall I swear by?"

"Do not swear at all; or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self, which is the god of my ido... idalo... idolotry-"

"Idolatry," Washington corrected.

"-idolatry," California repeated, smiling slightly. Washington glanced over his script and marked a line through a section. "Okay, so here's where Rosaline comes in," he said. "This is the big turning point. Arizona, you're playing her, right?"

Arizona popped her head from behind a box of costumes she'd been rummaging through. "Oh! Are we rehearsing?" she asked, and stood. "Where's my part begin?"

Washington pointed at a highlighted section on her script. "Start there. Don't read the stage prompts-"

"Rosaline enters, and is shocked to see Romeo standing before-"

"Don't read the stage prompts. Just read the highlighted parts."

"Oh," Arizona mumbled, and squinted. "Romeo!" she cried. "Doth your weary legs seek a stroll? 'Tis a surprise to find thee wandering the courtyards of the house of Capulet!"

Oregon addressed Arizona, stating, "Ah, Rosaline. Hath mine correspondence arrived yet? Say no more; for I have found another to give my heart. Be gone."

Arizona read over her part quickly, and then said, "Romeo! Doth thine heart change allegiance so fluidly? It seemed but a moment ago thine eyes were set upon me! Surely I must be of some use to thine aching heart."

"But of what use art thou when the one I really love is near?" Oregon responded. "Lady Rosaline, forgive me, for I love another."

"Say it isn't so!"

"Indeed, Rosaline," Oregon confirmed after Arizona burst into a fit of silent giggles at her melodramatic line. "For I, Romeo of Montague, am in love with Juliet!"

"Ah... ahem, sorry," Arizona apologized. "Where were we? Oh... Rosaline stomps off in a fit of-"

"You don't say anything there. That's just a stage prompt," Washington informed her. "I think that's the last place you're in the play."

"Oh," Arizona said. "Alright. I'm gonna keep looking through the costumes."

Just then, Chris's magnified voice exploded from a bullhorn not far away. "_Time's up!_" he yelled. "_Put everything back in the boxes that you won't be using! Team Dakota, you're up first!_"

**11:09 AM.**

A stage was dimmed. A curtain parted.  
Four teenagers stood on stage, dressed in peasant attire. The lights were dimmed. Colorado, Oklahoma, Kansas, and Nebraska all stood side by side. And then they began to sing.

"_Day by day, night by night, we stand in North Dakota's light!_" they all chanted. "_She lights the way, each day by day, making all our lives right!_"  
Just then, South Dakota appeared from the side and onto the stage. "Good morrow, citizens!" she cried. "Our noble leader approaches! Make way, make way!"

North Dakota strode on stage, dressed in an elaborate set up of fine cloth and jewels. "Peasants," she simply addressed to the rabble. She then turned to her sister and asked, "How are things in the kingdom? I've heard the crop yield is much higher than that of the neighboring kingdoms."

"Oh, yes, mi'lady!" South Dakota exclaimed as the townspeople bowed before North Dakota. "Higher than ever! We've got more wheat than all the other kingdoms!"

"Good," North Dakota replied, surveying her "kingdom" approvingly. But then, South Dakota muttered, "However... there is a problem, Glorious Leader. A neighboring kingdom has declared war."

"Is that so?" North Dakota asked, seemingly amused. "Let me guess. The one that worships that American sport?"

"If only, Glorious Leader," South Dakota admitted. "If it were them, we would not have to worry at all. Nay, 'tis instead the Kingdom of Victory. Their leader has challenged you, mi'lady."

North Dakota sneered at the audience of around twenty contestants. Washington, who was sitting in the back row, furrowed his eyebrows a little. "Tell the Kingdom of Victory I said 'Good riddance!'," North Dakota cried. "They shall know true leadership!"

"Hear, hear!" the townspeople cried, raising their arms for North Dakota. And then, the lights dimmed briefly for a scene change.

"I love it," Blaineley whispered to Chris, sitting in the front row with Chef. "She's so independent."

The lights came on again, revealing North Dakota sitting on what appeared to be a plastic throne. Colorado appeared, though this time he was dressed in a military soldier's garb. "Glorious Leader!" he cried. "The Kingdom of Victory's regiment has approached the front gate! What are we to do?"

North Dakota sneered, and yelled, "Kill them all! Execute their leaders! Leave nothing for the vultures." To that, Colorado simply said, "As you wish, mi'lady," and left. For a brief moment, North Dakota simply sat on her throne, evidently looking "thoughtful", when South Dakota approached, smiling brightly. "North Dakota, excellent news," South Dakota claimed. "The Kingdom of Victory has surrendered! Their leader has been executed! We are to gain their territory! Oh, happy day!"

The ruler of the Kingdom of Dakota smirked. "All according to plan," North Dakota said. "Excellent work, my adviser. Tell the peasants they did well. May the Kingdom of Dakota live forevermore!"

North Dakota stood, and then bowed as the lights came on once more. That was the end of the play. Chris looked vaguely amused and impressed at the same time, while Blaineley appeared to adore North Dakota. "Not bad!" Chris yelled. "Not bad at all. Blaineley, you seem eager, what do you think?"

"Well..." Blaineley began, looking over the cast of North Dakota's play. "I think North Dakota did a terrific job in putting down the _lesser_ contestants. She certainly seems to have a hold on her team. I give her an eight!"

Chef shrugged. "Meh. It was short. But when we get outta here, we've got lunch, so short is _good!_ I give 'em a seven."

"I think I'm gonna have to give you guys a seven, too!" Chris acknowledged. "Which puts your total score at twenty-two! Impressive job. I liked it a lot. Thanks, Team Dakota! You're all done."

Chris wrote a few things down on his notepad, and then looked up. "Next, let's have... Team Touchdown!" he announced. "Team Touchdown, _come on up!_"

**11:57 AM.**

"And bippity-boppity-boo!" Georgia cried, waving a stick all around Mississippi. "You are now _fit to go to the ball!_ But remember, the spell wears off at midn-"

"Oh, thank you!" Mississippi cried, gasping at the magic. "Cinderella then runs to the ball to meet Prince Char-"

"_Y'all ain't supposed to say the stage directions!_" Texas whispered harshly from off stage. Mississippi's eyes went wide, and remembered. "Oh! Yes! I suppose I will do the thing that I just said!"

Chris face-palmed, yet didn't say anything. Mississippi skipped off-stage, and then the lights were dimmed. Moments later, they were turned on again, with Alabama standing in some incredibly pompous clothing and surrounded by the girls of Team Touchdown. "Oh, my!" he cried. "A beautiful woman is attending the ball!"

He was, of course, referring to Mississippi, who blushed deeply at her boyfriend's words. "Hi..." she murmured to Alabama. "Are you Prince Charmin'?"

"Why, yes I am," Alabama said. "We need to marry by the mornin'!"

Just then, the "clock", which was just Texas yelling "DONG" in the back ground, stuck midnight. Mississippi gave out an exaggerated gasp, and jumped away from Alabama. "I need to go!" she cried. She then purposely took off one of her shoes, dropped it on the ground, and yelled, "Hope I don't forget anythin' as I'm runnin' out!"

"Wait!" Alabama cried. "Your shoe! You left your shoe!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_118_mp3**

"I _loved_ playin' Cinderella! It was sooo fun. And... so _what_ if we lost? It don't matter that much!"

Mississippi

**12:05 PM.**

"To find out who was at the ball last night, I'm gonna have all the ladies in the village try on this shoe!" Alabama yelled. "While I do, I will ignore the fact that many dozens of girls could have the exact same shoe size as the woman I saw last night!"

Louisiana took the shoe from Alabama and attempted to try it on, only to find that it wouldn't fit at all. Georgia, now playing as an evil stepsister, went next, and had similar results. When Tennessee tried it on, it actually fit pretty well, but the cast all acted like it didn't. And then, it was Mississippi's turn to try on her shoe.

She eagerly took the "glass slipper", which was actually just a worn-down sneaker, and thrust it onto her foot. It did not fit. She started jiggling her foot around and ramming it harder into the shoe, but no matter what she did, it wouldn't go back in. Alabama was beginning to glance around awkwardly. It was no until half a minute later that he finally cried, "And Cinderella is proven to be the girl!"

Tennessee, Louisiana, and Georgia all cheered as the shoe dangled off the tip of Mississippi's foot. Georgia then cried, "And they lived happily ever after!"

A long silence followed her exclamation. Chris let out a long, long sigh. "Wow," he muttered. "That was... _something_. Uh... jeez, um... I guess I give it... a four? For effort?"

A dawning look of realization flooded into Mississippi's eyes. Chef frowned at Chris, and barked, "Well, I think they didn't do real good at all! They get a _two_ from me!"

It was now Blaineley's turn to sigh and stare blankly at the six contestants from Team Touchdown on stage. "Gonna have to go with a five here, but that's it," she said. "Not very impressive. Sorry, kids!"

Chris checked his watch, and did some basic mental math in his head. "That means Team Touchdown's total score is eleven!" he announced. "Ouch. Wonder if another team's gonna sink lower than that. Thanks, Team Touchdown. That... really was something. Let's have some Team Democracy next!"

**1:19 PM.**

"Mister Peabody!" Massachusetts cried, waving a newspaper around Connecticut's face. "Danny! Didn't you hear? They're closing down the oilery!"

"By Becquerel's ghost!" Connecticut yelled, staring at the paper. "Stock market's crashed? Unemployment's abound? Aaron, my friend, you know what this means... _another musical number!_"

A lot of people in the audience groaned at that. For almost the past hour, "Danny"'s journey into Chicago was mainly a lot of off-key singing and a ton of dancing. And now, music suddenly burst out of the loudspeakers once again.

"_We are the sons and daughters of a revolution, revolutionaries walking us out of oppression and into a no-low promise land,_" Connecticut sang.

"_And this is leaves us with a great sense of sadness dwelling inside our soul,_" Massachusetts then chimed. "_No one can explain where it's coming from or where its taking us!_"

And then, one by one, "flapper girls" emerged from behind the curtains; they were only Pennsylvania and Maine, however. All together, they all sang, "_We just know that something is lost, but somehow we are lost, lost! And this my friend, is the Great Depression!_"

The music began to dial down a little for the scene. "Well, Danny, what are we to do?" Massachusetts asked as the music continued in the background. "The oilery's closed! Rumor has it that Mister Nickels committed suicide over it! What's our next course of action, Danny?"

"I've got the brightest idea!" Connecticut declared. "We _siiing!_"

"Okay!" Chris yelled suddenly, throwing his hands up. "_Okay!_ No more! That's enough! _Thank_ you, Team Democracy! That was _really_ enlightening."

Connecticut seemed a little surprised. "But we're not even halfway through," he said blankly. When Chris heard that, his eyebrows seemed to go through the roof. "Which is why we should probably end this here, because it costs a _lot_ of money to rent this place on a weekend!" he yelled. "Judges! What are your scores? Personally, I give a seven just because it's well-rehearsed. Chef? What do you think?"

Chris glanced over at Chef, who seemed asleep. "Chef!" Chris yelled. "Wake up, dude! You gotta judge!"

Chef stirred sleepily. "Mmmnh. Six..." he murmured without even opening his eyes. "I say six... now lemme sleep, damn it..."

"Riiight..." Chris muttered, jotting something down on his notepad. "Gotcha. Blaineley? What are your thoughts?"

Blaineley shrugged, after looking up from her phone, upon which she'd apparently been playing Angry Birds. "I give an eight," she decided after a moment. "I like the Broadway-style performances. Too long, though."

"...putting Team Democracy's final score at twenty-one!" Chris declared. "Exactly one point below Team Dakota's score of twenty-two! So they've still got the lead, it looks like. Thank you, Democracy. You guys are done. Can we get Team America up here now?"

There was no response from the audience. Chris turned around in his seat to peer at the two-dozen contestants. "Team America! Where are you? We need you to - wait..."

Chris sighed exaggeratedly, and yelled, "Team _Virginia?_ You there?"

Only at that did Virginia stand. "I'm here!" she yelled. "I'm ready."

"Good. Head on up and _wow_ us with a one-woman show."

Virginia slowly made her way to the stage, and stood in front of the microphone, getting in character. This was her moment.

...

"I can't take it anymore," Virginia simply stated. "I was up every day at six. Every day. Up at six, take a shower, wake my baby brother Benny, make breakfast... something healthy... not sugary cereal. Sit down with Benny and mom for breakfast. Eat a tiny portion. Be sure to leave some on the plate. Always leave some on the plate..."

Virginia seemed to be going into a long-winded monologue about something that had to do with her life before her time on the show. "Get dressed into my school uniform," Virginia continued. "Kiss my mom goodbye. Make sure to give her a little something worth coming back home to. Check on Benny. Comb his hair. Pack his lunch. Wait with him for the bus. Hug him goodbye. Make sure that hug lasts all day long... that he feels your arms around her even at recess when the mean kids pick on him because their sisters don't hug them enough. Then let go. Watch him walk away, board the bus, and go to school."

"Choke back your tears. Taste the salt slide down the back of your throat. Climb on the bus to the high school. Find an empty seat. Keep to yourself. Always keep to yourself. Watch the trees of Richmond go by. Wonder what it'd be like to be somewhere else. A bus without so many people. One without so much drama. A bus... with only one person. Me."

Virginia paused solemnly for a moment, to let that sink in with everyone. "And then... I got my wish," she said. "A few months later, I got on a different bus. One with nine other people. Contestants, they were called. And... one by one... _they vanished_. And I'm the last one left. And that fact utterly _terrifies me_."

She stood in silence for about ten seconds, and then bowed.

...

Virginia received a ten from Chris, a ten from chef, and an eight from Blaineley because "the residues of Indiana still cling to the walls of that team. But good work regardless." Virginia was in first place now. Before she knew it, she was being led off the stage to be congratulated. And just seconds later, Team Victory climbed up to begin their edited version of Romeo and Juliet.

**2:01 PM.**

"Do not swear at all; or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self, which is the god of my idalo - idolotry," California recited to Oregon. Just then, Arizona walked on stage.

"Romeo!" Arizona cried. "Doth your weary legs seek a stroll? 'Tis a surprise to find thee wandering the courtyards of the house of Capulet!"

Oregon turned to Arizona, stating, "Ah, Rosaline. Hath mine correspondence arrived yet? Say no more; for I have found another to give my heart. Be gone."

Arizona then said, "Romeo! Doth thine heart change allegiance so fluidly? It seemed but a moment ago thine eyes were set upon me! Surely I must be of some use to thine aching heart."

"But of what use art thou when the one I really love is near?" Oregon asked approaching Arizona. "Lady Rosaline, forgive me, for I love another."

"Say it isn't so!" Arizona cried, a look of feigned shock on her face. Oregon grimly nodded to the audience, and confirmed, "Indeed, Rosaline. For I, Romeo of Montague, am in love with _Washington__!_"

There was a split moment of silence. Oregon's face contorted into that of absolute shock, terrified at what he'd just said. And then, Washington appeared from behind the curtain-

"Hark!" Washington cried, as Oregon looked even more horrified. "I, Tybalt of Capulet, approach. Doth thou speak the truth, Romeo? You love Lady _Juliet_, of Capulet?"

"I - no - I mean... yes! I love Juliet! My - my love resides with Lady Juliet!"

Washington brandished a "sword". "Fiend!" he cried. "You shall _not_ lay a hand on my fellow Capulet! A duel to the death, then!"_  
_

Arizona rapidly scooted over to Washington and harshly whispered, "_Washington!_ This isn't in the script! And did Oregon _just say_-"

"_Just go with it!_ Rosaline! Step away, before thy innocent apparel be soaked in the unworthy blood of this Montague scum named Romeo! Have at thee, fiend!"

Washington charged Oregon and "stabbed" him with the sword. Oregon fell, relieved to no longer play a part in the production. Washington stood victorious. "It is done!" he cried. "Romeo has fallen!"

"Boooo!" Chris yelled. "He's supposed to be the star!"

"Not anymore," Washington grimly claimed. "Mercutio! What do you make of your slain comrade?"

Hawaii ran onstage, staring in horror at what Washington had done. "_Washington!_" Hawaii whispered. "What are you _doing? _This isn't in the script! What do I _say?_"

"_Just improvise, Hawaii!_ What's that? You wish to duel with me, as well? Then I shall make thee a satisfied man this night!"

Washington then charged Hawaii with his sword, forcing Hawaii to retaliate with his own. They fought briefly, up until Washington was thrust back and onto the ground, faking a death. "Oh! Woe is me!" Washington cried. "My blood be at thine sword, wretched Mercutio! I have... _fallen_... curse thee, Mercutio!"_  
_

And then Hawaii improvised. "Juliet!" he called. "You alright?"

"I - wow - yes-"

"_California, we're improvising, just go with it._"

"_Okay!_"_  
_

"What's that?" Hawaii asked, leaning in. "You wanna _date me?_"

"I do?" California yelped, stunned. Hawaii nodded. "I, Mercutio, take the hand of Juliet!" he yelled to the audience. "And we lived happily ever after! The end."

This left the audience in a stunned silence. "A rendition of Romeo and Juliet where _Mercutio_ ends up with Juliet...?" Chris murmured. "Wow. I did _not_ see this one coming. Uh... I'm gonna need to get a second opinion here before I say anything... _Blaineley!_ What did you think?"

Blaineley narrowed her eyes at the stage. "It's obvious none of that was supposed to happen," she said thoughtfully. "But... they kept their cool and didn't stop the show. So I give them a seven."

Chris's eyebrows raised. "None of that was supposed to happen?" he asked. Hawaii gave a guilty nod from the stage. "Oh. Well, in that case," Chris began, "I give you guys a four! You made a mistake! Mistakes are _bad_ in the show business! Chef, what are your thoughts-"

"Five! I just wanna get outta here for _lunch_. These are the last guys, right?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Good." And with that, Chef stood up from his seat, and lurched towards the back door of the theater, leaving Chris with Blaineley and all the kids in the audience. "Well... guess that puts Team Victory at exactly sixteen!" Chris announced. "Which is _not_ the bottom score! So... good job?"

Washington glanced around, and noticed that Oregon had ran off stage somewhere, which was more than a little worrisome. But before he could act, Chris declared, "Into the buses, everyone! We've got a voting ceremony for Team Touchdown to carry out!" And with that, everyone was led back onto the buses without another word.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_119_mp3**

"I. _Hate_. Myself. I... _how_ could I have been so utterly _stupid?_ _Why_ did I say Washington? _Why?_ I mean... nobody really reacted to it but him, but... I feel like I'm gonna be sick. This was _never_ supposed to happen. He was _never_ supposed to know. Nobody was! I bet... I bet he thinks I'm just some... some _loser_ who can't keep his mouth shut or something. I... oh, god... I bet he won't even talk to me anymore... man, _fuck this._ I hate this show."_  
_

Oregon

**7:03 PM.**

"Hmmm!" Chris mused, looking over the entirety of Team Touchdown under the light of a near-full moon. "Let's see here... a team of five people in an alliance... and _one person who isn't in that alliance_. Hmmm. Wonder who's gonna be the one to go home tonight!"

Everybody avoided Tennessee's glare. Chris grinned bemusedly, and consulted his notepad. "When I call your name, you get a snack! We've been sponsored by Golden Flakes recently, sooo... all I've got are all these chips. But sponsorships are good, so don't complain. If you _don't_ get a bag, then you go home! Simple as that. Alabama! Georgia! Louisiana, and Texas! No votes for any of you!"

A bundle of chips were thrown their way. Already, it was down to Mississippi and Tennessee. "Mississippi lost the challenge for you all!" Chris reminded. "But Tennessee has been a long-time dissenter to the team. You should've gotten friendly with Florida, Tennessee! But regardless. The final bag of chips... goes to..."

...

...

...

"Mississippi! Two votes!"

Mississippi gasped, and caught the bag of Barbecue Kettle Chips gratefully, forcing Tennessee to stand determinedly. Louisiana's face fell. "See you guys later. I guess..." Tennessee mumbled, and walked off towards the bus to retrieve her things. Chris stared at her as she left. "Hope you had a fun time, Tennessee!" he yelled. "Come back soon! Hah! Just kidding. You're never coming back on this show again."

Tennessee retrieved her things, and faced her dwindling team one last time. "Thanks... to the person who didn't vote for me," she muttered, eyeing Louisiana thankfully. "It's... been an alright journey, I guess."

With that, Tennessee strode off towards the awaiting taxi, shivering in the cold on her way there. And just like that, Team Touchdown was brought down to five contestants; exactly half of what it'd started with.

**9:50 PM.**

"Oregon! Wait. Please talk to me."

"No!"

A door slammed. Washington was left alone in the hall of the bus.

"You know that's my bunk room, too, Oregon. Please let me in."

There was a pause, and then the door was slowly opened. Oregon's face emerged. It was clear he'd been crying for a while.

"What do you _want_, Washington?"

Washington entered slowly, keeping his gaze set on Oregon. "I just want to talk," he quietly murmured. "It's clear there's a lot on your mind, Oregon... I just feel like you should... let some of it out."

Oregon groaned, and wiped his eyes furiously. Though he was usually the optimistic, fashionable motivator, he was evidently going through something of a breakdown. With a small sob, he leaned against the wall and refused to look at Washington.

"Please. Let me talk to you, Oregon," Washington insisted. "You're... clearly going through a lot. And I understand. But... I also want to protect you. You're thinking about a lot, right now, and-"

"How would _you know what it's like?_" Oregon snapped, fresh tears streaming. "You're - _you're Washington!_ You've got - got _everything under control!_ Always! No wonder you're the leader of our group, even though you _are_ gay! And - and you're always so - so _unafraid_ and so _calm_ in telling people what you're thinking, and so... so fluid in the way you speak, and - and - I..."

Oregon looked down at the floor, voice trailing off. Washington stared at him seriously. "I'm here to listen, Oregon."

...

"What do you _want_ from me, Washington?"

"Oregon. I support you. I support you as a _human being_ and what you're feeling and... and I don't want to see another person get hurt. I want you to succeed. I want to _protect you_. Everything I've done has been for you. I wanted to befriend you. I wanted you... I wanted you to like me."

...

Washington drew closer to Oregon, whose tear-stained eyes seemed to be giving way to Washington's gaze. "We all have to face ourselves some day," Washington reminded. "We have to be true to ourselves. People will _accept you_ for who you are, and who you're attracted to, Oregon-"

"No, they _won't!_"

"_I do!_ I know Arizona does! And your friends do! This isn't something that you need to hide from yourself. It is perfectly okay. And whatever happens... I'll protect you."

A brief pause. Oregon did not respond.

"Oregon. Are you gay or not?"

"I - _no_ - I mean - _kind of_ - just... it's... Washington, it's complicated, okay? You're - you're _happy_ to be honest about yourself. I get it. You already came out when you were a Sophomore. But... this is a big _deal_, Washington... I don't know if I can..."

Washington was less than a foot from Oregon now, and put a hand on his shoulder. "We all have to confront our identities no matter what, Oregon," he murmured. "You can either try to run from it... or concede to it. And aren't you tired of running?"

A split second, and then-

The two kissed, pressing against the wall, locking lips passionately in one of the most shocking moments in national televised history. Oregon gasped slightly, and the two fell onto the bed, revealing Arizona standing in the open doorway with an absolutely stunned, transfixed expression as to what she was witnessing. The two didn't notice her.

And then, slowly, quietly, she stepped out, and softly closed the door on the two.

******ELIMINATED:** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, and Tennessee.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO:** Curcle, weeaboopunk, Winkie4, and Guest!

**aspiringAnimator** - That's right. I just ended the episode on a scene about two guys making out. That is how I roll. And hey! I released a chapter on a SATURDAY! That hasn't happened since, like, August!

No news today, apart from the fact that I came out as bisexual to my parents. And also you guys just now. I really hope that doesn't turn some of you guys away from this story. But... with a cast of like FIFTY CONTESTANTS? The ratio of gay to straight is like one to ten, right? There's gotta be a few queers in there. So... it'd seem almost unfair and probably dishonest to not include at least one LGBT pairing.

My Youtube channel is still totally a thing! Check it out via my profile, maybe? Also, it'd be super awesome to get some of your reactions to these chapters (and especially this one) through reviews! Do you like it? Does it bother you? Don't worry, the fic is still staying completely clean of sexual anything apart from a reference or two. Maybe I'll write a separate spin-off that goes more into depth on their encounter. Who knows?

Anyways. Read, review, favorite, and follow! The two R's and the two F's. Keep 'em in mind!


	29. The Second Civil War

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - **(**New York and Pennsylvania**)**, Connecticut, Maine, and Massachusetts.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota.

**Team Virginia** - Virginia.

**EPISODE 28: THE SECOND CIVIL WAR**

_"You sabotaged the team." - Massachusetts_

**Sunday, October 5th, 2014. Chicago, Illinois. 4:15 AM.**

Five buses rolled out of Illinois, heading south. The morning sun still hadn't arisen yet. Everybody rested sound asleep. Except for one contestant.

Oregon. Currently, he was lying in bed with Washington, who was sound asleep. Yet... Oregon's thoughts seemed to permeate everything around him.

_I slept with a guy._

_Oh, my god, I slept with a GUY._

_When did my life come to this...?_

Oregon stirred slightly, and nestled his head into a slightly comfier position on the pillow.

_I mean... it was, wow... amazing, but... still._

_I slept with a GUY._

_Well... I always have known I liked guys... for a long, long time... but I never thought I'd actually be with one. Or that I'd admit it. Especially not on TV. Wait - oh, GOD! I slept with a guy ON TV. No, no, no... oh, Jesus, everybody at home knows now. I really hope Chris cuts out that footage. I can't let him publish that! That was private! That was me and Washington! Ugh. Knowing Chris... he's definitely keeping at least something in._

_Okay... so... everybody knows I'm gay. And, wow, not only that, but I'm a bottom, too. Everybody's going to treat me differently now! All of my friends back home... probably won't like me anymore. I mean... sometimes I was teased for being a little girly sometimes, but they never legitimately thought I liked dudes! This is really, really bad... if I could have just... I don't know... run out of the room, then maybe I'd be in a better situation..._

Oregon lifted his head slightly, and glanced at Washington's sleeping form. Washington still had his glasses on. _But... if I did that... I wouldn't be with Washington... and he's just so... I don't know...__  
_

_Sophisticated? Not... the best words to describe him... but sort of true..._

_Cute? Yes. And... really nice to talk to... ugh, I sound like some thirteen-year-old girl gushing all over some guy. But it's so true! It's no wonder everyone respects him so much. At least on our team. We're basically the only team that hasn't gone through a rebellion or a split up._

_I... really hope my relationship with him isn't really... awkward at first. I kind of want this to last. I've never had a boyfriend before. Or a girlfriend, for that matter. Does he seriously like me? Why? I'm Oregon. Nobody's ever liked me before. I don't even know why I got selected to be on this show. All I did for my audition was make a two minute video for why I should be accepted. And I just happened to get on the same team with him..._

_I never expected to win this thing. Then again, I never expected to... to have a boyfriend? I'm not even sure what we are. But I know I need to be by his side. He seems to have the game under control._

**Wednesday, October 8th, 2014. Memphis, Tennessee. 9:18 AM.**

The five buses, after about half a week of travel, were nearing their destination of Memphis, Tennessee. Cool October winds drafted through the hills leading up to the city. Along the riverbank, the sleepy Mississippi River slowly meandered its way downstream.

There was still business to settle on the buses, though. The merge was scheduled to happen in less than a few weeks, and contestants were preparing. Some were terrified out of their minds, fearful of being forced to leave some of their teammates and meet completely different people. Others... were a little more excited to finally be getting out of their team for once. Everything depended on how Chris planned on joining everyone together. Would the twenty contestants be merged into one team of finalists, or would it be two teams? Or three? And if so, what would be the deciding factors in which team you got in? Did contestants get to choose?

Unfortunately, all of these questions wouldn't be answered for quite some time. For now, New York was intent on securing a spot past the merge.

As a bright sun shined through the bus windows, New York approached Massachusetts, who just seemed to be watching TV on the couch. Luckily, there was nobody else in the room. Massachusetts glanced at New York and simply gave a small wave.

New York sat next to Massachusetts, looking a little concerned. "Massachusetts?" New York asked. "We've got a problem."

Massachusetts sat up, a little interested. "What is it? Is the microwave broken again-"

"No, of course not," New York disclaimed quickly. "It's... something else. It's Connecticut."

For a moment, Massachusetts simply stared at New York. "What?" he asked. "What'd he do?"

"I think he's conspiring against the team. In the event that we had a voting ceremony, I'm looking to have your supp-"

"No. York? _No_. Tell me what Connecticut did, or I'll think you're lying to me."

Massachusetts stared at New York with a determined glare. New York fidgeted nervously, and stammered, "Well - well, I mean - that's just sort of the - the kind of... feeling... I got from... um, him..."

This didn't fly at all with Massachusetts, who crossed his arms and eyed New York suspiciously. "New York, whatever you're planning," Massachusetts warned, "I don't want a part of it. And I swear, if you think you'll get away with pulling down Connecticut, then-"

"No, Massachusetts, you don't understand. Let me expl-"

"I _mean_ it, York. We're all a _team_. I know you're probably scared right now about what's going to happen to all of us. but _sabotage_ is _not_ the solution."

It took a few seconds for New York to recuperate from that blow. New York took a deep breath, and muttered, "Massachusetts, I know what this must look like, but... really. Just... _please_ trust me. Forget what I said about Connecticut. Just... I just want people to have my back at the end of all this..."

Massachusetts's expression softened slightly at that. "New York, I'm your _friend_," Massachusetts explained. "You don't need an 'official alliance member' to get someone to have your back. We can get through this as a _team_. There's no need for all this cloak-and-dagger nonsense. Alright?"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_120_mp3**

"I don't know _what_ New York is planning. In my opinion... he just seems really scared, though I know he doesn't want to show it. When he wanted to keep New Jersey in the game, he was thinking about the team, but now... he's just thinking about saving his own skin. He sees our team as, like, a sinking ship that he's gotta get off of before we all die. But that's not true! We're all friends on this team, and if we do our best, we shouldn't have to even _worry_ about losing a challenge."

Massachusetts

**9:41 AM.**

The city of Memphis rose all around the twenty-three contestants. As the sun rose, so did the temperature, creating a sort of dewy, muggy atmosphere that wasn't entirely pleasant to walk around in. Still, though, everyone was in a brand new city, and was thus excited to start the day's challenge.

"'Mornin', contestants!" Chris greeted, wearing a light coat and a bright grin. "Welcome to Memphis, Tennessee! I will be your host this lovely day! And no, Blaineley is _not_ here."

Relieved sighs were exchanged for a few moments. Blaineley's intrusion on quite a few of the recent challenges was something that was despised widely by almost everyone. Chris chuckled a little, and asked, "You all remember that Civil War challenge we did? Back in West Virginia?"

Nobody responded, of course, but a few tiny nods went around. It was one of the more memorable challenges. "Well," Chris began, "We're going to be doing it _one more time_. Except _this_ time, it'll be in a very urban setting, instead of a town!"

Nervous anticipation took hold of many of the contestants. Memories of being shot, and then falling unconscious for almost an hour still permeated in most of their minds. Chris stared at everyone seriously, and explained, "Now, this time, yes, we've got permission to do this for an hour over the area of a few blocks. So _remember_. Don't stray too far. I'll be keeping in touch with all of you. Now, for the guns..."

He then kicked open a few chests that were at his feet, revealing large piles of air-soft guns. "Same rules this time around!" Chris shouted. "The pellets have an anesthetic coating, so if you get hit, you'll fall unconscious for an hour or two. Each team has one territory, and can conquer _or_ liberate other territories. If they conquer it and hold onto it until the end of the game, everyone from that team gets to use their cell phones for a day. If they liberate a territory, then they get a day regardless of how many territories they own at the end. At the end of the game, if your team does _not_ own any territories, including your original, you go to the voting ceremony! So _yes_. This has potential to cause multiple eliminations to go down tonight."

Chris smiled again. "You've got ten minutes to get to your territories!" he announced, and tossed out five maps to each of the teams. "Marked on your maps are where you'll be located. Try _not_ to get lost, alright? You'll all hear from me in a few!"

**9:56 AM.**

"_MARCH!_"

The Dakotan Dynasty rapidly made its way to its designated station, which was actually the roof of an apartment building near the river. North Dakota led her troops. South Dakota strode at her side.

"You all remember how everything went down last time!" North Dakota declared. "Keep those tactics in mind, soldiers! But remember, things are going to be a little different this time around! Instead of nine troops, Team 'America' now has only one. All the other teams are cut down, too. And above all that, everyone _else_ will have learned from their previous mistakes. Team Democracy will be on their guard more. Virginia won't be likely to ally with anyone. Washington... will be more cautious. Understood?"

"_Yes, Glorious Leader!_" Oklahoma, Colorado, Kansas, and Nebraska all chanted. South Dakota rolled her eyes as North Dakota smirked, and pointed to the designated building. "Up ahead. Keep a lookout. Right when the challenge begins, we could be instantly ambushed..."

**9:58 AM.**

A slightly weary Team Victory was trudging to their designated location, which was a long-deserted dance club located on a wide avenue. Clearly, the prospect of possibly losing another war-based challenge was not too exciting to most of them. Washington and Oregon were a ways behind the others, and though nobody else could see it, the two were holding hands. Oregon, in particular, appeared vaguely embarrassed and somewhat amused at the same time. For the past three days or so, it was hard to find a moment when the two weren't together. Hawaii had noticed this.

Casting a wayward glance behind him, Hawaii yelled, "Yo! Washington! You comin'?"

Washington suddenly looked up at the sound of his name, and stepped away slightly from Oregon. "Oh! Yeah!" he called. Hawaii's eyebrows raised slightly at the two. He then turned to California and muttered, "Hey, Callie... d'you know what's up with Washington and Or-"

"Oh!" Arizona suddenly cried, interrupting Hawaii. "I - I mean," shes stuttered, when she received stares. "I mean, they're just - just friends. They've always been... friends. Best friends! Whee!"

Hawaii stared suspiciously at Arizona for a couple more seconds, and then rolled his eyes and didn't question any further. They were approaching their destination.

Right as the six entered the empty night club, a deafening cry shouted from far away, magnified electronically, "_This is Chris! The game begins... now! You have one hour!_"

"So..." New Mexico mumbled, after the six simply waited cautiously at the entrance of their base and carrying assault rifles. "What's... the plan, Washington?"

"Ummm..." Washington mused, thinking. "I guess... well, last time, our mistake was attacking too early, and with too few people. So I say we wait it out until a good opportunity to do something."

"Yeah!" Oregon agreed, inspecting his two air-soft pistols. "Hey, Washington, can you help me figure out how to use these...? They're kind of stuck..."

"Sure."

A few moments went by without any noise heard from any of the other territories. What was going on elsewhere...?

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_121_mp3**

"People are probably wondering, so... I might as well address why I'm dating Oregon now. Not that anybody knows, I just thought I should tell the audience. When I first went into these games, I wasn't planning on getting involved with _anybody_. At all. It would just be pure, objective strategy towards my goals. But... I don't know. My priorities have changed, I guess. It's... not as much about winning anymore. It's about... helping Oregon. I see something in him. I can honestly see him getting to the finals if he plays his cards right. Hah. I sound insane right now, probably."

Washington

**10:03 AM.**

"Alright! Here's the game plan, y'all!"

Texas led the five remaining members of Team Touchdown. At his side was Alabama. "We're gonna march on down an' _take Team Democracy!_" Texas cheered. "Last time, we didn't do _nothin'_ until Team Dakota did that. This time, we're gonna have the upper hand."

The five all cheered at that as they moved through the deserted streets of Memphis, Tennessee, to Team Democracy's location, which was located in an abandoned warehouse near the river. Currently, no team had made a move yet, so evidently, Team Touchdown was the only one trying anything.

"Hey," Louisiana suddenly suggested, "why don't we try to take over Team America? Er... Team 'Virginia'? It's only her. It'd be pretty easy."

"Well, 'cause I'm the leader, that's why," Texas reminded her, smiling a little too nicely. "An' cause I say we attack Team Democracy. We already know one of 'em's gay."

"Uh, that's Massachusetts," Georgia suddenly piped up, "and he's bisexual, not g-"

"Shut up," Texas warned. "Good 'nough reason to attack 'em anyways. Where are we?"

The five suddenly stopped, looking around. They stood in an intersection that was completely devoid of any cars going through. Alabama peered around, as his girlfriend clutched his arm, and suddenly pointed off towards the river. "There!" he yelled. "That's a warehouse, ain't it?"

They all stared at what he was pointing at. "I think so!" Texas announced. "Alright! Now we just gotta get the jump on 'em... be real careful, now. I doubt they wanna make some of the same mistakes they did last time..."

Team Touchdown carefully made its way towards the warehouse, raising their guns as they approached. The door opened, and then-

PAP-PAP-PAP-PAP-PAP-

Pennsylvania was shot in the head, but not before squeezing out a few shots from her gun. One of them hit Mississippi in the arm.

"Ow!" she squealed. "I got... _shot!_"_  
_

She began to stumble, and then, without so much as a tiny little yelp, she collapsed onto the ground. Alabama was horrified, but Texas dragged him on. "Come on! They still got people in there!" Texas shouted, firing his rifle into the warehouse. Pandemonium ensued.

...

When it was all over, every single contestant from Team Democracy was unconscious and on the floor. From Team Touchdown, both Mississippi and Texas had been struck in the fray. The two were laid down on the floor, leaving only Alabama, Louisiana, and Georgia to defend their two entire territories.

"_Team Touchdown has just captured Team Democracy's territory!_" a voice cried from far away. Alabama grimaced at the noise, and muttered, "We'd... better do our best to hold onto these. Georgia... you head on back and guard our original territory. This... isn't gonna be pretty."

**10:16 AM.**

_Okay. So. The southerners, for some reason, have decided to avoid taking me out. Weird. But okay. Maybe they still remember our alliance back in this challenge like... like twenty episodes ago. Wow. That's loyalty right there._

Virginia darted about the rooftops, keeping an eye on the park she was supposed to be guarding. She simply had a sniper rifle in hand, and was prepared to take out any team foolish enough to come close to it.

_This is a good spot. It's just a matter of time before a team decides to come my way, and I doubt they're going to be too friendly about it..._

A sudden flurry of movement caught her eye. She squinted down below, and took aim.

Five figures were rapidly making their way across the park furtively, all glancing around rapidly and taking position. Virginia cursed under her breath, and lined up her shot.

PAP. Kansas fell. "She's here!" North Dakota screamed, stepping back and looking all around. "She's here - _take cover!_"

More shots were fired from high up above. Oklahoma took cover behind a car and took a few blind shots towards the rooftops, yet didn't anything. After almost half a minute had passed, in which Virginia terrorized them all with more warning shots, North Dakota cried, "Fall back! _Fall back!_ We're heading back, everyone!"

And just like that, Team Dakota quickly retreated away from the park, leaving only Virginia on the roof with a smug little grin. "Yeah... keep on runnin'..." she muttered to herself.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_122_mp3**

"Damn it. I knew I never should'a trusted her... sweet talkin' her way to get me to like her like that. No, North Dakota, I _don't_ think I'm gonna be wantin' to join your team anytime soon anymore."

Virginia

**10:20 AM.**

"That sneaky-ass _bitch_..." North Dakota growled as her team sped away from Virginia's territory. South Dakota glanced at her sister warily, and mumbled, "Um, sis... language..."

"This is a reality show. I'm sure the producers will just _love_ a little extra bad-mouthiness," North Dakota stated, not really seeming to care. "Whatever. She took out Kansas. He's _always_ the first to fall..."

"I'm sure he tried his best..." Nebraska reminded, but was cut off with a glare from North Dakota. "I didn't _ask_ you to _speak_, Nebraska," North Dakota snapped. "We need a plan. Something. Obviously, Team Virginia isn't the best place to raid right now..."_  
_

"Didn't Team Touchdown take out Team Democracy a while ago?" Oklahoma wondered. North Dakota glanced curiously at Oklahoma, and responded, "...yes. They did. What about it?"

"Well..." Oklahoma began, looking over North Dakota cautiously, "maybe... we could take one of the territories Team Touchdown has right now. Their team only has, like, five people... spread over two territories... it'd be worth a shot, at least..."

North Dakota considered Oklahoma's proposition. "Okay," North Dakota eventually decided, nodding. "Okay, Oklahoma. But if this screws up, then it's on you."

"Of course, Glorious Leader."

The five carefully made their way towards the territory Team Touchdown had captured, which seemed to be an abandoned warehouse near the river. It wasn't too far away from Team Dakota's base, so an easy retreat could be employed if necessary. As a pale white sun rose higher and higher into the sky, they all crept closer to the front entrance, around which several unconscious bodies were scattered, ominously enough. South Dakota peeked inside.

Alabama was sitting on a box, mindlessly running his hand over his assault rifle. The only other person in the room was Georgia, who seemed to be inspecting the walls.

South Dakota withdrew her head, and turned to her four awaiting teammates. "Well?" North Dakota questioned. "Who's in there?"

"It's just the ginger country dude and some girl," South Dakota explained, glancing around nervously. "I think the girl's his girlfriend, but I'm not sure-"

"Ohhh, _yes_," North Dakota murmured, interrupting her sister. "They've only got two people guarding it. Excellent. Now's our chance. I'll take out - take out _Alabama_, was his name. You all blast on the other one. Come on, let's do this before another team decides to invade here."

With a swift move, North Dakota whirled around the door, and fired three rounds from her rifle right at Alabama. Each one rapped him in the head, and he fell. Georgia screamed and started running.

"_Shoot her!_" North Dakota screamed. Nebraska started running to catch her, but tripped over Connecticut's unconscious form. It was only with the swift accuracy of a blast from Colorado that took Georgia down.

A loud voice suddenly boomed, "_Team Dakota has captured Team Democracy's original territory from Team Touchdown! Team Dakota, please raise your hands if you would like to liberate this territory!_"

Of course, nobody raised their hands, and a few moments later, Chris's voice cried, "_Team Dakota has captured Team Democracy's territory! They now control two total territories!__ Just in time, too, because it is now half-way into the game!_"

Everyone in Team Dakota but Nebraska cheered for their victory. South Dakota noticed him still lying on the ground where he'd tripped. "Hey!" she yelled. "Nebraska, come on, get up."

He mumbled something incomprehensible as his head thudded onto the ground. North Dakota walked up and swiftly kicked him in the stomach, to which he did not react. "What the hell's his deal?" she asked. "He didn't get shot."

South Dakota crouched down to inspect his body as everyone looked on. "Hmm..." she murmured to herself. "It... it looks like he landed on a pellet... right here..."

True to her word, imprinted into Nebraska's cheek was the shape of a pellet. The anesthetic coating must have seeped into his skin, regardless of the fact that he didn't get shot. "Oh, damn..." North Dakota muttered. "Okay, everyone, _don't touch the pellets_ with your bare hands. Got it?"

**10:41**

"I'm telling you guys, North Dakota's gonna win if we all just sit around here doing nothing," Hawaii warned his team as they all sat at a booth in the night club. Currently, most of the players still "alive" in the game were either from Team Dakota of Team Victory. In any case, it seemed all too likely that the "unstoppable force of Team Dakota" would come marching their way any minute.

Washington seemed to be mulling over the problem for a while. "Yeah..." he murmured, sitting closely beside Oregon on the cushioned seat. "It's a problem. We could try to attack. I feel certain we're the team with the most people still alive..."

"I think we should attack!" New Mexico announced, sunglasses reflecting the multicolored lights in the club. "It's not like they won't keep attacking everyone else! And even if we lose... we'll be heroes for standing up to North Dakota."

Arizona smiled brightly, impressed at her boyfriend's determination on the matter. "I have to agree," she added. "North Dakota is... psychotic, from what I hear. Or something. We need to do something, and we're the best team for the job, I think."

Washington sighed a little defeatedly. "Yeah. Okay," he acknowledged. "Okay, fine. But if we're gonna do this, then we need to move out _now_. Is this alright with everyone?"

He received a number of determined little nods. Washington returned one, and then stood from the booth, declaring, "Then we move out. Come on, everyone. And don't underestimate her. She's a _lot_ smarter than you'd think."

The six headed out of the night club and into the surprisingly bright sun of Memphis. As the day currently stood, Team Democracy alone would be going to the voting ceremony, but that had the possibility of changing soon.

A siren wailed far in the distance as they all neared Team Democracy's warehouse, rifles at the ready. Oklahoma stood outside the front door, eyes peeled for any trouble. However, with a flick of his wrist, Washington prompted Arizona to take her out with a single shot from her sniper rifle, expelling the pellet that would hit her straight in the head.

CRACK. Oklahoma fell. "Go, go, go!" Hawaii whispered, and the six ran forward towards the warehouse. Instantly, two figures rushed out of the warehouse, guns raised, ready to fire-

PAP-PAP. With just two shots, California was taken out. Hawaii yelped, horrified, right up until pellets whizzed over his head. "Get _down!_" Washington yelled, firing shots wildly towards the two figures. More pellets came flying. New Mexico took a calculated aim and shot at one of the figures; Colorado went down. The other figure went running back inside.

"_Forward!_" Washington cried, leading his four other remaining teammates. They rushed ahead, sprinting towards the warehouse with all their might, and burst into the doors. They were shocked to find North Dakota standing in the middle of the warehouse, hands in the air with nothing else to defend herself with.

"Okay! You _got_ me!" she yelled. "I surrender."

Oregon began lowering his gun, but Washington yelled, "Keep your weapons up. Don't trust her."

"Ohhh, _Washington_," North Dakota sighed. "You fail to recognize that I am completely helpless right now! You may as well accept my surrender. Come on. We're friends, Washington!"

Washington seemed a little taken aback at this. "Is that so?" he asked. "Because I remember a time just a few months ago when we surrendered to _you_, North Dakota. And... hmm... back _then_, I remember getting shot _immediately after_. New Mexico, Hawaii, does that ring a bell with you two?"

New Mexico and Hawaii both remembered the incident quite clearly. North Dakota stepped back a bit, and defensively said, "Well, okay, but that was _necessary_, Washington. Surely _you_ know how it is."

Washington didn't answer her. Her gaze drifted from him to the guy standing next to her. Oregon. "Oh," she remarked casually. "It looks like you have a boyfriend."

Oregon gasped. There was a silence that probably lasted for longer than it should have. Washington finally replied, "My advice for you, North Dakota, is to watch your step."

Another brief silence.

"Shoot her."

At that, a sudden shower of gunfire rained upon them all. Hawaii fell. Washington fell. New Mexico fell. A flurry of movement, concentration, and then-

PAP. North Dakota was shot in the head by Arizona. Up above, gunfire continued to spray; someone was attacking.

"_Fuck!_" Arizona cried, ducking down. The only other person from Team Victory who _wasn't_ shot unconscious was Oregon, who cowered behind a box without a weapon. "Oregon! _Run!_" Arizona screamed, and he obeyed. Arizona then ducked out of cover, and took aim, and shot at their assailant.

Colorado fell, gun clanging down beside him. He had been standing on a metal catwalk high above, near the roof of the warehouse. With that, Arizona stood victorious. She'd defeated Team Dakota. As far as she knew, anyway.

POP. Arizona was then shot in the side of the head. She squeaked, and fell onto the ground without another word. Louisiana nervously looked over her body, and verified that she'd actually made the shot.

"_Team Touchdown has captured Team Democracy's original territory back from Team Dakota!_" a voice cried. "_Team Touchdown, please raise your hand if you would like to liberate this territory!_"

A pause. And then, Louisiana raised her hand.

"_Well, too bad, Team Touchdown, because we're all out of time. Interns! Administer the wake-up drug to everyone!_"

And thus ended the most confusing challenge in the show so far.

...

In the end, South Dakota was actually still alive on Team Dakota. She just happened to be running away from everything. Oregon was sprinting away from the warehouse, so that meant Team Victory was still in the game. Virginia had simply camped on top of a building with a sniper rifle, and secured her continued place in the game. At the very end, Louisiana tried to release Team Democracy from the clutches of domination, but it was too late. Team Democracy would, in fact, be the team going home that night.

**2:44 PM.**

"What... _happened?_"

Massachusetts awoke on Team Democracy's couch. Their bus sped away from Memphis, Tennessee, and towards a more secluded location for the voting ceremony.

"Well. We _lost_," New York seethed. "We got taken over by Team Dakota. Then Team Victory tried to take us. And then Team Touchdown tried to take us. Long story short, we're the _only_ team that lost its territory."_  
_

Massachusetts groaned, and fell onto his back, landing on the couch cushions. "This sucks..." Massachusetts muttered. New York nodded in agreement. "It does. And it's all thanks to _one person_."

At that, Massachusetts sat up, curious. "Who?" he asked.

"Connecticut. I saw him shoot Maine _right in front of me._ It was right when, um, we were all getting shot in the warehouse."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_123_mp3**

"Okay. I... I told a lie, so what? It was _necessary_. Connecticut... just happens to be collateral damage. It's all for the greater good. I mean who do you think has a better chance of winning, me, or Connecticut? Now, I'm _not_ a bad guy, everyone. I'm really not. But I have to stay in the game! This money means a _lot_ to me, and if I have to push Connecticut out of the way, then that's just something I'll have to cope with. I'm... sorry, dude."

New York

**2:46 PM.**

Massachusetts blinked in response. "_What?_" he asked. "_Connecticut_ did - I - _really?_"

New York nodded solemnly. "But _why?_" Massachusetts asked. "That doesn't make any sense! Why would he do that?"

Massachusetts only received a sad shrug. "Who knows?" New York asked. "I think he might dislike her for... something she must have done. Either way, he's going against the team."

Massachusetts was still speechless for a few moments. "I can't believe it..." Massachusetts murmured. "_Really?_ Hold on, I'm gonna go talk to him-"_  
_

His arm was grabbed by New York. "_No!_" New York insisted. "_Stay_. He'll just tell you lies. Just... _trust_ me on this, Massachusetts. Alright?"

A slight hesitation. Massachusetts nodded his head. "Alright..." he responded. "Okay. I trust you on this, New York."

**6:59 PM.**

Nightfall. Team Democracy's bus was parked in a wide field. A full moon dominated the sky, shining its bright blue light over all. A chilly wind swept through the grasses, and eventually coming to meet Chris, who stood before a gathering of five contestants.

"Hello, Team Democracy!" Chris greeted, grinning bemusedly. "It's fun to see you kids here again. I'm predicting a _lot_ of drama to go down with this team soon."

Cautious glances swept around the area. The unmistakable feeling of tension seemed to permeate into the air. The team was starting to break down. Chris frowned a little at the lack of a reaction, and simply said, "When I call your name, you get a snack! All kinds of stuff today. If you don't get a snack, then you board that waiting taxi over there and ride to the nearest airport to take you home. Capiche?"

Nobody responded. Chris sighed. "Y'know, it's hard to be a host when you kids won't answer me sometimes," he lamented. "It's hard and nobody understands. Maine! No votes."

She caught a bag of gummy worms thrown her way, and sighed in relief. Chris eyed the others, and then yelled, "Massachusetts! You too. No votes. You get a 'Moon Pie'. Whatever that is."

A small packaged chocolate marshmallow cake was thrown at Massachusetts, who took it without question. Another snack was thrown towards Pennsylvania, who received no votes, according to Chris. Which left everything down to New York and Connecticut. The two eyed each other with suspicion.

"One of you is a... uh... _fan favorite_ of a certain annoying stalker!" Chris yelled. "Who will not cease phoning the show on why she can't be allowed in for another season. Even though we keep _telling her_ to _stay away_. The other is seen by some as the leader of Team Democracy! Oh, wait, he's not your leader, he's your _friend_. Right, riiight..."

Chris stared at New York for a few seconds. "The final snack, which looks like just a bag of popcorn an intern made, goes too..." Chris declared.

...

...

...

"...New York. Two votes."

Connecticut stared. "Wait, _what?_" he yelled. "I got _voted off?_ For what?"

Massachusetts sighed. "You sabotaged the team," he stated simply. "You shot Maine. That goes against Team Democracy. I'm... I'm sorry, Conn-"

"I _what?_" Connecticut cried. "Massachusetts! You _know me!_ Why would I do that? Massachusetts, who told you?"

Massachusetts hesitated for a brief moment as Chris directed the camera crews to record as much of the drama as possible. "I... uh..." Massachusetts stammered. "You... didn't? Well, um... New York, you told me that you saw him shoot Maine-"

"Hold on," Maine interrupted, as Connecticut was shooed towards the bus by Chris to go get his stuff. "Connecticut didn't shoot me. I specifically remember being shot by Georgia."

Everyone turned on New York at that. "Hey... guys, I can explain," New York began. Massachusetts's eyes went wide as he realized what'd happened. "You... you _lied!_" Massachusetts cried. "_York!_ You _fucking lied to me!_"

"Massachusetts, calm down-"

"Please, both of you," Pennsylvania whispered, "stop fighting... New York isn't that bad..."

"We have _proof_ that New York _just lied!_" Massachusetts screamed, pointing at Maine as Connecticut somberly collected his things from the bus. "Why would you _trust him, _Penn? It should be New York that's going home tonight! Chris, _please_ let us vote again-"

"No can do, bud!"

"Agh!" Massachusetts groaned. "New York, you are _dead_ to me."

That was a little extreme. "Um, hold on, really, New York didn't mean it," Pennsylvania insisted, though she seemed to be convincing herself more than Massachusetts. "Oh, no," Maine said. "I'm with Massachusetts on this one. New York, you _lied_. And now, Connecticut's going home because of it."

"You all would have voted for me!" New York suddenly burst out. "Admit it! If - if Connecticut - without him, you all would have voted for me!"

"That's not necessarily true!" Massachusetts yelled in return. "You were just being _paranoid, _New York! I know you're scared, but this is _no way to deal with fear!_"

Connecticut stood, ready to leave, bag in hand. "Um," he simply stated. "Why are you guys arguing?"

Everyone turned to look at him. A brief moment, and then Massachusetts ran to give him a huge hug. "Damn it, Connecticut..." Massachusetts muttered. "You don't deserve to be going home."

"Yeah, heh, well... democracy says so... hey, that's the name of our team, so it's fitting, right?"

Massachusetts gave a weak chuckle and a wave. "See you, man," Massachusetts mumbled. "You were a good friend."

Connecticut gave a friendly wave as he departed for the taxi. "Bye, guys!" he yelled, unaware that New York had been the reason he was going home. "I'll be rooting for you all back home!"

His footsteps eventually receded into the distance, off towards the taxi. Massachusetts was fuming as he glared at New York. "Now, Massachusetts," New York began, "I really think we can talk this out. There's no need for any kind of... of separation or anything like that." Pennsylvania nodded furiously at that, though she seemed to just want the fighting to stop. Massachusetts waited a moment, and then said, "Okay, New York. You want alliances? You'll _get_ alliances. Maine. Are you with me?"

A brief hesitation, and then she nodded her head firmly. "Yes," she confirmed. "What happened to Connecticut was _not_ fair."

"Good. And... Pennsylvania?"

Pennsylvania was torn between staying with New York and joining Massachusetts and Maine. "I mean," she began, "guys, we really don't need _alliances!_ We're a team of _friends!_ That's how it's always been!"

Massachusetts watched her for a moment longer, and then muttered, "Guess that's a no, then. Alright. Then... I guess that's that.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_124_mp3**

"I cannot _believe_ New York. He actually _did_ that to our team. He _lied to my face_. And just this morning, I considered New York to be one of my best friends on the show. I _get_ that he's scared, and that he just wants protection, but _friends don't vote off other friends_. We could've gotten through this."

Massachusetts

******ELIMINATED:** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, and Connecticut.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **BlueIce RedFire, weeaboopunk, Winkie4, Knifez, TheWriterGirl09271998, and Guest!

**aspiringAnimator -** Awww! Not Connecticut! Yeah, yeah, I know. And just like that, Team Democracy is split in half. Wonder what's in store next?

Next episode is the end of Act 2. Is it a big one? Perhaps. Just note that with Connecticut's elimination, there are now exactly twenty-two contestants remaining, which is the exact amount of contestants in Total Drama Island, excluding Mr. Coconut.

News, news, news, what's new... hm. I took up knitting recently. I guess that's news. I made a bracelet by using the Garter stitch! Aren't I so cool?!

Anyways. Guess that's it for today. Thanks for reviewing! I am absolutely _loving_ writing for this story, especially since I can _finally_ go into depth on these characters a bit more, because there's fewer. Hooray for development! Let me know what you think about the story so far via review, PM, a favorite or a follow. It all goes a _long, long_ way. And it helps me develop as a writer! Sort of. Maybe. I'm not sure how it does, but it might, and that's good enough for me.


	30. Five Teams Will Become Two

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - **(**New York and Pennsylvania**) **and **(**Maine and Massachusetts**)**.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota.

**Team Virginia** - Virginia.

**EPISODE 29: FIVE TEAMS WILL BECOME TWO**

_"I don't know, I think pink's an okay color." - Oregon_

**Sunday, October 12th, 2014. Hartford, Connecticut. 7:45 AM.**

A chilling cold front swept over the eastern United States in mid-October, forcing many to don their winter clothes a little early for 2014. Though the threat of snow was far, far away, ice-cold rain would pound the north-east. It certainly wasn't the pleasant warm breezes of July, that was for sure.

Rain slicked down over the front windshields of Team Democracy's bus, which paved the way north towards Connecticut. Every few minutes, thunder would clap in the distance, startling the bus's occupants. Chris had been determined to get the contestants all the way up to Connecticut by Sunday like usual, so the buses were forced to drive extra speedily under the rainy conditions. So... tensions were _much_ higher than usual. Especially in Team Democracy's bus.

Ever since Massachusetts's outburst towards New York since Connecticut was voted off, people were refusing to speak to each other. The atmosphere was not unlike that of Team America's, back when it was Illinois and Indiana versus Maryland and Virginia.

So, when New York walked into the main room, in which Massachusetts and Maine were watching the news on the couch, he saw them immediately stand up and make to leave. "Hey!" he yelled, tugging on Massachusetts's sleeve as he stepped out. "It's just me. New York."

"I know."

Massachusetts didn't stop, and simply walked off towards the bunk rooms. For the past few nights, he'd been sleeping in a completely different room separate from New York's.

Maine stayed behind for just a moment, though. She stared at New York with a sad expression. "I... hate that it has to be this way, York," she quietly muttered. "But... you've gone against the team. That's not okay. You lied about Connecticut _shooting_ me. So... until you can prove that you can be trusted, York... then I'm sorry, but we're going to stay away from you."

New York tried to respond, but Maine stepped off towards her bunk room, which she shared with Pennsylvania. New York was left standing in the middle of the bus's hallway, staring defeatedly at where Maine had disappeared.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_125_mp3**

"That's it. It's... it's over. I've completely _fucked up_ my teammates' trust in me. I'm - I'm _sorry_, okay? What more do they want? Connecticut, if you're watching, know that I'm _so sorry_. I don't know what I was thinking. But now everyone won't talk to me except for Pennsylvania! And even _she_ thinks I've gone over the deep end. I just... I just don't know what to do. Nobody likes me anymore. I've completely - completely _screwed_ up my team. I've gotta either... make this right, or... get rid of my opposition."

New York

**8:29 AM.**

Torrential rain splattered down on the roof of Team Dakota's bus as it crossed the state line into Connecticut. North Dakota stood before her team with a somewhat distant expression. She had her arms folded. South Dakota stood beside her with a slightly worried expression.

"Everyone..." North Dakota began, after pausing to fix her long black hair. "This... is the last challenge we as a team will face. It's well-known by now that the merge is next week. Now... my instinct tells me we'll be able to select our teammates, but if we're all separated, then..."

She cleared her throat a little, and faked a melancholy expression. "Then... it's been fun," she continued. "It's been a long ride. And... I _know_ I haven't _always_ been the, um... _nicest_ person to you all. And in the beginning, you were all an ungrateful bunch of lazy, whining maggots who all would have lost more than Team _America_, for christ's sake, if not for me. But... you've all really shaped up. And I thank you for that."

Everyone simply stared at her. It was a little... out of character, you could say, for North Dakota to get sentimental all of a sudden.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_126_mp3**

"_This_ is how you win the game. Everyone's going to be grouped together into one team at this merge, and _I_ gotta make sure this bunch of idiots are on my side. So, yes, that _does_ mean getting _sentimental_ or whatever to get them to remember all of the clearly fabricated 'fun times' we've had. There will be no 'multiple teams' after the merge. It'll be every man for himself. And _I_ plan on building a healthy army, one larger than I had before. Again, _t__his_ is how you win the game."_  
_

North Dakota

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_127_mp3**

"You know, I think I actually really respect North Dakota! I had no idea she was so nice. And she's such a great leader. I mean, _yeah_, I _guess_ there have been times where she's been... kind of abusive... but she's not all bad! Not... all bad. If I'm not on her team after the merge, then I'm going to miss her."

Oklahoma

**10:40 AM.**

"A little history lesson today, kids!" Chris announced abruptly as the twenty-two contestants climbed out of the buses, a light sprinkling of rain still drizzling down. "This is Connecticut! In 1636, Thomas Hooker led a band of Puritans to settle a region to the south of Massachusetts! When they got there, they wrote the Fundamental Orders of Connecticut in 1639, which largely played a big role in the beginnings of American self-government, later... being a big factor in... uh."

It was obvious that nobody was listening to him at all. Chris folded his arms, annoyed, and yelled, "Hey! The producers want me to give you all a little history lesson before we begin today's challenge! _They_ are concerned that you kids aren't getting enough education - y'know, 'cause _all_ of you are missing like an _entire semester of school_."

Nobody cared. Chris sighed, and gestured around him. "Well... welcome to Hartford!" he articulated. "Today's challenge is gonna be held here. Tell me, has anyone else noticed that there are now exactly _twenty-two_ contestants remaining?"

A brief silence, and then heads were shaken. Chris smirked, and yelled, "Well, about seven years ago, _that's_ the exact number of contestants that competed in the first season of Total Drama! You know, the season that _made my name_..."

For a second, Chris reminisced on some good memories. "You all were just kids back then!" he suddenly said. "But enough on that. Funnily enough, the very first challenge on that show featured its contestants jumping off a cliff! And so..."

Chris then pointed at a huge structure in the distance. From far away, it appeared to be a giant, grassy-topped steep cliff, but on closer inspection, it looked to be made of plywood. "We've made a fake cliff!" Chris announced somewhat unnecessarily. "In fact, if you look closely, _some_ of you may recognize it to be the exact same cliff used from my second teen reality show, Total Drama Action! Yes, we here at CampTV like to recycle. Also this is because we couldn't find any cliffs in Connecticut. At all."

With no prior warning, California leaned towards Washington and whispered, "So you two are really dating, huh?"

Washington jerked around and stared at California. "What?" was his initial reply. "Oh - I - uh... dating who?"

"Oregon. North Dakota said so. Remember?"

"Um..." Washington murmured as Chris droned on and on about his previous seasons. "We... I mean - no, Callie. We're, um... not. North Dakota was just, uh... teasing. Or, rather, she was trying to sow doubt in all of your minds. Or something."

"Oh," she responded, looking a little skeptical. "Well, doesn't matter, 'cause I wanna know your opinion on something."

"Lay it on me."

"Does Hawaii like me?"

Washington stared, mouth slightly open. "Um. Why?" he asked. "I mean, not that there's anything wrong if he does, but... we're kind of about to go through a big merge here."

"Well..." California began, "it's just... I kind of feel like the two of us have been dancing around... certain things. And he's really nice, and tan-"

"He's a native pacific islander, that's just his skin color," Washington pointed out, but was cut off by California plowing on, "and... and _smart_, sometimes... and I just wanted to know if he's told you anything in particular."

"Um, well..." Washington began, hesitating. "I, uh... sort of. He kind of... mentioned it..."

"He did?"

"A long time ago," Washington reiterated. "Like, back in the very first few episodes. He asked me what would happen if he asked you out, and I provided him an honest answer. But other than that, no, he hasn't mentioned it again."

"Oh," she replied, looking a little crestfallen. When she didn't say anything further, Washington said, "Look, Callie, don't worry about it, alright? I'm sure a _lot_ of guys would _love_ to go on a date with you-"_  
_

"Like you?" she asked, giving him a little eyebrow-waggle. Washington backed away just slightly, and stammered, "I - well - no, but-"

"It's okay," California cut in, winking. "I know you're gay. I can keep a secret."

Washington's eyes grew wide. "California, it's not like that," he insisted. "We're - we're just - agh, California, _please_ don't tell. How do you _know_ these things?"

"I have an excellent gaydar. I'm from Los Angeles, after all," she informed him with a cheeky smile.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_128_mp3**

"Look, don't get me wrong, it would be _awesome_ if California and Hawaii got together. I saw this coming a _long_ ways down the road. And in any other situation, I'd tell 'em both to go for it. But we're sort of on a _really_ important reality show with a _really_ big prize, and it wouldn't be the most useful thing to happen right now. And a six person team with _three_ couples is _not_ a good idea. Trust me. We've already got New Mexico and Arizona, not even mentioning Oregon and I. Also, _how_ did she know I'm gay? Nobody's supposed to know _I'm_ gay. Now it just makes me wonder who else knows."

Washington

**10:46 AM.**

"In today's challenge, you will all be climbing that cliff!" Chris continued, unaware of any conversations taking place between contestants. "Once at the top, each member of each team must jump! If you _don't_, you get to wear a chicken hat for the rest of the challenge!"

At that, Chris withdrew a rubber chicken hat and showed them all, an amused grin playing upon his lips. "The team with the highest rate of jumpers gets a special bonus for the next part of the challenge!" he continued. "Yes, back in the day, we had _multiple parts_ to challenges. It was pretty hectic planning them out like that. Also, speaking of planning..."

Chris then put on a serious expression, and addressed all the contestants. "As most of you have figured out, this is the last challenge you will all be facing as a team!" he announced. "On Wednesday, Blaineley will host the second Aftermath, and one final person will be voted off. And _next_ weekend, we will merge the teams together. But how, you may be asking yourself. Well... _five_ teams will become _two_."

Those vaguely cryptic words echoed around. "That's all I'm saying!" Chris declared. "You'll all find out what'll happen when it does. Anyways! Back to the challenge explanation... after the jumping, you will all be tasked with building a _hot tub_ as fast as possible! First team to complete theirs gets to keep it! Last team to complete theirs goes to the voting ceremony."

That was a shock. A few contestants whooped at the sound of getting their own hot tub. Chris smirked a little, and reiterated, "Oh, yeah, forgot. Since we're all driving around on buses, you _won't_ actually get to keep it. Sorry about that."

The celebration ended. Chris clapped his hands together excitedly and asked, "So! Who's ready to climb a mountain?"

**11:13 AM.**

The twenty-two contestants, plus Chris and Chef, climbed a steep, fake-grassy surface that rose above the city of Hartford. The higher they rose, the more chilling the winds that swept past them, especially due to the fact that they were only wearing their bathing suits. It was much more difficult than anticipated, and the bellowing, creaking sounds of the structure wasn't helping anything.

"Need a hand?" Alabama asked his girlfriend, Mississippi, as she slowly began to fall behind the others. "Yeah..." she muttered, and grabbed his hand. "It's just... so _cold_ up here..."

"Wait until it gets to be actually winter!" Chris yelled over the wind with an amused smile. "This is just fall. I assume _some_ of you've never seen snow before!" He then looked pointedly at New Mexico and Arizona, who were huddled together against the cold air.

Alabama grimaced at Chris a little, and leaned towards Mississippi. "Hey... did you hear what he said a little earlier?" he muttered. "About how our 'five teams are gonna become two' or somethin' like that."

Mississippi nodded a little reluctantly. "Bama, don't _worry_ 'bout it," she comforted. "We're probably gonna be together after the merge. It'll be _okay_."

This didn't convince Alabama. "Yeah, but what if we ain't?" he asked in a hushed tone. "I mean, think 'bout it, Miss'ssippi. If we can't pick our teams, then he might - he might separate us!"

"He wouldn't!" Mississippi insisted, a look of dawning horror on her face. Alabama stared off into the distance and mused, "I really think he might. Just - just... I just want to know that I'm - I'm still _here_ for you, Miss'ssippi. I always will be. You'll make new friends, sure, but... I'm here for you."

Tears began to collect in Mississippi's eyes, and she was about to say something, right when she was nearly knocked over by an irate girl.

"_Hey!_" the girl screamed at Chris. It wasn't a girl any of them had seen before... but a few members of Team Democracy recognized her, interestingly enough. "_Chris!_ What the _hell?_ You allowed Connecticut to be voted off?"

"Oh, my god..." Chris whispered, staring at the girl. "_Sierra_. I told you to _stay away from us_. I have a _restraining order against you_. Hold on, I'm calling the-"_  
_

Sierra rolled her eyes, and stared around at everybody. She was actually quite a bit older than everybody else. "Well. At least Massachusetts is here," she sighed. "But Chris! You stopped the greatest pairing ever from happening! Massachusetts, who is _confirmed to be gay_-"

"Uh, hi, actually I'm bisexual-"

"_confirmed to be gay_," Sierra insisted, glaring at Massachusetts, "was supposed to get together with Connecticut! It was supposed to happen right from the start! It's my OTP!"

"I - what?" Chris exclaimed, utterly confused now. "Sierra, how did you even _get_ here in the first place? How'd you know we'd be here?"

Again, she rolled her eyes at Chris's dumbfoundedness. "Uh, _duh,_ Chris," she said, gesturing vaguely at the air around them. "I _flew_. I booked a flight from Toronto to Hartford. It was surprisingly inexpensive, actually-"

"How'd you _know_ we'd be in Hartford? At this _exact location?_"

She started giggling at that. "Chris! Look at what we're standing on!" she told him. "It's the cliff from the first show! Duhhh. Wawanakwa Island. I mean, obviously it's the prop used from the set of Total Drama Action, just shipped here piece by piece and then put back together! I noticed, Chris. That's why I'm here."

Chris let out a looong sigh. "Sierra. I'm trying to do a challenge," he informed her. "I need you to _go away_. I was _hoping_ we'd be able to get through an entire act without you invading the show, but I guess that's not happening. Now scram. Go... write more creepy fanfiction."

A disappointed Sierra stood for just a moment longer, looked solemnly at the five remaining teams, and stomped away.

**11:21 AM.**

It was almost noon by the time everyone got to the top of the cliff. A weak morning sun peeked out from behind hazy gray clouds. All around, the land known as Connecticut expanded towards the horizon. It was a bleak reality.

At the bottom of the cliff, a large swimming pool had been set up. It didn't look to be deeper than ten feet. "Uh... Chris?" Virginia asked, peeking down below at the pool. "Is this challenge... _safe?_"

Chris shrugged. "It worked seven years ago!" he informed them. "So it should work now, theoretically!"

"Uh-huh..." Virginia muttered, stepping away from the edge and nervously adjusting her one-piece bathing suit. "So who's going first?"

"Well! I'm glad you asked, Virginia!" Chris said with an amused grin. "Because this morning, I told myself that the first person to ask that question would be the first to jump! Again, so glad you asked, Virginia."

And just like that, contestants started inching away from Virginia, who would be faced with jumping the the cliff first. "Oh, ahhh, okay..." she breathed, looking like she was about to throw up. "And... if I don't...?"

Chris produced a rubber chicken hat from behind him once more. "You'll have to wear this, and you won't get the bonus for the next part of the challenge!" he told her. She nodded. "Okay, got it..." Virginia whispered. "I... guess... here goes..."

Virginia took a step back to get a feel for her speed. Everyone watched her in nervous apprehension, convinced that Virginia was quite literally about to die. She exhaled, started running, and leaped over the edge, disappearing from view within seconds.

Everyone craned their necks over the edge to watch her fall. A long, drawn-out cry came from her, lasting several seconds, ending with the sound of a huge _splash_ at the bottom. Seconds later, Virginia poked her head above the water, and waved at everyone watching her. And despite the fact that Virginia wasn't on their team, cheers erupted. The challenge was proven to be safe._  
_

"Virginia has made the jump!" Chris announced. "That means the entirety of Team Virginia jumped, technically! Next up is Team... Victory! Time to jump!"

The celebration ended as quickly as it began. Chris stared at the six members of Team Victory expectantly. "Well?" he asked. "Which one of you wants to go first?"

Nobody answered him. Only half a minute later, New Mexico defeatedly muttered, "I'll go," and readied himself for the jump.

...

His scream of terror could be heard from miles, ending with a _splash_ from the pool. He'd actually made the jump.

"Ummm, I don't think I can do that..." California whined, gazing down at the tiny pool below. "My hair might get messed up. I think I'm gonna pass."

Oregon gulped. "Me too..." he said in a quiet voice. "It's too high. I - I really have a big, _big_ fear of water... ever since I was four..." At that, Washington nodded vigorously after a short glance at his boyfriend, stating, "It's true. He told me a... a while back."

"I don't care!" Chris decided, giving Oregon and California both a rubber chicken hat. "You could be scared of water because of _bubbles_, for all I care. If you don't jump, _you don't jump_. Simple as that. Hawaii, Washington, and Arizona! Let's see you three jump, since you're all so brave."

Though it took a little coaxing, the three of them eventually _did_ jump, screams echoing all over the city. Oregon and California, however, were both forced to ride the escalator of shame down to ground level, as if wearing the chicken hat wasn't enough. When all that was said and done with, Chris checked his chart once more and declared, "Next up is... Team Touchdown! Who's gonna jump, and who's gonna be a chicken today?"

Instantly, Mississippi drew back from the others, as did Georgia. "I... we can't do it," Georgia stammered. "I'm sorry, y'all, but this is just too high..."

Chris rolled his eyes and dished out two more rubber chicken hats. "What about the three of _you?_" he asked, addressing Alabama, Texas, and Louisiana. "Are you three down with this?"

Louisiana hesitated, and eyed the immensely high drop she would have to take if she said yes. Nevertheless, she gave a shaky nod, and whispered, "I can do it. It... it won't be that hard."

"Then go!" Chris yelled, and promptly pushed Louisiana over the edge. She yelped, screamed, "_No!_ I _changed my mind! Nooo!_" as she tumbled down into the pool. With a tremendous _splash_, she crashed into the water, narrowly missing Hawaii, who was just getting out from his previous jump. Moments later, Alabama and Texas followed, roaring with laughter as they sped like bullets through the air and into the frigid water below. They seemed to be the only contestants actually having fun in this challenge. Chris gave them a little frown, as though he wasn't a huge fan of contestants having fun on challenges that were meant to be intimidating. He sent Mississippi and Georgia down on their way to the escalator, and announced, "From Team Touchdown, three out of five members jumped! I think that's our lowest rate yet!"

Chris clicked his tongue for a moment, scanning over an important-looking list. "Now... let's have Team Democracy go," he said. "Let's get them over with. Are you four all jumping?"

The four exchanged nervous, distrustful glances. After a brief moment, Pennsylvania raised her hand, and quietly mumbled, "I... don't think I can jump. It's too high, and I get... I get, like, asthma sometimes when I stick my head out of cars and I think it's because of the fast-moving air-"

"Don't care," Chris informed, and merely shoved a rubber chicken hat at her. "You three. Are you all jumping?"

New York cautiously eyed his teammates. Maine nodded her head determinedly, and decided, "Yes, I am." Massachusetts gave a nod, and eventually New York reluctantly nodded. "Good! Then jump," Chris commanded.

...

It took nearly five minutes for the three to decide who would be jumping first. Eventually, Maine just thrust her arms up exasperatedly and said she would be taking the plunge. Nobody was entirely willing to argue against her, and so her cry of terror echoed around as the clock struck twelve. Massachusetts came next, and finally New York, after quite a bit of persuasion from Pennsylvania.

"Glad _that's_ out of the way..." Chris muttered a little exasperatedly. "Now. Who's left?"

He turned his head to look around. The only contestants remaining were all from Team Dakota, and they all looked absolutely terrified. "I've done the math," North Dakota informed Chris matter-of-factly. "Even if my sister and I don't jump, my team will still have four jumpers, which ties us with Team Victory. So we'll still get the bonus."

Chris raised his eyebrows. "Whatever you say, North Dakota!" he muttered, a small smile on his face. "If you've got your four jumpers all ready to go, then let's see."

"I'm _really_ not comfortable with jumping," Kansas whined. He was then promptly pushed over the edge by North Dakota, who was wearing an absolutely crazed expression. His scream was heard for miles.

"Oh, my _god!_" South Dakota cried. "_North Dakota!_ North Dakota, you don't have to do that, let _me_ go, it's okay-"

"Shut up, sis," North Dakota "politely" told her sister as she then pushed Nebraska over the edge. "You don't _need_ to jump. These so very _grateful_ people will jump _for_ us." As Oklahoma braced herself for the push, she seemed regretful of her previous affinity for North Dakota. And in less than a minute, the entirety of Team Dakota had jumped except for North and South Dakota, who were being issued rubber chicken hats. "Attention!" Chris yelled into his walkie-talkie to the contestants below. "We have a winner for the first part of the challenge! The team with the highest rate of jumpers was, at one hundred percent jumping, Team Virginia!"

A lone whoop could be heard from down below. "Wait, _what?_" North Dakota screeched. "Hold on - _Chris_ - we tied with Team Victory. _Our_ team had four jumpers! Virginia only had one!"

"The bonus goes to the team with the highest _rate_ of jumpers!" Chris informed her as he made his way towards the escalator for the second part of the challenge. "And technically, Team Virginia was the only team with one hundred percent of jumpers! Don't worry, I'm sure your team will do _excellently_ in the next part of the challenge."

**12:11 PM.**

A light rain started to fall again by the time Chris reached the bottom of the cliff. "Everybody ready to build some _hot tubs?_" he asked twenty-one contestants enthusiastically, gesturing towards five giant sealed wood boxes. "You all have until... 1 PM to make 'em!" Chris then informed. "Impress me, kids. I'll be waiting. If any of you slack off, well..."

Chris gave a nod towards Chef, who was brandishing a spatula rather threateningly. Chris chuckled lowly, and continued, "...then Chef here will know what to do."

There was a brief silence, broken only by Texas saying, "Alright, team, let's get started!" And thus, Team Touchdown was the first to start on the immense task of building an entire hot tub in only fifty minutes.

"Hey... where's North Dakota?" South Dakota suddenly asked, looking around. Her team was similarly confused, staring around. "Chris!" South Dakota asked. "Chris. Where's my sister? She was just with us. Did she tell you where she went?"

Chris just gave a shrug. "I'm headed to the crew-only buffet!" he told her as the rain continued to fall. "She's _your_ sister. You deal with her."

South Dakota was left staring defeatedly at where Chris disappeared. With nobody to lead them, Team Dakota milled about idly, unaware of what to do.

**12:25 PM.**

"Hey, um, be careful with that hammer," Oregon advised, watching Hawaii hack away at a bent nail. "You could accidentally, like... hit yourself in the eye..." Hawaii looked up at Oregon, and reassured him, "Don't worry, dude. It's okay."

California lifted a plank, struggling to keep it in place as her absurd little chicken hat bobbled on her noggin. "Hey, um..." she began hesitantly, "...Hawaii? Can... you maybe... help me? I'm just so tired..."_  
_

His eyes went a little wide. "Oh, um, _yeah_, sure, Callie!" he yelled, practically jumping at the offer. "Anything for you. Um. If you're - if you're okay with it, that is..."

"No, it's fine," California insisted, giggling as Hawaii dropped everything he was doing just to assist California. Washington rolled his eyes bemusedly at the two. "Well... I can say one thing for sure," he eventually said with a hushed tone. "I'd hate to be Virginia right now."

The six glanced over at Virginia, who was all alone and was tasked with building a hot tub all by herself. She sat in a pile of half-constructed wooden boards and nails, looking incredibly confused. Arizona stared solemnly at her, and quietly whispered, "I wish I could help her. I hope she's on our team after the merge. I hate when other contestants are in trouble, or when they need help..."

"You're so compassionate," New Mexico stated, grinning, causing Arizona to blush a little. She pushed him away playfully, but then said, "I wonder, though... I wonder if it would be okay if I helped her make hers."

Everyone in Team Victory stared at Arizona. "What?" Hawaii asked blankly. "You wanna help Virginia with the challenge?"

"Well, think about it!" Arizona insisted quietly. "She'd be so grateful! And not only that, but we might actually save her place in the game. After all, if she loses this challenge, then she goes straight home. No voting ceremony, no _nothing_. If we want her to like us enough to maybe... get on our side after the merge, then... then _gosh darn it_, I'm going to help her."

"Whoa! Crazy language there!" New Mexico yelped, amused, but let Arizona go anyways. "It's okay. We've got everything under control here," Washington said with a smile. "And that's actually not a bad idea, now that I think about it. You're the best at helping people, Arizona."

Arizona gave Washington a grateful smile, and then ran off to greet Virginia.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_129_mp3**

"I gotta say, it was real nice of Arizona to help me out like that. Without her, I think I might've lost the challenge. So... screw Team Dakota for tryin' to invade me last challenge, and screw Team Democracy for not helping me this one. I'm only trustin' _one person_ past the merge. And right now, that's Arizona."

Virginia

**12:54 PM.**

"_There she is!_" South Dakota cried, pointing off into the distance at an approaching figure, soaked in the rain. "Oh, thank _god_, there she is. There's North Dakota. Okay, thank goodness."

North Dakota approached slowly. "Where have you _been?_" South Dakota asked, practically livid with her sister. "We haven't made any progress!" When North Dakota heard _that_, she slowly scanned the scene. Her five teammates were all standing around a giant pile off wooden boards, nails, and tools. "You... you didn't even _start?_" North Dakota whispered, utterly horrified. "I - I was with..."

Her team waited patiently for the response. "You were where?" South Dakota asked. North Dakota gave a little gulp, and quietly admitted, "I was with Chris. At the... the crew only buffet... but _never mind that._ You five didn't even _start?_ What the actual _fuck?_ I - I leave you all for just a _while_ just to get some actual _decent_ food, and - and you didn't even - oh, my god, this is so outrageous."

North Dakota then turned on her team, absolutely and completely pissed off. "_SOMEONE is responsible for this_," she shouted. A few members of the other teams turned their heads to stare at the sudden commotion. "_NONE OF YOU did what you were SUPPOSED TO DO_."

"I'm _sorry!_" Oklahoma wailed. "It's so - so complicated! And we thought you'd get _back_, but you _didn't_, and now it's almost-"

"Shut the _fuck up_."

North Dakota took a few moments to think. She then looked around at everyone else's hot tubs. Team Touchdown was the only team that'd finished theirs; Team Victory was near finished. It was a close tie for third between teams Democracy and Virginia; despite the fact that Team Democracy had four people working and Virginia had two, Team Democracy didn't seem to be able to get much work done for some strange reason. And Team Dakota was pretty much the only team that hadn't done anything yet.

"_Shit_..." North Dakota muttered. "Damn it... I thought even _without_ me you all would be able to get _some_ work done. Looks like someone's going home tonight, then."

"Correct!" Chris suddenly declared, approaching out of nowhere. "North Dakota _is_ correct in the assumption that her team _will_ be going to the voting ceremony tonight! Nice to see you again, North Dakota. Hope you enjoyed the crew-only burritos. Was the hot sauce too spicy?"

North Dakota burned bright red with embarrassment. A few of the contestants started to realize that she'd just been granted crew-only food. Chris surveyed the rest of the hot tubs. "Looks like Team Touchdown was the only team that actually completed their assignment!" he announced. "For shame, everybody else. Looks like we've only got _one_ hot tub to donate to the, uh... charity for orphans."  


"Orphans need hot tubs?" Massachusetts asked a little skeptically. Chris raised a hand, and quickly said, "Never you mind, Massachusetts. Point is, Team Touchdown wins, and Team Dakota loses. Think real hard about who you're voting off, Team Dakota, 'cause you'll be voting _very_ soon. Into the buses, kids! I am _ready_ to get out of this rain."

**2:39 PM.**

"So..." South Dakota began nervously, approaching her sister in the middle of the bus. Rain continued to slick down the windows as it had in the morning. "Who are we, um... voting off tonight? I guess you've thought it out by now?"

North Dakota looked up from her magazine. "Huh?" she asked. "Oh. No. I hadn't. Um, let me think."

...

"Kansas."

South Dakota blinked. "Okay, why?" she asked a little nervously. North Dakota shrugged. "I dunno. It's the first name that popped into my head." At the sound of that, South Dakota appeared even more wary of her sister, and stammered, "Well, um, it's just... you're going to pick someone at, um... _random?_ I mean, don't forget, Kansas _was_ the one who _won us_ the singing challenge-"

"Pretty much. Tell everybody that's who we're voting for."

North Dakota didn't respond after that. South Dakota sighed, wondering desperately where her old sister had gone.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_130_mp3**

"Um... okay, I respect my sister's... _right_ to make decisions for our team, but, like... is voting people off at complete _random_ such a great idea? I mean... the sister I knew before this show wasn't like this. The sister I knew - silly, um, North Dakota, just a Sophomore in high school, having all her silly rivalries, and competitions, and being super competitive about scholar's bowl, it's just... she's different now. She's a lot colder. And it really breaks my heart to see her not care about people anymore! Y'know, I remember a time in which she actually had a crush on a boy. I remember! I won't say anymore than that, 'cause I'm sure she'd absolutely _kill_ me for it. Or at least take my entire Pokemon card collection away."

South Dakota

**7:03 PM.**

"When I call your name, you get a snack, yadda-yadda-yadda," Chris declared to a weary Team Dakota. It was painfully obvious who was going home, even to the particular person who would be leaving. Nevertheless, Chris was quite adamant about increasing the drama to absolutely frightening levels. He gave a little smile, and yelled, "Colorado! No votes. Nebraska, zero votes, _North Dakota_... zero votes, interestingly enough... Oklahoma, zero votes, and South Dakota! Zero votes."

Snacks were distributed, quite literally leaving Kansas without anything. The fact that everybody else got zero votes was surprising, however. "Hold up," North Dakota interrupted suddenly. "We all got zero votes? So... he got _six votes?_"

"Correct-a-mundo!" Chris declared. "He got _six votes_. So... yes. Kansas voted for himself."

And just like that, Kansas received the absolutely strangest stares. "What?" he asked. "That's... that's who you guys said to vote for... and I figure, hey, I'm going home anyways, so... might as well speed up the process..."

Hearing it put like that was absolutely, impossibly depressing. "Wow," North Dakota remarked, almost in awe. "That's... that's really something. You actually voted for yourself."

"Yep," Kansas confirmed, standing up to retreat to the bus to retrieve his personal belongings, which he'd already packed in advance after hearing he would be going home. "I'd say it's been fun, but that'd be a lie. See you guys later."

With that, Kansas was unsurprisingly voted off the show, ending the second act.

**10:46 PM.**

Late at night. Team Victory's bus. The rain had finally let up over the course of the night, but the old raindrops still clung to the windows like glue. A waning half-moon began to show through the clouds as it descended towards the horizon. Two contestants sat in one bunk room, discussing the past, each other, and their plans for the future.

"I don't know, I think pink's an okay color," Oregon insisted, lying on Washington's bed carelessly. "I mean, sure, like you said, it's overrated, but it can be used well sometimes-"

"It's so _gaudy_, though..." Washington muttered, reading a novel he'd picked up from the gas station a few days prior. "People _do_ use it too much."

"You're thinking of hot pink," Oregon informed Washington as he inspected his nails. "If you use a light pink, then outfits can actually look okay. But I agree, hot pink is too much when it's overused... ugh, some girls don't have any style. I'm serious."

Washington eyed Oregon and gave him a small smile. "So what do you think?" he suddenly asked. "About... what we should do after the merge. Chris himself said that we'd all be bunched up into two teams."

Oregon considered the question thoughtfully. "Hmm..." he murmured, blue eyes scanning the bottom of the bunk above Washington's. "I mean... what you and I should do specifically? Like... you and I as a, um..."

"Go on. You can say it. As..."

Oregon seemed a little reluctant to say the word. The entire concept of having a boyfriend was a little new to him, after all. "As... a couple," Oregon finished. "Well, I mean, it's not like we'll suddenly _stop_ being together-"

"Of course not."

"So, I think we should make it work," Oregon continued after pondering the question seriously. "And who knows? We might be on the same team! Oh, my gawsh, that would be so fab."

"Always the optimistic one," Washington remarked bemusedly. "Also, Oregon, seriously... you need to come out of the closet. To the team."

At that, Oregon started shaking his head vigorously. "Oh, no, I could _never_ do that," Oregon stated, looking terrified. "I'm just - no, I'm sorry, I just can't do that. I can't even begin to imagine how everyone would react... I know Hawaii's kind of against guys acting girly in general. He got onto me about saying the word 'pretty', can you believe him?"

Washington hesitated, and then said, "Well, like it or not, California knows."

"She _does?_ I didn't tell her! I swear-"

"I know you didn't. She says she has an 'excellent gaydar', whatever that means. She knows about me, too, though I can't even imagine how she figured _me_ out..."_  
_

Oregon thought about that for a few moments in silence, eyes drifting somewhat. "Well... I'll come out when I'm _ready_," Oregon decided. "I'm not gonna make someone force me to do it."

For a few minutes, the two simply sat on the same bed, enjoying each other's presence, and not talking. Lights sped past the windows as the bus headed west, towards Toronto for the Aftermath. Oregon suddenly gasped. "Oh, my gawsh, you know what we should do?" he said, looking a little excited.

"What?"

"We should... we should say our names."

"Ohhh, no," Washington decided rather quickly. "No, no, no. There are cameras everywhere. I'm sure Chris's documented this entire conversation. We are _not_-"

"But we should!"

"We'll get _disqualified!_"

"Well, then, that's _your_ problem, because I'll tell you mine," Oregon said, giving a little wink. "And then you'll _have_ to tell me yours out of guilt." At that last sentence, Washington groaned, because evidently he knew that's exactly what would end up happening. Oregon cleared his throat, flickered his eyes a little nervously, and then leaned in towards Washington's waiting ear, whispering...

"_My name's Collin_."

Washington withdrew from Oregon a little unexpectedly. "Really?" he asked. "It's Coll-"

"_Don't repeat it!_"

"Okay! Sorry, um, Oregon. But... really? That's so... ordinary. I thought you'd have a really... stereotypically gay name or something."

"What? I - huh? Can you even _name_ any stereotypically gay names?"

The sudden insistence of Oregon's query startled Washington. "Well, not on the spot!" Washington decided after a moment. "But... okay. I like your name, by the way, don't get me wrong. But we're seriously gonna get in trouble if we exchange names like this."

"I don't care," Oregon sighed, satisfied. "I've kept my sexuality _and _my name secret this entire season. I'm just happy to finally tell somebody both. Now tell me yours. And besides, it's not like the producers _know_ that we're not just saying fake names."

Washington hesitated, just briefly, and then leaned towards Oregon. He gulped, and whispered...

"_Well... my name is Daniel._"

Oregon gave Washington bouncing eyebrows. "Oooh!" he remarked. "Hmm! Okay. Wow, it's... it's so _weird_ knowing your name... like, I just know that you're _Washington_. You're regular, old Washington! Like George Washington, except cooler, and more attractive, and probably smarter, if I'm being honest-"

"Come on, Oregon, you didn't even _know_ George Washington, you can't say that-"

"But it's probably true," Oregon insisted, giving Washington a wink. "God, for someone so... _brilliant_, you're so modest."

The two chatted on deep into the night, unaware that a certain contestant was listening outside their door.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_131_mp3**

"Okay, I admit it, I've been _eavesdropping_ on the two of them, but I can't help it! They are _so adorable_. I mean, at first I was a little shocked they were together, and it was so sudden, but... man. I really wish I'd heard their names, I've been pretty curious about Washington's for a while now. But it's probably something ordinary, like Robert or John or something. Still. They are so cute. Call me a shipper, I don't care, it's true."

Arizona

**END OF ACT 2**

******ELIMINATED:** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Connecticut, and Kansas.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **TheWriterGirl09271998, Guest, and Winkie4!_  
_

**aspiringAnimator** - And so ends Act 2! I'd love to have ended it on an incredibly dramatic ending like I did with Act 1, buuut... I just couldn't find a suitable _thing_ to happen. Heck, the Aftermath is scheduled to be more dramatic than _this_ episode. Also, yeah, stay tuned for the Aftermath! It's comin' at you like a speeding bullet, and you are its target. Blaineley is the gun, and she is giving you a wicked smile, eager to be the host for just one more episode. Everyone is really creeped out at Blaineley, and wishes she would stop invading the story like this.

Also. I just totally noticed that _every single freaking pairing I've made in this fic_ (except California and Hawaii) features states that are directly adjacent to each other. Washington and Oregon. Alabama and Mississippi. Arizona and New Mexico. New York and Pennsylvania. Maine and Massachusetts, though those last two pairings aren't official or anything, just hinted at. Was all that intentional? Not even I am sure.

By the way, a quote from somewhere in each episode is now featured at the top of the episode, right under the title. Mainly for interest and foreshadowing.

Check back for new chapters! I'm coming at you every Wednesday and every weekend, so you'd better be prepared! Especially since we'll be starting Act 3 soon, and a lot of stuff happens. You know, stuff like Team America losing almost every single contestant over the course of an entire act and Team Victory not losing a _single challenge over the course of an entire act_. So weird! It's like I wanted the Oregon and Washington pair to happen before I even began writing this fic. So weird and unintentional.


	31. Aftermath 2

**AFTERMATH TEAMS**

**Supporting Team Touchdown** - Kansas and Utah.

**Supporting Team Democracy** - Arkansas.

**Supporting Team Victory** - Connecticut, Delaware, Michigan, New Hampshire, and New Jersey.

**Supporting Team Dakota** - Illinois and Tennessee.

**Supporting Team Virginia** - Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, North Carolina, and Ohio.

**BEGINNING OF INTERMISSION 2**

**EPISODE 30: AFTERMATH 2**

_"Remember the Courtney Incident of '07?" - Chris_

**Wednesday, October 15th, 2014. Toronto, Canada. 6:00 PM.**

"Welcome... to the second Aftermath for the most popular _and_ controversial show in North America!"

Blaineley addressed an audience roaring with applause. She soaked in the appreciation like a leech, smiling and waving her arms excitedly and squealing a lot. "A _lot_ has happened over the past month and a half!" she cried ecstatically. "And _I_ am here to dish out the drama! So. Let's get started."

The audience applauded once more, and then calmed down enough for Blaineley to speak again. "The last time I left you all, it was back in August!" she said. "Act 1 had just ended! That night we sent Michigan home, and possibly caused the complete destruction of almost the entirety of Team America. It's a fun time!"

Everyone laughed on cue at that. Blaineley grinned widely, and shouted, "And _speaking_ of the handsome devil... come on up, Michigan! You're our first loser tonight!"

Michigan strode on stage, wearing a white tuxedo and a nervous smile. "Good evening, Blaineley," he simply said. "It's nice to be back to talk about the show."

"I'm sure!" Blaineley responded, and giggled incessantly. "You know, I have been keeping tabs on you, my friend!" she informed him pleasantly after she finished laughing. "For someone from a team like Team _America_, you were _definitely_ one of my favorites. It was such a shame you had to go home so early! I know you were popular with a lot of the fans! What happened, sweet heart?"

Blaineley stared down at Michigan with a pseudo-sweet smile, and stuck out a microphone beneath his mouth. "Um..." he stammered. "Well, I mean... I didn't exactly expect to _win_... well, _maybe_, but I had fun while I did it. And I did get to meet a lot of really nice fans afterwards."

The host nodded her head sympathetically. "So brave," she breathed. "Well, Michigan, I'm gonna need you to take a seat, because here comes our sixteenth loser from the show! Give it up for the quirky, the weird, and the _bizarre_... Kentucky!"

Kentucky appeared, wearing a suit that did not appear to fit him properly. "Mornin'!" he greeted as he bounced on stage, even though it was actually early evening. "I'm here for the show!"

"Right you are!" Blaineley confirmed, smiling for the cameras. "So! Kentucky. _You_ had quite the spree on your team, but were voted off after you were seen as a nuisance!"

"It's a real tragedy!" Kentucky yelled, staring hollowly at the huge audience. "I'm one of the nicest people I know. It's funny, 'cause after I got voted off, Team America started losin' a _ton_ of challenges-"

"Yes, well, I'm certain the common consensus is that actually _Michigan's_ elimination kick-started those losses, not yours," Blaineley told him sweetly, and then pushed him towards the benches, where he would be sitting with Michigan. "Next, let's have... New Hampshire!"

New Hampshire walked pleasantly onto the stage. Her long hair was tied up in an elegant-looking bun, and she seemed pleased to know that her original team was down to just four contestants. After all, her elimination had been one of the most unfair; there was no basis behind her getting voted off besides complete randomness.

"Good evening, New Hampshire!" Blaineley greeted. "It's such a pleasure to have you on the Aftermath! So glad you could make it."

"Same for you, Blaineley," New Hampshire agreed, though she seemed to remember a few of the more brutal challenges Blaineley made her do. Without so much as another word, New Hampshire stepped off to join fellow ex-contestants at the benches. Blaineley raised her eyebrows slightly, yet plowed on, "Up next we have... Utah! Say hello to the audience, Utah!"

A teenage boy walked on stage, looking incredibly nervous. "Um, hi," he stammered. "I'm, um... Utah. I was voted off in the driver's test challenge. You know, the one where I reversed straight into a parked car."

Blaineley cackled with laughter, as did the audience right on cue. "Yes! You _did_, didn't you?" she sighed. "I remember that _very clearly,_ Utah. That required a _lot_ of legal documentation afterwards. Thank you _so much_. Now go take your seat."

Utah did as he was instructed, slightly put off by Blaineley's sudden passive-aggressiveness. "Up next!" Blaineley declared. "The girl who is _still_ recovering from a _major_ plane crash, give it up for North Carolina!"

North Carolina walked on stage in regular, everyday clothes, still wearing a cast for her arm. Other than that, she seemed recovered. "Hi, Blaineley," she greeted dully. "I guess I _have_ to do this, don't I?"

Blaineley ignored North Carolina's question, and said to the audience, "North Carolina here was showered with donations from faithful viewers after her plunge! In fact, you could say she's made the _most money_ off this show out of _any_ of us so far!"

"Hey, I didn't _ask_ for those donations, and you're acting like you're dirt poor compared to me!" North Carolina snapped back. "You make thousands of dollars off of gossiping about celebrities and teenagers on reality television! It's despicable, that's what it is-"

"That's enough from you!" Blaineley cheerily announced, and gave North Carolina a little push towards the stands. "We've still got more losers to introduce. Everyone, say hello to... _Ohio!_"

Ohio walked on stage with a grim smile as he wore a handsome black tuxedo. "Hello, Blaineley," he greeted. "It's good to be back." Ohio then scanned the bleachers and spotted Michigan. He then stared stonily ahead towards Blaineley, as though ignoring somebody. Blaineley smiled widely, and announced, "You had _quite_ the time on Team America. Early on, you got Virginia on your side, earned the animosity of Michigan over there, and kicked him off and forcibly assumed leadership! To make things worse, after _you_ left, things just completely collapsed on the team! What happened?"

"Well..." Ohio began, aware that he was being watched by millions on international television, "I mean... I screwed up in a lot of things. Particularly in the fact that some of my teammates didn't actually trust in me very much."

He then stared pointedly over at North Carolina and Kentucky over on the benches. "So... yeah. It was pretty rough," Ohio admitted. Blaineley nodded in agreement, patted him on the head roughly, and stated, "Well, Ohio, you'll be able to explain a little on your story in a bit! We've got an entire segment planned out and _everything_. For now, though, we need to get the rest of the contestants underway! Arkansas! Come on up!"

As Ohio went to plop a seat beside North Carolina, Arkansas walked on stage, eliciting a huge applause. It was clear he was a fan favorite, for some reason. "Hi, Blaineley!" Arkansas greeted. "It's nice to be here tonight! Thank you for inviting me."

"Likewise!" Blaineley shrieked. "You've developed quite the following on Twitter! In fact, some are calling you the go-to guy for all the news on the show! How's your time been with that?"

"It's been pretty interesting, actually," Arkansas admitted honestly. "I was following the show pretty adamantly after I was eliminated, and I guess... got a lot of followers with my tweets. Eventually some of the producers contacted me and asked if I wanted to be a... public spokesperson, so I was up for it. Right now I do a lot of traveling between-"

"How _fascinating!_" Blaineley lied, giving a huge, toothy smile to the audience. "I'll have to cut you short there, Arkansas, because we need to _get on with the show!_ Take a seat in the peanut gallery, and hold onto your nonexistent hat, because here comes... Maryland!"

Maryland, wearing an attractive pink dress, walked on stage, appearing incredibly nervous to be there. "Hi," she simply stammered, avoiding eye contact with the members of the audience. Blaineley smiled politely, and said, "Good evening, Maryland! It's so nice that you could make it."

"Um, yeah..." Maryland responded, eyes darting around somewhat. "I'm kind of busy today, so... I was hoping this wouldn't take long..."

For a split second, Blaineley gave Maryland a dirty scowl, yet her expression instantly morphed into that of genial understanding. "Of _course_, Maryland!" she exclaimed. "I was eager to get onto the next two contestants, after all. Bring on... New Jersey and _Delaware!_"

The audience burst into applause once more as the two walked on stage. Delaware was smiling widely, and New Jersey seemed to be trying his best to appear pleased to be there. "Hello, you two!" Blaineley greeted, holding her microphone out. "So! The two of you have told us that _neither_ of you are supporting Team Democracy tonight! In fact, as far as we can tell, there's only one contestant who is, and he wasn't even on that team! What's the scoop, guys?"

"Well..." Delaware began, appearing hesitant, "I just think... Team Democracy, over the past few weeks, has slowly started to-"

"They're a bunch of traitors!" New Jersey yelled. "I mean it. Massachusetts... New York... Pennsylvania... the whole lot of 'em."

"Interesting!" Blaineley commented, eager to juice the drama for all it was worth. "But, New Jersey, you _do_ realize that Massachusetts is actually now against both New York _and_ Pennsylvania, right?"

New Jersey stared at Blaineley with a blank expression. "I haven't actually, um... been keeping up with the episodes after I was voted off," he admitted. "But Team Democracy is going down regardless. _Especially_ after they apparently kicked off my main bro Connecticut."

"Oh, yes!" Blaineley exclaimed, eyes wide. "Connecticut _will_ be here very soon, don't worry! While we're waiting... I suppose a little _flashback_ from when Delaware was voted off would be nice!"

Delaware stepped back instinctively. "No, no, no, that won't be necessary," she stammered, right as Blaineley pushed her aside and pointed at a figure somewhere in the back. "Roll the clip!"

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_9_mp3**

_New Jersey was absolutely livid as Delaware walked away towards the taxi. "This is mother - motherfuckin' unacceptable!" he screamed. Everyone flinched, and stepped back slightly. "New Jersey, we picked you," New York insisted. "We wanted you over Delaware. That's good, that means we like you. You can get your head in the game now-"_

_"Ugh, you don't fucking understand!" New Jersey shouted. "As usual. If it was between me and Delaware, I'd want Delaware to stay in the game. And you completely blew that for her. You made that decision for her. How do you think she feels right now?"_

_That last sentence stung, and New York evidently decided to back down a bit. New Jersey stared angrily at the three who'd voted for Delaware, and then turned to the two who hadn't: Maine and Connecticut. "Maine! Connecticut!" he yelled. "You're in my alliance now."_

Delaware seemed a little flustered, while New Jersey stared stoutly ahead. "I stand by my actions," New Jersey declared determinedly. "New York kicked off _Delaware_ without even consulting me first. That's treachery." While Delaware would typically seem a little put off by New Jersey's declarations, today she appeared somewhat grateful for his presence, interestingly enough.

"I see!" Blaineley remarked. "We'll be able to catch up on the current situation in Team Democracy soon, don't worry! For right now, though, I'm gonna need the two of you to go sit down at the bleachers. Let's see... who's next on the list..."

Blaineley skimmed her clipboard for a brief moment, raised her eyebrows, and then yelled, "Let's have... um... Illinois come on up! Why not."

There was a brief commotion from somewhere behind scenes. A couple of thudded noises, and then Illinois was thrust on stage. "Um," he stammered. "I'm not sure if I'm supposed to go next. Isn't Ind-"

"Come on _up_, Illinois!" Blaineley exclaimed loudly. "You had _such_ an exciting elimination ceremony! In fact, that very episode is among the second most top-rated right now! The game show Chris came up with was certainly _very_ shocking. I tried to convince him to call it a 'fame show', but he wouldn't go for it!"

Blaineley then burst into somewhat deafening screams of laughter, as did the audience. Illinois seemed to draw into himself, slightly intimated by the Aftermath show now. "Um, yeah, I remember, Blaineley," Illinois pointed out. "I was there. You don't need to remind me."

"Oh, but I do!" Blaineley exclaimed. "This _is_ the recap show, after all! We won't have another one for ten more episodes! I have to cram as much content in this as possible!"

Illinois tried to reply to that, but he was shoved aside by Blaineley, who told him, "Go sit down, kid. We've still got more contestants to introduce tonight! Like... um... Tennessee! Tennessee. Come on up, sweetie!"

Illinois was forced to sit in the bleachers while Tennessee strode on stage, wearing an elegant-looking dress and a small smile. "Hi, Blaineley," she greeted, extending a hand. Blaineley begrudgingly shook Tennessee's hand, and then wiped her own hand on her dress while she said, "Tennessee! It's so good to have you on the show."

Tennessee nodded, smiling brilliantly. "It's been _so_ much less stressful now..." she admitted. "I no longer have to worry about teammates, or anything like that. It's nice. And to be honest, it's been a nice change of pace not traveling all the time."

"I'm certain!" Blaineley cried. "Well, that's all the time _I_ have for you-"

"Wait!" Tennessee suddenly said, alarmed. "Aren't you gonna - I - well, I mean... that's it? I led a rebellion in Team Touchdown! Doesn't that deserve... some kind of extra attention?"

"Nope!" Blaineley decided instantaneously. "And we've got to get on with our show tonight. And I would _love_ to hear from... Connecticut! Where are you, darling?"

Tennessee stomped away indignantly, while Connecticut took her place. He was wearing a brand new sweater, and smiling cheerily at the audience. "It's nice to see you again, Blaineley!" he said politely. "How are things?"

"Oh, you know how it is, Connecticut!" Blaineley said loudly. "Fighting poverty, hosting reality shows, getting kicked _off_ of said reality shows... it's been an absolute _whirlwind!_" At that, Connecticut hesitated, unsure of whether he should press on. "But do tell me!" Blaineley then said. "How did you feel when you discovered New York had blatantly lied about your sabotage against the team? I imagine you were _quite_ upset!"

Connecticut thought about that for a moment, looking solemn. "Well... yeah, I was," he admitted. "New York was my friend. When I rewatched the episode, and found out that he did that... it was really hurting. I honestly can't believe he went that far. I've known him for - for _months_ now, and it's just... terrible to see him take a turn like this."

Blaineley nodded sympathetically. "I'm sure, Connecticut," she said. "Well, I'll need you to go take a seat, because we have _one more__ contestant_ to introduce tonight... say hello to _Kansas!_"

Kansas, who was wearing a handsome tuxedo, walked on stage with a wavering smile. "Hello, Kansas!" Blaineley greeted, and then lied, "It's so nice to meet you again. You were voted off just a few days ago!"

"Um... yeah, I was," Kansas acknowledged, glancing around. "You don't need to remind me. I was there."

Blaineley burst into cringe-inducing laughter once more. "Oh, Kansas!" she cried. "You're _too_ funny."

"But that wasn't a joke-"

"And let's hear it for Kansas! So we can finally get on with this show!" Blaineley declared, and the audience applauded right on cue, shooing him off stage. "So! That's everyone, isn't it?" Blaineley quickly asked. "Because if that's everybody then we need to st-"

There was a large crash from behind the stage somewhere. Blaineley closed her eyes momentarily, balled her fists up, and began massaging her forehead. "Ohhh, _no_..." she quietly muttered. "Not _her_."

"Agh! Get your hands off me!" Indiana shouted, and was thrust on stage by some crew member. She wasn't wearing anything fancy; just her regular jeans and graphic t-shirt. She quickly looked around, sighed, and muttered, "Ohhh, _no_... not _her_."

Blaineley sighed loudly, waved her hands a little less than usual, and muttered, "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... _Indiana_."

Indiana stared contemptuously at Blaineley, and then towards the audience. "I am _not_ doing this," she determinedly stated. "I left the show of my _own accord_. You will _not_ suck me back into this to... to chat about some stupid contestants I barely knew just to entertain the dumbed-down generation of kids CampTV serves."

"You think _I_ like this?" Blaineley whispered harshly. "Just _be here for the audience_. Stop complaining. You're young and famous."

Indiana rolled her eyes, and just walked over to the benches to sit down, not wanting an overly elaborate introduction. Blaineley seemed perfectly willing to comply, and announced, "Everybody, the entire cast of losers from the past fifteen episodes are here!"

The audience applauded for the fifteen losers. Blaineley grinned widely, and shouted over the din, "Let's talk about Michigan and Ohio first!" The room hushed; fans had been clamoring for something like this for the past month or so. "We've put together a little _montage_ of their best, most _adora-bloodthirsty_ moments together!" Blaineley announced. "Roll the clip!"

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_10_mp3**

_"Well, this isn't so bad, right?" Michigan asked, sitting around a dying campfire with his nine other teammates in the middle of the woods. Ohio shook his head slowly, and rubbed his eyes. "You're wrong on that. We don't have any food or shelter."_

_Michigan sighed, but pointed out, "But we are at our campsite. And it's not like we... need food and shelter to win the challenge. All we need to do is to get back to Chris at eight AM tomorrow."_

_Ohio glanced at Michigan. "Sounds a little too optimistic. Do we even know where we are? I wouldn't be surprised if we got lost before even reaching Chris."_

_A scoff came from Michigan. "Don't worry, Ohio. We'll make it. No need for so much pessimism."_

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_11_mp3**

_Ohio rolled his eyes, glancing at his teammate. "I'm telling you, dude, you need to replace them. You can't just line them up again like that. Don't you know anything about how cars work?"_

_Michigan glanced at Ohio suspiciously. "Like it or not, I'm fixing it. Don't worry. Focus on your own task."_

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_12_mp3**

_"We need to do a striped theme!" Ohio declared, holding orange and purple cloth together for comparison. "It's simple. It's stylish. It will keep us from getting in last."_

_"Orange and purple look terrible together, you know," Michigan commented passive-aggressively, walking by._

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_13_mp3**

_"Michigan, I don't think it's a good idea to use more water. It's compact enough as it is."_

_"It's fine, Ohio. There's no need to worry. I'm just cementing what we have already."_

_..._

_"Right, because you're so very good at designing."_

_"Are you being sarcastic, Ohio?"_

_"Of course not."_

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_14_mp3**

_He sighed, and was about to retreat into the bus, before he added one more comment. "One more thing," he said slowly._

_"Don't trust Ohio."_

_Those three words resonated into the early Toronto evening. A few people looked worried. North Carolina was looking like she regretted her decision. A few moments later, Michigan appeared from the bus, with his rather large duffel bag in tote. "Well, looks like I'm off," he said, looking towards the taxi in the distance. "A handshake, Ohio?"_

_Michigan extended a hand towards Ohio, who still sat on the pavement below. There was a pause. Ohio didn't accept._

_"Right..." Michigan muttered, and headed towards the cab. "Bye for now."_

The clip ended right there, as both Michigan and Ohio were brought up at the front of the stage. "Um..." Michigan muttered, eyeing Ohio suspiciously. "I'm really not comfortable with this."

"Yeah, me neither, can we just skip to the next segment?" Ohio asked rapidly. "He smells like baby wipes and cheese."

"I do not! You smell like - like _cabbage_ or something-"

"I don't even like cabbage!"

"Boys!" Blaineley shouted, though she seemed elated to finally have some drama going on with her little show. "Boys, boys, settle down. There'll be plenty of time to settle old scores in the debate we've got planned! But let's talk about what the fans want to know. Have the two of you made up at all?"

Ohio looked up and down Michigan with disdain. He didn't respond, and neither did Michigan, who looked like he just wanted to go sit down now. "Come onnn, Michigan!" Blaineley yelled, trying to get him all riled up. "He got you voted off!"

"He got what he deserved," Michigan pointed out helpfully. "He eventually got himself voted off in the end. That was a funny episode."

"Shut it, Michigan," Ohio growled, avoiding eye contact with him. "At least I got _farther_ than you. _And_ I led a team."

"Yeah, you lead a team to its _death!_ Only Virginia's survived! And it doesn't matter if you got farther than me, because you still lost!"

Ohio seemed ready to flat out hit Michigan now. Blaineley predicted this would happen, and pushed the two apart. "Okay, now!" she consoled. "Go sit down over there, boys. We'll have you in the debate soon enough."

As Ohio and Michigan begrudgingly sat back down in their places, Blaineley turned to the audience with yet another somewhat off-putting big smile. "Okay, America," she began, "And Canada and any other viewers! We have to talk about the most _controversial_ couple of this season. Forget about New Mexico and Arizona, Mississippi and Alabama, California and - look, _n__obody_ saw it coming, but most fans will be delighted to know that... Oregon and Washington are _officially_ dating!"

A large portion of the audience began cheering and wolf-whistling. Blaineley gave the camera a wink, and said, "Not _everybody_ has been the biggest fan of the two! In fact, this was the very first gay couple in Total Drama history! But it is _happening_, folks, like it or not! Will the two eventually be separated? What misfortune will befall them? Currently... episode twenty-seven, _The_ Episode, ranks at the top of the charts right now! Not _everybody_ supports it... but absolutely _everyone_ is watching it."

Blaineley sighed for a moment, checked her watch, and yelped. "Okay, everyone!" she shouted. "We've got to begin the _debate_. Here are the rules. We've changed it up a little since we last met in August! Instead of one loser representing the team they're supporting, it'll be _all fifteen_ losers engaged in debating firefight! The team that gets the most votes against will have their real contestants go to a voting ceremony!"

The fifteen old contestants cheered, eager to start the part of the show where they influence the real show one last time before they left Total Drama forever. Blaineley pointed at five huge podiums that had been placed on the stage by the behind-the-scenes crew. "Losers!" she cried. "Go take your place at the podium for the team you're supporting!"

They all moved for the podiums; Five people each went to the podiums for Team Victory and Team Virginia, while only Arkansas went to Team Democracy's podium. For teams Touchdown and Dakota, only two contestants supported them. With everybody in place, Blaineley clapped her hands for the debate to begin. "Begin!" she announced. "When it seems like there is a consensus between two different teams, then we'll have a vote!"

"Alright!" New Jersey instantly said, stepping up on Team Victory's podium. "I'm New Jersey. I'm representing Team Victory! When I was alone, and everybody was playing Risk but me, I went to Team Victory during the sleeping challenge. They _accepted me with open arms_. They played Apples to Apples with me!"

Nods were shared among many. Team Victory was held in high esteem by most contestants. "Not only that," New Jersey continued, "but Team Victory is the _largest team in the game!_ That says something. They haven't lost a _single challenge_ since the last Aftermath."

"Yes, Team Victory's alright," Ohio acknowledged, though he also seemed to notice that Michigan was supporting Team Victory. "_But_... Team Virginia is better. Virginia is an _idol_ to many. She is the _underdog_, and she's been through so much from her team. She is the _only surviving member of Team America_. And, let's face it, Team America was a _really_ screwed up team for the most part."

Six ex-members of Team America all nodded at the truth embedded in that statement. "Virginia has the gumption to become a finalist!" Ohio continued. "If any team should at _least_ be taken down a peg, it's Team Victory. They've got _six_ contestants, after all."

Every ex-contestant that wasn't supporting Team Victory nodded in agreement to that. "Now, hold on," Michigan interrupted. "Team Victory is one of the _best teams_ we've seen in the game so far. Maybe not as efficient as Team Dakota, but if you had any team to pick to be in, which one would you choose?"

"Uh, the correct answer to that statement is Team Touchdown," Kansas suddenly declared. "They're fun to be with. They're all friends-"

"I can counter that," Tennessee icily interrupted, but Kansas plowed on, "and they're pretty funny! Plus they're all strong, which means they're gonna get real far in the game!"

"Heheheheh..." Connecticut muttered to himself. "Sorry, but strength isn't everything. Did strength help Team Touchdown win that SAT challenge?"

Kansas didn't have a reply to that. He simply stared down Connecticut with a cold glare. Connecticut smirked just a tad, and announced, "Team Victory is the most _balanced_ team. For intelligence, they have Washington. For strength, they have New Mexico. For beauty, they have California, for creativity they've got Oregon, et cetera, et cetera. Now the team _I_ despise most is Team Dakota."

A few nods went around at that. "Oh, please," Illinois interrupted, holding up a hand. "North Dakota is clearly one of the most intelligent power players we've seen _yet_ in any Total Drama season. Even if Team Dakota _does_ lose in this debate, we all know there's no _way_ she'd be voted off. No, the team that needs to go down is Team Virginia. Way too small. Plus, Virginia back-stabbed me, and _stole _what was originally mine. She took my place in the show-"

"Uh, you would've done the exact same thing," Indiana pointed out with a skeptical expression on her face. "This is stupid. Team Democracy's really to blame in all this."

Everyone turned towards Arkansas, who hadn't said a word for the entire debate. "Why _are_ you supporting them, anyways?" Michigan asked curiously. "Team Democracy only has four contestants. New York lied and got _several_ contestants voted off."

"Well - I mean - yeah, but he didn't mean it!" Arkansas stammered, slightly terrified of all the people ganging up on him. "I mean - yeah, he did mean it, but - but from what I can tell, he at least felt _sorry_ about it afterwards!"

Delaware looked down sadly at the floor. "I'm afraid I don't have much sympathy for New York anymore," she admitted. "He's a really nice guy, but... the way he voted me off just to get ahead in the game... and then New Jersey... and then Connecticut..."

A few solemn nods went around, particularly from members who had been voted off from that team. "Yeah..." Connecticut sighed. "I'm gonna have to go with Team Democracy here. I mean, not _everybody's_ bad from there... but I have a good feeling that if we _do_ pick them, New York will be the one eliminated."

He received a lot of head nodding to that. "Wait!" Arkansas shouted. "Come on, we need to - we need - let's vote for Team Touchdown!"

But most people had their minds set. Blaineley perked up her ears, and asked, "Have we reached a consensus? Can we vote yet?"

A lot of people had their minds set on Team Democracy, but some didn't seem to agree. Blaineley stood up straight, and addressed the fifteen losers, "Losers! If you vote for Team Democracy to go to the voting ceremony tonight, raise your hands!"

A pause. Hands began to raise. The only hands that _didn't_ were from Arkansas, Utah, and Maryland. "Looks like we've come to a conclusion!" Blaineley announced, smiling widely and facing the cameras. "The four members of Team Democracy are now being notified of their loss! Let's switch to the bus camera!"

**6:39 PM.**

Five long buses sat side by side in a dark parking lot. A huge, brightly lit theater wasn't far away. Huge spotlights waved around in the sky, signalling that a big performance was going on in Toronto. A half-moon slowly descended towards the horizon. Twenty-one contestants nervously listened to the results of the Aftermath's debate.

The situation was grim in Team Democracy's bus. To their horror, towards the end of the debate, everybody seemed increasingly anti-Team Democracy. And then...

"_Looks like we've come to a conclusion!_" a radio screeched. "_The four members of Team Democracy are now being notified of their loss! Let's switch to the bus camera!_"

Massachusetts groaned, and gave New York a suspicious glare. "This _sucks_..." Massachusetts moaned. "New York... you _heard_ them. They all voted for us because of _you_."

"You _know_ I didn't - that I regret voting off Connecticut like that!" he cried in desperation. "Pennsylvania - Penn, you believe me, right?"

Pennsylvania hesitated as a figure beckoned them from outside. "Um... yes, New York," she stammered. New York nodded. "Then we'll tie," he pointed out. "And someone at random will be voted off."

That didn't sound good to anybody at all. "Let's not... let's not worry about it," Maine cautioned as Chris sped towards the bus. "We vote, and then... and then one of us goes home. And that'll just be that."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_132_mp3**

"Oh, no. _Ohhh, no_. It's over. I think Pennsylvania is going to vote for me. And even if she doesn't, then someone gets kicked off at random. And _that person could easily be me_. I can't let that happen. But... but what can I do? Cheat, and... and put in multiple votes for someone. I can't do that. Could I? It's... it's an option."

New York

**6:44 PM.**

"Hellooo, Team Democracy!" Chris greeted, a big smile on his face. "You all ready to vote? Jesus, look at you all, you're about as white as a ghost. Come on down for the ceremony!"

Chris led the four onto the rough, cold asphalt. "This is the last voting ceremony you as a team will face!" he pointed out. "After today is the merge. But we've still got a few more days. Anyways, as usual, toss your votes into this hat so I can count them up."

One by one, each contestant deposited their vote into Chris's outstretched top hat. New York had quite a bit of trouble with his vote. After everyone finished, Chris took each slip of paper one by one and looked them over. When he reached the fifth vote, however, his eyebrow began to creep up his face.

"Uhhh..." he muttered, squinting. "Hm. Well. Now, _this_ is interesting. I'll have to abide by this. When I call your name, you are safe! I'll let you know how many people voted for you. If you _don't_ get your name called, you will _not_ receive a tasty snack, and will be forced to return home!"

He then stared at them all rather seriously. "Massachusetts!" he yelled. "No votes, surprisingly enough. Weird. You get a bag of pretzels!"

Chris tossed the food to him. Even Massachusetts seemed surprised he didn't get any votes, but quickly realized who must have. Chris smiled, and looked over his list.

"Pennsylvania! Also no votes!" he yelled, tossing a packet of skittles. "Nice job, Pennsylvania. Keep it up."

That just made it between Maine and New York. Evidently, New York and Pennsylvania had gotten together to vote for Maine, while Massachusetts and Maine directed their votes towards the obvious choice of New York. There was a pause.

"The final snack goes to..." Chris began, right when he was cut off by Massachusetts saying, "Chris. It's a tie. We know."

"Actually... it _isn't_ a tie," Chris said ominously. Everybody except New York looked instantly confused. Even Pennsylvania. "Like I was saying," Chris continued, "the final snack goes... to..."

...

...

...

...

...

"With two votes, New York!"

"What?" Maine yelped. "But - that doesn't make any rational sense! If New York got two votes, and nobody else but me got the other votes, then _I_ should have two votes!"

"Actually... you had _three_," Chris pointed out. "You got three votes. New York got two. Five votes total, four contestants... someone cheated."

There was a long pause as the realization dawned upon everybody. "Since I _cannot_ prove who did it, though I have a fairly good idea of who did," Chris then said, "I'm afraid I'll have to oblige this turn in events! Sorry, Maine, you're goin' home!"

"No!" Massachusetts cried. "No, she - she _can't!_ Holy shit - _New York, you fucking cheated!_"

New York jumped back a little, terrified of Massachusetts's desperation. "I didn't mean to!" he cried, though that was the _worst_ possible answer he could have given at that moment. Tears were beginning to collect in Massachusetts's eyes. "How _could you?_" he yelled. "You _know_ Maine and I are close! You _cheated to save your own skin!_ You are - you are _so selfish!_ All of _us_ were ready for the random picking! Why couldn't _you_ have been?"

"It _doesn't matter!_" New York rebounded, looking determined but scared. "What happened... happened."

"Wow, 'what happened _happened_'?" Massachusetts repeated incredulously. "Oh, so - Chris, _disqualify New York!_ He openly admitted to cheating!"

"_Well_..." Chris began, fidgeting slightly. "I'm not sure if I can. Technically, I never said you _couldn't_ cheat, so... I kind of _have_ to allow it. And besides, I've always been lenient of cheating! Remember the Courtney Incident of '07?"

"This cannot be happening..." Massachusetts muttered, rubbing his forehead. "I cannot believe this. Maine - Maine, _please,_ don't go."

Maine had been packing her things from the bus as they all argued it out. She appeared with her blue suitcase, and smiled sadly. "I'm... I'm really sorry, Massachusetts," she sighed. "This sucks. I know."

Massachusetts hesitated a little bit, torn between admitting something he'd been fearful of saying for a long time. New York noticed this, and groaned. "Massachusetts, come on, dude," he said. "You're gay. You don't actually like Maine, do you?"

"_Fuck you!_" Massachusetts shouted, turning on New York. "And fuck _me_ for ever thinking you could be trusted! I am _bisexual_. I have told you guys that from the _start_. Do _not_ do this right now, York. I am _not_ finished with you. You'd just better pray I'm not on your team after the merge."

Maine checked her watch. "I gotta get going," she said after a while. "My ride's waiting. Hey... guys? It's been a lot of fun."

There was a solemn moment of silence at that. "Yeah... I'm really sorry, Maine," Pennsylvania sighed, hugging her friend. "I am so, _so _sorry... I just wanted to stay on the show..."

"I know, Penn," Maine muttered. "I'll be rooting for you back home. You do well, now."

Pennsylvania wiped her eyes, and nodded shakily. Maine gave one last look to her team, one last wave, and then departed for the bus. And then there were three.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_133_mp3**

"Okay. I am officially screwed. It's... it's just me versus Pennsylvania and New York now. After New York - after he _cheated_, Maine is gone, and now... and now, I just... this is so horrible. The merge has to be good. There has to be some good to come out of it. I really hope I'm not on New York's team. But... I'll find out soon enough."

Massachusetts

**END OF INTERMISSION 2**

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Connecticut, Kansas, and Maine.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **Emily A. Elliott, TheWriterGirl09271998, Nico Nico Nii You In The Face, and Angelina Everett!

**aspiringAnimator - **And _that_ is the final episode in which there are five teams. Next episode, which will be uploaded this weekend, there will only be _two teams_. Exciting! Say goodbye to the names Victory, Virginia, Touchdown, Democracy, and Dakota! The new teams will get new names, new faces, new relationships... it'll get crazy. I've got a lot planned for Act 3.

Because there are now only twenty contestants remaining, the max votes you can have on the poll has been lowered to two! Remember the poll? Fourteen people have voted on it! Cool, cool... but I _know_ more people than that are reading this! So, if you haven't already, give it a vote! Let your voice be heard. The polls _do_ matter more than you think. In fact, they might just affect the story in some way. Uh oh! Just revealing something I shouldn't have! Totally not intentional, of course.

Read, review, follow, favorite, do _all _of those things! I am really happy with the fact that I haven't dropped this fic. It's been a long, wild ride so far, and I am loving getting to write about these characters some more. And even though we're getting less and less characters with every episode, my average word count per chapter has gone up from 3,000 words to like _7,000_ now. On _average_. Is this normal? Is it _okay_ to write 14,000 words a week? I should see a doctor._  
_


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